Blackie wants some Big Macdonalds
Hello everypony this is Blitz lightning. I am the one who has written the somewhat bad but otherwise good to my fans and myself stories but that aside this is just a side project for my true fans. Well Today I am going to tell you all a story of what happened to my friend Blackie. Well he wanted to play with the balls at Big Macdonalds and things don't go as he wanted them to go. Oh, and did I mention that he gets mad, and can be a smartass, real easy. Well here we go.
Blackie woke up feeling happy as ever. For once he didn't feel immediate anger. He hopped out of bed and walked through his hallways cluttered with useless junk that he refused to throw away. He then noticed that he had a Big Macdonalds Coupon sitting on his junk on the floor. His eyes widened and the only way to make this the best day of his life was to get a Veggie Burger from the best place on earth. He picked it up and ran outside not taking a shower or brushing his teeth or using any kind of personal hygiene he ran. Running through the crowed of ponies he dropped his coupon. This now became a mission to find the thing. He looked frantically around for the coupon. He saw something through the corner of his eye. It was his coupon. He ran for it and just when he went to grab it the same fat white pony who knocked him over on his way to StarswirlBucks randomly sits down on top of it. Blackie was now determined to get that coupon.
"Hey get your fat ass up off my Luna damned coupon you ugly jawed bitch!" He yelled again surprisingly not causing a scene. The pony just looked at him, stood up and trotted away. Blackie picked up his coupon and it smelled like ass. That wasn't good. His day was going down hill like he knew in the back of his mind. He walked angrily to Big Macdonalds and walked in. It smelled good. Like grease and shit but still good. He walked up to the counter and saw Applejack. Now what a pleasant sight.
"Hey Applejack can you get me a Big Macdonalds Sandwiches?" He asked as his anger faded.
"Yes'm that'll be two bit sir." She said. She looked bored. Blackie just handed her the coupon. She must have noticed it smelled like ass from the facescrunthing she did. She left and came back with two veggie burgers and handed them to him. He took them and sat down. He ate both of those burgers in like two seconds. He thought he could have been in the Equestrian Veggie Burger Eating Contest if that even exist. He sucked the grease off one hoof until he noticed a play pin with balls. He was attracted to it like bugs to a light. He walked over and opened the door and face planted into the balls. He loved the balls. There were other ponies in the play pin. But he felt like the only one. He threw the balls high letting them fall back down on his face. He started throwing balls at other ponies. Then he saw Applejack who still looked bored come in and walked up to him.
"Ima sorry sir but you can't be in dah play pin and with dem balls." She firmly states. Blackie looked at her like she was crazy.
"What do you mean I can't be in here?" He said back in a higher pitched voice. His smart mouth was about to activate.
"Your to old ta be in here sir." She stated again.
"Oh, I'm to old? My coupon was old but now sense I want to play with some balls I'm to old? I can play where the fuck I wanna ta play. Now I know that ain't the real problem. So what is it? What's the real problem?" Blackie questioned. Applejack just sighed.
"Now I have never lied but sir the real reason why ya can't be in dah play pin is cause your to big. What are ya like 400 pounds?
"400 pounds? Bitch, did you look in a mirror this morning your about 650!" Blackie yelled echoing in the play pin. Big Mac walked in just then.
"What's goin on here?" He asked.
"Your bitch trynna tell me to leave the damn play pin." Blackie said angrily.
"Yup." Big mac said. Blackie knew what he was saying.
"Awwwwwww HELL NAW YOU BITCHES AREN'T KICKING MY ASS OUT I WANT TO PLAY WITH THE DAMN BALLS! I GOT BALL WHY CAN"T I PLAY WITH SOME?! HUH BITCH?! I JUST GAVE YOU MY COUPON BITCH I DESERVE MY PLAY TIME BITCH!" Blackie screamed to the top of his lungs. Big mac just grabbed him and dragged him. Blackie just kicked and screamed curses so bad that they aren't part of my vocabulary. They threw Blackie out and Applejack stick her tongue out at him. Blackie sat there for a second and realized something. Something great. He didn't need Big Macdonalds. He trotted home happy about every action he did with no regrets. He was sweaty and smelled like poop. But that didn't matter. He just went to sleep on his bed for his afternoon nap. And when he woke up from that nap he cleaned. Actually clean his room. It was going to get dirty again by nightfall but he didn't care. He knew that he didn't need the Apple Family. He needed himself and that was it.
And that was the story that my friend Blackie told me when he went to Big Macdonalds. I don't know if it is true but I know it wasn't nearly as funny as the time he told me the story about StarswirlBucks. The end.
