The (Fashion) Stars Will Aid In Her Escape
Nightmare Moon grinned wickedly. After a thousand years she would be free. The four stars destined to free her would come, and she would usher the world into endless night. Then her sister would realize that she was the one who would rule Equestria, not her.
A sudden blinding light filled the moon. Nightmare Moon grinned. The stars were coming. They would free her. Once the light had faded Nightmare Moon strode forward. “I believe you have come to free me?” She asked imperiously. Then her eyes widened. These were not the stars destined to free her. Why, they were simply a unicorn and three earth ponies. “Where are the stars?” She asked viscously. If they had stopped the stars, they would regret it for the rest of their lives once she was free.
The first earth pony turned to the unicorn. “Is this the place? Who is in charge of these horrendous decorations?” His strange hairstyle bobbed in the low gravity.
Nightmare Moon strode forward. “You are on the moon. I hope you give me an answer, or I shall find some suitable punishment.”
One of the mares, a cyan earth pony with a set of glasses, spoke up. “We are the stars. We are the fashion stars. Photo Finish out.” The mare dashed away suddenly and came back with a camera. “Now hold still. We need some pictures.” She flashed a few pictures before Nightmare Moon stopped her.
“Enough. You cannot be the stars destined to free me!” The Alicorn attempted to swat the camera with her ethereal mane but to no avail. “Why are you here?”
The unicorn grinned. “We’re here to free you. Your beauty cannot go unnoticed. The world must know. The name’s Fancy Pants by the way.”
The one with the strange mane spoke next. “Were you expecting some other stars?”
Nightmare Moon shrugged. “I don’t know. I figured since I’m a centuries old evil being intent on killing Celestia the ‘stars’ would be something like evil dragons or something. At least you could look evil or horrendous.”
“But Hoity Toity’s mane cut is horrendous,” remarked the taller one. Hoity Toity glared at Sapphire Shores, who just grinned back.
Nightmare Moon shook her head. “Enough. Are you going to free me or not?”
Fancy Pants shrugged. “We want to interview you first. You know, see if you’re what the public wants.” Nightmare Moon groaned.
“Fine, but be snappy.” Fancy Pants summoned up a little table.
“Please sit down.” Nightmare Moon did so.
“You do realize I’m only doing this because the other stars haven’t showed up,” she growled. Fancy Pants nodded.
“Ms. Nightmare Moon, what do you see yourself doing in Equestria?”
Nightmare Moon grinned. This was easy. She had planned this for years. “I plan to shroud the world in eternal night.”
Hoity Toity nodded and made a mark on a clipboard. “Hm. Why would you do that? What do you intend to gain from shrouding the world in eternal night?”
“I intend to gain the love of my subjects by showing them the beauty of the night.”
Sapphire Shores grimaced. “How would you provide food for your subjects if the world is in eternal night?” Nightmare Moon frowned. What did she mean by that?
“Why, they would eat the normal stuff.”
“But if you shroud the world in eternal night you would cause a drop in food supplies, not to mention the economy.”
“How would I cause a drop in food supplies?” The Alicorn asked.
“Ah, well, food requires sunlight to grow.” Photo Finish cut in. “How would you give them food if they couldn’t grow the normal stuff?”
Nightmare Moon scratched her head. “Well… Let them eat cake.”
“How would they grow the sugar for the cake?” Hoity Toity asked. “As much as I love cake, the idea of letting them eat cake when there is no light is a bit absurd.”
Nightmare Moon ground her teeth. Why were these commoners questioning her? They should be bowing down, asking her to rule them, and allowing the alien to take her to their leader… Wait, what? Nightmare Moon shrugged. Didn’t matter. “They could eat each other. That’s it. They could eat each other.”
“Ms. Moon, cannibalism is not the answer. Onto the next question. What would you do about the drop in the ecosystem? With no food the animals would starve and the ecosystem would begin to fail. Are you willing to deal with these problems?”
“Yes I am,” she replied. “I will deal with these problems when they arise.”
“Hm. What’s your take on global warming?”
Nightmare Moon’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Global warming? What do you mean?”
“Don’t you know about the rise in temperatures?” Sapphire Shores asked. “The ice caps are melting and Equestria is facing imminent destruction in the next couple centuries.”
Nightmare Moon stared. “You’re kidding, right? I know nothing whatsoever about global warming.”
Sapphire Shores sighed. “Okay. Let’s move on to the next question. What is your take on the current political system?”
Nightmare Moon growled. “It’s a dictatorship where one misstep leads to a millennium of banishment on the moon. Does it really matter?”
Fancy Pants shrugged. “No. We needed you for a poll, so we decided to ask you what your idea of what would happen if the fabled Mare in the Moon returned. We thought since you were up here we could ask you since you live near the Mare in the Moon. Thank you for your help. We shall now return you to Equestria where you will be allowed to resume your normal life away from the Mare in the Moon and moon related things in general.”
Nightmare Moon stared. “Do you guys celebrate Nightmare Night?”
Hoity Toity shook his head. “No. That’s for young fillies. Why?”
“Um… No reason. Anyway, will we be leaving soon?”
Photo Finish nodded. “We will. Thank you for your help with our poll. We will be sure to list you on those who helped the survey.” The five ponies stood close together, and Fancy Pants teleported them back to Equestria.
Five minutes later, a group of four monsters materialized on the moon. They looked around for a moment before speaking. “Where’s Nightmare Moon?”
Author's Note
Once again I have created something that scares me. I was bored and annoyed at prophecies in general from stories having so many ambiguities. I decided to give it the weirdest interpretation I could think of. Sapphires Shores take on global warming and political systems is not me attempting to tell the audience what to think, I simply was trying to think up crazy questions with crazy reasons. Does Equestria have ice caps? I have no idea.
