The Curious Case of Purple Smart
Spike sat precariously on the edge of Rarity's bed, his eyes flicking nervously around her bedroom. Everything seemed to either be made of gems or have gems embedded within it, and the light from the sun outside beamed inside and glinted off of all of it. The lights the room was giving off made the whole place seem like a disco party.
Rarity was attired in her favorite evening gown, gazing fondly at the small dragon visiting her room. Spike's heart started racing just looking at her.
"Oh, Spike," Rarity said. "Have I ever told you that you're my favorite dragon?"
"Gee, yeah, but I don't mind hearing it from you, Rarity..." Spike felt his face burning.
"Well it's just you and I here tonight," she cooed. "Maybe we can have some fun."
Spike felt his throat closing up. "Like... what?"
"You know," Rarity said, and leaned closer to him. Spike felt himself leaning in closer as well.
"PILLOW FIGHT!" Rarity screamed, at the same moment her horn lit up and smacked the poor dragon with a pillow so hard that he toppled off the bed.
Spike landed on his head on the floor next to his own bed, in near total darkness. Celestia had barely begun raising the sun yet, although a few dim rays of light peeked cautiously over the horizon far outside the window. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful summer day, which meant the little dragon was probably going to spend most of it inside, hard at work.
Spike grunted and picked himself up, distangling himself from the bedsheets that wound around his body. He jumped up the couple of small steps that led to the higher part of the second floor, and went to wake Twilight. At least he would have, had he not found her bed completely empty.
"Twilight?" He asked.
No response. It wasn't the first time this had happened, she'd likely stayed up all night reading again. But just in case something awful had happened to her, Spike left the bedroom area and slowly made his way down the spiral staircase. Dawn was only just beginning, and he had to squint a bit to see.
"Twilight?" He asked again. No verbal response, but this time there was a dull groan and a thump from the kitchen area. There were all sorts of rooms in this tree, though the Library was for the public during the day, most of Twilight's living arrangements were closed off until the Library closed for the evening.
The little dragon slowly crept downstairs, cracked open the door and peered around the corner.
Twilight Sparkle was more of a mess than he'd ever seen her, her mane completely disheveled and sticking out in all directions. A chair from the table stuck out at an awkward angle and was directly in her path, and she didn't seem to possess the ability or the cognitive functioning to get around it. Her front legs barely lifted off the floor as she shuffled forward trying to get past the chair, and her back legs dragged completely.
"Twi...light?" Spike whispered. He'd never seen his friend look anything less than perfect before, even in the mornings. Seeing her like this sent a chill down his tail and a crack down his heart.
The unicorn looked at him with lifeless, bloodshot eyes. "Breeeeeeeeeeeeeans."
Spike made a yelping noise that he'd never made before in his life, tumbled backwards and shot out of the kitchen, slamming the door.
"No, no, no...Oh Luna, it's started... I told everypony it was going to happen, but none of them believed me... why didn't they believe me?! If this is where the infection starts... this is where it ends!" He puffed up his chest, booking it for the front door. He unlocked the latch, slipped out, closed the door again, and raced outside into the early morning, where he was nearly run over by none other than Pinkie herself.
"Oh hai Mark... I mean Spike!" Pinkie chirped.
Spike blinked. "Pinkie? Are you alright?"
The party pony was jittering more than usual. "Yepparooni!I'mjustdoinganexperimenttoseehowlongIcanstayupandI'vehadsixtycupsofcoffeealreadyandI'vebeenupforfourdaysandtheboxsaidtherewouldbesideeffectsbutIhaven'texperiencedanythinglikethatyetsoI'mperfectlyfine!" She said.
"I'm sorry, could you slow down, I didn't quite catch..."
"Oh hi Spike!" Pinkie said. "When did you get here? IwasjusttellingSpikethatI'mdoinganexperimenttoseehowlongIcan..."
The dragon sighed, and waved her off. "Never mind, Pinkie. I'm on a mission. Twilight is-" Twilight! "Pinkie, wait, there's something you should know!" He spun around, but the party pony was already halfway down the road, chasing a terrified chicken.
"Think, Spike. Think. Pinkie's losing it, Applejack will be in the middle of her chores right now, and then she's taking Bloom to school... Rarity is..." He sighed dreamily. "Rarity... probably isn't up yet... and she almost destroyed the last pony who woke her up..." He tapped his chin. "Fluttershy doesn't like zombies, and Rainbow Dash lives in a cloud, I can't get up there. Looks like it's up to Princess Celestia!"
Looking both ways, Spike slipped back into the Library. He made his way over to the writing desk in the main part of the bookshelves that Twilight often used, and rapidly began to scribble on a scroll.
"Dear... Princess... Celestia. Your favorite dragon Spike here. Sorry to bother you this early, but Twilight has turned into a zombie. I'd like your help before the whole town gets infected. Your friend, Spike." He looked proud of himself. "There." Cracking his jaws open, he flung the scroll up in the air and belched a thick stream of green fire. The scroll dissolved into a fading display of sparks.
"There," Spike said. "Now all I have to do is wa-"
Before he could even finish, a scroll materialized in the air in front of him.
"Whoa! That was fast," Spike said, unrolling the answer that had been sent to him.
Dear Citizen, we apologize for the inconvenience, but this line has been disconnected and is no longer in use. Please redirect your scroll and try again.
Spike swore and threw the scroll on the ground. "I knew we shouldn't have switched our service to Hay T&T... looks like it's up to Spike!" He left the Library once more and returned to the kitchen He cracked the door open cautiously, finding Twilight standing almost exactly where he'd left her.
"Hey, Twi..." Spike said soothingly. "You alright?"
Twilight barely even glanced at him, she just kept kicking at the counter. "Breeeeeeeeeeeeans..." She groaned.
"Alright, that's a no, good talk." Spike said, closing the door again. "Well, Pinkie's the only one around right now, she needs to know about this." He glanced sadly at the closed kitchen door. "I'm so sorry, Twilight. Hang in there. I'll fix this, I promise." He raced his little legs out the door, heading as fast as he possibly could towards Sugarcube Corner.
The streets of Ponyville were still fairly empty for the most part, being barely sunrise and all. This was good news for a little dragon, who didn't yet have to worry about being run over by carriages. Reaching the bakery, he was momentarily overcome by the sweet smells coming from within. Sugarcube Corner wasn't open just yet, but he had to try.
Spike pounded several times on the front door, and waited.
A very concerned looking Carrot Cake opened the door, and peered downwards. "Spike? I'm very sorry but we're not open, we're still baking everything for the day. Are you alright?"
"It's Twilight," Spike said. "I need to speak to Pinkie, it's an emergency."
Mr. Cake looked worried. "Well of course. Pinkie is running errands for us right now, but you're welcome to wait here until she comes back. Do you have time to wait?"
"I don't think so," Spike said. "Thank you anyway, though."
Mr. Cake nodded. "If I see her, I'll send her to Twilight's immediately. Be careful, Spike." He closed the door.
Spike sighed. "Looks like this calls for extreme measures," he said. "But I'd do anything for my best friend." He peered downwards at the rocks and debris littering the side of the street. "I Pinkie Promise I'm not going to kick that rock," he said, and promptly kicked the rock anyway.
Pinkie Pie burst out of the mailbox next to him, giving him a deviously dangerous look. "How DARE you!" She said. "Apologize to that rock right now!"
"Pinkie I-"
"Do it!"
Spike looked down. "I'm sorry, rock."
"Good." Pinkie said. "What can I... what can I... what can I... what can I... what can I..." Spike kicked her front leg. "What can I do for you? Sorry, I think I had too much coffee."
"Yeah, because that's not a scary thought at all," Spike said. "I hate to tell you this, but Twilight's turned into a zombie and keeps trying to eat my brain. Can you help?"
Pinkie frowned. "Zombies aren't real, silly."
"You haven't seen Twilight."
"Then show me!" Pinkie chirped.
"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you," Spike warned.
A Few Minutes Later...
"She's in here?" Pinkie asked, gesturing to the closed kitchen door. Spike nodded in reply
Pinkie slowly cracked the door open, peering inside. Twilight remained where she'd been throughout this whole ordeal, kicking the counter.
"Breeeeeeeeeeaaaaans..." She groaned.
Pinkie gave a sigh of relief, then started laughing so hard that streamers flew out of her nose.
"Pinkie! This is serious!" Spike protested.
"She's fine, Spike!" Pinkie said.
"But..."
"You've never been a mare in the early morning, silly. She doesn't want brains... she wants beans. You're out of coffee."
Spike's eye twitched. "...What."
Pinkie ventured further into the kitchen, and Spike grabbed a hold of her tail, trying in vain to keep her back. "Pinkie, don't! It's not safe!" Spike insisted.
The party pony ignored him, and pulled a container filled with a thin black liquid from the depths of her mane.
"How did you..." Spike began.
Pinkie didn't answer him, and wrenched open Twilight's mouth, pouring the contents of the container into the unicorns jaws.
Spike was watching this entire exchange nervously, biting his claws.
Twilight slowly pulled herself together, her eyes blinking.
"Pinkie?" Twilight asked. "What are you doing?"
"Spike thought you were trying to eat him," Pinkie said casually.
"What? No!" The unicorn gasped, and took a step towards Spike. The dragon backed up but tripped over his tail, tensing up instinctively as Twilight nuzzled him. "I'm not myself until I've had my coffee, Spike."
"Told you," Pinkie said. "Wait... speaking of coffee, I'm supposed to be running errands right now! I gotta go!" She zoomed out the door so quickly she left a Pinkie shaped imprint of dust behind, who ran off after her to catch up.
"Are you alright, Spike?" Twilight asked.
"I think so," the dragon said. "So are we back to normal now? We don't have to worry about Ocean Breeze?"
"Ocean Breeze?"
"That stallion with the overdue library book who you were going to throttle yesterday?"
Twilight made a horrified noise. "He hasn't returned it yet?! Come on, Spike! We've a lesson in punctuality to administer!" She ducked underneath him to scoop the dragon onto her back, and charged out the door.
Yeah, she was gonna be fine.
