The Great and Powerful Trixie’s secrets revealed!
By Gabby Gums
You’ve all heard of the Great an Powerful Trixie, the most powerful unicorn in Equestria (who couldn’t even vanquish an ursa minor, how lame). Now we will delve behind the scenes and see what makes this unicorn special (Hint: it’s not her magical abilities).
A first-hand account of her performance reveals some startling revelations. The performance was said to be “Over the top without anything truly spectacular. Even the special effects were kinda cheesy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were fake.” Furter investigation proves that these 'magical' effects were indeed fake! Mere chemical pyrotechnics to cover up for the lack-luster abilities of the fraudulent unicorn.
However, the scandal runs deeper. Not only can this unicorn not create her own pyrotechnics, but cannot even perform basic teleportation! Every single one of her spells was reported to be in a beginners spell book. Not only a fraud on the stage, this unicorn is quite possibly the least powerful unicorn in all of Equestria!
Trixie read the newspaper in front of her with a furious scowl. Rage boiled within her veins as a fury unmatched by even Nightmare Moon herself rose to the surface.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to stand for such nonsense. The Great and Powerful Trixie will show this ‘Gabby Gums’ who’s a fraud. The Great and Powerful Trixie will have her revenge!”
.........
The sun shone bright over Ponyville, as every pony went around their usual business. Pegasi were clearing out the clouds, earth ponies tending the farm, and as usual the Cutie Mark Crusaders were searching for something crazy and dangerous to do to earn their cutie marks, after their failed attempt as ‘Gabby Gums’
“Well, shame we didn’t get our journalism cutie marks” said Applebloom. “But it was fun!”
“Having the whole town angry at you was fun?” shouted Scootaloo in disbelief
“Hey, we made some pretty good articles. I mean, I felt bad about writing some of those things about good ponies, but some of them deserved it!”
“Name one.”
Sweetie Bell quickly walked over to a pile of discarded newspapers from the previous week and started searching. Immediately, she returned to her friends and placed the paper on the ground, open to their column.
The Great and Powerful Trixie’s secrets revealed! stared back at them.
“Oh, I remember that story. It was wicked!” Scootaloo held her hoof up high towards her friend. A white hoof came in to complete the hoof-bump.
“Ya, Sweetie, howd’ya figure all that out about the Great and Powerful Trixie?” asked Applebloom
“A real reporter digs deeper into background information.”
Sweeties reply was met with quizzical glances from her friends
“Alright, fine. I went to the library.”
“And actually read a book? You must have really been dedicated to getting journalism cutie marks” said Scotaloo, unable to believe anypony would actually read anything.
“Reading? Heavens no! I simply asked Twilight for her opinion and made the rest up from there.”
“Phew. I thought for a moment you were turning into an egghead on me. Nopony cool ever reads anything”
“Wait, Sweetie” interrupted Applebloom. “When you say ‘made up the rest’...
Sweetie looked at the ground and tentatively responded. ‘well, it might not be 100% true”
“Won’t some ponies get mad at us for lying.”
“The only pony that knows it’s false is the Great and Powerful Trixie, and she hasn’t been seen around here since the catastrophe with the Ursa Minor”
Up until that moment the sun had been shining brightly in the sky, illuminating the world with its warming glow. However like a candle being snuffed, the world was suddenly plunged into darkness around the three fillies. Lightning bolts cracked down from the sky around them, pushing the frightened ponies into a close huddle together.
“Hello, Gabby Gums.” The voice rang clear, overpowering all of their senses.”
“Who... who are you?” asked Applebloom, more than just a little frightened.
“Your worst nightmare. The last pony you should have messed with, and the most powerful pony in all of Equestria!”
“More like the most lame pony in all of Equestria” said Scootaloo, taking a step forwards into the darkness
A gasp was audible through the roaring thunderheads
“How DARE you insult me, the Great and Powerful TRIXIE!”
Upon speaking the last word, a cacophony of fireworks rained down upon the unsuspecting fillies, coming frighteningly close to singing Sweetie Bell’s mane. They exploded into a dense smoke, rolling thickly along the ground. A single beam of light was visible piercing the cover, illuminating a blue unicorn in a star-studded cloak. Trixie has returned, and she appeared angry.
“What do you want, Trixie” said Scootaloo, gaining more confidence in the face of a challenge
“Trixie is here to prove she is not a fraud, but indeed the most talented unicorn in Equestria’s history! Whatever you can do, Trixie can do better.”
The clouds cleared from above them, returning their beloved daylight once more to them, blinding after the pitch blackness they had just left.
“Ya well, we can do anything even better than you!” taunted Applbloom. Trixie fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker.
“Name your game!”
“Anything?” Scootaloo asked, a plan already forming in her mind
“Absolutely anything!”
“Fine, let’s race. From here to Rainbow Dash’s cloud house on the edge of Ponyville.” she said, smiling at her ability to both show up another pony, and perhaps impress her idol, the coolest pony in all of Ponyville, neigh, in all of Equestria!
Without waiting for an answer, she jumped on her scooter and launched herself into the crowd of ponies walking through the town. Most ponies were used to her reckless endeavors and were quick to move out of her way for fear of being run over. For some unknown reason nopony ever complained about her dangerous behavior and near-crippling collisions. Weaving her way through ponies, she saw looked back and saw Trixie attempting to keep pace with her, unsuccessfully. Smiling, she turned back to see Fluttershy mere inches in front of her.
“WATCH OUT!” she yelled, apparently too late for anypony to do anything to avoid the oncoming crash
Well. Anypony slower than Rainbow Dash. In a blur of colors, Scootaloo found herself launched into the air, Rainbow Dash gliding along beside her
“Hey, Scoots. Watch where you’re going next time.”
“Sorry Dash. I’m racing Trixie!” she said, trying to show off to her idol
“Ya, good for you. Come back when your racing Spitfire and I’ll be impressed” she said, dismissing the attempt to show off to return and check on Fluttershy
Scootaloo looked down, seeing the ground fast approaching. She was almost at the other side of the town. Only a few more buildings to go.
As she approached the end, she noticed a grave oversight. Her path took her straight past Ponyville’s premiere rope maker. As if magically enchanted (well, the blue glow revealed that they were in fact magically enchanted), the ropes came to life and created a wall in between her and her destination.
“So close. Can’t fail now.”
Launching herself upwards, and flapping her wings for added height, she sailed over the ropes. Or at least she was sailing over them, until the scooter underneath her disappeared in a tangle of rope. A net weaved itself in front of her, and with no way to avoid it she crashed headfirst into the trap.
She lay there for what felt like minutes, waiting for some pony to come and set her free. She heard hoofsteps from around the corner. Was she saved?
Walking around the corner, came Trixie
“Anypony but Trixie” she groaned.
Walking past, head held high, Trixie didn’t even acknowledge the tangled mess that had trapped her adversary.
“Scoots!” shouted Applebloom as she and Sweetie Bell ran up to the entangled friend.
“I’ve failed. I’m sorry girls.”
“Don’t worry” comforted Sweetie Bell. “We’re not done yet.”
The now untangled pony walked alongside her friends to the cloud house that marked the finish line, where Trixie was waiting. Luckily Rainbow was already out, unable to see her moment of weakness.
“Is that all fillies? Trixie is least impressed.”
“Hey, were not out yet. We can still beat you!”
“What shall Trixie destroy you in now?”
The crusaders huddled together, trying to find something that would be so crazy, so cool, and so ridiculous that there was no way that Trixie could beat them at it.
“Alright girls, what are we good at?” said Sweetie
“That’s the problem. We don’t have our cutie marks yet, we don’t know what we're good at.” Replied Applebloom.
“We’re good at trying to find out cutie marks!”
“And look at how that turned out”
“Well, let’s use this as another opportunity to find out what we're good at!”
“Alright. What’s your suggestion?”
Scootaloo had been sitting off to the side, came forwards and joined the group
“You know what would make an awesome cutie mark?” she said with a smile
“What?” bothe replied at the same time
“Prankster cutie marks!”
“So let me get this right.” said Applebloom “You want to challenge a unicorn to a prank off?”
“Why not?”
“It’s worth a try!”
The three fillies turned around to face the impatiently waiting Trixie
“We’ve decided. We challenge you to a prank off!”
“Really” she replied, a little shocked. “You think it wise to challenge Trixie to a prank war? Trixie is so glad she is not you at the moment. You are going to get creamed! Last one pranked wins.”
She turned around and walked off, a cloud of smoke appearing behind her
All of a sudden, the sound of hoofbeats running on the ground was audible behind them. Turning around, they saw Snips and Snails rushing towards them.
“The G and PT is back, The G and PT is back!” they shouted in unison. “Where’d she go?”
“G and PT?” Applebloom asked, clearly confused.
“G and PT.” said Snips
“Ya, don’t you know about the G and PT?” said Snails
“Uhhh, what’s the G and PT?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie!” finished Snips. “And they called me slow.”
“HEY” Scootaloo said, stepping forwards to defend her friend. She had to think of something, and quick. “Well... Y” she enunciated the letter, putting a small pause after it. What could she say? “A.” a new idea entered her mind, though she was still racking her brain for something else. “D”
“Huh?” everypony said in unison, including the other crusaders
“Y.A.D. Don’tcha know?” she said, winking at Applebloom
“Oh ya. You have to be a complete idiot not to know. Y.A.D” The two of them exchanged a hoof bump
Snips and Snails heads both lowered to literally touching the ground, depressed at their own... lack of knowledge.
“You don’t know? Oh well...” there was an awkward pause. Awkward only because it was intended to be. “See ya later” Scootaloo said, rushing off. The other crusaders were quick to follow
“Alright what the hay was that all about? Y.A.D? What’s that supposed to mean” asked Applebloom, as soon as they were out of earshot
“I have absolutely no idea. It was the first 3 letters that came to mind. But those two are in for a heck of a day racking their brains for a non-existant answer”
The implications of the even dawned on the others, and they all burst into laughter at the same time.
“Maybe you are made to be a prankster after all” said Sweetie
“Cutie mark yet?” Scootaloo said excited, turning around. Her flank was still clean as water.“Oh well. Maybe after we get Trixie.”
“So how are we going to beat her?” asked Sweetie Bell.
“The same way we do anything” replied Scootaloo confidently. “We pick random ideas out of our brains and throw ourselves headfirst at them until we finally succeed. Nopony can match the pure stamina of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”
“I heard laughter!” came a shout. Out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie appeared beside them
“Pinkie, where’d you come from.”
“I was over in Sugar Cube Corner when I hear laughing. I though some ponies were having fun, so I jumped out the window, and ran across Ponyville as fast as I could to join in. So what’cha doing? Wanna help me make a party balloon?” she said, bouncing up and down at the idea of having fun.
“Uh, right now were trying to beat Trixie in a prank off.”
“You know, a party balloon sounds like a good idea. If we don’t win, we can challenge her to party ballooning.
“PRANK WAR!” Pinkies eyes lit up at the idea. “I love those!”
All of a sudden, Pinkie’s tail started twitching uncontrollably.
“Oh no. when my tails a twitchng. You know what that means right?”
“Uh.” The three said in unison
“RUN!”
The crusaders bolted different ways, mere seconds before a boulder landed on the ground beside where they were just standing.
Lightning bolts struck the earth around them, and the sky darkened. Each pony looked up, to see the silhouette of the Great and Powerful Trixie standing on a nearby roof, suspending another boulder or two above them with magic and rope-work, as well as the flying delivery truck driven by Derpy Hooves, loaded full of pianos, that just happened to be coincidentally passing by that way. A flick of her horn, and the truck came to a grinding halt. Anvils, pianos, and the sort crashed all around them. Debris surrounded the girls, trapping them in a circle of crushed objects. A maniacal laughter was heard coming from the rooftops around them
“We’re trapped”
Pinkie turned around and jumped into the circle
“Leave no pony behind. You might want to close your eyes for this, or you’ll get a teensy bit dizzy.” She said, picking up the crusaders. Applebloom was too late, and saw the world around her disappeared into a streak of pink. She squeezed her eyes shut, but by then it was already over. Peaking out, she noticed they were in Sugarcube Corner.
“How...How did you do that?”
“Let’s just say, me an physics don’t get along to well and leave it at that.” Pinkie replied
“Drats. My first attempt foiled” came Trixie’s voice from outside. “But I will be back”
“Phew, were safe” said Applebloom
“Lightning bolts an pianos. That seems just a bit over the top for a prank, don’t you think?” said Scootaloo.
“She must be really angry. I kinda feel sorry for what I wrote about her.” Sweetie bell replied
“We don’t have time for sorrow, we need to pick up the pace on this war” commented Applebloom, trying to urge her friends into action
“I know, so far we’ve only destroyed half of ponyville. I’m sure if we tried we could blow up a building or two before were done.” Scootaloo said, sarcastically.
“Explosions! Perfect” said Applebloom. “Follow me girls, I know just where to go!”
They tentatively followed their friend, not knowing what she had in store for Trixie, nor sure if they really wanted to know.
As they stepped out of the back entrance, Trixie was waiting for them
“There she is” said Scootaloo. “CHARGE”
The three ponies rushed forwards, completely oblivious to the obvious traps set around Trixie. As soon as they got close, the sky turned dark. The crusaders looked up in surprise. What was even more surprising was that Trixie looked upwards as well. A wall of pink frosting obscured their vision, as a mess of cake and icing toppled down upon all 4 of them
“HA HA! I win the prank war. There’s no-pony that can out prank the Pinksters!” came the shout from a hot air balloon, floating just overtop of sugar cube corner
The crusaders broke into fits of laughter. Trixie, however, was less impressed.
“Come back here you crazy pony. Trixie does not take defeat from anypony!” A black thunderhead started to gather beside the balloon.
Pinkies tail twitched reflexively, as she untied one of the weight bags on her balloon in an attempt to gain altitude. The bag plummeted towards the ground, landing squarely on the head of The Great and Powerful Trixie, exploding into a cloud of white… flour? The thunderhead broke apart into wisps of magic, and a completely white Trixie stood in the middle of the ground. The pink pony sailed away, safe from the revenge of the furious unicorn. The crusaders weren’t so lucky, all silently wishing they had taken Pinkie’s suggestion of the party balloon, if only for a chance to escape the oncoming wrath
“That is IT! Trixie is DONE playing silly games with you fillies. Trixie will, once and for all, show the world that Trixie is the best pony, and the greatest magician to ever live. Talent show. 1 hour. Right here. “
Trixie stormed off in a rage, her anger permeating her body so greatly that the stones underneath her hooves threatened to shatter. A small pang of sorrow went through Sweetie Bells heart, not for themselves, but for the ponies that were sure to get in her way during the next hour. Silently, she thanked Celestia that they at least had an hour away from that maniacal unicorn.
“Aw man, how are we going to beat Trixie at her own game?” said Applebloom
Sweetie bell pulled the newspaper from earlier out of her saddlebag. “She’s a fraud, remember?”
“But, I thought you jus made all that stuff up?”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t make it all true.”
The beginnings of a brilliant plan started to formulate in Sweetie Bell’s mind. They had already suggested that many of Trixie’s tricks were fraudulent. Now was the time to prove it, by pulling all of them of in front of the very pony that least expected it.
“That’s a nice idea and all, but do you really want to be earning a fraud cutie mark?” asked Scootaloo.
“It’s not a ‘fraud’ cutie mark, think of it more as a ‘talent show’ cutie mark” Sweetie Bell replied
“But then you’ll look just like Trixie”
A shiver went down every ponies spine. NOpony wanted to look like Trixie
“Perhaps it’s a ‘showing off a show off’ cutie mark? That’s bound to look cool!”
Scootaloo shrugged, accepting the idea for a plan. “Regardless, I’m not backing down from a challenge. Let’s show up that show-off!”
“Ok, than let’s get ready.”
.........
“Presenting, The Great and Powerful TRIXIE.” The words rang clear through the audience, capturing the attention of all those present. Snips and Snails cheered the loudest, of course, but still looked as confused as when the crusaders had last left them. Nothing else appeared to have crossed their mind during the day.
Behind a poof of smoke, Trixie walked onstage, unnoticed by the crowd. She appeared to have just appeared, and only the talented eye could have picked out otherwise. Sweetie Bell, standing backstage, gave a nod to Applebloom. “Now it’s your turn”
Applebloom looked at the contraption they had set up. It was a mass of piping, strung together all along the ground, splitting into multiple shafts that exited all around the area. Sweetie said it would make her voice more powerfull, but Applebloom had her doubts.
”AND” her voice rang clear from all around, scaring the birds away from the trees and catching the attention of almost every pony in Ponyville. “THE AMAZING SWEETIE BELL”
On cue, Scootaloo took what Twilight called ‘dry ice’ and poured hot water over it. As soon as Twilight heard of the challenge, she was more than happy to help out. Apparently that pony had a competitive side, and liked to show up other ponies, but her desires to keep her friendships had prevented her from letting those desires out. After having built up for years, Twilight had pulled together a massive show for them to perform. When the water touched the ice Twilight had given them, a thick fog appeared and rolled along the ground.
From underneath the stage, a trap door opened up, and unknown to anypony was the filly that had made her way underneath. Sweetie bell reached up to the stage and pulled herself upwards, closing the door behind her.
Applebloom and Scootaloo each grabbed a firework, specially created by Twilight beforehand. Apparently they were made of hydrogen gas, or something, with a flint striker. The only thing that mattered to them was that they were easy to use. They lifted the fireworks and hit them against the ground. Out of the ends launched a column of fire, flying over the stage and clearing the fog. Left standing on the stage, beside the astonished Trixie, was Sweetie Bell.
“Sweetie Bell. They send a magician up against me, the Great and Powerful Trixie? How pathetic. And your that fashionista Rarity’s sister. Proving myself better than your magic should be a joke.”
“If you’re so confident, than why not show me what you can do?” she taunted.
“Let’s see how you like this!”
With a flick of her horn, and a poof of magic, Sweetie Bell’s pink and purple hair turned a putrid shade of green.
“Ha, is that all you got?”
She lowered her horn and pointed it towards the smug unicorn. From overtop of the stage, Applebloom and Scootaloo each poured warm water onto a block of dry ice. The effect was immediate, bathing the stage in smoke
During the confusion, Sweetie Bell removed the now-green wig from atop her head, hiding it under the stage, and pulled out a similar-colored wig, in a different hair style. The style of Trixie’s hair. Carefully slipping the wig underneath Trixie’s hat, she returned to her side of the stage as the smoke cleared.
The audience gasped in amazement, as not only did Sweetie’s hair appear to be its original color, but Trixie’s had changed as well.
The stunned unicorn looked at her reflection in the polished mirror, conveniently placed beside the stage, as her shock turning to outrage.
“NOPONY MESSES WITH THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE! Let’s see how you deal with THIS”
A rope that was conveniently laid onstage levitated forwards, more menacing and ominous then a rope should have appeared. Applebloom saw this, and gave the cue to Scootaloo. She immediately started to skateboard down a hill, the other end of the rope attached to the board. The rope was quickly running out of slack, as Scootaloo picked up as much speed as she could.
On-stage, Sweetie Bell stared at the rope for a second. Then she let out a laugh that seemed to challenge Trixie to do something. Never one to back away from a challenge, Trixie approached the defenseless filly. With a flick of her horn, the rope got tight and flew across the stage, breaking free of Trixie’s control and smacking her across the face.
In shock and pain, Trixie lifted a hoof to her face, and brought it down with a red smear.
“B...b... blood?” She stammered. A single drop fell from her face onto the stage. She stared at the splatter, slowly backing away, until another drop fell right next to her hoof. She jumped back in surprise, shaking yet another drop of blood to the ground. I such a situation, there was only one thing she could do.
The Great and Powerful Trixie turned tail and fled.
“Who knew that the only crippling fear of Trixie’s stronger than the fear of losing, was that of her own blood?” Sweetie Bell mused aloud. Turning back to the audience, she took a deep bow and wlaked offstage.
“Sweetie!” shouted Rarity, rushing up to her sister. “I didn’t know you had grown so advanced at magic. In fact, I had never seen you do magic and didn’t know you could yet.”
“I can’t” was her simple reply. Scootaloo and Applebloom walked up beside her. “But I have friends, and friendship is better than magic.”
“Oh, Sweetie, you learnt all that? I’ve never been more proud!” All three of the crusaders rolled their eyes in unison, silently laughing at how much of a sucker her older sister was for moral lessons.
“Somepony learnt a moral lesson?” Pinkie said, landing the balloon beside the congregated audience. “This calls for a party!”
Before any of them could say anything, cake had already been brought out from somewhere in the balloon, and confetti and streams had burst forth from one of the weight bags on the balloon. Music was playing through the pipe voice amplification system that Applebloom had set up and used earlier.
“So, we beat Trixie” Scootaloo said. “Think we got our cutie marks?”
All three turned around in unison, only to have disappointed looks cross their faces.
“Ah well, we’ll just have to find something else dangerous to do tomorrow to try and earn our cutie marks”
The other crusaders nodded, before joining into the party.
