Chapters Sugar Cube corner was bustling with hungry customers avoiding the sweltering mid summer heat: taking refuge in the bakery while they enjoy their sugary treats. Among them, two mares occupied a table, more interested in each others company than the confections on their plates. They were Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, and this was their first date.
“Wow, sounds like you had a crazy morning!” Twilight said as Dash regaled her with her misadventure earlier that day.
“You bet I did! I still have a headache from getting tossed into that bush! But your morning sounds pretty crazy too. I mean, you had a rabbit and a squirrel fighting in your mane!?” Rainbow said barely holding back her chuckle as she pictured the ridiculous scenario.
“Hey, you wouldn't be laughing if it were you! I didn't know bunnies had such sharp claws. I'm really going to need a shower when we're done.” Twilight straightened her mane with her hoof self-consciously.
“Relax Twi, It doesn't really matter to me... I think you look fine, I mean good! You look good!” Rainbow Dash blurted out as she blushed. I'm no good at this. I have no idea what to say or how. I sound lame! I bet she thinks I sound lame! Dash began shifting in her seat and looking down at her barely touched plate. Twilight watched as her date fidget anxiously, her demeanor becoming more calm knowing she wasn't alone in her nervousness. Resting her elbows on the table she folded her hooves and leaned slightly forward with a relaxed smile.
“Thanks.” She said cheerfully. She's so nervous. Is it really because she's trying to impress me? I should say something to help ease the mood. Twilight glanced around the bakery as she searched for a casual topic but her search was interrupted as Rainbow spoke up.
“I really mean it! Like, I don't know, It's just I've kind of felt that way for a while.” Dash said, the sincerity in her voice made it apparent to Twilight that she truly meant it. She couldn't help but feel a comfortable warmth spread through her chest. In an instant Dash's expression changed looking to Twilight how she would look while thinking through a difficult equation. “don't you think it's kind of weird though?”
“What's weird?” Twilight said, bemused by Dash's sudden and unexpected tangent.
“You know, this. This whole thing with us both conveniently being set up on dates at the same time by our friends and then both getting stood up?” She turned her eyes towards Twilight, resting her gaze on Twilight's deep violet eyes.
“It is strange. Do you think they set us up together? How could they be so sure it would work out so well?”
“Well... I may have told Fluttershy and Pinkie I was into mares but I don't get it, I didn't mention you at all.” Rainbow eyes drifted up as she thought back to her confession to Fluttershy. We'll, I guess I didn't exactly say I had the thing for Twi, but I sure did talk about her a lot. I guess it makes sense now, It must have been obvious to Fluttershy. Wait, if that's how Fluttershy figured out I was into Twilight... That means Twilight must have been talking about me too! She was talking about me. I just can't get over how awesome this is. I never really thought I would end up on a date with Twilight. I guess life's just weird like that. Oh well, not like I'm complaining.
“I don't know either.” Twilight began as she enjoyed the dreamy look that had overtaken Dash's expression. “I never told anypony I was like mares at all except Spike and my family.”
Her horn began to glow as she levitated a bite of strawberry cheesecake to her mouth, it melting to a cool and flavorful lump in her mouth. She closed her eyes and gave a content hum as she let the sweet flavor tantalize her taste buds. That was so good! Well, I guess I never told Spike to keep it a secret anyway. Now that I think back, I suppose I did talk about Rainbow on more than a few occasions. I would go on about a new trick she learned or the latest issue of Daring Do that we were both reading. I guess I always held admiration towards her, but now that I look at it from this new perspective I can see, I've been fond of Rainbow Dash for quite a while. I guess our friends got tired of seeing us be oblivious. I bet it was Rarity's idea, she probably heard about it from Spike.
“Hey girls!” A familiar and ever excited voice shouted from beside them, eliciting a startled jump from both Dash and Twilight.
“Could you keep it down Pinkie, I got a headache.” Dash said rubbing her temple with her hoof.
“Oops! Sorry Dashie. So, what are you both doing here?” Pinkie Pie asked innocently with her usual amiable demeanor. At the harmless sounding question Dash broke into a soft blush and looked pleadingly towards Twilight.
“W-well Pinkie.. Dash and I..” Twilight stuttered as she struggled to find the best possible wording and to gather her nerve.
“Yea, Twi and me, we're kind of um...” Dash said, fumbling with her words as bad as twilight was. Both glancing at each other and back to Pinkie Pie.
“We're on a date!” They exclaimed simultaneously, earning many incredulous looks from the other patrons as well as a few shocked and delighted gasps. While the other customers were stunned by the sudden revelation, Pinkie was beaming, her pearly white teeth fully exposed by her wide grin. Oh boy... Was written on both their faces as they waited for the explosion of hyperactive enthusiasm that often proceeded that look on Pinkie's face. They braced their ears for what was to come.
“That! Is! Awesome!” Pinkie screamed in her shrill, squeaky voice loudly enough to not shake the entire bakery but also leave Dash and Twilight's ears ringing.
“Pinkie!” Twilight and Dash both reprimanded at once. Pinkie however, continued joyfully bouncing up and down around their table.
“I knew you two would get together soon! I told Rarity that you two were totally falling for each other and that you should definitely be a couple!” Pinkie exclaimed proudly while Twilight and Rainbow stared at her in disbelief.
“Pinkie, you don't mean...” Twilight trailed off as her brain began to put all the pieces together.
“That I convinced Rarity to set you up? That's exactly what I mean! You and Dashie are just so cute together I just had to and you two definitely weren't going to do it anytime soon.” They both blushed at Pinkie's complement and Dash couldn't help but smile as she looked bashfully at Twilight.
“B-but... how did-” Twilight began before her friend interjected.
“How did I know? Well, about two months ago I was hanging with Dashie and we were going go pull some hilarious pranks. Anyway, we were on our way to Rarity's when we passed by the library. I noticed she slowed down to take an extra special long look at the library. At first I thought it was because a new Daring Do was coming out but the next one isn't even scheduled for release date yet so I was stumped. After she did this a couple more times I started to get an inkling of what was going on. So after Dash told me she was into mares I knew I was right and that she told me because you had been on her mind that whole time even if she didn't really know it.” Pinkie puffed out her chest, thrilled at her deductive skills.
“But how did you know Twilight would like me back?” Dash said in bewilderment that she could jump to such a dramatic conclusion from only a couple glances at a library and her coming out to her. Pinkie began pacing back and forth as she prepared to talk about her brilliant deduction.
“Well, at first I wasn't sure because I always thought Twi wasn't into anypony but I just couldn't stand seeing Dashie so obviously head-over-hooves-completely-distracted-flying-into-houses in love! So I just had to find out!” As she spoke loudly enough for every pony in Sugar Cube Corner to hear her, Dash sunk in her chair and lowed her head in embarrassment, completely avoiding eye contact with Twilight.
“So, I went to talk to Twilight and try to get to the bottom of this!” She continued, unfazed or unaware of Rainbow's discomfort. “I went to the library but you weren't home Twilight but Spike was! So I asked him if you were seeing anypony and he said no, so I asked him if you like mares. At first he got really quiet and shy so after a little coaxing he finally told me that you were! You told him almost the same time Dashie told me and Fluttershy! That could only mean one thing!” Pinkie took a pause, presumably to build dramatic tension. Both Twilight and Dash looked wearily at each other. “That you two were in love!”
“Pinkie, that's astonishingly little to go on. What if you were wrong?” Twilight's concern was met with a hoof patting her head as Pinkie Pie smiled.
“Well I bet we're all glad I was wasn't, that would have been awkward.” She said nonchalantly. “Ooh! You know what this calls for!?” She pulled her hoof away and smiled expectantly at them as they exchanged an apprehensive look.
“Pinkie, I don't think...” Twilight began, but it was too late as Pinkie quickly spun around.
“A party! We'll need balloons and streamers and music. Games and candy, punch and a giant cake shaped like a heart! I'll invite Gummy and all our friends! All of Ponyville will want to come! I bet I can get the Ponytones to sing for the party! Oh it'll be so much fun!” She spun back around to her friends' table. “Right Twi- Twilight? Dashie? Where'd you go?” She asked bemused as stared at the suddenly vacant table sitting near an open window. Several bits lay on the side Dash was sitting.
“What about the party?” Pinkie asked to nopony in particular. “Oh well! I bet those two want to spend bunches of time together, just the two of them.” She smile as she looked out the open window.
“Pinkie, we've got customers.” A voice called out with a hint of impatience. Pinkie turned towards the front counter and smiled sheepishly.
“Sorry Mr. Cake! I'm coming.”
**********************************************
Twilight felt her hooves touch the ground as Dash's forelegs withdrew from around her. Her mane, as she was convinced was impossible was now even more disheveled. Even so, as the comfortable warmth of her friend's stomach left her back, she felt like she missed it, despite the heat. My friend... Dash is my friend, but we're on a date. Soon, will she be more than a friend? My marefriend Rainbow Dash. This is Rainbow Dash, she's my marefriend. I would be her marefriend. A warm and delighted smile on her face grew with every utterance of the word in her mind. Marefriend. Marefriend. I never thought such a simple word would make me so happy. This date, it's been so much fun. I can't see why she and I couldn't do it, why we couldn't be more than friends. Maybe, I'll ask her to go out with me at the end of this. No, I don't think I could, I would be too nervous. What if it's too sudden, what if I'm being too pushy? But still, I want to be with her as more than just friends, but I can wait until the time is right, or until she asks me. We have plenty of time to get closer. Right now, I'm extraordinarily happy and that's enough for me.
“Twi, you okay?” Dash asked with a chuckle. “You're kind of spacing out and your smiling like Pinkie Pie.”
“Y-yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking that's all. Hey, do you think it was such a good idea to fly out on Pinkie like that? I feel kind of bad.” Twilight asked, looking down the street to Sugar Cube Corner.
“Don't worry Twi, she'll be fine. Beside, I saw that look, you didn't want to get dragged into one of her parties right now anyway right?”
“Yeah, you're right. But still...”
“Hey, they set us up so today is all about us. We should get to be a little selfish and enjoy each other right?” Rainbow said as she landed beside Twilight. Looking at the pegasus' smile, a smile just for her, a smile that told her that the only pony Dash wanted to be with right now was her, she knew, she felt exactly the same way. Returning the loving expression, she conceded.
“You're absolutely right.” She stepped closer to Dash until she could feel her powerful, muscular wing against hers. Twilight had never really made note of it before, but she was surprised at how soft her light blue down was. Dash's wings twitched at the sudden contact and her cheeks again began to heat up. Twilight gave a soft giggle. “So Dashie, where to next?”
“W-well... How about we just walk for a bit and, like, talk about whatever. It's pretty hot, how about we get some ice cream on the way?” Dash said tepidly. I didn't really plan this, I figured this would be a disaster so I didn't think about staying out any longer than I had to.
“That sounds great.” Twilight said jovially as she began walking before turning back to Rainbow who was still standing behind.
“You coming?” Twilight said still smiling. Her smile faded as no response came, Dash seemingly staring off into space.
“Rainbow? Are you okay?” She spoke, concern growing in her voice. Suddenly Rainbow Dash seemed to snap out of her daze, shaking her head to regain her focus.
“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's go.” Dash said, her voice regaining it's usual enthusiasm as she caught up with Twilight.
“Are you sure? You kind of spaced out back there? Is your headache getting worse?”
“Relax Twi, I'm fine. Come on, let's get going, I bet the ice cream stand will be packed today, we should get there soon.” Rainbow said, smiling to ease her dates worry.
“If you're sure...” She said sounding less than convinced. Dash took her place beside Twilight and the two began walking perfectly in step with her, side by side.
“Hey Twi, I was thinking...” Dash began, giving pause for Twilight to respond before she finished her thought.
“Thinking what?” Twilight prompted.
“Well, Rarity was bribing me with tickets to a real Wonderbolts practice and I was wondering, if you would want to come with? Like, on another date.” She asked, bashfully scraping at the ground with her hoof as she awaited a reply.
'She already wants to go on another date with me?! M-maybe it's not too soon to ask her to be my marefriend. Maybe when this date is over, when she walks me home I'll ask her. I- I wonder if a kiss goodbye would be out of the question? Okay Twilight, don't get ahead of yourself, She's just asking for another date. ' Twilight tried to calm herself, but a rush of excitement and happiness surged through her body. 'She asked me on another date! This is wonderful!
“Uh Twi, you're kind of spacing out and giggling, is something wrong?” Dash asked apprehensively, feeling equally confused and worried. Suddenly Twilight snapped back to attention as she realized she still had yet to respond.
“Oh I, um...” She stammered as she hurried to form the words she wanted in her mind. “S-sorry, I was just-”
“You don't want to go...” Dash resigned dejectedly as she slumped down, lowering her head. Yeah, I guess it was a stupid idea. Why would Twilight want to go see the Wonderbolts?
“No! That's not it! I would love to go! I was just, I was surprised that's all. That you would already be asking me on another date, I mean, It's not like either of us expected to be dating each other. I'm happy, really I am.” Twilight, not often one who struggled for words, now found it becoming a regular occurrence today making her unsure if her points or feelings were even coming through. Those fears were dispelled as Dash's head raised, her eyes meeting hers with a strange kind of happy sincerity Twilight couldn't recall ever seeing in her eyes.
“You really mean that? I mean, sure we didn't expect this, but I'm cool with how it turned out. No, that's not even good enough, I'm like, I don't know, really happy with this. Why wouldn't I want to keep seeing you like this?” There was a gravity in Dash's voice that Twilight wasn't expecting. She was serious about what she was saying. They came to a stop, never once breaking eye contact with each other.
'What do I say? She- she really likes me and she wants to keep seeing me. Maybe... now is the right time to ask. I mean, I know it's sudden, we haven't even finished our first date. But, we've been friends for so long, it wouldn't be weird, we are already so close and I guess the girls already saw something between us a while ago. It's not something new, it's just the next step. Dash and I have such a long and rich history together and we've been through so much. I think, it would be logical. Just ask her, she wont think less of you. Just say those words. “Will you be my marefriend.” It's simple, just say it Twilight. ' She let her fear and apprehension go and steeled herself for one of the toughest things she would have to ask.
“Rainbow Dash... Will you-”
“Hey Rainbow Dash, hey Twilight. What are you guys up to?” A young tomboyish voice said, cutting off Twilight, both to her relief and frustration. They both turned to see three familiar fillies looking up at them.
“H-hello Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom.”
“You okay Twilight? Ya seem kind of nervous and out of breath?” Apple Bloom observed astutely much to Twilight's embarrassment.
“Well girls... I um, I was-”
“She was just about to tell me how awesome a couple we would make and I couldn't agree more!” Before what Dash said could sink in or be processed in her brain, Twilight felt a firm but also soft and warm wing drape over her back and pull her into a hug, pressing her tight against Dash's side.
“Twilight, would you be my marefriend?” All jaws dropped. Twilight's body almost went limp in Dash's embrace, her mouth hung open as she stared stunned at Rainbow Dash who simply held her cocky grin. Scootaloo was almost equally flabbergasted, her eyes flitting back and forth between Dash and Twilight. Sweetie Belle wore a deep blush.
“Well, good luck with that you two... We have um, a thing... On the other side of town. Come on girls.” Apple Bloom nudged Sweetie with her shoulder.
“R-right...” She all but whispered after being nudged. “C-come on Scootaloo...” The two turned and began trotting away.
“Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom turned to find her friend in question was still staring up at the two mares, eagerly looking at both of them. Her stunned expression had evolved into a wide smile as she awaited on baited breath for the conclusion to this story.
“Sweetie Belle, give me a hoof.” With a nod the unicorn filly took position on the opposite side of their friend and began to pull her away, Scootaloo's eyes still glued on the couple. Rainbow watched as the fillies vanished behind a hill before turning back to her stupefied date.
“Well Twi? What do you say? Will you go out with me?” Her tone had changed from the cocksure voice she was accustomed to wearing to a more nervous and weary one. Her confidence shrinking every minute she desperately waited for a response.
Many things were running through Twilight's mind. She was used to having to multitask but her mind was overloaded with emotions, thoughts, fears and hopes. She gulped and tried her best to regain her ability to articulate, but all she could manage was a soft- “Me?”
“Yeah Twi, you. Would you go out with me? Or, is this too soon? I don't know why I thought I should bring this up so soon but, I guess I just felt like we really hit it off and it seemed right to me. I'll understand if you want to wait and I really hope you would still give me another chance. Just dates, no pressure.” Her voice was heavy with fear and anxiety. She could feel her heart racing in her chest and her head was pounding. Her heart sank and Twilight slowly shook her head. She could feel tears building in her eyes.
“No, It's not too soon. Rainbow, I would love to be your marefriend.” Twilight smiled. There's that word again, “Marefriend”. It makes me so happy. I'm somepony's marefriend! Her grin intensified as she repeated the word in her mind.
“Really!” Dash shouted, her countenance completely reversed in an instant as her smile could suddenly match even Pinkie Pie's happiest grin.
“Really.” Twilight responded simply with a light chuckle. Suddenly, Dash's wing wrapped around her pulled her in tighter, squeezing the air from her lungs. Dash pressed her cheek against Twilight's and entwined her tail around hers.
“Dash... Can't breath!” Twilight choked out as she was being suffocated by Dash's affections.
“Oops, sorry Twi,” Smiling apologetically she loosened her grip and folded her wing back to her side and unwrapped her tail from Twilight's, " He he, my bad."
“It's alright.” She cooed after regaining her breath. To Dash's elation, Twilight followed her side step and pressed up against her and, at Twilight's lead, the continued their walk.
“Twilight?” Dash asked nervously.
“Yes Rainbow?”
“Could we weave tails?” Her face reddened with blush as she asked. She knew being turned down was unlikely but she couldn't shake the feeling of fear of being rejected. She couldn't meet Twilight's eyes as she awaited a response, but Twilight didn't say a word. As Dash's worry was building to a boil, she felt a softness wrap around her tail and gave a gently squeeze. Almost unconsciously, Dash's tail did the same and the two mare's tails wrapped together, a sign of mutual affection and caring. So they walked, letting the whole world know, they were now more than friends.
*********************************************************
“Twi, you have to hear this joke Fluttershy told me! It's the worst joke ever!” Dash began, already chuckling from the mere thought of the joke. The couple had been walking aimlessly, too wrapped up in their company to keep track of time. Onlookers had done double takes when they saw two of the towns most recognizable mares walking tails weaved. Nopony was quite sure how to react: fond 'Awww's' were mixed with confusion and parent's shielding their foals eyes from the site of two mares sharing such affections. Neither Dash nor Twilight gave any care at all.
“Worst joke ever eh? Go ahead, You've got me curious.” Twilight said affably.
“Okay, here goes. Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn?”
“No Rainbow, I can't say I have.” She replied with a hint of sarcasm.
“It had a litter of mittens!” Dash burst out laughing at the “Worst joke ever” , stifling Twilight's soft but genuine giggle.
“That was funny and adorable. That's exactly the type of joke I would expect from Fluttershy.”
“You kidding? That was awful! I've told it to like, fifty ponies already!” She struggled to speak through her laughs.
“And you've laughed like this every time?” Twilight asked incredulously, giggling right along with her marefriend.
“Buck yeah! It gets worse every time!” Dash's laughing intensified as Twilight rolled her eyes. Suddenly, her fit of laughter came to an end as she was brought to an abrupt stop. She brought her hoof to her head and groaned.
“Dashie? Are you okay?” She asked softly.
“Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just a little dizzy. I think this heat is getting to me. Mind if we sit down somewhere?” Despite her efforts, Twilight's worry wasn't eased.
“Yeah, there's a tree over there, we can get out of the sun. Come on.” Twilight led Dash slowly to the oasis of shade in the nearly vacant park they found themselves in. Dash shakily sat herself on the parched grass.
“Are you going to be okay? Maybe we should cut today short, you probably need rest, maybe even a doctor.” The concern in her voice was palpable.
“I'll be fine Twi, I just haven't drank enough that's all. I just need to rest a minute.”
“Wait here, I'll get you something cold to drink.” Twilight began to turn away.
“You don't have to. I told you I'm fine.”
“I'll be right back. Promise me you'll wait here?” She implored. With a sigh, Dash gave in to her marefriend.
“Fine, I promise, but don't worry so much Twi, I can handle a little headache.” Without another word, Twilight vanished in a flash of violet magic, leaving Dash sitting alone under the tree. The cool shade and a light breeze refreshing her from the heat.
Having her as my marefriend is going to be something. She worries about me, even fussing over me. I'm strong, I can handle anything, but, it's nice to have somepony to care and worry about you. I'll have to try to keep her from worrying too much. Well, we'll get used to each other. Today has been one of the best days of my life.
Not even a minute had passed before another flash of light heralded Twilight's return, and with her were two sports bottles, dripping with condensation. Padding up to her marefriend Twilight uncapped the light blue bottle and hovered it over to her. Dash graciously accepted, grasping the bottle between her hooves and gulping down it's contents.
“If you drink that fast you'll-” Her blasé reminder was abruptly cut off as Dash broke into a coughing fit, banging on her chest with her hoof. “Tried to warn you.” She chuckled, as she began rubbing Dash's back.
“I was thirsty! It's not my fault.”
“It's not your fault you forgot to drink?” She raised her eyebrow.
“Exactly!” Dash said with mock finality. The couple shared a hearty laugh, as they lay side by side, Dash placing her hoof over Twilight's.
“Today really has been awesome Twi. Thank you, for giving me a chance.”
“I should be thanking you, I never imagined it would turn out like this, but I couldn't be happier. Thanks, for having the courage to ask me on a date. Rarity, Pinkie Pie or whom ever may have set things in motion, but none of it would have mattered if you hadn't asked me out.” Twilight's statement gave Rainbow pause for thought.
It is all because I saw Twilight was sad. I hated seeing her like that so much, I just, I had to do something. I don't know, maybe the girls were right, maybe without that, I never would have come to my senses about it. What matters now is what comes next right? I'm her marefriend now, that means we'll take on everything together. I won't be alone...
As Dash lost herself in her thoughts, Twilight enjoyed the park scenery. Despite the oppressive temperatures, It was beautiful out. The sky was clear and the scent of flowers and trees was carried along the gentle breeze. A middle aged mare with a pale coat and dull blonde mane trekked though the park, occasionally shooting a glance at the couple. They must have been pretty conspicuous to keep getting looked at, Twilight thought. That thought galvanized a deeper curiosity.
“Hey Dashie?” Twilight asked without looking at her, instead keeping her eyes half on the older mare and half on the past.
“What's up Twi?”
“How did you come out to your parents?”
“What brought that up?”
“We've been attracting strange looks and it made me remember when I came out to my mom and dad.” Twilight seemed to be receding into a bittersweet nostalgia.
“You told me you only ever told Spike and your family. How did they take it? If you don't mind talking about it.” Dash prompted supportively.
“It was a couple years before I came to Ponyville. I didn't give any thought to dating, let alone dating a mare. There was this student at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, she was outgoing and eager to learn and a very talented unicorn. I started having feelings for her. I never told her, I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her. I knew that I liked her though. I went to my mom and dad for advice. The were convinced I was a phase or that I was misunderstanding my feelings. She was two years ahead of me so when she graduated, I gave up on it. I never really felt anything like that for anypony else. Shining Armor was the only one who was really supportive and understanding.”
“I'm sorry to hear that Twi. I'm glad you had at least somepony who could understand.” She put her hoof on Twilight's shoulder sympathetically. Twilight shook her head.
“It's alright, It took me a long time to be sure about it anyway. I was fairly certain that I was getting set up with a stallion today. Part of me wanted to go just to know for sure if I really liked mares.” She spoke with a sense of resolution and closure, a satisfied and relieved smile illuminating her face. “What about you? Did you tell your parents?”
“Well, not really.” Dash rubbed the back of her head.
“Oh, Do you think they wouldn't understand?”
“Well, I haven't talked to my dad since my mom died, and that was when I was really little. So I doubt the most interesting thing we would talk about if we got together would be my sexuality.”
“Oh Rainbow, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I brought it up.” An overwhelming guilt overtook Twilight as she listened to the melancholic tone in Dash's voice.
“It's alright, like I said, it happened a long time ago. After she died my dad sent me to live with my Grandma. That's his mother, not my mom's. Anyway, she died a few years later and nopony else in my family would take me in. I was put in foster care until I was old enough to be on my own. It was rough, but it made me the pony I am today, and I think I'm okay with that.” She said solemnly as she looked up to the bright blue sky. Twilight stared at the pony she now called her marefriend, seeing her in an entirely different light.
To think that Rainbow Dash had gone through something like that, it's... unbelievable! How is she always so strong and confident? Do any of the other girls know? How does somepony become okay with something like that? She's strong in a way I never would have considered. What her childhood must have been like... Her train of thought came to a stop as Rainbow Dash slowly got to her hooves.
“Sorry Twi, do you think we could maybe take a rain check on the rest of our date? I'm feeling kind of crappy and I think I need to sleep it off.” She looked regretful and distraught at Twilight, hoping she would understand and not hold it against her.
“Is your headache getting worse? Are you still dizzy? Maybe we should-”
“Yeah, a little bit. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just need some rest that's all. I'm probably coming down with a cold or something. Wouldn't want you to catch it.”
“Rainbow, your symptoms sound more like a concussion than a cold, maybe you should go to the doctor's.” She said with an every growing expression of worry.
“Twi, I've had concussions before and it didn't feel anything like this. I promise I'm fine.”
“Are you sure? I wouldn't hurt to go and see a doctor.” Twilight pleaded. Hearing the unease in her voice, a pang of guilt forced Dash to defer to her concern.
“Okay Twi, you win. If It's not better by tomorrow I'll go to the doctor.” Dash finished with a reassuring smile.
“Thank you, I just want to be sure you're alright.” She said with relief before taking up her place by Dash's side.
“You don't have to worry so much about me Twilight.”
“That's what marefriends are for.” She countered, weaving her tail around Dash's. She doesn't have a mom and her dad doesn't want anything to do with her. With a life like that, she really turned out amazing. I kind of understand her a lot better now. I think I get why she's so confident and always wanting to be the best. But it's those same things that make her a loyal and amazing friend. The couple slowly made their way to Twilight's home with a new and deeper understanding of each other. Twilight couldn't help but feel that her new relationship with her marefriend would certainly last.
***********************************************
Twilight's heart raced in her chest as her lips met Rainbow Dash's, her hooves pressed against her chest. Her body was trembling with adrenaline. She pulled her head back, looking down at her marefriend, her eyes wide with terror.
“Rainbow! Rainbow Dash!” She screamed as she brought her weight down to bear on Dash's chest, her ribs compressing, releasing the life sustaining air she had breathed from her lungs to Rainbow's. Tears began flowing down her cheeks, dripping onto Dash's limp body.
“No... Please wake up! Breath Rainbow, you have to breath...” Her sore chest and forelegs were beginning to lose strength. She collapsed on top of her lifeless marefriend as the emergency services arrived and rushed towards the couple. Twilight buried her face into Dash chest, her tears soaking into her fur. Her body was still warm but she had no pulse. Rainbow Dash was dead.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash walked together, their strides matching perfectly. The heavy atmosphere of their earlier conversation had faded away, giving room for more laughter and bright smiles. Their soft fur brushed up against one another as they leisurely made their way to Golden Oaks Library. They walked intentionally slow, trying to savor their date as long as they could. Dash tried to push the throbbing pain in her head to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the warmth radiating Twilight's body and into hers. The sun hung low in the sky. Vibrant shades of pinks and blues painted the horizon and bathed the small town in a gentle orange glow.
“You know Twi, today's been amazing.” Rainbow beamed, her eyes glittering in the low, warm colored light. “Thanks for giving me a chance.”
“I wish I had seen what our friends saw between us a long time ago.” Twilight pressed herself against Rainbow Dash and wrapped their tails together. “Today was amazing. I loved every minute of it and I cherish every day we've been friends, but I wish I had given us a chance sooner. I loved it when we were friends but this... this is something really special and I regret not seeing it sooner. Rainbow, despite how oblivious I was, I’m thankful you gave me a chance.”
With a content sigh she closed her eyes, taking in Dash's scent, feeling the steady but rapid beat of her heart. A sudden convulsion in Dash's sides shook Twilight from her bliss. She looked up to Rainbow, who was struggling to breath through her fit of laughter.
“Twi, you're such a sap!” Dash continued chuckling, barely trying to suppress her giggles.
“Hey, I was serious!” With a glare of mock annoyance, Twilight slammed her side into her marefriend's.
Dash's wing wrapped over Twilight's back and pulled her as she stumbled from the impact, nearly pulling both of them to the ground. Shifting her weight back, Twilight pulled both of them out of the fall. Despite the near calamity of getting their coats any dirtier, Dash's laughing continued unabated. Her powerful wing pulled Twilight tight against her.
“You don't need to thank me for anything anyways; we're together now so let's make the most of it and stop worrying about the past. Today was awesome, tomorrow will be awesome and every day we'll spend together will be just as awesome, if not more!” Turning her head away, she ran her eyes over the town before her. Thoughts seemed to swirl in her mind as she worked up her nerve. With a deep breath she brought her gaze back to Twilight, her eyes now steeled with passionate fortitude. “You know, when I got up this morning, I was really annoyed and just didn't want to go. I thought of telling Rarity that it wasn't worth it. Now, though, I'm really glad I didn't.”
“Now who's being sappy?” Twilight teased with a lighthearted nudge against Dash's shoulder. The library peeked into sight as they rounded the corner. Twilight's heart sank as she realized their date was coming to an end. “But I'm really happy you came. We should probably thank the girls tomorrow. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have had this date, and we wouldn't be marefriends.”
With just a little effort from our friends, our lives have been changed. I have a marefriend. She's loyal, courageous, strong and beautiful. One different decision from anypony and that wouldn't be true and I would never have known what I was missing. There's a magic all its own in this, something unexplainable. A pleasant, warm sensation spread from her chest to her hoof tips as she thought of their date, and even further as she thought towards the future. The couple came to a stop in front of Golden Oaks Library. Dash's soft wing lifted from Twilight's back, allowing the cool dusk air to flow over her. Instantly, she missed her marefriend's warm touch.
“You're right. We'll thank them tomorrow when we're getting our Wonderbolts tickets! I can't wait to go with you! It's gonna be so awesome!”
“Yeah, I can't wait either...” Twilight trailed off as the two came to a stop in front of the library door.
“I guess this is it, huh? Our date's over.” Dash spoke the words at the forefront of Twilight's mind.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Twilight said as Dash looked off to the sleepy town while Twilight took a keen interest in the ground.
It's been an incredible day. I-I wonder if it's too soon for a kiss goodnight? It probably is. I shouldn't get ahead of myself, it's only our first date. I think I would be lying if I said I wouldn't like it, but I'm not going to ask for it. She doesn't need to think I'm desperate or something. Oh, she's looking away, am I boring her? I should say something!
“Um, tomorrow... I have all of Daring Do. I-if you want to, you could come over in the morning. I could make breakfast and we could read together. If you want.” Twilight couldn't help but get a sense of how Fluttershy must feel as she fumbled with her words.
“T-that sounds really good. I'll be there.” Dash's face was now sporting a light blush as she spoke. “I should probably let you go, it's getting late.”
“Oh, yeah, It is starting to get dark...” Twilight gently prodded the ground with her hoof. Do I just leave? It just doesn't feel right somehow. Is there something else I should say? I- Her thoughts were interrupted as Dash took a tentative step towards her. The once-light rosiness in her cheeks had turned to a furious blush as Rainbow looked at the ground from the corner of her eyes. Twilight's heart raced. Her body felt hot, completely negating the pleasantly cool breeze. With one more step Dash was close enough for Twilight to feel her warm breaths, their faces now only inches apart.
Is this really happening?! I- is this going to be my first kiss? With Rainbow Dash? I don't know what to do! I've never kissed anypony before! What if I mess up? No, calm down Twilight. Just relax and close your eyes.
Her eyes fluttered shut. She could feel Dash's moist breath against her lips.
Twilight. A familiar voice called from seemingly all around her.
“What was that? Rainbow, did you—” She opened her eyes to find that her marefriend had vanished.
Twilight. The voice called again. She could make out a distinct drawl in her voice.
“Applejack, is that you? Where are you?” Suddenly the town and sky faded to black. The air became cold and still.
Twilight!
**********************************************************
Twilight's eyes shot open. Instead of the familiar setting of her home or Ponyville, she found she was in a sparsely decorated room painted a light shade of green. She lay uncomfortably on two chairs placed with seats facing each other. Fluorescent lights bathed the room in an almost oppressive white glow. Her back was sore and her mind was hazy. Where...
“Rainbow Dash!” She bolted up to her hooves, now fully alert. Frantically scanning her environment she found Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie their dull and tired eyes looking down, the feeling of defeat hung heavy in their demeanor. Applejack took a slow step closer to Twilight.
“Sorry I had to wake you, sugar cube, but the doctor...”
In place of finishing her sentence the farmpony gestured with her head, directing the motion behind Twilight. Her heart was racing as she turned to see a middle-aged stallion with a dull brown mane, a solid grey coat and round glasses. His expression was hard to pin: a mix of disappointment and empathy that made Twilight's fears soar. All she could do was stare blankly at him as she struggled to reign in her swirling emotions, building like a massive storm.
The doctor patiently waited. He must have seen it before—the chaos in Twilight's eyes—because his look softened. Empathy and tenderness filled his expression.
“R-Rainbow Dash... We were on a date. We were happy and laughing. I… I—”
“There's nothing you could have done,” the doctor said softly.
“No! No, we were together! I told her we would be together tomorrow!” Her voice cracked as a painful lump constricted her breathing. Tears welled up in her eyes, the growing droplets quivering as she trembled.
“I'm sorry.”
“Don't apologize!” Twilight screamed as she lunged forward at the doctor, gripping at his collar with her magic and forcibly pulling him towards her until only inches separated them. She bared her teeth and blind rage burned in her eyes. “Bring her back!”
“Twilight, get a hold of yerself!” Applejack reprimanded as she stepped between Twilight and the unfortunate doctor. After the glow on Twilight's horn faded, releasing the doctor from its iron grip, Applejack put a hoof on her quivering shoulder.
“Listen to me!” Applejack firmed her grip on her friend's shoulder to quell she shaking. “That's not going to solve anything, ya know that. Ah know it's a lot to ask, but we need you right now, Twilight. None of us know what happened and we're all scared and devastated. Please, calm down.”
As Twilight returned to her senses, she stopped and stared at her friend. Applejack was shaking too. For the first time since they’d arrived at the hospital, she looked into her friend's eyes. They were bloodshot and puffy. Long dark trails ran down her cheeks to her muzzle.
Twilight's burning anger ebbed, leaving only an icy void of sadness. Never before had she wished as much as she did that moment to be angry again—it was so much easier. Her legs became weak; she felt as though she couldn't hold herself up anymore. Tears that had been pooling in her eyes flowed over as though bursting through a dam. The small drops stung her eyes as they dripped down.
“Applejack...” Feeling her strength quickly waning she dropped to the floor. She rested her head on her friend's chest as she sobbed into her coat, her teeth clenched as though in physical pain. “I don't want to lose her.”
“Ah know... Ah know.” Applejack delicately rubbed her distraught friend’s back. She could feel Twilight’s hot tears burning into her fur. Her own eyes were tired from crying. Yet despite her fatigue, tears once again streamed down her face and dripped into Twilight's mane.
Ah can't... Ah just can't stay strong, Rainbow. I wanted to, I really thought I could keep it together for their sake... Ah just can't. Forgive me, Rainbow. No sooner than that thought came to Applejack’s mind, did she too dropped to the floor. How am Ah supposed to hold everypony together when Ah can't even keep myself together?
Pinkie and Rarity padded to their friends' sides. No words would do any good, nothing could be said that could ease the pain they all shared. Deep down, they knew no gesture could help either. Yet something in their hearts compelled them to be at each others’ sides, an innate sense that none of them should suffer alone. All they could possibly do was stand and suffer together.
Pinkie placed her hoof on Twilight's shoulder. Her tears flowed silently down her blank face to her cheeks, pooling on the floor beneath her. Her sombre eyes lacked any of the vitality and spirit that was the core essence of herself, crushed beneath the cold grief. Still, Pinkie gently stroked Twilight, the desire to see her friends happy shining through the gloom surrounding them.
“It'll be alright, Twilight. It'll be okay...” Pinkie whispered, her voice choked from held-back sobs. Twilight didn’t look to her friend, she didn’t say a word. Still sobbing into her friend’s fur, Twilight reached her hoof up and took hold of Pinkie’s, holding it tight.
“I'm sorry, I know this is a painful time,” the doctor interjected in a cool and calm voice that, were it not for the empathy in his eyes, would have come off as uncaring. “but we need to notify next of kin before we go any further. Do any of you know how to get a hold of her nearest living relative?” Pinkie and Rarity looked to each other for an answer. Applejack too looked up, trying to remember an instance of Dash mentioning where her parents are.
“She doesn't have any. We're all she has.” Twilight said quietly, staring down at the floor. Memories of the days earlier conversation came to her mind and with it, the realization that indeed, they were all she had. An empty feeling permeated through her body. The sadness of the revelation was so gripping that it was beyond tears as her eyes all but dried up. She wished she could simply continue crying, but this pain would not be expressed. 'I wonder if her father would come, just for this. Surely he would, this daughter is... she's not well. Where would we even find him? Cloudsdale? She's alone right now, I should be by her side, I should be with her. Oh, what's happening to her? She was happy and full of life, how could she have just... Oh Rainbow, forgive me, I should have seen this coming. '
“I'm afraid, without an advanced medical directive or consent, I can't share the details with you for privacy-” before he could say another word, a door at the opposing end of the room swung open. There stood Fluttershy, her mane bedraggled and dark bags beneath her reddened eyes. A bag hung over her shoulder and rested on her side, within it was a manilla folder bulging with papers. Fluttershy was huffing hard from exertion and her body was shaking but her eyes, through the glistening of tears, were alive with strength and determination. All eyes rested on her, her friends were fixated by the conviction and strength that lay just behind the hazy clouds of pain and sorrow in her eyes, even in the wake of of this calamity. She cantered towards them, reaching into her bag with her mouth and pulling the folder out. The volume of the papers within it was so great that she could barely hold it in her mouth.
“What's this?” the doctor asked as his horn glowed with a light yellow magic, enveloping the envelope. The folder floated out from her grasp to him.
“It's Rainbow's advanced directive, she's named the five of us as her medical proxies. Her medical records and history are also in there.” Her voice became soft and pleading as tears welled up in her eyes. “This is everything about her, please, save her. Save our friend.” Opening the folder, the doctor pulled out the first pages that were stapled together at the top. It was a legal form naming her friends as her proxies, giving them full medical authority if she lacked the ability to do so herself. After he confirmed the legality of the papers, his professional demeanor began to drop. His breath shook as it left his mouth and his eyes became misty.
“You... you may all want to sit down for this.” The gravity in his tone made their hearts skip a collective beat, fear and anxiety nearly overwhelming them as they sat together in front of the doctor.
“I'm afraid Rainbow Dash had an aneurysm in her posterior inferior cerebellar artery. The aneurysm ruptured, likely due to a recent trauma to her head, leading to profuse bleeding in her brain. The pressure and lack of oxygen to her brain stopped her heart within seconds...” He stopped, the horrified faces of his patient's only family, the ones who's hooves she placed her life in, were now looking up to him, pleading with him, begging him to tell them she would be okay. This was the hardest part of his career, it was some of the hardest moments of his life. Those next words, he felt as though a little of his soul was torn away from him with each utterance. The least he could do, was look them in the eyes when he said it, so he did. He steeled himself and took a deep breath. “There's nothing more we can do. The bleed killed the part of her brain responsible for regulating her heart and breathing. She's on life support now, but I'm afraid, there's nothing left of her. She's gone. I'm sorry. You can all say your final goodbyes, then, as her doctor, I recommend... you take her off life support.”
Author's Note
This is not the last chapter, I know I said It would be, but it's not.
All was dark, the whirl of machines and the beeps of monitors slowly came into focus from the static that clouded her mind. A fuzzy and dull mumbling soon followed, at first, she couldn't tell what was being said, or by whom. Then, that to became more clear.
“Nurse Red Heart,” the voice said calmly. It was a stallion's voice, he sounded about middle aged.
Where am I?
“Yes doctor?” replied an almost chipper sounding mare.
What's happening? What's going on? She thought, her mind a cloudy hazy. Thoughts formed slowly and weakly. All her memories blurred as she attempted to recall them. It's so dark...
“She's going to be having visitors soon,” The apparent doctor said. His voice was tired and grave, an immense feeling of defeat hung on his every word. “Tell the nursing assistants to prepare her for her postmortem care and get the paperwork ready.”
Post what? What does that mean? She thought weakly, her mind seemingly gaining clarity and alertness. Hey, what's happening to me?
“They decided to take her off life support?” The sadness in the nurses voice almost eclipsed the doctor. It was a complex tone, a combination of depression and relief.
Listen to me! What's happening, what are you talking about?! Fear and frustration began to overwhelm her, burning away the fog that overcast her thoughts. Then panic flooded over that. I- I can't open my eyes! I can't move, I can't move! W-what's happening!? Desperately, she tried to breath, she burned with a base urge to breath. She felt certain that she would expire any moment from suffocation, but even the muscles that controlled her lungs didn't respond. Somepony help! I can't breath! Help me! I- I'm dying, I need help! Then, she noticed, despite her panic, her heart maintained a steady rhythm and she could feel a long tube bracing her mouth open and forcing it's way down her throat.
“There's nothing else they can do, there's nothing anypony can do for her. The last thing we can do is let her body rest peacefully and give those close to her some degree of closure. You go, get that paperwork, I'm going to calibrate the machines...”
Wait! No! I'm alive! I'm here! Please, you have to help me! I'm not dead, I can't be. I don't want to die, Doc, please save me!
“Yes, Doctor, I'll get them ready. Do you want to to tell her friends to come in now?”
My friends? No, please no, not like this. Don't let them see my like this. Twilight... especially not her, don't let her look at me, doesn't need to see this. You can let them in when you get me better.
“No, thank you, but I think I should be the one to tell them,” the doctor said forlornly. A moment later, the sound of retreating light hoof beats came, fading to lighter and lighter taps against the hard floor until they came to a stop, preceding a door creaking open.
“You did everything you could,” Nurse Red Heart said softly, her voice quivering from sympathy. Before the doctor could respond, the sound of hurried hooves sounded and the door quickly closed behind them.
“Everything means nothing if it can't save a life...” the doctor sighed, his desolate tone pouring gasoline on the already raging fire of her terror. She felt a hoof tenderly placed on her shoulder. “Rainbow Dash... I'm sorry I couldn't save you. There was nothing anypony could do. I'll go tell you friends... no, your family, that they can come say their goodbyes.”
No, don't say that. Don't tell them that. I'm still alive, please, you have to know I'm in here. Rainbow Dash thought in despair, her hope quickly waning. The hoof slid off her shoulder and the doctors hooves echoed further and further away. Don't go! Please come back! Don't leave me here alone, I don't want to be alone like this! S-stay here please! Please! Come back!
The door slowly opened and the hoof beats stopped as the doctor lingered at it's threshold. What's he doing? He just stopped? Does he know I'm in here? Struggling with all her might she tried to force her muscles to respond to her will, praying for her body to move. Her fear soared as the hooves padded away.
No! Don't go! I'm in here damn it! Come back! Come back! It was too late, the door softly shut behind the retreating sound of the doctors step, leaving her alone in the pitch black void. An ache burned in her heart, she wanted to cry, to scream, but her lungs would not fill and her tears would not flow. She wallowed in the pain, having no release or reprieve. She felt like she would drown in her sorrow, if only her lungs could breath. Come back... please. Don't leave me alone.
Everypony takes their senses for granted I guess. When I get out of this, I'll never do that again. I'll never forget how lucky I am to see, and feel the wind in my mane. Deep down, she could feel an emptiness in her words, their internal utterance making her feel sickened with herself, but she kept on thinking those thoughts she could only describe as shameful. I'll definitely do better with my life after this... I will. Things will be different.
A sudden new sound took her from her uncomfortable thoughts, which she silently thanked nopony in particular for. The sound of hoof beats had returned, a pair of them. Rainbow wondered and hoped it was the doctor and the nurse returning, but she knew, the doctor had gone to fetch her friends. If her heart could have been under her mind's control, it would have been racing with fear and anxiety as the hoof beats stopped at the other side of the door. Again, they lingered, pausing as if unsure. She wished they wouldn't come, despite the terror of being alone, the guilt and anguish of her friends being beside her, not knowing she was still alive, was magnitudes worse. Her fear only mounted as the door slowly opened.
“That ya Doctor, Ah- Ah'd like to be alone with her if that's okay.” A voice drawled.
Applejack...
“Of course, take as much time as you need,” the doctor encouraged.
“Ah won't be long.” Without another word, the lighter hoof steps of her friend came closer. Rainbow had never before realized how distinct the sound of a pony's hooves could be. She wished she could see, to have a greater connection to the word above her dull and echo like hearing. The door again closed leaving them, Dash presumed, alone. Without hesitance, Applejack trotted up to her bedside. Though her movement felt certain and determined, Applejack was silent as she stood beside Dash's apparently lifeless body. Then, Dash felt a light weight land gently on her abdomen.
“S-sorry partner, there's really nowhere else to put my hat and it just wouldn't be proper to talk to ya while wearing it.” She stammered. It almost sounded as though she spoke through a smile. Dash couldn't articulate why, but an image of her friend smiling, her eyes filled with tears as she tried to stay strong, that broke her heart.
I'm in here Applejack. Don't sound like that. I'm alright, I'm alive. Everything is going to be alright so please, don't have that tone in your voice. That's not you, you don't sound like that. Her limp, cold hoof was raised, cradled in her friend's. Dash felt infuriated as she realized she couldn't feel the warmth of Applejack's body, or the softness of her fur, just pressure. She begged for the sensation of cool and warm.
“Ya know, Ah- I've considered you like family Rainbow. Ever since ya first came to Ponyville. Ah remember it like it was yesterday, how Ah found ya napping in one of our trees. Turned out you arrived in town a day before yer home did. That's just like you, always on the move, always having to do something, to heck with wait'n.”
Applejack, why are you talking about this now? You don't need to think about what happened before, we still have a lot of fun times to make together. It's not over. I'm not dying... Please, stop talking like that. I don't want to hear you talking like this.
“In the end, ya ended up spending your first night in Ponyville, with me and mah family. Ya had yer first taste of our cider and you helped out with the chores. Ya couldn't go ten minutes without trying to make something into a competition. Boy howdy did ya push me to mah limits that day! Ah was sore all the next day. Ever since then you've been true to who ya are, a true and loyal friend, through think and thin. We've had our spats, but nothing our friendship couldn't overcome...” Her voice quivered, small beads lightly pounded against her hoof, it was dull and faint, but Dash had no doubt they were tears.
Don't... don't cry. Please, I- I don't want you to cry alone. I can't do anything! I can't tell you it's alright, I can't squeeze your hoof! I can't cry with you... This- this is... I can't listen to you cry and be helpless to do anything! Don't make me go through this, don't make me feel helpless. If I can't comfort my friend what kind of friend am I?! If I'm making you all suffer I- I... I don't want you all to hurt because of me.
“Th- the doctor, he said that ya probably couldn't hear me... No, Ah shouldn't lie to myself, he said there was nothing left of ya, nothing but these machines. Oh Rainbow, Ah can't stand seeing you like this!” Applejack cried out, her breaths were rapid and weak as she rested her head on Dash's foreleg. “Ah never told anypony this, Mah parents... they both had a terrible accident, ah wasn't around when it happened, but when Ah was pulled out of school, Ah saw the aftermath. They were all tied to machines and contraptions, just like you. I- if it were just me, if the girls didn't need to say their goodbyes, I would take ya off these things right now..”
No! No! Please, don't say that! You can't, I'm still in here!
“You were always free and did just what you wanted, just like how we first met. You're just so right, up in the sky, flying like nopony could match you. Ya never had to be as good and loyal a friend as ya are, anypony else like that wouldn't need friend to hold them back, but you, ye'r one of a kind Rainbow. You deserve to be free, not tied to these damn things! Not breathing through a tube and having a piece of metal keep your heart going! T-this ain't fair! It's not what you would want! Being tied to these things for the rest of yer life, that's not something ya deserve, not when ya can never fly again!”
I can never fly again? Her strength and fire drained from her body as she began to think of the implications of her position. What does it matter if I stay on the life support if I can never fly? If all that happens is my friends have a constant reminder of this whole thing? They- they'll always be sad, they'll never be able to move on.
“When the others have said their goodbyes, you can rest peacefully... and fly free.” With a pain filled, choked sob, she pulled back, releasing Dash's hoof.
Come back please! I don't want to be alone!
“Goodbye Rainbow... Ah wish- Ah wish this wasn't happening,” Applejack whispered. She turned away and walked walked slowly towards the door, her hooves dragging with every step as though she were about to collapse from exhaustion. It was strange, Dash was sure she could hear her teardrops splashing down on the hard floor.
Applejack come back! Don't leave me! Dash tried with all her might to simply raise her hoof, but she was completely disconnected from her body, as if it wasn't even there. All she was, everything that made her even think she was alive, was a broken sense of touch, and warped hearing. She desperately tried to reach out, to grab hold of her friend, even knowing she was too far even if she could move. Nothing seemed more frightening than being alone and nothing hurt more than hearing the devastation in her friend's voice and not being able to do a thing. Rage burned through her, even that though, felt different. Instead of a burning in her chest as she was used to, the heat of her anger seemed everywhere, and everything.
Move! Move! Come on Rainbow, just raise your hoof, show her you're still in here! Applejack's steps were where she imagined the door was, a moment later, the door swung open.
“Goodbye Rainbow Dash.” With her final farewell, she rushed out the door and slammed it behind her. Rainbow was alone again.
Come back... please. With no outlet, the sadness pooled within her, it would have been suffocating if she didn't constantly feel on the verge of asphyxiating. She was alone, a kind of alone she never even imagined, that she couldn't imagine. Not only alone in the sense she was familiar with, but a new type of loneliness. Alone, without a body, without her senses. She was cut off almost entirely from the world. T- the only way I'm not alone is when they're here. I might as well be dead when their gone. I want somepony, anypony. I just can't take this. I don't know where my legs or wings are, I can't smell or taste, everything I hear seems unreal. Is this how I'm going to have to live for the rest of my life? A rush of horror blanched out any other feeling or sensation, the fear even drowning out the rhythmic sounds of the machines her life was tied to. I can't- I can't stay like this. If they can't fix me... No! My friends will save me, I don't want to die! I don't want to die. I don't... What time is it? What day is it? Is it night or day? Where are my eyes? Would I even be able to see if they were opened for me? How would I tell them to open my eyes? What if they're already open? Rainbow agonized over her absent sense of time, she couldn't tell how long it had been since Applejack had said goodbye. Many fears plagued her thoughts; What if her friend's had already visited her and she forgot? What if she lost her hearing and the hum of machines was just her imagination? What if she was already dead? All the while, new and tortuous sensations began to take hold.
I'm thirsty... I need water. I need something to drink. Despite not being able to tell where her mouth was, nor feel anything from it, she could tell it and her throat were painfully dry. Suddenly, a new sound filled the room she was beginning to doubt existed anymore, the door had opened once again. It closed and light hooves approached, Dash recognized them, but couldn't place their owner.
Who is that? Doctor, Is that you? High pitched beeps sounded from the machines, she couldn't tell from where. On instinct she tried to open her eyes, only to be reminded of her condition. The impulse from her mind was lost, never reaching beyond a fleeting thought, dying before it could stimulate any muscle, just like all her attempts. Then, a soft scratching sound flooded her mind. It was familiar, and gave her a fond reminder of her new marefriend. It was the sound of a quill, scrolling across the surface of a paper with definite purpose and precision. Melancholic nostalgia took hold quickly as Twilight worked her way to Dash's forethought.
Twilight... she's going to see me like this. She's going to be sad, I won't... I won't be able to feel her, not really. I won't be able to squeeze her hoof. I won't see her and I can't tell her It'll be alright... I won't be able to do that for any of them. I couldn't- I couldn't help Applejack. She thinks I'm dead, they all think I'm dead! I'm not! I'm still alive!
Just as quickly as they came, the soft hooves retreated to the door. She found herself feeling thankful for the traffic from the door to her bedside. A mental map was beginning to form of the room she was in. It couldn't have been very big, based on the time it took for the sound of hooves to transverse it. Without a moment of delay, as soon as whomever reached the door, they opened it. She felt that the doctor would have said at least something. It must have been the nurse I guess. Damn I'm thirsty, I wish I could get some water. How would I drink? Could I swallow? I can't feel my throat. I'll just have to live with it... I guess that's the least of my problems.
The door closed behind the likely nurse, and the echo of their hooves faded to nothing. The white noise of her life support once again became her only attachment to her environment. At first comforting, the beeps and hums were now becoming unsettling. They rang on and on, wearing on her nerves, she wished for a new sound to break the encompassing noise she felt she was drowning in. If they can't fix me... is this how I will have to spend the rest of my life? Is this what living will mean for me? For how long? Will they really do it? They can't, their my friends, they couldn't just let me... they wouldn't. No, they'll get me out of this, they'll save me... but if they can't?
The sound of hoof beats returned, these were different than the last, it wasn't the nurse, but it also wasn't Applejack. These were soft, they dragged along the floor but they didn't have such a hard sound as the farmpony's. Though muffled behind a wall, she felt she knew the pony. As the door slowly creaked open, but only half way before a tense pause. Again, Rainbow wished for her eyes to open and her neck to move as curiosity and worry built up.
Who is it? I- Before she could complete her train of thought, the door opened fully, a stunned and horrified gasp quickly followed. From the tone of the gasp, Dash knew it was a mare, her breathing became shallow and for a moment, she seemed to step backwards, as though the very sight of Dash was too much to bear. A dull thump ended the gap of silence after her gasp.
What kind of pathetic state am I in for her to sound like that? What do I look like? Do I look peaceful, or do I look like I'm in pain? I hope it's pain, because that's how I feel. That would mean, maybe, they'll see that I'm in here, if I'm in pain.
“Oh Rainbow Dash...”
Rarity?
“Oh Celestia,” her voice trembled. She had only just lay eyes on Rainbow but she already sounded as though she were about to break into tears. “Rainbow Dash... I- I... Applejack was right.”
What was Applejack right about? What are you talking about? Don't sound like that, don't sound so scared! The feeling was contagious, Rarity's fear inspiring Dash's own. Rarity's hoof steps came closer and closer until her breathing was as loud as her life support. It was strange, her hear almost choosing where to place it's focus, and it was always distorted and slow, it was an agonizing way to hear. It made her feelings of isolation ever greater as even her moments of contact with the world were blurry and dull. Just as Applejack had however long ago, Rarity took Dash's hoof in hers, or at least she thought so. She felt something, something far away and very frail, but a connection all the same. Right or left? Which side of the bed was Rarity standing? What did she look like? Dash was terrified to find, she had a moment of trouble recalling her face.
What's happening to me!? What is this?! Oh Celestia I can't take this anymore! Come on eyes! Open!
“Oh Rainbow, your gorgeous mane...” she whispered with empathy and heartache. “I know It's not something you took particular pride in, but you were always beautiful, I hope know that. You were truly a beautiful mare, I- I wish we would have spent more time together, you and I. It would have been wonderful to take a spa day, just to two of us. Perhaps we could have had tea or simply have an outing together. There are so many things I regret...”
Rarity... Dash was awestruck. Her friend was clearly in so much pain for her sake. She could tell Rarity was holding back the raging storm of sadness and pain, just so she could keep her coherent thoughts flowing, for as long as she could.
“I remember the day you and I met. A rather serendipitous day. It was only shortly after you moved here to Ponyville. There I was, slaving over an order for an eccentric client from Manehattan that had to be done that weekend. At the time, it was one of the most important orders I had received and I just couldn't feel the inspiration, nothing I made was coming out right, I was nearing my wits end!”
Why are you all saying these things? Why are you telling me this? No... It can't be true. You aren't- you aren't really going to take me off life support are you? Why? Why would you all do that to me?
“Then, you showed up. I remember it so clearly. It was sunset on the night before my order was to be filled and I had worn through design after design. I could almost feel the clock ticking away. Suddenly, there was an immense clatter from kitchen. I was so startled, I thought somepony had broken in! With my tiny sewing scissors I crept into the room, expecting to find some nefarious masked criminal. My kitchen was in shambles. Broken dishes strewn the floor, my window was shattered and my kitchen table had been broken clean in half. In the middle of the room... was you.” She trailed off, a stifled whimper reached Dash, she could feel the weight of the sorrow within it. A freezing sensation flooded her consciousness, the cold feeling coming in uneven pulses. Each wave feeling like arctic water being plashed on her in large drops kept in time with Rarity's soft sobs.
I remember that day... I was practicing to show off to the Wonderbolts. They were doing a performance in town for the towns anniversary and the mayor somehow got them to perform. That was a long time ago, I'm surprised she remembers it so well. Rarity, she's really hurting. Don't, It's okay, I know you'll save me. Everything will be okay, so don't sound like that.
“I- I didn't know what to think.” Rarity's voice became cheerful as her sobs tapered off. It was a forced kind of happy, one that was imbued with her grief. “A pegasus mare with a brilliant rainbow mane and tail, just laying in a daze on my kitchen floor. I helped you to your hooves. I remember clearly, you were an absolute mess. Your mane was littered with broken wood and glass and appeared to have not been combed for days. After you dusted yourself off, you apologized and said you would pay me back before you vanished in a blur out my window, I must say I was dumbfounded. As I went about picking up your mess I found a tuft of your mane had caught it's self on the window frame. Suddenly, inspiration struck! It was grand, I designed a series of dresses inspired by our encounter. Wild! Fast! It was a fashion line that defined my feelings, my impression of you with a spectrum flare! It was easily the most bold design I had ever done! And you know... the client loved it. From then on, my designs were never timid or lackluster. They were bold, they were intense... just like our first meeting, just like you.”
I- I never knew. I inspired your work? I did that? I left in a hurry that day because I was embarrassed. I was afraid you would be mad at me. That was my first week in Ponyville and I didn't know anypony besides Fluttershy and Applejack. Aj and her family were so cool to me, I didn't want to make a bad impression on anypony in town. I felt like I really screwed up when I destroyed your kitchen, but... I helped you. I changed the way you made dresses? I didn't know I was even capable of something like that.
“The doctor... he told us there was nothing left of you. He said there was no way your heart would keep beating on it's own, and that you- your brain... Oh Rainbow! I had to see, I couldn't believe it was true!” Rarity cried. The floodgates opened, releasing the surge of anguish she had kept bottled up. The icy pounding came again to Rainbow as each tear slammed onto her. She could feel the emotional weight of each tiny drop, it felt like an iceberg collapsing on top of her with each tear. Rarity cried, and a stifling pressure rested on Rainbow, it hurt as the weight jerked and sobbed. She imagined Rarity's head resting on her, only inches from her hoof. Just inches from knowing, she was still alive.
“I just couldn't believe you could be taken from us so quickly, without any warning! Rainbow Dash, this is all my fault! Please, please forgive me! I didn't mean for any of this to happen! I just- I just wanted you to be happy. I- I thought I was doing a good thing I promise... I promise.”
Don't! Please don't feel guilty! Today... yesterday? The last day I was... alive, the last time I wasn't like this, it was one of the best days of my life. My time with Twilight, please don't regret doing that for me.
“Applejack told us... S-she said the doctor was right. She could tell when she saw you, there was nothing we could do. I refused to believe it, we couldn't just let you go! Not like this, there had to be something. Then, after what Applejack said about her parents, and what Fluttershy said... I needed to see you, I couldn't know if it was the right choice until I saw you... Now I know. I know you can't hear me, but... Please forgive me, forgive me for all of this!” The weight lifted to the sound of rapid hooves, galloping away from her. The cold, sad feeling fading more and more as she left, vanishing with Rarity as the door slammed behind her, leaving Rainbow alone with a terrifying realization. Terror replaced all other feelings, all but one. The one feeling that remained with her, was soon joined by guilt. She was angry, at her friends.
They really are... going to kill me.
The tortuous sensations piled on one another, pain, thirst, and now exhaustion. She wanted to sleep, she had never felt so tired before. The allure of peaceful sleep tugged at her fatigued mind, all the sadness and betrayal and anguish she felt pulling her down to some dark, endless place one strengthened her desire to sleep. If I slept, I would forget all of this. I wouldn't know my friends are going to kill me, I would be able to forget this feeling of constant suffocation... If only I could sleep.
She couldn't tell how long it had been since Rarity's visit, and the words that were spoken seemed distant and hazy, like remembering the words spoken in a dream, she felt far too tired for terror at her slipping memory, instead, the despair only grew where fear should have been. The only thing she felt fearful of now, was that she could only hear the high pitched beeps of the monitor. No longer could she distinguish the soft hums or buzzes of the other machinery, she could feel her last link to the world fading right before her, and she could only watch helplessly as her hour glass ran low. Despite the separation she felt from reality, she could feel only one thing strongly that was neither pain nor sorrow; The last goodbyes from her friends.
If I sleep... will I die? If I just, let go, will this all be over? Is it that simple, just, drifting off? Maybe I should try... She wished for the satisfying feeling of closing her eyes just before easing in to sleep's embrace, that final flutter of consciousness before the peaceful dark, even if she couldn't have that, maybe, if she just... gave up, it would all go away.
Her thoughts, which had ceaselessly tormented her and bombarded her with stimulation of fear and pain, emotion and memory, began to form an amorphous white noise, that became duller and duller. The beeps of her life support smoldered out, until they were nothing at all. Silence. She felt the first part of sleep's grasp, perfect silence. Rainbow could feel herself, sinking, being pulled down. Cold and darkness filled her, as though a freezing sea rushed into her body as she drowned, replacing her blood with icy water and filling her lungs. She didn't fight it, not a shiver or a gasp, just sinking, distancing herself from the pain and torment. She could feel it, she was so close and any moment now, she would slip away. Will it all be over?
Suddenly, the soft and gentle void she was dreaming into began to quake. Rainbow felt a pain grip her, not just a superficial pain, but a pain that permeated through her entire existence. No... just let me go, I don't want any of this... Weakly, she tried to keep fading, denying the new sensation as best she could, but soon, the pain was joined with something else, something she couldn't place. What is that? It seems so familiar but, I just can't... I can't remember.
Something stirred within her, dragging her up from the fringes of peace, ripping her back to the world she dreaded. One by one, pain, thirst, anger, betrayal and fear flooded back to her, the beeps of her life support came back into focus. No! No, no, no! I don't want... I don't want to go back! The beeps of her machines were soon stifled out for a new sound, it was hushed and fuzzy, but, it was louder than the rhythmic sounds of her hospital room. What is that? I can't tell, it's too blurry. Is this what brought me back here? Is this why I can't go to sleep? Why? Just let me rest... please, I'm so tired.
“I- I didn't-” The vague sound solidified into a coherent voice. It was quiet and distant, but Rainbow knew, it was from the world outside of herself. The voice was familiar, it was painfully close, right at the threshold of her thoughts. Rainbow agonized over it, the powerful familiarity, it pained her to not know. Who is that? Do I know them... Do I? Who could it be, what is their name? What do they want?
“P-please... don't blame Rarity. It's all-” The voice faded in and out of focus. She felt a crushing weight on top of her, exacerbating the feeling of suffocation. Even as the voice faded, she could tell it's owner was in a lot of pain and sadness. They were sobbing, they were crying. Crying... are they crying for me... Rarity? Who... Rarity! Terror ripped the last hope of peace she had from her as her memories began to reform. I'm forgetting my friends... I forgot them. I- I can barely remember what Rarity looks like. I'm losing them, my friends, the most important ponies in the world to me! What's happening to me? Why can't I remember clearly anymore?! No! No more, I can't stand this!
“I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I- I just wanted to see you smile... I'm sorry...” The voice from the outside was shaking, trembling with grief. Rainbow's heart ached as the voice became clear. She knew who it was, but her voice had an aspect Dash had never heard from her. The storm in Dash's mind vanished, leaving her in a vacuum of thought, stunned numb by the pain she could feel from her friend. In the deathly quiet of her mind, one name was whispered carrying a heart breaking realization; Pinkie Pie...
“I don't want to let you go! Y-you can't die like this... It's all my fault!” She was screaming, the power behind it almost made her voice feel close, it was painfully clear. I didn't even hear her come in... what did she say? How long has she been here? I- I missed something she said... she's going to leave without me ever knowing what she said. “I don't want you to go... please, just- just give me one more smile... let me see you happy one more time. Please... you can't die looking like this. You-you look so sad!”
Don't... don't cry. Please... don't cry. Why do I look sad? I can't move, my memory is slipping... It's not fair. I- I don't want her to cry. Fury surged through her. She wanted to lash out, to shout, to kick and scream, but trapped in this pitch black hell, she could only wallow in her rage and frustration, unable to release anything, not a tear or shout. I can't feel or move or talk, but I still look sad?! What is this?! What did I do to deserve this?! Why do my friend's... the last thing they'll see, is me looking like I'm sad? What the hell is that!? It's not fair!
“T-they said... you aren't with us anymore. You'll never laugh, or smile or fly again... what have I done!? I- I swear, I didn't want this for you Dashie, I didn't! I wanted you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted... was for you to be happy. I- It's selfish but... I wish you could hear me... I wish you knew how much we all love you, how much I love you. I- I know it's the right thing to do, to let you go... but, for me, I don't want to lose you!”
Pinkie... I'm already gone. There's nothing left of me except this. I don't want any of this. I can't stand anymore of this. I can barely remember what you look like, I can't remember what Rarity said to me...
“I want what's best for you... I know it won't mean you'll be happy but, if you are in there, if you can hear me... we need to let you go... You'll... you'll never feel anything again... you'll be gone. It- it's what best for you right? It's the right thing to do... right?” Rainbow could hear Pinkie Pie begin to fall apart as she cried, her heart was broken with doubt. “How much pain are you in to make it the right thing? Oh Dashie, I- I wouldn't want that for you, I promise, I don't want you to be in pain, I would be anything to make you feel better but... is it really better?”
Nothingness... forever.
“It was the hardest thing we've ever had to do... I- I don't think I'll ever forgive myself but, we had to do something. Oh Rainbow, we couldn't let you live like this!"
Is that where I almost went? Is that what it would have been like for me if I slept... forever? Just... nothing?
"I- I'm sorry... I just can't see you like this anymore. G-goodbye... goodbye... I- I... I'll... I'll never forget you, you'll always be in my heart... Pinkie promise.” The pressure lifted from her and Pinkie's hoof beats receded away slowly. Rainbow could hear each of her friend's tear drops slamming into the ground like deafening thunder. The sound of her hooves faded to nothing as Dash's hearing ebbed away, leaving her with no sound save for a painful ringing in her ears. She felt alone, and the pain intensified, her every moment was torture and as the ringing subsided and she could once again only hear the sound of her life support she wished for only one thing; I wish those machines would shut up...
