Chapters Chapter 1 A.K.A Applejack is back, baby!
"Oh Celestia, I'm so excited! Is everypony else as excited as I am?" asked Pinkie Pie, hopping around the Far-From-Ponyville-But-Sill-Counting-As-A-Part-of-Ponyville Sea Dock 9.75
"Yes Pinkie, we're all excited, but you should calm down. After all we haven't seen Applejack in a year, so we should greet her as true friends." said Twilight, levitating the every-hyperactive Pinkie Pie back to their group.
"Appl'jack is very lucky to 've been asked to travel to Manechester an' help with appl' harvest. It ain't ev'ry year that Apples from th' continent get invited to Great Britail." said Granny Smith.
"Eeyup." agreed Big Macintosh.
"Oh, I do hope that she brought some beautiful clothes from the isles. Their style is simply fabulous." said Rarity.
"I can't wait to race her again!" shouted Rainbow Dash, flying in circles from excitement.
"I, uhh... I hope she had fun..." said Fluttershy timidly.
"Look ev'rypony! There's 'er ship!" shouted Applebloom, pointing to the horizon with her hoof. Indeed, a black shape appeared there and was heading to the docks.
5 hours later
"So... how long until the ship gets here?" asked Pinkie Pie, yawning. It was getting dark and the ship didn't seem to get any closer.
"Well, it's getting late. We might as well rest and maybe tomorrow morning the ship will get here." said Twilight.
"Eeyup." said Big Mac.
11 hours later
The sun bathed Twilight Sparkle's face as she awakened and got to her hooves. She made a brief tour around her sleeping friends and nudged them awake.
With everypony awake, they finally decided to look for the ship. It was literally coming into the docks as they woke up. The energy from yesterday returned to everypony, especially Pinkie who tried to jump onto the ship and would've fallen down if Rainbow Dash didn't catch her.
Stomping with anticipation, the ponies watched as the door of the ship opened with a hiss and the first pony that came out was... not Applejack. The next 15 minutes were spent watching everypony else leave the ship before Applejack came out as the very last passenger.
"Applejack!" shouted everypony and awaited her response. She opened her mouth to speak, and what happened after that... I'll try to explain.
Granny Smith fainted.
Then again, what do you expect? You wait for your friend/sister/grandchild to say "Howdy everypony!" and she says "Hiya chaps!"
Later that day
Sugarcube corner
God I love horizontal rule
"So... Applejack, how was your time in Manechester?" asked Twilight nervously, looking at Applejack.
"It was bloody marvellous mate! Amazing, all of the apple trees and long orchards stretching out for miles!" she said happily, picking up a cup.
"Cheers." she said, gulping down apple juice.
"Cheers?" whispered Rainbow Dash to Twilight, who shrugged cluelessly.
"Oh, I saved up like 100 quid working part-time in a pub so a pint of cider for everypony tonight, eh?" said Applejack.
A few minutes passed in nervous silence before Applejack spoke again.
"What got you all so surprised in the docks chaps? Something not right around here?" she asked, sounding worried.
Twilight answered Applejack's question with a question, "Applejack, do you feel alright?"
"Me? Oh, I feel fantastic mate. You think something's wrong with me?"
"Oh... no, it's just... we haven't seen you in such a long time... and you seem to have... changed."
"Don't worry Twilight. I'm still the old me, so no worries mate! Really, nothing's wrong. You're just imagining things, I tell you." said Applejack before putting on a small bowler hat and getting up, "Now I've had a whale of a time but sadly I have to go back to the farm, make sure Applebloom didn't botch anything up while I was away. Cheerio!"
And then she left.
"So... does anypony have any idea what she was talking about? I mean, all those weird phrases and words..." said Rainbow Dash.
"She also lost her accent!" said Pinkie, sounding a bit disappointed.
"And that bowler hat... I mean, it is a lot more stylish and fashionable than her old stetson hat but that is exactly the point! Applejack would never change her stetson hat for something stylish." said Rarity.
Twilight tapped her chin with one of her front hooves, "I have an idea about what could have happened but a further investigation needs to be done. I'll tell you if I was right." she said.
"APPLEJACK WAS REPLACED BY A ROBOT! CALLED IT!" shouted Pinkie Pie.
"Just sit down Pinkie. There is no such things as robots." said Twilight.
"Yeah! Obviously it's not a robot. It's an evil clone!" said Rainbow Dash, her wings popping up in excitement.
"Rainbow! There are no such things as 'evil clones' either." said Twilight.
"Perhaps it would be best if you started your investigation right now Twilight," said Rarity, "before this turns into something crazy."
"REPENT! THE PONYBOTS ARE COMING! PROTECT MAYOR CONNORS!" shouted Pinkie.
"DON'T LISTEN TO HER! BURN YOUR SHAVED MANE AND TAIL HAIR! PREVENT EVIL CLONING!" shouted Rainbow Dash.
"Perhaps it would Rarity... perhaps it would..." said Twilight.
A minute of random 'repent' rants passed as Twilight took a sip of her tea.
"Well come on Twilight! Start investigating!" shouted Rarity.
"Oh, right. Yeah, sorry. I kind of... phased out here..." said Twilight before she got up and galloped to the Library.
Fluttershy flew out after her, "Bye Rarity! I'll help Twilight okay?"
Rarity waved after her, "Okay, bye!"
. . .
"Hey lady! Could you silence your friends! I'm trying to eat here!" shouted somepony.
Rarity got up and patted Rainbow Dash on the back.
"Okay dear, I'm leaving. Pay for the meal, I'll repay you later. Bye!" she said before storming off.
Once Rarity left, Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie Pie.
"Now that they're gone, shall we go back to what we've planned for tonight?" she asked.
Pinkie giggled, "You bet."
Then they both left without paying.
View Online
Chapter 2 A.K.A Perfectly Reasonable Explanations
"So Twilight... how are you going to investigate?" asked Fluttershy, catching up to Twilight.
"It's simple. We, uh, kidnap the Applejack and make her tell us what happened in Great Brittail. Then we have the explanation." said Twilight, smiling.
"Oh... kay?" said Fluttershy, grinning nervously.
"No Rainbow, they have to open up like scissors. Like this, see? Then we slide them together." said Pinkie Pie
"I know Pinkie. Trust me, I've done this a thousand times!" shouted Rainbow Dash.
"Really? Who with?" asked Pinkie
"Well, I didn't quite do it, but I imagined how it would be like." said Rainbow Dash.
"Well, it's great that I finally have those suitcases borrowed by Applejack. I really feared I'll never get them." said Rarity, using her magic to open the suitcases that Applejack borrowed from her. In one of them she stumbled upon something interesting.
"Well, if it's Applejack's stetson hat? It's so dirty and scruffy... yet so interesting at the same time..." said Rarity before levitating it over to herself.
"Who are you talking to?" asked Sweetie Belle, walking up to her.
"Nopony dear. Now go to bed. I have something to do."
"I've changed?" mumbled Applejack on her way to the farm, "They're off their trolley! Nothing's wrong with me, but I can barely understand them. What the Hades happened to them..."
Day 2
The cock crowed twice, announcing the official beginning of a new work day down at Sweet Apple Acres, but Applejack was already working hard on the tree orchard bucking apples.
Twilight Sparkle made her way to Sweet Apple Acres, rethinking her plan over and over. The goal was to capture Applejack, interrogate her and find out what the *bleep* was going on here.
"Applejack!" shouted Twilight Sparkle.
Applejack looked at her over the fence.
"Twilight!" shouted Applejack back.
"There's something you should know..."
"What is it Twilight?"
"I came..."
"What?"
"...to this farm..."
"Oh."
"...to give you a message. Apple-powered motorcycles."
"Apple-powered motorcycles!?"
Out of nowhere, Flutershy flew into Applejack with a huge potato bag and caught her in it. Then she landed and started kicking it, "WHERE ARE THE RACCOONS!?" she shouted.
"Fluttershy, Applejack didn't kidnap any raccoons. I lied so you'd help me." said Twilight Sparkle.
"Oh... okay. By the way, Twilight, what's a motorcycle?" asked Fluttershy.
"Honestly, I don't know. I just made them up."
Applejack awakened, startled. She was sitting in a chair, tied up. A strong light was illuminating Applejack's face.
"What the... where the Hades am I? Oi! Twilight? Fluttershy?"
"Shut up. We're the ones asking questions." said a voice behind her, slapping her on the face.
"I ain't gonna put a sock in it unless you tell me where the Hades I am!"
"You must forgive my friend, she isn't very patient. You are in Pinkie Pie's basement. Don't mind the wet floor, she was working on something here yesterday. Trust me, just answer our questions and you'll be fine. We'll let you out right after we know what we need. However if you refuse to talk my friend will lose more patience than the little she has, and you might end up getting hurt. Now I'll give you a minute to recall your time in Manechester." said another, calmer voice.
Applejack shut up as she promised and the owners of both voices went behind a screen of soundproof glass.
"Why did I have to be the bad cop?" asked Fluttershy, looking at Applejack who was looking at Twilight who was looking at Fluttershy.
Twilight patted Fluttershy on the back, "You're just not good at rock-paper-scissors. Now come on, you have to go now. I said we'll give her a minute so you have to be mean and start asking her earlier."
"Oh... okay." said Fluttershy before walking back into the room and slapping Applejack again, "Alright, your time's up! Tell us what you did at Manechester!"
"Well... I bucked apples. Then collected apples. Then I carried apples back. Over and over. Met some daft morons who didn't even know how to buck apples. Had to teach them. More bucking and Bob's your uncle. Went back home." said Applejack.
"Try to remember something else, something... out of the ordinary..." said the calm voice. A flash of magic, unseen by Applejack, lifted a notepad and a quill.
"Well... we had some free time so we travelled around Manechester. One time me and cousin Allington went to a beach to play some hoofball and we saw a vacationing penguin in a bowler hat. Then some bloke in a black spandex and a cape bunged a bloody boomerang at him. So of course I catch the boomerang but that wanker hoofed it. Anyway, the penguin gave us a bowler hat each for helping him."
"Hmm..." hmmed Twilight as she scribbled some more in her notepad.
"That's good... but not good enough! Come on, something else definitely happened. Tell us!" shouted Fluttershy.
"Come on chaps, nothing much really. I did meet a brill salespony called Alan Sugarcube. A sweet name, not a bloody sweet person. He's tough on his workers but it pays in the long run. Gave me some selling tips. Goody gumdrops, a great pony." she said.
"Well, that should be enough for now... I'll just erase your memory and put you to sleep. Don't worry, you won't remember this." said Twilight.
"Obviously you moron. If you cast a memory erasing spell then of course she won't remember it!" shouted Fluttershy.
"It's okay Fluttershy... You don't have to be the bad cop now... it's over." said Twilight.
"Phew... I didn't like it at all." said Fluttershy, wiping her forehead.
Twilight flashed her magic and just like that, Applejack fell asleep, emptied of the memories of the interrogation. Twilight teleported all three of them to the Apple Orchards and left Applejack sleeping there.
"So Twilight... what do we do now?" asked Fluttershy.
"Elementary my dear Fluttershy. Now we gather along with Rarity, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, find a ship and travel to Great Brittail to find this penguin and discover why the buck Applejack's speech changed."
"What makes you think that it's the penguin's fault?"
"Dear Fluttershy, one does not simply trust penguins. Not after what happened to me in Denmarek. Now go and find the others. Tell them I'll meet them at the Far-From-Ponyville-But-Sill-Counting-As-A-Part-of-Ponyville Sea Dock 9.75 tomorrow at noon, and tell them to get packed for a long sea journey."
Twilight looked around the dock. Her friends were nowhere to be found, and it was just a few seconds to noon.
"Hey Twilight! We're here!" shouted Pinkie Pie, appearing out of nowhere along with Rainbow Dash. As Twilight turned around to greet them, Rarity came up from behind her along with Fluttershy.
"So Twilight, we're here. What do we do now?" asked Fluttershy.
"Well, now that we're here, we just buy tickets and sail to Great Britail, find that penguin and interrogate him. I thought I explained that."
"Yeah sugarcube, but ah mean, th' ship only sails once a year from this 'ere dock. How d'you think we're gonna sail now?" asked Rarity, and everypony looked at her.
"Is that Applejack's hat you're wearing? And what's with the accent?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Aye, it's Appl'jack's ol' stetson hat, but ah don't get what the hay you mean by acc'nt. I ain't speakin' in no acc'nt. Y'all should stop speakin' weird." said Rarity.
"Oh...kay. Well, we're stuck here without a ship. We're definitely not going to find out what happened to Applejack and, now, Rarity if we don't find a ship." said Twilight.
"What about 'The Flying Dutchmare' ? You know, that ship just beside the dock that is perfectly functional but everypony thinks it's haunted because there have been mysterious disappearances around it so nopony wants to use it?" asked Pinkie. Twilight scratched her chin.
"I don't know Pinkie... None of us knows how to use a ship, so we can't really take it, can we?" asked Twilight.
"Don't worry. I'm sure we'll figure something out once we're on it. We could at least give it a try." said Pinkie.
"Well Pinkie, got any ideas on how we use this thing?" asked Twilight, pointing at the helm while Pinkie looked around herself.
"Maybe we should check what's below the deck. There could be some instructions."
"Yeah... maybe we should."
The team of five split up to search the rooms.
Fluttershy entered a long corridor filled with cabins. As she passed them one by one, pale figures started entering the corridor through the doors and creeping up behind her. She finally walked to the end and, seeing no open doors, turned back.
"Hello, poppet." said one of the ghostly ponies.
"Oh... hello there."
"Would ye care to tell us why ye entered our ship?"
"Well, we wanted to take this ship and sail to Great Britail and find out why our friend got a weird speech change... that is, if it's okay with you..." she said quietly, putting on her cutest face.
"I, uh... we, uh... sure, go ahead, take the ship." he said.
In a flash of a second Fluttershy's face turned from cute to psycho, "You're damn right we're gonna take it! And you better not get in our way or else I'll make your afterlives as miserable as it is possible!" she shouted, scaring the ghosts and causing them to disappear back into walls.
Then she looked around herself, "Hmm... I wonder what happened? Why are all the nice ghost ponies gone?" she asked herself before going back to the top of the ship.
Pinkie Pie entered a huge room which was labelled 'Zee Captain's Room" and started looking around. She found nothing interesting except for a huge tricorne hat with a feather on it.
"Oh! What's this? It looks nice!" she said, picking it up.
"So... found anything?" asked Twilight as she, Fluttershy, Rarity and Rainbow Dash regrouped by the main mast.
"Nothin' interestin' 'ere sugarcube." said Rarity.
"I found a... a storage- a storage rum full of room..." said Rainbow Dash, swaying from one side to the other.
"I met some ghost ponies but they said it's okay to take the ship..." said Fluttershy.
"I only found sea charts and a compass, but that's not helpful if we can't get the ship into the open sea." said Twilight.
With loud hoofsteps, Pinkie Pie appeared behind them. Twilight turned around to face her.
"Did you have any luck finding instructions how to sail, Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
Pinkie looked at her, raising her hoof to fix the tricorne hat on her head, "There be no need fer instructions Ms. Sparkle. Just follow the orders of yer captain and we'll hit Great Britail in 30 days or less."
Before Twilight could reply, Pinkie hopped behind the helm, "From this moment, this ship is under the orders of Captain Pie, and all ye scoundrels shall follow them, else we'll end up in Davy Jones' Locker. Now Ms. Dash and Ms. Shy, raise the sails.
"Aye captain!"
"Ms. Rarity, raise the anchor."
"Aye cap'n!"
"Ms. Sparkle, ye shall be our navigator."
Twilight looked around herself to see her friends work on the ship, "Am I the only one who finds it weird that Pinkie is behaving like a pirate?" she asked. Pinkie jumped down and used her tail to pull out a cutlass from her mane, putting it to Twilight's throat.
"Listen ye landlubber. It is Captain Pie to ye, and ye shall follow me orders else I'll have to accuse ye of mutiny against the captain, and the punishment for mutiny against the captain is to walk the plank. Now get to the charts Ms. Sparkle and don't test me patience again." she whispered to Twilight's ear.
The lavender unicorn gulped, "Aye captain." and teleported behind the charts, using her magic to control plotting instruments and find a good trail to sail to Britail.
"Aye, today the wind's on our side. A good day to set sail." she said. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew up to her.
"The sails are raised captain. Any orders?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Aye. Ms. Dash, fly up and hoist the Jolly Roger. Then take place in crow's nest and call shall ye see any other ships or land."
"Aye captain!" she said, rocketing upwards.
"Ms. Shy, ye shall prepare the cannons below the deck for firing at any needed time, should we encounter resistance."
"Aye captain." she whispered, flying low below the deck.
Rarity galloped up to Pinkie, "The anchor's raised cap'n and we're movin'. Any ord'rs?"
"Ye finished yer job last, so ye shall be sweeping the deck. Next time I expect the job to be done right away."
Rarity looked down in shame, "Aye cap'n..." Then she grabbed a broom with her horny magic and started sweeping.
Pinkie walked back to Twilight, "Which way now Ms. Sparkle?" she asked.
"We should turn 45 degrees right..." said Twilight, looking at the maps and the compass.
"Starboard it is. Aye, I can feel the adventure in me blood." said Pinkie, turning the helm.
"Oi, Big Macintosh, have you seen my mates today?" asked Applejack, looking at her brother.
"Nnnnnnnet." he said in a very strong accent, going back to pulling his cart.
"Bugger. Where the bloody 'ell have they gone. I've been looking left, right and centre for them..."
