Under The Radarby Awesomoman64ChaptersChapter 1: New AssignmentChapter 2: WelcomeChapter 3: ShoppingChapter 1: New AssignmentChapter 1 New Assignment “Hey Jim, wake up.” I almost leaped out of my seat when I heard the chief call me. I must have fallen asleep at my desk. “Yes chief?” I asked nonchalantly. “I need to see you in my office. Come on.” He turned and walked off towards his office. I really hoped he wasn’t grilling me for sleeping on the job. True, it was midday and everypony else was alert and wake, but I had stayed up all night to finally close the Ericson case which had taken me over a month or so to crack. See this pony had broken into the castle and tried to steal some top secret work that this stallion named Joe Ericson was- “JIM!” The chief called, a little irritated that I had just sat at my desk when he had given me a direct order. I quickly jumped up, ran into the office, and sat down on the chair on the other side of the chief’s desk (a very nice mahogany piece). The chief closed the door and walked over to his seat. “There’s not much time so I’ll get straight to the point. Jim, you’re about to go undercover in the most important mission of your life.” “Sir?” I asked with complete confusion. “I’m sure you know who the Elements of Harmony are.” He pulled out a folder and opened it on his desk revealing its contents: Pictures of by now all too familiar girls, either alone, or together. “Well yeah, everypony’s heard of them. Saved all of Equestria more than once I believe. Are they suspects in something?” I asked. It didn’t seem right. These girls had done so much good, yet I was supposed to go undercover to watch them? “No, in fact, it’s the complete opposite. We discovered a syringe in the Princess’ chambers after the Gala, it was filled with a poison that would kill her almost instantly. It was a special brand to, I think you know who I’m talking about.” The Chief explained, giving me his trademark, ‘No Bullcrap’ look. “Silent Hoof,” I growled recognizing the mark of the most infamous assassin in history. “But what stopped him?” “We believe the chaos that the Ponyville gang caused during last night’s Gala might have thrown him off, and since the princess stayed out with them while the guards cleaned up, the assassin had to leave before he could do his job.” “So, what’s our plan then?” I asked not sure where this was headed. “This was discovered in the room he had been staying in. Like usual he had cleaned it better than the normal services, but he left something.” The chief pulled out a picture; it was a picture of the girls, each one of them with a red circle around their head. “Why would he have this? Is he going after them?” I was baffled by this. Sure, they had caused Silent Hoof to fail his latest mission, but he was never one for revenge. It just didn’t fit his MO (Mode of Operations for those of you who aren’t in the know). “Come on Jim, you’re the best detective here, you figure it out.” The chief said impatiently. Suddenly, I felt like I could go for another nap. Sleep deprivation was my one weakness. No sleep means my thoughts weren’t clear, and as a detective that was something you couldn’t afford to lose. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Pretty soon the answers came to me. “So far, every plan to take out the princess or the kingdom entirely has been foiled by them. If somepony were to get to her, they would need to dispose of the Elements first,” I deduced, going off of the evidence at hoof. This wasn’t an act of revenge at all. Silent Hoof never failed a job we know of, and he wasn’t going to on this one. He was planning to make another attempt on the princess, but in order for that to happen he would need to eliminate the Elements of Harmony. “Good. Now here,” He closed up the file and handed it to me. “This contains all the girls’ info and the location of your new home. Your mission is to go undercover into Ponyville. While there, you will watch them, make sure nothing happens to them, and figure out everything you need to in order to uncover and stop this guy. Now I want you to report to the lab where they’ll gear you up.” He said, his tone clearly stating that there weren’t going to be any arguments. “Why me, Chief?” I argued anyways. I didn’t want to go undercover, and I especially didn’t want to go up against SH, the greatest criminal we ever faced. Granted, I didn’t have very many friends and I wasn’t close to my family, but all my stuff was here! Canterlot was a great home and I had no intention of living in a small country town like Ponyville. “I told you: you’re the best,” The Chief said tiredly. “Right now, we have no idea how long Silent Hoof has been living there, and those Girls’ lives are in danger as we speak. This guy is the best assassin we’ve ever faced, but no matter how good they make mistakes, if anyone’s gonna notice them it’s going to be you. Be careful though: if he finds out we’re onto him, he may jump town, or worst.” I couldn’t argue with The Chief, the whole plan made sense. Get into Ponyville, watch the locals, uncover SH, and bring him in. “So what’s my alias?” I asked, silently accepting the mission. “Since no one there knows anything about you, you can keep your name and save yourself the trouble of learning a new one. Your story will be simple: you recently moved in from Manehattan looking to get away from the city life,” The chief explained. “Well that’s extremely average. And how do we explain my cutie mark of a badge?” I asked sensing that a major problem would come from this. “Say it’s a star, I mean it looks more like that than a badge really,” He suggested, giving me the, “It’s your problem, not mine” shrug. “And what will it stand for?” “I don’t’ know, an actor, a singer, I mean, a star can mean many things. You’re clever, I’m sure you can think of something. Plus you could really pass off as anything; I mean a teacher there has flowers for her cutie mark, what does flowers have to do with teaching? ” He joked, trying to lighten the mood it seemed. “Well then, I guess we better stop wasting time.” I stood up and headed for the door. Well I’ve left you all in the dark long enough, I’ll explain as much as I can to you. My name is Jim Green, and as you can guess I work for the EBI, Equestrian Bureau of Investigation. Yes, I know I sound a lot like Mr. Green from that freakin’ board game but I swear if one more pony calls me that…Sorry off topic. I’m a green Earth pony (as if the name didn’t give that away) with a white-yellow mane that usually covers my right eye. I’m not sure why, and frankly I don’t care, hair is not my top priority. My cutie mark, as explained earlier, is a badge. Well not really, it’s a dark gold star. But I like to think it’s a badge. As for the chief, he’s pretty generic. Light brown with a dark brown mane that’s shaved to almost non-existence, and he constantly has a cigar in his mouth. No, really, I mean I’m surprised that Pony doesn’t have a cigar for a cutie mark, he smokes so much. And then there’s Silent Hoof. He/She is the number one on our most wanted list, yet we’ve never seen them before. We’ve figured out how he/she works however: They kill two targets. The one he’s hired for, and another that he/she then disguises as and becomes for the next year or month until his work is off the paper. Now you may be wondering why I’m telling you all this, but that’s not important. And come on, you’re about to see a story of an undercover agent fighting against an assassin master mind with both his hooves and his wits. Well what’s left of them, but we’ll get into that when we get there. Now I left off at the lab… The technicians fitted me with probably the most advanced gear to date. Since I could only have something that didn’t scream “Agent,” they gave me a super high tech watch. It could not only tell time, but it was also a communicator to keep in touch with command, an analyzer to make sure I wasn’t going to be poisoned, and of course the standard laser. They also gave me a laptop, (I’m sure you all know what laptops do and why I would need one so I don’t have to say much). After they gave me a saddle bag with a camera built into it, I headed for home. My house, or apartment, wasn’t really that big a deal. It had one bedroom, one bathroom, a kitchen and a living room that was basically combined, and a small balcony. It was strange really, I never had anyone over and nothing amazing had every happened in this dump, but it was still my home. I had no idea how long I would go without and it made me feel just sick. I packed only the most important things to me. My trusty revolver (Yes, it’s a COLT, you can all stop laughing now), a picture of my parents before they passed on, and my toaster (That toaster and I have been together for a long time okay). Once I was loaded up I headed towards the train station, and from there it would be a quick trip to Ponyville. Not quick enough though, it felt like it took forever and I wished I had brought a pillow. Sleep could wait again though; I needed to know all I could about the pony gang. I opened their files on my laptop, and read them over and over. When the train finally did stop I got up and rushed for the door. I don’t remember how I got there, but I found myself at my new house. I must have been too focused on the fact that I had no clue about anything in this town, yet I was supposed to look for any hints that would lead me to SH. With a deep sigh, I opened up the door. It was a lot like my old place, one bedroom equipped with a bed and a desk for me to work on, a living room and kitchen combined into almost the same room with a couch right on the border, two bath-TWO BATHROOMS!? What was I supposed to do with two of those? I mean two bedrooms I could see, but what made them think two bathrooms was a good idea? Well I figured I had to get used to it, so I unpacked what I brought and took a seat on my couch. It was finally time to get some sleep, ‘cause as soon as I woke up I knew I would have to get to work. Chapter 2: WelcomeChapter 2 Welcome Ever get the feeling that someone is staring at you? Normally you just think it’s nothing and move on. But for an agent, that feeling is your best friend. Countless times I’ve discovered I was being watched by some low life criminal, all because I just had a feeling and acted on it. This time however I could feel that I was being watched while I was asleep. I cautiously peeled my eyes open to survey the room, and make sure that nopony was hiding from me in the shower(s). Unfortunately I couldn’t see my living room, and instead I found myself staring at another set of giant blue eyes right next to mine. I didn’t have much time to react; as soon as she noticed I was awake she started asking me questions. “HEY THERE! What’s your name? Mine’s Pinkie Pie,” She shouted into my face. I was speechless. Here I was, the top agent of the EBI, and this pony had successfully picked my lock and snuck up on me without a sound. If a pastry nut like her could do that, then what was SH capable of? Unless she was…no, somepony would have noticed by now. I finally just spat out the first thing that came to mind. “How did you get in my house?” “Oh silly, it was easy! You forgot to lock the door!” She giggled and pointed to the front door, all the locks were off! “What? There’s no way I would be so careless, I made sure to lock the place down before I slept.” I stated not believing a word out of her. “You didn’t lock the Pinkie-Lock though.” She said happily. “Pinkie-Lock? What in blazes is a Pinkie lock?” I asked completely baffled. Those lab techs never told me what a Pinkie lock was or how to work one. Oh when I get back I’m gonna…wait. “You’re joking aren’t you?” I asked just now catching on. Pinkie started laughing like I had just told the funniest joke in the world (only she didn’t die). When she calmed down she started talking. “Of course not silly, you left the window unlocked and I was able to slip in easily,” she explained it as if she did that every day. “So you broke into my house and hovered over me until I woke up…..Is there some sort of medication you’re supposed to be taking?” I asked. “Ah ah ahhh! I’m not saying anything else until you tell me your name,” She said getting even closer in my face. “Jim. It’s Jim Green. Now could you please get off of my chest? I would like to feel my lungs again.” She really wasn’t that heavy, but I would prefer her not to sit on me. She nodded and jumped off of me, and it seemed now that she knew my name she was even happier. She then grabbed my hoof and started shaking it lightning fast. “Well Jimmy it’s nice to meet you! I hope you like it here in Ponyville, it’s SUCH a great place. OOOH I almost forgot!” She bolted out of the house and before the door closed again she was right back in with some sort of contraption. It was a small pink and blue wagon with Pinkie’s balloon cutie mark on it. “This is my Welcome Wagon! I use it to welcome people here!” She exclaimed. She pressed a red button on the left side of it, and it exploded in a mass of flags and trumpets. In the center was an oven with cupcakes and pies all around it. Suddenly music began to play and Pinkie sang and danced. “Welcome welcome welcome A fine welcome to you Welcome welcome welcome I say how do you do? Welcome welcome welcome I say hip hip hurray Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!” Wait, this part was in the file. Pinkie would welcome people with song and dance then give them a- BOOM The oven exploded in a mass of confetti, which completely threw me off. The file clearly stated she would give a cake THEN have a blast of confetti…unless… OH NO! The confetti cannons started shaking violently, and I realized they were about to erupt in a mega blast of cake batter. If any of it got on my equipment, it would ruin it or cause major malfunctions. I had to act fast, so I grabbed my bag and made a dash for the next room but I wasn’t fast enough. Another blast of confetti went off covering the room even more than before. I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at the machine. “OH MY GOSH! I must have forgotten to put the cake in ENTIERLY! It must still be at Sugar Cube Corner. I’m so sorry,” Pinkie apologized, almost like she had killed my cat or something. “Hey, it’s okay,” I said trying to cheer her up. “I’m not that big a fan of cake anyway.” She then switched from apologetic to absolutely bamboozled. “You don’t like cake!?!?!” “What? No I didn’t say-” I never got to finish, as she grabbed my leg and dragged me out the door. I thought Rainbow Dash was supposed to be the fast one, but she seemed to be quicker than thought. I have never seen a pony move as fast as her…neither have I moved that fast. When she finally stopped in front of some bakery, my head was throbbing and I felt like my stomach was in my hind hooves. I stumbled over to the nearest trash can and waited to hurl. Luckily it never happened, so I got off of it and stumbled back to the front door with Pinkie. “So….Where are we exactly?” I asked, still hoping my lunch would stay down. “This is Sugar Cube Corner. I’ve never met a pony that’s turned down a cake here! Now come inside and let’s get you that cake!” She grabbed me again and pulled me inside. The smell of baked goods and candy filled the air around it. There were cupcakes, pies, muffins, you name it they had it on display. The aroma itself was enough to cure me of all stomach pains. Perhaps this crazy pony wasn’t so bad after all. Except there was another smell, and it was hard to identify since the smell of all the baked goods covered it up well. “Alright, I’ll go get the cake out of the oven!” She bounced away towards the kitchen. Wow, I just got here and already Pinkie has broken into my house, nearly gave me a heart attack, and had a cake waiting for me in the oven this entire- “OH SH*T!” It just hit me. What I smelled was smoke! If she had left that cake in the oven this whole time then it must have- “EEEEEEEEEE!” Pinkie was screaming in the kitchen, she must have opened the door to meet a blast of fire. I didn’t waste any time, I charged into the kitchen only to be met with a wall of flame. The oven fire was large; in fact there wasn’t much of an oven left. Pinkie had jumped back far enough to keep out of reach of the fire, but it wasn’t going to be long before it spread. I had to act quickly. I ran over to Pinkie and tossed her on my back and ran even faster out of the kitchen. I set her down gently, and noticed that she was still freaking out a little. Her eyes were fixed on the orange glow coming from the kitchen. “Pinkie, where do you keep the fire extinguisher?” I asked. I hoped she would calm down enough to answer. “We don’t have one. Well we did, but the cutie mark crusaders needed to borrow ours and we haven’t bought a new one yet.” She answered quickly, but her eyes never left the kitchen. “That’s just great. Alright let me think.....” I thought quickly. What did we have? Cakes, a burning oven…IN A KITCHEN! “There’s faucet in the kitchen! I have an idea, do you have a wrench?” “No, but I do have a chicken.” She pulled out a floppy rubber chicken and handed it to me. “Close enough. Now stay here and DO NOT LEAVE!” I instructed. She nodded lightly, and the fear in her face was something I’ll never forget. Moving quickly I bolted right back into the kitchen and didn’t even look at the fire. I opened the cupboard below the sink and used the beak of the chicken to unscrew the pipe. Water started spewing out, but it wasn’t enough. I had to think, and fast, because if this plan didn’t work this whole place was going down. Nothing came to mind, and I cursed as I realized I didn’t have any of the tools necessary for this job. Suddenly I had an idea: this wasn’t a logical place, this was Pinkie Pie’s place! Perhaps her kind of crazy thinking was what I needed. I measured the size of the pipe with my eyes and looked for something roughly the same size. The only thing I could see though was muffins and there was no way… No, don’t think like that, think crazy! I grabbed a muffin and shoved it into the pipe. I’ll never know how, but it worked. The SOLID METAL pipe started swelling up like a hose when it’s stepped on, and it slowly got bigger and bigger until POW! The muffin shot out followed by a torrent of water that would put a fire hose to shame, and aimed directly at the heart of the fire. In no time the flames were doused and the only proof it even existed was a black scorch mark around on the floor and up the wall. There was almost no damage to the ceiling surprisingly. I backed up and slid down the wall, my adrenalin was pumping. First day on the job and I had almost failed. I just sat there staring at the black heap of metal that used to be an oven. Pinkie walked into the room, her eyes darted from the oven to the sink to me. “You okay?” I asked still breathing pretty hard. “Y-yeah I’m fine. I can’t believe it did that. I’ve NEVER had a cake do that before.” She was completely distraught. “How could Derpy let this happen?” “Wait, Derpy? You had somepony watching this place?” Red flags went off. Somepony was watching this place? Of course, there was no way in hell a freaking cake would cause a fire of that magnitude. Somepony would have had to use an accelera. “Yeah, Derpy Hooves. I was in charge of the kids but I had to go meet you so I asked her to watch the place. She’s a pretty good friend, not the brightest of the bunch, except for that time she ate a glow stick and then she really WAS the brightest-“ “Pinkie,” I interrupted. It seemed she was slowly going back to normal. Well normal for Pinkie. “Look, it’s very important that we keep this to ourselves. If anyone asks, you came home and something caused the oven to explode but none of the flames lingered so it just left this big mess. As for the water everywhere, say you dumped a bucket of it on the oven to make sure it didn’t start up again.” “What why? Don’t you want me to tell everyone about how you saved my life AND Sugar Cube Corner? You’ll be a hero to all of Ponyville!” Pinkie didn’t understand why I was trying to keep myself out of the spot. And why would she? Everypony dreams of having their time to shine and I was making sure no one knew what had happened. “Look, I just got here and I’d rather keep under the radar. You know what I mean?” She just looked at me funny; she really didn’t understand this at all. “*sigh* Let me put it this way, I’d like to keep this a secret, and you wouldn’t want to tell anyone my secret and betray my trust right?” I said raising one of my eyebrows. Her file had said something about her never losing a friend’s trust. “OOOHH! I get it. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She recited the words with actions to each then actually sticking her hoof in her eye. I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that no one would find out I was here. I mean, becoming a hero is tempting, yes, but that would draw attention to me, and with how clever SH was it wouldn’t take long to realize that it would have taken an EBI agent or a super hero to do what I just did…and one of those is more possible than the other. Once my heart had stopped pounding, I stood up and fixed the pipe, the less of a disaster the better. I gave the rubber chicken back to Pinkie. “Thank you Miss Pie. That was, quiet the welcoming,” I joked as I headed for the door. “Wait!” She zoomed in front of me. “I just wanted to say thanks.” She grabbed and hugged me so tight I was afraid my eyes would pop out. “Hey, it was no trouble at all,” I said trying to free myself from her crushing squeeze. “Um, Pinkie, you can let go now.” “Oh, sorry,” She said letting go with a weak smile. I just chuckled and headed out. This first day was a lot better than I had hoped. I had not only saved and gained the trust of one of the pony-gang, but I had a suspect. As soon as I got home I powered up my laptop and pressed the light and start time button on my watch. “This is Agent Green.” I said in a low almost whisper voice. “I need you to send me everything we have on Derpy Hooves. I believe we have our number one suspect.” Chapter 3: ShoppingChapter 3 Shopping I had never seen such an odd pony, and I just met Pinkie Pie. According to what the EBI had on Derpy, her real name was Ditzy Doo. She was a gray pegasi whose eyes have been apparently crossed since birth. She was assigned as a postal pony in charge of delivering letters and packages. Who decided she would do that job? I mean, sure we all have something we’re good at, and when we find it, our cutie mark appears to show the world, but hers was a set of bubbles. BUBBLES! How do you link that with postal work and decide a cross-eyed pony would be great at a job that requires reading? Off topic again, I needed to focus on the case. Picking up the tape recorder I was sent, with I clicked the record button. “Tuesday, March 12th. I have just begun my investigation on Silent Hoof. On my first day my house was broken into by Pinkie Pie, one of the elements, and SH’s prime targets. Within minutes of meeting her an attempt was made on her life. Her oven, which she was currently baking a cake in, caught fire and almost burned Sugar Cube Corner to the ground. Luckily I was there to put out the flames and convince her to keep my involvement a secret. The fire however…well, an overcooked cake might turn black and have a small fire, but it doesn’t try to replace the furnace. It was then I discovered the place was being looked after by one Derpy Hooves, who was nowhere to be seen during the whole ordeal. As we know SH hides by disposing of a town’s resident and poses as them until he strikes again. At this time I believe SH has taken the place of Derpy. From what I know, Derpy’s real name is Ditzy Doo. She is a postal worker, which is an easy job to assume, just read the address and hand over the letter. She also appears to have an IQ that’s BELOW, below average, and it’s incredibly easy to fake stupidity, no matter how smart you are. The only thing that would be hard to replicate is her eyes, they’re constantly crossed, which must hurt or irritate someone who doesn’t live that way…with the right amount of practice though it might get easier to pull off." I got up and looked out of my bedroom, and stared at the blinding sun. "It’s still daytime, and SH has already made one attempt on a pony. Chances are she won't try anything else. I'll find an ideal spot to monitor and watch her tonight when she’s most likely to try and set up her next scheme; see what else I can learn about this strange pony." I walked back over and clicked the recorder off. Come nightfall, I would get to test out my new camera bag. Err...bag camera. I'll come up with a name for it later. Right now it was time for me to begin my hardest objective yet, shopping. If you remember on the list of stuff I brought, not once did I say food. I also didn't say money, but when you work for this government they take care of you. A bag of bits was hidden under my bed, and let’s just say I wasn’t gonna be complaining any time soon. I strapped on my saddle bag, grabbed about 50 bits and headed out to the market. I had to ask myself what I was in the mood for. Because whatever the answer was, they had it. I never thought such a small hick town like this would have such a busy shopping area, but here I was, just sitting there waiting in line, to get in line, for some freaken apples. Patience was part of my training however. I could sit here for hours if I needed to. Luckily, the line for the line moved fast and the actual line moved just as quick. When I got up to the 5th in line, however, it slowed down. A random pony, white with a purple mane, came up and started talking to the pony running the stand, an orange one with a very cool hat. I was able to recognize them from their profile pictures, Applejack and Rarity. The two started chatting it up about some party they and the others in the gang had been planning. Uh oh. Having all the ponies together in one place goofing around would be the perfect place for an "accident" to happen. I had to gain access to this party to keep an eye on things. But how? I could mention I was new in town. That almost got me a free cake, so it could probably work again. But that might turn it into a full blown Welcome Party, and the last thing I need is everypony bombarding me with questions about my past. I hadn't had time to make sure it sounds believable. Perhaps I could tell them- "AAAAAAAA!!" ...Or instead of talking I could just walk up and make Rarity have a heart attack, that’s a good plan. While I was thinking the line must have moved because I was now first. "Dear Celestia what happened to your mane!" She was screaming in terror. "What, what is it?" I started patting on my head to see if there was anything on me. My hair was just fine. "It's...dreadful! It looks like you fell into a blender!" I'm sorry, I was so occupied saving your best friend’s life; I guess I forgot to make sure my mane was all nice and neat, thank you for pointing that out. Of course I honestly didn't care and I was going to say something, but Applejack came to my defense. "Now come on Rarity, not everypony has the same taste in style. Why I think his mane is just fine." "Oh you're kidding me, AJ, not even you would consider that mess a hairstyle," Rarity argued. "Um, ladies?" I tried to break up the fight but they just kept going. "I reckon it don't matter what I think, nor what you think," AJ retaliated. "Ladies?" "I'm just saying there's no way he intentionally did that to his mane." "Big Mac’s mane is always messed up and I never hear you judging him." "Ladies." "Yes, but it fits a farm pony like him. This pony-" "Has a right to look however he wants." "And I have the right to speak my mind and I think-" "LADIES!" I yelled as loud as I could. They both went quiet. "Look. I all I want is to buy some apples. So if you could please give me a basket, I’ll be on my way." AJ seemed stunned. She was either freaked out because she had forgotten I was standing there, or that I had just snapped at her while she was trying to defend me. I took a deep breath and calmed down. "Look, I really don't care about my mane." "Told ya." AJ had a smug look on her face. "ON THAT NOTE. If it means that much to you, I'm not doing anything today. If you have an open spot I could come in for an appointment," I suggested to Rarity. I thought it would be a good compromise. "Well I do know a thing or two that would look good on you." Rarity started looking over the rest of me. "Come by The Carousel Boutique and I'll make you look fashionable. I'm Rarity by the way." "Jim Green. And you?" I turned to AJ. "I'm Applejack. Mighty fine to meet you Jim." She grabbed my hoof and started shaking it. Now I thought Pinkie Pie shook hooves hard, but THIS pony had mastered the art, and after half a second I lost all feeling in that leg. "Nice to meet you too," I replied, wincing as soon as she let go. I had to shake my hoof a few times to get the feeling back, and even then it was just a small tingle. "So how much will that be?" I asked, referring back to the apples. "Absolutely nothin. Consider it a welcoming gift." She winked and smiled at me. "Oh. Thanks." I was surprised, all I did was show up and this town had welcomed me with open hooves. When I finished training for the EBI after several years, I was still hazed for the first months. I tipped a basket of apples and poured it into my saddle bag. Once I got these home I would head over to The Carousel Boutique and get my hair done. No, I didn't suddenly want to look good. If I know fashion types like her, they love to talk. And as open as these ponies were, all I would have to do is ask and she would tell me anything I needed to know, such as suspicious activities by others. Things were looking up.
Chapter 1: New AssignmentChapter 1 New Assignment “Hey Jim, wake up.” I almost leaped out of my seat when I heard the chief call me. I must have fallen asleep at my desk. “Yes chief?” I asked nonchalantly. “I need to see you in my office. Come on.” He turned and walked off towards his office. I really hoped he wasn’t grilling me for sleeping on the job. True, it was midday and everypony else was alert and wake, but I had stayed up all night to finally close the Ericson case which had taken me over a month or so to crack. See this pony had broken into the castle and tried to steal some top secret work that this stallion named Joe Ericson was- “JIM!” The chief called, a little irritated that I had just sat at my desk when he had given me a direct order. I quickly jumped up, ran into the office, and sat down on the chair on the other side of the chief’s desk (a very nice mahogany piece). The chief closed the door and walked over to his seat. “There’s not much time so I’ll get straight to the point. Jim, you’re about to go undercover in the most important mission of your life.” “Sir?” I asked with complete confusion. “I’m sure you know who the Elements of Harmony are.” He pulled out a folder and opened it on his desk revealing its contents: Pictures of by now all too familiar girls, either alone, or together. “Well yeah, everypony’s heard of them. Saved all of Equestria more than once I believe. Are they suspects in something?” I asked. It didn’t seem right. These girls had done so much good, yet I was supposed to go undercover to watch them? “No, in fact, it’s the complete opposite. We discovered a syringe in the Princess’ chambers after the Gala, it was filled with a poison that would kill her almost instantly. It was a special brand to, I think you know who I’m talking about.” The Chief explained, giving me his trademark, ‘No Bullcrap’ look. “Silent Hoof,” I growled recognizing the mark of the most infamous assassin in history. “But what stopped him?” “We believe the chaos that the Ponyville gang caused during last night’s Gala might have thrown him off, and since the princess stayed out with them while the guards cleaned up, the assassin had to leave before he could do his job.” “So, what’s our plan then?” I asked not sure where this was headed. “This was discovered in the room he had been staying in. Like usual he had cleaned it better than the normal services, but he left something.” The chief pulled out a picture; it was a picture of the girls, each one of them with a red circle around their head. “Why would he have this? Is he going after them?” I was baffled by this. Sure, they had caused Silent Hoof to fail his latest mission, but he was never one for revenge. It just didn’t fit his MO (Mode of Operations for those of you who aren’t in the know). “Come on Jim, you’re the best detective here, you figure it out.” The chief said impatiently. Suddenly, I felt like I could go for another nap. Sleep deprivation was my one weakness. No sleep means my thoughts weren’t clear, and as a detective that was something you couldn’t afford to lose. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Pretty soon the answers came to me. “So far, every plan to take out the princess or the kingdom entirely has been foiled by them. If somepony were to get to her, they would need to dispose of the Elements first,” I deduced, going off of the evidence at hoof. This wasn’t an act of revenge at all. Silent Hoof never failed a job we know of, and he wasn’t going to on this one. He was planning to make another attempt on the princess, but in order for that to happen he would need to eliminate the Elements of Harmony. “Good. Now here,” He closed up the file and handed it to me. “This contains all the girls’ info and the location of your new home. Your mission is to go undercover into Ponyville. While there, you will watch them, make sure nothing happens to them, and figure out everything you need to in order to uncover and stop this guy. Now I want you to report to the lab where they’ll gear you up.” He said, his tone clearly stating that there weren’t going to be any arguments. “Why me, Chief?” I argued anyways. I didn’t want to go undercover, and I especially didn’t want to go up against SH, the greatest criminal we ever faced. Granted, I didn’t have very many friends and I wasn’t close to my family, but all my stuff was here! Canterlot was a great home and I had no intention of living in a small country town like Ponyville. “I told you: you’re the best,” The Chief said tiredly. “Right now, we have no idea how long Silent Hoof has been living there, and those Girls’ lives are in danger as we speak. This guy is the best assassin we’ve ever faced, but no matter how good they make mistakes, if anyone’s gonna notice them it’s going to be you. Be careful though: if he finds out we’re onto him, he may jump town, or worst.” I couldn’t argue with The Chief, the whole plan made sense. Get into Ponyville, watch the locals, uncover SH, and bring him in. “So what’s my alias?” I asked, silently accepting the mission. “Since no one there knows anything about you, you can keep your name and save yourself the trouble of learning a new one. Your story will be simple: you recently moved in from Manehattan looking to get away from the city life,” The chief explained. “Well that’s extremely average. And how do we explain my cutie mark of a badge?” I asked sensing that a major problem would come from this. “Say it’s a star, I mean it looks more like that than a badge really,” He suggested, giving me the, “It’s your problem, not mine” shrug. “And what will it stand for?” “I don’t’ know, an actor, a singer, I mean, a star can mean many things. You’re clever, I’m sure you can think of something. Plus you could really pass off as anything; I mean a teacher there has flowers for her cutie mark, what does flowers have to do with teaching? ” He joked, trying to lighten the mood it seemed. “Well then, I guess we better stop wasting time.” I stood up and headed for the door. Well I’ve left you all in the dark long enough, I’ll explain as much as I can to you. My name is Jim Green, and as you can guess I work for the EBI, Equestrian Bureau of Investigation. Yes, I know I sound a lot like Mr. Green from that freakin’ board game but I swear if one more pony calls me that…Sorry off topic. I’m a green Earth pony (as if the name didn’t give that away) with a white-yellow mane that usually covers my right eye. I’m not sure why, and frankly I don’t care, hair is not my top priority. My cutie mark, as explained earlier, is a badge. Well not really, it’s a dark gold star. But I like to think it’s a badge. As for the chief, he’s pretty generic. Light brown with a dark brown mane that’s shaved to almost non-existence, and he constantly has a cigar in his mouth. No, really, I mean I’m surprised that Pony doesn’t have a cigar for a cutie mark, he smokes so much. And then there’s Silent Hoof. He/She is the number one on our most wanted list, yet we’ve never seen them before. We’ve figured out how he/she works however: They kill two targets. The one he’s hired for, and another that he/she then disguises as and becomes for the next year or month until his work is off the paper. Now you may be wondering why I’m telling you all this, but that’s not important. And come on, you’re about to see a story of an undercover agent fighting against an assassin master mind with both his hooves and his wits. Well what’s left of them, but we’ll get into that when we get there. Now I left off at the lab… The technicians fitted me with probably the most advanced gear to date. Since I could only have something that didn’t scream “Agent,” they gave me a super high tech watch. It could not only tell time, but it was also a communicator to keep in touch with command, an analyzer to make sure I wasn’t going to be poisoned, and of course the standard laser. They also gave me a laptop, (I’m sure you all know what laptops do and why I would need one so I don’t have to say much). After they gave me a saddle bag with a camera built into it, I headed for home. My house, or apartment, wasn’t really that big a deal. It had one bedroom, one bathroom, a kitchen and a living room that was basically combined, and a small balcony. It was strange really, I never had anyone over and nothing amazing had every happened in this dump, but it was still my home. I had no idea how long I would go without and it made me feel just sick. I packed only the most important things to me. My trusty revolver (Yes, it’s a COLT, you can all stop laughing now), a picture of my parents before they passed on, and my toaster (That toaster and I have been together for a long time okay). Once I was loaded up I headed towards the train station, and from there it would be a quick trip to Ponyville. Not quick enough though, it felt like it took forever and I wished I had brought a pillow. Sleep could wait again though; I needed to know all I could about the pony gang. I opened their files on my laptop, and read them over and over. When the train finally did stop I got up and rushed for the door. I don’t remember how I got there, but I found myself at my new house. I must have been too focused on the fact that I had no clue about anything in this town, yet I was supposed to look for any hints that would lead me to SH. With a deep sigh, I opened up the door. It was a lot like my old place, one bedroom equipped with a bed and a desk for me to work on, a living room and kitchen combined into almost the same room with a couch right on the border, two bath-TWO BATHROOMS!? What was I supposed to do with two of those? I mean two bedrooms I could see, but what made them think two bathrooms was a good idea? Well I figured I had to get used to it, so I unpacked what I brought and took a seat on my couch. It was finally time to get some sleep, ‘cause as soon as I woke up I knew I would have to get to work.
Chapter 2: WelcomeChapter 2 Welcome Ever get the feeling that someone is staring at you? Normally you just think it’s nothing and move on. But for an agent, that feeling is your best friend. Countless times I’ve discovered I was being watched by some low life criminal, all because I just had a feeling and acted on it. This time however I could feel that I was being watched while I was asleep. I cautiously peeled my eyes open to survey the room, and make sure that nopony was hiding from me in the shower(s). Unfortunately I couldn’t see my living room, and instead I found myself staring at another set of giant blue eyes right next to mine. I didn’t have much time to react; as soon as she noticed I was awake she started asking me questions. “HEY THERE! What’s your name? Mine’s Pinkie Pie,” She shouted into my face. I was speechless. Here I was, the top agent of the EBI, and this pony had successfully picked my lock and snuck up on me without a sound. If a pastry nut like her could do that, then what was SH capable of? Unless she was…no, somepony would have noticed by now. I finally just spat out the first thing that came to mind. “How did you get in my house?” “Oh silly, it was easy! You forgot to lock the door!” She giggled and pointed to the front door, all the locks were off! “What? There’s no way I would be so careless, I made sure to lock the place down before I slept.” I stated not believing a word out of her. “You didn’t lock the Pinkie-Lock though.” She said happily. “Pinkie-Lock? What in blazes is a Pinkie lock?” I asked completely baffled. Those lab techs never told me what a Pinkie lock was or how to work one. Oh when I get back I’m gonna…wait. “You’re joking aren’t you?” I asked just now catching on. Pinkie started laughing like I had just told the funniest joke in the world (only she didn’t die). When she calmed down she started talking. “Of course not silly, you left the window unlocked and I was able to slip in easily,” she explained it as if she did that every day. “So you broke into my house and hovered over me until I woke up…..Is there some sort of medication you’re supposed to be taking?” I asked. “Ah ah ahhh! I’m not saying anything else until you tell me your name,” She said getting even closer in my face. “Jim. It’s Jim Green. Now could you please get off of my chest? I would like to feel my lungs again.” She really wasn’t that heavy, but I would prefer her not to sit on me. She nodded and jumped off of me, and it seemed now that she knew my name she was even happier. She then grabbed my hoof and started shaking it lightning fast. “Well Jimmy it’s nice to meet you! I hope you like it here in Ponyville, it’s SUCH a great place. OOOH I almost forgot!” She bolted out of the house and before the door closed again she was right back in with some sort of contraption. It was a small pink and blue wagon with Pinkie’s balloon cutie mark on it. “This is my Welcome Wagon! I use it to welcome people here!” She exclaimed. She pressed a red button on the left side of it, and it exploded in a mass of flags and trumpets. In the center was an oven with cupcakes and pies all around it. Suddenly music began to play and Pinkie sang and danced. “Welcome welcome welcome A fine welcome to you Welcome welcome welcome I say how do you do? Welcome welcome welcome I say hip hip hurray Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!” Wait, this part was in the file. Pinkie would welcome people with song and dance then give them a- BOOM The oven exploded in a mass of confetti, which completely threw me off. The file clearly stated she would give a cake THEN have a blast of confetti…unless… OH NO! The confetti cannons started shaking violently, and I realized they were about to erupt in a mega blast of cake batter. If any of it got on my equipment, it would ruin it or cause major malfunctions. I had to act fast, so I grabbed my bag and made a dash for the next room but I wasn’t fast enough. Another blast of confetti went off covering the room even more than before. I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at the machine. “OH MY GOSH! I must have forgotten to put the cake in ENTIERLY! It must still be at Sugar Cube Corner. I’m so sorry,” Pinkie apologized, almost like she had killed my cat or something. “Hey, it’s okay,” I said trying to cheer her up. “I’m not that big a fan of cake anyway.” She then switched from apologetic to absolutely bamboozled. “You don’t like cake!?!?!” “What? No I didn’t say-” I never got to finish, as she grabbed my leg and dragged me out the door. I thought Rainbow Dash was supposed to be the fast one, but she seemed to be quicker than thought. I have never seen a pony move as fast as her…neither have I moved that fast. When she finally stopped in front of some bakery, my head was throbbing and I felt like my stomach was in my hind hooves. I stumbled over to the nearest trash can and waited to hurl. Luckily it never happened, so I got off of it and stumbled back to the front door with Pinkie. “So….Where are we exactly?” I asked, still hoping my lunch would stay down. “This is Sugar Cube Corner. I’ve never met a pony that’s turned down a cake here! Now come inside and let’s get you that cake!” She grabbed me again and pulled me inside. The smell of baked goods and candy filled the air around it. There were cupcakes, pies, muffins, you name it they had it on display. The aroma itself was enough to cure me of all stomach pains. Perhaps this crazy pony wasn’t so bad after all. Except there was another smell, and it was hard to identify since the smell of all the baked goods covered it up well. “Alright, I’ll go get the cake out of the oven!” She bounced away towards the kitchen. Wow, I just got here and already Pinkie has broken into my house, nearly gave me a heart attack, and had a cake waiting for me in the oven this entire- “OH SH*T!” It just hit me. What I smelled was smoke! If she had left that cake in the oven this whole time then it must have- “EEEEEEEEEE!” Pinkie was screaming in the kitchen, she must have opened the door to meet a blast of fire. I didn’t waste any time, I charged into the kitchen only to be met with a wall of flame. The oven fire was large; in fact there wasn’t much of an oven left. Pinkie had jumped back far enough to keep out of reach of the fire, but it wasn’t going to be long before it spread. I had to act quickly. I ran over to Pinkie and tossed her on my back and ran even faster out of the kitchen. I set her down gently, and noticed that she was still freaking out a little. Her eyes were fixed on the orange glow coming from the kitchen. “Pinkie, where do you keep the fire extinguisher?” I asked. I hoped she would calm down enough to answer. “We don’t have one. Well we did, but the cutie mark crusaders needed to borrow ours and we haven’t bought a new one yet.” She answered quickly, but her eyes never left the kitchen. “That’s just great. Alright let me think.....” I thought quickly. What did we have? Cakes, a burning oven…IN A KITCHEN! “There’s faucet in the kitchen! I have an idea, do you have a wrench?” “No, but I do have a chicken.” She pulled out a floppy rubber chicken and handed it to me. “Close enough. Now stay here and DO NOT LEAVE!” I instructed. She nodded lightly, and the fear in her face was something I’ll never forget. Moving quickly I bolted right back into the kitchen and didn’t even look at the fire. I opened the cupboard below the sink and used the beak of the chicken to unscrew the pipe. Water started spewing out, but it wasn’t enough. I had to think, and fast, because if this plan didn’t work this whole place was going down. Nothing came to mind, and I cursed as I realized I didn’t have any of the tools necessary for this job. Suddenly I had an idea: this wasn’t a logical place, this was Pinkie Pie’s place! Perhaps her kind of crazy thinking was what I needed. I measured the size of the pipe with my eyes and looked for something roughly the same size. The only thing I could see though was muffins and there was no way… No, don’t think like that, think crazy! I grabbed a muffin and shoved it into the pipe. I’ll never know how, but it worked. The SOLID METAL pipe started swelling up like a hose when it’s stepped on, and it slowly got bigger and bigger until POW! The muffin shot out followed by a torrent of water that would put a fire hose to shame, and aimed directly at the heart of the fire. In no time the flames were doused and the only proof it even existed was a black scorch mark around on the floor and up the wall. There was almost no damage to the ceiling surprisingly. I backed up and slid down the wall, my adrenalin was pumping. First day on the job and I had almost failed. I just sat there staring at the black heap of metal that used to be an oven. Pinkie walked into the room, her eyes darted from the oven to the sink to me. “You okay?” I asked still breathing pretty hard. “Y-yeah I’m fine. I can’t believe it did that. I’ve NEVER had a cake do that before.” She was completely distraught. “How could Derpy let this happen?” “Wait, Derpy? You had somepony watching this place?” Red flags went off. Somepony was watching this place? Of course, there was no way in hell a freaking cake would cause a fire of that magnitude. Somepony would have had to use an accelera. “Yeah, Derpy Hooves. I was in charge of the kids but I had to go meet you so I asked her to watch the place. She’s a pretty good friend, not the brightest of the bunch, except for that time she ate a glow stick and then she really WAS the brightest-“ “Pinkie,” I interrupted. It seemed she was slowly going back to normal. Well normal for Pinkie. “Look, it’s very important that we keep this to ourselves. If anyone asks, you came home and something caused the oven to explode but none of the flames lingered so it just left this big mess. As for the water everywhere, say you dumped a bucket of it on the oven to make sure it didn’t start up again.” “What why? Don’t you want me to tell everyone about how you saved my life AND Sugar Cube Corner? You’ll be a hero to all of Ponyville!” Pinkie didn’t understand why I was trying to keep myself out of the spot. And why would she? Everypony dreams of having their time to shine and I was making sure no one knew what had happened. “Look, I just got here and I’d rather keep under the radar. You know what I mean?” She just looked at me funny; she really didn’t understand this at all. “*sigh* Let me put it this way, I’d like to keep this a secret, and you wouldn’t want to tell anyone my secret and betray my trust right?” I said raising one of my eyebrows. Her file had said something about her never losing a friend’s trust. “OOOHH! I get it. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She recited the words with actions to each then actually sticking her hoof in her eye. I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that no one would find out I was here. I mean, becoming a hero is tempting, yes, but that would draw attention to me, and with how clever SH was it wouldn’t take long to realize that it would have taken an EBI agent or a super hero to do what I just did…and one of those is more possible than the other. Once my heart had stopped pounding, I stood up and fixed the pipe, the less of a disaster the better. I gave the rubber chicken back to Pinkie. “Thank you Miss Pie. That was, quiet the welcoming,” I joked as I headed for the door. “Wait!” She zoomed in front of me. “I just wanted to say thanks.” She grabbed and hugged me so tight I was afraid my eyes would pop out. “Hey, it was no trouble at all,” I said trying to free myself from her crushing squeeze. “Um, Pinkie, you can let go now.” “Oh, sorry,” She said letting go with a weak smile. I just chuckled and headed out. This first day was a lot better than I had hoped. I had not only saved and gained the trust of one of the pony-gang, but I had a suspect. As soon as I got home I powered up my laptop and pressed the light and start time button on my watch. “This is Agent Green.” I said in a low almost whisper voice. “I need you to send me everything we have on Derpy Hooves. I believe we have our number one suspect.”
Chapter 3: ShoppingChapter 3 Shopping I had never seen such an odd pony, and I just met Pinkie Pie. According to what the EBI had on Derpy, her real name was Ditzy Doo. She was a gray pegasi whose eyes have been apparently crossed since birth. She was assigned as a postal pony in charge of delivering letters and packages. Who decided she would do that job? I mean, sure we all have something we’re good at, and when we find it, our cutie mark appears to show the world, but hers was a set of bubbles. BUBBLES! How do you link that with postal work and decide a cross-eyed pony would be great at a job that requires reading? Off topic again, I needed to focus on the case. Picking up the tape recorder I was sent, with I clicked the record button. “Tuesday, March 12th. I have just begun my investigation on Silent Hoof. On my first day my house was broken into by Pinkie Pie, one of the elements, and SH’s prime targets. Within minutes of meeting her an attempt was made on her life. Her oven, which she was currently baking a cake in, caught fire and almost burned Sugar Cube Corner to the ground. Luckily I was there to put out the flames and convince her to keep my involvement a secret. The fire however…well, an overcooked cake might turn black and have a small fire, but it doesn’t try to replace the furnace. It was then I discovered the place was being looked after by one Derpy Hooves, who was nowhere to be seen during the whole ordeal. As we know SH hides by disposing of a town’s resident and poses as them until he strikes again. At this time I believe SH has taken the place of Derpy. From what I know, Derpy’s real name is Ditzy Doo. She is a postal worker, which is an easy job to assume, just read the address and hand over the letter. She also appears to have an IQ that’s BELOW, below average, and it’s incredibly easy to fake stupidity, no matter how smart you are. The only thing that would be hard to replicate is her eyes, they’re constantly crossed, which must hurt or irritate someone who doesn’t live that way…with the right amount of practice though it might get easier to pull off." I got up and looked out of my bedroom, and stared at the blinding sun. "It’s still daytime, and SH has already made one attempt on a pony. Chances are she won't try anything else. I'll find an ideal spot to monitor and watch her tonight when she’s most likely to try and set up her next scheme; see what else I can learn about this strange pony." I walked back over and clicked the recorder off. Come nightfall, I would get to test out my new camera bag. Err...bag camera. I'll come up with a name for it later. Right now it was time for me to begin my hardest objective yet, shopping. If you remember on the list of stuff I brought, not once did I say food. I also didn't say money, but when you work for this government they take care of you. A bag of bits was hidden under my bed, and let’s just say I wasn’t gonna be complaining any time soon. I strapped on my saddle bag, grabbed about 50 bits and headed out to the market. I had to ask myself what I was in the mood for. Because whatever the answer was, they had it. I never thought such a small hick town like this would have such a busy shopping area, but here I was, just sitting there waiting in line, to get in line, for some freaken apples. Patience was part of my training however. I could sit here for hours if I needed to. Luckily, the line for the line moved fast and the actual line moved just as quick. When I got up to the 5th in line, however, it slowed down. A random pony, white with a purple mane, came up and started talking to the pony running the stand, an orange one with a very cool hat. I was able to recognize them from their profile pictures, Applejack and Rarity. The two started chatting it up about some party they and the others in the gang had been planning. Uh oh. Having all the ponies together in one place goofing around would be the perfect place for an "accident" to happen. I had to gain access to this party to keep an eye on things. But how? I could mention I was new in town. That almost got me a free cake, so it could probably work again. But that might turn it into a full blown Welcome Party, and the last thing I need is everypony bombarding me with questions about my past. I hadn't had time to make sure it sounds believable. Perhaps I could tell them- "AAAAAAAA!!" ...Or instead of talking I could just walk up and make Rarity have a heart attack, that’s a good plan. While I was thinking the line must have moved because I was now first. "Dear Celestia what happened to your mane!" She was screaming in terror. "What, what is it?" I started patting on my head to see if there was anything on me. My hair was just fine. "It's...dreadful! It looks like you fell into a blender!" I'm sorry, I was so occupied saving your best friend’s life; I guess I forgot to make sure my mane was all nice and neat, thank you for pointing that out. Of course I honestly didn't care and I was going to say something, but Applejack came to my defense. "Now come on Rarity, not everypony has the same taste in style. Why I think his mane is just fine." "Oh you're kidding me, AJ, not even you would consider that mess a hairstyle," Rarity argued. "Um, ladies?" I tried to break up the fight but they just kept going. "I reckon it don't matter what I think, nor what you think," AJ retaliated. "Ladies?" "I'm just saying there's no way he intentionally did that to his mane." "Big Mac’s mane is always messed up and I never hear you judging him." "Ladies." "Yes, but it fits a farm pony like him. This pony-" "Has a right to look however he wants." "And I have the right to speak my mind and I think-" "LADIES!" I yelled as loud as I could. They both went quiet. "Look. I all I want is to buy some apples. So if you could please give me a basket, I’ll be on my way." AJ seemed stunned. She was either freaked out because she had forgotten I was standing there, or that I had just snapped at her while she was trying to defend me. I took a deep breath and calmed down. "Look, I really don't care about my mane." "Told ya." AJ had a smug look on her face. "ON THAT NOTE. If it means that much to you, I'm not doing anything today. If you have an open spot I could come in for an appointment," I suggested to Rarity. I thought it would be a good compromise. "Well I do know a thing or two that would look good on you." Rarity started looking over the rest of me. "Come by The Carousel Boutique and I'll make you look fashionable. I'm Rarity by the way." "Jim Green. And you?" I turned to AJ. "I'm Applejack. Mighty fine to meet you Jim." She grabbed my hoof and started shaking it. Now I thought Pinkie Pie shook hooves hard, but THIS pony had mastered the art, and after half a second I lost all feeling in that leg. "Nice to meet you too," I replied, wincing as soon as she let go. I had to shake my hoof a few times to get the feeling back, and even then it was just a small tingle. "So how much will that be?" I asked, referring back to the apples. "Absolutely nothin. Consider it a welcoming gift." She winked and smiled at me. "Oh. Thanks." I was surprised, all I did was show up and this town had welcomed me with open hooves. When I finished training for the EBI after several years, I was still hazed for the first months. I tipped a basket of apples and poured it into my saddle bag. Once I got these home I would head over to The Carousel Boutique and get my hair done. No, I didn't suddenly want to look good. If I know fashion types like her, they love to talk. And as open as these ponies were, all I would have to do is ask and she would tell me anything I needed to know, such as suspicious activities by others. Things were looking up.
