Friendship is Magic (scottish version)

Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria. There were two Glaswegian sisters who ruled the land. The eldest, used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at 3 PM since that's when most ponies woke up. The youngest,used her unicorn powers to raise the moon at 6 AM since that's when most ponies went to bed. Thus the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their posse and all the different types of ponies but as time went on the younger sister became pissed that every one loved her sisters street gang but totally ignored her hardcore punk gang. One fateful night. The youngest sister refused to lower her moon for work day. As it was Sunday and a lot of ponies had work in the morning. The elder sister tried to reason with her but the hardcore punk music she listed to had turned her into a wicked being. An English person! She vowed that she would showed the land in eternal night. Reluctantly, The elder sister harnessed the most power magic known to ponydom: The Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony. She defeated her younger sister and banished her permanently on the moon. The eldest sister took on responsibility for both sun and moon as well as both gangs and harmony and morrisons has been maintained in Equestria for generations since.

"Hmmmmm...... Morrisons? Am sure ave heard of those before" Twilight said rubbing her chin.

Twilight needed to get home as the new episode of Jeremy Kyle was about to start but she was stopped by three neds.

"Their ya are ya wank" The first ned said.

Were been lookin everywhere fir ya" Said the second ned. With needle marks on her legs so obvious she might as well just wear a shirt saying "I'm a heroine addict!"

"Wee Jim is havin a wee party about the new Wu Tang Clan album comeback their havin, wanna come?"

"Oh sorry girls." Twilight said really wanting to get home and have a cuppa. "Ave got some of that game of thrones to catch up on."

Twilight said this before galloping away with some mental pace. She clearly is used to running from things.

"Does that pony do anything but watch t.v.?" The Heroine addicted ned said.

"A hink shes more interested than the BBC news than she is about friends" Said the other ned before walking off.

"A know ave heard of morrisons before" Twilght said running through Canterlot.

"Spike! Spike ya cunt!" Twilight said looking for her friend.

Spike the dragon got up rubbing his head after being knocked down from twilight.

"Spike?"

Spike was only a wee wean after all and needed to be treated differently. He was only aloud half the amount of vodka Twilight could have.

"Quick, Git that old book on modern day super markets."

Twilight noticed spike had a needle in his tale injected with what looked like heroine.

"What's that for?" Twilight asked looking confused to how he got heroine for free.

"It wiz a gift fae some ned lookin fir ya" Spike ungratefully said.

"Fuckin hell Spike, You know we dinny have time fir that when Jeremy Kyle is on"

"But the new seasons shite" Spike proclaimed angrily.

Twilight went through all the channels trying to find Jeremy Kyle.

"No,No,No, SPIKE YA WANK!!"

"103 ya prossie!"

Twilight sat and read the modern day supermarket book while Jeremy Kyle was on.

"Morrisons,Morrisons, M,M,M... Ah!"

Twilight read out loud the words she was looking at. As if on a 240UG acid tab.

"Half price on gammin steak!" Twilight said while reading some of the sub-headings.

"Half price on gammin steak but that's just and old pony's tale"

The words: See Mare on the moon were written on the page.

"Mare,mare, Aha! A wicked mare who wanted to bring doon her sisters gang and spread night time eternal... or some shite" Twilight read out to Spike.

"Di ya know whit this means"

"Nut?" Spike said looking confused at Twilight, Most likely because of the high amount of heroine he was coming down off.

"Send a tweet tae the princess will ya?" Twilight ordered Spike without a second to loose.

"Aye aight," Spike grabbing his nokia he got from Tesco.

"Dear princess-"

"How di ya spell princess?"

"P-r-i-n-c-e-s-s or sumthin a doh no"

"Sound" Spike said being happy learning a new word.

"That fuckin face on the moon is gonna come back an start makin everthin awe dark in punk in shit, fuckin Ukip might as well run the place. Gonna help me git rid a her when she shows up. Yir mate, Twilight"

"Right that's it sent but member a had ti shorten it cause their wiz only 140 letters alow in ma tweet, should a send it now"

"Aye course you should send it ya mong, why no?"

"Cuz the princess is busy plannin that sun thing, and it like in two days or sumin"

"Aye but that's when the moon bitch returns a hink,"

"Right cool, A sent it right"

@sungod1

Twilight says she needs tae see ya aboot some moon bitch or somethin, says it important,

Spike.

"Bet she'll no believe yi ya junkie"

"Aye she will, shut it you"

@sungod1 @willgiveheedforchips

Aye a heard aboot that,just a bunch a pot head conspiracy theorys. Nuthin to shite yourself aboot.

-Princess