drunken karaoke is the only way to karaoke
Author's Note
I would have liked to put up a better quality first piece. Comments and criticism are welcome.
drunken karaoke is the only way to karaoke
"Barkeep! Another round for my companions and I!" Luna shouted above the noise in the club. The royal sisters had decided to have a small party to celebrate Twilight's coronation with only the other element bearers, and themselves in attendance at Twilights tree house. That plan had only lasted until the second round of drinks. Now the princess of the night stood at a bar in the only club in Ponyville ordering round eight. The bartender slid a tray of drinks in front of the princess and she quickly made her way back to their private room, only stumbling a few times but never spilling anything.
"We hath returned bearing libations!" Luna boomed as she entered the room with a bit more force than necessary and slipping back into old equestrian as her blood alcohol level rose. The mares inside didn’t mind however and let out a drunken cheer at the fresh drinks. Rarity accepted her cosmopolitan with a polite nod. Fluttershy took her glass of wine with a quiet thank you that was drowned out by the din. Pinkie Pie bounced happily as she took her mojito, somehow keeping it all in the cup. Applejack and Rainbow Dash both had a glass of whiskey placed in front of them. They had somehow managed to turn a night out with friends into a competition when AJ made a comment about Rainbow not being able to hold her liquor when the later had grabbed the wrong drink. It escalated quickly from there.
"Your Highness, the brandy thou hast requested" Luna said with excessive formality as she passed Twilight her beverage of choice and bowed slightly.
“Thank… I don’t … you… what...”
Luna’s expression quickly cracked into one of mirth as she and everypony else at the table broke into a fit of giggles as Twilight attempted to stammer out a response.
“Luna you shouldn’t tease Twilight so, she could turn you into a newt now,” Celestia paused before smirking “and I might let her get away with it.” She quickly joined the other ponies in their laughter which had redoubled.
Suddenly Pinkie stopped mid giggle and pointed at the small stage at the front of the room “Girls, they just got the karaoke machine running again!” she gasped as the lights on the large machine began to blink to life. She dashed up to the stage and began looking through what music was available while everypony else collected themselves and waited to watch drunken ponies attempt to sing.
Pinkie finally settled on a song and she cranked the volume as upbeat guitar blasted out of the speakers. Pinkie bounced merrily around the room singing silly and slightly slurred syllables into the sensitive sound system. The rest of the girls cheered for their friend as she belted out lyrics with an enthusiasm that can only be achieved by someone who has spent the night drinking with friends. When her song ended she bounced back to the table and after finishing off the remainder of her drink began encouraging the rest of the group to give it a try. Surprisingly, Celestia was the first to rise.
“I believe I’ll try my hoof at this though I haven’t sung with an audience in a long while.” She proceeded to make her way to the stage and after a few moment of looking smiled and made her selection. As the music started she began humming along before bringing the microphone up and singing.
"I’m walking on sunshine, whoa oh
And don’t it feel good!”
Twilight sat at the table in stunned silence as her mentor and idol stood before her drunkenly singing a pop song. Her poor alcohol muddled brain could not process this, so she simply sat there and stared while Luna laughed merrily next to her and cheered her sister on. Her song over, Celestia returned to the table giggling.
“Oh, it has been far too long since I’ve gotten to sing it’s nice to know I still can.”
“Barely” Luna quipped “mayhap we shall show thee how it is done.” She rose and teetered over to the machine. She clapped her hooves together and let out a foalish giggle before steadying herself as a haunting piano melody drifted out of the speakers.
"Don't let them in
don't let them see
be the good mare you always have to be
conceal don't feel"
While not as energetic as the other songs, Luna’s singing voice made up for it providing everypony many reasons to laugh as the night princess drunkenly stumbled through her chosen song. Her sister however was less than amused and glared at Luna once she finally made her way down from the stage.
“You chose that song just because I hate it didn’t you” she whispered angrily at her little sister.
“Tia! You know we wouldn’t do something like that” however as she spoke Rainbow Dash took a sip of her whiskey and made a face that caused Luna to burst into a fit of giggles, ruining the credibility of her defense.
“Oh it is on.” Celestia stood angrily and strode her way to the stage before selecting a song she knew her sister despised.
“Yo listen up
Here’s the story about a little mare that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything she sees is just blue like her
Inside and outside Blue her house with a blue little window and a blue carriage
And everything is blue for her and herself
Celestia stared at her sister as she sang, never breaking eye contact just to drive home her point.
“Tiaaaa, thou didst promise never to bring up this song again” Luna whined dropping her head on the table and impaling the poor piece of furniture in the process. Once finished with the music Celestia stepped down from her performance wearing a smug grin. She trotted back to the table happily thinking that their game was over. Luna, however, having heard the deplorable song come to an end had a different idea. Tugging her horn from the table she quickly threw back the two remaining shots and rose as her sister returned.
“If it is a challenge thou wisheth than that is what thou shalt receive. Have at thee, dear sister.”
The bearers of the elements of harmony, defenders of Equestria, the group that stopped Nightmare Moon and defeated Discord quickly realized that they were suddenly involved in a situation they were woefully unprepared to face, sibling rivalry. This did not stop them, however, from sitting on the sidelines and giggling at the antics that were sure to unfold. Except for Fluttershy, she just wore a small smile that was only slightly less caring than her usual one. Also Twilight, she had yet to fully recover from witnessing her dear teacher, surrogate mother, and eldest princess of Equestria dancing around and singing something that she, personally, didn’t even consider music. No really, I think she was starting to drool.
Luna stomped to the stage and flipped through the music until she found her opening volley. Marilyn Manesons “You’re so vain”.
“Perfect” she muttered to herself “this shall show her that we are not to be trifled with.”
“You walked into the party like you owned Canterlot
Your crown strategically dipped below one eye"
A flurry of gasps went up from the younger mares as they recognized Luna’s ploy with the song and five sets of eyes went from the alicorn on stage to the one in her seat, waiting to see her reaction as Luna continued to sing.
"Youre so vain, you probably think this song is about you"
Celestia gasped at the song both because she was not a fan of the new ‘rock and roll’ foals were so into these days and because of the song itself. This two pronged barb was, of course, exactly what Luna had been planning and she began racking her brain to come up with a way to return fire.
As soon as Luna finished wearing a satisfied smirk Celestia was at the machine hoping they had the song she wanted but not before shooting her sister a scathing glance. Fortune smiled on her as they did have the song and, though she wasn’t a fan of the band, she knew it would work well for her purposes though she would have to pay extra attention to the scrolling lyrics.
As the twangy notes of guitar once again filled the room Celestia shot her sister a glare that would have made a grown dragon cower. Luna simply sat there with a knowing smile on her lips and another empty shot floating in front of her.
“I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way."
"Well, damn." Luna’s smile drooped as she listened to her sister sing and for a brief moment Celestia wondered if she had taken things too far. She reminded herself that Luna had started this little battle and continued on, only stumbling on a few parts of the relatively unfamiliar song. She was not alone in her musings however as several of the girls noticed Luna’s expression falter as her sister sung though she was quickly smiling again every time her sister missed a line or sang out of key.
Once finished, Celestia stepped down expecting her sister to admit her defeat but was met with a stern glare instead.
“We had hoped thou wouldst not force our hoof in this matter sister, but clearly the foal shoes are off” Luna said icily.
She approached the machine and flipped back to a song she had taken note of previously but had deemed to high caliber to use. Her sister’s most recent act had upped the game however so she would return fire with everything she could muster. She pressed play and quickly grabbed the mic, not having much time before the lyrics of her chosen weapon began.
“Are you gonna take me home tonight
on down beside that red fire light
are you gonna let it all hang out
fat bottomed mares you make the rocking world go round”
Celestia's mouth fell open and her hooves went limp. This was it, she couldn’t top it. Her sister had fired the equivalent of a nuclear party cannon on their little game. As her sister finished her final song Celestia got up and approached, judging by the wary look her sister suddenly wore Celestia figured that Luna hadn’t expected her to have anything left in her arsenal of songs. She was correct but Tia briefly allowed herself to enjoy the look before she spoke.
“Well played sister! I concede my defeat to you” she wrapped her wings around her sister in a tight hug to ensure their game was just that and that no hard feelings remained. It was happily returned by the younger alicorn.
“Thou were warned dear sister, we are not an easy foe to do battle against” Luna smiled both at her victory and the odd bonding with her sister. Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all grinned and congratulated Luna while assuring Celestia that she would do better next time. Rainbow Dash simply snored quietly as she lay passed out against the orange farm pony who now sat next to her while Twilight was just coming out of her stupor.
“Well girls as much fun as this was I believe we should call it a night” the solar monarch declared “I at least have to be up before dawn.” This earned a chorus of hooves slapping faces as everypony voiced their dislike of the terrible joke, even the wobbling Luna found no humor in it.
“Really Tia? That jest twern’t funny upon its conception let alone a millennia hence” Luna groaned, rubbing the base of her horn with a hoof. “Alas, my sister speaks true. I too desire rest as I was not able to do so this past day.” As they all left the club and the girls headed towards their homes, Applejack carrying a particular passed out pegasus Luna bade them all a good night and thanked them for the time spent together. Once their little ponies were safely on their way Celestia summoned up her magic and teleported them both to Luna’s room in Canterlot.
“Thank you sister, it was good to spend time with our friends again. ‘Tis a simple pleasure that we do not enjoy often enough.”
“Oh Luna, if you got out of your tower for more than snack runs and Night court you could find more friends right here in Canterlot” Celestia wrapped a wing around her younger sister, ”Come on. Let’s get you in bed so I don’t have to move two heavenly bodies in the morning.” Luna slowly and unsteadily crawled into her bed with no small amount of help from her sister.
“Tia you don’t hate me for that song right?” Luna asked in a small voice as she drifted towards unconsciousness.
“No Lulu, I could never hate you. You know that.” Celestia smiled lovingly at her sister and wrapped her wings around her in another hug.
“That’s good.” Suddenly Luna’s eyes shot open “Tia” she spoke in a loud whisper.
“Yes Lulu?”
“I think I drank too much” was the reply from the bed, seconds before the younger alicorn got sick much to the dismay to her sister who still had her wrapped in a hug.
