One day, Fluttershy thought to herself as she walked carefully down the open Ponyville streets, her light and near empty saddlebags shifting rhythmically as her flanks moved. One day before Pinkie Pie comes back. Were she still at home she would have found herself pacing the floor, absentmindedly hovering above the ground occasionally, saying the exact same thing out loud. However, at this time in the morning, the streets were bustling and full of ponies. She never knew who was listening, and she would hate it if one of her friends caught her thinking aloud.
Pinkie, in herself, wasn't the problem - any other time that she left to see her family on the rock farm, Fluttershy would greatly anticipate her return - but things had been complicated last time they saw each other. It was the night before Pinkie departed, and she had (in a rather predictable manner) thrown a leaving party for herself. It was late, much later than Fluttershy would normally keep herself away from home. Everypony else had left, but the two pink-maned ponies had decided to stay together at Sugarcube Corner for a little while longer.
The two of them were lying together in front of each other on the wooden floor of Pinkie's bedroom, with Gummy sneaking around them and clicking from time to time and the Cake twins snoring softly in their crib. They had been quietly giggling, playing truth or dare, a game which neither of them had played since they were little fillies. It was going as it had always done - Fluttershy took only truths and blushing profusely whenever she had to utter an embarrassing secret, whereas Pinkie selected a mixture of the two offers and complained whenever she was giving a boring truth or an easy dare. It was Fluttershy's turn, and she took the same offer as she always did.
"Oh, come ON Fluttershy! There must be some part of you which wants to be a little daring! You must be so boooored of telling me things I already know. Pick dare, for once! I've got a really really really good one for you," Pinkie said as she rolled dramatically onto her back. "Pleeeeease?"
"Uhm, no, it's okay. I'll do truth. But I'll pick dare next time, definitely," Fluttershy smiled and nodded assuringly, even though both mares were safe in the knowledge that there was no chance of Pinkie's idea coming to fruition.
"Fine, fine…. Now, what to ask, what to ask… Ooh, ooh, I know! I can't believe that I haven't asked you this already, since it's such a staple in this kind of game! Fluttershy, I want you to tell me…" Pinkie loomed in closer to her friend in a manner that would be sinister were it not for the wide grin on her face. "Who's your crush!?" She exclaimed, lightly stirring the young twins.
Fluttershy waited for the twins to fall back into a deep sleep before considering her answer. It was a question that she thought about more than she would ever care to let slip. As soon as Pinkie said it, the answer leapt to the front of her mind, and if it weren't for the danger of waking the twins, she would have blurted it out and got a painful secret off her chest. But that brief moment of necessary silence made her consider what she was about to say. She had never revealed her 'crush' to anypony, for the simple reason that nopony had ever thought that Fluttershy had one. Most ponies thought that Fluttershy was content with her animals at the cottage, not needing the romantic company of another. However, her heart had ached for one pony in particular for longer than she had wanted.
And now, now that she could finally tell someone? She didn't want to. This feeling belonged to her, only her, and that was something that she had never wanted to change. "It's… uh, I… Um…" She stammered, unsure of what to say. Despite her desire to keep her love a secret, there was a part of her - tiny and insignificant compared to the rest of her mind - that wanted her to tell the truth. But that part of her was silenced as quickly as it could be. She quickly mumbled a lie under her breath. "I like… Big Macintosh."
To her, it seemed like the perfect thing to say. Whenever her parents visited from Cloudsdale, they would tell her how much "that big earth stallion from the farm" was her perfect match and go on about how sweet they would be together. Personally, she didn't see it, but others did, and believability was all that mattered in a lie.
Pinkie held in a squeal of delight for a second before swallowing it and changing her expression. She pushed herself onto her haunches with her forehooves and looked at Fluttershy in an inquisitive way. "Big… Macintosh? You really like Big Mac?" She failed to hold in a small chortle when she said his name a second time.
Fluttershy smiled as she quickly spoke. "Yes, yes I do. Your turn!"
Both of them knew that Pinkie had seen straight through the lie, but neither of them acknowledged it, at least initially. They continued to play for another hour, until both of them had their imaginations exhausted of possible questions and tasks. At that point, Fluttershy decided that it was time to leave. But not before she was confronted - after all, she had broken the rules of the game, and that was cheating.
Pinkie blocked the front door to Sugarcube Corner. Everypony else who lived there was asleep, so their movements were hushed and the storefront was completely dark. Her head was down, her candy-floss mane facing Fluttershy. She would have intimidated a hardened criminal, let alone a timid, yellow pegasus. "Hey, Fluttershy, who was your crush again?" She asked, not looking up.
Fluttershy was frightened. Pinkie was her friend, so there was a part of her that concluded that she was safe, but it was hard to deny that she was more than a little bit creeped out. "It's, um, Big Macintosh."
"Are you sure?" Pinkie looked up, her face eerie in the shadows.
"Yes," Fluttershy nodded, the traces of confidence in her quiet voice masking her desire to leave immediately.
"Are you sure?" Pinkie asked once more.
"Yup. Now, I'll be going," Fluttershy said as she tried to nudge her friend out of the way.
"Not so fast! You're lying to me!" Pinkie almost shouted, but stopped herself so that nopony woke up. "Tell me who your crush really is!"
"Uh, okay. It's… it's… nopony! I don't have a crush on anypony, and I didn't think you'd believe me if I had told you that, so I said Big Macintosh!" She giggled nervously. "I'll just be on my way-"
"Oh no you won't, stop lying to me!"
"I'm not lying!" A tear formed in Fluttershy's eye. Pinkie really was being scary now, and Fluttershy didn't want to be there. Her voice quivered a little when she spoke. "Let me go, please…"
"Tell me who it is!" Pinkie ignored the last thing that Fluttershy said. There seemed to be anger in her voice as Fluttershy cowered. "Tell me! Tell me now!"
"Oh, hello there Fluttershy," Twilight Sparkle chirped cheerily as Fluttershy walked up the steps to the library. "What brings you here?"
Fluttershy was almost confused by the voice as it snapped her out of her daydream. She shook the remnants of the image of what had happened a few days ago at Sugarcube Corner from her mind as she entered Twilight's home. "Hey, Twilight. I was wondering if I could borrow a book on relationships, y'know, like a guide on courting? Do you have anything like that?"
Twilight was obviously taken aback by this question. Fluttershy's looking for a coltfriend? How cute! I must write to Celestia about this, she'll thoroughly enjoy hearing about a venture of love from Fluttershy. "I-I'm not sure, I'll have to take a look," she stammered as she looked through the shelves dedicated to romance and manuals. "I've got plenty of stuff for you under those criteria, could you be a little more specific? Like, what stage of a relationship are you looking at?"
"Uh… the beginning? Asking somepony out on a first date? That kind of thing?" Fluttershy wasn't particularly happy. Twilight would rarely be seen out on a date, but even she was more experienced than Fluttershy when it came to things like relationships.
Aww, Fluttershy really has got a crush on somepony! I knew it would happen one day, this is so exciting! I wonder who she has her eye on? Twilight thought as she brought down a relatively new tome named "The First Steps on the Road to Love: A Guide to Asking Out That Special Stallion" and presented it to Fluttershy using her horn. "Is this any good?"
Fluttershy looked over it briefly. It was red, and the cover was decorated with swollen, pink love hearts in straight, vertical lines. The blurb was no better, offering minimal information on the actual content of the book and instead offering sycophantic praise to its author and recommending her other works. Not what I had in mind, but I guess it will do. I don't want to stay here too long. "How much will it cost me to rent it for two days?" Fluttershy inquired and brought a purse out from her saddlebags, opening it with her mouth and taking out a few bits.
"Well, normally it would be three bits per day, but I'll give you a special, one hundred percent discount. That is, of course, if you tell me who this stallion that you intend to ask out is?" The lavender unicorn raised an eyebrow and grinned at Fluttershy. Twilight rarely gave out discounts, even to her friends, because of how little business the library actually got. It was a shocking offer, but one that Fluttershy had to refuse. She didn't want to lie and have a repeat of Pinkie's leaving party, so she simply tossed six bits at Twilight and said goodbye, grabbing the book in her mouth and tucking her purse back where it belonged.
She left the library and Twilight didn't bother to come out after her. Twilight could obviously tell how little Fluttershy wanted to talk about her crush, but it was only when she was outside and half way down the street that she noticed that her eyes had teared up slightly. She hadn't began to outright sob, but her cheeks had became a little wet. Not wanting to be chanced upon by anypony she knew in this state, she took a more winding route to her cottage, keeping away from the main paths and sticking to back-alleys more than she would normally wish to.
When she did arrive home, she had regained her composure. She wasn't about to cry about her friend asking an innocent question, no matter how fragile ponies thought she was. Opening the door, she tossed the book onto the sofa and placed her purse on the table. She also brought in a pile of letters that had been deposited into her mailbox while she was out, so she put them on the table too. Even though she rarely received letters, she decided not to read them at that moment, opting instead to start on the manual she had just rented out.
That was, of course, after she had tended to her animals. It was midday at this point, so she had to feed all of her companions and administer any scheduled medicines given. It was hard work sometimes, especially when she had only just taken in a new creature who refused to cooperate, but it was a labour of love. She couldn't help but care for anything that couldn't properly care for itself - whether this was because of empathy or simply because she represented the element of kindness, she neither knew nor cared. She simply knew that she would never be able to live with herself if she found out that she hadn't assisted when she could have, if there was some problem which she hadn't identified or helped assuage.
And it was this that made Fluttershy her own worst enemy. She was imprisoned by her fear, caged in by inhibitions and shackled by the guilt that they inevitably caused. She couldn't help it, she would tell herself, it was simply her nature to be afraid. But that wasn't good enough. She could break free from her bindings if she truly wanted too, as she had demonstrated by facing off with a dragon, but she simply wasn't motivated enough. Sometimes, when she did finally summon all of her courage, it would only serve to make things worse. There was a reason for why she hadn't seen Pinkie Pie off when she left Ponyville the day after the party. She shouldn't have said anything, she should have just ran out of the door like a true coward instead of building up the courage to spill the truth.
No. That wouldn't have solved anything. Pinkie still would have found out, it would just have been later rather than sooner. She should have had the guts earlier, told Pinkie the truth when the question was first asked. Pinkie wouldn't have cared that Fluttershy was a fillyfooler. Fluttershy had hoped that Pinkie would even be happy about it, that she would come out with a similar revelation about herself, that maybe… Maybe they could have shared something special on that last night they had shared together.
Fluttershy had planned it out so methodically in her head. It happened in a moment of pure lucidity in the middle of a storm that had terrified her to the very core, one of those moments where she needed somepony like Pinkie Pie. It was the night before the party when she realised that the party would be the perfect time to confess - if Pinkie responded positively, they would be able to spend some quality time together, but if she didn't, they had a week between seeing each other again. She planned to stay with Pinkie until everypony else had left and finally admit her feelings, like she had wanted to since moving to Ponyville. In the end she didn't have the pluck to simply come out with it, so she instead pulled Pinkie into a game of truth or dare, knowing that the question would arise sooner or later. Unfortunately, when it came, she panicked. Her heart overpowered her brain and the intentions of her plan, and she lied to make sure that Pinkie didn't find out.
Not that it helped. Pinkie coaxed it out of her eventually. When Fluttershy was confronted and made truly fearful, she eventually pooled together the required nerve. She had never cried so hard in her life as when she bore all. She could still remember almost everything that she had said. She told her about the first time they ever met, the light and airy butterflies that had filled her stomach then and refused to leave. She spoke about the steady and unsettling realisation that she was in love with another mare, how the only thing that kept her going through that time was the hope that Pinkie might feel the same way. She talked about her fears, her self-imposed duties, her commitments to everyone and everything but herself. She couldn't contain it any more, so Pinkie ended up on the receiving end of kept secrets that had bubbled under the surface for years.
Fluttershy didn't even stay to see Pinkie's reaction. She fled as soon as she was done, streams of saline tears pouring down her face as she took off. She started running, but eventually began to fly, hiding in the sky so that she couldn't be caught. She had been completely exhausted by what was supposed to be a perfect night and an admission of love. She regretted that now. She wanted to know what Pinkie had made of everything that had been said. There was no longer any optimism, for Fluttershy now fully expected Pinkie to be thoroughly freaked out by just how strongly she had came across. She would give anything to have Pinkie tell her where their friendship would go, whether it be forwards, backwards or nowhere.
Now, however, was not the time to be wistful. Fluttershy had animals to attend to. She partially pulled herself out of her mood of self-pity and dragged herself into the yard.
Pinkie's head collided with the window as she sighed dejectedly. No, no, no! They're all wrong! Her mind shouted whilst she crumpled a piece of paper up and threw it beneath the laminated, white table where she sat. The lavishly decorated carriage had half finished notes strewn across the floor where Pinkie sat, the oak flooring under her chair and the crimson carpet in the adjacent aisle blemished by hundreds of fresh, white spots. The vast, expansive desert outside did not tempt Pinkie's attention from the letter that she was trying her hardest to write.
She had no idea why this was so difficult. She had written difficult letters before, even some that ought to have been harder than this one. But for some reason, she couldn't figure out what to write for the life of her. They all started the same; a simple Dear Fluttershy, yet whatever followed would never suffice, would never be an accurate summary of what she wanted to say. It had to encompass everything that she felt, after what had happened the day before. It had to be apologetic, as Fluttershy hadn't been there to bid farewell that morning, even though she was usually the first to arrive. It had to be precise, all-encompassing and focused - there could be no rambling, no unnecessary tangents. It had to be the opposite of Pinkie.
It had been so long since Pinkie had boarded the train that she had lost track of time, yet she was still unable to rid herself of a horrible feeling in her gut. What if she'd completely destroyed her relationship with Fluttershy? Sure, Pinkie would get carried away and hurt ponies every so often, but this time it felt different. It always felt bad to hurt somepony. She would always be left sick to the pit of her stomach, but there was an additional sensation now. A mild ache that had radiated throughout her body - in her throat, her eyes, and even her ribs. The dull pain hadn't made any attempts to subside since Pinkie had acquired it yesterday. Were it any other time, she would have assumed that it was the beginning of a cold, but she knew otherwise.
The train slowly ground to a halt at the familiar station of a frontier town in the middle of nowhere. Appleloosa was a town that Pinkie wanted to visit more than she actually did, so she had to suppress an urge to leave her unfinished letter in the attractive carriage to carry on toward her destination without her. The doors opened and let in the sounds from the exterior. There certainly wasn't much - the odd teary goodbye and the clicking of hooves as commuting stallions and mares boarded the train were the only noises that seemed to come in. Appleloosa seemed to only be half awake, still stirring, defying the progress of the sun through the vast expanse of clear sky.
A few ponies entered Pinkie's carriage. None of them addressed the litter, instead choosing to sidestep it and sit on the other side. She wasn't really paying attention to anypony else, so she didn't notice when a friendly stallion sat next to her.
"Howdy," he said, making the raspberry-coloured mare jump in shock. "Long time no see!"
Pinkie looked at the golden stallion's brilliant, green eyes and instantly recognised him. "Braeburn! Hey!" she beamed at him, almost forgetting about all of the negative emotion that clouded her mind. Her aches even disappeared for an instant. "It really has been a while."
Braeburn and Pinkie hit it off very well the first time they had met, after the business between the buffalo tribe and the town had been settled. Because Pinkie had to return to Ponyville only a few days later, she made sure to spend most of her time there with Braeburn. She visited Appleloosa every on occasion, often with the intention of seeing him again, but he was always either away or busy. Even when Applejack secretly set them up on a date (against both of their wills), Braeburn couldn't attend because of a trip to Manehattan.
"Yup, sure has," he smiled back a little as he took off his hat and laid it on the table. There was a moment of silence as he played with the sturdy, brown leather, trying to come up with something worthwhile to say. In the end, he simply settled for asking, "what have y'all been up to, then?"
In order to fill up the slightly awkward silence - which was inevitable, given the fact that they hadn't spoken in about a year - Pinkie simply recounted the major events in her recent life, things that Applejack would have told him about already. To anypony else these stories would have been riveting and interesting, especially with how animated she could get, but Braeburn sat with a bored yet polite expression. As much as she hated to admit it, she really wanted him to be bored, so that he would go away before he asked about the debris on the floor or attempted to pry deeper into her private life.
She finished her long yarn with a simple "how've you been doing?" which sounded more flippant than she would have wanted. She wanted him to go away, but she didn't want it to be obvious.
There was one thing about Braeburn that annoyed Pinkie - when he wished, he could talk her into the dust. When he spoke, it was intense, as if all of the words crashed into her skull at once and tried desperately to jam themselves in her ear. He was enthusiastic, too, though not as much as she was. He shifted around in his seat as if it was covered in needles as he chattered about inane subjects. She half listened. She was happy to see him, but he was being inconvenient. She had to write this letter, but he was babbling at her. She couldn't just scribble out something while he talked, he was such a distraction. Not to mention how rude it would be.
As he was winding up his speech, Pinkie stretched her neck out. She was tired, really tired. The night before had been more restless than any night before, so she had taken very little rest. It was a bit of a shock for her to see that, during the wanderings of her mind, she hadn't noticed Braeburn had picked up a few notes and started reading them as he talked. There were already two sheets of crinkled and torn paper were lying on the table, already read, and there was a third in his hooves. She quickly snatched it away from him and glared. He was about to smile and utter a small "what?" when he saw how intently he was being stared at.
"Sorry", he muttered under his breath. No matter how much of a diligent worker he was, he could be so uncouth at times that it hurt. Pinkie looked away. They sat like that for a little while, not speaking. Pinkie watched the window - the desert was slowly receding, giving way to a verdant grassland on the horizon. Braeburn looked at the pegasus mare sitting two seats in front, admiring her permed, cerulean mane.
"There ain't a single justification for reading those notes. They're private. Ah should've stopped after lookin' after the first," he scolded himself out loud in the vain hope that Pinkie would hear what he said and forgive him.
She didn't acknowledge him. The bumpy ride made her head bounce against the window every few seconds, producing a low, dull thudding sound. She wished that he hadn't noticed her, that she had donned a disguise when getting on the train so that nopony she knew would potentially notice and end up disturbing her. Even though it would have been a stupid idea, even for Pinkie, she chided herself for not thinking to execute it. After all, she wouldn't have Braeburn poking around her affairs if he hadn't recognised her.
"Y'know," Braeburn said quietly. "Ah'm okay with that kind of thing."
Pinkie refused to answer, but she could hear the genuine regret in his voice. She knew that he didn't mean to hurt her, he was just curious.
He continued to talk as he looked ahead. "Like, mares who're into mares and stallions who're into stallions. It's okay with me."
Still no answer.
"Fluttershy's the perfect girl for you," he mumbled. "At least Ah think so."
Pinkie's ears pricked subconsciously before being consciously reppressed and her head turned toward him by a small fraction. She didn't care to correct this, however. "Really?" Her voice cracked a little.
"Yeah, y'all are perfect for each other," he put his hoof across her back. "Ah mean, you're this… this… hyperactive, cheerful, jubilant bundle of fun who makes sure that everypony's as happy as can be." Pinkie moved toward him a little bit more, a smile brightening up her lowered face. "And Fluttershy? Well, she's a sweet, perceptive, sensitive creature who does the same! Ah mean, your methods differ, but they're the same intentions."
"Thanks," she mumbled, her vocalisation slightly suppressed. "I never understood why I loved her, but it helps so much that I can explain it now."
"Glad Ah could help," Braeburn said. He waited for a second for her to say something else, but eventually decided to speak again. "Ah think Ah'll leave you alone now, to finish your letter. See you some other time," he drew her into a short embrace before trotting off into the carriage in front.
She didn't say goodbye, she just let him leave. Pulling out a sheet of paper, she gripped a pen in her muzzle and wrote. It wasn't long. That was the beauty of it - it didn't have to be long, it simply had to express every single emotion she felt. It was easy, now that her feelings had been summarised so simply by Braeburn. Of course, he hadn't gotten into the deep stuff, but it became so much more apparent the more Pinkie looked at it. They were polar opposites, antipodes of the world, and yet they were so similar that they were almost the same. It was if they spoke entirely different languages sometimes, with Pinkie's high-pitched, fast-paced and gesture-filled tongue being a counterpart to the calm, soothing and elegant dialect that Fluttershy spoke. And yet, they understood each other perfectly.
The letter was written in a manner more suited to Fluttershy, and that was what made Pinkie think that it was so great. She folded it and tucked it away for safe keeping, waiting until she was finally off the train so that she could post it. Every so often, she read it again.
A weight was off her shoulders now. The pain was just about gone from her body. As her mind settled, her limbs became heavy. She took a tranquil, restful sleep for the remainder of the journey.
Sunlight flooded in through the windows of Fluttershy's cottage as the sun crested the verdurous hills that surrounded Ponyville. The light burned through her eyelids and made the sea of black inside her head a blazing crimson. She stirred softly, stretching and opening her eyes slowly. Most other ponies would have fidgeted and tried to shy away from the morning, but Fluttershy embraced it, allowing it to wash through her and overwhelm her senses. As birds were roused they began to sing beautiful songs that sounded similar to lullabies before flying off to gather food for their young. Nocturnal animals hid away in their burrows, their feet making small skittering sounds as they hurried away from the approaching light. Crepuscular creatures such as bats were already active, skilfully seeking out insects with their honed senses and powerful echolocation.
It was a time that Fluttershy wouldn't miss from the world - it was the whole reason for getting rid of her curtains. An alarm clock would be too noisy - it would silence everything and disrupt the serenity of a natural morning twilight. Plus, she didn't want to take the risk of being startled and forced to hide under the bed for an hour.
She trotted down stairs, to the main room of her abode. Everything was in the same place as it was when she came back from seeing Twilight the day before - the letters still unsorted on the table, the book still unread on the sofa. She hadn't possessed a chance to do anything for herself yesterday, as one of her chickens was incredibly ill and ended up being taken to the vets. She had spent the entirety of the rest of the day worrying about the poor creature and the rest of the chickens, in case they were also suffering the contagion. She was distraught that one was sick, but if her whole brood was ill? That would be a different matter altogether.
The book was a mystery to her. She remembered going out with the intent of borrowing something on the subject, but this? It didn't look in the least bit applicable to her situation. She didn't even know why she had bothered going for a book on the subject. There was no point to asking Pinkie out now. Fluttershy had completely fudged her opportunity to reveal her feelings, and ended up driving a thick wedge between the two of them. She barely even wanted to go and meet her that afternoon, but she was going to anyway. She just about got away with missing the final farewells, but all of her friends would notice if she wasn't present once more. Then they would start to worry about her and ask questions about her and Pinkie. She knew that Pinkie would never tell them, but she didn't trust herself with keeping her secret under an interrogation from anypony, let alone the intimidating and intense Rainbow Dash.
She had the book until tomorrow, but she decided to return it to Twilight later that day. It wasn't any use to her, and somepony else might want it. She would say that it was nice and leave it at that - Twilight probably wouldn't pry much further. Of course, if she did, Fluttershy would have to lie, at least a little bit. She could probably get away with lying to Twilight, since there was an almost implicit trust between the two of them. She would shy away from using Big Mac as her scapegoat, since it hadn't worked last time, so she instead opted for having Braeburn as her very special somepony. It would be perfect as there would be no way for this rumour to reach his ears other than through Applejack, who could certainly be relied on to keep quiet.
Her letters were the next order of business. She hadn't even checked where they were from yet, she had been so distracted. There were four in total, and two had been delivered to the wrong house. Oh, silly Derpy's obviously gotten herself disoriented and has given these to me by mistake. I'll make sure to give her these next time I see her, she thought to herself, keeping a mental reminder. The other two, however, were meant for her. From the return address of one of them, she realised that one was from her parents. The other, however, had an unfamiliar return address. The muzzlewriting was instantly recognisable though. Pinkie.
Her face was drained of colour and she became queasy. Her head spun and she fell to her flank with the message clutched in her hooves. Pinkie had written. There was no doubt in Fluttershy's mind what this was about. Their last night together had ended, but Pinkie never had a chance to tell her said of the story. If Fluttershy had stayed, what she was about to read was what she would have heard a week ago.
She didn't want to open the envelope, but its elegant yet chaotic handwriting drew her in and commanded her to. She slide the folded note from its paper capsule and tentatively unfurled it. She was terrified. What was contained on that note mattered to her more than anything else in the Ponyville, in Equestria, in the universe. She didn't want to look, but she had to. It was a cosmic imperative, as if the princesses themselves were forcing her to do it.
She read it.
And then she read it again.
A third time, followed soon after by a fifth look which was subsequent to a fourth reading.
It was everything that she could have hoped for. She didn't cry out loud, but her face became moist and her teeth shook and were clearly visible. She started to laugh a little. She was just so overjoyed. It was an ineffable happiness that she had never experienced before, and would probably never feel to such a great extent again. Her heart swelled and threatened to burst from her chest as it beat with an intensity that caused rhythmic thumping to pulsate through her ears. Her hooves trembled slightly, as the release of tension caused her bloodstream to be flooded with adrenaline. She sunk onto her back gently, almost as if she was falling in slow motion, smiling with joy, the letter clutched to her chest. She brought it to her eyes again and read it again, concentrating a great deal on each word.
Dear Fluttershy,
I love you too.
From Pinkie Pie
Fluttershy's breath was shaky, so she focused herself and slowed her breathing. I love Pinkie, her inner voice sighed in relief and pleasure. And Pinkie loves me too.
She pushed herself up from the floor and sat the magnificent note on the table. She knocked her redundant, rented manual to the floor and stretched herself out on the sofa as the message soaked into her. She refused to stop smiling, even as the rest of her body returned to normal. She shook herself out and got up, stretching out. She had became somewhat tired, physically drained by her joy, but she had stuff to do. The rest of her animals would be waking soon, and she had to fulfil her commitment to their wellbeing, no matter what state she was in. She would make sure to take extra care to make them happy today - she had decided that it was going to be a good day for everyone and everything, so that nopony was in a bad mood. It seemed so fitting - if she was about to have the best day in her life, so should everypony else.
She fluttered out into the yard, filled with excitement for the day ahead. She simply couldn't wait.
"Ooh, where is she? Where is she? Why is she running so late?" Fluttershy flew high above the Ponyville train platform, looking far out in both directions. "I hope nothing's happened to her…"
"In the name of Celestia, Fluttershy, calm down! Pinkie'll be here in a minute!" Rainbow Dash pulled the yellow pegasus down in an attempt to stop her from making a scene. The station was more crowded than usual, and some ponies were beginning to stare.
"Oh, I know, Rainbow," Fluttershy smiled meekly as she landed and drew in her wings. "I'm just really excited; I didn't get to see her off properly, y'know, so I've really been missing her."
"Ugh, whatever," Rainbow slid her hoof down her face. "Just be excited quietly, like you usually are. You're attracting attention."
"Rainbow!" Twilight snapped, calling Dash out, as she was often forced to. "Leave Fluttershy alone. It's nice to see her so enthused for her friends!"
Rainbow just brushed Twilight off and waited silently from that point on. They all stood quietly now, with Rarity brandishing a bored expression as they all waited in silence and Applejack chewing on her lip. Fluttershy hovered occasionally, but sideways glares from Rainbow quickly returned her to the ground.
At this point, Pinkie was about an hour late. It didn't really bother anypony other than Fluttershy, other than the fact that everypony was tired of standing around doing nothing. There was a low, steady hum of noise from the surrounding crowd. The wind was weary, sick of loosely shaking the branches of trees. The breeze was cool and slow, almost refreshing. Coupled with a sky dotted sparingly with wisps of cloud, the morning was blossoming into a stunning midday. Small birds occasionally flitted across the blue background, their regal plumages both blending in and standing out at the same time. They didn't utter any songs, they simply concentrated on their flightpaths, mildly disturbed by the unnaturally crowded area.
Suddenly, a piercing whistle broke through the air and snapped everypony's attention to the tracks. Though faint in the distance, the engine of a train could be made out. A ripple of joy washed through the crowd, causing complete strangers to turn to each other and chat briefly. This is it, Fluttershy thought. That had to be Pinkie's train. Fluttershy's heart beat faster in anticipation and her legs felt weak. Her wings glued themselves to her sides as a wave of nerves washed over her. It soon receded, leaving a calm and smooth bed of warm, yellow sand. Fluttershy swallowed. Her tongue was dry and it filled up her mouth awkwardly. She wasn't sure if she would have been able to speak if somepony had decided to talk to her at that moment.
The train was getting close now, and passenger began to form queues where they predicted the doors would stop. It slowed down. The engine passed the platform, and the door to the front carriage aligned perfectly with the edge of the concrete platform. The doors on all of the carriages seemed to slide open simultaneously, and a thin stream of colours poured from the vehicle. Fluttershy couldn't see Pinkie. She was on one of the carriages toward the back, perhaps? Or maybe she wasn't on board? Perhaps something bad had happened, and she had been forced to stay with her family for another week, another month? What if she had changed her mind? What if she didn't love Fluttershy, what if she had lied and was hiding away so that Fluttershy wouldn't know?
In an instant, all of those insane theories were gone, replaced by overwhelming joy. A shape coloured with the brightest shock of pink emerged from the train. None of Fluttershy's friends had noticed Pinkie's presence yet, so she started to walk toward the pony. The pink pony noticed Fluttershy and came closer. Both of their faces were decorated by broad, happy smiles. They drew closer and closer, until finally they found their lips touching each other. The kiss had not been part of either of their intentions, but neither backed away from it. The sea of bodies that swirled almost chaotically around them encapsulated the pair, sealing them off from everypony else in the world. They were aware of each other, and only each other even as their faces moved apart and they stared into each others eyes for what seemed like a magnificent eternity.
Pinkie giggled, her wide grin brightening her face. "Hey," she said, slightly shakily.
Fluttershy ducked her head down a little as she blushed and matched Pinkie's grin. "Hey," Fluttershy echoed, her voice quivering.
Pinkie placed her left forehoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. "I missed you."
Fluttershy brought her face to be level with Pinkie once again. "I missed you, too."
"I'm… I'm… sorry," Pinkie sighed, her smile partially subsiding. "Y'know, for that night… I know I got carried away and I hurt you, but I didn't mean to. I was just really shocked, 'cos I thought that you might have liked me in a similar way to how I liked you and then you said Big Mac's name and I was so heartbroken, so I accused you of lying but I never really expected…"
Pinkie was still speaking, but Fluttershy was no longer listening. Her voice tuned out as Fluttershy focused on the simple movement of Pinkie's lips. They seemed to be frantic, moving randomly, not making any specific shapes. She knew what Pinkie was talking about, but Fluttershy didn't care. She knew that Pinkie was sorry, and she would have forgiven Pinkie even if she hadn't been. It didn't matter - nothing mattered, now that they were together.
This time, Fluttershy decided to kiss Pinkie, to stop her hysteric, pointless apology. This time, it felt even better. She concentrated more on Pinkie. Her mouth was sweet, as if it was coated with sugar. She was also more tense, but the strain soon dissipated as they relaxed and became more comfortable.
Pinkie's regret dissolved gradually as Fluttershy said wordlessly, "I forgive you." The shameful event in the week previous was not forgotten - instead, it received the most perfect closure either of them could wish for. All fear had left the two of them, as they concentrated on the pleasure brought about by these first short, intimate moments which seemed to stretch indefinitely.
The two of them slowly drew away from each other once more as their kiss reached its conclusion, but their minds remained focused solely on one another. They both knew that their friends would be watching them, but that didn't bother them in the slightest. They had departed from Equestria; departed using a spell stronger than any unicorn could cast; departed with no intention of ever coming back. They were conscious only of the few seconds that enveloped them and formed the present, casting no glances to the past or the future. This instant, in which all pent up emotions had melted away, was simply too brilliant to allow their thoughts to wander.
That sole, short period of time never truly ended - that would have been impossible, as it was the wealthiest and most worthwhile payoff from the investments of burgeoning, concealed love possible; the knowledge that someone was truly sorry, that someone cared for you, that someone loved you back.
