The last vestiges of dawn faded away and with it, the last of Twilight’s friends had trotted off to their homes to sleep, leaving her alone on the hilltop to watch as the stars twinkled to life one by one. Twilight smiled to herself as she watched familiar constellations form in the sky like puzzles coming together. Closing her eyes she let a breath out through her nose and took a deep breath as she tilted her head back and let the breeze wash over her.
Beneath a canvas of black, I close my eyes and let my mind drift free
Each moment of the day flitting across the bleak expanse above me
Holes are torn in the darkness as light spills forth
Shadows are born and banished as each new hole is torn in darkness
I eagerly await the dawn, but I no longer fear the night
The moments of joy and friendship have torn the darkness apart
Now the fears are kept at bay by the twinkling moments of time
The moments of time that guide me through life, the moments that made me who I am
I open my eyes and see a beautiful canvas full of memories that light the way to a new dawn
As the last word left Twilight's lips she opened her eyes with a content smile gracing her lips. A voice behind her spoke up. “That was quite a beautiful poem Twilight.”
The purple alicorn jumped into the air and spun around, her cheeks crimson and mouth open in surprise. “LUNA!” Twilight glanced around frantically for a moment before sighing. “Thank you, I am glad you like it.” She turned around and settled back into the grass, Luna joining her as they both looked at the sky.
A comfortable silence hung between them for a while as they both enjoyed the cool night breeze and the cloudless sky. “Tis quite pleasing to know somepony else loves my sky as much as myself.” Luna broke the silence and turned to look at Twilight who returned the look. “It’s been many years since we could share it with anypony besides our sister. Not since before...before the fall, have we shared the night with anypony.”
Twilight smiled serenely and reached a hoof out like she was trying to touch the stars.“I have always loved the night, I love Celestia’s days but there’s something about the peace of a starlit sky. When I was young I used to go up on the roof or to the highest balcony at night whenever I felt troubled or scared and just stare up at the stars quietly by myself.” Twilight pulled her hoof back and closed her eyes for a second, humming a few bars of an old lullaby before she opened them again. “The stars always reminded me of everything I had. The blackness beyond them was the fear that gripped my heart whenever I thought of my parents that I had left behind and the stars were the memories I had with them. Even now it’s like that, though the fear is no longer about my parents and the memories are with so many others.”
Twilight stopped and looked at Luna. “Nowadays I come out to look at the stars when I am feeling lost. When there is a question I can’t find the answer to and need somewhere quiet to think about it.”
Luna looked back at Twilight. “Really? What is troubling thee, if we may inquire? Hast thou gone to my sister for advice?”
The young alicorn shook her head and turned her gaze to Canterlot. “I don’t think she could help me with this problem. I know she has experience in it, she is thousands of years old but I don’t think she could help me find the answer I seek.”
Luna tapped her chin for a moment. “What of thine stepsister, Cadence?” The dark alicorn tilted her head. “Could she perhaps offer thee advice on the matter, perhaps a friend or family member?”
Again Twilight shook her head. “My friends would usually be my first stop but I don’t believe any of them have any real experience with what bothers me. Rarity would like us to think she does but her idea of it is romanticized. She loves the idea of it but has never truly experienced it.” Twilight paused and turned her eyes north. “Cadence, Cadence might be able to offer advice but I don’t think I want to turn to her on the matter She has been known to be a little overly enthusiastic with problems like the one I am facing.”
Luna turned her eyes back to the stars. “So thou turn to the night for answers. Perhaps then thou wouldst like to ask the Mistress of the Night for advice?”
The wind whispered across the hilltop causing Twilight to shiver as it brushed over the back of her neck. Closing her eyes she took a few deep breaths of night air, letting the cool air cleanse her lungs and calm her nerves. “Perhaps I should.”
The wind slowed a little and Twilight’s mane fell to cover her eyes as she exhaled slowly and then inhaled deeply. “It’s...” The words died on her tongue and her shoulders slumped. With a shake of her head she lifted it and looked into Luna’s eyes, getting lost for a moment in deep blue color that seemed to reflect the night sky. “Would you...” Her tongue twisted around itself and the words died again. Luna smiled warmly at her, a look of understanding held in her eyes joined with her smile to calm Twilight slightly.
Her eyes turned to the ground where she plucked a single flower from the grass with a hoof. The rolled it from side to side on the flat of her hoof, watching intently as the petals spun. “Would you, Luna, know of dreams?” Twilight’s face turned bright red as the words left her mouth and she buried her face in her hooves to hide.
Luna lifted an eyebrow quizzically. “We would hope we do, we are the caretaker of dreams after all.”
Twilight shook her head. “Not those dreams. Dreams, like things you want.”
Luna chuckled. “Oh. We thinketh everypony does. Everypony hath dreams, something they desire.” She turned to look at the mare beside her. “For what purpose does thou ask?”
Twilight shifted in place a little. “No reason really. It’s just, lately, I have had this one dream that won’t go away.”
“Oh. And what might that dream be.” Luna smiled warmly at Twilight. “What kind of dream does thou have that my sister, thine step sister or even thine friends can’t help with?”
Twilight shifted uncomfortably in place as she tried to find a way to phrase the question. “It’s about a pony.” Luna nodded and motioned for her to continue causing Twilight’s cheeks to turn redder. “I...they...” Her words died in her throat and her eyes turned down.
Luna smiled warmly and nuzzled her. “It’s okay. Thou needst not need to tell me, we were just hoping we could help, maybe find out why we haven’t heard from thee in so long.”
Twilight bit her lip and and took a deep breath. “It’s okay, I...I just...it’s really new to me. The dream is to have this pony beside me. I want to be there beside them while they’re beside me.”
Luna covered her mouth with a hoof as she let out a small gasp. “Oh.” She smiled coyly. “We see, that’s how it is. Twilight, Celestia’s star pupil has, in fact, fallen in love.”
Twilight squeaked and did a fair impersonation of Fluttershy by trying to hide herself with her wings. “I don’t know. I...what is love Luna?”
Luna lifted a hoof and placed it on Twilight’s shoulder. “That is...a tricky a question.”
Twilight lifted her head enough to peak over her hooves. “Could you...teach me? About love, I mean? Teach me about what it is?”
For a moment the ancient pony was taken back by the question. It was something she had not considered for over a thousand years, not since...not since before she fell because of how much love hurt her. She considered telling the curious pony beside her just that, love was dangerous and not worth it-but something stopped her, instead she chose to be honest. “Love is many things, Twilight. It is the warm hug of a mother and the caring words of a father. Love is the friend thou leans against in hard times and it is the protection of an older brother. Most of all though, love is something that can’t be defined. Love can be described with a thousand words formed into poems, or a hundred songs sung to the one who pulls at thous heart but those are not truly love. Love is something inside a pony that can never truly be defined, only described.”
The flower ceased its spinning and the aura dissipated allowing the breeze to take the flower away. “But then how can one ever learn what it is, how to know it and understand it? If one can describe it how can it be undefined?”
Luna watched the flower float away as she answered. “By trial and error. Thou must allow oneself to fall in love and then be hurt, only to fall again. Love is something that is never taught but still learned. Thou can be guided through love and told what may happen, but love is something that is never the same twice. Sometimes it’s the quick beating of the heart when that special pony or creature is around, other times it’s the feeling of safety thou feelest around them.” Luna pulled a second flower from the grass. “Sometimes thou mayest find somepony to guide thee through it, sometimes thou stumble and trip through it—but there is no way to learn about love without experiencing it for thyself.”
Luna twirled the flower around. “Love is something that can grow and change as it is felt and it is as unique as the creatures held in its grasp. The difference between describing it and defining it is more of a philosophical question; it is akin to the difference between knowing something and understanding something. Any poet can describe love but to truly define love he would need to have felt it before. Like my sister and I, long ago we knew we wanted a kingdom but did not understand what it meant to have a kingdom. It is a fine line that is as thick as the largest tome in the archives.”
Twilight stared at the flower as it twirled back and forth in the magical grasp of the ruler of the night. “But then how can one know when they feel love? How can a pony know that the love they feel isn't the same love as for a family member or friend? How can a pony know what she feels?”
A petal was pulled from the flower and tossed into the wind and Luna spoke again as she watched it dance into the sky. “Thou must look to others, find thyself a guide. For some it is the feeling in their chest, that flutter of your stomach when they are near. For some it’s the quickening of their heartbeat. No pony can ever tell thee what it is thou feels because only thou can understand thine own heart until you give it to another to care for.” A tear rolled down Luna’s cheek. “For my sister and I it is the feeling of loss we get when we see the pony. To know we will outlive them and lose them like a fleeting day.” Luna sniffled as her eyes fixed on a single star in the sky. “Only when thou hast given another thine heart to care for can they begin to truly understand thee.”
Twilight reached out with a wing and caught the tear. “But what if you choose wrong, what if you trust your heart to the wrong pony?”
Luna took a deep breath. “Then thou pickest up the pieces and start anew.”
Twilight scooted closer to Luna. “And what happens to the guide?”
Luna furrowed her brow. “The guide?” She smiled a little. “The guide is left to watch as the one they helped stands up for themselves and falls for themselves. If the guide was given a piece of the heart to care for then the guide will step forward when their charge falls and help them up again. The role of the guide is the saddest role of all.”
Twilight tilted her to the side. “Why? Why does the guides role have to be a sad one? Can the guide not find happiness as well?”
“The guide can but often the guide is overlooked. They are given a single piece of the puzzle to care for so that the one they help can have something to rebuild from. A guide who falls for their charge is doomed to find sorrow when the one they help falls into the hooves of another.” Luna pulled another petal free. “Love is a powerful force and a dangerous force. It can destroy a pony or make them stronger but it is the greatest force in the universe. Even greater than the gods who created the world or the gods who try to destroy it.”
Twilight sighed. “I still don’t understand though. If love is always so different then why do so many describe it the same way?” Twilight stared intently at Luna. “How can a pony sit beside another pony and know it’s love if all she is told are the same accounts of a hundreds of poems?”
Luna laid a wing over Twilight’s back. “Because love often has many similarities between all ponies when it strikes, a common thread among them all. It’s something thou willst find in all written works of love, the physical signs, but those can be misleading. There are many things that can be mistaken for love. Lust, for one, can overpower ones mind and make thee believe thou are in love. While there is nothing wrong with lust one must be careful not to mistake it for love.”
Twilight snuggled into the warmth beside her and interrupted Luna’s speech. “Why?”
Luna smiled at Twilight. “Because a relationship cannot be built on lust alone. Lust does not harbour trust. While it is true that it may bring two ponies close it does not truly connect their hearts unless they let it. It may lead to love but that love may be tainted by the lust that bore it.” Another petal was pulled from the flower and released into the breeze to dance away into the night. “That is only one example though; there are other signs. Perhaps thou blushes when they are near because of a praise they bestowed upon thee or perhaps your heart quickens when they are around because they excite thee.”
Twilight furrowed her brow in thought and pulled a petal from the flower in Luna’s grasp. For a moment the flower was bathed in two auras that seemed to swirl together like lovers tongues. “Like Pinkie Pie. Her energy infects those around her and often causes their hearts to race.” Luna nodded. “So one might think that means they are attracted to her but it might be false.” Luna nodded again and Twilight wiggled against her side in a constrained happy dance. “So Love is not about the physical things mentioned in the poems, there is more to it.”
Smiling, Luna plucked the final petal free and threw it into the sky, followed by the stem shortly after. “Correct. It’s why so many ponies make mistakes in love. Love is a mystery to all and nopony truly understands it. Many spend their lives trying to understand it and ultimately fail because they never truly experience it. Others spend their lives searching for it and understand love better than any who study it closely. Poets often try to explain it and fail even if they scratch the surface of what it is.” Luna tightened her grip on Twilight a little, causing a cute squeak as she waved a hoof across the horizon. “Ponies always forget to stop and to think a little because they were told to follow their hearts into love—and yet even this can lead thee astray. Thou needs to balance the two; listen to thine heart with thine mind to find thine answers in love.”
Twilight looked up into the sky. “So in the end, no one can teach me of love. Instead I must open my heart to it and let it in and then remember to keep my wits about me so I don’t get swept away in it. if I can do that I might someday understand love and what it is for me.” Twilight plucked a flower. “I must stumble and fall and hope that my friends are there to catch me. I must let myself fall in love before I can understand what it is.”
The midnight blue alicorn nodded and smiled. “That is ultimately all one can do.” Looking down at the purple alicorn under her wing, Luna smiled softly. “Why the sudden interest in such things? Our sister has let me read a few of thine letters and never has anything like this come up before. Why now would thou wish to learn of what love is, when before thou hast avoided it?”
Twilight pulled herself out from under the wing and took a few steps forward to the edge of the hill. “I am not completely sure. Ever since I was given these wings.” She flared them for emphasis and stared at them a slight bit of sadness passed through her eyes before she folded them again. “My heart has felt strange. At first I thought it was simply a reaction to suddenly being an alicorn. I thought that maybe the prospect of outlasting my friends someday was causing my heart to ache but as time went on I realized it was something more.”
Twilight looked to the horizon where the sun would be rising in a few hours. “I then asked my friends what they thought and they all had no idea, though Rarity said it sounded like love. At first I thought it was ludicrous but then I lost both you and your sister when Discord's vines attacked. I knew then it wasn’t as strange as I would lead myself to believe and I began to wonder if perhaps Rarity was right.” Twilight turned back to Luna. “My first thought was research but that got me nowhere, though I did find a new appreciation for poetry. After that I began to fret; how was I to know what it was that caused my heart to ache? I had no idea what love was but it sounded so similar to what I was experiencing.”
Twilight stepped closer to Luna. “My first thought was to reach out to Celestia for advice, but I hesitated. Something told me she was not the right one to ask. I thought of my friends and Cadence, but in my heart I knew they to were not the ones I needed to seek advice from.” Twilight lowered herself so her eyes were level with Luna’s. “Then I realized the only one who could help me was the one who was causing me such pain. I didn’t have the courage to approach her though so I hid the ache. I buried it deep down inside myself, promising myself that one day I would let them out after I was sure. I would gather the courage and I would find a way to approach her—and I would let them out one day.”
Twilight stared into Luna’s eyes, holding them fast without needing a single word. Part of Luna was anxious, another was terrified, but there was this small part, buried deep inside her; that pulsed. The warmth in Twilight’s smile and the kindness in her eyes stirred the embers that Luna had long ago buried and believed to have been extinguished. For a moment, she felt afraid but then peace settled in as Twilight's voice washed over her once more. “I held onto them and I waited for the right moment. I waited and waited, fretting more and more until suddenly the chance presented itself. The source of my ache came to my side. She told me how to understand if what I felt was true or perhaps something else, she opened herself ever so slightly to me and gave me courage with her words. She let me know that what I felt could be false but the only way to be truly certain was to allow myself to fall, allow my heart to open and the feelings out. Though she did not know what she did, she gave me the courage I needed.”
Twilight placed her forehead against Luna’s gently. “She told me that I must find a balance between my heart and my mind. I cannot know what love is if I follow only my heart nor can I know it if I try to analyze and rationalize it.” Twilight pulled away slightly. “She told me I would have to let the feeling consume me before I could know what it was I felt. I may never be an expert but I think with her by my side I can take the first step.” She leaned forward and the world seemed to come to halt.
Luna’s breath caught in her throat as a pair of lavender lips pressed against hers in the moment where time stopped. It was a gentle feeling. There was no hunger in it, no desire, it was simply a kiss of love. The love did not burn her or pull her in; it warmed her. It flowed through her and found the embers that had been stirred and stoked them into a gentle flickering flame. The kiss wrapped around her heart and pushed through the small chinks in her armor, bursting it apart from the inside. Luna closed her eyes and let the feeling consume her. It felt like it lasted forever, but just as suddenly as it happened a coolness washed over her lips and she was left looking into two purple orbs full of caring.
“Just like that, the mare who caused me the most pain in my life washed it away. I know she is afraid of the world she is in and that I may be asking too much of her, but I don’t mind if she chooses to reject me. To know that I have shared my feelings with her is enough for me. I love her, of that I am sure, and that is all I need.” Luna watched the two orbs pull away and her face felt cold as the breeze tickled her nose. Twilight smiled warmly at her a she spread her wings to jump into the sky, a single tear trailing from her eyes.
In that moment Luna lost sight of Twilight, instead her past came to bear. The form of Twilight was replaced with a tan pegasus, his hooves resting on the balcony railing, head upturned towards the night sky. Luna felt the bile rise in her throat as the horrid moment replayed in her mind but with Twilight in her former loves place. The sizzle of a spell traveling through the air and the smell of burning feathers filled her mind before she dove forward with her hooves stretched out. “Don’t go! Don’t leave us again!” Twilight froze and dropped back to the ground. Her head turned back to see Luna sitting with a look of saddened horror on her face. “Don’t go! Please! You can’t leave me again.”
Twilight slowly turned around, her face wrinkled with worry. “Luna?”
Luna stiffened, her eyes unglazing and the look of horror fading. Shaking her head she tried to clear her mind. “Twilight?” She looked around the hill, unsteadily lowering to her stomach.
With care, Twilight approached the shaken alicorn and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” Luna shook her head, prompting Twilight to wrap her hooves and wings around her. “I’ll stay then.”
For a moment Luna was silent as Twilight ran a hoof through her ethereal mane, a thousand thoughts ran circles in her mind like dogs running after their own tails, destined to never catch it. Without prompting she spoke up. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Twilight's hoof slowed.
“Everything. Here we are teaching thee about love when the only love we know is loss.” Luna sniffled a little. “Thou hast askest us about love, that which we only know as loss, yet without right we hath told thee."
Silence took its throne on the hilltop again as Twilight thought about what Luna had said. “Is that why you said the role of a guide is a sad one?” Luna nodded solemnly. “Do you want to talk about him?”
Luna closed her eyes, remembering the pegasus from so long ago for a bit before speaking up. “His name was Ilum, he sought my sisters hoof. He came to us because of our closeness with our sister and our guard, of which he was a part. Over the years we grew quite close and we think we were the happiest we had ever been since my childhood.” The alicorn of the night stopped and sighed wistfully. “Even though we were only there to help him we fell in love but we kept it hidden and helped him woo our sister. Then one day after he had publicly asked to court her when he was in our room regaling us about the day, his life was taken.”
Twilight remained silent and gave Luna tight hug as the tears started anew. Luna buried her face in Twilight shoulder and they remained that way until Luna’s tears dried and she was able to speak. “We never discovered the identity of the murder, no pony was able to. He was our first love in nearly three hundred years and we bore witness to his death. We walked the same road thou walkest though our ending was far different. He is why we tried to steer thee away from love, albeit a poor job of it we did.”
Twilight pulled Luna closer and kissed her on the forehead. “I understand, I think, where you are coming from. You are afraid of love because of the pain it caused you before. But that love was one sided and you had no one to help you with it. You told me yourself that love is a burden best shared by two, though you did not say it in so many words. I can help you overcome the regret you feel about Illum if you let me. Even if you do not I will stay by your side as a friend and confidant until the end.”
Luna shifted nervously against Twilight chest and tried to pull away only for the grip to tighten. “How can thou love us Twilight, after the things we have done. How canst thee love a mare as broken as ourself?”
Twilight hummed to herself for a moment. “Because you are trying to fix yourself and atone for what you did. You are far stronger than you let yourself believe. To put on such a brave face among the citizens while feeling such pain and confliction underneath is no easy feat.” Twilight loosened her grip to let Luna back away a little. “Seeing you strive to be a better mare after everything is what made me first fall for you, seeing how you hide yourself around others despite the pain you feel is what made me want you more.”
Luna looked at Twilight, confusion written across her brow. “You think us strong? You think us brave?” Twilight nodded with a warm smile and Luna found herself blushing slightly. “We...we do not know what to think about that. We do not wish to believe it, but hearing thou sayest so almost makes us willing believe.”
Twilight let Luna go. “You don’t have to believe it. I believe it—and I want to show you that if you’ll let me. I want to be the one to help you through the bad times and the good. I want to be the mare by your side as you begin to see what I see. You don’t have to love me back; just let me be by your side.”
Luna shifted and fluffed her wings as she leaned towards Twilight. “Can thou promise us that thou shan’t leave our side?”
Twilight leaned forward with a smile and planted a kiss on Luna’s lips. Like before, it wasn't hungry or demanding; simply warm and loving. It eased her heart and mind and made her feel safe. It felt like something she had craved but never known and it brought tears to her eyes. As the purple alicorn pulled away, she wiped the tears from Luna's eyes with a hoof and smiled lovingly. “I promise.”
