Rainbow Dash Attack

by Dark Java

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2949

The most colorful mare in equestria comes up with the most obnoxious way to stave off boredom on the most pleasant day of the year..

Rainbow Dash gets bored on a very pleasant afternoon and embarks on Operation Liquid Rain, an ambitious if terribly named plot to prank each one of her friends. Can anybody stop her reign of terror?

Published 2014-05-10 19:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-10 19:10:03 UTC

Death from above

Author's Note

Disclaimer: All characters portrayed do not belong to me. Cover art by Dashiepie

Death from above

The sun was high over Ponyville as another routine Saturday morning ran it's course. Rainbow Dash lounged on a fluffy cumulus she had arranged for herself- the only cloud in the sky at the moment. Fair weather was often scheduled for the weekends but today it was exceptional.

It was warm and bright everywhere, the scenery beginning to come alive with the onset of spring and encouraged by the light rain showers that the Pegasi, Dash included, had worked hard to haul in. She of all Ponies should have been out taking advantage of the day. She sighed and turned over, resting on her stomach, head propped on her forelegs as she watched the town scroll by
below. Ponyville spread out in even rows of timberframe houses, the small shapes of citizens moving along the cobblestone streets. A few other Pegasi passed her field of view at lower elevations, zipping comfortably above the houses. Dash easily picked out the Carosuel Boutique as well as the library and then spotted Sugarcube Corner. None of her friends were visible.

Bright flowers were beginning to bloom in the grassy fields along the outskirts of Ponyville and large butterflies flitted about, their white wings reflecting the sunlight well and causing them to appear as tiny glimmering pinpoints of fire. Even at Dash's current elevation she could smell freshly cut grass and once in a while picked up the sound of laughter from Ponies in the park.

With another frustrated growl, Dash buried her face in the cool cloud. "Soooo bored!" She moaned into it. A wisp of the cloud broke off and drifted above her head, congealing into a small softball-sized thunderstorm that sprinkled her head. She swiped at it with a hoof and disgruntled sigh, dissipating the tiny dark cloud. She sat up and moved a lock of dampened rainbow hair out of her face and that was when the gears began to turn within the Pegasus' head. A smile formed and she kicked off of the cloud, zooming down toward the town.

Operation: Liquid Rain was a go. She decided she could work on the name later.

~~PHASE ONE: APPLEJACK~~

Applejack moved about in the shade beneath her farm's apple orchard, hauling the creaky old wooden cart into position, eyes on the clusters of fruit above her. Around the farm, work was never dependent on the day. A harvest had to be brought in rain or shine, weekend or holiday, hell or high water. She had decided to take Winona along to keep her company as her brother was
busy rearranging the compost heap on the other side of the farm. The small canine was enjoying the day as well. She barked and darted between two trees as she chased something. She heard the dog plunge through some bushes and continue to yap at whatever prey she had sighted .

Applejack's sizable posterior rose into the air and she tilted forward on her forehooves preparing to strike. With a loud WHACK her hooves slammed into the tree's trunk and brought brought down an avalanche of apples. Several of the 'apples' plopped down on top of her, bursting and soaking her with water. "What in tarnation!?!" She shrieked as the cold liquid splashed over her rear end. She
jumped forward, spinning in circles and bucking at an unseen attacker. Something dropped on her head and she bobbed with the sudden added weight, her drenched hat drooping as it dripped water onto her face. She whipped it off and aimed a death glare up the tree where Rainbow Dash was rolling in the air, hooves clamped at her sides as she laughed.

Winona burst forth from the underbrush, eyes on the Pegasus above as she barked and wagged her tail furiously. Rainbow Dash
sped away from the apple orchard chased by Applejack's threats to get her lasso and string her friend up by the tail. She found her cloud, which was piled high with ammunition and hauled it off in search of her next victim.

~~PHASE TWO: TWILIGHT~~

Twilight sat contentedly on one of the library's balconies, the warm breeze washing over her as she browsed the book laid out on the table in front of her. An empty plate and glass also occupied the table, the remnants of a late lunch Spike had to force her to eat since she was so engrossed in her book.

Her draconic assistant was with her stretched out on a lounge chair nearby. He yawned and blinked his eyes open, having fallen victim to the pleasantly warm sunlight and had been napping up until now. Twilight glanced over to him but her eyes quickly darted back to the book. "Oh. Hey Spike. Have a nice nap?"

"Mmm-hmm" He replied with a smile but then scowled finding her in the same pose she had been in all day. "Geez, Twi. Still reading that thing? What is that book about anyway? You haven't taken your eyes off it all weekend!"

"Water magic" She answered, "I really need to brush up on my elemental skills. These types of spells are really hard to find nowadays". She closed the book, "But the good news is I think I'm ready to try some things. Want to come help me test some spells out?"

She had not even finished the sentence when something exploded on the table in front of her. Twilight stumbled backwards as water splashed her from several more bursts, bombarding Spike and herself. They yelped and embraced each other under the assault. Twilight's fur became several shades darker as she was thoroughly soaked, the terrified Spike's face buried in her chest.
After it was over Twilight spat out some water that had found itself into her mouth and slowly separated from Spike.

They glanced at each other with expressions of bewilderment. Both pairs of eyes looked in unison toward the tome sitting on the table. There was a tear-shaped blue gem embedded in the book's cover but it appeared otherwise unremarkable and inert, miraculously the only dry thing left on the balcony. "Spike, I....I think I will take a break after all. Let's go grab a soda". The dragon nodded his agreement eagerly.

~~PHASE THREE: RARITY~~

Inside a particular boutique, Rarity brooded over her latest work. The dress was long pink and lacey. The sleeves were ringed with bright pink oval-cut stones. She had to admit that even by her standards it was the girliest frilliest thing she had brought into existence in a long while. It was obnoxiously girly. It was like an exaggerated parody that tried way too hard to mock all things feminine. It made a great argument for giving fashion police the legal authority to arrest offenders. She wanted to burn the thing, but that would mean she would have to remake it.

The customer it belonged to was difficult, having come to inspect it four times already and each time finding some tiny imperfection in the garment that honestly was not there. Rarity had even obtained a second opinion from Fluttershy. The dress was perfectly constructed by all accounts except the customer's. She had agreed to stand by and open up for the weekend so that her client
could come pick it up, more for the sake of getting the eyesore out of her hair at last than any need for money.

She picked at the dress, straightening out a wrinkle here adding another stitch there in an attempt to fix any invisible flaw that may be present. For the most part she was blindly guessing at what could possibly be criticized. Adding to the stress was the CMC meeting Sweetie was currently holding up in her room.

The three fillies were loudly exploring their talent for yodeling at the moment. A clock chimed and Rarity sat her needles down then bolted across the room and up the stairs, bursting into Sweetie's room with a frazzled lock of hair falling over her eyes. The three ceased their yodeling and greeted her enthusiastically. "Hey Rarity! We're practicing our-" Sweetie was cut off as her older sister interrupted, "Sweetie, I beleive the ponies in Canterlot know what you're practicing"

She cleared her throat, regretting the somewhat harsh tone. She walked over to her sister and patted the young Unicorn's head, "Would you be a gem and go fetch me some lunch? You girls can eat out today wherever you want, my treat. I have a very fussy customer who's going to be here any moment so I can't come with". The three of them beamed at Rarity. She sent the girls off with a bag of bits and the shop once again knew sweet silence after they bounded down the stairs and out the door.

Rarity had made it as far as bottom of the stairs when the bells suspended above the entrance rang. Standing there was her customer- a light brown coated stallion, a smile on his face and his black hair slicked back, molded into place with copious amounts of hair gel. "Good day, Mr. Rich!" Rarity greeted as she strolled across the floor,

"I trust your trip was pleasant?". He nodded, "Oh, simply divine milady! And how are you?" Rarity became aware of the disheveled mane that was starting to obstruct her face and quickly wiped her purple locks back in place, "Good, good. I've finished your wife's outfit as you can see over here" She led him to the dress and he looked it over, satisfied if his expression were to be beleived.

"So...Does your wife plan on coming to see it? I should imagine she would want to try it on first?". Filthy Rich frowned, "Oh no, that won't be necessary. She's still a tad under the weather the poor thing".

"I don't believe I've ever met her acquaintance" Rarity said, "What was her name again?" Filthy Rich stared at her for a few seconds, "Oh, it's..uh, Si-Silver Gold. She isn't from around here, I doubt anypony would know her. Shy little thing". He stared at the floor for a second then cleared his throat, "As it happens though, my wife and I wear the exact same size. I shall try the dress on for her" He chuckled and rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner, "The things I do for that mare!"

Rarity blinked. "Ah, what are the odds. Well, right this way then. I'll show you to the dressing room".

This time had turned out to be the charm. Filthy Rich had finally been satisfied and the pink menace had left the store. Rarity sighed in releif as she deposited the bits into her cash register one by one, counting them. clink, clink, clink, PLOP. That last sound had come from outside and following was a loud shout. "What in Equestria was that?"

Rarity huffed as she walked over and flung the door open. Filthy Rich sat on the curb outside her store, the pink menace laying on the ground busily absorbing the grime and mud. Her stomach dropped as she processed the sight. Filthy Rich, along with the troublesome garment appeared to have been splashed by something. She put a hoof to her mouth. "What happened? Are you alright?" He sputtered and pointed up above her. She saw the flurry of water balloons as they were inches from her face.

Behind the topmost pillar of the Carousel Boutique, Rainbow Dash convulsed with laughter. From the street below came the sound of Rarity's rampage along with every curse word Dash knew of along with some she didn't. She had not meant to strike the stallion that had emerged from the store but thankfully he had drawn Rarity out to receive the main barrage.

A door slammed from below and Dash silenced herself though she still trembled with pangs of mirth. Rarity was slamming things around inside in full hissy fit mode by now. A back door flung open and the white Unicorn emerged, toting a soggy pink lump of fabric. She willed the thing into a trash can and slammed the lid over it. A pony that had been passing by on the street came walking up to her and seemed to say something.

"NO I AM NOT ALRIGHT!" She answered him via scream. Rainbow Dash decided it was time to slip away, rolling her eyes at her friend's dramatic display. Three down, two to go. Remaining dry was no longer an option for her friends. This was now a personal challenge Dash had issued.

~~PHASE FOUR: PINKIE PIE~~

Pinkie was the least difficult to track down as luck would have it. She must have been between parties while browsing the marketplace bouncing between the stalls and stopping to chat here and there. Rainbow Dash came in low and stuck to the rooftops, only using her wings to hop over an alleyway when necessary.

She perched herself on one of the buildings directly over the market and pressed low to the bright shingles, fairly well hidden in the wash of colors that made up the Ponyville's downtown district. Praise the architects. Pinkie was haggling with one of the merchants, a scrawny chestnut-colored Earth Pony, over a basket of produce.

She seemed to have a very grave expression as she nodded and nudged a couple more bits forward. The merchant and Pinkie stared each other down for a few seconds then he accepted the offer. Pinkie beamed a smile at him and took the basket in her mouth, cheerfully trotting off. After she departed the merchant glanced around as if checking to be sure no one in the vicinity was watching. He leaned down, quickly running his tongue over the pile of coins Pinkie had left for the goods.

What the-? Rainbow Dash blinked, tilting her head at the sight. She shrugged it off. Some Ponies were just weird. Like Pinkie....Dash had lost sight of her and cursed at herself for getting distracted. She quickly snapped her head around, checking her immediate area in anticipation of Pinkie Pie suddenly appearing right next to her and asking what it was they were looking for.

Luck was on Dash's side however. Whatever nebulous magic the Earth Pony possessed decided not to act in this situation. Dash's eyes soon locked on Pinkie again, turning down a road leading away from the market where the traffic was light. It was time to make her move.

Pinkie trotted along happily on the sidewalk, basket swaying as she went. She casually came to a halt and sidestepped as directed by the tail twitch. PLOP. She backed up, head still oriented forward to inspect whatever it was she had just avoided. It sat on the curb, a bright green rubber blob sloshing back and forth. The balloon she recognized easily enough, but it was filled with water as opposed to air. Being far more moist than air, water was unable to float effectively and this rendered the balloon useless for party purposes. Or was it Party Porpoises?

Since it was filled with water, it stood to reason that an aquatic creature had inflated the balloon. But the question remained as to how it had arrived here on dry land. Pinkie giggled to herself, "I wish I could throw an underwater party! I bet it would be so much fun!" She picked the balloon up and whispered to it, "Tell me your secrets" then nudged it with her other hoof. It popped, drenching her face.

~~FINAL PHASE: FLUTTERSHY~~

The sun was low in the sky, casting deep orange light across the forest. A grassy hill sat beneath the tall trees and past it, the roof of Fluttershy's cottage was visible. A single thick tree branch reached well out over the hill and bowed as Rainbow Dash landed on it without a sound. Her final water balloon was tucked into her elbow carefully. Fluttershy would not receive the worst barrage by any means but with only one chance, Dash had to make the shot count.

The scene ahead of her was serene but there was no sign of Dash's fellow Pegasus. Odd, as she was usually outside doing something or other nearly every time Dash came to visit. She frowned, feeling a tinge of genuine concern for the shy Pony. She decided to go knock on the door and see what the deal was, though it would be a somewhat anticlimactic end. Oh well.

Suddenly there was a rustling of leaves behind and above her. She turned in time to see Fluttershy whip her head forward and unleash the object she had been holding in her mouth. Dash's jaw dropped. The water balloon spun in the air, morphing into an oblong projectile. Dash dropped her last balloon and stretched her wings to take to the air but felt like she was moving in slow motion.

The projectile hit Rainbow Dash directly in the face, the rubber molding itself against her skin before popping. A torrent of water soaked her face and she fell backwards, wings softening the descent. She tumbled to the grassy ground and stared skyward, mind shocked at her sudden and brutal defeat. She stared unblinking at a couple leaves that wafted down in her wake, dancing along on the breeze. The scene was stunningly beautiful.

Fluttershy landed beside Dash with a triumphant "Yay".

"Applejack told us you were tossing water balloons at Ponies" She explained in her soft voice, "I thought it sounded fun". Dash sat up, her wet hair plastered to her head, and slowly smiled at the other mare. "Flutters...I'm proud of you".