So.
I am now an EXTREMELY powerful being with a rage against all of pony-kind.
This can only end well for everypony, right?
Well, at least it’ll end well for me, and I don’t give two shits about everypony else… Let’s do this.
My name is Mathew. I’m a pony. A pegasus pony, to be exact. I have a slightly-darker-than-normal green and a silver mane. My cutie mark… well, it doesn’t exactly represent anything, so there’s no reason to go into detail.
Anyway, I wasn’t always where I am right now. I was only transported here about a year ago. It started like… Well… I don’t entirely remember. All I remember was that I used to have hands, feet, all those things. One day, I just woke up here as a pony. And, let’s just say, I wasn’t exactly a happy camper. I HATED the My Little Pony show with a deep, BURNING passion. To have woken up here in… what’s this place called again? Equiene? Sure, let’s go with that. I honestly can’t remember the name of this place for the life of me. I remember Earth, Mars, Jupiter, and stuff like that, but the god damn name of this pony place, I can’t remember, and frankly, I don’t give 2 and a half asses.
Anyway, I’ve been forced to live here for a year or so, as I’ve stated, and recently had to run into the Everfree Forest to escape those god damn ponies again. By the by, the only reason I remember the name of THIS place is because I end up coming here a lot to escape either that god damn pink pony, or any of the others that end up getting on my nerves. Mostly, it’s the pink one.
I digress.
Anywho, my latest trip in here to escape that pony resulted in my, shall we say, exploring a bit more as she followed me more and more each time. This particular time, she ended up following me for a while before chickening out. Anyway, as I continued on my path of evasion, I came across a cave. I needed somewhere to rest after all that running, so I decided to take full advantage of this opportunity. I walked in and just sat my pony-ass right down, making myself at home. I was tired from all the running, resulting in me almost falling asleep.
Almost.
Thank god I didn’t. If I had, I wouldn’t have heard the massive amounts of stomping coming from further in the cave. However… If I hadn’t, then I might not be in the amazing--albeit strange--situation that I’m currently in.
Getting off topic.
The stomping approached closer and closer, and I debated leaving the cave. Yes, you heard me right, debating. The reason I was debating is because I didn’t want to run out of here feeling like a complete fool if it just happened to be some small little critter that could do absolutely nothing to me.
Regardless, I decided to wait and see what it was. It turned out to be a miniature dragon. At first, I looked around it to see if I could find what was actually making the noises, but then I realized the little dragon had stopped, and so had the noises. The little dragon looked at me with a very confused face.
“How did you get in here?” He shouted at me.
“Erm… I walked in?” I replied, feeling quite strange needing to point this out to a small dragon.
“But… There’s an enchantment on this cave door that prevents anyone from being able to see or enter it!”
“Well, then glad that worked out for you, didn’t it?” I responded with a bit of a smirk.
“Although…” He suddenly took on a Thinker like pose. “I do suppose that they said that certain beings would be able to enter… And if one did, then I would have to grant them supernatural powers…”
Wait… what?
“Alright then,” he continued. “If I must give you powers for privacy, then so be it. ALAKADOOBY!” he shouted with great vigor, as a beam of light shot towards me. I flew backwards, straight out of the cave, into a tree, and was knocked unconscious.
Great start, eh?
Anyways, when I… woke up, for lack of a better term, there was a HUD of sorts in my field of view.
“What the…” I said to myself. Suddenly the entire thing jumped out of my eyeballs (literally, just without pain) and onto the space in front of me. There were buttons for me to press, such as “List Powers,” “Run Tutorial,” “Donate,” and “Exit.” I needed to process what I was seeing before me.
My first thought was “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”
I sure am a poet, aren’t I?
Anyway, after thinking it through a bit, I finally decided that I would go from top to bottom… skipping the Donate button, obviously, because I have no money. So, that means I was starting with the “List Powers” button.
I walked up to said button, and reached my hand out. When my hand got to it, it was stopped right where the glowing green box started. It didn’t stay green for long, however, because as soon as my hand touched said box, it turned yellow, and everything disappeared. Moments later, a list popped up, and this was what it had given me:
Spell NegationTelekinetically Enhanced Condition Frankensteinian Monster Physiology Spacial SlicingHeat Aversion Inducement
Naturally, I didn’t know what most of these were, but the names of them did give me an idea. But, since I couldn’t be sure, I had no choice but to select the “Back” option.
This, obviously enough, brought me back to the main menu. I then proceeded to select “Run Tutorial,” which when I did, brought me into a large clearing. I could still see another “Back” button off to the side, but other things were happening at the moment.
There was a ragdoll of a pony with no cutie mark, and no real discernable features about it… I guess that makes it a good test dummy ragdoll, I guess… I digress. There was text of some sort on the top of my field of view.
It read “Hello, and welcome to the Himal-I mean test course! This is where you will be taught how the powers that I have given you work! Now, time to make the choice of which you would like to learn first! Either you can go in order, or choose which ones you would like to use specifically.” At this point, another two boxes appeared in front of me with “In Order” and “Specific Power” on the labels. I needed to know how they all worked, so I might as well just do them in order… *tap* “You have selected In Order! Let’s begin, shall we?”
As soon as it was done saying that, the ragdoll pony in front of me spontaneously grew a horn. I stood there, not quite sure how to respond to the situation. After a few moments of… well, standing there looking like an idiot (what do you want me to do? There’s a ragdoll pony charging it’s laser at me.), the lazer pony finally did something other than stand there. Funnily enough, even though I was just making a joke about the laser, the ragdoll pony… didn’t fire a laser. Did I get your hopes up? Anyway, it did fire a ball of energy in my direction. It was moving pretty slow, but it was still going to get to me within the next couple seconds.
As the ball of energy approached, more text appeared above me saying “Just think about the energy not being there anymore.” I followed it’s direction, and as soon as the ball came into contact with me, it imploded on itself. Cool! More ragdoll ponies were appearing around me, and even above me. I guess the dragon had a thing for ponies. Either that or he just assumes they’re the only real things that I’ll come across that I’ll need to use these powers on… I guess that’s true as well. Regardless, They all fired a blast of energy on their own. All I had to do was think about it, and when they all formed around my body in a giant ball of light, they all disappeared. More text showed up saying “Good job! It appears you’ve mastered the Spell Negation power! Now to move on to the next: Telekinetically Enhanced Condition!” All the ragdoll ponies disappeared. The environment around me started to reform into a volcano type area. I looked down and the lava seemed to be rising.
“To use Telekinetically Enhanced Condition, think about yourself being able to run a lot faster, have higher stamina, etc.”
These all seem to involve thinking of some kind… Eh, I’m down with that. I proceeded to follow the text’s instructions. I thought about having high speed and stamina. I thought about being able to outrun the volcanic eruption. It felt strange. All I had to do was think about a certain condition to apply to myself and it happened. I felt like I could run a hundred miles in a minute. I’m not complaining, mind you, it just feels strange. I started to run out of the volcano, as the lava was starting to get close to where I was standing.
“WOAH!” I shouted as I was outside of the volcano in about 10 seconds. I looked back up at it as the lava started to pour out of the sides. “This is so cool!” I yelled. I ran around the volcano a bunch of times.
I noticed the lava was starting to pour over the top, so I turned away from the volcano and ran as fast as I could, which was pretty damn fast.
The feeling of being able to get as far as I could as fast as I was able to felt amazing… However, my glorious super sprint was forced to a stop when I noticed some more text.
“Now here’s another thing you can do: you can make yourself more durable, and thus harder to hurt with physical object such as spears. However, there IS a limit. You’re unable to make yourself FULLY invincible, in case you ever go completely nutso crazy and try to kill me, the guy who gave you these powers.” Well that was a bit of a bummer, but it made sense I guess. “Anyway, take out these guys by enhancing your strength, and try to not get hit by too many spears.” A bunch of boxes suddenly appeared in front of me as well as many ragdoll ponies that seemed to be moving on their own. They all had spears in their hooves, so I guess that’s what the guy was referring to. I thought about having harder skin, better combat capabilities, and better agility. I picked up many of the boxes and threw them all at as many of the ponies as I could, but there were still plenty around, and they were starting to throw their spears at me. I was backflipping and acrobatic-ing my way around most of them, but a few did impale themselves in my leg and such. I kept running around and punching the tar out of them, picking up a few corpses (they felt like sandbags) and throwing them at their friends along the way. My head was starting to hurt as the longer I went on enhancing as many of my abilities as I was, it was taking more and more focus. I guess that's another limit to my powers.
Eventually, all of the ragdolls were down and out. It was at this point I was starting to get a major migraine, and the spearing is my legs and arms weren’t helping any.
More text appeared. “Well, it appears you’ve beaten them all, but you’re head hurts. Have some fast-acting migraine pills.” A small tube filled with little capsules appeared in front of where I was sitting, along with a small bottle of water. Opening the tube, I thought about the two powers that I’ve already learned. I didn’t remember what the rest were, but if the first couple were this awesome, then I couldn’t wait to see the rest.
I popped the pills into my mouse and took a sip of water to wash them down my throat. As I swallowed, I tried to remember what the other three powers were, but my mind was drawing a blank. Then, I noticed that my migraine was gone. Man, he wasn’t kidding when he said fast acting.
More text followed that thought. “So you need to do something about those spears. Just think about your skin healing and pushing them out. It’s a good regeneration portion. However, keep in mind that you don’t have a bunch of fast-acting migraine pills on hand all the time, so you won’t be able to do this a lot.” Bah, more limitations. I proceeded to think about regeneration, and the spears-can you guess?-popped out of my skin and said skin closed right back up. Now then, time to find out about that third power.
“Next up is the Frankensteinian Monster Physiology.” Well. That doesn’t sound nearly as cool as the others… Frankenstein’s monster, eh? “This grants you the ability to transform into the creature known as Frankenstein’s Monster. It allows you to be immune to infections, diseases, any sort of contaminant, and pain in general. However, you can only stay as this creature for a limited time, unless there is a constant source of electricity nearby. You will also have a bit of a speed decrease due to being very large and heavy, and you may also possess an impulsive fear of fire. This one is self explanatory, so there’s no need to use it right at this very moment.” Huh, I guess I’m ok with that. I don’t really want to turn into a giant clunky pile of corpses molded into a humanoid form.
“Now then, power number four, Spacial Slicing. This one is easier understood by doing instead of explaining.” A box materialized in front of me. “Think about a pattern that you would like to see it make with it’s components, then draw out that pattern with your hand in the air, then cut your arm through it. If that’s too much work, think of a dark line on the box, and then slice your arm in it’s general direction.”
I proceeded to do the latter, due to being unable to think of a good pattern (I never was very good at art). I thought about a black line on the box, then moved my arm across the front of my body. Sadly, as I did so, I blinked, and missed the box being completely SPLIT IN HALF!
I gawked at the two perfect halves of the box… How in the world did I DO THAT? I tried it again on the of the smaller halves, this time opting to use a small circle instead of just a normal cut. I drew said circle in the air, sliced at it, and when I looked at the box itself, there was now a perfectly shaped hole in the center. What in the actual FUCK! THIS IS AWESOME!
“Limitations on this: You can only use it three times per day, and that’s including this. So, you’re now down to one. Good luck!”
As I finished reading that, I blinked, and I was no longer where I was previously, but rather back at the volcano, or more precisely, next to it. All the lava was still flowing down.
“Last power, Heat Aversion Inducement.” The lava was becoming uncomfortably close… I think my eyebrows were starting to singe. “Just observe what happens when someone is nearby you while there’s a heat source near you. This one is passive, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
Wow. First ability that didn’t require my thinking about something. I still didn’t exactly feel comfortable next to molten lava, but if I needed to be near a heat source, so be it.
A wild mobile pegasus dummy appeared! It tried to attack me with a bolt of magic, but I guess the passive power was working, because I barely felt a thing.
“You may now completely and utterly destroy this last training dummy with whichever of your powers you feel necessary.” Oh, a bit a freedom, eh? Not too much of a competition, though. I can’t use Spell Negation as an offensive attack, Frankensteinian Monster Physiology wasn’t good enough to me, Spacial Slicing I can only use one more time today, and Heat Aversion Inducement only makes my enemies weaker, so Telekinetically Enhanced Condition it is!
I thought about being able to punch a 100lb weight to the other side of the planet, and my power followed suit. I then proceeded to walk up to crazy horse dummy, and for a moment it almost looked scared. I better think of a quick one-liner, cause my headache was already starting to return…
“This is how much I care about you pieces of SHIT!” It wasn’t that great, but I needed to do something before my headache turned into a migraine. I wound up my arm, and punched that sucker right in the face. In the blink of an eye, he was gone.
“I am so going to enjoy this…” I stopped thinking about being uber-strong, and looked around for the “Back” button again. Found it!
I hit it, and looked back at the menu. The only other two options were “Donate” and “Exit,” and hell if I’m going to donate money I don’t have to someone that I don’t care all that much about. I mean, these powers are cool, but come on. I’m not spending hard-earned non-existent money on this stuff. I promptly pressed exit, and was brought back to the “real” world.
I looked up at the sky. It was almost midnight. I’m guessing that the Spacial Slicing resets at that time, so I made a quick decision to use up my last one real quick. I was still in the forest, so there shouldn’t be anything else here. I slashed the air, and PILES of trees in front of me fell over.
Oh yeah.
This will be FUN.
Author's Note
Please let me know of any errors and I shall rectify them post-haste. Also, please, constructive criticism please, and keep in mind that this is my first story.
