The Wingurillion

by PenileCorrectionSurgery

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Random
Length: 1591

Our Right Honourable Lord Wingus creates the universe and goes adventuring within it for his own twisted means.

When the conception of the universe doesn't go as planned for its creator, Wingus has to be a bit creative to set things straight, but gets caught up in all the twists and turns it takes to get there. Despite being an omnipotent, omniscient god, He finds himself learning from the very things he creates, and who knows, perhaps he can even be swayed on opinions he has held since the beginning of time.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-12 22:40:24 UTC

Book 1: In the Beginning

In the beginning, there was nothing.

Wingus looked upon this nothingness with disdain, He disliked nothingness, but had been putting up with it for an infinitely long amount of time. He decided that he was going to finally going to do something about this and, with a swipe of his nonexistent hand, pulled time and space into being from the emptiness. Wingus looked at his creation and was still unhappy. It was exactly the same as before but now time was passing and it was boring. To counter this, Wingus conjured up some dust and threw it into the air over his head in a shower. Due to the fact that He had yet to invent gravity, the dust hung around and was essentially invisible due to the lack of light in the newborn universe.

Despite all his hard work, Wingus still didn’t like what he’d done, and thought it was really dark and rubbish. This was when He decided to get some light going on and the universe was filled with it, no shadows or anywhere to hide, the light was blinding and inescapable. Wingus thought this was a little overkill and got rid of it, instead opting for a smaller light in his direct area. He could finally see the shimmer of the only matter he’d made so far and thought it was lovely, but unfinished. He grabbed the dust and forced it together into one place, but to no avail, as with no forces to keep the dust together it just crumbled apart again. Wingus decided this was a logical next step and created some rudimentary laws of physics, gravity included in the package. With this sorted out he finally managed to keep the dust together and found that it got very hot very quickly and burst into flames. Pleased with his progress, Wingus turned off the light emanating from his incomprehensible form and settled down for a totally unnecessary nap.

An unspecified amount of time later, Wingus awoke from his slumber and went over to his giant death fireball to see how it was faring only to find it was gone. disappointed, He set out to make a new one but His efforts were cut short by a sound behind him. He hadn’t invented sound yet, what was going on?

Wingus turned around to see what the fuss was and noticed that his giant fireball had sprouted arms and legs and was walking around in the infinite space.

“What the fuck, giant fireball?” He said, moving over to him. “I never said to do that.”

“Hail Wingus.” The Fireball replied. “You were asleep for an unspecified amount of time so I took the liberty of making myself into a god and continuing where you left off. Look, I made sound and a galaxy and everything.” It pointed to a sparkly, spinning mass behind it.

“Oh great, thanks, Fireball.” Wingus sarcastically remarked. “Yeah I kind of wanted to do that myself mate.”

“My apologies.” The Fireball said. “I was just trying to be helpful, I beg your forgiveness.”

“Nah.” Wingus replied, and punched the fiery mass where its face may have been if it had one, sending it reeling into the galaxy and dissipating the stars.

“What the fuck, Wingus?” Fireball retorted, and returned the punch.

Soon enough, the two godlike beings were tumbling through empty space taking jabs at each other for an unspecified amount of time, neither of them getting anywhere due to being gods and also because neither pain nor death had actually been invented yet.

“This is stupid.” Wingus finally admitted. “I apologise for starting this stupid thing.”

“Apology accepted.” Fireball said, “It looks like we’re stuck with each other, it might as well be on good terms.”

The two beings shook hands and stood awkwardly for an unspecified amount of time, before Wingus eventually spoke up.

“Right.” He said. “You make stars and rocks and stuff, you’ve had practice. I’ll just stick to perfecting this ‘life’ thing I’ve got planned out.”

“Sounds fine to me.” Fireball agreed, and the gods went their separate ways, the fire setting out repairing his galaxy while Wingus began his little experiment.

He borrowed one of the larger rocks that his co-god had created and studied it closely. He couldn’t make the same mistake as he did the last time and allow his creations to become his equals. No, for this plan to work they had to be extremely limited but capable of extraordinary power. Enough power to kill a god.

First things first, Wingus dipped a finger into his own formless body and pulled out a solitary drop of himself, hanging off the tip. He delicately touched this onto the rock and watched as it filled the deeper fissures, clinging onto the little gravity of the rock. Wingus inspected this new mottled ball with pleasure, and decided that this was a good start for his prize piece. It wasn’t yet ready, however, and He thought it was a little bit barren for the final product to thrive as he needed them to. With a fingernail, Wingus scraped some of himself off the surface of His hand and sprinkled the dust on the remaining rock above the water level. From this fertile dust, green grasses and lush forests sprung up all over the land as clouds formed and swirled above. From among the vegetation animals emerged and frolicked and reproduced. It was almost done, only a few final pieces remained to be completed.

When He was sure Fireball wasn’t looking, Wingus reached into the one place that his acquaintance couldn’t go, due to him being His creation: the time before time, Wingus’s home. He tore a small hole in time and space and put his hand inside, withdrawing it with a fistfull of dripping black gunge. The substance was so dark it seemed to suck in all the light around it. He put it down and reached back into the hole again, but this time his hand came out filled with an entirely opposite gloop, this type was bright white and threw out light in every direction. Wingus set it down next to the other pile and closed up the hole, never to be reopened. He set to work on His final creation.

The two piles were impossible. They were remnants from before things were, and as such they weren’t. They were the essence of right and wrong, left and right, yes and no. They were concepts, manifest. Well, they weren’t really but there isn’t any other way to describe something from outside the universe. Wingus took some clay from the Fireball and mixed some in with each pile, making it more tangible until it wasn’t very clear that they were anything but balls of clay.

Now all he needed was a shape. He considered making them in his own image, before remembering that he had no image. Wingus fiddled with the design for some time before sitting back to look at what he’d done. The end result was a tall, thin specimen with long gangly arms and legs and a small round head perched on top with a rounded skull. He hated it and mushed the clay back into an unrecognisable lump, starting from scratch.

After much faffing about, Wingus was finally happy with his design. The two models were tall, slender and equine; their features large and expressive. They looked innocent and lovely, just what He needed. After adding a touch of colour and finish: one dark blue and the other pure white, they were ready to be released into the world as living things, but so much more.

Wingus plopped the two ponies down onto the rock and animated them in a forest clearing, surrounded in bountiful food and gushing streams. To finish off his planet he made a small yet bright light and another, dimmer one and put them hovering in the vicinity directly outside the atmosphere to replace his own light when he wasn’t there any more. An added benefit was keeping his new creations occupied moving them around so they would get a sense of power and influence that they would need to complete their task.

***

Down on the planet, Celestia and Luna sat up, bewildered, and looked around them with wonder. Hundreds of thoughts flowed through their minds simultaneously, filling them with mysterious information.

“Well this is a bit odd.” Celestia remarked, rising to her hooves gracefully, despite it being the first time she’d ever moved. “I know so many things, but I remember nothing. And somehow I know that that is an unusual feeling, even with it being all I know.”

“I understand your situation, sister, as I share it.” Luna replied, also standing up and peering into the woods around her. “I am sure all will become clear.”

***

Wingus knew he had to go down and brief his new creations on what was going on, but he had yet to decide how to do it. He had to be comprehensible to them, so his current form was impossible, and he couldn’t look exactly like them or it would confuse things. Wingus suddenly got the idea to go as the failed attempt at intelligent life from earlier, but the face creeped him out. No matter, thought Wingus, I will just give it a pony’s head.

He took on the desired form, zapped down onto his homemade planet and stood in front of the two ponies he just made.

“Hello ladies.” He said.