*Some say, that a Planet unknown to the human race, lived creatures of beauty and
sentience… It is foretold in lore, that this planet contained deities and beings of immense
power and skill that can shift reality, time and space all together, lived there. Some say that
they can even go through different dimensions every three and a half years or so. Some
even say that they’re like humans! Some say that they’re animal-like… so many “some’s”
that I forgot what they’re really looked like. But those stories have not been proven yet…
until a certain slacker, a cat and a goody-goody, stumble upon that rare world… and by not
knowing this vital information, they might as well ruin the entire story line... wait, this was already in the description!!!*
Somewhere in the far regions of space finds Space Dandy, an intergalactic Alien Hunter,
along with his two companions… Meow, a Betelgeusean cat-like being and QT, an old
model vacuum cleaner robot who cleans the cockpit and rooms of their ship’s interior, The
Aloha Oe. Dandy munches a small energy bar, his feet up on the console while Meow sits
idly in the co-pilot’s seat, sleeping through the whole journey. Dandy was already getting
sick of doing nothing and instead planning to know where he can find a new planet to
explore… or go to his favorite hangout through all of space…. “Boobies” a stopover for all
space travelers where men and women alike go there to have a good time, drink and look at
butts… especially boobs. That is why Dandy likes it there… It’s where the boobs are at.
“Hey, QT!” He looks in back of his seat spotting his little robot friend cleaning up the place.
He never realized that the ship was always getting cleaned while he never really saw QT
around to do it… maybe QT was just plain fast for an old model such as him to clean every
now and then.
QT looks at Dandy while turning off his hand-polishers. “Yeah?” he asked leaning over his
shoulder… or at least… that’s what he thinks he’s got.
“How much longer till we find a new alien to get? I’m getting bored looking at the same
damn scenery in this stupid window…” Dandy said, groaning over his own boredom. He
suddenly had thoughts about his robot companion and wonders to himself whether QT is
actually a boy or a girl due to QT’s androgynous voice pattern. Although he had owned QT
for a long time now, he hadn’t actually figured out QT’s gender for that matter.
“We already failed on that Plant-world due to the lack of aliens and as I said before, they
don’t take plants or even rocks to consider it as an alien…” QT reminded him. Their last
trip was a complete bust, since the aliens they met there proved completely worthless in
bringing them to get identified.
“Yeah, well…” He was about to say something, but Dandy stops himself, knowing very well
that what QT had said was true… their last trip WAS a bust. So he just snorted and sat
back. “Whatever… just tell me what’s the closest planet then we’re continuing our search
there.” He said, finishing off his bar then throws away the wrapper behind him, unknowingly
hitting QT on the head.
The small robot sighs and sucks it up using his own vacuum then goes over to the ship’s
systems and looks at the radar. “Hmm… According to this, there’s a planet not far from
where we are now-“
“Really? Where?!” He shoves QT aside and looks at the radar himself. Seeing it was just
only dots he couldn’t actually tell which is a planet or just a star. “Damn it! I couldn’t really
read these damn dots… Hey! QT! Which is it?” He looks at the robot, which only gave him a
grunt before he can say which is which.
“It’s right over here! See?” He points to a little blue planet, one that almost looks like Earth
in olden times…
Dandy’s mouth gaped open then looks at QT. “Hey… Don’t tell me that’s-“
“Cool your jets, monkey boy…It’s not Earth…” QT stops him from making the wrong
acquisition.
“Who are you calling, monkey boy?!” He grits his teeth, but quickly shrugs it off. “Okay,
smart-aleck… what planet is that anyway?” He asked, hoping that this mini walking
computer would know…
Luckily, QT had the answer. “It’s the Planet called… uhh… wait, that doesn’t make any
sense…” He said, tilting his (her?) monitor-head a bit reconsidering his answer to Dandy,
not believing what his data is giving to him.
“What? WHAT!? Tell it already” Dandy asked impatiently.
“Looks like you’re may be actually right… because my sensors say that it’s actually Earth!”
QT reveals, making Dandy’s ‘accusation earlier even more solid.
“Ha! I knew it! Wait…” Dandy looks at the robot dumbfounded. “Say what now?”
“Although,” QT moves closer to the monitors and tries to zoom in a little closer to see the
surface of the planet a bit clearly… and sees a different sight than the ‘Earth’ he has in
mind… or rather, in memory storage. “I don’t think it’s really earth after all.”
“Which is it? Is it earth or not, you’re making my head spin like a turnip-pot!” Dandy yelled,
his spit showering on QT and his tongue swivels a bit as he talked.
“It resembles earth, yes… but I’m not really sure now, since this sensor data keeps shifting
from one reading to another, I can’t make out heads or tails with this!” QT responded in
equal tone. Dandy grunted and looks at the monitors instead.
“So, why not land there and check it out? Surely there are aliens in that planet, eh?” Dandy
said with a cheeky grin while raising his hand up with his finger pointing upwards.
“I don’t think so.” QT said, quickly breaking Dandy’s excited feeling.
Dandy dropped to the floor upon hearing that, but quickly stood up again. “Why the heck
not?!” He demands, almost waking up Meow from his sleep.
“Well, you see, I would have landed this ship earlier although something is stopping us to
go further,” QT explains, hoping that Dandy would understand. But, being a bonehead… he
didn't catch on.
“Uhh… could you tell me that in detail? What’s stopping us from going there?” Dandy
requested, raising his brow and scratching his groovy hair.
“Okay… Do you know what a force field is? Well, this is exactly what is stopping us, though
again, it’s not a force field…”
“There you go again, just get to the damn point!” Dandy yelled once more, and this time, he
woke up Meow.
“W-what the~” He didn’t remember that he was on a chair and fell face first into the floor.
This caught the attention of the two for a moment, before they get back to their bickering.
“What I’m trying to say... is that we can’t use the ship to enter the atmosphere of this
planet!”
“Because of this “Strange Force” stopping us? Pfft, then just use the transporter! We did
use that back in the plant planet, right?”
QT sighs and tries not to fry a circuit talking to this nut job. “Remember when you
teleported? You we’re off course and popped up above sky high, you almost died! in
that planty-ful planet.” QT said, making a slight pun in his last remark along with his own
rimshot. But Dandy didn’t find it funny one bit and frowns as he recalls what his robot
companion is talking about.
“Oh, yeah… I got separated with Meow that time…” Dandy recalls… hoping he’d never did.
“But whatever! As long as we get a new kind of alien, then by all means! It’ll be worth it,
baby!” Dandy raised his fist up high with pride.
“What’s up?” Meow stands up, rubbing his cat-ears. “Where are we?” Meow looks at the
monitors but fails to know where they ended up.
“That’s what we’re going to find out. Suit up, Meow! We’re going down there…” Dandy
suggested, as he head over to the transporter.
“What, again!? Haven’t we had enough injuries on using that broken down pop-up tele-
ouchers?!” Meow groans as he follows Dandy sluggishly.
“Oh quit your whining,” Dandy snaps. “Besides, aren't cats supposed to land in their feet?”
“Cat my ass…” Meow spats. “Last time I checked, I didn't exactly… “land on my feet” when
we were back at that plant world!”
“Blah, blah, blah… Let’s get this over with already… that is, if you want to see more
boobies.” Dandy lets out a smug grin.
“Boobies you say?” Meow rubs his chin… after a second or two, Meow grins and nods.
“Okay! Let’s get this show on the road!” He runs over to the other transporter then stands
there.
“Okay, now I calibrated the landing this time, and it should pop you out on the ground… Are
you ready?” QT asked before he hits the button.
“Get on with it already!” Dandy said impatiently.
“Alright… here we go!” QT punches the button and then the two disappear in a flash.
Leaving QT alone in the ship to monitor them from there, but then… “I think… ‘popping out
on the ground’ might be too literal…” QT said, hoping that nothing would backfire at his
calibrations of the transporter.
* * * * *
In a matter of seconds, they got transported to the ground safely… although~
“Ahh, finally… I can stretch my- uhh..” Dandy was looking up the sky, but feels kind of
odd… But when he looks down, he can see the ground ‘very’ closely. “What the-?!” He
yelled. “I’m a head from the waist down!! Where the butts is my BODY!!” Dandy frantically
turns his head from side to side, and sees Meow’s tail sticking out of the dirt, just a few
inches from him. “How the heck did he get planted? Oh HAHA QT! That’s real FUNNY! You
think you can turn us into plants!!” He yells at his robotic-sidekick.
But of course, the robot can’t hear him, due to his communicator being off. Dandy then
hears muffled noises under him. He leans closer and sure enough, he hears it. It took him
three minutes to realize that he was planted under the pile of dirt. “Son of ah…” He tries
digging himself up until he managed to uproot his arms out. “When I get my hands on that,
malfunctioning piece of scrap!” He rants as he slowly pulls himself out of the ground. Then
he grabs Meow’s tail and yanked him out of the ground, with Meow screaming in pain…
“I thought I was buried alive! What happened back there?!” Meow asked, as he gasped for
air. He looks around only to find themselves in a clearing of a forest. “Aww, geez… don’t tell
me we ended up in an unpopulated area…” he groans, already getting sick of this place.
“I’m sure we’ll find something… In the meantime, I’m gonna take a piss… Be back in a
jiff.” Dandy turns and goes towards the bushes. The sound of something being unzipped is
heard, followed by a flowing noise… and a sigh of relief.
“Gee whiz, can’t you just find somewhere else to do that?” Meow covers his nose, for the
smell of it makes him sick. “I’m gonna go look around…” He said as he scampers away.
“Alright fine…” Dandy goes back to his business, when all of a sudden he spots a chicken
peeking out of the bushes. “What the… is that a chicken?” He tilts his head in confusion.
“If QT said this wasn't some sort of an Earth-like planet… then what would a chicken be
doing here!?” As Dandy crouches down to take a closer look at the chicken, his pants still
unzipped, he attempts to grab the creature. “Hey there, baby… what are you doing there?”
Just as he’s about to grab the chicken, it hisses and clucks out of the bushes, revealing
to be some sort of a snake-chicken hybrid! ”What the devil?!” Dandy yelped in surprise,
his ‘treasure’ hanging down exposed.
The chicken-snake creature hissed again, and seems to glare at it with reddish eyes. Dandy
was both amused and frightened at this and shields his hands to prepare for an attack, but
after a few moments… The creature stopped hissing… Dandy stays in place for a few more
seconds until he peeks to see what happened…
The chicken-snake had vanished! “Huh?” Dandy blinks and looks around cautiously,
surprised to find himself alone. When he’s sure that the creature is no longer there…
he stands up and dusts himself off. “Huh… Must have scared the jerk off,” he says to
himself and looks around some more. “What’s the matter? Dandy too tough for you… you
chicken?!” he taunted. He was about to zip back his pants when he felt something… odd.
“What the… Why do I feel hard all of a sudden? Like a damn brick is hanging in my~”
Dandy looks down and finds his… “Staff” and “Gems” had turned to solid STONE!
“NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Dandy wails in horror. His pride as a man had been desecrated! It had turned his
“Dandyness” into Rock-Solid piece of worthless ding-dongs!
“No, no, no, no, no, no!! Please God, NO!!” He pokes it… rubs it, and even gropes it, hoping
it’s just an illusion. Sadly, he felt nothing and the thing was still hard. Not the feeling you’d
ever want to feel in his side. “Why… WHY!? This isn’t happening… say it isn’t SO!!” Dandy
cries, and glared to where the creature was last seen and drew his pistol. “I’m going to KILL
you!! You’re going to PAY FOR THIS FREAK!” he yells while gripping his weapon tightly.
“Dandy!!” Meow yells as he runs back to him. “What happened?! What’s going on, I heard
you scream!” The Betelgeusean asks, looking at Dandy worriedly.
Dandy looks at him, openly sobbing, tears already flowing like a waterfall before he could
speak. “M-my… my…”
“Your… what?” Meow asks.
Dandy knew that saying it wasn’t gonna work… so he turns… and shows it to Meow.
The cat… almost died of laughter right then and there...
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!!
The sound an incoming call filled QT’s sensors… The Robot zooms back to the cockpit and
picks up the communicator. Knowing it’s Dandy, he might have found something interesting
or has something to say about the planet. “What’s the news down there? Any luck?” QT
asked, his voice sounding like a song as he asked.
QT listened for almost a minute, until he laughed so hard that his voice literally sounded like
a musical beeping. “Okay, I’ll head down there to see the damage. Hold on tight!” QT hung
up then heads to the transporter, unknown to him what he may see down there. Before he
can punch in the coordinates, he takes some equipment and puts it inside his storage hatch
in front of his body and went to the platform. The transporter shines brightly then zaps QT
out of sight.
* * * * *
Somewhere in Ponyville… A certain Alicorn looks upon the sky using her telescope, when
she sees something odd once more. “There it is again!” Twilight nudges her little assistant-
baby dragon, Spike. “It’s that same weird straight light! It went to Everfree forest again!” She
said, sounding more worried than earlier.
“You’re overreacting. Like I said, it might be just a shooting star. Nothing to worry about…
nothing at all…nothing at all.” Spike shook his head then went back to his nap.
“Spike, since when do shooting stars appear in mid-afternoon?” The purple Alicorn pointed
out then looks outside, but she hasn’t seen anything from there. “Strange…” she said to
herself, turning to talk to Spike again, but he’s already asleep. Twilight shakes her head as
she picks up a blanket and covers Spike with it. She then goes outside heading out with
plans to tell her friends about what she saw; she had a feeling that, that light… is somewhat
bad. But before she can talk to them, she had to check it out herself before she can jump to
conclusions.
At that same time, Maud Pie came back from the Rock Farm for another visit. The reason is
the entire Pie family went to a rock contest in Japony and she doesn’t want to come or stay
at home so she decided to stay for a week in Ponyville once more. She didn’t tell anypony she
was coming again, not even Pinkie herself!
“I wonder where they are…” Maud wonders in a deadpan tone. She walks around the library
and only sees Spike sleeping in there. She didn't bother talking to the dragon since she has
no business with him, either that or she had no interest in seeing him.
Maud carries on and goes to the shop where Pinkie said she was working, a sweets
store called Sugar Cube Corner. She enters inside the store and flinched upon seeing
the incredible colorful scenery her eyes laid upon. She was about to leave when one of
the owners, Mrs. Cake, greeted her. “Welcome! How may I help you?” Mrs. Cake asked,
smiling at Maud.
The grey mare hesitates, but decides might as well ask where her sister is. “Excuse me,
but do you know where Pinkie is?” she asks, her tone of voice never changing.
“Oh? And who might you be, sweetie?”
“I’m Maud Pie… her sister, ma’am.”
“Oh, how wonderful! Pinkie’s out, I don’t know where, but she said she’ll be heading off
to hang out with her friends.” Mrs. Cake answers, and takes a guess. “Try Sweet Apple
Acres… she’s usually there to help on the farm with Applejack,” she suggests. Maud nods
and said her farewell then moved on to her search.
After a few minutes of walking, Maud was near the farm when she sees Twilight and her
friends run inside the Everfree Forest, Pinkie Pie among them. Maud raised an eyebrow
and wonders why would they go into the dangerous woods. She watches them go inside the
forest entrance one by one until they’re no longer in sight.
Maud thought to herself to just wait for them in town, but something inside that forest is
making her go inside… Upon much deliberation inside her mind, she decides to follow
them. Unknown to her, the path in the forest sometimes change which makes ponies go
inside get lost easily without the proper knowledge of the forest’s secrets and paths…
* * * * *
Meow laughs hysterically at Dandy’s rock solid monolith sculpture that hangs between
two rocky balls in his lower abdomen and can’t really stop which makes Dandy even more
annoyed that the fact it’s no longer soft… sure he liked it hard, but this definitely wasn’t what
he had in mind! “At least girls won’t see that horrendous piece of art!” Meow said between
guffaws.
“Can it, wing nut!” Dandy snaps. “You don’t even know what horrendous means!”
“It means well enough to me seeing that thing in front of me!” he points and nearly chokes
on his own saliva.
QT examines it, giving a spot analysis on what he’s up against. “Hmm… it’s weird. How did
this happen again?” he asks, while giving it a poke, causing Dandy to flinch.
Space Dandy sighs and tells QT the whole story. “Well, I was taking a spill on that tree over
there and all of a sudden, I saw a chicken and~”
“Wait, wait… a chicken?” QT curiously looks up to dandy. “Are you positive?”
“Yeah, I’m positive! What do you think? Although…” Dandy trails off and adds, “That
chicken has a snake body.”
“A snake body?” Meow stops laughing and thinks a bit. “If a chicken with a snake body did
this to you… then maybe it’s a Cockatrice!” he concludes, serious again.
“A Cock-a-what? Wait, are you making fun of my~”
“No! No! Just hear me out!” Meow shouts. “I mean, it’s kind of a half chicken-snake hybrid.
I heard legends about the offspring’s of Medusa, a legendary creature of mythology with a
woman’s body and a snake for the bottom.”
“Medusa, huh? Sounds like my kind of chick.” Dandy prods his hair.
“There’s more…” Meow continues. “She can utterly turn anyone or anything into stone with
just a stare!” He adds, making Dandy go pale. “You’re lucky your crotch is all it looked at!’
“So, in Dandy’s case… His crotch turned into stone, all because of that Cockatrice stared at
it? Talk about Irony,” QT says, a note of humor in his/her voice.
This wasn’t helping Dandy in his situation at all, his mind turning in so many ways that
even his brain can’t catch up. “S-so… there’s no way on turning my…my pride back?” he
asks, desperate to give anything to turn his wing-ding back… even at the point where he’d
sacrifice his own crew!
“Well, there are two ways...” Meow said, giving Dandy a ray of hope. “We could try alchemy.
But where can we find a kid with one of its arms and legs solid metal and a companion in
full armor?”
“What… what does THAT have to do with alchemy?” QT asks, thinking it’s irrelevant.
“I dunno, I just thought it’s legit!” Meow shot back.
“Okay, what about the second option?” Dandy asks again.
Meow returns an answer. “We could hunt down that cockatrice and~”
“Stop calling it a cock! It’s pissin’ me off!”
“You can’t even urinate, now that your thing is solid!” QT points out.
“Shut the hell up! Just tell me the other option! And don’t say that word!” Dandy warns.
“Okay! The chicken-snake! We just hunt him down and kill it! That should reverse its
effects… I hope.” The cat rubs its chin.
“You hope?” Dandy raised an eyebrow.
“What do you expect? I only read about them in books so cut me some slack!” Meow yelled.
“And put that thing away, you’re making me uncomfortable!”
“I’m making you uncomfortable?! Try putting a stone in your shorts let’s see how that feels!
At least this way it feels nice.” Dandy said, jiggling his jewels in the air.
“Oh brother…” QT facepalms.
All of a sudden, they hear a scuffle from the nearby bushes. Dandy glares and picks up his
pistol, pointing it directly at a pile of leaves. “What the heck is that?!” Meow asked, hiding
behind Dandy and QT.
“Probably our little saboteur.” Guessing it could be that snake, Dandy walks in closer.
“Come out you!” he yells.
QT steps forward as well. “Be careful! You don’t want anything more to become stone
now…” He said, about to turn back.
Just as Dandy was about to pull the trigger, something surprising came out of the bushes…
it’s a horse! A slightly grey horse, with a darkish purple mane. “The hell?” Dandy looks at it
curiously and the horse did so as well… though it doesn’t seem surprised by Dandy or his
companions.
It neighed for a bit, as if the horse is asking something, though it didn’t seem to make any sense for the
three.
“So it can talk… hold on.” Dandy adjusted his universal translator bracelet then sets it on
the language that this horse said. “Okay… what did you say again?” Dandy asked it.
“I said… Who or what are you?” It asks again, apparently a female judging by its tone of
voice.
Dandy smiles and stands up. “I’m Dandy… but you can call me Space Dandy! And these
are my crew, Meow and QT.” He introduced his crew and himself to the horse.
“Oh… I’m Maud… sorry to disturb you.” It simply says before turning away.
“W-wait!” Dandy stops her before she can run off. “What are you? Are you a horse or
something?” he asks her.
“That obvious?” She raises an eye ridge, “Kind of… but I prefer to be called a pony.” She
corrects him.
“I see… hey, you haven’t seen a snake-chicken looking animal come by here, have you?”
Dandy asked, not questioning that he’s talking to an animal or that she’s wearing clothes
since he’s seen and spoken to many different animals and aliens across the galaxy.
“A… what?” she tilts her head, wondering what this strange creature even asking from her.
“A snake with~ ah forget it… obviously you don’t know what we’re talking about, baby.” He
shrugs and looks at his crew. “Come on crew, let’s jet… and find a place to crash for the
night.” He says as they walk off…
Maud looks at them as they walk off… then in that moment; she suddenly notices
something that can make her facial expression change forever… A rock that she never had
seen before! A rare find! “Stop!” she yells, making the trio look back at her. “I know a place
where you can stay!” She suggests quickly and in a huff.
Dandy looks at the two with him and raised an eyebrow. “Say what?” they ask in unison.
Maud sucks her lip, and then repeats… “I know where you can stay for the night.”
“Wait, is there a town here?” QT said, surprised that his own source of information betrayed
him… “I never knew that this was inhabited by sentient ponies…” he adds with a seemingly
frowny face.
“Gee, that’s mighty kind of you, baby.” Dandy said, rubbing his chin with a smug grin.
“Alright, I’ll take you up on that offer…”
Maud nodded and walks off first. “This way.” she said, retracing her steps out of the forest.
Dandy nods and follows the pony along with his crew.
“Psst, QT.” Meow nudges the vacuum cleaner bot.
“What?” QT looks at him.
“Did your source say how violent these ponies are? Remember the last time… looks can
fool us all.”
“You mean that girl we saw on that planet that was actually a dangerous monster who eats
anything?” QT recalls.
“Yeah… so, what do you think?” Meow asks again.
“As you can see… my gosh darn source is giving me pathetic information that doesn’t
match up with this place… it also said that there’s a bunch of dangerous creatures here, but
we haven’t seen any other than this pony and~” he cuts himself off in middle sentence and
looks at Meow. “You don’t think…”
“Maybe, maybe… let’s just keep an eye on this… pony.” Meow suggested as they follow
her.
As the four left the site, Twilight and the others arrived at the landing site of Dandy and
his cohorts. “Are you sure, this is the place your horn is tellin’ ya?” Applejack asks, looking
around as she stays alert for anything that might pop out of the bushes.
“I’m sure, Applejack. This is where that high concentrated energy came from.” Twilight
kneels down and inspects the ground which had two huge holes on it. “I wonder what could
have made these holes…” She wonders aloud.
“Probably those dreadful gem dogs. I say, they’re such a horrible bunch!” Rarity guesses.
“Gem dogs don’t make a hole that doesn’t turn into tunnels,” Applejack inspects the holes.
“Something was jammed into these…”
“How can you tell?” Rainbow Dash asks while floating above them.
Applejack looks at her then answers. “Look, Ah may not be a geo…grapler… or somethin’
but I know exactly that this wasn’t dug by anyone… or anything. But Ahm positively
sure, that a “thing” was forced in the ground… It was in there real good. It even made an
impression on the dirt!”
“What did you say?” Twilight looks back the hole closer and squints. She raised an eyebrow
and tries to manifest plaster to put in the hole… After a few minutes, the hole was filled, and
Twilight teleports the mold cast out and takes a look at the form it generated.
All of them gasped.
* * * * *
The crew was led to a park and into a restaurant and the next thing Dandy knew after going
into such place, was surrounded by candy colored animals that gawked not by what he
looked like… but the one hanging down his pants. “I should have known that my pride will
break anytime soon. I just didn’t expect in front of such cute girls.” He said to himself.
“Well, this is awkward. “ Meow leans over to one of the ponies taking a closer look… mainly
in its flank. ” Such a pretty ass…”
“Excuse me?!” One of the equines jerked back. “I’m not an ass, I’m a pony!”
“Whatever…” He said, still staring at its flank. The pony snorted and walks away giving
Meow the stink eye.
QT on the other hand, was being fancied by a group of younger ponies who seems to find
him to be a piece of play thing.
“Woah, look at this!” One colt said.
“It’s like a bean shaped thing!” A filly said.
“I’m a robot, if you want to know, and not just a robot… a vacuum cleaner robot.”
“What’s a vacuum?” A colt asked.
“A vacuum is what’s used to clean houses. Sort of a sucker for dirt.”
“So in short… You’re a dirt sucker?” The ponies laughed at the colt’s conclusion.
“Okay enough BS. Come on, Maud, I thought you’re gonna help us with this crisis!” Dandy
slammed his hands on the table.
“I do. But I need more time to… to examine this…” She looks at it longingly. Stares at it.
Touches it.
“Hey, what the~ Aren’t we going a little too fast, baby?” Dandy cringes.
“Fast?” Maud looks at him and tilts her head. Now this is really going out of character don’t
you think?
Meow takes out his phone and shifts its mode into a camera then snaps photos of the
mare’s flanks… “Nice… This is better than Boobies, boobies boobs!” Meow drools over his
prizes. “They’re better without clothes!”
“God, this is getting irritating.” Dandy rubs his temples, already having less and less
patience of this. “Look! For god sake, please just~”
Maud stops him. “Alright, I’ll find something to help you with, but first… can I… touch it
again?” She said shyly.
“WHAT!?” Dandy’s eyes widened and he nearly jerked back off his seat.
* * * * *
Out in space… way, WAY out in space… a certain doctor and his assistant is trying to figure
out a strange signal they picked up about an hour ago.
“Bea, have you figured out what this means?” Dr. Gel, a monkey-like being who is the
leader and commander of the Gogol armada and the captain of a ship that looks like the
ball-gagged head of the Statue of Liberty asked his little assistant and partner in crime, Bea.
“No, Dr. Gel… It seems that this appeared when Dandy activated his warp drive. Strange,
his existence disappeared once the warp ended…”
“Warp drive?” Dr. Gel raises an eyebrow. “Bea, not to be rude, but I should have known
that if they used their warp drive. We have the sensors to detect that! Ever since we hid that
darn tracking device in his fuel engine 5 years ago!”
“If they didn’t warp… what did they use then?” Bea asks further.
“Maybe they used their teleportation device….” The simian genius speculates, since it’s the
only logical thing he can think of. Dr. Gel rubs his chin and then thinks of what Bea said about
Dandy’s existence being erased. “Do you think he got obliterated by something unforeseen?”
“I hope so… that way we won’t be bothered by his company in space anymore…” Bea
replies, looking at the monitors next.
“Maybe… but we can’t take any chances. Can you trace that unknown signal to the last
place it was activated?” Dr. Gel asked.
“Certainly…” Bea tinkers with the keyboard and punches some buttons. Their ship starts to
mobilize and roars forward into deeper space.
* * * * *
Back at Ponyville, Dandy ran for his dear life… as a rock-crazed pony chased after him,
Meow and QT closely behind their leader. While Dandy runs like a maniac, Meow dodges
trees swiftly while paying attention behind them, seeing the pony was still gaining on them!
“The heck, man! What’s with her and stones anyway!?” Meow asks hysterically.
“I don’t know, but this isn’t what I dreamed of EVER in my stinking life!” Dandy yells back,
nearly tripping over his own foot.
“Please!! I just want to feel it more!!” Maud yelled at them, obsessed by that rare rock
formation… wanting to either admire and look at it… or cut it and claim it as her own!
QT zooms pass Dandy and said to him, “She’s getting close! We need to hide!!”
Dandy looks at him and wants to consider that plan, but due to the distance between his
friends and that pony, it’s nearly impossible! It’s a miracle that this guy had thought of that
rather than jumping the gun. Dandy was about to say something when he felt like he wasn’t
walking on anything… looking down to see he’s already in midair… same as the two behind
him. “Aw, CRAP!” he grabs QT’s body, but QT Grabs Meow’s feet as the Betelgeusean
clings into the Cliffside!
“W-what the… WHAT THE HELL!!!” He yells in fear, looking down at Dandy. “You JERK!,
why weren’t you paying attention to the damn road!”
“There is NO road you IDIOT! Why would I watch out for that!?” he yells back, completely
not getting the point.
“Do you really have to argue now?!” QT wails as well.
At the edge of the cliff, the pony stops and sees them clinging to the cliff edge for dear life.
She licks her lips and grins. “Come on! Grab my hoof! I’ll help you up!” She offers, looking
really eager and excited that she was one yank away from her prize.
“Dandy! W-what now!?” Meow, who was on the precipice of decision asked his leader…
Dandy looks down, then back at the pony who was offering help yet was drooling while
staring down at his crotch… He almost cried at what he was thinking inside his little mind…
He can’t believe this… here, a pony alien was BEGGING to rub and stroke his treasures
and he was having second thoughts. It was a DREAM come true! And for once in his
miserable life time, the great womanizer of seven galaxies doesn’t want a girl that was
obsessed with his member to rub it… at least, not at this form.
With that, Dandy makes a hard choice… He climbs up and gave Meow a hard punch at the
groin, making the cat squeak and yell in pain, causing him to let go and fall! The pony tries
to grab his paws, but it was too late… They fell down the cliff, about 200 meters something.
Below, it made a slight “Plopping” noise… like a drip in a sink.
* * * * *
“Twilight, we’ve been looking for hours, can’t we just leave well enough alone?” Rarity asks,
looking quite thirsty.
The alicorn princess looks at them and sighs. “Sorry about this, girls. I thought something
interesting landed here… but I guess it was just a natural anomaly. Sorry for wasting your
time.”
“No, sugarcube… We like to help you out, and it’s nice to go out today anyway.” Applejack
pats Twilight on the back.
“And besides, it’s getting stuffy inside the house anyway. I needed the air and exercise
these wings!” Rainbow Dash glides towards Twilight.
“Me too…” Added Fluttershy.
“Ohh!! There’s a river nearby! I can hear the flowing of liquid life! I want to swim! I want to
swim for a while, please?!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing excitedly.
All of them giggles at her suggestion and nodded. “Alright, a little swim is good after a long
and sweaty day!” Twilight agreed, so does her friends…
“Race you all there?” Rainbow Dash suggests.
“You’re on!” Applejack smirks.
“Three, two, one… GO!” Pinkie zooms away, making the others fly and run after her.
The first one was of course, Rainbow Dash… But Fluttershy accidentally dived in the river,
due to an accidental bump of Twilight in the flank! Rarity was on full adrenaline, surprisingly
excited to go into the water, since she’s the sweatiest among her friends. She goes to the
edge then jumps yells… “Geronimo!”
“Arapaho!” Applejack jumped next.
“Navajo!” Rainbow Dash yelled and zooms down to the water making a splash.
Pinkie stops in the edge and looks down raising an eyebrow on why they had said that before jumping... with a shrug and thinking it's just a shout after a jump she takes a few steps back before jumping in a swan dive and yelled…
“Pocahontas!”
In a spectacular splash, the three of them literally brought the water high up, enough to rise
at least 10 meters high. The friends played and laughed in the water, having the time of
their lives. That changed when a certain party pony felt something with her hooves. “What
the…” She looks down and saw a puffed up looking face with swirling eyes and looks like
it’s about to drown…duh. And it’s not alone…
“Oh, Sweet Hay In Tea!! What the fuuu-ngus ?!”
* * * * *
“Dr. Gel!” Bea yelled.
“I’m here Bea, you don’t need to yell…” Dr. Gel walks over to his assistant. “Yeah, what do
you want?”
“Admiral Perry sent me the results about our little request. And to think the cost of him doing
a favor for us was your galactic beauty model space figurine…”
“My WHAT?!” Dr. Gel was shocked. “How could you give him my sexy figurine?!”
Bea shrugs. “Well, what else could I have given to him? I thought that Dandy’s demise is
what you always wanted?”
“Yeah, but… you should have told me first.” Dr. Gel sighs. “I hope this information is worth
parting with my sexy figurine. Give it to me then!”
“Okay, the signal was traced to the 9th quadrant… right here.” Bea points to a location in the
intergalactic map projection.
Gel takes a look closely and seems to be baffled about this information. “Hmm… I never
heard about the 9th quadrant ever having a planet before…”
“That’s because they shut that quadrant down to all transport ships and merchant caravans
including the Gogol Empire because of a treaty they made with the monarch there…”
“And… who IS the monarch there?” Gel asks.
“No one knows… All that Admiral Perry said that the monarch there is somewhat of a god.”
“A god, hmm? Then we have no time to waste! Set course for the 9th quadrant!” And with
that, their ship went to hyper space and disappears momentarily.
* * * * *
“Ugghhh…” Dandy opened his eyes; his view is blurry like a foggy dock. “Where am I?”
“You’re in my library… You were almost drowning back there…” A female voice said to him.
Dandy squint his eyes and saw the silhouette of a woman, with a perfect body to match.
“Oh, hey baby… what you say after I get better we go out and have a little… private party?”
The girl answers with a giggle. “No thanks, I prefer having a party with my friends…” she
said without a trace of irony, his clearing vision revealing her to be another pony!
“HOLY~” Dandy jerks back and falls from the bed he was laying on, screaming in terror.
“No please darn it! Don’t take my pride off of me, I’m begging you! I want children!” He begs
her…
The pony looks at him oddly and laughs. “Take what off?” She asked while still laughing.
“My….my…” He said as he looked down at his lower abdomen and was surprised when he
saw that his rock hard little Jr. was now back to normal… and of course zipped under his
pants. “H-huh?! It’s not a piece of rock anymore! H-how?!” he looks at her, thinking that it
was almost impossible to return it to its former glory.
“Well, apparently these creatures know magic! Well, some of them… at least.” QT said,
while he/she stood there reading a couple of books on a shelf.
Dandy was still confused and a bit worn out from his thoughts. “What do you mean?” He
asks them both.
“Well, first… to get a better view of what I mean, read this first!” He throws Dandy a book
which he catches.
Dandy flips open the first page. “Hmm… Earth Ponies are in charge of the crops and plants,
Pegasi control the weather, Unicorns use magic~ wait… This is a CHILDRENS BOOK!” he
slams it shut. “What am I, a kid?!”
“Well, it’s basic but detailed information you’d need to get to know this place and its
inhabitants a bit more!” QT tells him.
“Detailed?!” Dandy yelled. “You bum, This isn’t even that long to read! I read the whole darn
book from front to back like, what, 10 seconds flat?!”
“Hey, that’s my line!” A rainbow mane pony Pegasus said, hovering over him.
Dandy wasn’t even surprised now upon seeing her. “Yeah, whatever skittles… anyway, you
seen my cat anywhere?” He asked, thinking about Meow for a moment.
“He’s over here…” A yellow Pegasus said, cuddling Meow in her forelegs while he purrs. “I
didn’t know cats can talk, besides a dragon before…”
“A dragon you say?” Dandy interest was slightly sparked, but he knew quite well that he’s
not getting any bounty from that.
“Yeah, so… Who actually are you?” The purple winged unicorn pony asks.
Dandy stands up with dignity back in him to introduce himself and his crew. “I’m Dandy…
Space Dandy…” he said, with a shimmering smile. "And these are my crew, QT and Meow.”
“I’m Twilight Sparkle…” The winged unicorn introduced herself as well. “And these are my
friends, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie...” She said, pointing to
each individual.
Dandy looks at the orange one, then at the white one, the multi-colored one, and the pink
one… “Uhm, you do realize that your names sound like desserts or flavors of ice cream,
right?”
“ICE CREAM?! What flavor am I?!” Pinkie asked.
Dandy isn’t quite sure why she asked him that, but might as well give an obvious answer.
“Uhh… Pie Flavor?”
“YUMMY!!!!” Pinkie exclaims.
“Yeah….” he grins placatingly at her, not wanting anymore unnecessary attention. “Look,
Twilight Sprinkle, I really appreciate all you did for me and my crew for rescuing us from that
lunatic and returning my great pride to its natural glory… but we really need to go,” he says
to her, having already had enough of this crazy world of magical ponies and rock-obsessed
mares…
Twilight raises an eyebrow and thinks to herself ‘what did Princess Luna ever do to you?’
but just kept that thought to herself. “Okay uhh... hold on, I know you’re not a pony since QT over there told us what you are and where you came from… and about the vast space. I didn’t know at first there was life out there, when QT here told me all about your
misadventures…”
“Uhh, yeah…” was the only thing he can say. “Wait, what did you mean misadventures?!”
“Anyway, why is his name Cutie?” Pinkie Pie asked, wondering that for a bit now.
“Wait… what? My name isn’t Cutie… it’s QT! Two letters only!” The robot corrected, but no
matter what he says Pinkie will always call him Cutie.
“Come on, I’m tired… I miss Boobies, I want some R&R…” Dandy groans.
“Alright… I’ll send you back. Just tell me where you landed at first,” Twilight instructs him.
“Follow me…” he called for his two crewmates and goes out, followed by the other ponies.
While on the way, the Ponies begin to talk about the three starting with Rarity. “Hmm, I
wonder if they can share their knowledge about what’s the fashion out there. Maybe I can
ship some of my ideas so I may become a … cosmospolitan designer!” she asked the
others.
“That may be… I wonder if ah can ask them to advertise my apples out there as well?”
“Or my cakes?!” adds a bouncing Pinkie Pie.
“S-space might be a bit…scary.” Fluttershy shivers.
“Oh, come on! I always wanted to be a Space Mare! Yeah… Maybe I can kick up some
clouds there!” muses Rainbow Dash.
“Dear… there’s no “Clouds” in space, Dash,” Rarity points out.
The ponies started to argue now much to Twilight’s annoyance. She ignored them instead
and talked to Dandy. “So… who chased after you causing your fall from the river?”
Dandy scratches his head and thinks for a moment. “Hmm, I can’t remember… but she has
the same color as you and same hair style…. But without the horn and wings…”
“So, she’s an earth pony… Any idea why she’s after you?” She follows her question up.
“She wants to… cut something up.” Dandy answers vaguely. “Never mind, please don’t ask
I don’t want to remember that…”
“Okay, I’ll respect that…” Twilight sighs, realizing she’ll probably know who chased this
guy…
“Alright…” he stops. “This is the spot.”
Twilight was surprised that where Dandy had led them too was the same hole she and her
friends found earlier that has the odd imprint of some creature. “So you were the ones who
made the hole…” she says to herself.
“Okay, now that I led you here, please… our ship is just above us, can you return us there?”
he begged.
“Wait, if your ship is up here… can’t you just call it down can pick you up?” Twilight said,
hoping to see what kind of vehicle they were riding on. But again, it’s another failed hope.
“Oh, uhm, we would if it weren’t for that strange barrier that’s keeping it up there…” QT said.
“Strange… Barrier?” Rarity asked, getting her attention back at the three.
“Hmm… it must be the barrier Celestia and Luna put up a thousand years ago…” Twilight
said then looks back at QT. “Wait, then how did you manage to came here if that barrier
was preventing you to come in?”
QT answers. “Simple… Particle Transporter.”
“Say what?” Twilight tilts her head…
“It’s a Teleportation Device.” QT said, putting it in layman’s terms… or should that be
laypony, the robot suddenly wonders?
“I really need to know more about these things…” Twilight sighs.
“Time is money, sweetheart. We need to get going…” Dandy points up.
Twilight sighs again and nods. “Alright… stand together then.”
“Hey, thanks for everything… If you need any help, look me up…” Dandy tosses them an I-
pod.
Twilight was fascinated by this device and takes it. “Thanks… I’ll keep that in mind.” Twilight
said as she cast a spell to fling them back upwards to their ship. Dandy strikes a pose as he
slowly disappears until finally his gone.
“Well… that’s that.” Rainbow Dash huffs.
“I wish they had more time to tell me about their culture,” Rarity sighs in disappointment.
Twilight looks at the device and tinkers with it for a bit. “Hmm… Maybe they’ll come by next
time they’re around…” Twilight said as they walked off…
“Wait, what did he mean by, ‘Boobies’ earlier?” Pinkie asked curiously.
“Meh, probably another of their crew… They have weird names though,” Rainbow Dash
notes as they all nodded while walking back to town.
A bit later, Maud was panting as she stops on the spot where Dandy was sent back to his
ship. She stomps her hooves and pouts. Not able to get what she wished for… she dragged
herself away sadly, planning to go back home.
Dandy, Meow and QT materializes back to their ship and gave out a yell of relief. “Yeah!
Finally! I missed you shippy…” He said, kneeling down to the floor and kissing it a few
times. “You know, now that I think about it, I haven’t really used my Dandy gun during our
time down there…” He thinks for a moment then shrugs it off. “Come on, QT! Fly us back to
Boobies!” he suggested while smiling widely as he sits back his recliner.
“Aye, aye!” QT agreed and sets course back to Boobies in a flash. At that same time, Dr.
Gel and Bea just missed Dandy by a millisecond and popped at top of the planet where the
Aloha Oi used to hover not long ago..
* * * * *
“Is this the place?” Dr. Gel asks, checking the monitors next to Bea.
“Yes, we’re here… and that’s the planet down there…” Bea points.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Land this thing so we can check him there!” Gel ordered but
Bea shook his head. “Why not?!” Gel demands to know.
“I would, but something is preventing us from landing to that planet! See?” He showed him
how the landing hub had frozen! “The ship can’t be set down on the planet.”
“Then how in the name of Gogol are we going down there to check things out?!”
Bea thinks for a moment then comes up of a plan. “What about the portal gate you’ve been
working on? You said so yourself… it’s fully armed and operational.” Bea suggests.
Dr. Gel nods and raises his hands then said. “Prepare the Gel portal!” he orders his crew
and they do so.
“Gel…portal?” Bea raises an eyebrow.
“What? I made this thing and I can name it anyway I want, am I right? Besides it’s sexy this
way…” Gel grins and flares his nose while puffing up some steam out of it.
“Whatever you say…” Bea just sighs and walks off towards the portal… Gel followed him
then enters first without another word. The portal flashed as he entered while Bea watched,
he then entered a second later after his boss went in and ended up on an earth like surface.
“Dr. Gel?” He looks around but can’t seem to find his boss…
Suddenly, a scream filled the area as Bea looks over and ran towards the source of that
sound. He reaches a clearing and sees Dr. Gel standing there; he was facing away from
him. “Dr. Gel? What’s the matter?!” Bea asked.
“M-My sexy gems!” Gel said, looking at him while shivering like a leaf.
“You’re what?” Bea walks closer and sees what he means. “Good LORD, man!”
“I… I was taking a leak when a darn chicken-snake popped out of nowhere and turns this,
into a monstrosity!” Gel points down at his baloogas. “Of the entire darn places of my body,
WHY THIS!?” he weeps openly.
“I… I’m sure we’ll figure something out… Let’s go back in the ship and…” Bea stops mid-
sentence when he spots a small horse looking at them. By the looks of it, it seems to be
female. The horse then looks down and sees something that made her grin. “Uhh…” For
some reason, Bea wasn’t feeling comfortable with her presence.
The horse walks over to them while still wearing that grin, then points to the petrified thing
and said to them…
“Can I help you with that?”
(Additional Ending Theme)
Author's Note
As Promised, this is the Space Dandy Cross Over... Thanks to my Editors and Proofreaders. Firesight and MrE
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/MrE and http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Firesight
Japanese anime series produced by Bones. (I Do not own Space Dandy or MLP, all Characters and said trademarks are in their respective owners... All rights reserved.)
