Not So Different, You and I: The First Date
I tapped my foot furiously on the green grass, wondering how long its been. I looked down at my wrist where my non-existent watch was. It seems that it was about five minutes since that breezie left. Really? Has it been that long, it feels like I've been here for five hours. What is with my mind going into the future, if only I could go with it.
So, if its been five minutes, then that means that I have twenty-three hours and fifty-five minutes until that beautiful bug comes back. Now I had to admit, I was starting to get a feeling for this girl, and that was rare for a changeling. The queen doesn't even want relationships with other po-
Oh right, she wasn't a pony, wait, didn't I say that before. Either way, that bug was something special. I never knew I could have such feelings for her, feelings like joy, and happiness, and lo-
*BELCH*
Or maybe it was just my stomach! “I know your full stomach,” I yelled “so will you just SHUT UP for one day, I know for a fact that” I checked my non-existent watch again. “in about twenty-three hours and fifty-four minutes you’ll be getting a second serving of love.” But don't think I’m doing this just for the love, This is the real stuff, true feelings for someone, sure at first she was the only thing that was close to me when I needed food, and I was practically going to take anything at the time, but now it was like I...Well...I….I wasn't really sure how to say it. I guess I just...liked her. Maybe even more than that.
I looked around the forest. It was still the same as when I entered it, nothing but trees and bushes, and a flower patch, and that flower patch was still looking lovely, with all its bright flowers and the sunlight shining just right on it. It looked like the perfect place where two creatures could have a...date.
Hey, yeah. That's perfect! This will be where we will have our first date, that’s how you impress someone you like right? And she did say ‘same place, same time’ so this will be perfect, but somethings missing. I don’t think a date has just flowers and sunlight though, I mean, I remember in seducing practice that flowers were something you would need, but I know there's more. Ah seducing practice, I started remembering just what it was like.
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“Now remember hatchlings! male or female, both sides know that they cannot resist gifts when it comes to love. For a gift is a way to get to the heart”
The changeling instructor pointed at a chalkboard where a diagram of a pony with a heart drawn in it, and with an arrow pointing at it, with a present on the other end of the arrow.
One of the changelings raised their hoof. “Does that hurt them?” He asked.
“What? No! The gift doesn't literally go to the heart, it was metaphorically speaking.”
Another changeling asked. “So how do we get these gifts?”
The instructor chuckled. “Well hatchling, you must get these gifts while no one is looking, for bits is not something changelings have on hoof, so be sure the pony you’re trying to love doesn't watch this, as well as the pony you stole from.”
The same changeling that asked about the gift asked. “Isn't that stealing?”
The instructor gave him a stern look. “Son, you’re going to have to learn that sometimes you need to do bad things for the greater good, understand.”
The changeling scratched his head. “I think so.”
The instructor shook his head.”You’re a strange one hatchling.”
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I had to admit, I was a pretty strange changeling at the time. I was always asking questions on what to do in a combat situation, cause all I did in combat was flail my hooves around, hoping to hit something. It wasn't like I was gonna use that tactic in real life anyway.
Even when we were practicing on how to ‘properly’ disguise. How is there a ‘proper’ way to do that? As I said before, ponies rarely look at detail when it comes to disguises, so why would someling teach you to go so in depth in that part of training.
And why did we even do that attack in the first place, it wasn't like we were starving or anything, we were perfectly fine getting love on our own, sure the rate of love coming into the hive hasn't been going good over the years, and its even worse today, but we should of at least talk to them, but I guess the only reason the queen didn't ask was because she didn't want someone to slap her in the face and call her perverted...Or was that me they said that to?
I shook my head. had to get my mind back on track, what was it that I was talking about before I went into that past memory, or was it called a flashback? Either way, I think I was talking about setting up something, something impor-
DATE!
Yes. Date. That's what it was, I need to set it up for her. But how will I do it? I don’t know the first thing about this, I never took notes in that class, maybe I can have another flashback.
…
…
…
Any time now brain! Come on! Tell me something.
The stupid grey organ, at least I think it was grey, just ignored me and continued telling me other things, like stuff I need for a date, and that stuff is usele-
I then forgave my brain and started thinking of things to bring for this date. I looked around for something that I could use to write this down, but there was nothing but bushes and trees, Why is those the only things in this place? Can’t there be vines or exotic plants here? I just sighed and grabbed a piece of bark from the wood, maybe I can use this for paper and my tooth for a pen, that might work.
I sat down and thought about what to bring. “Lets see.” I said out loud. “A bouquet of flowers is a nice thing to get on a date.” I then brought my tooth to the bark and began ‘writing.’ I knew this was gonna make my tooth sore for days, but I knew it was worth it.
When I was done writing, I looked at my handy work. I then turned it sideways, then upside down. “Hu?...I guess that not how you spell bouquet.”
I tossed the bark away, knowing that this was starting to become a complete waste of time. I guess I’m just gonna have to remember it by memory, I sighed.
I looked back up at the flower patch, I knew that in about twenty-three hours and forty something minutes that I will be in that flower patch...with her, and we’ll be doing things like….Uh...Like talking….and uh….holding hooves? Her hooves are pretty small, so how would that work? Well, what else would we do. We could look up at the sky, though the sun could make that a problem.
I just shrugged and started galloping away, I could worry about what we'll be doing at a later time, I knew my way out of this forest. That was something I was good at. Now lets find that first gift for that beautiful breezie of mine.
Not So Different, You and I: The First Date
Step one: Get the flowers
*FWOSH*
Nah...too big.
*FWOSH*
Nope. Not enough color.
*FWOSH*
I don’t things wings are supposed to be at that angle.
*FWOSH*
The magic green fire that swarmed around me died down as I looked into the pond again. All I saw was the same blue eyed, black skinned changeling that always looked at me when I saw my reflection, he looked a little bit irritated, it was starting to make me irritated to.
I sighed, there has to be the perfect disguise to use. I do not want other ponies finding me out this time, because what I am doing right now is very important. I need to get a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and a suit, all from the nearby town. If I remember correctly, those things go perfectly with a date.
I took a deep breath. I got this, I can do this, It just takes a little fire and magic, I concentrated and lit a green fire around me again, I closed my eyes and thought about what I should look like, my character should be regular, so no wings or horns. He should have a good mane that isn’t too long or too short. My face should be average, don’t want other girls trying to love me when I’m trying to impress another one. and my color should be not too noticeable, I don’t want to stick out like a bent wing now.
I began feeling the fire surround me, getting every feature that I thought of, the tail, the mane, the legs and arms, feet and hooves, the eyes and nose, the body with not too much fat, the color with just enough...uh color, and finally the size of the-
Wait, I don’t need to worry about that now. I’ll wait until after the date to worry about that.
As the flame died down I looked straight into the pond at my hoofwork.
I. Was. Perfect.
I got every feature, every color, every strand of hair, everything looked perfect in my eyes. I couldn’t believe I pulled it off, this time I actually cared about the details, I didn’t see any holes in my arms, or any fins in my hair or tail, and my wings were nowhere to be seen. I just hoped that they will be back when I drop the disguise.
I smiled. Knowing that now I would have no trouble getting those gifts. “Now I just have to get there.”
I turned around and made my way to the nearest town.
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“Welcome to ponyvile”
Hu? What a weird name for a town, why would they name it after their own kind? Do other towns do that?
I could never understand these ponies, with the weird towns and customs. How is it that one kind controls the food, and another controls the weather, and the last one controls the magic. What's with all their self respect to each other, you’d think there would be a war against them by now, I mean, come on! The unicorns are obviously the most powerful type of pony, they could practically control all of the other races, that includes the fliers and ground walkers, they could control the weather just fine, and planting could be easy for them, thats why I never understood those books about them. I don’t even know why we stole them in the first place if the information that they gave us were completely-
*SMACK*
My head went into a daze as I realized I was walking the entire time I was thinking about this, and that I smacked into a random pony.
The pony was brown with a mane that did not match his character, so I’d rather not describe it. He rubbed his head and said. “Watch where you’re goin’ pal!”
I knew exactly what to say when a situation like this. You must straighten yourself, give a smile, and say. “How about you watch where you’re goin’ pal” I knew I pulled it off correctly, cause what should happen next is-
*SMACK*
I felt a hoof come to my face at a speed that would probably make it a punch, weird, he should of been running away. As I fell to the ground I realized you were supposed to say that to ponies who were weaker than you. I was just glad the guy grunted and continued walking, leaving me to help myself up and spit some red stuff out of my mouth, its so strange how that happens whenever I get hurt like this, or when I get cut by something. All I can say is this.
That was a pretty nice greeting to this town.
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“Flowers, flowers, flowers. Where would you be.” I continued to mumble to myself in trying to find some form of flower in this place. I didn’t want any off the ground, I remember that you had to be official, that means getting a bouquet of them, and out of all these venders on this street, theres bound to be one that sells.
“Flowers over here! Get them for your loved ones or soon to be loved ones with a bountiful bouquet with a wide variety of colors.”
My ear stems tried their best to figure out who said that, I looked in all directions to, but all I saw were ponies selling so many strange things, objects and food that I couldn’t even describe, and there was one who was selling bouquets, now how would you make a living off of that. I shrugged and made my way to….
The bouquet stand so fast that the pony selling them there almost fell on her back. “You sell flowers!?” I yelled a bit too loudly.
The mare got up on her hooves and dusted her yellow fur off, while adjusting her straight brown mane. “Y-yes.” She said still in a daze, was her head not use to falling or something, changelings are masters at falling, that was one of the things we did while we attacked, at least we were good at that. Finally she shook herself and stared at me. “What kind were you looking for.”
I immediately started sweating. Was that some sort of code. “Um, I was...looking for...uh..” I started looking at the wide variety of flowers, in each bouquet there was a different combination of colors, but there was one that was perfect.
There was a bouquet with red, white, and pink flowers all in one, It was perfect, it practically matched that breezie’s color. I had to get it. I pointed at them and said. “That one please.”
“Very well, that’ll be five bits.”
“Five whats?” I questioned, what the heck are bits, is that some sort of food?
“Bits, you know, the coins that you use to pay for stuff.”
My mind put the pieces together as I realized what she meant. I remembered there being some sort of currency system with these ponies, I don’t understand why someling would make a system like that, it could lead to some seriously bad things. “Uh...I don't have any.” I said with a frown.
The frown seemed to faze her and she just said. “No bits, No bouquet. Sorry” She put the flowers back on the shelf. I just kept the same face and walked away slowly, as soon as I got out of her sight I started looking around. In training, there was always a move that you had to use in order to get what you need. Its a risky move, but it works. The commander even made a saying for it
When in doubt, knock ‘em out.
Now I just needed to find the perfect object to knock her out. I glanced over at a cart full of weird red things, they were almost shaped like hearts, if the heart had a stem on it. I took one out of it and narrowed my eyes at the flower mare, I smiled and started to take aim, I leaned back and-
“What in the hay do you think you’re doin’”
I dropped the apple, I could have sworn I heard that voice before, it sounded rustic yet feminine, which reminds me, why are there so many mares here. When I was walking here, I only saw like five stallions, what's the deal with that.
“Are ya gonna turn around and answer me or-”
I turned around with my eyes closed, intent on answering this in the most delicate way possible. All I need to say is that I was using the the weird red thing for target practice, a lie like that works almost all the time. I opened my mouth and eyes and said. “I was merely trying t-t-t-ta-a-tah-t-tah.”
I could barely breath, think, move, or say anything. What were the chances of this happening? And what was even worse was how it was happening to me. This pony was one that I never wanted to meet again in my life. A pony that some say her hind legs could kill, and her hat had the ability to cut when thrown. She was one of the most dangerous ponies that the queen told us never to confront. And she was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
It was an element bearer.
And If I did my homework right she was the one with that honesty stuff. I was just sort of relieved to know it was only the third most dangerous, right next to the pink and purple one, but this orange one was still trouble. She knocked out some of my brothers teeth, almost all of them, but at least love isn't chewable for us. I still felt bad for that sibling. I mean, when you’re born with something like that-
“Ahem?”
My mind snapped back into attention as I saw that same orange mare giving me a glare that could kill. I still couldn’t figure out what to say. “Um…….I….uh...was...just…..uh….” I was deciding whether to run away or just die on the spot. “I...was...usingitfortartegpractice” I managed to blurt my lie out and give a smile so fake a filly would know I’m lying. Hopefully her element won't see right through me.
“Really, cause it looked like you were tryin’ tah steal it?” The orange mare looked straight into my eyes. I felt like I was on the verge of just coming straight out and say I’m a changeling, she probably already figured it out by now anyway, and she was just testing me.
“I-I-I was g-g-gonna give it b-back.” What was with my stuttering, I never acted like this, not even when I was confronting guards, this mare must have the ability to make others stutter with fear.
“Where ya gonna do that before or after ya ate it?” She said the sternest tone of voice. Even the queen didn’t talk to us this sternly when she was on a rant.
“B-before?” I didn’t really know how to answer that question. Doing that just made the mare sigh.
“If ya wanted some, ya could of asked. Their a bit a piece.” She grabbed the red heart thing and tossed it into the cart with the others.
What was it with these ponies and bits. “I don’t have any of these ‘bits’” I said.
“Well, thats a shame.” She then moved along with her cart and left me sitting here. I then proceeded to fall on my back, panting.
“That was way too close.” I said to myself. “If she stayed for another minute or two she would of found me out.” I stood back up and looked around, not many ponies were around me, thankfully, but there was nothing else to use to knock out that flower mare. Wait? Is that what I’m doing right now? I couldn’t remember, so I just stood up and, out of boredom, kicked a rock.
Which ended up ricocheting off of a few objects, a barrel, a fruit stand, a table, the side of a building, a hat from a pony, until it finally smacked the flower pony in the head.
I gasped and quickly ran over to her. I jumped over the stand and held her in my arms. “I-I didn’t mean it! How was I supposed to know my kicking skills were too high for a rock to handle...hello?” She must of been out cold, I felt so bad for her. That was until I realized I was supposed to do that in the first place. I grinned and dropped her on the ground. I turned around and reached for the perfect bouquet of red white and pink flowers.
“Um...e-excuse me?” A voice that was way too soft to even be a voice said to me.
I sighed and turned around, knowing how this was gonna go. I’ve done this so many times, usually it was because I knocked out the pony in the first place. I seem to always find myself taking the position of a pony. a mailmare, or a train driver, or even a guard one time. That was horrible, but it always started with making me change into them and do their own job, which I then fail miserably at, and then they fire me. At least they didn’t know I was a changeling at the time, but I just get so sick of it. So who was this pony who decided to……..
Oh no…
“Um...I-I was just wondering If I could buy one of those bouquets. I-if you don’t mind, that is.”