Whom I Hold Dear

Chapter 1: Alone

Twilight lay on her back staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom. She couldn’t even say how long she had been there. The world outside was bustling with the midday rush, but in her room, it was static. Nothing had changed, and time was standing still around the young mare. The only way she knew time was still passing was the soft ticking of the clock on her nightstand.

For a brief moment, she struggled to inhale. Her body fought her just trying to breathe. As soon as the air filled her lungs, she choked out a sob. Her vision became blurry once more, and she felt a trickle roll down her cheek. She thought her tears had long run dry, but every time she thought that, she was proven wrong.

The pain would stab at her, tearing open the fresh wound every single time she thought it had finally dulled. When she thought she might start to move on, she would feel the hurt well up once more. She thought she might be able to at least stop crying, but it wasn’t any use. As soon as she would stop sobbing, the pain would rear its ugly head once more, driving her to tears again. Never had she cried this hard in her life. Never has she felt this awful.

It had only been two days since he passed. Two grueling days of mourning that left a physical and emotional toll on her. Only a single night where she finally passed out from sheer exhaustion when she couldn’t cry any longer. She was a wreck. Twilight had barely been able to even leave her room to fulfill basic needs such as food and to relieve herself, but at least it was more than her mother was capable of.

As Twilight sniffled, she could hear the distant sobs of her mom, Twilight Velvet, in her own bedroom. It was only her bedroom now, since she would be sleeping there alone from now on. Her husband was gone—taken in a freak accident. Twilight flashed to the officer who came to their door only a few days ago. The stallion told them that her father had been killed when a carriage was speeding down a road. It had hit an uneven brick, and broke its wheel. The carriage itself flipped, and hit her father. He died on scene without even a chance to survive. He was gone before the paramedics even arrived.

Twilight sobbed again. Just like that, her father—the pony she relied on the most—was taken from her. Fate, or whatever it may be, came into her life, and in seconds changed it forever. It carved out a hole in her and her mother’s lives; a hole that could never be replaced. The thought that he would never see her graduate school, or never see if she got married, or meet his possible grandchild if she had one haunted her. She would never see his face again. There was so much he would miss in her life, it simply wasn’t fair.

She rolled off her bed, and onto her hooves. “It’s not fair…” she said to herself as she climbed onto all fours. Her legs wobbled under her, making her almost fall to the ground. Twilight braced herself against her bed until she could stand once more. Her stomach let out a low, deep rumble making her feel utterly disgusted with herself. “How can you be hungry at a time like this…” she muttered. Another grumble from her belly was her only answer.

Reluctantly, she left her bedroom, and made her way to the kitchen. She glanced outside, seeing it was already getting dark. Time had lost its meaning to her at this point. What felt like an eternity of sobbing for her was mere minutes to the rest of the world, and what felt like seconds as she lay there motionless was hours for the outside. Nothing matched up anymore.

She levitated down a box from the cupboard. The unassuming box read Vegetable Bouillon, the perfect thing for a pony too grief-stricken to eat. Twilight levitated over a pot from another cupboard, and filled it with water. She placed it on the stove and started to prepare some simple soup. As much as she hated that she had to feed herself when all she wanted to do was wallow in her own sadness, she knew she would have to eat.

Her mother’s distant sobs grabbed her attention as she waited for the water to heat up. That sound didn’t help her feel any better either. Hearing her mom crying so hard only hurt her more. Twilight sat on the floor, and covered her face with her hoof. Her father was gone, and the other important pony in her life was just as grief-stricken as her, if not more so.

Her hoof slid down from her eyes, and she looked out at the kitchen around her. Everything was as it had been. Nothing was out of place aside from what Twilight herself had moved. Her mom hadn’t left her bedroom since she heard the news. That meant she hadn’t eaten at all since she locked herself inside. Twilight looked over at the boiling water on the stove. It was a disgrace to his memory that she would allow her mother to cry alone.

Twilight sniffled as she levitated over another bowl from the cupboard. She couldn’t just leave her like that; she had to be strong for her mom. Her brother wasn’t at home anymore to be strong, so she would have to fill that role. She would have to be there to support her like her dad did.

After she had prepared the broth, she put some in a bowl, and took it to her mother’s bedroom door. Tentatively, she knocked. Twilight didn’t really expect a reply, and after a few seconds, she considered just opening the door herself. But just as Twilight was about to use her magic to turn the handle, she heard a click from the lock, and the door opened. The magenta aura around the door handle faded, and Twilight walked into the darkened room.

The first thing she saw was her mother lying on her side, wiping her tears. The older mare looked up in Twilight’s direction with puffy, bloodshot eyes as she tried to put on a strong face for her daughter. Try as she might though, Twilight knew she couldn’t be strong, not now. She walked up to the bed, placing the bowl of soup on the nightstand.

“Mom, I made you something…” she said softly.

“Thanks, dear, but I’m not very hungry right now…” she replied, swallowing down her urge to burst into tears once more.

“Please, Mom, you need to eat something…It’s been a few days…” Twilight placed a hoof on the bed as she pleaded with Velvet.

“I’m really not hungry, Twilight.”

She stared at her mom, noticing that her eyes were buried in the corner of the room. She wasn’t looking at Twilight. It was clear that she was too hurt to even look her own daughter in the face. Twilight realized because she probably reminded her of him. The younger mare lowered her head. She knew this was where she should say something. Twilight needed to stand up, and be the support her mother needed through this, but it wasn’t that easy.

“Mom…I…” She stopped herself, unsure what she was even saying. Nothing came to mind. What could she say to convince her mom to eat? How could she be that pillar of support? She was still too upset herself to properly console someone. “I…I can’t say it will be fine…” A tear rolled down Twilight’s cheek. “None of this will be fine…”

Twilight’s words drew Velvet’s eyes to her for the first time since she entered the room. “Twilight?” she asked, a growing concern in her voice.

“I miss Dad…” she said softly. “I miss him so much…but…we have to take care of ourselves too…” She brought her hoof to her eye, and wiped the water from her soggy fur. “He would want us to…”

Velvet stared at her for a moment. The daughter she had so much pride in was crying, and she couldn’t do anything to take away that pain. She moved her hind legs so she was laying horizontally across the bed. With a small sigh, she used her magic to bring a tissue over to her daughter’s face, gently drying her still running tears. “You’re a mess…” she said with a small, forced laugh. She stared at her for a moment with a gentle smile. “We’re both a mess…” she added finally.

“Mom…”

She tapped her hoof on the bed, beckoning Twilight to join her. The younger mare slowly climbed onto the bed with Velvet. She was still crying as she settled, but being next to her mom made her feel a little better. The warmth of another pony could comfort an aching heart. The older mare placed a foreleg around her daughter, and pulled her in close for a hug. “It hurts…but…one day, it won’t hurt as bad…” she said softly.

“It will still hurt though…” Twilight rest her head against Velvet’s shoulder as they lay there.

“It always will…because you love your father…” She lay her head on her daughter’s, trying to comfort her.

“I just miss him so much…”

“I know, sweetie. I miss him too…” A tear rolled down both their cheeks as they laid there with one another.

“He was always watching out for me…Like when those bullies were picking on me at school because of my condition…”

“And he threatened to beat all those kids to a pulp for picking on his daughter.” Velvet laughed while still crying.

“And how he was always cracking down on Shining to study so he could get into The Royal Guard like he wanted…”

Velvet let out a small sniffle. “He loved you kids so much. You were his world.”

“I…I can’t believe he’s gone!” Twilight buried her face in her mom’s chest as she burst into tears. She couldn’t hold back anymore. Just talking about him hurt. Remembering all the good things he had done for them only reminded her that she would never see him again. Every treasured memory felt like a knife stabbing into her, painfully shoving it in her face what she would no longer have.

Velvet placed her other hoof around her, and cradled Twilight as she cried. The distant sounds of her mother softly sobbing pulled her back to the room from her grief-stricken mental state. She had come in here to be her mother’s support, not burden her further. She choked a bit as she tried to rein in her crying. Her sobs softened, and the sounds of her mom’s grew louder. She placed her hoof on her mom’s, gently stroking it to coax her through her grief. Twilight knew she could be strong if she tried.

It took a few moments for Velvet to calm down a bit. Her sobs died down, and her tears slowly stopped flowing. Her breathing slowed back to its normal pace as she gained control over her emotions again. When her mom finally calmed down, she sat up on her own, breaking her mother’s hug on her. Though she wasn’t being embraced, she stayed close enough because she knew first-hoof the warmth of another was comforting.

“I think I’ll have some of that soup now…” Velvet levitated over the bowl sitting on the nightstand. It was lukewarm at best by this point, but regardless she still sipped the broth.

“Mom…can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone…” Twilight said without making eye contact.

Velvet looked down at her daughter. She gave a weak smile, unable to do anything else for her child. “Of course, dear…”

Days turned into weeks, and the pain eventually dulled to the point that they could continue with their lives again. Though it was still hard for them, their tears had been shed. They still felt the hole left in their lives in the wake of this tragedy. Death was tricky that way. A single brief incident could drastically change one’s life forever by taking away someone who was precious to them.

When the funeral came around, Twilight’s brother had come home for the service. She had never seen her brother cry before, but that day she saw him vulnerable for the first time. Her strong, military trained brother was crying, like she and her mother had. For the young naive mare, she was starting to grasp just how strong the pain of loss was.

She knew it hurt for her and her mom, but it was an expected result from them. She wasn’t strong like her brother; she didn’t have the training or the discipline he did. But to see him cry too only stood as a testament to how heavy the weight of loss could be.

Shining Armor only stayed in Canterlot for a few days after the funeral. He was quickly called back to duty. If she had known how short his visit would have been, she would have spent more time with him. But as his career was calling, so too was her own life. The world does not stop for the dead, as cruel as that may seem. She had to return to school, and her mother to work.

When two months had passed since her father’s death, Twilight and her mother were slowly accepting his passing. It was a long road to acceptance, but a road everyone must travel at some point in their life. They were accepting, not moving on is what Twilight told herself.

Twilight awoke that morning like she had every day since the accident. Her alarm went off, and instead of hopping out of bed like before, she simply stared at the ceiling. She used her magic to silence the ringing bell, and slowly sat up. She looked down at her blanket, seeing her sheet raised up between her hind legs like a tent. She sighed heavily. “Why have you been so...active…lately?” she asked herself.

Twilight pulled the blanket down to see a dark purple shaft starting to soften. “Why couldn’t I have been born a normal filly?” she asked herself for probably the millionth time in her life. She already knew the answer, but that didn’t mean she liked it. With a sigh, she lazily climbed out of her bed. Since her father’s death, she felt sluggish when she woke up, but that was because her father was a morning pony. He would always try to cheer everyone up for the day by being upbeat. She no longer had that positivity in the morning, so her days felt slow to start.

Her attention turned out her bedroom window, where she saw the sky was grey with cloud cover. Every day felt dark and gloomy since his passing, but that was just because she noticed them more. She walked towards the window, and with a small sigh she said, “I’ll make you proud today, Dad…And I’ll make sure Mom is taken care of too…Like everyday…” Twilight forced a smile, and gathered her books for the day.

When she opened her bedroom door, it was as though she walked into a huge wave of negativity. The whole house felt saturated in a depressing sense, something Twilight had not felt since she heard the news about her father. Something was wrong about today, she could feel it.

She walked into the kitchen to see her mother sitting at the table. The older mare sat there with a dead expression as though every happy thought had been sucked out of her. Twilight opened her mouth to greet her mom, but she was cut off by a weak and dry, “Good morning.” Velvet continued to stare lifelessly at the table in front of her.

“Good morning, Mom…” she said, a bit of concern creeping into her voice. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“It’s nothing, Twilight…” she said with a small sigh. She still hadn’t made eye contact, or even looked up from her staring contest with the kitchen table.

Twilight glanced at the calendar on the wall. She noticed a date circled on it in red, which jogged her memory. Immediately she understood the cause of her mother’s depression. She found herself looking at the floor, a little upset at herself for forgetting what today was. It was their anniversary.

Slowly, Twilight walked over to the kitchen table. Instead of sitting down, and joining her mom, she instead stood next to her. “I know today is going to be a hard day…” she said, looking up at the older mare. “But I’m sure we can get through this, Mom.” She didn’t hesitate to lean in and wrap her forelegs around her. She wrapped her mom in a tight, loving embrace, hoping it would bring her from her dark mood.

Twilight heard her choke a bit as she fought the urge to cry then and there. Shakily, her hoof rose until it rest on Twilight’s foreleg. “Thanks, dear…” She blinked a few times as Twilight pulled her forelegs back, and sat down on her hind legs. “I needed that,” she said with a small smile.

Twilight could see the tears already forming in her eyes. She smiled back at her mom, as she took a seat adjacent to her at the table.

Velvet took a deep breath to pull in some positivity into her body. “So, how have your studies been?” she asked, wiping her eyes clear of the forming droplets. It was a quick change of topic, but one she knew was for the best.

“Fine…” Twilight replied, levitating over a plate with a piece of bread on it. “The princess has been pretty busy, so I’ve been taking normal classes at the school for the past week.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Velvet asked. She didn’t understand most of the things Twilight was studying with the princess, but when it came to taking an interest in her daughter’s life, she always tried to make an effort.

“Because, they’re really boring…”

“I’m sorry to hear that, sweetie…” Velvet looked over at the counter, and levitated a slice of bread onto a plate as well.

“These classes aren’t as engaging as the ones with Princess Celestia…”

Velvet stared at her for a moment before levitating over a knife and a jar of jam. “The princess hasn’t been teaching you everything, has she? I thought you were only studying magic from her.”

“I still attend classes for math, and a few other subjects, but the magic classes I’m in now are just too simple compared to what I’ve been learning.”

“I’m sure you’ll be studying with Princess Celestia again in no time.” She took a bite of the piece of bread with jam spread on it.

Twilight smiled at her weakly. “I still don’t like these classes. The other students try to pick on me because I’ve been taking special lessons from the princess…”

“They aren’t still picking on you because of your medical condition, are they?” she asked fearfully.

“No, they seem to have forgotten about that, at least for now…”

Velvet stared at her for a few moments, contemplating what she could do for her daughter. She wanted to help, but she also knew Twilight most likely didn’t want what help she could offer. “I wish I could do something for you, sweetie…but I don’t think you want me to go talk to the teachers like your father would, do you?”

“No, I’ll be fine, Mom.” Twilight shook her head. “It’s just normal hazing, I’m used to it.”

Velvet sighed as she took another bite of her breakfast. “I wish I knew what to do…like he always seemed to…”

Twilight sat silently for a second. Hearing her mother say something so self-demeaning stabbed at her sense of duty. A promise she made to herself and her father came to mind. She promised she would keep her mother happy, and take care of her. Twilight placed her hoof on the table. “You’re doing fine, Mom…” she defended.

“I don’t feel like I’m doing fine. These past few months I’ve just felt worthless.” She placed her hoof to her forehead as she rest her elbow on the table. She sniffled. “I feel like we’re losing what makes us a family, Twilight…”

“Don’t say that…” Twilight said, setting down her own slice of bread.

“I can’t help it. You and your brother are slipping away from me, and…I don’t want that…With Shining in The Royal Guard, and you studying so much, I just feel so alone…”

Twilight looked at her mom with hurt, almost frantic eyes. “I-is it because I didn’t tell you about my class changes?” she asked, unsure how she should proceed. There was a sense of desperation in her voice as she tried to find out what she did to make her mom feel this way. “I’ll tell you these kind of things from now on, just don’t be sad, Mom…”

“It’s not just that, Twilight, it’s everything. Soon you’ll grow up, and move out on your own. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I…” She placed her hooves over her eyes as she started to cry. “I was supposed to have your father here with me when I dealt with you kids growing up.”

Twilight felt her heart rate slow down when she realized it wasn’t something she had control over. Her desperation faded, leaving only the hurt remaining. She looked around the table in front of her, trying to find an answer lying there on its surface, but there was none. With quivering lips, she spoke, “It’s your first anniversary without him…I know this has to hurt…”

“But?” she asked shifting her hooves so she could see Twilight. She was hoping she had something more to offer—something else to make her feel better than just stating the obvious pain she felt.

Twilight bit her lower lip when she saw her mother’s expectation. She knew she couldn’t meet it, but she still tried to calm her down. “There was no but…I just know this has to hurt,” she said with a heavy heart. “Just as you wish you knew how to help me, I wish I could take away this pain you’re feeling…” Twilight placed her hoof on her mother’s shoulder, comforting her. This seemed all she was capable of doing, was placing a comforting hoof on her until she could calm down. She didn’t have any other way to help her but physically being there.

Velvet wiped her tears, and gave a small smile to Twilight. She was such an honest, earnest filly. Even if she didn’t know what to say, she would still try, and that in itself made her feel better. Suddenly she felt silly having placed such a burden on the young pony. “You’re a good daughter, Twilight,” she said softly.

“We’re still family, Mom, and I won’t let that change. I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled back at Velvet.

The older mare pulled her in for a hug. “You’ve grown up so much in these past few months…” she whispered to her. “You remind me so much of him…”

“Thanks, Mom.” Twilight placed her forelegs around her mom, and hugged her back. The two shared that mother–daughter embrace for a few moments. It was what they both needed at that time. Twilight needed to feel that validation of her claim, and Velvet needed to feel her daughter’s sincerity. Both needed to still feel that they were family, and that nothing would change that.

After a few moments, she pushed Twilight away. She gave her daughter a smile as she did. “Now, you need to get to school, or you’re going to be late.”

“Right,” Twilight said with a small laugh. “I’ll see you when I get home, alright?”

“Yeah,” she gave her daughter a small kiss on the forehead. “Have a good day, sweetie.”

Twilight stared down at her notebook as she scribbled what her professor was lecturing on. It was an almost mechanical process at this point in her life. Taking notes, and absorbing the information was almost subconscious to her, and she didn’t have to dedicate much attention to what was being discussed. This way of learning was interesting in itself, and while she may seem like she isn’t listening, she could regurgitate information back if called upon. It was a talent she was thankful for as it made her mindless retention-based classes easy.

When her professor paused, she looked back over her notes, giving them a quick glossing through to make sure she understood what today’s topic was. She sighed to herself when she noticed she had been taking notes on early Equestrian history, a topic she learned about second hoof from the princess. Celestia varied her curriculum based on her student’s development in a given subject to keep the classes engaging. If Twilight had hit a wall in magic, Celestia would change to history for a day or two to let her distance herself from the problem. Given that her teacher had lived these events, today was another day she could essentially tune out her professor.

Twilight glanced up from her notebook seeing the teacher sorting through his lecture notes. It only garnered another sigh from her as she looked back down at her paper. If she appeared like she was busy writing, he wouldn’t call on her, and she wouldn’t draw attention to herself. If she didn’t bring attention to herself, the other ponies in class might let her be today. Twilight used her magic to put her quill in the ready position.

As the teacher began his lecture once again, Twilight let her mind wander. Immediately her thoughts turned to her mom. With how depressed she was earlier, Twilight was still worried about her. It had only been two months since her father had passed, and while they were adjusting to his absence, today would be a trial for her mother. It hurt to imagine her crying, a sight she had seen far too much of lately.

“If only I could do something special for her…” Twilight tapped the tip of her quill against her notebook. “Something to take her mind off things, and give her a bit of joy for even a brief moment…” An idea started to formulate as the young pony continued scribbling her notes. She remembered that her father would make dinner for her mother on their anniversary each year, and buy her some flowers.

Twilight could do that. She remembered that she had a few bits on hoof, and the flower shop wasn’t out of her way either. She wasn’t a gifted chief so dinner might be a tad on the simple side, but it was manageable. “It might cheer her up for a bit of tradition…or it could just remind her of him…”

She tapped her quill tip again. “It’s a positive association, so it should cheer her up,” she decided. “I’ll buy her favorite flowers on the way home, and make dinner for her. It’s the least I could for her today.

Twilight left the flower shop with a small smile. She placed a bouquet of azaleas into her saddlebag taking care not to smash the flowers as she secured them. It was a small gesture, but Twilight was confident her mother would cheer up when she brought them in the door. With the flowers purchased and safely in her bag, Twilight started her walk home. She just needed to go home so she could prepare dinner. What that would be she hadn’t quite decided on yet, but she knew whatever it was, her mom would be thankful. The more her plan came together, the more she felt confident that this would cheer her up.

“Dad would be so proud of me,” she thought. “I’m sure Shining would be too, since I’m trying my best to take care of Mom while he’s away.” As she walked, her thoughts fell to her brother. Shining Armor had left home when he joined The Royal Guard. He had said it was his dream, but Twilight had a sneaking suspicion that he was driven by something other than ambition. She guess that it was because in The Royal Guard, he would be assigned to work in close proximity with the princess—though it wasn’t Princess Celestia Shining had his eyes on.

He left home to serve the crown, and while his initial reason might not have been so noble, Twilight knew he was serious about his job. After he worked so hard to join, he wouldn’t have slacked off. “It’s a dangerous job after all, and a pony could—” Suddenly she felt her heart seize. It took a moment for her mind to catch up with what she was just about to think. Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. She didn’t know why it caught her off guard, but suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks. “Being in The Royal Guard is dangerous…Shiing could get hurt at any moment…” Twilight looked down at the ground as she swallowed a forming lump in her throat. “Or worse…”

Images flashed before her of another funeral. Her mom was crying, and everyone was wearing black. She sharply inhaled as more terrible thoughts started coming to mind. At this funeral it was her brother in the casket. Twilight’s hooves started to shake as she imagined lowering her brother into the ground. She couldn’t bury another family member—she wouldn’t. It would just be her and her mom left. Her heart started racing in her chest as her hooves trembled more. The morbid imagery simply wouldn’t stop, and soon her vision was blurry.

“If Shining were to…Mom might…” Twilight’s eyes shot straight up. She looked down the road in front of her, eyes locked ahead with sheer dread. ”If Mom died too…” she whispered to herself. “I can’t be alone…” Twilight took a small step forward. “I won’t be alone…” she muttered to herself. A cold breeze brushed across her back, sending a chill up her spine.

Without any warning, Twilight dashed down the street. She ran past ponies all looking at her like she was crazy, but she didn’t care. All she knew was that she needed to get home. Her racing heart, the pain in her chest, these tears; she was utterly terrified. She had to see her mom, she had to know she wasn’t alone in the world right now.

Twilight closed the door behind her as soon as she was inside the house. In a panic, she looked around, but she couldn’t find her mom. The living room, dining room, kitchen; all were empty. Today was her anniversary, and Twilight knew she scheduled this day off work months in advance. She should be here. A sudden noise drew Twilight’s attention to the ceiling. It sounded like a cry of pain.

A terrifying thought popped into her head. A thought so horrible, she felt like her heart had just been stomped on. Before she even knew what she was doing, she threw off her saddlebag, and rushed up stairs. She found herself in front of the door to her parents room. It was closed, and muffled cries came from the other side.

Twilight, still feeling that pain in her chest, found it hard to knock. The door was shut, and probably locked. With all of the terrible imagery running through her head, unspeakable horrors were all she imagined on the other side. The young mare only stared at the door in front of her, her vision blurred with tears. A steady stream pouring from her eyes even though she wasn’t sobbing. This felt worse than when she was crying over her father. This was a panicked cry that she had no idea how to even deal with. Twilight swallowed a building lump in her throat, and gathered her courage.

“Mom…” she said weakly. No response came from the other side, only the continued muffled noises. Her voice had been low, and cracked as she spoke, nearly cutting her off. Yet, knowing she wasn’t heard, she still waited for a response. Twilight struggled to hold in a sudden sob as she tried to speak once more. “Mom…” she said louder.

The sounds suddenly stopped. “T-Twilight? I-I need a moment…” Velvet said from the other side of the door.

Twilight stared at her hoof as it started shaking again. “I-I know you probably want to be alone right now…but…I-I can’t—” The sob she was holding in squeezed out, stopping her for a second. She felt like she was choking on their air as she tried to breathe. “I-I can’t be alone…” she finally managed to squeeze out softly. She stared at her own hoof in desperation, hoping some way to deal with this string of emotions would present itself.

Twilight opened her mouth again. “I can’t be alone…” she repeated for herself. “Mom, I’m scared, and…I-I can’t be alone right now…” she said one final time as she fell to her hind legs. Her desperation from earlier was leaking into her voice. Twilight wrapped her forelegs around herself, hoping that by holding on, she might calm herself down.

A soft click was heard as the door unlocked. Twilight looked up to see her mother standing in the doorway. Her fur was damp and matted, and a peculiar smell drifted from her room. Twilight didn’t care though. If she hadn’t been so worked up, she might have realized what her mother was doing.

Twilight jumped up, and wrapped her forelegs around her mom’s neck. “P-please, don’t leave me!” she said, on the verge of crying hysterically. She couldn’t keep it in anymore. Twilight burst into tears, holding onto her mother like she would vanish at any moment.

Velvet fell back onto her hind legs when her fully grown daughter jumped at her. She was taken off guard, but seeing how distraught her daughter was, she placed her foreleg around Twilight. Her hoof gently stroked Twilight’s back as the young mare hugged her tightly. “I-I’m not going anywhere, sweetie,” she replied.

“I-I’m scared…” Twilight sobbed. “I don’t want to lose anypony else!”

“Twilight…” she said, squeezing her daughter back. Velvet sat silent as she continued to stroke her daughter’s back. It felt like the best thing to do until Twilight calmed down enough to properly comfort her. Though she wasn’t sure what she could do for her, she was struggling herself. In her forelegs she had her daughter crying her eyes out. Any parent would want to make those tears stop, but she felt like she couldn’t. She sniffled as she held the younger mare, fighting her own urge to cry. All she could do was be there physically until Twilight stopped. She had to let this work itself through her system.

When the hysterical sobbing slowed, Twilight took a sharp breath; her breathing was coming back under her control, and her heart had stopped pounding in her chest. The young pony finally loosened her panicked grip on her mom, and sat back on her hind legs. “I-I’m sorry, Mom…” she said softly.

Velvet gave a small smile as she placed her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Twilight. Why don’t you come over to the bed, and we can talk this out. Talking…will make us both feel better.” She paused for a moment, knowing they both needed this, not just Twilight.

“Alright…” she said, wiping away her tears.

They both climbed onto the bed, like they had when her father passed away. Though a little wet like her mom’s fur was, the soft pillowy surface was a step in the right direction for Twilight. Being in her parent’s bed, lying next to her mom seemed to calm her down. It was like when she had a nightmare as a filly, and would come here for comfort—though her fears now were much more reasonable than the imagined monsters lurking in her closet or under her bed.

Velvet sighed, mostly for herself. “I know you’re upset because your father isn’t here anymore, Twilight…” she said.

“It’s not just that…” Twilight said softly.

Her mom tilted her head slightly. “Then what is it…” she asked with a comforting tone. When she looked at her daughter, she saw her hooves were still trembling.

“I’m scared…On my way home from school, I just felt terrified…I was terrified I might lose you and Shining…” she carified.

She stared at her for a moment before she proceeded. “Honey, we’re not going anywhere…”

“Dad’s gone, Mom…I only have you left at home, and Shining’s career isn’t exactly safe. I don’t want to lose you too…I-I just…” Twilight swallowed a lump that was forming in her throat. Her breathing was starting to quicken, and the familiar pounding in her chest started once more. She was having another panic attack just thinking about it.

“It’s okay, Twilight.”

Her mom placed a foreleg over her, which made her relax. She didn’t feel scared anymore, and her breathing was calming before it got out of control. She looked up to her mom. “Thanks…”

Velvet gave her a gentle smile. “You’re scared of being alone, and that’s natural…” she said softly.

Twilight only nodded. She couldn’t explain why, but her mind took a fear and ran wild with it. Suddenly, the thought being alone in the world felt very real for her. Her dad was taken so abruptly, and Shining could die the same way. As irrational as it was, She felt like she was only a step away from complete isolation. Twilight looked down to see her hoof trembling. She couldn't let that happen. “I just can’t face the thought of not having you.” She could feel her eyes watering up again.

“I felt the same way when your father passed. But believe me, Twilight. I’m not going anywhere.” Velvet pulled her in close. She held Twilight, and rest her head against her daughter’s. “I know how you feel…”

Velvet sighed again. The feelings she had thought she moved past were coming back. “It scares me too…I don’t want to lose you, Twilight. If I...” She swallowed a forming lump in her throat. Twilight looked up at her mom. She was staring off into the distance with a strange kind of detached looked. The most subtle squinting of her eyes and a slight frown gave all the hints Twilight needed to know what she was feeling.

Twilight brushed her cheek against her mom’s neck. “I’m not going anywhere, Mom…” she said softly.

Velvet blinked a few times, pulling herself from her trance. She rest her head against Twilight again. “I’m sorry, Twilight.” Her eyes started to water up again.

“You don’t have to be sorry…” She could feel a small trickle roll down her cheek, melding with her already soggy fur. “We’ve got each other…We’re not alone…” Her voice nearly gave out on her as she spoke.

There was no response. She hadn’t really expected one though. Her mom being there was enough for her, and Twilight being there was enough for her mom. They just needed to feel that they were not alone. But Twilight also knew she wasn’t over this new found fear. She could still feel the doubts lurking in her mind, waiting to make her panic once more.

“Mom?”

“Yes, Twilight?”

“Can I sleep with you tonight? I…I don’t think I can be sleep by myself…”

Velvet sat silent for a moment, staring off into space. A small, gentle smile spread across her face. “Of course, Twilight.” she said softly with a soothing, motherly tone. Just hearing her voice put Twilight’s heart at ease—the voice that had always been there for her through her entire life. It was just what Twilight needed at that moment.

Twilight felt strange. It wasn’t a bad feeling, in fact, it was quite the contrary. Her lower body felt delightfully numb with a familiar sensation. There was a certain stiffness in her loins that immediately gave away what this sensation was. She couldn’t help but let small mental flashes of various erotic imagery pop into her mind, amplifying the delightful feeling between her legs. “I must have fell asleep…” she thought to herself.

She let out a soft moan as she enjoyed the pleasure her mind was supplying her with. It had to be her mind, because Twilight knew this wasn’t real. Her eyes were closed, and her body felt immovably heavy. She was having a sex dream. “Strangely lucid for a dream though…”

Suddenly it hit Twilight like a ton of bricks. She was in her mom’s room, sleeping right next to her. She couldn’t have this kind of dream tonight. This would be terribly awkward if her mom noticed Twilight’s erection. As Twilight fought to wake up, she tried desperately to move her legs. Every inch of her body was completely numb, and impossibly heavy. Mentally, she continued to scream at herself to wake up so she could try and cover up this little embarrassment.

Twilight let out a pained moan as her eyes finally opened. The room was mostly dark, save for a faint purple glow. As she looked around, she could see soft shadows cast from the mysterious purple light, giving faint outlines of distant features in the room. She was awake—she knew that—but even though she was awake, that sensation didn’t stop. She could still feel that pleasure radiating from between her hind legs.

The numbness of her body faded, and she was finally able to move. Her eyes followed the glow to its source, which strangely enough, was down her barrel. When her eyes looked down her body, Twilight saw a sight she couldn’t have prepared herself for. Between her hind legs was her mother, and inside her mouth was Twilight’s dick. The older mare’s horn was glowing as she bobbed her head up and down her daughter’s length. “M-Mom?” she asked, her eyes going wide for a moment.

Hearing a voice made her stop immediately. Slowly, she turned her eyes up to the source of that voice. As soon as their eyes met, Velvet’s eyes went as wide as Twilight’s. She released her daughter’s length from her mouth, and wiped her lips with her foreleg. “T-Twilight! T-this isn’t what it…” she started to defend herself, but quickly she realized there wasn’t much she could defend.

“W-what are…Why?” she asked, scootching back up the bed away from her mom.

“L-listen, Twilight…” She held out her foreleg. She had to keep Twilight calm before she utterly freaked out—understandably so—from seeing her mom fellating her dick. “I’m sorry…this is…” She looked around the room, trying to find the words as though they were scattered in the darkness. “This is hard to explain…” Finally, her eyes fell down at the sheets, and her cheeks turned a darker shade in the purple light of her magic. With the way her daughter was looking at her, she felt utterly disgusted with herself.

Twilight stared at her mom for a moment. It was clear her mother was conflicted. While this was a shock, she wasn’t one to immediately jump to anger. There had to be a reason why the pony she trusted the most would do something like this. “Could you try?” she asked, hoping her mother could at least shed some light on this situation.

Twilight’s mother sighed. “There’s a few reasons…” she started. It took her a few more moments to work the up courage to look Twilight in the eyes again, but she finally managed to meet her daughter’s hopeful gaze once more. “As you know, today was your father’s and my anniversary. This is hard to tell you, Twilight, but we were…very active…”

Twilight looked away from a moment, wishing she hadn’t heard that. “Okay…”

“I’m afraid that’s not all of it. Today was a day we would…” She sighed again, cringing as she did. “We would really go all out on our anniversary. We tried to make it special…”

“I guess that makes sense…” The more the conversation went on, the less Twilight wished was hearing.

“It’s my first anniversary without him, so…” Her eyes started to well up. “I’m sorry, Twilight…It’s been two months since I was intimate with somepony, and when you were crying today, it just brought back all the pain from your father’s death…I…I just needed something to take my mind off things for a bit…”

“So…you just decided to…with your daughter?” Twilight asked, trying to keep calm. It wasn’t easy for her given the situation. She was confused, hurt, and even felt a little betrayed. The pony she cared for most in this world had been doing something inconceivable to her in her sleep.

“I’m sorry, Twilight. I lost control over my emotions. You interrupted me earlier today when I was—and when I felt you poking me in the back as I was falling asleep, certain…” She paused as she struggled for the appropriate word. “Certain thoughts…started filling my head, and I started thinking about your father, and our more intimate moments together…”

“Wait, poking you? With my…” Twilight trailed off. Her eyes dropped down to her softening dick. She could feel her face flush with heat, but as worked up as Twilight was, she knew what she wasn’t angry. Her heart was pounding again, like it had earlier that day. She was scared. She was scared that she might lose her relationship with her mom because of this little incident.

“Yes…” Velvet looked back down at the bedsheets. The older mare’s face turned a brighter shade of red too.

Silence filled the air as Twilight looked at her mom in complete disbelief. “So…it’s my fault…” she said softly. She drove her mother to do this without even realizing it. She was the one who brought this situation on them, whether she was aware of it or not. Now her mom thought she was angry, and this would destroy their relationship. She didn’t want that.

“No, Twilight. I let my better judgement get away from me.”

“But you wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for me!” Twilight protested desperately.

Velvet looked down at the sheets again. “Twilight, I’m sorry for doing this. Let’s just go back to sleep, and try to forget this ever happened, alright?” She crawled next to Twilight, giving her a small, almost empty smile. “This was a horrible mistake,” she thought as she lay next to Twilight.

That smile felt like a buck to her heart. That empty, soulless smile was the sign that she had just ruined her relationship with her mother. Twilight couldn’t let that happen. Her mom wanted this, or else she wouldn’t have acted on it. She had to make it right. “Mom…” Twilight started but paused when she realized what she was about to say.

“What is it?”

“If you…” She stopped herself again. Twilight was honestly considering the unthinkable for a moment. She couldn’t tell if it was the adrenaline, her fear, or her own lust getting the better of her, but she was seriously contemplating whether to ask her mom or not. Slowly, with a shy glance, she looked over at her mother. “If you need an outlet…I don’t mind…” she said weakly.

“T-Twilight?” The younger mare immediately shirked her mom’s gaze when she heard her voice. “Are you being serious?” she asked, almost laughing in sheer disbelief.

“Yes…” Twilight said, meeting her mother’s eyes for only a brief moment before looking away again.

She only stared at her, letting her offer actually sink in. Her little girl was actually offering her sex. In an instant her mind buzzed with all the arguments and reasons she shouldn’t do this. It was incest, Twilight was still too young, this was taking advantage of her, she was supposed to be a positive influence on her— but through all those arguments, her daughters meek, innocent eyes kept bouncing back to her. As she looked into the young mare’s eyes, glinting in the purple glow of her magic, she saw something.

Behind that look of innocence, there was a sexual need in her daughter’s eyes. She brought this upon Twilight by doing something so inappropriate, and now that Twilight was offering, it was only proper that she should give her relief. Helping her child was what a mother would do after all. Besides, it wasn’t as though she hadn’t gotten herself worked up as well.

She lifted a hoof to Twilight’s cheek. The younger mare didn’t flinch from the soft brush. Instead she lovingly nuzzled her mother’s hoof, showing her she wasn’t angry. Her daughter—her only flesh and blood left; family had become such a fragile thing over the past two months. She wouldn’t let that slip away from her. She smiled at Twilight, no longer empty, but heartfelt. “Twilight…”

“Mom…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she replied with a nod.

“Then lie on your back, sweetie.” She gently pressed her hoof to her daughter’s chest and guided her back to the mattress. Once Twilight was on her back, she slid her hoof down her chest. Her slow, purposeful touch made the young mare squirm in anticipation, but Velvet knew better than to rush into this. What younger ponies like Twilight didn’t know was the subtle art of excitement. She would build the tension for her daughter until she couldn’t take it anymore. She watched as her hoof traced a visible line in the younger mare’s underbelly fur.

Twilight’s body tensed as her mother’s gentle caress trailed down her body. Her skin was tingling from the tip of her mom’s hoof gliding across her fur. The soft, subtle touch was unlike anything she had felt before. No one had ever touched her like this, and it made her heart race. Her entire body went stiff as soon as she felt her mom brush up against the head of her dick. She watched as the older mare’s hoof elegantly slid along her length, and onto her shaft. When she felt the warm, soft fur on the underside of her mom’s hoof touch sensitive flesh, she turned her eyes to the pony touching her. Twilight looked at her with wide, pleading eyes.

Velvet only smiled at Twilight as she slowly moved her hoof softly along Twilight’s shaft. She stroked the sensitive member, building up her daughter’s arousal once more. The dick under her hoof stiffened, and was throbbing once more with only a few strokes, but she wasn’t done. Her hoof continued to stroke Twilight as she relished in the look of sheer pleasure on the younger mare’s face as she squirmed.

Velvet slid her hoof over the tip, getting her fur soaked with her daughter’s pre. She then spread that slimy goo along her length. Twilight moaned as she rubbed more and more lubrication along her shaft. Finally, her daughter looked up at her with almost pained eyes.

Velvet lifted her slick hoof up to her nose. She paused for a moment, giving her thoroughly soaked fur a tentative sniff. It was difficult for her because she knew it was her daughter’s, but months without such a wonderfully pungent smell left her wanting. It felt like ages since she had smelled something so masculine—despite coming from a mare. Her dissenting thoughts were silenced as that scent filled her lungs. Velvet closed her eyes before licking her daughter’s pre off the underside of her hoof.

When she opened her eyes, she looked down at Twilight. The younger mare’s eyes were full of uncertainty and lust. It was a peculiar mix of emotions Velvet hadn’t seen in years, though couldn’t she say when she last saw it. But, she also noticed the impatience and yearning inside her daughter’s gaze. She smiled at Twilight after she cleaned her hoof. “You look like you’re ready,” she said softly.

Twilight only gave a soft nod. Her hoof—still shaking, though for a different reason now—found its way to her mouth. The hoofjob her mother gave her was close to putting Twilight on the edge. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could last. Suddenly the purple glow in the room grew brighter when her mom’s horn sparked to life. Around her colthood she felt the warm tingle of unicorn magic lifting her shaft up. Twilight’s eyes grew wide when she saw her mom climb on top of her. She swallowed hard—this was it.

Twilight felt an almost burning heat mere inches away from her cock. Her whole body tensed again just from the thought of what was so close to her. Seeing Twilight’s pained expression, her mom leaned back a bit, and a wet warmth touched the tip of her shaft. Twilight couldn’t help but buck her hips forward a bit to try and delve into the promised land laid before her. As she pushed forward, her dick slipped past her mother’s slick entrance and slid between the older mare’s hind legs. Twilight whimpered in dismay when she saw her dick looking back at her again.

Velvet let out a small laugh at her daughter’s feeble attempts to slide inside her. She brushed Twilight’s mane with a loving hoof. “Don’t rush it. I’ll take care of it, sweetie,” she cooed in a soft, sweet voice. Velvet lifted her hips once more, and realigned Twilight’s dick. She rubbed her daughter’s member against her slit once more before lowering herself onto Twilight’s shaft.

Twilight hissed as she sank deeper into her mom’s folds. A burning, slick heat enveloped her. It took every ounce of willpower not to thrust forward as hard as she could to end the slow, tortuous descent into her mom’s pussy. She needed to feel her entire length buried in that wondrous warmth. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait long. As soon as Twilight’s hips met her mom’s, both mares let out a high pitched moan.

“It’s been so long…” Velvet said with an almost laugh.

Their eyes locked and Velvet gave her a small smile. Twilight looked up at her, panting desperately. “Oh my goodness…” she muttered softly. “I-I’ve never felt anything like this before…”

Suddenly, Velvet’s eyes opened wide. She realized where she had seen that look in Twilight’s eyes before. It was from her husband on their first night together—the night they lost their virginities together. “Twilight…was this your first time?” she asked, almost scared of the answer to come.

Twilight nodded weakly.

She stared at her daughter as Twilight pressed her hoof to her quivering lips. She put her own hoof on Twilight’s chest, staring at the back thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I’m sorry your first time was with your mother…”

Twilight shook her head. “Don’t be sorry; I’m not. I wanted to do this…” Twilight pulled her hoof away from her mouth, and gave a reassuring smile. She offered this, and she would have no regrets. “As long as you’re enjoying this, I’m happy.”

Velvet gave a small, heartfelt smile. “No, Twilight. It’s your first time, so I have to make sure you enjoy this.” Her hoof slid off her daughter’s chest and onto the mattress below. She closed her eyes, and lifted her hips from Twilight’s. As she rose, she could hear the younger mare whimpering below her. A pair of hooves found themselves on her haunches, desperately holding her. There was an almost jolt running through her whole body as more and more of Twilight slid out of her marehood. Her sex desperately squeezed the thick shaft inside her, begging it not to leave.

Just as the tip of Twilight’s dick was about to slip free of her confines, she slammed back down onto Twilight’s member. Velvet could feel Twilight shivering below her from the sensations running through the inexperienced mare’s body. The pained look on her face as she struggled to process all the feelings going through her was simply precious. “Just like her father…” she mused to herself.

Velvet closed her eyes. Twilight acted so much like her father at times, she couldn’t help but be reminded of him. As she continued to move her hips, she started to push everything out of her mind. All of the voices in her head she had yelling at her—telling her this was wrong fell silent as she focused on the sensations. She could drown out her conscience and sorrow if she just let this primal need absorb her for the night.

“Mom…” Twilight said weakly from behind her hoof. She still couldn’t believe this was happening to her. No sexual pleasure in her life could compare to this; masturbation simply paled in comparison. Her entire member was engulfed in a blissfully warm heaven, stroked and squeezed expertly with each pass. The constant stimulation was enough to drive her crazy. It took every ounce of willpower she had to not start bucking her hips wildly.

She could feel a familiar sensation starting to boil up from within her. Each time her mom bounced along her shaft, she could feel her orgasm racing closer. It wouldn’t be long: Twilight wasn’t particularly sexually active. She rarely clopped, so she was incredibly sensitive to begin with. Every single twitch of her mom’s pussy sent a jolt running through her. With such an experienced mare, it was a miracle she had lasted this long. As she lay there, Twilight could only look up in awe, marveling at how her mom moved.

She watched Velvet as she continued to brace herself on the bed as she bounced. The older mare’s usually well-combed mane was a tousled mess, and she was panting like crazy. She had never seen her mother like this before. Velvet was a complete wreck, but she looked so blissful. Twilight had never been especially attracted to mares, even though she had both sets of equipment so to speak, but seeing her mother like this, she realized how beautiful she looked. For a moment, she understood why her father took interest in her in the first place.

Such a beautiful mare was actually having sex with her. It was so unreal. Twilight continued to watch her mom bouncing on her hips, and she starting to question if this was reality. Her mom was actually having sex with her—this simply couldn’t be real. She had to still be dreaming. Even though she had been there, Twilight couldn’t quite wrap her mind around how they went from comforting one another, to having sex. This had to be some perverted, stress-induced dream. But, as unreal as this was, it wasn’t a dream. A building sensation inside her told her otherwise. No dream felt this real. Twilight was about to cum, and her mom showed no signs of slowing down.

“Night Light…” her mother called out in ecstasy.

That cry hit Twilight hard. Her eyes went wide at the realization for a moment only to dull with lust once more. Suddenly, she remembered why they were doing this. It was simply relief. This was a distraction for her mom—and though Twilight didn’t want to admit it—for herself as well. They were doing this for some comfort. This was their way of escaping their pain for a while, and for her mother, that mean imagining she was with her father. Twilight could understand that.

“I-I’m going to cum…” Twilight tried to speak loud enough for her mom to hear, but she was too absorbed in riding her dick that she didn’t hear. Velvet only continued slamming down onto Twilight as hard as she could. The younger mare felt her mother tighten around her, squeezing her as hard as she could. It was almost torturous how wonderful it felt. Every time their hips met, Twilight’s mind grew more and more hazy with lust. Her release was the only thing filling her mind now.

“Night Light!” Velvet cried again.

Twilight could hold on any longer. She was about to cum. Instincts took over, and she pushed her hooves into her mother’s haunches, pulling her as close as she could. In an instant, Twilight’s member was completely engulfed in a silky warmth that squeezed her—begging for her to cum. The muscles around her coaxed her building orgasm out, and she erupted inside her mother’s pussy.

Velvet opened her eyes when she felt two hooves grab hold of her. She looked down to see her daughter squeezing her eyes shut from the sheer pleasure. “I was so close…” she thought to herself. But just as she finished that thought, she felt a surge of sticky warmth fill her. Twilight’s twitching member, her quivering body, and the warm seed she was filling her with sent Velvet over the edge.

The darkness around them faded as a purple glow overtook the room. Both Twilight and her mother’s horns were glowing as their orgasms took them. Twilight whimpered, almost unsure how else to express this feeling. No orgasm before in her life had ever felt so good. The warm, massaging walls around her continued to coax more and more cum from her until she finally couldn’t take it anymore. Her hips started wiggling to get free from her mom. The sensations became too much for her to bear.

Her mom fell down onto the bed next to her, letting Twilight slip free of her confines. She collapsed next to her daughter, utterly exhausted and panting for air. She weakly looked at Twilight who was in much the same shape. Velvet smiled at Twilight, and let her eyes slip closed. She was too exhausted to think or grieve. For the moment, her pain was the farthest thing from her mind, and she could sleep.

Twilight couldn’t keep her eyes open either. As the glow in the room died, she drifted off to sleep too. Though she knew what they had done was immoral and wrong in just about every sense of the word, she found some solace in the fact that she was not alone. She had her mother, and she would do anything to make sure that the one whom she holds dear in her life would not suffer.

Author's Note

Well this was an interesting story. I came up with this when I happened upon a very NSFW picture, and my mind just went from there. The idea of Twilight and her mom being alone in the world, and deepening their relationship because of how isolated they felt because of tragedy was actually an early part of this concept too. Anyway, look forward to future chapters to see how their relationship progresses because it's going to get a lot worse...or better if you're into this kind of stuff. A full blown romance is on the horizon, and it's of the forbidden kind.

Thanks to Azure Blackstone for a quick once over as well.