Author's Note
Reach
I fixed my jacket as the mist faded around us. "So, all the papers signed off and sent out?"
The pony next to me sat on her haunches and nodded. "I don't exactly know how happy everypony will be about you taking that rock for money, but there's not much I can do about it."
I nodded. "I payed, it's all squared away and the king will have a nice new statute or whore." I nodded briskly. "Amazing, isn't it?" I turned to the rather large pony. "Back home you could never do something like this. You could never just buy a castle, a title, land. You'd have to go through so much, yet here I am. I promise to keep the law, to be fair, and suddenly I'm a baron." I put my hands behind me and held them together. “Personally I think it’s horrid. But, I’m not a king.”
The head-height pony nodded and flipped through a few papers sitting in her hoof. “Still only a baron, it’s not the end all. You’re one of five, so keep a sorted ego otherwise the count might decide to stomp you.”
I shook my head. “I know. Believe me, if I wanted to take over the land, I would have bought an army, not a castle. Although I suppose the option is still open.”
The pony looked up at me with a confused look. “What did you say you sold?”
“I don’t sell anything.” I turned to face her, my hands still crossed behind my back. “Transport is king, and a man with the blueprints for a faster train in Equestria tends to make quite a bit of money.”
The pony shook her head. “Didn’t it turn out that blueprint was stolen?”
I laughed softly. “Yes, but by who? I can tell you it probably wasn’t me.” I rubbed my nose. “Probably. And even if it was, victimless crime.”
The pony hummed and went back over her notes. “To be honest I don’t care, and I don’t think anypony on any of the islands will care either.”
“No, if I’d take the prints for a boat, then I’d be in a shitstorm, right?” I laughed to myself. “It honestly wasn’t that bad. It was under public domain, just not exactly all that nice of me to do it.” I watched the misty abyss before us slowly bleed back to dull stone landing. “Either way, it wasn’t illegal, or stealing even…. It was just rude. I took something that was going to be given away, and sold it to the highest bidder. It wasn’t even fraud, that pony made his money back before the prints were released to the public.”
The pony shook her head. “Rude.”
“Oh extremely.” I laughed and returned my arms to my back. “But, I would rather be rude and rebuild a town, then be honest and sit while ponies crouch in the fucking mud.” I rubbed my chin, the waxy feeling of my gloves on my skin made my shoulders creep. “The Hollow isn’t a very nice name either, should probably--”
“They won’t let you change the name.” The pony stood up and walked me towards the edge of the ship. The large paddle housing on the side let out a loud whoosh every few seconds. “And yes, The Hollow isn’t in the best shape. But you’re no Robbing Hoof, you’re too much of a bastard.”
I waved her away as the ship pulled towards the dock. “Oh I know. But a bastard that wants to see something built. And honestly, I’m really just here to watch things grow. A baron is nothing without the people around him, and what good would money do me?”
The pony grunted as the boat slid towards the dock. A few giant ponies, little more than six to seven feet tall, were waiting on the long stone dock. “I suppose. I don’t think the king really would have sold to somepony he didn’t think would do it right. He must have saw something in you, aside from the money--”
I held my hands out. The mist around us seemed to turn to fog as the long steam pipe in the ship let go and made a warm cloud just overhead. “I made a bet that I could go to Equestria and make something of myself, they said I’d go and get mugged. And you know what, I haven’t been mugged yet, and I’ve still got a long way to go to be a hero, but I’ll be damned if I sit around and do nothing.” I shook my head and returned my arms behind my back. “And the money didn’t hurt.”
The mare with the papers laughed softly. “It never does.” She ripped off a piece of paper with her hoof. “Well, here. Your proof, and your dynastic information.” She pulled out a large wooden crest. “Oh, and the crest of Castle Hollow. Good luck.”
I took the papers and held them against the carving. “I’ll do my best then.” I nodded to her and stepped towards the plank a few ponies were busy laying across the ship and down onto the dock. I stepped quickly down and up towards the ponies waiting on the dock.
The tallest one walked up to me, a decent half a foot taller than me. “Thomas Charge?”
I nodded. “In the flesh.”
The tallest pony nodded. “Glad ta’ meet ya then.” He stomped his hoof. “Ya mongrel.”
I smiled at me. “Nice.”
A pony with a bright white mane walked up to me and shoved the tallest back. “Sorry about him. Not a fan of the ape ponies, now are we?” He glared back at the giant. He snorted and turned to face me. “Only been a few barons that weren’t ponies. Only a few that weren’t Fetlock ponies. Last one was about twenty years ago, and he got done in for fraud.”
“A shame.” I glared back at the giant. “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ve given me a name yet.”
The white maned pony smiled at me. “Count Ire of South Reach. Your Count.”
I smiled at him. “Hmm, came down just to greet me then?”
He nodded. “Well, given that you bought your way in, I wanted to make sure you knew just how much respect I give you.”
“None at all?”
The pony snorted. “Be fair, there is a modicum.” He laughed. “Maybe a bit more if you have a sense of humor about it.”
I rubbed my chin. “A human in the land of ponies, buying up a title from a long dead baron? Completely butting his way into an age old pony tradition just because he’s wealthy?” I shook my head. “No, couldn’t be a man with a sense of humor.”
The count snorted. “Oh you’re already better than the last. Last one was a Saddle Arabian, went and married into a family.” He laughed. “Hopefully you’ll turn out better.”
“I’ll be sure to make an effort then.” I walked to his side and towards the mainland. Dark green grass and moss clung to the edges of the steps up the hill. “Now how about someone shows me to home? Or should I ride you like the horse you are?”
The two ponies with the Count turned to me in a flash. “You listen to--”
The Count laughed softly. “If you need to, I don’t think you’re fit enough to be a baron.”
I shrugged. “Then I suppose I’ll have to lose weight.”
The Count walked past me. “Couldn’t hurt.” He walked up the steps towards the hills from the dock. “Got all your papers in order, then I got a little surprise for ya.”
I cocked my eyebrow. “Is it shit?” I walked up after the ponies. “Because from where I am, it looks like shit.”
The Count laughed again. “It’s a smart pony that makes a stallion in power laugh.”
“Oh I’m sure I’ll see exactly what you mean when the king comes by.” I hurried up after the large ponies. “Hmm, so can I ask a question?”
The Count reached the top of the stairs and turned to face me. “Aye, I suppose.”
I hopped up the oddly large steps. “You’re ponies, but what exactly--”
“Can’t tell ya.” The Count nodded. “We have unicorns, and pegasus, and earth all the same. But we’re just bigger.” He nodded. “Sorry if I cut ya off, I’ve heard that question quite a bit.” He shook his head. “Gonna ask ya this one though, shouldn’t your kind be stickin’ to the mainland? I didn’t think you’d like the cold very much. What with the no coat thing, I thought ya’d be better in the heat.”
I smiled at him and stepped up onto the bluff overlooking a long dark green field towards a town. A castle in the distance pulled me back in time. “Oh, humans? We’re adaptable. Ponies didn’t seem to have much of a problem, why would we?”
The giant Count huffed. “Assumptions. Now, I’ve got court to hold, Shoddy, go take Sir. Charge to his new home. Oh, and tell the ponies in The Hollow they’ve got a new Baron.”
A large pony with a braid in his massive green mane nodded and looked down at me. “Oi, up then little fucker.”
I popped my eyebrows. “Well, how vulgar.” I stretched my free arm. “So can I stop talking like this?”
The Count laughed softly. “What, you don’t want to act like a pompous shit the entire time you’re here?” He lifted his hoof and drew a circle in the air. “Were doing that behind the back thing on the boat.”
I put my hands behind my back again. “This? I just like doing this.” I tucked my notes and the crest against my side. “Either way, it’s getting late.” I looked towards the green mane and spotted a long hoof rest dangling from a harness on his side. “You have somewhere I can--”
He bumped his flank towards me. A massive set of bags were resting over his back. “Load up, hold on.”
I nodded. I stuffed the papers and crest away. “Well then Mr. Ire, I’ll see you later.” I grabbed the side harness and slipped my hoof into the odd strap dangling from the pony’s side. I looked like one of those action movie characters holding on to the outside of a speeding van.
The Count nodded to me. “Oh, by the way, the castle’s empty, I made sure there was some hay for a bed, but it’s unstaffed and unfurnished, so that’s on you!”
I felt a frown dig into my cheeks as the green stallion charged off. “Great.” I held on tight as the dark green land under me was torn up under his hooves. The massive celtic style buildings, cone roofs and all, stood out with a distinct village silhouette.
I looked up to the green mane pony. “So, how much hate am I going to get?”
The green mane slowed to a trot and looked back at me. “Hate?”
I looked down at my coat. “For being human.”
The green mane nodded. “Ahh, not too much. Nobles don’t like any other bloody noble, but for the most part you’ll find whoever’s whoever here. Pony, griffon, few dragons nesting in one of the mountain islands round here. We don’t complain about who we get, so long as they don’t mind the cold or the sea monsters.”
I scratched my head. “Hmm, seemed like they didn’t like me too much.”
The green maned stallion laughed loudly. “Don’t let them get unda’ your skin. Bunch of nepotistic sods.” He trotted along briskly. “Just be a good pony, treat the land and the common ponies alright, and you’ll be fine.” He snorted. “Best advice aside from that, don’t get involved in politics, and have a large family.” He snorted again. “Yer kind can breed with ponies right?”
I rubbed my chin. “We can. Happened not too long ago if I recall right.”
The stallion laughed, following up with another snort. “Gonna get a herd quick then, ponies looking to get a little bit of power gonna throw themselves or their fillies at ya.” He snorted yet again.
“Hey, you alright?”
The green mane snorted again. “Aye…. Just got some breathing issues as of late.” He snorted again as we traveled down a long cobble road. A few other giants were slowly making their way across the land. “Nothing to worry about, just getting older.”
I grunted. “If you say so. Should still get it checked.”
The green mane nodded. “I will when I have time. But, got ponies to escort.”
