Tales by Balefirelight (a Fallout: Equestria Group Collab)

Earth

by Sophos

“OOOOH, it ain't no trick, to get rich quick, when you dig dig dig with a hammer and a pick-”

“I will kill you, I swear it.”

“Why yous always so grumpys?”

“We've been at this for twenty-seven hours, and you've been singing that same line for the last three. If you don't know the next verse, DON'T SING IT!” The grumpy mare paused a moment, blind in the complete darkness, and listened for her own nightmares. “Don't sing at all!” She whispered to her canine companion.

“Whats!? I ams digging all the hole-”

“SHHHHH!”

“Scared-EE cat, if there somepony in hole; me will hears it.”

“Just like you heard this tunnel we've been digging to!?”

“It's not far nows, me have ninth sense for these things.” The Diamond Dog returned to his task.

“There's only five senses you idiot!”

“HEE HEE HEE!” The canine's laughter fell somewhere between giggling and exhaling. “What abouts tastes, and smells, and cold, and ground-shaking?”

“What was that!?”

“Me not hears it, it nothing- OOOOH-”

“I WILL kill you, I don't care if I have to drag your carcass around by this chain.”

“HEE HEE!” The canine yanked the mare close, by the chain that connected them, then lifted her off the ground. “That is stupids, why not gnaw through me neck and just drag chain?” He dropped the mare. “If yous can.”

*Cough* *Cough* “It times like this I wish they used bomb-collars! And I could have made my own damn escape, thank you.”

“Yous welcome.”

“Just keep digging! They could be on us any minute.”

“It take us longs times, it will take thems longs times.”

“They don't have to dig! They just have to catch up to us! Maybe if you hadn't dug in zig-zags, slowing us down-”

“It slows thems down too, that's why me dig that way.”

“I-” The mare did not enjoy being outwitted by s Diamond Dog, so she simply started digging. The canine was much faster and larger than she was, but the loose soil had to packed against the walls and ceiling to prevent it from caving in; or at least, she thought so. Cold, damp, dark, and with unusual scents; the dirt was rich with life. It crawled with bugs and worms, but they did not seem invasive or alien. Moist roots, that the canine handed her, were delicious and wild; they tasted faintly how the earth smelled: like a water lily that had never been cooked by the Sun; raw.

“Waits!” He sniffed, and sniffed, then dug straight down; she assumed, she had lost all sense of direction hours before.

The chain snapped taut, then yanked her down after him. “GAAAAaaaaaaaaahhh!”

************************************

She didn't know how long it had been, but she had landed on something soft, hairy- She opened her eyes, there was some source of light in the room but she was more concerned with partner in crime. “Hey, uh- I never got your name. Wake UP!”

“But mommy! Me don't wanna go to schools- Ah!” He sat up with a start, throwing the mare off of him and gripping his side. “Ouchies! Ribs, brokens.”

The mare rolled off the canine, and down a short pile of bones. “What the...”

“What's the- uh...”

“This looks like a bunker, but...”

“Buts whats?”

“But those aren't Equestrian uniforms, and why all the pictures of Zebras?”