For love or money
By The Frank
This story starts with a short prologue, perhaps necessary to explain the circumstances. And just to make one thing clear, it was only as a convinience that made me suggest that…. Ehrm… I decided I needed a companion in my work and…
Alright, I was lonely.
Since the events with Tarik, I have got my own castle. It looks like a tree…but it does not feel like a tree, and it’s much bigger than a tree. But it does smell like a tree. That’s some comfort, but it is big. Big. BIG. And So there I was, in this huge empty…castle. And feeling extremely lonely. At first, I found it wonderful that the whole library from the ancient castle of the two sisters was transfered to me, and I buried my self in work. And as long as I had Spike, that wasn’t a problem, but pretty soon he started to work all over Equestria for months. So there I was. And the books didn’t talk to me as much as they used to…
Well, of cource, I could invite all my friends over, and I did at times. We hade some wonderful evenings, wine, food. But… they had their lives. Rarity was now the mother of two, Bucky not included. Fluttershy had her chores at the farm and her animals and her husband. Rainbow and AJ had gotten engaged two weeks earlier, and with the wonderbolts training and the work on the farm, it wasn’t that often we could meet.
That why I asked Pinkie to move in with me. It was interesting to have somepony who did experiments with bakingpowder and salt in the kitchen, and somepony who, when she ”felt for it” sat down with a big bowl of jelly donuts and threw them on the wall in the pattern of the patriotic C. R (Celectia Regina) but I had company at last, and there never was silent for more than 20 minutes in a row.
I loved it.
One day, there was a knock on my door. Maybe I missed to say that, but I don’t have any staff. I don’t want to. I have two royal guards, but they don’t do anything exept to watch my gate. And open the door, and shout ”Your Highness, a miss Sweetie Belle want to see you”. Well, they don’t shout that EVERYTIME, just when…ah, whatever.
”Well, send her up!” THAT on the other hand is my usual answer.
And there she was. She looked as beautiful as the last time I saw her, but there was something new. She was bouncing up and down almost like Pinkie, and it was clear that she was excited about something. And Sweetie is usually as stiff as Rarity these days so this was a bit out of the ordinary.
”Twi…Ehrm… Your Highness! TWILIGHT! PINKIE! I GOT A JOB! AS A SINGER!”
”But thats…thats’s wonderful! Congratulations!”
”Yeah! It’s totally AWESOME! I’m going to be choirpony, and play the piano on a tour with W…”
”IIIIIIITHATISSOAWESOOOOOMMEEEE”!
Pinkie flew into the room and knocked sweetie to the floor in a big hug.
”I must throw a party for you! I must! A ”Sweetie is going to be background mare to… to…I’m sorry, what was his name?”
”Xtreme.”
”Who?” the name ment nothing to me.
”Oh, twi, you need to keep an eye on that part of Equestrian culture! Xtreme is a popstar. One of the biggest in the country. Oh come on twi… oh, you must have heard ”Mareful”! Or ”Candy crush”! Come on! Oh, you’ve must heard ”Whining in a bottle”!”
That title actually awoke a memory.
”Oh… yeah, that one I heard… but he wasn’t called Xtreme, was he?”
”No, that was early in his career. He used his actual name, Chris Agility back then, he was only a foal . He was the youngest ever to top the charts!”
”Oh. Well thats great for you!”
”Yes” Sweetie Belles eyes glow. ”And maybe he might listen to some of my songs… and give me a contract… or buy some of my tunes…”
Well, theres nothing more to say about that. Pinkie had her party, of cource, and it was really really fun. The whole gang came around, and the CMC was reunited. They had a brief singing career as well, and one of the more memorable moments of that evening was the thing Scootaloo described as ”The shortest greatest hits-concert ever to be.” Two songs. And a cover of ”More than words”. And a lot of cider.
That was the prologue, now lets jump some months into the future.
The newspapers were black with headlines.
”TRAGEDY! THE SONG IS GONE!”
”POPSTAR MYSTERIOUSLY KILLED!”
”WHO KILLED XTREME?!”
I turned my head to Pinkie, as we sat at the breakfast table.
”Isn’t this…”
”Yup”
”Have she…”
”Yup. This morning. Mail.”
”So…when are you…”
”WE are going Twilight! We are! I will not hunt down a murderer without my best friend, and faithfull assistant.
”But…”
”No Butts, bigflank! We’re going to Manehattan with the next train!”
Not much to say about that. I packed, and we went to manehattan by the 3.45. Pinkie showed me the letter from Sweetie. She had suggested to the manager of P.M.I that Pinkie should be the one taking care of the case. And here we were. I red the police reports, Pinkie had coffee. She didn’t look at me at all, and I got a bit annoyed by the lack of interest.
”Sooo… this case looks like a total mystery… there was a party at the Director of the Record companys house… Xtreme, her band including Sweetie, The Director, a mrs… Swanee… and some more ponys. She took a pride on serving fresh vegetables for every meal, and so he had his own garden. Now, the main dish was Quorn fillets, to be served vith sage. However, somepony had planted foxglove amongst the herbes, and probably by mistake, THAT was served along with the Quorn. Now, foxglove is, as you know, higly toxic, as it contains digitoxin. Digitoxin is a rather powerful drug, and everyone eating it will ge sick, and in the end it also can be proven fatal. Consuming a high dose might lead to cardiac arrest. Andso it was the case with Xtreme. He died at 4.35 that morning. But the question is… who was the intended target, since everyone got sick? I have been reading a bit, and the lethal dose of digitoxin is rather hard to find, since it varies between individuals. So,if this was a planned murder, how to know who needed the lowest dose? Xtreme probably had some enemies, but there’s also the witness from on of the guests as Xtreme and a mr… Gently was in the garding, picking the herbs. And mrs Swanee does have a weak heart. Was she the intended target? Did someponys plan backfire? Or was it cold blooded murder? I say I can’t make heads nor tail of it.”
Pinkie was still silent.
”Hello? Pinkie? PINKIE!”
”You don’t need to yell, silly! I heard you the first time!”
”So, what do you say?”
”Well, not much to say, is there? You put it quite nicely. Oh, except for one thing. It’s definitely murder. And I know who did it.”
”How the…”
”Ok, not perhaps KNOW… lets say it’s a…hunch!”
”But… but…who?”
”Oh, Twi… it wouldn’t be fun if I told you! If you catch up on Xtremes songcatalogue, I’d say you’d figure it out!”
Pinkie smiled, and returned to silence.
I got nothing more out of her, and even when we arrived in Manehattan, she kept quite. Now I was worried, Pinkie ALWAYS talks, or at least giggles. But nothing. Well, she didn’t have her hair straight, which was a bit of a comfort, but the silence drew me nuts. We took a cab to the home of the director. DI Pomona was there, as expected.
”Honor to meet yer, yer Highness. We met before, by the way. Yer probably don’t remember, but ah remember yer!”
”Oh…but I think I do… you are a cousin of Applejack, aren’t you?”
”He he… Ah guess it was the nose that gave me away, was it? And, Pinkie, Ah remember yer too. Real shame we should meet like this, though.”
”It’s always nice to meet old aquiantances! You definitely should come down to ponyville for a visit! But buisness first! Is there a chance for us to look at the body?”
”Well, it’s in the autopsy right now, but later today at the hospital, of cource.”
”Alright then, lets talk to some witnesses, then. Se you later, Inspony. Now, twi… Lets start with the one who hired us, shall we?”
”Sweetie? Is she really the best?”
”Perhaps not. But it would be rude not to start with her. Honestly Twi, you need to cheer up! You’ve been acting strange the whole morning. Come on, give me a smile!”
My jaw sank to my navel after that comment. Then we went to sweetie Belle.
”It’s so good to see you again” she greeted us ”I can’t help feeling guilty for some reason…”
”Why? Did you kill her?”
”What, NO! It’s just… I mean… she’s dead, and thats sad… but my first feeling was that I lost my job. And that I will never get a contract now. That makes me a bad pony, isn’t it?”
”In a way… but mostly, it clears you from suspicion. You wouldn’t kill someone that you could take advantage of.”
Sweetie Belle looked like she was going to strangle Pinkie for that one, but, she sighed.
”Yeah… your right… he wasn’t really nice. I just decided to stay around, get some contacts and then quit. I mean, the tour was going to end in four weeks anyway.”
”What was the party for?”
”A celebration of his latest single. It sold Platinum.”
”oh… thats nice!”
”Yeah… and I sing on it! He usually sings his own backing vocals, but he decided to try out with a choir mare. he choose me…”
”Well thats great, but…”
”GREAT? IT’S AWESOME! I already have three producers saying they want to work with me, and I got three more job offers for touring, and my life is GREAT! …Sorry…”
”It’s okay sweetie. But now, the buisness. Tell us about the evening.”
”Well, it was a meet and greet basically... Not big fun, but nice food, and a lot of booze. I don’t really recall anything… Mrs Swanee was giving him drinks the whole time, and he was just…standing there, with the sunglasses and all.
"So, how was it around him? The atmosphere on the tour?”
”Yeah well… it was strange. It was a rather rough tour. I usually stick with the band, they’re nice ponys. The worst people on the tour was Xtreme, mrs Swanee, Derk Gently and…”
For the second time , I heard that ponys name, and I couldn’t help to ask.
”Who’s Derk Gently?”
”Mr Swanees secretary. There was some sort of tension between those three, but I couldn’t find out what. But there was one time when mr Gently and Xtreme came out from his lounge, mrs Swanee saw them and…she just got furious. Oh, and then there was Flashy. He’s the road manager. He just tried to make everyhing work, and it… pretty much didn’t.”
”What was the tension about?”
”The way I understood it it was about the choice of songs.”
”Ok?”
”Yeah… Xtreme had recorded more mature material on his latest record. But his biggest fanbase was still small fillys, so the company always wanted him to include more songs from his first three albums.”
”Mature? In what way?” I said.
”Oh, Twi… you really need to go home and study!” Pinkie said. ”You would never ask such a question if you knew.”
That comment made me angry, so I rushed out of Sweeties appartment. I wanted no more to have with that besserwisser! I went to our hotel.
As it was only four in the afternoon, and I really didn’t have any feeling for anything, I took the time to listen to Xtremes catalogue. It was an interesting journey, from the child prodigy star to the more grown up stallion as he was until recently. His latest record ”Speaking Body laguage fluently” had some rather blunt sexual referenses, some songs direct and straight to the point. But there were also more mature songs about love, growing up and start life new. But the one track that stood out was ”Bubblegum” which sounded more like his previous record, ”Candy”. Every song on THAT album was about either food, playing, boring homework or…candy. And this record was only released last year… that was quite a jump in songwriting. I listened without entusiasm to his first two albums. No doubt, he was a skillful singer. A prodigy, to be correct. And his songwriting had evolved. But, comparing ”Little wonder” and ”small town foal” with ”Candy” and ”SBLF” was something. It was like looking first at a seed, and then on a full evolved rose. Everything WAS better on the later ones, and in the end, the sexual referenses didn’t feel at all awkward. I couldn’t help wonder what had happend between those two records. One song on ”Candy”, the extremely cheerful ”Do as they say” was by the way one of the most horrifying I’ve read. The lyrics was a bit hard to hear, it was basically just a chorus and some half-descent rap, but when I read the lyrics… It was all about a parent who controlled hirs filly in the worst way possible, deciding who to hang with and who to never talk to and more in the same manner, and the filly singing seemed okay with it? There was a hint of abuse in some of it as well… Luckily, there was no traces of that on ”SBLF”, but there were some mentions of a "darky" in three or four songs.
After this, I needed some refreshments. So I called the DI and asked for the protocol of the hearings with the witnesses. She was happy to oblige, and I hade them in my hooves 30 minutes later.
They didn't say much more about the evening than I already knew. But they did fill some blanks on the business around it all. Gossip about Mrs Swanee being a control freak, wanting total control of Xtremes career, rumours about affairs with dancers, arguments with grim undertones... Yep,I could understand that there was trouble, with a young star suddenly getting it that hes beeing a teenager withmoney and a career...
At seven, I recieved a phone call from Pinkie. Or…something.
”Twilight, I need your help! Convince this mare that I need to look at their prescription book.”
”Oka…”
Another voice surfaced. A dry, irritated voice.
”Yes, this is the chemist shop at 44 and Mane, and this pink lunatic is trying to look at our confidential records. Now, this must be a joke, but…”
I was angry with Pinkie, but no one calls her a lunatic in my prescense!
”Mr…What ever your name is, this is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking. Now, the ”pink lunatic” is acting upon my orders, and it would be very wise of you to NOT obstruct them. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR TO YOU?”
”…But…why…yes…your highness.”
”Good night then.”
Princess voice gives me a headache.
I was trying to sleep the evening of. But the case carouseled my mind. Who was the target? Was it a plot to get rid of an unwanted director who just pested you? Or was it an act of jealousy at the young star? And why Digitoxin? It was almost, if not totally impossible to just plant Foxglove around Sage ang hope that the person you wanted dead was to eat it. And there was another way… the killer may have just wanted a spread of terror and that the killing of ANYONE would do. Nothing made any sence. But no worrys, PINKIE got it all covered…
…in fact, she probably had. And it was annoying that I, the smartest of alicorns can’t make anything out.
At nine, Pinkie returned.
”Ah, you feeling better now?Good! I need my faithful assistant at her best mood tomorrow! Right now, lets go for dinner! I don’t know bout you, but I’m starving. Oh, and thanks for the help with the chemist. That was most necessary.”
”Pinkie, I have been listening to his records and…”
”Oh! Great! You tell me what you think in the elevator! Come on! FOOOD!!!”
I was dragged out of the room and into the elevator. Pinkie pressed the entrance floor button with a frenzy I found stupid.
”What’s the matter with you Pinkie?”
Silence.
”Ah,come on Twi, you’re…”
”And don’t blame me this time! You are the one acting strange”
There was silence again for a while.
”Yeah, I know… sorry. It’s… it’s… stupid really, but….”
”But? Pinkie, you’re my friend. Tell me!”
”…I will… but… after dinner, ok?”
We went to an italian restaurant. Their straw spaghetti was delicious, and the wine was excellent. Finally Pinkie was in her normal mode. The evening was pleasant, we talked about everything else but the case. We took a long walk, looking at stars and other ponys, until we came back to our hotel at eleven thirty.
I threw myself to the bed. Pinkie stood in the door, looking at me.
”What’s the matter? Are you ok? Oh, yeah…sorry…what was it that…. you should tell me after dinner?”
Pinkie was silent. She then walked to the bed, sat next to me, and kissed me.
That felt strange. I was not prepared for that. Not that it felt weird, it was… surpricingly nice. But totally unexpected. And to be honest…
”Pinkie… What was that?”
”It was a kiss, stupid!”
”Yeah yeah…but… Pinkie, you’re not in… love with me are you?
She was silent.
”Cause I… I… well I…like you but… not that much…. Sorry”
”It’s okay. The thing is… I don’t love you either…I’m just…Lonely. ”
”YOU’RE lonely?”
”Yeah, can’t I be lonely?”
”Of…cource, I just thought you…”
”Were having all these friends? Oh, I do. But… everyones getting familys… They don’t have the same amount of time for me… But the thing is…I don’t want a special somepony right now. I’m just… lonely and horny. And with you there all day… Well i can’t help notice you around and… I find you very attractive actually. Would… would you go to bed with me?”
The next morning, I woke up with pinkie on my arm. I lay silent for a while, just watching her. I wasn’t sure what last night was about, but I knew it had been…really really good.
”Good morning starshine! You’re quite the lover, you know that?” Pinkie awoke and started to talk at once.
”You’re not so bad yourself.”
”You know Twilight… you are the best of friends…there are not many ponys who whould do this…”
Silence again.
”So…what does this make us?” I was curious.
More silence.
”Friends with benifits, I guess? I mean…I know you want your specialpony. And I want… Well…I don’t know…to have fun? So wer’e not dating, we just… buck when we want to?”
”Sounds good to me.”
”At your service princess! Always nice to serve royalty! Now, get your beautiful royal ass out of the bed! I want breakfast!”
Well...that was just Pinkie.
After breakfast, I decided it was time to talk about the case.
”So… Pinkie, what about…”
”Oh, Now I know! I know who did it, I know why, and I know when. Sweetie Belles witness was pretty much all I needed. But we must visit mrs. Swanee to get everything clear. Can you arrange with the DI to meet us there?”
”Sure." I hated to admit I didn't understand anything, so I went the ironic way. "So, what was the curious incident the night of the murder?” I asked, with a smirk smile.
”Oh, nothing really. As Sweetie said, they had dinner, they toasted for sucsess, and then there were party. Xtreme drank quite many drinks as usual. Mrs Swanee tended bar. And in the morning everypony started feeling sick. ”
”But… if everything was normal, then how could you…”
”Figure it out? Oh, it was actually my first theory that was easily fitted over the facts! But it was also the fact that there are some misconceptions.”
”Like what?”
”Well, at some point you assumed that it may have been an attempt at mr Swanee. But it was not, I told you, the murder was intended at Xtreme, and it was a crime of passion! And the digitoxin have been misinterpreted as well. You know, …”
”You say this was a crime of passion? How?”
”Oh, that is the most obvious part! Didn’t you listen to his songs?”
”Yeah, but…”
”No ”butts” here. Ah, Mrs Swanees house! Now its time to pin the tail on the murderous pony.
”Hullo, ladies!”
”Why, inspector! I didn’t expect you to come”
”Well…I’m not sure what you’re after, but I trust her royal highness!”
”Oh. You shouldn’t, I don’t think she understands either. But its okey. Now lets go inside. ”
We rang the bell, and the door opened by a young stallion. He was really good looking with a long many of think auburn hair, and yet there was something reluctant over him. He left us in mrs Swanees study, and I told Pinkie this. And much to my surprice, she agreed.
”Yes Twilight, you are right. I do not like him. He’s to good looking. Always for the soft jobs he will be. But, that fits in my theory. Did you notice he had been crying?”
”No…”
”Well…it wasn’t a big thing. His left hoove was wet, and his glasses were smudged. Ah, but here’s mr Swanee.”
”Ah, miss Pie! Your highness! Inspector! Any light over the case?”
”Oh, yes. In fact, everything fell in place last night. It was a nice stroll for you down to the chemists shop?”
”Well… nice and nice… I needed to renew my prescription. But how did you know... and what has that got to do with anything?”
”Everything!…”
”What do you mean!”
”You killed him. You killed your own star.”
”Why, that is ridicoulous! Why would I kill somepony that gives me the most money I can wish for?”
”Well, you were having thoughts about his choice of songs…”
”Well, we did have our disagreements, but thats not the base for killing somepony.”
”Perhaps not. But love is. He was in love! And he wanted to share it with the world! Your buisness would have cracked! Your biggest star, the dream pony of every filly in equestria...in a relationship...AND with a stallion!"
Silence again. Then the director broke it.
"You are out of your mind!"
"Oh no I'm not! My doctor says I'm okay, and her word counts more than yours! That was the worst part, wasn't it? That he had become involved with Your Own Secretary!"
"But but...princess! You can not believe this crazy raning, can you?"
I said nothing. It all fell into place. The "do as you're told"...referenced mrs Swanee... And growing up and discovering love led to Xtreme wanting more mature themes with his songs.... And "Darky" sounded a bit like "Derk"...
"Well...I actually do."
"Ah do to!"
"Inspony?"
"Ayup! We have a witness of an aspecially nasty argument between the two of you... Xtreme saying that...ehm...'whatever yer said, he would go throw with it' and yer almost directly threatend to kill him."
"All right! All right! I told him it wasn't a good Idea! I mean, I don't have prejudices...but the fans! You can never tell what the fans would say! He would have lost his whole fanbase!"
"Oh, I think he would've gotten a new one!"
"Well...perhaps... but I did not kill him! Everyone got sick! How can you say It was me?"
"Because of the digitoxin! It is like this...it is fatal to the heart, BUT at the right amount, it works as medicine! Speeds up a slow heart, so to speak! YOU have a slow heart, you EAT digitoxin for that purpouse! How easy it was for you, to first serve everybody foxglow, and then present a lethal dose to your intended victim, probably through a drink! You had plenty of opportunities, since you handed bar. Everything fell into place. The arguments with Xtreme, the tension between you and your secretary, the foxglow, youre prescription... yep, everthing fitted. I checked with the chemist yesterday. I asumed you needed a refill when you empty a whole jar in someones drink. And I was right."
Silence. The air seemed to slip out of Mrs Swanee.
" Yep, coldblooded, well planned, determined murder. As I said, it was a crime of passion. Love. You. loved. him. You wanted him to be yours, and for you to live happily ever after. But he never loved you back, in spite of everything you did for him.... and then, he cheats on you with a stallion..."
The director sighed.
"That bucking little brat...I made him what he was...He Owed me! And that is how he returned my emotions! If I couldn't have him, Noone should!"
"well...Ah guess that does it then...Yer have the right to remain silent..."
We left, as the DI gave mrs Swaenne the treatment.
"Love does strange things to ponys, doesn't they,Pinkie?"
"I guess your right..."
"You know...sometimes I wish I never fall in love."
"Why not? That sounds just so sad, Twi."
"well yeah...but I mean... if it only ends in hurt... I don't really think Derk Gentlys feelings were real."
"They were to Xtreme."
" Yeah. Lucky kid, died at the right time...he..."
Then, she silenced me with a kiss.
"What was that Pinkie?"
"A kiss again, stupid. You need to get your mind on easier things. I know love is hard. But I'm not giving up, and neither shall you. But there's enough evil of today. Now lets throw the emotions out the window and stick to the fun parts of any relationship!"
"...bucking?"
"Yup! First to your room gets to be on top!"
"Game on!"
I leave the rest to your minds...
