Author's Note

Sorry to all AJ fans- You know what?
I REGRET NOTHING READ THE CHAPTER

Applejack likes to buck trees. And ponies.

"Um, I'm Kyle." He looked at Applejack, then to the forest, then back again. "How did you do that?" The farm pony frowned.

"What do ya mean? I saved yer sorry tail, that's fer sure." The stallion shook his head.

"No, I mean how did you scare off those, things?" he gestured to the woods behind them. AJ kept her confused face on.

"Well, I just rammed him, that's all." she explained. "I was also pretty noisy. They hate it when yer loud." She beamed and started to walk in the other direction. Kyle stepped forward.

"Wait, so you're going to leave me here?" He called after her. "I'm like, nine years old!" The orange mare stopped and looked back at him like he was Adolf Hitler or something.

"What the hay are you talkin' bout'?" she asked. "You look to be about seventeen!" The stallion was appalled. He looked himself over, and found his legs were strangely long, and his hat was tight on his head. Then again, he had no idea how to tell the age differences in these girly cartoon horses. For all he knew, the one in front of him could be four.

"Well, how old are you?" he asked hopefully. Maybe I can get a reference or something? Unfortunately, it was to no avail. Applejack wrinkled her nose in disbelief, glaring at him.

"You know you should never ask a lady her age!" she snapped. Anger changed to passion, as her face softened before letting off a smirk. "Luckily for you, Ah aint' no fancy mare." Kyle sighed. Wait, why do I need to know this? She trotted back over to him and leaned closer, checking to see if anyone was around. The coast was clear. She grinned cupped her hoof to his ear.

"Ah won't tell you ma exact age," she whispered. "But ah will inform ya that ah'm over eighteen..." she backed up with a sly smile plastered across her face. The stallion raised an eyebrow. What the fuck is going on? AJ bit her bottom lip and winked, sashaying around him. Kyle started to feel uncomfortable, and broke into a hard sweat. I don't like where this is going...

"If ya like, ah can show ya 'round the barn," she sighed in a flirty tone, stroking his chest with her hoof. "There's this special little spot ah always, "buck" around in." The orange mare pressed herself against the nervous colt, and started to nibble on his ear. Kyle's eyes widened, realizing what she meant. With a yelp he quickly shoved her off, and began to back away from farm pony.

"Oh, shit," He watched as Applejack advanced towards him, pouting.

"Come on, now, don't be like that!" she had a crazed look in her eyes, a want, a NEED. This scared the poor boy out of his jimmies.

"It's the least you could do for me after ah saved yer life!" Kyle shook his head in terror. Oh god, what the hell is wrong with her!? Without hesitation, he turned tail and raced away, but not before giving the pony in heat something to remember him by.

"FUCK NO!" He screeched and ran down the hill, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his teeth.

The astonished orange mare stared at him in silence as he galloped into town, disappearing into the mass of buildings. What the hay does, "fuck" mean? She shrugged and headed in the opposite direction, back to Sweet Apple Acres.

"Oh well, better luck next time," she murmured, hanging her head. "I'll just get Big Mac to do it. Again."

Kyle panted as he tried to catch his breath. That, was, horrifying. I hope nobody else is like that. He groaned, regained his composure and looked around, admiring the small little town. He began to walk along the road, watching as ponies did their business with others. Hey, this place is a lot like South Park! Man, I really miss that place. All my friends and family are there. Mom, Dad, Ike, Kenny, Stan, Cart-

He stopped and shook his head. Nah, screw Cartman, he would probably hate it here. Everyone is too nice, communicating and acting kind towards one another. Chatting with friends, buying groceries. His stomach growled at the thought of food. Where can I get a decent meal? He trotted over to a nearby fruit stand, his mouth watering at the juicy crops. A yellow unicorn came up behind him, giving the stallion the scare of his life. He jumped and let the her pass.

The mare picked up an apple and placed a small coin on the counter, before leaving with a gracious smile. Wait a minute, is that, GOLD?! Kyle whooped for joy and dove for the token, only to have his face meet the hard surface. He rubbed his forehead and groggily looked up, to see the sales pony glaring at him. He blushed and slinked away, the mare's eyes burning into the back of his neck.

Deprived of food, the Earth pony searched hungrily for something to eat. Couples scattered the streets, sharing smoothies or popping chocolates into each other's mouths. He groaned, for now he desperately wanted something sweet.

His prayers were answered, when he came across a giant gingerbread house. He licked his lips and approached the giant treat, eager to dig in. He examined the crispy brown walls, inhaling the delectable aroma. He opened his mouth wide and chomped down hard, feeling the taste of wood slide down his throat. He gagged and spat out the disgusting plank, coughing up pieces.

"Hey!" a high pitched voice sounded behind him. Kyle turned to see a pink mare with an afro thing looking at him in confusion.

"What the hay are you DOING!?"