I use to be a cosplayer like you...

by Philippe

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Human, Dark
Length: 1935

Cosplayer of Dovahkin found himself in Equestria. epic tale follows

he first get to become the ultimate Dovahkin during six years in the land of skyrim (standard male nord storyline plus three expantions packs. all percs maxed out no major deviation (only deepen some things logicaly)) then the wabbajack send Him into the sugar bowl magical technicolor pony land of Equestria. (Rated M because "badass" seems to be a profanity. now I can take the story in more dark corners)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-10 20:00:01 UTC

Chapter 1 Awaken

CRRRRRRRRR

‘Awareness’

‘Darkness’

‘Ok check list.’

Am I still a rock hard statue? Argg yes

Am I still Underground of Everfree castle? You bet

Am I Bored? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

How I got here? umm... The short answer would be “Chaos”

Oh! You want the details.

Ok picture this.

It was at the Montreal Otakuton, cosplaying my Skyrim character Adovdez (destined dragon hunter) I was playing him as a Paladin type (heavy armor, one handed with support spells).

There was a guy selling dragon priest masks. He had this green wooden one that look a bit like “THE MASK” (you know like the one in that movie with Jim Carrey) for 15$ and I told myself "hey why not"

I tried on the mask -CHAOS-

cue Skyrim intro "sans title" first person locked, 99% realism sensation.

I was broth to the execution block, Alduin attacks, go in the reach. Get gears then realised I looked different from before. A bit taller and a LOT more muscled chiselled pectorals and galloping abdominals.

My adventures where pretty much the same what you would expect from the Skyrim game (Except Nazeem and everyone else were more respectful of me once I was named Thane)

After six years of building my fortune (and learning as much skill as I could. Because knowledge is power) I finally decided I was ready to settle down in one of my manors (I chose the one near Falkreath on the border of Lake Ilinalta and gave the others to each of my surviving huscarl), get married (not to an hag raven this time) have kids, just to let the aftermath of the civil war cool down, then take over the world and start the 5th age.

I decided to have one last adventure before that, completing my deadric artefacts collection. I visited Sheogorath and obtained that Wabbajack. On the way back I gave it a try... CHAOS!

I got defected by a purple dragon... and not the kind I got used to after two years playing the game and six actually living in the land of Skyrim.

First I was confused. But then I saw cotton candy cloud raining chocolate and it hit me like a ton of bricks

One I was not on Mundus anymore but in the magical pony land of Equestria.

Two to any onlookers I just appeared out of a dragon behind. Thus Dragon born

Three, I didn't have the Wabbajack anymore

Following that I made discoveries

One the dragon here do not speak a syllable of Dovahzul (My personal lessons with Paarthurmax where, short of making Thu'ums on the go, useless to me here)

Two Dragon born here was not a glamorous title of respect but a mere nickname meaning "the one who crawled out of Lady Kraang butt hole".

Three, we were in the discord era or during “the return of harmony”

After sometime around the dragons I tried invoking Arvak... the result was... unexpected

"Hello master where shall I bring you this time?"

He became a pony. A 4 feet high purple flame skeleton zompony.

"Sigh... figures... hello Arvak and welcome to the magical land of Equestria"

I Met Discord I can say He's saner that old Sheogorath

Turn out having deadric blood in my armor and weapons gave them (and me as long as I wear them) immunity to his powers

Oh you want to know why I am turned to stone.

Well it turns out Arvak did not return to de soul cairn after I invoked him in Equestria. And once Discord got zapped and the pony regained their sanity I was considered a "dark red glowing monster" and some actually confused me with a guy call “Terak” or something. Arvak on the other clutch had a pony form already and only needed to hide his undead appearance and I offered to make an Ebony armor for him to hide in.

The only major miner of ebony at the time was the Crystal Empire. I got the ebony against 300 cursed vampire arrows, I happened to have learned the “multiply arrow” spell from one of the guard in Solitude (AN: reference to the multiply arrows cheat) so while I did not revealed that I could spam those arrows by the thousands I offered to make viceroy Sombra, who I made the deal with, a custom made mixed ore armor as a “bonus gift” just I didn’t feel I cheated him.

And so Arvak had his armor and could go in market places in my stead

Then about twenty years later Sombra (who apparently became king in the meantime) found a way to make the arrows work in affecting the sun. Did Auriel's bow follow me in Equestria? I don't know.

This is when Celestia decided I was a serious menace… well that and my disproportionate reaction to animosity I developed while in Skyrim… and my hunger for world conquest. (Hey! Once at the top I’m sure I would have been a great Emperor, but it’s not really the destination that interest me it’s the journey itself. A king of the hill of epic level.)

So how they got me. I was taking a shower under a waterfall fantasying on Ysolda (got to love that redhead) in that sultry green barmaid dress (swiped it from Hroki and replaced it with refined robes) when they blindsided me with the elements. Note to self: make water heating cittern for bath inside of home, build a manual water pump to fill cittern and make a bathtub.

_______________________

3th POV

Twilight Sparkle was facing Nightmare Moon in the throne room of the two pony sister castle

“... You think you can destroy the element of harmony just like that.

Well you're wrong because the spirits for the elements are right HERE!

Applejack that reassured me when I was in doubt represents the element of…

HONESTY!”

The pieces of the rainbow of light’s shards gather around Applejack’s neck

“Fluttershy who tamed the manticore with her compaction represent the element of…

KINDNESS!”

The element converged to Fluttershy

“Pinkie Pie who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger represents the element of…

LAUGHTER!”

Ditto for Pinkie

“Rarity who calmed a sorrowful serpent with her meaningful gift represents the element of…

GENEROSITY!”

Shards of the element convalesced around Rarity forming a necklace

“And Rainbow Dash who could not abandon her friends for her own heart desire represents the element of…

LOYALTY!”

A collar formed around RD’s neck

“The spirit of those five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us.”

“You still don't have the sixth element the spark didn't work!” observed Nightmare Moon

“But it did -retorted Twilight- a different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realised how happy I was to hear you, too see you how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me. When I realised that you all are my FRIENDS.” She finished while striking a spontaneous heroic pose.

“You see nightmare moon when those elements are ignited by the... spark that reside in the heart of us all it create the sixth element –she exposed- the element of...

MAGIC!”

____________

At the same time the crown thingy arrived on Twilight head ant the element blasted Nightmare Moon the statue in the basement explosively shattered under the force of its prisoner after a discreet “vild sahlom grunt” (rock weakness shatter (AN: force balance push (fus ro dah) does not apply to every situation) the mining shout that brake rocks on a 5 feet radius. Excellent to make tunnel or bursting through walls)

“Arrrrrnng! It feels good to move again.”

The beefcake tried moving out the room but found he still could not move from the shin down.

“Oh right! My feet’s are still stunk. VILD”

Then the urge took him

“TWO THOURSAND YEARS… sure doe’s balloons on the bladder.”

After a little whistle –

“Much better! Ok check list.

One awesome beard... yup I have.

300 pound of pure muscle 6'7" body... Ye~es (appreciative Megatron impersonation).

Human? I think? Maybe? Well I looked human last time I checked. So I assume I am.

Full set of double enchanted legendary one size fits all deadric armor? Nope. I really do hope discord is not around before I get them back.

Pimped deadric sweihander? Nope.

Maxed up deadric bow and various arrows... nope.

Stupendous deadric sword? Nope.

They must be around somewhere.”

________________

After searching the castle for about an hour remembered I asked Arvak to keep my belongings safe while I showered.

I hope he did because that armor, those rings and that pendant were the only enchanted thing I had on me when I got out of that dragon crack. And while I could always smith other weapons and armors I could not make more Deadric armor without access to some dreamora's heart. And Dragon bones here were not the same that those in Skyrim. Plus I could not enchant anything here as I found out when I tried giving Arvak's armor augmentations. Apparently the Ideal Masters have no Hold in Equestria and all those black souls gems I had on me got emptied when I arrived and that's also probably why Arvak was still around when I got turned into a statue. I tried invoking him once more.

“Come to me Arvak!”

Nothing… well technically I felt the drain on my magika but the result was not present.

“Well fuck”

Having seen some kind of banner around I ripped one of the wall to drape myself in it.

“Why isn’t there a transmute cloth into various clothing? I look ridiculous”

I really did. I had garish mismatched cloth boots held by golden and silver ropes and a poncho with celestia pink mane on it.

“It kind of reminds me of when I was contacted by the dark brotherhood” It was after a party, I was as good as naked in the fancy robes I wore at the time. I only had my spells and shouts going for me, like now, only I mastered both art by the time I was whisked in Equestria and there was an ancient dragon waiting outside the cabin back then. Here at least the dragon care only for possession and think nothing of using their strength for oppression of other beings, other than a teenagers games that is. These dragons are mortals but they are tougher than their Mundus cousins.

But I digress. The most important things I had to get back were a large round steel shield, because it was not really a steel shield but a door. Why was I searching for a door? It was and still is a magical door.

You see I met the merchant that sold me the mask again. He might have looked human, but he wasn’t. He was one of The Things That Fill the Void, I bargained with him, and since we were evenly matched in the joust of words, I was given a handle. The price he asked of me was crafting diverse objects at his request. He told me I just had to build a cabin with that handle on the door. Then build it bigger on the inside, the exterior not being important only the door. So I made a cabin with an s big steel trapdoor on the roof and destroyed it. Put the door on the ground and open it the cabin inside was there.

most of my possession are beyond that door. that is why it's that important I find that "Shield"