Big Mac Gets His Dick Stuck in a Scotch Bottle

by Granpappy

Rating: mature
Tags: Big Macintosh, Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1311

Bigs Mac's raging libido causes him to stick his engorged manhood into a bottle of Granny Smith's priceless scotch.

Some horses can handle their libido, others however...

Ladies and gentle, stallions and mares, tonight I present to you This is the heartfelt and tragic tale of Big Mac's attempt to unstick his man staff from a bottle of Granny Smiths scotch.

Published 2014-05-13 09:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-13 09:50:02 UTC

Super Cool Opening Chapter

The powerful pony's pulsating penis pounded the unsuspecting tub of ice cream. The large workhorse was close to ejaculation, he was running out of stamina,he had to work harder. The pony let out a mighty roar and then he thrust once more, causing him to cum literal buckets into the delicious dairy delight. He packed the remaining ice cream into the hole where his penis once lay, ready for Applebloom's desert. The pony placed the ice cream back in the freezer and peered around the room, his libido was not yet satisfied and he wanted more things to stick his peen into. He ripped open the cupboard and looked for something to satiate his hunger, when his gaze was drawn to a large glad bottle, Granny Smiths prized scotch bottle,from 1850. Big Mac swiped the scotch bottle from the shelf, opened it and stuck his engorged penis into the priceless bottle, thrusting back and forth. Big Mac realised that his penis had stopped moving back and forth, and a sudden burning pain fill his shaft, he looked down to see that his enlarged penis was stuck in the scotch bottle.

"What the fuck is this shit?" Thought Big Mac, however, due to his immense mental retardation, all that escaped his lips with a confused "Eeeyup?".

The workhorse panicked, he couldn't spend the rest of his life with a scotch bottle protruding from his massive erection. He writhed through the kitchen in a attempt to remove the bottle, however, it was much like a Canternese hoof trap, the more he struggled, the tighter it became. After several minutes of fucking stupid writhing, he realised that he would not be able to get the bottle of scotch off by rolling around on the floor like an idiot. He decided that the only appropriate course of action would be to to fucking beat the shit out of the cunt scotch bottle, he was about to grab his hammer, when he had a really cool looking flashback to the the fateful 'glass jar' incident, which I won't describe because I'm fat and lazy. Big Mac hesitated, as he knew all to well how painful it was when glass slid down the tip of your penis, he would have to find another way...

Omg Applejacks in it now.

Applejack was busy in the yard Applebucking. The apples fell to the ground in great number, becoming bruised and disgusting, because they fell out of a fucking tree. It was well past sunset and she had only just finished the last tree in the orchard, due to her immensely long masturbation brakes, and was ready to go to bed. She had just loaded the apples into the cart when she noticed her immensely hot hulk of a brother galloping towards her.

"What in the w'orld is goin' on 'ere?" Queried the workhorse, out loud, because she too suffers from mental retardation.

"Help, help! I have a scotch bottle stuck to my pleasure staff and it's cutting of circulation!" Yelled Big Mac, or he would have, but a terrified "Eeeyup" was all that came out."

Applejack gazed quizzically at the terrified face of her brother, and wondered what could have caused such a big stallion to become so frightened. It was at this point that she saw the large bottle of Granny Smith's scotch attached to his shaft, and what appeared to be a large bruise forming on his penis.

"Aww, gosh darn it!" Exclaimed Applejack, "have you been sticking your staff inta' shit ag'en?" Apple jack turned to her brother and laughed, whilst slapping her knee viciously, much like the average American would. "Let me see if I can get this offa' y'all."

Applejack gripped the bottle on Big Mac's cock tightly, and began to pull. Big Mac tried to walk backwards to help with the effort, unfortunately, the immense rubbing of the bottle on Big Macs cock was immensely pleasurable, and he was quickly working his way up to an orgasm. Before he knew it, seamen was filling the scotch bottle at immense speeds. The seamen had run out of room in the bottle and took the path of least resistance out, and began snaking back through his penis. Big Mac could feel the cum flowing through his stomach, into his bowel and up through the remainder of his intestinal track, until he could eventually feel it crawling up his throat. Without warning, a downpour of seamen, shit, blood and stomach acid burst through the work horses mouth and showered Applejack. The unsuspecting mare tore away from her brother, as the stomach acid began to dissolve her skin. Big Mac could only watch in horror as the blood seamen and shit flowed into her acid wounds and entered her blood stream, and Big Mac's plethora of sexually transmitted diseases began to infect his sister. Big Mac had to do something quickly, he turned his head one hundred and eighty degrees and shot a burst of the terrible substance back at the apple orchard, cutting through several trees.

After his amazing orgasm he turned back to the glob of flesh that was once his sister. Tears welled up in his eyes as he saw the terrible damage that his seamen cannon had caused. Several bones were visible, and it was evident, even to Big Mac's 'special' brain, that his jizz cannon had caused severe internal damage, and Big Mac's super herpes had already begun to manifest themselves in Applejacks innards, her hair was stained white from seamen, and covered in shit. The workhorse walked over to the mangled wreck of his sister, and tears began to well in his eyes.

"Now, don't be upset big feller'," said applejack with a sad smile, "I know it looks bad, but it'll be fine, I promise, Applejack let out a terrible cough.

"I'm so sorry, Applejack, I love you so much." Thought Big Mac, but again, all the exited his mouth was a timid, "Eeyup."

The workhorse gestured for Big Mac to come closer. "Jus'... Take care a' Applebloom for me, will ya'?"

Big Mac nodded, and his sister died. Then he grabbed her boob and giggled.

"Bitch." He said to himself with a smile.

Just then Applebloom emerged from behind a bush.

"What the fuck, cuntwaggle?" Screeched Applebloom, "I thought you couldn't speak!"

Big Mac turned to his sister, and began to peel the layers of his face. Applebloom stood back and gazed in horror, she saw who her brother really was. Under the mask of flesh, was discord. He leant in close, and whispered into Applebloomd ear...

"This is a ruse."

Applebloom eats the ice cream. Because fuck you.

Applebloom wandered into the kitchen, she had just finished detention and she sure was hungry! She opened the cupboard and peered inside, nothing worth eating, just a shitload of bruised and disgusting apples, because they fucking fell out of trees.

"We really need a better way of harvesting apples..." Muttered Applebloom.

She closed the cupboard and began a thorough search of the kitchen. She searched the pantries, she searched under the sink, she searched in the fridge, she even sifted through Applejack's lesbian porn in an attempt to find some sort of cracker that she had stuck to the magazine with her juices. Applebloom was beginning to lose hope, when she opened a freezer and squealed in delight, a large tub of vanilla ice cream. She pulled it out and looked at it greedily.

"No need to share this with, Applejack." She said with longing in her voice.

She got a spoon and dug into the ice cream, savouring every taste. She put spoonful after spoonful into her innocent foal mouth, not realising the sheer disgusting, incestuous nature of her simple act.

"Weird," said Applebloom with a shrug, "this vanilla sauce tastes salty."