Honest Conversion Bureau

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human
Length: 1089

Humanity's annihilation is at hand by the pastel ponies that wish to turn all humanity into Ponies. And humanity does absolutely nothing to stop them.

Humanity's annihilation is at hand by the pastel ponies that wish to turn all humanity into ponies.

And humanity does absolutely nothing to stop them.

Warning: Reader discretion is advised. This may be a little offensive and should not be taken seriously.

Published 2014-05-13 04:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-13 04:00:05 UTC

Humanity Accepts Their Fate

The misanthropy filled the air in the morning.

Inside the white house Barack Obama was crying and masturbating as he sat at his desk in the oval office.

Outside in front of the white house a pink sphere had appeared. Followed by the 'good' and sexy Princess Celestia trotting out. Obama's secret security were too busy crying and masturbating to notice Princess Celestia.

Celestia with a smile on her face went inside the white house. She may her way upstairs into the oval office.

"President Barack Obama! Stop crying and masturbating and listen to me!"

Barack Obama stopped crying and masturbating as he saw the Pony Princess slowly make her way to his desk.

"All of Humanity is evil, therefore I can justify the total annihilation of the human race." Obama nodded as he hummed in agreement. "All Humans have small penises and are sadist, torture loving meanies, rapists, pedophiles and serial killers."

"You're right Celestia. All Humans have small penises and are sadist, torture loving meanies, rapists, pedophiles and serial killers. Why just last night I burned down an orphanage and then visited a delivery ward to eat tasty babies."

"You see how evil Humanity is don't you?" Obama nodded." This is good. So you won't even fight against me while I commit xenocide on all of humanity?"

"Nope. All humanity is evil and needs to be exterminated by pastel ponies. Because all humans are evil."

"Very well, I shall have my ponies set up conversion bureaus all across Earth to make all of humanity become perfect ponies."

All around the world there was no protest from humanity, massive crowds of humans were queuing up to enter conversion bureau centers. No Human stood against nor questioned Princess Celestia for all were happy to lose their humanity and become perfect ponies.

They didn't even care that the potion rid them of their personality and made them all but want to kiss Princess Celestia's fat ass forever. All they knew that humans were all bastards and deserved to be destroyed.

The pink barrier slowly expanded across Earth, it destroyed everything the human race ever made. Art, books and general creations of beauty. All of humanity was evil, so every trace of its existence needed to be destroyed. Soon, it shall be illegal to even say the word 'human'.

Humans have small penises, therefore giving the ponies the right to kill all humans.

Soon all of humanity shall be extinct.

***

Yet, while humanity did nothing to stop their extinction. There was something else that was very angry at this heresy.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was sat on her throne with her eyes narrowed angrily as she watched the barrier advance across Earth.

She still maintained the power she gained from the other three alicorn princesses even after she saved Equestria and restored the magic of the other alicorn.

"Why is humanity just letting that happen in that universe?! Is all of humanity just a bunch of whiny misanthropes?" A small smile came across her face as she saw the handsome butt naked Nicolas Cage outside Madison Square Garden, where he was firing red laser beams from his massive mighty penis vaporizing to dust the ponies and the misanthropic humans queuing up to enter the conversion bureau center."I must help him!"

***

Nicolas Cage, self proclaimed leader and only member of the Human Liberation Front was fighting bravely against the pastel horses of doom. His massive penis fired laser beam after laser beam at the ponies and the misanthropic humans.

There was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of Princess Twilight.

Nicolas Cage growled angrily and turned his penis toward Twilight.

"Wait, Nicolas Cage! I'm on your side!" she shoued. Nicolas Cage's penis became confused. "If you cum inside me, we can stop the conversion bureau."

Princess Twilight Sparkle and Nicolas Cage stared at one another with bedroom eyes. Slowly, very slowly, Twilight and Cage drew their lips together. When their lips met they kissed passionately in a tender display of human and pony love.

Nicolas Cage used the power of his magical mighty penis to create a forced field around himself and Princess Twilight, to ensure no one would interrupt the human and pony sex. By now all the misanthropic humans and even the ponies were crying and masturbating as they watched the human and pony action in the street.

"Oh, Nicolas Cage! You're so sexy! Please cum inside me!" she shouted in joy.

"Can't you ask a little more sexfully?" he said sexfully said with bedroom eyes.

"Oh, Nicolas Cage! Please cum inside me!" she said sexfully.

"Yes. I shall cum inside you like I cum inside a chocolate cake!"

Twilight turned around and showed Nicolas Cage her sexy pony pussy. Nicolas Cage grinned and stuffed his mighty penis up Twilight's pony pussy.

Nicolas Cage gripped the pony's buttecheeks as he slammed his mighty penis into the pony.

"Hurry up, Nicolas Cage! You must cum inside me to save humanity! Cum inside me before it's too late!"

"I'm fucking as hard as I can!"

"Fuck harder damn you!" she shouted.

Nicolas Cage's mighty magical penis went into overdrive. Thus his penis summoned the sexy red lobster man known as Zoidberg with a massive mighty penis at the ready.

"Whoop whoop whoop! Zoidberg is here to make this a glorious threesome for the ages!" he shouted while he clicked his claws excitedly.

Zoidberg stuffed his mighty penis down into Twilight's throat. Twilight moaned in pure bliss as Nicolas Cage and Zoidberg fucked her.

Unfortunately, the evil Princess Celestia walked toward the threesome while glaring angrily at them.

"Stop this human, pony and lobster man sex at once!" she shouted.

With tears rolling down her face Twilight had stared into Nicolas Cage's eyes, pleading for him to cum inside her. "Come on Nicolas Cage, it's now or never. You must cum inside me to save humanity."

Nicolas Cage slammed into her one last time. But finally, Nicolas Cage had came inside Princess Twilight Sparkle. Thus with the combined power of Nicolas Cage's mighty magical penis and Princess Twilight Sparkle magical pony pussy evil was defeated. The barrier had stopped, humans returned to normal and Princess Celestia joined in to make it a foursome. And so no human was forced to become a pony and not every human wanted to become a pony.

And then everypony and every humans had a big sexy orgy.

The End

Author's Note

Nicolas Cage's mighty magical penis!