My Little Pony: Quest for the Holy Grail

"The problem here," remarked Alberto, "is the very fact that we're kind of lost. We've already diverted the water flow correctly. But now we don't know where to go -- to the Morgue, or to the Sewers, or to the Machine Room?"

Shining Armour's horn lit up suddenly. Everypony's eyes were on him.

"Don't go to the Morgue or the Machine Room, there's nothing of interest to us there," he said. "Sometimes certain places here may deviate or distract our attention, don't be fooled by them. Think about it: We've just successfully diverted water flow in the Cistern. Which of these places do you think will be most affected by our diversion of the Cistern water flow?"

"The sewers?" guessed Snips.

"You are right, Snips, it is the Sewers that will be most affected by the Cistern's water flow," said Shining Armour. "We will head there now. No time to tell you why. Come."

The Twelve Ponies and Alberto slowly headed into the Sewers. This was a huge, straight tunnel with shallow water up to wading level, just above Alberto's feet and the hooves of most of the ponies. The very first thing they noticed was a huge water wheel in front of them, right in the middle of the Sewers, beyond which could be heard the bellowing of Brutes.

"Now we've got to get past that bloody water wheel," said Big McIntosh.

"Look, amigos, another note just there," said Alberto, indicating to the water wheel; floating in the shallow water just under it was another note. He took it and read it:

Juni 20, 2038 / 1400 Uhr / Schneiens

Kruzitürcken! I keep trying to get zem off mein Rück but zey still keep breaking free from zose chains! Griflet has been taken care of vell and proper now, ja; but Bedevere is just too strong to be held down, in vun chop ze Schweinhund cut off zose chains, and I vud have been dead meat by now, had I not schtopped him vizz zat verdammte table!

Ach so. Sean and Dario called on me today in person. Just as vell zat Cheese Sandwich had brought ze prisoners to me earlier; gott sei dank, ze prisoners are ours at last, not only zat, I finally had somezing to show to Sean and Dario!

But vye, vye, VYE did Sean and Dario have to rush off so früh?! Zey could have schtayed und helped Cheese and I to guard ze Holy Grail und to fight ze prisoners if ze prisoners manage to escape... now Cheese and I are on our own. I svear zat Sean and Dario will pay DEARLY for vot zey have done to us just venn vee needed zem ze most!

It's a good zing zat zis Grail Vault is vell and fast secured, for only zose who have a pass kann enter into it..... and as far as I know, only I and Cheese have passes now, and I have torn up ze passes zat used to belong to Sean and Dario and scattered zem around ze chapel. Zere is no vay anypony can get ze Holy Grail now.

M.V.

Snails was somewhat tickled by Michael Valdez's strong Prussian accent, even in writing. "'Ze Prisoners'! So that's how he refers to us!" he giggled.

"This is no laughing matter, Snails," Thunderlane gave the little unicorn a gentle but urgent nudge. "The important business here is that we now know that the Holy Grail is indeed in this castle after all, it's in this place called the 'Grail Vault', and the only way to enter it is to find whichever 'pass' he is talking about. I figure it's paper material, since he used the word 'tore'."

"Let's get through this water wheel," said Soarin. "But first we need to stop it turning. Mac, could you lend me your harness please?"

"Sure," said Big McIntosh; "why not? You mean you want to use my harness to stop the water wheel?"

"It should definitely work if I put it in the right place," said Soarin.

"OK," said Big McIntosh. "But I gotta be the one to do it." He stepped forward to the water wheel. "Alberto," he called, "help me remove my harness, please."

Alberto took off Big McIntosh's harness. "Now lay it down on the water wheel," said Big McIntosh, "through any of dem gaps. Any one."

Alberto stuck the harness through one of the gaps till it reached nicely out on the other side. The water wheel stopped turning, and the harness was unaffected.

"Great work, Al!" said Big McIntosh. "Now, everypony, let's duck through this!"

They got out the other side successfully, and Alberto was just nicely able to remove Big McIntosh's harness (narrowly avoiding his finger getting chopped off) and fastening it back on the big red Clydesdale horse.

Suddenly a bellowing sound was heard, and a Brute came charging towards them!!!

"Excalibur, be my strength!" yelled Alberto. Drawing his sword, he rushed forward toward the oncoming Brute. The Brute raised his left arm, which was all but a big metal cleaver, attempting to hit Alberto with it; but Alberto's sword tactics, while effective, managed to do nothing more than block the Brute's attack attempts, actually causing all but minimal damage to the Brute.

"Let me fix that for you, Al!" shouted Rainbow Dash, picking up a small but heavy pebble from the sewer water. "Hi-YAH!" Using all her forehoof power, she kicked the pebble into the air, aiming right at the Brute.

The pebble hit the Brute right in his head, stunning him completely and allowing Alberto to deliver the death blow with Excalibur. "Caramba! That was close!" gasped Alberto.

"Now the question is," said Big McIntosh, "do we go left, or do we go right?"

He had a point, for there was now a Y-shaped fork in the sewer, heading diagonally to the left and to the right, beyond which there were more Brute bellows, audible enough.

"Gotta get past this one," said Applejack, as she wandered through the left fork. "There's a monster here."

"Same here," said Derpy, wandering a few steps into the right fork.

"My idea," suggested Dumbbell, "is that we create some kind of distraction. I have a feeling that the bellowing is coming from the same monster. OK. My plan. Mac, Shining, the two of you go to the left and distract the Brute. The rest of us will go through the right. And for you, Mac and Shining -- after you've managed to lure the Brute away, follow us as fast as you can."

"Sounds like a plan," said Big McIntosh. "Come, Shining."

The two big stallions marched to the left a few more steps. The bellowing got louder, and a Brute came charging towards them, his metal arm making noise as he moved.

"RUN!" yelled Shining Armour. He and Big McIntosh immediately turned around and ran back the way they came, following the directions given by Dumbbell.

They just managed to catch up with Dumbbell and the others through the right fork from where they had been; there was a passage with a ladder at the end.

"Now UP!" yelled Alberto. "CEPAT JALAN OGNI I PONY!!!"

This Brute was a fast one; he was running in from behind them and was already at Shining Armour's heels. "Quick! Shining! Alberto said UP NOW!!" neighed Dumbbell.

"You all go first!" yelled Shining Armour. "I'll finish him off myself! YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" he yelled as he pointed his horn at the Brute -- who was just about to whack him with his left arm -- and zapped him in the genitals. The Brute gave a bellowing sound as he fell to the ground, lifeless as ever.

"Phewph! That was close!" gasped Shining Armour, catching his breath. "Now I gotta go up and join the others!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the underground labyrinth where he had been imprisoned, Huascar was having no better luck finding an escape route. Behind him was the prison cells from which he'd just escaped; and the hallway he'd just stepped into led straight to a descending stairwell.

"No other way," said Huascar. He walked straight, down the stairwell, and discovered a door labelled:

CELLARIO DI VINO

ENTRATE COME VOLETE!

Beyond the door could be heard weird sounds that reeked to Huascar of hostility.

This is it, said Huascar to himself, now or never. He slowly turned the knob of the door and pushed the door forward, getting ready for a monster encounter.

The wine cellar was a big and reverberant square room, with a small passageway to the left at the far end and a locked door to the centre of the right wall. It smelled of (obviously) long-expired wine, and there were a few broken bottles on the floor and lots of empty, rodent-infested rattan shelves. Huascar cautiously treaded forward, knowing that he was not armed. The sounds of hostile machinery could be heard.

Then he saw it!

A big, round, cylindrical metal robot came rolling into view from behind the passageway and following the perimeter of the walls of the cellar! Huascar knew that this was definitely some hostile robot with a definite form of attack!!

"Oh, help!" said Huascar to himself as he crouched down in a corner and made sure that the robot, a Ballistikraft by make, could not detect him. The Ballistikraft rolled towards him while he covered his face and tried his hardest to not move.

It passed him.

Huascar was so relieved, he almost broke into a dance of joy -- but he most certainly knew better. Making sure the Ballistikraft couldn't detect him, he hugged the left wall and carefully walked through the small passageway at the end of the wall to another (smaller) part of the wine cellar where there was a door.

It was unlocked. Thank goodness! Huascar opened the door and walked inside, making sure to shut the door behind him...

* * *

Having just come out of the sewers, Alberto and the Twelve found themselves in a huge, magnificent church-like interieur. This was, without any doubt, the most magnificent sight they had seen since they had been imprisoned in the Rainy Hall.

"It's already June 21st over there in Bolivia," said Shining Armour, his horn lighting up. "We have to stop getting distracted and start focusing on the task at hoof."

"Something tells me," said Snips, "that we're getting closer to the Holy Grail than we think. But where exactly are we, Snails?"

"This is the Nave of the Chapel of Christ the King in St Petersburg," said Snails. "According to what my horn tells me, this is on the other side of the Vault of Heaven."

Suddenly a deep, booming male voice echoed around the entire building, causing everypony to freeze for a minute!

"ALBERTO GARCÍA! YOU HAFF GONE TOO FAR. I HAFF TO SCHTOPP YOU ZIS TIME. TUT MIR LEID, AMIGO MIO."

"That's a German accent!" gasped Snails. "Is that Michael's voice?"

"It could be only Michael who speaks like that, from the evidence we've seen thus far," said Alberto, taking the little unicorn and hugging him. "For now, let us continue on. This is the Nave of a chapel, so that means we are getting closer to the most likely place where Michael and the Grail must be hiding!"

The party proceeded down the aisle of the Nave, and suddenly, under a statue of the Virgin Mary to one side, they saw a Grunt!! Albeit a seemingly sad-looking Grunt, who was bound and chained to the statue of Mary.

"Please.... could you help me loosen my chains....." begged the Grunt. He spoke with a British accent.

"Should we trust him?" asked Rainbow Dash, scared. "Is he legit, or is he for real?"

"Let me handle this," said Shining Armour. He walked up to the Grunt. "Well, what can we do for you?" he asked coldly.

"Please... loosen my chains," the Grunt pleaded in a sobbing tone. "I will be most thankful to you if you can help me."

Suddenly, Shining Armour's horn lit up. He heard the voice of Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking to him telepathically. "This Grunt is legit," she said. "Behold, here is the power to loosen chains." Shining Armour felt much stronger upon hearing those words. Putting his horn on the chains, he tapped it three times, and the chains broke.

The Grunt slowly stood up. "Thank you ever so much," he said, tears in his eyes. "My name is Griflet. And who might you be, dear rescuers?"

The entire party, Shining Armour inclusive, were all so taken aback that they found no words to reply. They'd been fighting Grunts and Brutes all the while since they'd been imprisoned in the Vaults of Heaven. And they'd hence gotten a very bad impression of Grunts and Brutes. But here, for perhaps the first time ever, was a seemingly good-hearted Grunt, who did not for one minute think of attacking them, but rather spoke to them amiably!!!

"You're .... you're Griflet?" said Snips, finally breaking the silence. "Demoman's nephew?"

"Yes," replied Griflet. "That's me. And wait a minute -- are you not all the ponies of Equestria? Applejack, Big McIntosh, Braeburn, Derpy, Dumbbell, Flash Sentry, Rainbow Dash, Shining Armour, Snips, Snails, Soarin, and Thunderlane? And you, the sole human, are you not Don Alberto García? Uncle Tavish told me lots of stories about how you battled against many seemingly overwhelming odds and eventually became who you are today... I am really blessed that I can actually see you all face to face today. And I know you all are after something really important, that is why you have come here?"

"The Holy Grail," said Alberto. "I hear from your Uncle Tavish that you and your cousin tried to stop the Holy Grail's thief?"

"We did indeed," said Griflet. "Bedevere and I, I swear we gave it our all; but the thief, acting alone, was an expert at martial arts, it seems. He even had a gun in his hand, and fired it at me when I tried to physically throw myself on him. After I felt the gunfire, I screamed in pain, but my voice failed me -- and then for a minute I thought that I was dead.

"The next thing I knew, I was alone in a dark room, and upon looking in a mirror near one of the tables, I was astounded to see what my face had become. I called out for Bedevere but I don't think he heard me. I never saw him after that time. All that I got in reply was my echo, and a horde of monsters coming into the room, followed by a man. He held a whip in his hand and looked really fierce..."

"You're referring to Michael?" wondered Big McIntosh.

"Yes," said Griflet. "Michael Johann Valdez is a really mad guy. Possibly worse than insane. He whipped me soundly and ordered me to go and 'patrol the area' that he'd placed me in. I fought back and he was pissed. I told him I wanted to become who I am again. But Michael said that his 'medicine is permanent' and he threatened to kill me if I didn't obey him. I told him I did not fear death, I would willingly lay my life down for the cause of getting back at the thief of the Grail and avenging Bedevere.

"Michael was even more mad when he knew that I'd stuck to my guns strictly and would never back down. He had me chained up here in the Chapel. Before he left, he told me, 'You will see a new master tomorrow.' That was yesterday. He may be coming for me anytime today. But it's a good thing you saved me before he came! Now all I need, is someone to watch over me, so that he may not find or get me here.

There's a saying old says that love is blind,

Still we're often told "seek and you shall find";

So I'm going to seek a certain girl I've had in mind,

Looking everywhere haven't found her yet.

She's the big affair I cannot forget.

Only girl I ever think of with regret;

I'd like to add her initial to my monogram,

Tell me where is the shepherdess for this lost lamb?

There's a somepony I'm longing to see;

I hope that she turns out to be,

Someone who'll watch over me.

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood,

I know I could always be good,

To one who'll watch over me.

Although I may not be the man some girls think of as handsome,

To her heart I carry the key.

Won't you tell her please to put on some speed, follow my lead,

Oh, how I need someone who'll watch over me!

And so singing, Griflet broke down into tears. Dumbbell, moved to compassion, walked forward and let Griflet hug him and cry onto his mane and left wing.

"Don't cry, Griffy old pal," he said. "As long as we're here and you stick with us, we will be that someone to watch over you."

"As long as that's good, then that's OK," said Griflet, wiping his eyes with his right hand. "By the way, since you're after the Holy Grail -- can I join you?"

"Why, definitely! Goes without saying!" said Big McIntosh. "You can ride me, while Alberto rides Dumbbell."

"Good idea!" said Alberto. The other ponies neighed in approval.

"OK, here's the thing," said Griflet. "I've got some clues for you all. Michael has hidden the Grail in the Grail Vault, which is beyond the walls of the Chancel. The Grail Vault is openable only by whoever possesses the Bar Code, which is on a piece of paper which he apparently tore to shreds and scattered around the chapel, in the hope that no-one will ever find it. So it's now up to us to find the Bar Code and jigsaw it together."

"How do you know about this?" asked Big McIntosh.

"No time to talk," said Griflet. "We've got to search. There are three branches of this chapel; the Choir is to the left, the Transept to the right, and the Chancel in the centre. My suggestion is that we try the Transept first. Knowing that Michael keeps a lot of his documents inside some of the bibles in the pews therein, it's quite likely that he'd have hidden some of them there."

"Let's go there, then," said Braeburn.

The entire party, now including Griflet, went into the Transept. There were now fourteen of them, so covering the entire Transept was a lot easier. It was Thunderlane who found the first piece of barcode -- underneath the leg of a pew.

"Eureka!" cried Thunderlane. Everypony turned to look at him.

"Sh sh!" Griflet gently tapped Thunderlane on the wing with his left hand, the one with claws, taking great care not to hurt him (of course). "I know you found one piece, but not so loudly! You might arouse Michael's attention!"

"OK, OK," whispered Thunderlane.

"Anyone else found any more barcode pieces?" asked Alberto.

"No," said the others in turn.

"Let's go to the Choir then," said Griflet. "Be careful, there might be monsters."

* * *

Meanwhile, miles away in Hall 13 of the Radisson de la Paz in Bolivia, the "Università di Canterlot" was well under way under the co-leadership of Jovento Bajarán and Benedicto Guzmán. Both men were highly anxious about their bosses' disappearance on board the airline. The customers, totally unaware of Sean Brink's and Dario Perez's disappearance on board the flight, were still coming in and patronising the booths like they would a funfair; some of the rogue enterprise's top leaders, such as Natanaele Duarte and Beniamino Deakins, were either cosplaying or entertaining the customers if not both. Guzmán and Bajarán were seated on one side, drinking.

"It seems that the aeroplane somehow disappeared halfway across the Bermuda Triangle," said Guzmán, as he sipped on some tequila. "At least that's what the airport staff told me."

"The Bermuda Triangle? Caramba!" cried Bajarán. "Now they're not going to be able to find any trace of it!"

"One more thing," said Guzmán, looking severe. "Better not tell the others about it. Not now at least. As the General Manager and acting CEO in the absence of Sean and Dario, I don't want to spoil the festive mood."

"Apparently Michael emailed me," said Bajarán, "says he needs one of us to go and pick up some special delivery from his end, it's meant for us it seems."

"Ebben...." began Guzmán, hoping to send Bajarán to do this for him; but just then, Duarte approached them, clad in his Derpy cosplay costume; he didn't look very happy.

"Look at this," he said, showing the newspaper article to Guzmán and Bajarán. Now it was no longer a secret; it seemed like the press had gotten wind of the disappearance of Brink and Perez long before anyone else had!

"So.... what's your intention of showing me this?" said Guzmán, not amused.

But before Duarte could reply, a Minion came up to them and whispered something in Bajarán's ear.

"Oh, che l'orror!" cried Bajarán. "The prisoner! He's escaped!!!"

"Sh!" said Guzmán, his expression looking really severe. "Do not panic! The underground tunnels are very long and are guarded well by the two Ballistikrafts! If the Inca prince ever tries to escape on his own without OUR intervention, his goose will be cooked!"

"Benz is right, nothing to worry about regarding the escape of the Inca," said Duarte. "Just let him run to meet his maker face to face; he's most likely not going to be able to bypass two mega-robots that fire multiple heat-seeking missiles upon detection of his DNA in their vicinity. What's most concerning now is how our two bosses have disappeared and whether or not, heaven willing, they're still alive."

Aeron Vartan and Cinzia de los Angeles entered Hall 13 at the moment. "But weren't you both gaoled in Britain?" gasped Bajarán.

"We were, but thank goodness Cinzia here managed to use her most powerful magic to set both me and herself free," said Vartan. "Those bobbies in Scotland Yard are just fat and clumsy. They were no match for our escape."

"Very good that you're here," said Guzmán. "Now what we need you guys to do is simple: Can you fly to Russia and see Michael, por favor? He just emailed us, says he needs your help."

"But I think Sean told us that..." began Cinzia.

"Not about Sean, he's not here now, I'm in charge in his absence," said Guzmán. "You both, fly to St Petersburg now and go directly to the Vaults of Heaven. Michael needs your help. This is an order."

"Si, Benz," said Cinzia and Vartan in unison, before departing the scene immediately.

"So, Benz, what do we do about Sean and Dario?" asked Bajarán.

Guzmán shrugged. "Guess we've got to use our trump card now," he said. "Ascoltami, amigo. This is what we'll do..."

* * *

The Choir Area of the Chapel of Christ the King was a huge, dimly lit, echoey area which was shrouded in a mysterious mist. Bellowing of Brutes could be heard from all around.

"Talk only in whispers now!" ordered Griflet. "There are big monsters here who will get you if they hear you! The same way they got me when I called out for Bedevere after my capture!"

The party slowly wandered around, taking great care to not rouse any monster. There was completely no paper in this area; only a small (but very deep, probably bottomless) ditch that spanned the middle of the Choir and was bridged twice. On one side of one of the bridges, the silhouette of a Brute could be made out. There was a door on the other side from where the party was standing.

"Now we gotta cross the other bridge," said Griflet. "There is a door there. That's the room where the altar servers normally would prepare for Mass, during the pre-Soviet era before religion was banned in Russia. It's the only likely place any paper would be in here."

"AWWW!!" In the distance, a bellow was heard!!!

"Quick! Into the room!" ordered Griflet.

The entire party shot into the alter server room. No paper could be seen at first; the room was rather messy. But it was Braeburn who found another piece of ripped-up bar code paper -- while he was looking into a broken candlelabra holder.

"There ya go," he said, handing it to the others to have a look. Thunderlane, who had the first piece of barcode paper, put it with the second one like a jigsaw. Together these pieces made up about 5/6 of the entire bar code paper; only one more piece -- a corner -- was missing.

"All right!" said Alberto, sounding triumphant. "Now we've gotta find the final piece -- and I think it's in the Chancel!"

"Not so fast!" said Big McIntosh. "This area is big and misty! How do we know we haven't combed it entirely yet?"

"Just follow me," said Griflet. "Be careful when stepping out back into the Nave. We don't want to rouse any more monsters!"

The party exited the altar server room and were halfway across the bridge going back when another Brute suddenly came ambling towards them from behind!!

"Don't look back!" whispered Griflet. "Just keep moving! If he gets too close, I'll take care of him myself!"

The ponies found it hard to walk quietly (thanks to their noisy hooves), but led by Alberto, they just managed to make it to the Choir door and exit back into the Nave. Griflet, at the back of the party, turned around to face the oncoming Brute; summoning his entire strength, he used his left arm and whacked the Brute dead in four hits, before rushing out to join the others in the Nave.

* * *

During this time, Michael Valdez and Cheese Sandwich were coming into the Nave, hoping to get Griflet unchained. Michael had just received a reply email from Jovento Bajarán, stating that Cinzia de los Angeles and Aeron Vartan "will be down shortly".

"Gotta get Griflet ready to send over to Bolivia," said Michael; "the delivery people vill be here soon."

"Master, I think Griflet isn't there," said Cheese Sandwich, indicating towards the statue of the Virgin Mary, which was empty, and the chains broken. Michael was livid.

"Himmel! Ze prisoners have rescued Griflet! Raise ze alarm! NOW!!" ordered Michael. "Go get ze Grunt army en garde!"

"OK!" said Cheese Sandwich, as he darted off to the security office of the Vaults of Heaven...

* * *

Griflet just managed to kill the Brute but not without grazing his right arm a little. Nevertheless he was still as alive as could be; he rejoined Alberto and the Twelve, who were relieved to see their new friend alive after the showdown with the Brute.

"Now we gotta be careful when entering the Chancel," said Alberto.

"You OK, Griffy?" asked Shining Armour.

"I'm cool, thanks," said Griflet; "that asshole only managed to lacerate me a little on my right forearm. That's nothing to me."

The Chancel's entrance was a staircase leading upwards. The party slowly walked up, and suddenly -- "GRRRR!!!" In came an army of Grunts, ambushing the entire party, who were unable to fight back because they were truly and properly surrounded!!!

"GRRR! So you want to get the Holy Grail, do you not?" growled the Grunt sergeant. "You'll have to get us first! Fellow Grunts, take the prisoners away!"

Overcome by exhaustion and fear, Alberto passed out.....