Swimmingly's Abomonationby SwimminglyChaptersGranpappy plays banned from equestria daily (comedy, random)When enough is truly enough (dark comedy, sex gore)Now all my shirts are dirtyROCKET originalJeffter 1 meet Jefflite spazkle + the adventures in the hospitalJefftachis adventures in jeffville + the breaking of Rainbow JEFFRevenge of Renboo the wiseNazimanSwimmingly does book reviews 1The small house on the hill (sad)Jefflogue Jefftachi in Jeffquestria 1 (comedy, crossover, anthro, random, human, mature)DistractionGranpappy plays banned from equestria daily (comedy, random)Granpappy plays banned from Equestria daily. "We need to keep doing, the vinyl scratch music is playing" Granpappy childishly After finally defeating rainbow dash he let out a guttural cry if victory. When he was just about to revive dat renboo poon he accidentally clicked on a different scene. He cried out in disbelief, his boyish laughs echoing around his mother basement, which I am in for some reason. The events that transpired in my time in Granpappy's basement shall be recorded in this journal in case I don't make it out alive. Granpappy hummed the theme song. Day 1: I can see it in his eyes, he is slowly becoming one with the poon. His refusal to accept fate is comparable to a crack addict needing crack. His obsession with dat renboo poon is the most frightening, he defatted the inglorious rain cloud race thing once before, but his stupidity caused him to change scene, so he has been desperately trying to regain the feeling. He had just deafened the game once again and is witnessing his prize, his favourite position is number 4 with renboo. His has been muttering vague phrases cementing my beleif that he is I obsessed with dat child sho poon. Note he even asked if the scarecrow was an available partner. Day 2: His anger towards mankind has increased ten fold, he is constantly playing the game trying to rekindle the fire in his loins. I'm not sure if he is aware that I am writing because if he did I would be surely dead. "I'm fucking aware, can you quote me please" the enraged neck beard screeched. His favourite moment thus far has been deflowering poor innocent fluttershy. I am scared because he wants to go on a research trip in the woods in Brazil. He finally come to terms with the apparent stupidity of his addiction to the world of banned from equestria daily. Day 3: He has abandoned his post for the last time, the watch commander has had enough, he is punishing the rest of the night watchmen for Granpappy's refusal to not be a dick. Day 4: The apocalypse hapended 3 years ago, first humanity ate tiger cats. Then the tiger cats ate the blue whales and now all of my shirts are dirty. Day 5: I have been living is space because Granpappy took over earth and killed all the anti pedophile spokespeople, so now on all the porn boards there is kiddy sex and foal con. Day 6: My time in equestria begins Day 8: Granpappy returned to his ways, he is stooped over a tiny screen in a poo smeared apartment in upper New York, his family has all but disowned him, because they cannot accept hai ways. So then trixie came up to Granpappy (Ivestanding him this whole so I know everything) And he immeduTly assumed he was going to transported to equestria, but infact trixie was asking him if he new me and if I was single or nit. After also me small talk she send me to equestria but Granpappy grabbed shoe, because he is hopelessly obsessed with dat child show poon. Granpappy first act wa to find Big Mac and ask him got sexual favours, he then cheated and had his colon ruptured. He is frustrated over the in correctness of the finishing animations in banned from eqd. Granpappy decides to watch the show so he can get to know the poons personalities, so he captured me and forced me to watch with him Granpappy's studies of technicolor ponies and friendship on the category of sexual relations Or Fundemantaliam . When spike cane up on the screen, Granpappy's lust became apparent. His pants tightened and he started to grind his teeth so he would release too early. Especially because Granpappy relates to spikes lack of basic spelling. I have been accused of being nightmare moon, his judgement and grip on reality is slipping.... When enough is truly enough (dark comedy, sex gore)Scootaloo-poo was fucking fed up with being a gay Poo, who couldn't even fly away. She could never fly away anyway, but before now she didn't need to. However things were different now. Ever since she got adopted by Poos and kissed Sweetiebelle and made love to applebloom. But the worst part was when she starred in that lesbian porn with Rainbow Dash. The good part was that she was immediately better off by living with Poo parents, not to mention her superior investment skills. But that didn't make up for the fact that toilets were harassing her constantly, and every single farmer pony was angry at her, and only her for being a lesbian. She was done with putting up with minor annoyances. She was gonna do something about it. This was why she was standing short over a freshly bloodied corpse, it's stomach was slashed open and much if it's innards were strewn across the stone basement. She had said an awesome one liner, but it was omitted. She didn't bother too clean up the body, as the room she was in was unknown to everyone but Her. It was the Ponyville orphanage for Pegasi. For her entire she had been the only resident, there wasn't even a care taker for her. The government had cut their funding because eh, their orphans no one cares. She had felt so good killing generifag McGee that she new that skipping the logical steps of telling someone about her problems and seeking help, and jumping straight to serial killer psycho was definitely the right choice. She thought the empty stone chamber 5 stories underground was very dul so she decorated it with stalker photos of Rainbow Dash, maybe her psychotic tendencies aren't as unexpected as originally expected. A few weeks passed, her need to kill reached it's peak after 36 days, when she knew she had to kill. She had stopped only so her next kill would be better. The time to kill was upon her once more. She wandered as she wondered about how to get someone into her dungeon is she could kill them them, the first one was a fluke. A sleepy janitor standing right next to door, she clubbed him over the head with a club, and dragged him into the depths. But that was a lucky coincidence there was way that there was going to be anyone as easy to subdue she thought to herself. When she got to the ominous stone entrance to the Pegasus orphanage, she saw a pony with no arms or legs. His name was Harold. So she rolled him down the creepy stairs, he was protesting the whole way down and attempting to bite her ankles. It was very funny. When they reached scootaloos stalker den, they were greater by the smell of dead pony. Harold was not impressed, he voiced his displeasure by yelling pseudo racist things about paganism. Scootaloo was all like lol. "Hey Harold, don't go anywhere now ya here" scootaloo said through her moustache. "You suck, take that moustache off gay Jew" Harold said unimpressed. "Noo imma kill you now Kay, it's gon be real fun" she said while sharpening a cinderblock with her magic. Weeks earlier scootaloo ascended to alicornyaness. "Whatcha gon do with dat dere brick lassy" Harold said clearly oblivious to his his impending mortality. Meanwhile Rainbow Dash was at home looking pictures of her friends nethers while clopping with a bottle or something up her ass. She was reinforcing the sterotyoe. The 300 soy cameras scootaloo had placed strategically for exactly a time like This. Back in teh orphanage. A beeping on her monitor informed her that rainbow dash was engaging in some self lovin. She quickly turned on her 352 inch tv, and saw the screen split into different views of renboos amazing body. Scootaloo was inspired to strap Harold down and fuck him in the ass, cus the authors bored. She ran to a side room in the came and came back with a strapon bigger than she. She jammed the massive hunk of rubber down Harold's defenseless asshole, this illicited a guttural groan from the door Matt stallion. His huge cock started to slowly rise and harden. After 2 hours of anal pounding Harold released his load and blacked out. Scootaloo took this as an opportunity to use her magi voice levitate the sharp cinderblock over the stallion head. When he woke up he was greeted by a falling cinderblock. SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAT. The blood flew all over everything npand scootaloo creamed her shorts. She decided to use her magic to summon Rainbow Dash. So she did. Renboo appeared before the orange psychos eyes. "Hey Beb wanna fwuuuuuuuuck" said scootaloo leaning against a bowling alley. "Shure thing love, lemme wing ya bum" renboo replied eagerly. Then they proceeded to engage in extremely graphic lesbian sex, involving many many fetishes. During the sex scootaloo was reminded of her past. When she was little, before she lived in the Pegasi bunker, she had lived with the circus. They travelled all over equestria, scootaloo handled knife throwing, because cliche. They made billions of bits by being the most ethnically diverse circus ever. There was a blue one and a red one and a green one and pink one and a yellow one. Scootaloo job was to throw knives at the audience which was okay cus they signed a waiver, this was all fun and games she enjoyed killing people. But one day her circus family all decided to die from weird things all of which were omitted, by the author. But she was framed and went to jail for sometime. It was fun she had a cage match with all the inmates, she was in a women's prison, and still someone managed to fuck all the girls in ass in the shower. See was so good at that she got promoted to warden, Her catchphrase was so well known and so feared it made the world die a little bit. "Assume the position" Now all my shirts are dirtyTwilight Sparkle was doing her laundry. ROCKET originalROCKET Bleed in your own light, dream of your own life Three small tears. One... Two... Three... Three small tears stained the parchment, three small tears rolled from her eye. Three small tears tear a hole in her fačade, revealing her inner truth. She wipes her eye and grabs her quill with her mouth. She prays she doesn't cry again, lest she ruin the parchment further. She starts to write: I'm sorry I'm so so sorry. I just I'm sorry. I just can't go on with my life. Please please don't blame yourselves, you didn't... She was crying again. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Seven pained tears splash on to the parchment, blotting the ink. Even as she is now that irritated her. She couldn't write anymore, she was trembling to much and this task was far to meaningful to write with her magic. She set the quill down and looked up at were she was, her old tower. The rooms were dark and dusty, she had insisted that nothing be touched when she was Ponyville, she lived there now. her tower had been forgotten. Lonely. It made her lonely it made her feel things she didn't want to, she rather anything but feel how she felt now. As if no one needed or wanted her. As if she could be locked up and forgotten and no one would look for her. As if she could be crying in the middle of a crowded room and be trampled. She felt ignored. She had managed to convince herself that she didn't need anyone and that she could make it just fine on her own, she'd always known that that wasn't true. Just thinking like that hurt. She realised she had stopped crying she wiped her eyes. And continued writing There's nothing you could've have done, please I don't blame you for anything, you have given me more in the few years I've known you than anyone else. You are my family, and I can't live my life without you. I can't live my life at all. I know me leaving you all like this isn't very loyal of me and me not telling you anything isn't very honest or kind, but please all you you have been so generous and filled my life with so much laughter. I have enjoyed my time with all of you so much, so much more than anything. I love you all please remember that I love you all and I can't stand leaving you like this but I can't stand my life any more, You won't understand but you need to try. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Please forgive me please I'm begging you. And to my number one assistant, you have always been there for me always, always willing to go along with whatever silly scheme I... She was balling her eyes out. She got away from the desk as not to ruin her letter further, she was crying so hard it hurt she couldn't cope with all the feeling and collapsed in the corner of her room. I miss me, I miss everything I'll never be, I torch my soul to show the world that I am Pure and deep inside my heart She dreamt of the stars and the moon, the sun the sky. And her friends. Her friends had become her life, she had never known how important friendship could be, But her friends had shared it's magic with her. She cried in her sleep. She cried until there were no more tears left to cry. She cried more. She cried until her eyes bled. She cried. She hoped that no one should ever have to cry like that, she prayed that none of her friends did so because of her. She hoped beyond hope that they wouldn't. She stopped crying. She stopped crying and slept. She slept for the next two days, her body and mind hibernating as not to deal with the pain, but the pain stayed. Her brain wanted her to wake up, but heart wanted her to sleep forever. To sleep through and sleep past all the pain. But her brain won. She woke up. She tried to stand, but she was tired. Tired from the pain of her life, tired from the pain in her heart and tired from the hunger. She tried again. And again. And again. And again. Until eventually she stood. She made her way over to the desk. She picked up her quill and started to write. I sure made some good excuses to you guys, I'm sorry for that but I couldn't have you looking for me. Back to my faithful assistant, you are like my own child and I would protect as you such, this is hard for both of us, I'd much rather you get looked after by someone else who can cope with life not a sad liar like me. I love you and I'm sorry. And to the princess please don't feel like this is you fault, I wanted to be isolated, because I had convinced myself that I liked being alone. Once again I'm sorry so sorry please forgive me. I love you all. Twilight sparkle With that she was done. She thought about her life, her delusion. The escape she had created so she could cope with it all, she had done a good job Six unnamed friends and an assistant a whole new town. She thought about the very tower she was in. It wasn't her private study tower, no it was a off limits with in a museum with a sleepy guard. She wandered what graduation would've felt like, she wondered what using magic would feel like. She wandered... If only that was her life. The moon is out, the stars invite, I think I'll leave tonight, Soon I'll find myself alone, To relax and fade away She made her way to the dirtiest and darkest corner of the room where a noose had been setup and a stool underneath. She climbed up. Slipped the noose around her neck. "I shall be free" Jeffter 1 meet Jefflite spazkle + the adventures in the hospitalJefflite spazkle woke up after having a furious clopping session the night before of the most attractive and handsome and well endowed anthropony of all time,just as she woke up pulled the 3.7 meters of baseball sized anal beads out her ass Jefftachi walked into her slit dungeon like a dragon, as in dragging his dick of the floor. Jefflite immediately got the floor and presented for jefftachi, Jefftachi who had been going though a dry spell of about 2 and a half hours eagerly accepted the invitation. To being able to decide which hole first used the shadowjefftentaclejeffsu and went tentacle mode on the bitch. After about 9 weeks (Jefftachis presence alone can completley sustain a person for ever) Jefftachi got bored and released his wave chakra into her. After the embarrassing trip to the hospital for jefflite, because all her internal organs were destroyed and she died a few times because of the pressure of the overwhelming chakra. She introduced herself "hi im jefflite spazkle I like sex and madturbation and porn and dick and pussy and dildos and anal and lesbian and being tied up and every fetishistic and every sexual. Jefflite spazkle had found a new object of sexual interest and obsession for her meaningless sex and masturbatorial sessions. Which were always. All Jefflite did was fuck herself of get fucked. After stealing everything of value (not because jefftachi was poor, no one of his hairs is worth 50000000% of the economy, he steals stuff so he can eat it in front of needy children, while he's fucking the hottest and most buxome of babes) he walked trough the door without opening it, cus come on its jefftachi. After he came out of the room, all the female nurses were bending over with the nether regions pointing to the brave jefftachi, who at this time wasn't wearing any clothes. "YES MY JEFF BLOODEDNESS IS READY JEFF JEFF JEFF JEFF YOOOOOOOOUTH" he exploded youth fully. "Jeff style, secret ninja art ultimate jeffsu, sex style youthful jeffhood expansion pussy magnet, jeffdori jeffhood variant 8 jeffgrams 254 Jeff's ALMIGHTY JEFF 8 gates of JEFF primary jefflotus jeffhood multiplication jeffsu," about a thousand jefftachi appeared and each jefftachi clones' dick was like 2 metres long and there was like 9 dicks for each clones and they were vibrating, on fire and each dick had a pair of boobs on it. There was like 15 nurses, this was going to be along night. I bet you thought I wasn't going to go into detail. WELL YOURE FUCKING WRONG KAY. The battle went on for about 15 hours, in the end only 1 nurse made it out alive, don't get me wrong the nurses who died died of pleasure overdose, so it wasn't that bad. The jefftachi clones were plowing away, each of them shoving their 9 monster serpentine dicks up a angle crevice, a crevice shared by 200 other jefftachi clones. For the nurses it was the most amazing things the nurses have experienced, but to jefftachi it was about 20000797423465444321% less pleasurable than looking at the mirror. After it was finished he ate the other nurses chakras, he left, while still naked. Jefftachis adventures in jeffville + the breaking of Rainbow JEFFThe reason why everything has JEFF in it is because jefftachi is so badass and so sexy it inspires everyone to change history and to name everything after him. After an hour of fapping about in jeffville, he walked out yo a field or something. He saw another wave of rabid women chasing after him, so he used his penis like a baseball bat at killed them all. After walking lttle bit further he saw a sign it was written in a different language, but jefftachi used his sharinjeff to analyse it. The sign read sweet apple Jeff's. "WELL THIS IS HOING YO BE FUCKING BORING BUT FUN" he youthed sarcastically to everyone. As he leapt youth fully through the fields of JEFF with jphis prized JEFF hood flying about gaily he saw a red male pony "EEYUP" the red pony taunted gayley Jefftachi dodged the taunt because he saw it coming because he fucking jefftachi. And his sharinjeff was so advanced it could see years in the future, so he new this would happen when he was fuvking Jefflite. Revenge of Renboo the wiseRevenge of Renboo the Wise. The sunny sky was being annoying and fat to all the ponies in Ponyville. The only sound was that of bottles and trash being throw at the luminous faggot in the sky. The swag sales pony had just arrived, he was wearing his anti-sunbeingafaggot-shades. All the ponies wandered around looking at his ware. Singular. He only sold obey shirts. In the distance Renboo the white watched with disgust, she saw all of the shirts with weed or derogatory phrases on them, all the hats with weed on them, and even some already wearing obey merch. She knew that something had to be done, and no one but she was capable. She must stop the SWAGAPOCALYPSE! MEANWHILE Twilight potter and frodo-shy were having some lunch at the local swag-Donald's, both wearing obey shirts and dope hats. On a normal day they may have been ridiculed for their stupid hats but today they weren't. Everyone was wearing them. "Gee Frodo-Shy I sure hope we can gather all the horcruxes so we can get into doom mountain and destroy the one ring before the empire takes over" Twilight potter said through a mouthful. "Me to, but I miss...um Spikewise he and me shared many meaningful moments" Frodo-Shy reminisced. Just then rainbow skywalker and applejack sparrow wondered by. "Look Applejack more traitors to the non-named after a fantasy novel/movie character clan" seethed Rainbow skywalker. Applejack sparrow "hmmphd" with disgust. And with that they were gone. MEANWHILE The skies cracked and split with lightning as the wind howled. A noise louder than sound. Then nothing. In the midst of the turmoil blast marks from lighting strikes covered the flat ground. A body lay in the untouched centre. Special Agent. Dale Cooper. Pinkie Bateman and Rarity Scherbatsky were off in a field, they were romancipating. They were doing that gross thing that no-one likes were you shovel cake into the others face. No sooner had pinkie broken of her piece that a bulldozer came seemingly out of nowhere and killed them both. NazimanThe day the nazi death man came to Ponyville. This one time Twilight Sparkle was asleep in bed but suddenly she woke up, still covered in sweat from having sex with with trees. "Gee I'm all sweaty still from having sex with trees" exclaimed the stoic robust and all around statuesque pony "I best have a sexy shower with my Antonio Manederas Lifesize blow up sex doll, what could possibly go wrong" Just then the nazi death man teleported into Ponyville and was throwing gas chambers at everyone, the pones thought it was rather quaint and laughed until they were crushed by the ovens of racial injustice. Twilight Sparkle saw all this is inside her blowup dolls butt, because she was practicing the rusty trombone because she's cool. Suddenly as if by magic Antonio came to life by Twilights magic. Suddenly as if by magic also Rainbow Dash was punching holes through abortion clinics because she was pro-life, she was also eating newborn Babies while worshipping unborn babies because conservatives are cool like that. One of the deboned freshly born child's wasn't deboned properly and she choked and died.. Rainbow Dash got over that and went home. Just then suddenly as if by magic some newfag named Alfonso leaqas Morelia luison triberdaeras factiul aresto Mephistopheles asshat Leonardo capri McGee erupted out of the NazI mans guns and screamed. "I like filler when I watched my anime, it's better than the stuff from the comics, and dubbed is wAy better ser-" he was immeduTly shot by everyone he cared about, right in his face, including Naziman. Naziman didn't let the loss of his brother affect him too much, plus he had a guaranteed way of dealing with stress. He grabbed a Jewish pony a threw them at the world hay centre. Just then as if by extreme meta and enraged American comes to life and bigots. "Hey my unborn son died in when the Hindus bombed 9/11, I wouldn't of cared if he was born but because I'm a conservative redneck I care that a foetus died, so I gave India the death penalty, not to mention I died during the attacks" "No you didn't shut up" screamed some guy. The buildings fell and squashed them both. Just then a conspiracy theorist jumbled and then jumped out of the wreckage of the 11/9 bombs. "Huzzah the Jews blew up 9/11 I knew it because jet fuel doesn't bu-" He was immediately shot by everyone he ever cared about including NaZiman. Just then fluttershy was being a dominatrix to the princesses and because her dom style was naziesque she had a nazi hat on. She got the urge to make pizza, so she did. It was very tasty. But everyone got a piece. Except Naziman. Applejack Pinkie Pie Rarity were all on the other side of equestria in china fitting a horde of black KKK nazi chinamen with aids who were gay (the chinamen weren't gay, their aids were) Just then as if by faggotry Rarity grew an inch or two and became a worm. This startled everyone including the nazis and her friends. Who all died painfully from disentry it was gross. But then as if by medicine rariworm cured them with medicine. It was magical pot that seemed magical because it was magical " hey Guis eat this magical pot that seemed magical when I bought it because it was magically magic, but it's still magic it at least seems to be magic" screamed the mysterious magic man mysteriously with and air of mic. Soon to be freaked out bass players all banded together in a basement bea use bass players are assholes with no musical talent, trust me I am one, they were all worried because everyone was catching in to how little they did. However their fagatronics were short lived, as Twilight Sparkle flew in with her earls following behind. "Oi, you guys suck srsly bass, like lol what the eff is that some kind of fish" Twilight texted all the bassists even though she was in the same room. All the faggyle bassists had a big soppy cry and drank some poisoned kool aid and died. Meanwhile NaZiman and Antonio Manederas were killing everyone with space between the bits on a comb, however as by faith Jesus Christyfuck who isn't the poster boy from Christianity but his close friend popped up. "Hi guys what're u up 2 m8t" Mr Christyfuck sed thru a blow torch. "Were jus killing evey1 cus were cool like that trysts" said some guy named Geronimo however as if by fate, some girl named fate pooed on Geronimo and he dies painfully from disentry. Back in Ponyville the mayor and the princesses were having a tea party and talking about boys cus they're cool like that. When suddenly a flash mob/awards ceremony/funeral/christening exploded killing everyone inside including nazimans unborn octopus child. "Nooooooooooooo fag died y y y on no p" Nazimans freshly born deboned child screamed. Naziman ate his newly deboned freshly born son. Much to the queens dismay Twilight Sparkle had teleported into her basement and was in the process of throwing seeds all over her floor and peeing them, however they grey very rapidly as if by magic but it was because of twilights magic. Naziman caught onto the queens dismay and flew there with Antonio and mr Christyfuck whilst throwing adds for the Mormon 9/11 Buddhist convention and wine tasting. Everyone was excited to gi to the meeting especially since Naziman would be there. When suddenly they all died. All the mane characters were all grouped up in a bin smoking crack and playing cards with all the bones from the deboned fresh children. When suddenly a bunch if enraged soccer mums with wings all shat in the bin, but it was too late because twilight had died from toenail cancer. Her funeral was very sad and everyone cried even Naziman and Antonio. Mr Christyfuck couldn't cry because he was delivering the service it was full of fun and games with candy and children. But then suddenly and finally they died from boredom except Naziman because he killed them with his laser gun. Swimmingly does book reviews 1Everyone knows of the book called "The fault in our stars" Ehh it's pretty good The small house on the hill (sad)She hated it, more than anything. She hated it. She hated it for what it was, she hated it because she could never accept it. Loneliness, isolation and abandonment. She had been forgotten. She hated it, more than anything. She hated it. She hated it for what it was, she hated because it was all too familiar. Loneliness, isolation and abandonment. She had been rejected. The Wonderbolts Equestrias' finest aerial team, the best of the best. The sight of them flying in formation was truly a sight to behold, it was inspirational. Especially to a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow mane. When she was very young she had seen them fly overhead, she new that she would join them one day. So she had dedicated herself to training completely, not a single spare moment was spent otherwise. All the training paid off, her skill at flying ultimately led to her cutie mark appearing on her flank. But she didn't stop training, she doubled her efforts and graduated with flying colors from flight school. The weeks following her graduation she was bombarded with high paying jobs from ponies who had heard of her talent at flying, but all these jobs were too time consuming. She would never get any time to practice, she had to gratefully decline all of these jobs. She was seriously considering taking a non flying job with few hours so she could train, when she received a letter from her friend Fluttershy. Fluttershy had moved to Ponyville not long after Rainbow had gotten her cutie mark, she had embraced her talent for animals and was spending her time there as a animal handler. In the letter she mentioned a position in the Ponyville weather patrol, which was much less dedicated than cloudsdale's. She thought it through and decided it was the perfect job, and after all she hadn't seen Fluttershy for a few years at least. She took the next few weeks to get affairs in order, said goodbyes to friends, withdraw all her money from the bank and she spoke with some cloud builders. She asked the builders if the could build her a cloud home in the skies of Ponyville, they were more than happy to. When she finally arrived at Ponyville she knew things could only go up from where she was, within two months she was manager of the weather control. She had also met some great ponies like Pinkie Pie and Applejack. The next few years had gone by. Jefflogue Jefftachi in Jeffquestria 1 (comedy, crossover, anthro, random, human, mature)this is a very vague naruto crossover, very vaguely. It's not canon so don't yell at me for how incorrect it is. I am fully aware of it. It was a warm sunny afternoon In the land of Jeff's hidden village, the village hidden in the Jeff. It was a peaceful day, with most people resting or going out on the Jeff for some fun. But many of the villages jeffnobi were training their various jeffsu's, for instance sajeffske was practicing his gayjeffsu. During his training his super masculine, super hot, super smart, super well endowed (22 inches), super powerful, super attractive, super nice with just the right amount of brooding emo ness to be attractive, Jefftachi popped out of nowhere.he said "sajeffske yo bitch wanna naked wrestle in the mud" sajeffske, being completley head over heels in love with any thing that had a dick, said yes. When they got to the mud hole and started wrestling Jefftachi accidentally activated his jeffekyo swagingan, this some how made a portal or some shit. Idk use you're imagination. Jefftachi jumped dick first into it, sajeffske yelled "take me with oh big dicked one" Jefftachi replied by impaling sajeffske through the face with his razor sharp manhood. Sajeffske dided the way he always to. When Jefftachi awoke he found himself lying Ike first in a fucking tree library, who the fuck builds a library in a tree. He woke up and looked down at his lil Jefftachi to see it was several times larger and look like a horse cock. Jefftachi thought "yo where da fuck is I at igot horse willy which I'm totally fine with but sirously". He used his signature jeffsu, the holy vanity inspiring mirror summoning jutsu. He summoned the mirror and saw his face. Instead of beautifully tanned skin several chiseled jaws, he found a handsome furry horse like anthro face staring back at him. "This,now this I can work with" he screamed swagishly. DistractionFriends, Fantasies and fairy tails or Distraction My name is princess twilight sparkle, I was princess celestia's royal protege until my coronation, I live in the golden oaks library in Ponyville with my dragon spike and most of all I have friends. Life is good for me, I live a library full of fascinating books and I have the best little assistant to help with chores. I have a whole heap of friends and a few really good friends who all live in town with me, they were the first friends that I ever made. Before I came to Ponyville I lived all by myself in a tower, with no one but my assistant. That didn't bother me one bit because I thought friends were pointless, just simple distractions from the true purpose of life, learning. Once I moved to Ponyville I saw the error of my ways, I saw how comparatively empty my life was before, I realised just how important friendship was. I would do anything for my friends and I know they would do anything for me. Not only have my friendships not distracted me from my learning, they've in fact helped with it. I discovered a lot about friendship itself, my friends themselves and me myself Late at night when I'm lying happily in my bed, knowing that the days duty was finished and waiting for the rythmic ebb and flow of sleep to wash over me, I like to think about my friends. There's Pinkie Pie the hyper energetic party planning baker, she believes that her purpose in life is to make everyone else happy. She is suffice it to say a very very nice pony to be around. Sure she can be a tad intense at times, but you always know that she will be there for you when you need it. Not to mention she throws great parties. Rainbow Dash, the loyal but brash Pegasus
Granpappy plays banned from equestria daily (comedy, random)Granpappy plays banned from Equestria daily. "We need to keep doing, the vinyl scratch music is playing" Granpappy childishly After finally defeating rainbow dash he let out a guttural cry if victory. When he was just about to revive dat renboo poon he accidentally clicked on a different scene. He cried out in disbelief, his boyish laughs echoing around his mother basement, which I am in for some reason. The events that transpired in my time in Granpappy's basement shall be recorded in this journal in case I don't make it out alive. Granpappy hummed the theme song. Day 1: I can see it in his eyes, he is slowly becoming one with the poon. His refusal to accept fate is comparable to a crack addict needing crack. His obsession with dat renboo poon is the most frightening, he defatted the inglorious rain cloud race thing once before, but his stupidity caused him to change scene, so he has been desperately trying to regain the feeling. He had just deafened the game once again and is witnessing his prize, his favourite position is number 4 with renboo. His has been muttering vague phrases cementing my beleif that he is I obsessed with dat child sho poon. Note he even asked if the scarecrow was an available partner. Day 2: His anger towards mankind has increased ten fold, he is constantly playing the game trying to rekindle the fire in his loins. I'm not sure if he is aware that I am writing because if he did I would be surely dead. "I'm fucking aware, can you quote me please" the enraged neck beard screeched. His favourite moment thus far has been deflowering poor innocent fluttershy. I am scared because he wants to go on a research trip in the woods in Brazil. He finally come to terms with the apparent stupidity of his addiction to the world of banned from equestria daily. Day 3: He has abandoned his post for the last time, the watch commander has had enough, he is punishing the rest of the night watchmen for Granpappy's refusal to not be a dick. Day 4: The apocalypse hapended 3 years ago, first humanity ate tiger cats. Then the tiger cats ate the blue whales and now all of my shirts are dirty. Day 5: I have been living is space because Granpappy took over earth and killed all the anti pedophile spokespeople, so now on all the porn boards there is kiddy sex and foal con. Day 6: My time in equestria begins Day 8: Granpappy returned to his ways, he is stooped over a tiny screen in a poo smeared apartment in upper New York, his family has all but disowned him, because they cannot accept hai ways. So then trixie came up to Granpappy (Ivestanding him this whole so I know everything) And he immeduTly assumed he was going to transported to equestria, but infact trixie was asking him if he new me and if I was single or nit. After also me small talk she send me to equestria but Granpappy grabbed shoe, because he is hopelessly obsessed with dat child show poon. Granpappy first act wa to find Big Mac and ask him got sexual favours, he then cheated and had his colon ruptured. He is frustrated over the in correctness of the finishing animations in banned from eqd. Granpappy decides to watch the show so he can get to know the poons personalities, so he captured me and forced me to watch with him Granpappy's studies of technicolor ponies and friendship on the category of sexual relations Or Fundemantaliam . When spike cane up on the screen, Granpappy's lust became apparent. His pants tightened and he started to grind his teeth so he would release too early. Especially because Granpappy relates to spikes lack of basic spelling. I have been accused of being nightmare moon, his judgement and grip on reality is slipping....
When enough is truly enough (dark comedy, sex gore)Scootaloo-poo was fucking fed up with being a gay Poo, who couldn't even fly away. She could never fly away anyway, but before now she didn't need to. However things were different now. Ever since she got adopted by Poos and kissed Sweetiebelle and made love to applebloom. But the worst part was when she starred in that lesbian porn with Rainbow Dash. The good part was that she was immediately better off by living with Poo parents, not to mention her superior investment skills. But that didn't make up for the fact that toilets were harassing her constantly, and every single farmer pony was angry at her, and only her for being a lesbian. She was done with putting up with minor annoyances. She was gonna do something about it. This was why she was standing short over a freshly bloodied corpse, it's stomach was slashed open and much if it's innards were strewn across the stone basement. She had said an awesome one liner, but it was omitted. She didn't bother too clean up the body, as the room she was in was unknown to everyone but Her. It was the Ponyville orphanage for Pegasi. For her entire she had been the only resident, there wasn't even a care taker for her. The government had cut their funding because eh, their orphans no one cares. She had felt so good killing generifag McGee that she new that skipping the logical steps of telling someone about her problems and seeking help, and jumping straight to serial killer psycho was definitely the right choice. She thought the empty stone chamber 5 stories underground was very dul so she decorated it with stalker photos of Rainbow Dash, maybe her psychotic tendencies aren't as unexpected as originally expected. A few weeks passed, her need to kill reached it's peak after 36 days, when she knew she had to kill. She had stopped only so her next kill would be better. The time to kill was upon her once more. She wandered as she wondered about how to get someone into her dungeon is she could kill them them, the first one was a fluke. A sleepy janitor standing right next to door, she clubbed him over the head with a club, and dragged him into the depths. But that was a lucky coincidence there was way that there was going to be anyone as easy to subdue she thought to herself. When she got to the ominous stone entrance to the Pegasus orphanage, she saw a pony with no arms or legs. His name was Harold. So she rolled him down the creepy stairs, he was protesting the whole way down and attempting to bite her ankles. It was very funny. When they reached scootaloos stalker den, they were greater by the smell of dead pony. Harold was not impressed, he voiced his displeasure by yelling pseudo racist things about paganism. Scootaloo was all like lol. "Hey Harold, don't go anywhere now ya here" scootaloo said through her moustache. "You suck, take that moustache off gay Jew" Harold said unimpressed. "Noo imma kill you now Kay, it's gon be real fun" she said while sharpening a cinderblock with her magic. Weeks earlier scootaloo ascended to alicornyaness. "Whatcha gon do with dat dere brick lassy" Harold said clearly oblivious to his his impending mortality. Meanwhile Rainbow Dash was at home looking pictures of her friends nethers while clopping with a bottle or something up her ass. She was reinforcing the sterotyoe. The 300 soy cameras scootaloo had placed strategically for exactly a time like This. Back in teh orphanage. A beeping on her monitor informed her that rainbow dash was engaging in some self lovin. She quickly turned on her 352 inch tv, and saw the screen split into different views of renboos amazing body. Scootaloo was inspired to strap Harold down and fuck him in the ass, cus the authors bored. She ran to a side room in the came and came back with a strapon bigger than she. She jammed the massive hunk of rubber down Harold's defenseless asshole, this illicited a guttural groan from the door Matt stallion. His huge cock started to slowly rise and harden. After 2 hours of anal pounding Harold released his load and blacked out. Scootaloo took this as an opportunity to use her magi voice levitate the sharp cinderblock over the stallion head. When he woke up he was greeted by a falling cinderblock. SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAT. The blood flew all over everything npand scootaloo creamed her shorts. She decided to use her magic to summon Rainbow Dash. So she did. Renboo appeared before the orange psychos eyes. "Hey Beb wanna fwuuuuuuuuck" said scootaloo leaning against a bowling alley. "Shure thing love, lemme wing ya bum" renboo replied eagerly. Then they proceeded to engage in extremely graphic lesbian sex, involving many many fetishes. During the sex scootaloo was reminded of her past. When she was little, before she lived in the Pegasi bunker, she had lived with the circus. They travelled all over equestria, scootaloo handled knife throwing, because cliche. They made billions of bits by being the most ethnically diverse circus ever. There was a blue one and a red one and a green one and pink one and a yellow one. Scootaloo job was to throw knives at the audience which was okay cus they signed a waiver, this was all fun and games she enjoyed killing people. But one day her circus family all decided to die from weird things all of which were omitted, by the author. But she was framed and went to jail for sometime. It was fun she had a cage match with all the inmates, she was in a women's prison, and still someone managed to fuck all the girls in ass in the shower. See was so good at that she got promoted to warden, Her catchphrase was so well known and so feared it made the world die a little bit. "Assume the position"
ROCKET originalROCKET Bleed in your own light, dream of your own life Three small tears. One... Two... Three... Three small tears stained the parchment, three small tears rolled from her eye. Three small tears tear a hole in her fačade, revealing her inner truth. She wipes her eye and grabs her quill with her mouth. She prays she doesn't cry again, lest she ruin the parchment further. She starts to write: I'm sorry I'm so so sorry. I just I'm sorry. I just can't go on with my life. Please please don't blame yourselves, you didn't... She was crying again. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Seven pained tears splash on to the parchment, blotting the ink. Even as she is now that irritated her. She couldn't write anymore, she was trembling to much and this task was far to meaningful to write with her magic. She set the quill down and looked up at were she was, her old tower. The rooms were dark and dusty, she had insisted that nothing be touched when she was Ponyville, she lived there now. her tower had been forgotten. Lonely. It made her lonely it made her feel things she didn't want to, she rather anything but feel how she felt now. As if no one needed or wanted her. As if she could be locked up and forgotten and no one would look for her. As if she could be crying in the middle of a crowded room and be trampled. She felt ignored. She had managed to convince herself that she didn't need anyone and that she could make it just fine on her own, she'd always known that that wasn't true. Just thinking like that hurt. She realised she had stopped crying she wiped her eyes. And continued writing There's nothing you could've have done, please I don't blame you for anything, you have given me more in the few years I've known you than anyone else. You are my family, and I can't live my life without you. I can't live my life at all. I know me leaving you all like this isn't very loyal of me and me not telling you anything isn't very honest or kind, but please all you you have been so generous and filled my life with so much laughter. I have enjoyed my time with all of you so much, so much more than anything. I love you all please remember that I love you all and I can't stand leaving you like this but I can't stand my life any more, You won't understand but you need to try. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Please forgive me please I'm begging you. And to my number one assistant, you have always been there for me always, always willing to go along with whatever silly scheme I... She was balling her eyes out. She got away from the desk as not to ruin her letter further, she was crying so hard it hurt she couldn't cope with all the feeling and collapsed in the corner of her room. I miss me, I miss everything I'll never be, I torch my soul to show the world that I am Pure and deep inside my heart She dreamt of the stars and the moon, the sun the sky. And her friends. Her friends had become her life, she had never known how important friendship could be, But her friends had shared it's magic with her. She cried in her sleep. She cried until there were no more tears left to cry. She cried more. She cried until her eyes bled. She cried. She hoped that no one should ever have to cry like that, she prayed that none of her friends did so because of her. She hoped beyond hope that they wouldn't. She stopped crying. She stopped crying and slept. She slept for the next two days, her body and mind hibernating as not to deal with the pain, but the pain stayed. Her brain wanted her to wake up, but heart wanted her to sleep forever. To sleep through and sleep past all the pain. But her brain won. She woke up. She tried to stand, but she was tired. Tired from the pain of her life, tired from the pain in her heart and tired from the hunger. She tried again. And again. And again. And again. Until eventually she stood. She made her way over to the desk. She picked up her quill and started to write. I sure made some good excuses to you guys, I'm sorry for that but I couldn't have you looking for me. Back to my faithful assistant, you are like my own child and I would protect as you such, this is hard for both of us, I'd much rather you get looked after by someone else who can cope with life not a sad liar like me. I love you and I'm sorry. And to the princess please don't feel like this is you fault, I wanted to be isolated, because I had convinced myself that I liked being alone. Once again I'm sorry so sorry please forgive me. I love you all. Twilight sparkle With that she was done. She thought about her life, her delusion. The escape she had created so she could cope with it all, she had done a good job Six unnamed friends and an assistant a whole new town. She thought about the very tower she was in. It wasn't her private study tower, no it was a off limits with in a museum with a sleepy guard. She wandered what graduation would've felt like, she wondered what using magic would feel like. She wandered... If only that was her life. The moon is out, the stars invite, I think I'll leave tonight, Soon I'll find myself alone, To relax and fade away She made her way to the dirtiest and darkest corner of the room where a noose had been setup and a stool underneath. She climbed up. Slipped the noose around her neck. "I shall be free"
Jeffter 1 meet Jefflite spazkle + the adventures in the hospitalJefflite spazkle woke up after having a furious clopping session the night before of the most attractive and handsome and well endowed anthropony of all time,just as she woke up pulled the 3.7 meters of baseball sized anal beads out her ass Jefftachi walked into her slit dungeon like a dragon, as in dragging his dick of the floor. Jefflite immediately got the floor and presented for jefftachi, Jefftachi who had been going though a dry spell of about 2 and a half hours eagerly accepted the invitation. To being able to decide which hole first used the shadowjefftentaclejeffsu and went tentacle mode on the bitch. After about 9 weeks (Jefftachis presence alone can completley sustain a person for ever) Jefftachi got bored and released his wave chakra into her. After the embarrassing trip to the hospital for jefflite, because all her internal organs were destroyed and she died a few times because of the pressure of the overwhelming chakra. She introduced herself "hi im jefflite spazkle I like sex and madturbation and porn and dick and pussy and dildos and anal and lesbian and being tied up and every fetishistic and every sexual. Jefflite spazkle had found a new object of sexual interest and obsession for her meaningless sex and masturbatorial sessions. Which were always. All Jefflite did was fuck herself of get fucked. After stealing everything of value (not because jefftachi was poor, no one of his hairs is worth 50000000% of the economy, he steals stuff so he can eat it in front of needy children, while he's fucking the hottest and most buxome of babes) he walked trough the door without opening it, cus come on its jefftachi. After he came out of the room, all the female nurses were bending over with the nether regions pointing to the brave jefftachi, who at this time wasn't wearing any clothes. "YES MY JEFF BLOODEDNESS IS READY JEFF JEFF JEFF JEFF YOOOOOOOOUTH" he exploded youth fully. "Jeff style, secret ninja art ultimate jeffsu, sex style youthful jeffhood expansion pussy magnet, jeffdori jeffhood variant 8 jeffgrams 254 Jeff's ALMIGHTY JEFF 8 gates of JEFF primary jefflotus jeffhood multiplication jeffsu," about a thousand jefftachi appeared and each jefftachi clones' dick was like 2 metres long and there was like 9 dicks for each clones and they were vibrating, on fire and each dick had a pair of boobs on it. There was like 15 nurses, this was going to be along night. I bet you thought I wasn't going to go into detail. WELL YOURE FUCKING WRONG KAY. The battle went on for about 15 hours, in the end only 1 nurse made it out alive, don't get me wrong the nurses who died died of pleasure overdose, so it wasn't that bad. The jefftachi clones were plowing away, each of them shoving their 9 monster serpentine dicks up a angle crevice, a crevice shared by 200 other jefftachi clones. For the nurses it was the most amazing things the nurses have experienced, but to jefftachi it was about 20000797423465444321% less pleasurable than looking at the mirror. After it was finished he ate the other nurses chakras, he left, while still naked.
Jefftachis adventures in jeffville + the breaking of Rainbow JEFFThe reason why everything has JEFF in it is because jefftachi is so badass and so sexy it inspires everyone to change history and to name everything after him. After an hour of fapping about in jeffville, he walked out yo a field or something. He saw another wave of rabid women chasing after him, so he used his penis like a baseball bat at killed them all. After walking lttle bit further he saw a sign it was written in a different language, but jefftachi used his sharinjeff to analyse it. The sign read sweet apple Jeff's. "WELL THIS IS HOING YO BE FUCKING BORING BUT FUN" he youthed sarcastically to everyone. As he leapt youth fully through the fields of JEFF with jphis prized JEFF hood flying about gaily he saw a red male pony "EEYUP" the red pony taunted gayley Jefftachi dodged the taunt because he saw it coming because he fucking jefftachi. And his sharinjeff was so advanced it could see years in the future, so he new this would happen when he was fuvking Jefflite.
Revenge of Renboo the wiseRevenge of Renboo the Wise. The sunny sky was being annoying and fat to all the ponies in Ponyville. The only sound was that of bottles and trash being throw at the luminous faggot in the sky. The swag sales pony had just arrived, he was wearing his anti-sunbeingafaggot-shades. All the ponies wandered around looking at his ware. Singular. He only sold obey shirts. In the distance Renboo the white watched with disgust, she saw all of the shirts with weed or derogatory phrases on them, all the hats with weed on them, and even some already wearing obey merch. She knew that something had to be done, and no one but she was capable. She must stop the SWAGAPOCALYPSE! MEANWHILE Twilight potter and frodo-shy were having some lunch at the local swag-Donald's, both wearing obey shirts and dope hats. On a normal day they may have been ridiculed for their stupid hats but today they weren't. Everyone was wearing them. "Gee Frodo-Shy I sure hope we can gather all the horcruxes so we can get into doom mountain and destroy the one ring before the empire takes over" Twilight potter said through a mouthful. "Me to, but I miss...um Spikewise he and me shared many meaningful moments" Frodo-Shy reminisced. Just then rainbow skywalker and applejack sparrow wondered by. "Look Applejack more traitors to the non-named after a fantasy novel/movie character clan" seethed Rainbow skywalker. Applejack sparrow "hmmphd" with disgust. And with that they were gone. MEANWHILE The skies cracked and split with lightning as the wind howled. A noise louder than sound. Then nothing. In the midst of the turmoil blast marks from lighting strikes covered the flat ground. A body lay in the untouched centre. Special Agent. Dale Cooper. Pinkie Bateman and Rarity Scherbatsky were off in a field, they were romancipating. They were doing that gross thing that no-one likes were you shovel cake into the others face. No sooner had pinkie broken of her piece that a bulldozer came seemingly out of nowhere and killed them both.
NazimanThe day the nazi death man came to Ponyville. This one time Twilight Sparkle was asleep in bed but suddenly she woke up, still covered in sweat from having sex with with trees. "Gee I'm all sweaty still from having sex with trees" exclaimed the stoic robust and all around statuesque pony "I best have a sexy shower with my Antonio Manederas Lifesize blow up sex doll, what could possibly go wrong" Just then the nazi death man teleported into Ponyville and was throwing gas chambers at everyone, the pones thought it was rather quaint and laughed until they were crushed by the ovens of racial injustice. Twilight Sparkle saw all this is inside her blowup dolls butt, because she was practicing the rusty trombone because she's cool. Suddenly as if by magic Antonio came to life by Twilights magic. Suddenly as if by magic also Rainbow Dash was punching holes through abortion clinics because she was pro-life, she was also eating newborn Babies while worshipping unborn babies because conservatives are cool like that. One of the deboned freshly born child's wasn't deboned properly and she choked and died.. Rainbow Dash got over that and went home. Just then suddenly as if by magic some newfag named Alfonso leaqas Morelia luison triberdaeras factiul aresto Mephistopheles asshat Leonardo capri McGee erupted out of the NazI mans guns and screamed. "I like filler when I watched my anime, it's better than the stuff from the comics, and dubbed is wAy better ser-" he was immeduTly shot by everyone he cared about, right in his face, including Naziman. Naziman didn't let the loss of his brother affect him too much, plus he had a guaranteed way of dealing with stress. He grabbed a Jewish pony a threw them at the world hay centre. Just then as if by extreme meta and enraged American comes to life and bigots. "Hey my unborn son died in when the Hindus bombed 9/11, I wouldn't of cared if he was born but because I'm a conservative redneck I care that a foetus died, so I gave India the death penalty, not to mention I died during the attacks" "No you didn't shut up" screamed some guy. The buildings fell and squashed them both. Just then a conspiracy theorist jumbled and then jumped out of the wreckage of the 11/9 bombs. "Huzzah the Jews blew up 9/11 I knew it because jet fuel doesn't bu-" He was immediately shot by everyone he ever cared about including NaZiman. Just then fluttershy was being a dominatrix to the princesses and because her dom style was naziesque she had a nazi hat on. She got the urge to make pizza, so she did. It was very tasty. But everyone got a piece. Except Naziman. Applejack Pinkie Pie Rarity were all on the other side of equestria in china fitting a horde of black KKK nazi chinamen with aids who were gay (the chinamen weren't gay, their aids were) Just then as if by faggotry Rarity grew an inch or two and became a worm. This startled everyone including the nazis and her friends. Who all died painfully from disentry it was gross. But then as if by medicine rariworm cured them with medicine. It was magical pot that seemed magical because it was magical " hey Guis eat this magical pot that seemed magical when I bought it because it was magically magic, but it's still magic it at least seems to be magic" screamed the mysterious magic man mysteriously with and air of mic. Soon to be freaked out bass players all banded together in a basement bea use bass players are assholes with no musical talent, trust me I am one, they were all worried because everyone was catching in to how little they did. However their fagatronics were short lived, as Twilight Sparkle flew in with her earls following behind. "Oi, you guys suck srsly bass, like lol what the eff is that some kind of fish" Twilight texted all the bassists even though she was in the same room. All the faggyle bassists had a big soppy cry and drank some poisoned kool aid and died. Meanwhile NaZiman and Antonio Manederas were killing everyone with space between the bits on a comb, however as by faith Jesus Christyfuck who isn't the poster boy from Christianity but his close friend popped up. "Hi guys what're u up 2 m8t" Mr Christyfuck sed thru a blow torch. "Were jus killing evey1 cus were cool like that trysts" said some guy named Geronimo however as if by fate, some girl named fate pooed on Geronimo and he dies painfully from disentry. Back in Ponyville the mayor and the princesses were having a tea party and talking about boys cus they're cool like that. When suddenly a flash mob/awards ceremony/funeral/christening exploded killing everyone inside including nazimans unborn octopus child. "Nooooooooooooo fag died y y y on no p" Nazimans freshly born deboned child screamed. Naziman ate his newly deboned freshly born son. Much to the queens dismay Twilight Sparkle had teleported into her basement and was in the process of throwing seeds all over her floor and peeing them, however they grey very rapidly as if by magic but it was because of twilights magic. Naziman caught onto the queens dismay and flew there with Antonio and mr Christyfuck whilst throwing adds for the Mormon 9/11 Buddhist convention and wine tasting. Everyone was excited to gi to the meeting especially since Naziman would be there. When suddenly they all died. All the mane characters were all grouped up in a bin smoking crack and playing cards with all the bones from the deboned fresh children. When suddenly a bunch if enraged soccer mums with wings all shat in the bin, but it was too late because twilight had died from toenail cancer. Her funeral was very sad and everyone cried even Naziman and Antonio. Mr Christyfuck couldn't cry because he was delivering the service it was full of fun and games with candy and children. But then suddenly and finally they died from boredom except Naziman because he killed them with his laser gun.
Swimmingly does book reviews 1Everyone knows of the book called "The fault in our stars" Ehh it's pretty good
The small house on the hill (sad)She hated it, more than anything. She hated it. She hated it for what it was, she hated it because she could never accept it. Loneliness, isolation and abandonment. She had been forgotten. She hated it, more than anything. She hated it. She hated it for what it was, she hated because it was all too familiar. Loneliness, isolation and abandonment. She had been rejected. The Wonderbolts Equestrias' finest aerial team, the best of the best. The sight of them flying in formation was truly a sight to behold, it was inspirational. Especially to a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow mane. When she was very young she had seen them fly overhead, she new that she would join them one day. So she had dedicated herself to training completely, not a single spare moment was spent otherwise. All the training paid off, her skill at flying ultimately led to her cutie mark appearing on her flank. But she didn't stop training, she doubled her efforts and graduated with flying colors from flight school. The weeks following her graduation she was bombarded with high paying jobs from ponies who had heard of her talent at flying, but all these jobs were too time consuming. She would never get any time to practice, she had to gratefully decline all of these jobs. She was seriously considering taking a non flying job with few hours so she could train, when she received a letter from her friend Fluttershy. Fluttershy had moved to Ponyville not long after Rainbow had gotten her cutie mark, she had embraced her talent for animals and was spending her time there as a animal handler. In the letter she mentioned a position in the Ponyville weather patrol, which was much less dedicated than cloudsdale's. She thought it through and decided it was the perfect job, and after all she hadn't seen Fluttershy for a few years at least. She took the next few weeks to get affairs in order, said goodbyes to friends, withdraw all her money from the bank and she spoke with some cloud builders. She asked the builders if the could build her a cloud home in the skies of Ponyville, they were more than happy to. When she finally arrived at Ponyville she knew things could only go up from where she was, within two months she was manager of the weather control. She had also met some great ponies like Pinkie Pie and Applejack. The next few years had gone by.
Jefflogue Jefftachi in Jeffquestria 1 (comedy, crossover, anthro, random, human, mature)this is a very vague naruto crossover, very vaguely. It's not canon so don't yell at me for how incorrect it is. I am fully aware of it. It was a warm sunny afternoon In the land of Jeff's hidden village, the village hidden in the Jeff. It was a peaceful day, with most people resting or going out on the Jeff for some fun. But many of the villages jeffnobi were training their various jeffsu's, for instance sajeffske was practicing his gayjeffsu. During his training his super masculine, super hot, super smart, super well endowed (22 inches), super powerful, super attractive, super nice with just the right amount of brooding emo ness to be attractive, Jefftachi popped out of nowhere.he said "sajeffske yo bitch wanna naked wrestle in the mud" sajeffske, being completley head over heels in love with any thing that had a dick, said yes. When they got to the mud hole and started wrestling Jefftachi accidentally activated his jeffekyo swagingan, this some how made a portal or some shit. Idk use you're imagination. Jefftachi jumped dick first into it, sajeffske yelled "take me with oh big dicked one" Jefftachi replied by impaling sajeffske through the face with his razor sharp manhood. Sajeffske dided the way he always to. When Jefftachi awoke he found himself lying Ike first in a fucking tree library, who the fuck builds a library in a tree. He woke up and looked down at his lil Jefftachi to see it was several times larger and look like a horse cock. Jefftachi thought "yo where da fuck is I at igot horse willy which I'm totally fine with but sirously". He used his signature jeffsu, the holy vanity inspiring mirror summoning jutsu. He summoned the mirror and saw his face. Instead of beautifully tanned skin several chiseled jaws, he found a handsome furry horse like anthro face staring back at him. "This,now this I can work with" he screamed swagishly.
DistractionFriends, Fantasies and fairy tails or Distraction My name is princess twilight sparkle, I was princess celestia's royal protege until my coronation, I live in the golden oaks library in Ponyville with my dragon spike and most of all I have friends. Life is good for me, I live a library full of fascinating books and I have the best little assistant to help with chores. I have a whole heap of friends and a few really good friends who all live in town with me, they were the first friends that I ever made. Before I came to Ponyville I lived all by myself in a tower, with no one but my assistant. That didn't bother me one bit because I thought friends were pointless, just simple distractions from the true purpose of life, learning. Once I moved to Ponyville I saw the error of my ways, I saw how comparatively empty my life was before, I realised just how important friendship was. I would do anything for my friends and I know they would do anything for me. Not only have my friendships not distracted me from my learning, they've in fact helped with it. I discovered a lot about friendship itself, my friends themselves and me myself Late at night when I'm lying happily in my bed, knowing that the days duty was finished and waiting for the rythmic ebb and flow of sleep to wash over me, I like to think about my friends. There's Pinkie Pie the hyper energetic party planning baker, she believes that her purpose in life is to make everyone else happy. She is suffice it to say a very very nice pony to be around. Sure she can be a tad intense at times, but you always know that she will be there for you when you need it. Not to mention she throws great parties. Rainbow Dash, the loyal but brash Pegasus
