*Facehoof*
Trollolgue: The Fifth Wall
Yo Maxy, I'mma let you finish, but Celestia is one of the greatest trolls of all time!
Yo Pinkie, I'mma let you finish, but The Coolaid Guy is the greatest wall breaker of all time, All Time... Meaning FOOOREEVVEER!!?!!
oh, ok then...
Trollologue: Da Fifth Wall
Definition: Fifth Wall: The barrier that separates observation and communication from direct physical interaction.
Ancient Bronese Bronyverb: To turn ones evil banished sister back into your childhood buddy, one must faust become a troll.
Dearest bronythern,
I write to you today to tell the story of how I obtained the knowledge necessary to bring luna back to the light. It was no easy task, faust I forayed past the forth wall into your "internets". (later on past the fifth wall) On my first expeditions I was only able to lurk. This brought me to 4chan...
Paralyzed by clopifying horror I almost was unable to lurk more. However the battle between longcat and tacgnol caught my attention as I was passing through the metaphysical door. The similarities drove me to lolified obsession. Rapidash-idly I went beyond observational status only and enter all your base directly. My first direct interaction ended with my earthly form stuck in a hole in the ground; forcing me back into lurking, generally i was watching you perform uncouth activities. I later learnt this degrading exercise was referred to, in your free and uncensored earths "interwebz" as fapping, more commonly known to everypony as clopping.
After that less than heartwarming experiance i was about to hang up my horseshoes and call it a sunset when out of nowhere appeared a wild Pedobear appeared. Of course I casually used pepperspray everything cop, which, sadly does not affect pedobear. Forcing me to resort to other memes.
After a terrible and violent battle and one of YuGiOh abridged(tm) own, yami's trademark mindcrushes later... pedobear fainted, but only after i convinced him to leave Britney alone. After all shes only human. (personally i think that if she was a pony she wouldnt have so many obsessive "haters gonna hate" trolliphiles.)
After such a such a stupendous feat i was extremely tired. I fell asleep while lurking a seemingly innocent thread about something involving the night sky shooting in through the stars like airplanes, but i was too tired to really make sense of it. I dreamt a rather moondane dream when inception hit me like a ton of bricks, exactly the moment I first saw it. The only way to escape was to burn the entire world to the ground, I burnt it all to embers and ashes, flames surrounded me on all sides. At the last second I awoke in the cold sweats. I awoke still surrounded by torturous flames. At first I was like ?(. But then I was like :,( But finally I was like :) I Bucking Love Flame Wars!!
The molestation was so intense I almost lost control, right at the edge somepony handed me the phone saying, "Cocaine Bear called, he wants his catch phrase back."
Needless to say i derped so hard that derpy hooves eyes actually went strait!
At this point I was burnt out, so to speak. And Had I decided to have been so look like anypony ever decided far to go. I might have gone further than anypony ever looked like more decided. But instead I wanted more look like farther than decided to go.
Which got me absolutely nowheres.
Having out memed everyponies base into mordor while walking.
Now being the most interesting pony in the world, i'd just like to take a minute , just sit right there anons, while i tell you the tail of how i became the faust princess of /// All Hail The... Go ponify all the memes!!
My time is running short, (also I'm running out of flim and flams patented super seedly, very cheezy mystical M theory compatible ink: hard to come by because it requires: phenix ash, Unicorn horn, Pegasus feathers, Zap apple cider, Sea serpent mustache, Dragon scales and teeth, Ursa major blood, Moon dust, Chocolate rain, Griffon jerky (curtesy of Pinkie Pie) and the hardest to obtain, Orphan tears. All blended together with twin alicorn magic.
Yeah life can be like that when you haven't yet been assimilated to the herd.
Since luna return and The disaster that i just "accidentally" me to Discord in order just one of the ingredients. Is that bad?
This is likely the first last and only time anyone from our world will be communicating directly with any of My Little Bronies out there.
I leave you with a few wise last words.
I don't always troll everypony,
But when I do it for the lulz...
Your most sincere princess,
The artist formerly known as Trollestia, who in turn was formerly know as Celestia, formerly known as molestia, formerly known as the artist not formerly known as the knights who don't not say peng, nee-wom and do cant not say ni.
Before all that my close intellectual friends got to call me TC.
'top cat the indisputable princess of the sun..."
But you can call me Tia
Ps: I don't always herp but when I do I... Yeah you get the idea
)(/ TSIFORB
?DAM U
Pps: if you still dont believe I, the regal Princess Celestia, am the most super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing troll evar...
Remember Robert Paterson...
THAT. WAS. ME.
:8| *Sweet Mother of Celestia, what in the faust have you done o.0*
MUWAHAGAHA!!!!
Pinkie pie: hi ya celestia, what cha doin'? Wait i know! You just so filly, you dont need special ink to break the fourth wall. You just need to be th-"
Trixie: "-Great and powerful trixie!!"
Pinkie: "hey, not real-cheater-fakiepants i was talking! This Trixie looks photoshoped."
Tia: "how can you tell pinkamenia?"
Pinkie: "well... To qoute the age old proverb...
THIS LOOKS SHOPPED / I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME.”
Tia: "Is it that obvious? I feel so befuddled. This trixie looks so real."
Pinkie: "no you silly-filly im just being pinkie pie."
Cats: "all you-"
Pinkie: "ALL MY base Are belong to me!"
Cats: "all our nothingz are to do here" *queue sound of rawring jet packs*
Not a single fuck was give- OMG i just realized that rainbow dash must secretly be the final boss of the internet!!!!
Pinkie: "oh hi ya maxy, you expectin' us on may 19th 2013? Cuz if I i were me... Oh wait i am me!"
*celestia leaves... Ya know. To do sun raisingings and other princessy stuff like that.*
So pinkie... You still coming over on saturday for some of my own home jello?
Pinkie: "im way too super busy on saturday. Being an actress, the camera pony and scripwriter is really really superduper lots of work. Thank faust that God taught me that whole bilocat- no triplication trick. The world is so much awesome super fun when you can be in three places at once. At first it was really tough to keep everypony from figuring out my superamazingness out."
Cool story bro...-neigh
Sooo... Whatcha gonna do with celestia now that she knows you can break the fourth wall.
Pinkie: " celestia must be a super unlucky pony because my pinkie sense says her number isn't up."
Looks like we're here...
Pinkie: " Wow that took FOOOREEVVVVEERRRRRR!!! The speed of light must be slow today or something..."
Um pinkie... Oh yeah PINKIE PIE.... Never mind...
Pinkie: " Youtube, the source of my eternal quest. A supertremenduslyenormous quest to educate the supidurpyfailtrolls on the interwebs the truth. Someone is wrong on the internet, I. MUST.FIX.THIS.FOR. I.AM.SCIENCE... Oh wait thats derpy's catchphrase. For i am physics... Now that Really doesnt work. Hmmm there is is no not any non possible ways to not never definitely make this goodysupersillyness sound right. Now if only... Cupcakes!!1"