No doubt news about the part he played in Tirek’s quest to steal all of the ponies’ powers - their magic, their flight, their strength - would spread throughout all of Equestria. And while he had ultimately ended up helping Twilight and the others defeat Tirek, no pony would ever forget his initial betrayal. He wouldn’t be surprised if more than a few still hated him for it.
But he didn’t really care about that right now. In fact, he probably deserved it. But there was only one pony’s opinion that really mattered to him.
"…Fluttershy."
The Pegasus gasped, spinning around at the sound of his voice. “Discord?”
After things settled down following Tirek’s defeat, everypony had returned to their respective homes to rest for a bit. And Discord had slipped away to follow Fluttershy, because it was the only chance he would get to speak to her alone before the group returned to Twilight’s new castle to explore it.
And it was the first time he had been alone with her since the whole mess began.
But now that they were here - standing inside Fluttershy’s cottage, the very place where she had first declared him her friend - he had no idea what to say.
What could he say to her, that he hadn’t already said?
Rubbing the back of his neck with his lion paw, he found himself hesitating as Fluttershy watched him with her wide blue eyes. “I-I - “
"I’m sorry," Fluttershy said suddenly.
If he hadn’t been at a loss for words before, he definitely would have been after that. “You’re sorry?” he echoed, dumbfounded.
She simply nodded, her hoof shuffling against the carpet as she glanced away.
Discord could only stare at her for a moment. He knew Fluttershy could be rather apologetic, but this was too much. “What on Earth for?”
"I…" She sighed, her ears folding back against her head. "I never realized how…how hard it must have been for you…"
He frowned, still not sure what she was talking about. “My dear, you’re not making any sense - “
"Being reformed," she clarified. "Being good."
…Oh. That.
When he didn’t say anything, she looked up at him, her eyes suddenly misted over. “Was it really terrible for you, being good? Were…you really so unhappy?”
He froze, though whether from the sight of her on the verge of tears or the question she was asking, he wasn’t sure. Being good certainly hadn’t been quite as much fun as being evil, but…it hadn’t been so bad.
Being with Fluttershy had made it worthwhile.
"Well…no,” he finally managed to say. Somehow, finding the right words was proving a bit of a challenge. “I wouldn’t say that, exactly…but - “
"But…it hasn’t been easy," she guessed - correctly - what he was going to say. She shook her head a little, sitting on the floor. "Being friends is about being yourself, but…asking you to change so much, and so suddenly…I guess we haven’t really let you be yourself.”
He gave a small, thoughtful noise. “I suppose not,” he replied as noncommittally as he could. But he couldn’t help wondering where she was going with this. “To be fair, though, I’ve heard friendship is supposed to help you to be better than you are…and allowing me to be myself probably wouldn’t be the best thing in the world.”
Fluttershy glanced away, and he could almost see the gears of her mind turning as she thought. “Th…That’s…not necessarily true. Friendship does encourage you to be the best you can be…but…you should still be true to yourself.”
Discord studied her, a little puzzled. Why was she saying this? “Somehow, I don’t think anypony else would prefer I stay true to the ‘master of chaos’ bit.”
Rising to her feet, she smiled; it was small and, if he might say so, a bit shaky, but it was a smile all the same. “Maybe…Maybe you could…cause a little chaos, now and then?”
He blinked in surprise, unable to believe what he was hearing. “You…want me to cause chaos?”
She nodded, that small smile still on her face. “It…is who you are, after all. I-It…doesn’t have to be a lot. And as long as it doesn’t hurt anypony, it should…be all right…right?”
As long as it doesn’t hurt anypony. His magic had never quite been used that way before. Chaos and pain seemed to go hand in hand too often to separate them.
"I…don’t know how to do that," he admitted softly.
"W-Well…Rainbow Dash and Pinkie play pranks on other ponies…and those are always…pretty harmless. M-Maybe you could try that?"
He gaped at her; sure Fluttershy was used to his antics, but…was she really trying to encourage him to cause chaos to the masses?
"I’m…not quite sure that would be a good idea." In fact, he was quite certain that most ponies would take a prank from him the wrong way, especially now.
"But it’s something, right? It’s…It’s a way for you to cause chaos and still be good, right?” Her smile faltered, and she glanced away. “So…So you can still be you…and…” Her voice trailed off, but she didn’t need to finish for him to know what she was going to say.
And nothing like this would have to happen again.
Now he was beginning to understand. She was trying to keep him happy, hoping that allowing him to be chaotic would help him still feel like himself. So in case another villain came and offered him the chance to cause trouble, he wouldn’t feel the need to agree, because he was already able to do so.
Because while Fluttershy may have forgiven him for joining Tirek, she was a long way from trusting him again.
And that thought hurt even worse than losing his magic had.
But how could he blame her? She had been the only one to have faith in him when the others doubted, to believe in him. And he repaid her trust by betraying her…by trapping her and her friends to allow Tirek to take their power, and use them as leverage against Twilight. Even when all the others had expected him to turn against them…she never thought that for one moment.
And he had ruined all that by turning on her and her friends. He had broken her faith in him, and he wouldn’t be able to fix it with just a quick snap of his fingers. All the magic in the world wouldn’t be enough to fix what he had done.
He stepped towards her, and when she didn’t move he gently scooped her into his arms and embraced her. She shuddered as he held her, and sniffled before she finally returned the hold.
How many more tears would he cause her to shed before it was finally enough?
"I don’t need chaos," he finally told her, gently stroking her mane. "Not when having you is enough."
She sobbed softly, burying her face in the coarse fur of his neck. “I-I was just so s-scared…I-I was a-afraid that…that I-I’d lost a friend…” She looked up at him with watery eyes, the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Th-That I’d lost you.”
"You never will." He curled around her, almost protectively as he held her closer. "I promise."
He could never take back all the tears she had cried for him. But he would do everything in his power to make sure she would never shed any more. And no matter what, he would make all this up to her. Even if took the end of his immortal life, he would do everything he could to prove that she could trust him again. He would make things right…even if he had to give up his magic all over again.
Because to him…she was worth all of that and more.
