"I have to get to Canterlot at once!" Twilight said as the missive fell to the ground. "As soon as Mr. Olde gets back send him straight to bed. Same for his companions."

"I don't usually sleep on a schedule," the prototype pointed out. Flageye began to snore obnoxiously next to him. "I can certainly sleep better than him."

Spike groaned. "You just got back! Can't we at least have dinner?"

She grimaced. "Sorry Spike, we'll have to make up for it later." With that, she hugged him goodbye and teleported away. The dragon sighed and went back to the counter. He began to knead the dough once more with a frown. Flageye stopped snoring, and watched the hypnotic movements of the pasty ball. Eventually, Spike judged it to be ready for the next step, and set it up to rise. He washed his claws and walked over to the two guests. "Could I go on an adventure with you?" Spike asked.

"Sure, where did you have in mind?" Prototype 626 asked gamely. The dragon thought for a bit. He glanced at Flageye. Flageye stared back at him. "Go ahead, take your time," the prototype sniped, "it's not like we have 90 seconds until Mr. Olde stops us or anything!" His spikes began to glow.

"Someplace weird," Spike finally said.

The prototype rolled his eye. "Someplace weird, coming up. Make sure you're touching me before I vanish."

"Flageye?"

"Wouldn't dream of leaving you behind, little buddy!"

***

Perspicuity's home was situated between rolling hills of grain, a few miles away from the center of town. His secret was safe out here, and he could burn as much gas as he wanted without anyone noticing. If he needed to survive for hours on his electric reserves it was possible, and this way they would never see his emissions as long as he left town before nightfall. "Alright, it's time," Perspicuity told himself. His engine roared all the way up the hill, then he glided down the other side; he could charge his reserves by about a quarter on the way down each hill. At the bottom of the fourth, Perspicuity smelled ozone and backed away from it slowly. In a flash, three aliens appeared in front of him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Hi, I'm Spike!" the scaly one said, holding out a claw to shake. Perspicuity's mother always said not to be rude, so he silently held out a wheel. "We got a friendly one!"

"Lucky," the metal one grumbled.

"Flageye flag eye flag flag eye flageye," the stereotypical alien among their number interjected.

"Alright. Greetings! I am Prototype 626, but you can call me Barley!"

"Flageye!" At this, Perspicuity raised his eyebrows higher, then passed out. "Flag!"

Spike shook his head. "No, you weren't the most frightening. It was Barley!"

"Says the guy with sharp teeth and claws!"

"Flag?"

"The alien will be fine," Spike reasoned. "We just have to hide before they come to." He walked out into the field, dragging the prototype behind him. Flageye followed.

626 focused on the grain around them. "Hey, we're walking through my namesake!"

Spike shrugged. "Why did you pick that name anyways?"

Barley sighed. "It's been too long since I saw any nature, and I wanted to get back to my roots."

"Flag," Flageye said flatly.

"There's no such thing as a bad pun!" Barley said. Behind them, Perspicuity crept forward with a soft whirring sound. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. He had to make sure they were real. "Wow, that alien woke up fast!" Said alien froze.

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

"It's rich of you to call me an alien!" Perspicuity exclaimed as he burst out of the barley. "You're the ones without any wheels!"

"We come from a world where nobody sentient has wheels, actually," Barley explained.

"Flageye!"

"I was going to elaborate! Spike here lives in a land of ponies and other mythical creatures, Flageye is from a cave I found on my adventures, and I'm from a place where cars like you don't think at all." Perspicuity fainted again. Spike gave Barley a look.

"Don't drop it on him all at once like that."

"Flag flag!"

"Why are you guys teaming up on me?"

"Because it's your fault he fainted?"

"Sure, maybe the second time! But don't forget what Flageye did. Everybody is so quick to judge me, just because I'm a prototype created by an unstable artificial intelligence. Loads of well-adjusted people have that exact same origin story!"

"Flageye flag flageye."

"Yeah, like who?"

"Well there's...no, he was evil. Or um...well it wasn't exactly well-adjusted."

"See?"

"I'm sure there are plenty, I just can't think of them. You're really putting me on the spot here!"

"Flag flag flag."

"I'm sorry too."

"And I'm sorry I woke up the alien."

"You didn't-" Spike was interrupted by Perspicuity jolting back to consciousness with a yelp. The dragon spun to face him. "You're finally awake! You were trying to cross the border, right? Fainted twice but still stayed well away from the land of dreams." Flageye and Barley shared a perplexed look. "Stay a while, won't you? Show us your humble abode!"

Perspicuity stared. "Um..."

"He's not normally like this," Barley assured.

"Flag."

"Where's your sense of adventure? Haven't you played any Ogres and Oubliettes?"

"I don't play with anyone. There's never enough time," Perspicuity frowned.

The dragon gasped. "Never?"

"I have a lot of errands to run," the alien said as he backed towards the road, "you can wait here for me."

"Okay!" Spike said quickly. As soon as Perspicuity was out of sight, Flageye gave him a look. "No way. We're following that alien into town."

Barley gave him a another. "What if we cause a panic?"

"We won't! We'll be sneaky!"

***

"Why are we fixing the Griffin economy?" Mary asked.

"It wasn't my idea," Aria grumbled, "Ritornello is a goody two-shoes." The manticore glared at her. "It's an expression. I know you don't actually wear shoes."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Their currency is worth too much. There are all these bankeries," Aria nodded at them, "they turn goldos into bread."

"How?"

"I dunno, magic?"

"Magic doesn't exist," Mary said confidently. Ritornello laughed. Aria smirked.

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure!" Aria made a turning out pockets motion. Ritornello ran back to the central bank. The other two stopped on the cobblestone road. "Alright, I'll bet you fifty silveros."

"I don't have any silveros. What is that in dollars?"

"I guess since they're silver we can use 'em like dimes. You have five bucks, right?"

Mary actually turned out her pockets. "Nope, I must've left my wallet in that random patch of space next to a comet."

Aria groaned. "It's fine. I guess. You can just owe me." Ritornello emerged from the bank holding a burlap sack of goldos. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Let's go to the bankery and prove Mary wrong!"

"I hope you can read the-" Mary started to say, then trailed off as she took a closer look at Galen's Gruel.

"Sure can," Aria said smugly, "that one says 'Galen's Gruel: Bankery for the Distinguished Griffin.'" She pushed open the door and the scientist walked in. Ritornello followed her, and Aria brought up the rear.

"Good day," the griffin behind the counter said, "how many goldos would you like to have transmuted today?" Ritornello dropped a goldo on the counter. "The fee will come to ten goldos." The manticore's jaw dropped. She shot Aria a glance. The siren nodded. Mary eyed the dark wood panel floor. With a grumble, the manticore produced the currency.

"Excuse me," Mary put in, "is there a place for me to sit? Maybe a chair with a nice cushion?"

"We would never buy one of those tatty Prench-style chairs," the banker replied. He stacked the goldos and pulled a magic wand from under the counter. It was made of brass and inset with a ruby at the bottom. The scientist watched intently. He tapped twice, waited, then touched the goldo a third time with the wand. The golden coin turned into flour, which spread across the counter. It then collected into a cube of dough. The banker quickly adjusted the shape of it. Before Mary's eyes, the former coin rose into a bread roll.

"See?" Aria pointed at the roll. "Magic!"

Mary shook her head. "That's impossible."

Aria grinned. "My good griffin, your services have been most helpful." Ritornello turned towards the door. The siren cleared it. The human didn't move. She picked up the roll. It smelled fresh. Felt warm. Turning the impossible bread over in her hand, Mary left Galen's Gruel.

***

Luna and her party were trekking through the forest of blue trees. "Twilight has definitely been to this planet," she assured them.

"Um, if it's okay with you, could we follow the plan and pick everypony else up? Rainbow Dash doesn't like waiting."

"I can't leave you defenseless in this dangerous place."

"C'mon, we'll be fine! Applejack is stronger than some mean old giant bird."

"Sure am. Even if I'm not, we have Fluttershy with us. She'll have the critter eating out of her hoof in no time!" Luna mulled it over. She spotted a cave mouth where Twilight's magic had been deployed. Somepony fell over behind her.

"What happened?"

"I dunno Princess, she just collapsed!"

"There aren't any creepy crawlies around."

"I'll be right back with some water, you two try to awaken her." Luna took off. Her eyes scanned the woods for some time. Here and there among the trees she saw smaller creatures searching among the roots for nuts. They reminded her of the squirrels in parks back in Canterlot, but had innumerable legs with which to climb the trees. She noticed a group of them traveling together towards a clearing. The smaller ones began to drink from a stream of orange liquid while the larger one kept watch. Luna landed some distance away to avoid disturbing them. She lifted some of the liquid up in her magic. With her left fore-hoof, Luna picked up a stick and poked the sphere. There was a sizzle and some smoke. Pulling the stick back, she dropped it quickly. "Not water," she muttered, glancing at the squirrel-like creatures in shock. The Princess of the Night took wing. She returned to find Fluttershy breathing steadily, though still lying on the ground. Pinkie and Applejack were clacking rocks together to no avail. "That's enough," Luna hollered.

"She won't wake up," Pinkie cried, "I tried the pony pokey and everything!"

"Sorry Princess,"Applejack said as she took off her hat.

"It's alright. I shall enter her dream. This may be a magically induced sleep."

"Be careful," Applejack urged. Luna nodded as she settled down and closed her eyes. A pure white line of magic connected her forehead with Fluttershy's. "I still can't believe she c'n do that."

"Hey, it beats having bad dreams!"

"I guess. Ain't there something better she could do with all that magic?"

"That's what Twilight asked Discord!"

"I can picture how well that went," Applejack replied sardonically.

Pinkie giggle snorted. "He turned her chaos magic book into an aardvark!"

"I thought I could picture it," Applejack amended.

"Discord is so funny!" Pinkie said. "I wish I could see him more often." The rock by her foot turned into Discord.

"Your wish is my command," he intoned.

Pinkie's eyes widened. "Hiya Discord!"

"Why are you here?" asked an astonished Applejack.

"I was getting advice from Fluttershy."

"On another planet? While Luna was in her dream?"

"Luna had nothing to do with it. In fact, I found her interruption to be quite rude! Any other wishes Pinkie?"

"I wish it were easier to have parties everypony can make it to. Now Twilight is busy being a Princess and Fluttershy is busy with her animals, and Applejack is busy on the farm!"

"I'll help you throw a party that's already set up. You won't even have to send the invitations!"

"Pinkie wait!"

"That sounds great!" Discord snapped his claws, and Pinkie flashed...and didn't disappear.

"What did you do to her?" Applejack demanded.

"She's perfectly unharmed! I kept my word. Honestly, Applejack, the fact that you would accuse me of any wrongdoing when I've been a complete saint wounds me deeply." An arrow appeared through the draconequus' chest. He pulled it off sideways and put it on like a hat.

"Hi Applejack!" Pinkie chirped. "Good to see you. Discord said we were going on an adventure. Why is Fluttershy asleep?" Said pony jolted awake, and the chaos spirit vanished.

"Oh my, I've just had the strangest dream!"

Luna started as well. "What did he want?" She demanded.

"Something's wrong with Pinkie!" Applejack said. "She forgot about the mission, and it's all his fault."

"Whose fault?" Fluttershy asked.

"Discord's!"

"I'm sure he didn't mean any harm," Fluttershy said.

"Yeah! I'm the one who wanted to go on an adventure, Discord just helped me!"

Luna shook her head. "I was wrong to worry about leaving you. Even Discord's powers can't stand up to Fluttershy's sheer force of will. Set up a camp, I shall retrieve your friends and the Prench national."

***

Rarity collapsed dramatically on the throne. "It's done."

"You're the best, Rarity!" Rainbow cheered. "Now Twilight will know about the third clone as soon as she gets back!"

"That's only if Princess Luna and your friends don't find her first," Dawn said.

Rarity glared. "Thanks for that." In a flash of light, Twilight appeared near the door to the throne room. "You received our note!" The purple pony dove into a pile with her friends.

"It's good to be back," she murmured.

"I knew you'd be okay," Rainbow said.

"I'm so glad you're safe, darling!" Rarity bawled happily.

Dawn raised a hoof. "Pardonnez moi. Where is Mr. Olde?"

Twilight teleported her away. "Right there."

"Where did you send her?"

"Your shop. Do you want to make him a suit?"

"Do I?" The Princess gave her a curious look. "That was a rhetorical question, dear. Of course I do!" In a flash it was just Dash and Twilight.

"What's the plan?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, how are we going to reform Mr. Olde? That's why you went off on a journey through the multiverse, right?"

"I don't really have a plan," Twilight said. She walked slowly towards the stained glass windows. Her crystalline counterpart looked so confident, standing defiantly against Nightmare Moon. "The elements used to come up with our every solution. I don't want to say I'm lost without them, but..." Rainbow followed her.

"You can do it! So what if we don't have some lame gems. That doesn't matter. We're still the same awesome ponies who took out all the same bad guys!" Rainbow indicated the other windows to emphasize her point. "We freed Princess Luna! We did that. And turned Discord to stone. And helped beat Chrysalis. And Sombra, and Tirek, and we did that by giving up our elements!"

"What else did we give up?" Twilight wondered. She walked up to the window immortalizing Tirek's defeat. "Have we become worse as ponies without the need to live up to our best qualities?"

"Of course not! Duh!" Rainbow elbowed her. "You use more magic than ever. You have wings! Fluttershy is kinder than ever. For crying out loud, she's friends with Discord! I'm still loyal, and all the others are just as good as they've always been."

The Princess of Friendship nodded slowly. "You're right. I just have to find a better way to deal with this new foe!"

"It would help to not call him a foe. He's a pony just like us, no matter where he came from!"

"No scheme of his will get past me! I'll be ever watchful, ever vigilant in case he tries to escape again!"

"Uh, Twilight?"

"My plans will have countermeasures against his plans! His plans can be as complicated as he wants, but I'll always be able to out-plan them!"

"Twilight!" Rainbow pounded the ground with a hoof.

"What?"

"Let's go over this one more time, I don't think you're getting it..."

***

"Do I deserve this?" Aria asked out of the blue. She was walking back to Kolarbyn's Inn with Mary and Ritornello. The former stared at pretty much everything they walked past, (probably taking mental notes) from the griffins commuting home from their bankery jobs to that shop with the mannequin in the window. The latter fell in step next to her.

"What?"

"Do I deserve...to be happy?"

"Of course," the manticore said, "why wouldn't you?"

"I'm not a good person. A lot of ponies fought with each other because of me. Adagio bullied Sunset, and I didn't just stand by and do nothing. I helped her!"

"Do you feel bad about that?"

"I dunno." At this Ritornello flicked her tail in annoyance. "I mean yeah! I guess. In the heat of the moment I just wanted more energy to feed on."

"How about now?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Is that unusual?"

"Ye-es? Normally I could feed forever, if there was enough animosity around. But lately..."

Ritornello smiled. "Lately?"

"There are seaponies in my stomach."

Mary said, "When did you have the time to eat-"

"It's an expression!"

"Oh good, I was worried you two were going to eat someone."

"Ew."

"Yeah, we're not savages," Aria fired back.

"You aren’t?"

***

I stare at the light switch. I'm well aware that Rarity is a unicorn, who can in fact turn it on or off with a flick of her horn. Even I can accomplish such a feat with my minuscule powers. Even so, it is an awfully human artifice to find in a world that still hasn't invented the internal combustion engine. I turn it off, then on, then off again. Activating the lights without the use of a wand is a bizarre idea, but it seems exciting enough for me to monetize. Perhaps I could ask Mary to draft a proposal for a new project. My ear twitches away from the sound of bells. Celestia walks through the door, a look of consternation on her face. "Hello, good princess. What brings you to my humble shop?"

"This is Rarity's shop."

"Ah yes, that is what I had intended on saying."

"Enough of your games, I'm not here for you," she says. She closes the door behind her with a yellow glow, then walks towards the pony-shaped mannequin with her horn still glowing. "Where is Twilight?"

"I don't know." I decide to sit next to the changing booth. The side of it is striped. I for one don't find white on purple fashionable.

"You don't know," she repeats, eyeing the show floor critically. "Do you think it's a trade secret where my former student is?"

I shake my head. "The last thing I heard from her was that she wanted to banish Prototype 626 to a dungeon somewhere. He's probably going to attempt an escape and wreak some minor havoc."

She raises her eyebrow slightly. "Prototype 626 isn't related to the monitor project, is he?"

"Well-"

"Because you must understand, I spoke with him not long ago. If both of them are one intelligence, or if there are truly six hundred twenty four other villains that you created, there shall be a reckoning." I look out the windows. The sun is starting to set. Long shadows cover the floor.

"My best scientists are working to remedy any issues the Monitor project may cause. I'm sure you trust Princess Twilight to take good care of 626. It would not be friendly to distrust a fellow alicorn."

"Please not accuse me of being unfriendly." Celestia steps towards me. "I did not attain my position through the ruthless pursuit of something so trivial as profit or ego."

"Far be it from me to disagree," I say. I hold up a front hoof in a placating gesture. "I'm well aware that you suffered a great deal for a thousand years due to the personal problems you had with a family member. It wouldn't be right to bully such a wounded soul."

"I'm glad you are able to see reason, in this matter at least." Her horn stops glowing. I turn on the lights. "Is it that time already? I shall be outside setting the sun. It would be best if you wait here, where there aren't any hapless graduate students to exploit." She opens the door and steps in front of the window. I must admit, my horn can pick up the power she's bringing to bear as the sun drops below the horizon. I wait patiently for the moon to rise. I hear hoof steps upstairs. A cat hisses at me.

"Hello, what is your name?" It doesn't say anything, merely glaring pointedly at the other room. I sigh and follow it. The cat's collar is lovingly embroidered. I will admit that the blue gems are a good contrast with the purple threads. Woven into the back is the name Opalescence. "Very well, Opalescence. Since your owner has vacated the premises I shall feed you. How much do you need for dinner?" I open a cabinet. It is full of oatmeal. I try one closer to the ground. Carrots. Why store only one type of item in a cabinet? I hear a teleportation.

"What are you doing to Opal?!" Rarity demands. I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Feeding her dinner. In lieu of that, you may of course go ahead and complete the task yourself." She glares at me. With a glow of the horn the cabinet next to the one I tried opens and a can of food floats towards the dish. She continues to stare as the sink turns on and the water bowl is refilled. With a terrific snap, the can opens and the food hits the dish. Opal looks between us then begins to eat methodically. The sink turns off.

"I've got my eye on you," she says, "but Twilight said you needed a suit."

I nod. "Please, take my measurements." She leads me to a circular platform and I stand on it. With a practiced air her measuring tape flits about my person. About my pony? Bah, humbug. It is quite dark outside. Celestia bursts into the boutique.

"Where is Cadence?"

Rarity bows. "I'm sorry Princess Celestia, I don't know where Princess Cadence is."

"Perhaps she is in another castle," I say dryly.

"Where's Luna?"

"I do not know, why don't you put a bell on her so she doesn't wander off?"

"My sister is not some stupid cat!"

Rarity's eyes widen. "Please be careful, Princess. Opal is just in the other room having her dinner. You don't want to offend her, do you?" I hear hoofsteps in the kitchen. Perhaps it is my partner in crime!

"Yes, and I never said your sister was a cat, Princess Celestia." I must think quickly, what else could I say to distract her? "Unless she were to transfigure herself using a magic spell. Has she ever done that?"

"No, Luna prefers to turn herself into a bat."

"Hold on, Princess Luna can change her form?" Rarity asks.

"Why of course. She specializes in such magic to an extent. It would be apt to say she wrote the book on shapeshifting. At the time it wasn't published, but...I did have the draft circulated to several publishers."

"That sounds almost nepotistic. I can't imagine the royal treasury was as large then as it is now," I say.

"I resent any implication of bribery." At this, Rarity purses her lips and looks around the room. A roll of black cloth soars above my head. She begins to cut it to size. "Very well, it seems I can learn no more from this obstinate businesspony. Rarity, I bid you good night." The Princess leaves, casually lifting a crescent moon into the sky and teleporting once she closes the door. I hear an exhalation from the kitchen.

"Come out, dear," Rarity says. Dawn enters the room. She seems a little jumpy, but I can hardly blame her. Celestia certainly wields a terrifying amount of magic. I remain as still as I can while the elements of a suit coat assemble.

"It's good to see you again."

"It's good to see you too, monsieur."

"I've never seen the princess act like that before! What did you say to her before I arrived here?" Rarity wonders.

"We were merely having a discussion about one of my lab's projects. I have no idea what got under her skin."

"I hope she doesn't know about the first clone."

"It would be bad enough if she only knew about you, darling."

"Magic can be used for cloning?" I ask.

Dawn rolls her shoulders. "J'ai une explanation for toi." I do hope she isn't about to give a lecture.

***

"One magic wand please!" Grant the street urchin said, dropping two goldos on the counter. He was in one of the first tents set up to teach Griffons how to turn gold into bread. The walls were pinstriped in red and white, while the pony behind the counter wore a blue and white shirt of the same pattern.

"Coming right up my young friend!" the salespony with a red mustache said. He took the coins below the counter in a flash of green magic. "Once you're done with the first volume of the manual, I'll give you a whopping five percent off the next one!"

"Thanks mister! I'll be back as soon as possible!" Grand scampered out of Flim's tent.

"Another happy sap!" the stallion remarked.

Author's Note

It's still alive, naturally.