Fuck you Anon's!

by Soul_Seeker

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Tragedy, Gore, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Main 6, Silver Spoon, Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 1326

A brony gets transported to Equestria, big shock, right? But this guy has a little more of a problem.

Anon here has a little problem. And by little problem, I mean every mare in town isn't after his vast knowledge of Human tech. Looks like this human will play a big roll in their heat this year.

Published 2014-05-08 16:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-08 16:20:03 UTC

Chapter Name

"Well, looks like this is it." I can't think about those stupid retches any more. They proved what they were to me, and now this is all that's left. "I seriously thought they would try and save me... Oh well, at least this will be fun to watch!"

Telling myself for the last time, I set up the mirror perfectly to the chair and beam. I ties the noose almost on instinct, (After practicing so many times, how could I not?) wrapping the thick rope around and around, one last weave, and there it is.

I smiled at my work; only a crazy man could make this work. Glad to know that's what I am!

"Now, lets make this a snug fit." I told myself, putting it around my neck and tightening it to make sure no air escapes. "Oh boy, I can see myself smiling just from this!"

One last little adjustment and it's perfect.

I swung the rope over the beam and tied it on tightly, looking down at the chair below my feet and thinking back to only thing that ever brought me happiness; MLP FIM...

"Here we go~" My last words on Earth as I kicked the chair out and dangled, watching myself cling to life for a moment longer, until... Nothing. Darknes-

"Look at, THAT" What?! Who's in he-

"Holy fuuuuuuck!" I toppled down from an apple tree and smacked my head on the large roots. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yelled, pulling out apples from my shirt and pant leg.

I dusted clothes off and stood up, gaping at the colours around me. Not to mention the god damn APPLEJACK!?

I was at a loss of words. There, standing before me with a slack jaw to match my own was the apple bucking pony herself... Why is her face red?

"Y-you're... Appl..e Jack."

"You know my name, sexy?"

WHAT?

"Uhhm, did you just call me-"

I was tackled to the ground with AJ on top of me, hooves holding my arms down.

"You're the only stallion I've seen in a week, hot stuff! You ain't slipping passed me!" And like that I was rewarded with my first pony kiss. Mind you I am not happy about it being a raping kiss.

"The fuck is going on?!" I flipped her over me and stood up, already scared to death.

"I said, you ain't gett'in awa-" All I can see is a mass of rainbow smack into the orange rapist. "GOSH DANGIT. WHAT ARE Y'AH DO'IN, RAINBOW?"

"Like I'm letting you take him!"

Wut...

She looked back at me with her magenta eyes that said love, but her crazed smile said run.

And run I did.

"Where'd he go!?"

"How would I know? You're the one who said your tracking spell would work like nothing!"

"It should be! It says he's in Bon Bon's house!"

"Then what are we waiting for, girls? Lets nab us a stallion!"

Smashing through Bon Bon's front door like a pack of hungry lions they ran up stairs and broke into her room, seeing me tied to the bed with Lyra licking my fingers and Bon Bon sitting on my face.

"How can you do that to him!?"

"What? like you wouldn't do the same, Sparkle."

"No, I mean, he's OURS!"

Oh sweet merciless lord...

Bon Bon hopped off my face and stood like she was ready to charge, Lyra still sucking on my thumb while standing next to me with her horn lit up.

Like really? She can't even stop for a fucking second?!

"Lyra."

"Mmmm..."

"Lyra!"

"Mmmm, tastes like him~"

"LYRA!"

"OKAY ALREADY!" Spitting out my thumb and walking up to her counterpart she glared at the mane six.

"We're not letting yo-" And like that I was untied and flung out the fucking glass window with spinters sticking into my arms.

"Twilight, what if he's hurt?!"

"Don't worry, his face, hands, and dick are fine."

"Oh, then take out the lesbos and lets go!"

Owww... I think those crazy horses just broke my arm.

"I have to get out of this town before more see me! Estrus isn't what those damn fanfics said it was!"

I lifted my body out of the glass and windowsill, darting off towards the Everfree, not knowing a pink pony was hot on my trail.

"Ohhh mister, 'has a dick', I think you're coming with me!"

"OH GOD NO, NOT THE PINK ONE!" I screamed and ran as fast as I could over the hills of Ponyville, looking back and seeing her just hopping after me at a steady pace. "NOO! PLEASE NOT HER."

I climbed a large tree and hiding in the foliage the best I could, I curled into a ball and began rocking back and forth.

"I want that cock~" HOLY FUCK.

I bolted out of the tree and ran back into the town, climbing the side of town hall and hiding behind the chimney.

"Why... WHY!?"

"Because that dick needs to be mine." I flipped out and grabbed Pinkie, tossing her down onto the road and watching her leg crack.

"OH SHIT, MY BAD!" That's when she cracked it back in to place and started walking up to me with blood leaking from her leg. "WHAT IN THE HELL?"

*BOOM*

Holy shit! Was that Scootaloo?! Looking behind me at the chimney I was staring at a blood splatter with small wings buzzing. "OH SWEET FUCK."

Twilight called up to me from down on the road, "This won't end until that thing's inside me!"

And that's when I saw Rarity, Twilight, and Lyra light up their horns and start flinging more children at me. Foalish unicorns started flying like torpedos, pegasi started dive bombing me as I rolled and leapt out of the way; Town hall almost in ruin already.

"What is it with you mares?!"

"WE NEED COCK" They all shouted at me in unison.

Ponies climbing the side of the building, I had to kicked off. I saw Cheerilee leading a troop of school kids to cover the back and form a pyramid of horny children to topple over and try again and again.

Fires and tornadoes began springing up around the town, a tidal wave shook the lake nearby and sent it crashing down at the ponies under me.

Blood stained the walls of the building I was seeking refuge on. I sat down, exhausted with having to keep an entire town of mares at bay and looked at the sky; blue and clear...

I blinked in denial, closing my eyes tightly and opening them again. "No... NO, COME ON, THIS ISN'T FAIR!" I screamed at the heavens.

TWO. TWO GOD DAMN MYSTICAL PRINCESSES WITH LUST DRIVEN EYES ARE CREATING A BUBBLE OF MAGIC AROUND THE TOWN.

"No escape... No reprieve.. NO SANITY HERE EITHER!"

"Last stop; PONYVILLE!"

I whipped my head around at the sound of the train and conductor pulling into the station and almost felt tears fill my eyes.

The entire male population of Ponyville was existing the train. And they saw the blood soaked, ravaged town. And quickly ran back on...

"TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

Apparently my scream reached the mares and they all looked at the train slowly trying it's best to pull out and flee. And now the pack of mares left after the assault on me, began running and filling the train in a matter of seconds... No stop on the Rape Train, fools...

Their screams of terror and agony filled me ears as I slumped off the roof and made a break for the Everfree.

"Fuck this entire WORLD! As from now on, I have decided to live out the remainder of my life in the mountains as a goat."

Terrible End.

Author's Note

And yes. Before anyone flails to me; this IS a joke. I'm doing a bunch of one shots to keep my mind open.