The Pink Beast

by xl9

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 1398

A powerful monster is dead-set to devour Equestria, and the kingdom's greatest heroes are prepared for the worst. But nothing could prepare them for the pink menace lurking in Tartarus.

All he sees, he swallows.
Anything that gets in his way will be devoured.
He has rampaged through the cosmos, destroying worlds in his wake.
And now he's coming to Equestria.
With the very fate of Equestria in the balance, Princess Celestia sends her most trusted heroes out to deal with this threat. Some call him the blob with the mouth. Others know him as the super tough pink puff. In Equestria, he's known by a more common name…

KIRBY

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-11 22:50:04 UTC

Chapter 1: Enter Kirby

Craftier than Chrysalis. More menacing than Sombra. Stronger than Tirek. Legends spoke of his arrival for many eons, but none had ever believed this day would come.

When news of his arrival spread to Canterlot, Princess Celestia panicked. Massive power surges were detected in the dragon badlands, that like no other beast of this world. However, Celestia knew who was responsible. The pink menace, the destroyer of worlds was rising out of Tartarus. Her reaction was swift, send the kingdom’s most treasured heroes to await for its arrival and defeat the threat before it could destroy the proud kingdom.

The six mares had arrived at the gates of Tartarus, fire and brimstone surrounding the swirling vortex that served as the entryway to the hellish dimension. While the elements of harmony themselves may have been long gone, the heroes of Equestria knew that knew would always be a way for friendship to overcome evil.

That didn’t make them any less nervous to confront the beast from the other realm.

Celestia told them stories about the monster, an indescribable word destroyer who travelled through galaxies, leaving nothing behind. He ate all in his wake, from innocent creatures to otherworldly conquerors. And now he was coming to Equestria.

They called him…

Kirby.

The six heroes were prepared for the worst as they approached the lava-spewing gateway. Applejack spun her lasso, Twilight readier a laser spell, Pinkie Pie had her trio of Party Cannons ready,  Fluttershy had prepared herself to deliver a stunning stare, Rarity assumed a fighting stance, and Rainbow Dash was hovering above them, ready to rainboom on command.

The vortex surged, shooting out large boulders and bursts of fire as he arose. They thought they were prepared for any foe to appear, from a one thousand eyed spider to a swirling mass of skeletal tentacles.

They weren’t prepared for a stout, pink blob-like creature to leap out, humming a cheerful tune. After a brief moment of shock, the hot-blooded Rainbow Dash attacked.

“YAAAAAAAAAA!” Dash screamed, flying at top speeds at the beast. Sadly, her war scream broke Twilight’s focus, causing a searing beam of pure energy to discharge, headed in Dash’s general direction. She swayed out of the beam’s path, instead barreling straight towards the row of Party Cannons Pinkie had set up.

Dash clipped the first one, and got her head stuck in the second one. The second one collapsed like dominoes, aiming the cannon in Pinkie's general direction. Thankfully, none of them discharged. Well, none of them except for the last one, which launched Pinkie right at Twilight’s face. The two collided, the pure force of the cannon knocking the wind out of them both.

“You…” Rarity gritted her teeth, seething in anger. “You ruffian! I will destroy you!” She shouted, running forwards in a fancy karate pose. Only problem was that the rocky terrains surrounding Tartarus weren’t meant for two legs, causing Rarity to trip on a boulder and bang her head.

Applejack charged at the pink creature, swinging her lasso at a nearby cliff face. In one swift motion, she leapt off the ground with hooves poised to knock the monster into kingdom come. She just may have slightly overshot it.

Applejack’s hind legs hit Fluttershy in the back of the head, knocking the poor pegasus over. As Applejack looked back to apologize, she got the full blast of her friend’s stare. The farmpony’s muscles tensed as she dropped like a sack of bricks inches before the monster.

It hadn’t even lifted an appendage, and Equestria’s greatest heroes lay in a crumpled heap. Rainbow Dash was just pulling her head out of a cannon barrel, Pinkie Pie and Twilight were untangling, Rarity and Fluttershy were slowly getting back on their hooves, and Applejack’s muscles began to relax. Despite their recoveries, things didn’t look too good for the fate of the kingdom, or the world it inhabited.

The six backed away in fear, all on their four hooves. “Who are you,” Twilight demanded, doing her best to put on a brave face. “And what do you want with our universe?”

There was a silence as the beast scratched its head thinking of a reply. Finally, it came up with a suitable comeback.

“HIIIIIII!” The pink blob screamed, waving its stubby hand.

Everypony was stunned.

“Did I hit my head too hard,” Rarity began, justifiably confused. “Or did that thing just say… Hi to us?”

Kirby simply nodded his head, puffing out his bright pink cheeks. Fluttershy smiled at his sight, causing the rest of her friends to slightly relax. Maybe the thing wasn’t so bad after all?

That idea was quickly discarded after they heard a monstrous roar that could cause an Ursa Major to turn tail escape his stomach.

“Aww,” Pinkie giggled, pointing at the thing’s the thing’s grumbling chest. “Look at him! He must be so hungry!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned “Hungry for our souls, maybe.” Pinkie Pie ignored her friend’s snark and began to hop on over to Kirby.

“Pinkie, dear, I really do think it’s best that you don’t approach-” Rarity began, but it was too late. Pinkie Pie had gone and held out a small cupcake to the thing.

Her friends seemed petrified by fear, too frightened by the bouncy blob to act. Was this going to be how it all ended? With Pinkie giving a snack to an eldritch abomination? Thankfully, luck was on their side today.

Kirby happily accepted the gift, nibbling on the sweet confectionary.  “Aww,” Pinkie laughed as Kirby ate the treat out of her hoof. “He tickles!”

The friends exchanged worried glances, before Applejack spoke up. “So… Er, what’s your name sugarcube?”

The blob paused for a second before drawing his name in the ground with a leg.

“So… Kirby?” The blob nodded before Applejack continued. “You’re not an evil overlord? I mean… Ya looke kinda adorable for something thats supposed to be so evil.”

Kirby nodded his head with a reassuring “YAH, EH!”

“Oh, um, that’s good to know,” Fluttershy meekly smiled.

“Don’t let him trick you!” Rainbow Dash protested, flaring her wings. “How do you know he’s not just lying? He might be lying in wait, ready to destroy us all!”

“Now now, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity chided. “Haven’t you learned not to judge a pony by it’s cover?” Rarity quickly corrected herself “Or otherworldly creature?” Dash reluctantly nodded in agreement.

“This is amazing,” Twilight mused, drafting a note to Princess Celestia. “Maybe this creature is actually innocent after all! What if she misread the power of this… Kirby! I need to notify her right away that there’s no issue!”

As the ponies discussed the new development, Pinkie walked Kirby back over to the group of friends. “See Kirby? I’m Pinkie, this is AJ, this is Rarity, this is Twilight, this is Fluttershy, and this is Dashie!” She punctuated each name by hugging her friends, quite possibly cracking their ribcages.

Kirby simply nodded his head, the tiny gears in his brain processing each delectable treat. He found it a bit weird that the pink one told him their names, he already knew what they were! Cotton candy. Apples. Marshmallows. Eggplant. Butter. Skittles. All extremely delicious foods to eat later.

Now wasn’t the time for eating, he wasn’t very hungry. After all, that nice piece of cotton candy gave him a cupcake! He would save these snacks for later. Unfortunately, Kirby’s wonderful daydream was not meant to last. The pink blob of cotton candy dragged him over to the other snacks, and the giant stick of butter patted his head.

“Aw, we’re sorry we tried to hurt you.” She smiled, rubbing its head. “Right girls?”

The snacks nodded sympathetically. “We’re sorry!” They all quickly apologized, their heads hung low in shame.

“Wasn’t very nice of us of us ta’ attack you before you got a chance to speak your mind,” Applejack nudged the walking pack of skittles next to her. “Right, Rainbow?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Dash nervously rubbed the back of her head. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Puyo!” Kirby jumped in the air, waving his arms.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She beamed, causing the entire group to chuckle.

“Well!” Twilight happily clapped her hooves together. “Lets go and tell Celestia the good news!”

As they departed, Kirby’s stomach quietly rumbled.

The ponies of Equestria had no idea what they were in for.