Elementary, My Dear Twilight

by forevertheDoctor

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1668

"Pinkie, this has gone too far. Pinkie, no. PINKIE. Stop. ...I'M NOT WATSON!

Equestria is a land shrouded in mystery. The fogs of crime and murder have rolled in, and it's up to Pinkamena "Sherlock" Diane Pie, and Twilight "Watson" Sparkle to solve the crimes and catch the killers before it's too late. Twilight agrees to play along with Pinkie's insane fantasies, but has she been pulled into a game much bigger than she can fathom?

(Rated teen for mild language, poorly timed Sherlock quotes, and (spoiler alert) MURDER)

Published 2014-05-11 23:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-17 12:46:54 UTC

Let the Games Begin!

It was a normal day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the bees were buzzing, and Princess Twilight Sparkle was reading in her brand new crystal tree library. Her pet owl was sleeping on a perch while Spike ran about running errands. Twilight looked around in delight of her new library. While she missed the comforting ambiance of her old tree home, she was ecstatic about this new library. What was quite strange though, was that there was a completely different section of books. These books were quite different than normal books. They included myths and folklore from an entirely different civilization. How they got there, she didn't know, perhaps the new and improved crystal tree updated it's own archives? All she knew was that she took it upon herself to read the ancient books, and the queer part was, the writing was not that much different from pony writing techniques! The descriptive writing and the good old different genres they used were incredible. It had taken Twilight a while, but she suddenly realized that these books were written by humans! She did not believe that these humans were from the parallel universe she had encountered, but humans from a completely different dimension! Twilight still knew very little about humans, but she could still slightly understand their literature. She had just finished a book titled "The Hunger Games" a book in which humans, the dominant species, pitted their youth against each other in a fight to the death! Such imaginations these humans possessed!

"Hey, Twilight! You've been reading ALL week! C'mon, Twi! I'm sure your friends would love to spend some time with you." said her dragon assistant, Spike. Twilight waved a hoof dismissively.

"In a minute, Spike. Just...er...just ONE more book, ok?!" said Twilight, laughing nervously. Spike rolled his reptilian eyes and waddled off. Twilight returned her attention to the shelf. She headed towards the left of the shelf where it seemed the more classic books were kept. Using her magic, she pulled out a random book, hoping to be surprised. She opened her eyes and looked at the dusty, worn cover. She could barely make out the author's name, but she thought it was...

"Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

Pinkie Pie was sulking in the attic of Sugar Cube Corner. She had developed an amusing game where she would toss a rubber ball at her wall, wait for it to bounce, and catch it in her mouth. Very fun. Very, very, amusing. Pinkie gritted her teeth and slammed the ball on the floor.

"BORED!" Pinkie exclaimed. She sighed.

"Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are spending the remainder of the weekend in Cloudsdale, Rarity is checking on Coco Pommel in Manehattan, Applejack is delivering pies, the Cakes and their kids are on vacation and I haven't had a single order ALL WEEK and I have NOPONY to talk to!" Pinkie Pie said to herself in despair. She turned to see her alligator, Gummy, staring vacantly at her. Pinkie's expression softened.

"No, I'm happy to be with you, Gummy. It's just...not the same." said Pinkie as her ears drooped. Suddenly, Pinkie's face lit up.

"Oh! I know! I'll check on Twilight! She hasn't come out of that library AAAAALLL week! I'd better check on her to make sure she's ok!" said Pinkie. She gave Gummy a salute and jumped out the window.

Twilight was curled up in the corner, her nose buried in the book she had found by Arthur Conan Doyle. Huh. Strange name. The book itself was quite compelling. Suddenly, a high pitched voice broke her concentration.

"Hiya Twily! Watcha readin'?!" asked Pinkie, who was currently sticking her head through Twilight's new fireplace. Twilight gave Pinkie a strange look, and Pinkie wiggled her way through the fireplace. Twilight sighed.

"Well, this new library has a strange section in it, which includes novels written by humans!" said Twilight. Pinkie cocked her head, giving her friend a quizzical look.

"Humans? You mean those weird alien things you made friends with through the Mirror Pool?" asked Pinkie Pie. Twilight nodded, and showed Pinkie the hard covered book.

"Take this book for example." said Twilight. Pinkie inspected the book.

"Sherlock Holmes? What's that?" asked Pinkie. Twilight pondered how to explain it.

"Oh! Do you remember on the train, when somepony ate your cake, and we solved the mystery together?" asked the lavender alicorn. Pinkie nodded. How could she forget that? Twilight grinned.

"Well, Sherlock and his companion Watson solve mysteries like that, but on a larger scale. They solved legitimate crimes and murders." said Twilight. Pinkie's eyes widened.

"WOWIE! That sounds AMAAAAAZING! Ooh, ooh! Can I read it?! PleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE?!" asked Pinkie, batting her lashes. Twilight looked at the book, then back to Pinkie's excited face.

"I don't know Pinkie...the stories are really complex...not to mention all the strange human terminology." said Twilight. Pinkie's eyes grew big an she leaned towards Twilight, pleading.

"Oh Twilight, PLEASE?! I'll understand, really, I will!" said Pinkie. Twilight gave her friend a skeptical look.

"I don't know Pinkie, this book is super duper rare and precious...I can't afford anything bad happening to it!" said Twilight. Pinkie gave Twilight an intense look, trying to give herself an air of authority. She did the motions of a Pinkie Promise.

"I'll be super duper careful with it, I promise! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" said Pinkie. Twilight smiled, content. She knew Pinkie Pie would never EVER break a Pinkie Promise. Twilight nodded.

"Ok, ok. I trust you. Here, if you don't understand anything, I can try to help." said Twilight. She levitated the book into Pinkie's saddle bags. Pinkie let out a 'squee' of delight and ran out of the library. Twilight gave a little half smile. Pinkie would never have an attention span large enough to fully enjoy a Sherlock Holmes book. Twilight could barely understand it herself!

Pinkie ran back up to the attic of Sugar Cube corner, threw a blanket over herself and let her muzzle dive into the book. She stared at the text with dire concentration, licking her lips and tracing her hoof across the page. Her eyes went big.

"Woah! I...actually GET this!" said Pinkie. She put a hoof against her chin.

"I mean, they DO use strange words...like 'somebody' instead of 'somepony' or 'hand' instead of 'hoof'. Huh. But I understand where they're going with this. And I have to say, even though 'Sherlock' is a strange name it DOES have a cute ring to it." said Pinkie. Her eyes landed back on the pages, and little by little they began to turn. She remained in her curled up position, reading in silence. Silence. Such a strange word for Pinkie. As the moon rose, Pinkie gently closed the book. She sat there for a bit, processing the information.

"This book, I like it." said Pinkie. She gently put the book in her saddle bag and looked to the heavens.

"ANOTHER!" shouted Pinkie. Gummy stared at her blankly. Pinkie glared at him.

"Now don't give me that look." said Pinkie as she crawled into her bed.

Her dreams were filled with mysteries.

Twilight Sparkle was skimming through her new section of books, desperately looking for something good to read. She had recently read a book titled 'Twilight.' She thought it was about her. She was wrong. She did what any pony with common sense would do. She burned it. Twilight sighed. That's enough 'human literature' for a little bit. Suddenly, she heard a high pitched voice screaming at her.

"ANOTHER!!!!" screamed the voice.

"Gah!" Twilight jumped. She sighed when she realized it was just her friend, Pinkie.

"So, I presume the book was too complex for you?" asked Twilight. Pinkie shook her head.

"Nope! I finished it!" said Pinkie. Twilight's eyes widened.

"Wh-wha?! Th-that's impossible!" Twilight stuttered. She barely got half way through the book before Pinkie had visited her! There was no way Pinkie could have finished it in a half day!

"N-no, Pinkie Pie, you see, SKIMMING is not the same thing as READING." said Twilight. Pinkie nodded.

"Well, duh! I didn't SKIM it! I READ it!" said Pinkie. Twilight looked at her, dumbfounded. Pinkie took the book out of her saddle bag and place it on the floor in front of Twilight.

"There we go. Safe and sound. I NEVER break a Pinkie Promise!" said Pinkie. Twilight simply stood there, staring at her stupidly. Pinkie trotted over to the large shelf.

"Soooo where's the next one?" asked Pinkie. Twilight shook her head.

"That was the only Sherlock Holmes book, Pinkie. I looked. There are no other books on the shelf by Arthur Conan Doyle." said Twilight. Pinkie's eyes went wide with horror.

"Wh-what?! No way. That CAN'T be right! What am I gonna DOOOOOO?!?!" Pinkie cried out. Twilight's logic had been switched back on and she wrapped a comforting hoof around her friend.

"There, there. I know how sad it is when a good series ends." said Twilight.

"But what am I gonna DO?!" asked Pinkie. Twilight pondered this. Suddenly, her eyes lit up.

"Why don't you solve a REAL mystery?" asked Twilight. Pinkie gasped. What a great idea!

"That's genius, Twilight! BUUUUT...." Pinkie smirked. Twilight cocked her head.

"But what?" asked Twilight.

"I can't do this alone, Twilight. Or should I say...WATSON." said Pinkie. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Pinkie, no." said Twilight. Pinkie pouted.

"Oh come on! If we're going to solve a mystery, we need to do it right!" said Pinkie. Twilight groaned. But there was a small part of her that thought it might be fun if she played along. She sighed.

"Fine. I'll be your 'Watson'" said Twilight. Pinkie squealed and jumped in the air. Then she stopped, put her most strict face on, getting into character. Her eyes narrowed.

"The game is on!"

Author's Note

Well then. This is gonna be a truly awful story. Who's ready?!