Rarity the armaggeddeon

by mehperson

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1159

Rarity may kill us all.......

Rarity is revealed to be the key to kill us all with one choice......

Published 2014-05-14 06:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-14 06:50:03 UTC

The Whole Story

Author's Note

Legends aren't just for sucking your :yay: and making you say that they are awesome! They are to guide you! Now, here is my :yay: ed guide to y'all.
Just check your colouring stuff in the colour thy words thing and the answer is before you. Just scroll down.

The Whole Story

"Rarity!!" Twilight Sparkle shouted to the unicorn.

"What?"Rarity asked angrily.

"Me just learned that thou may be the cause of destruction!!!!"

"Why are you shouting at me with your horrible English?"

"It is the author's fault."

"Whatever do you mean Pinkie?"

"We are actually in fanfiction."

"You need help. Anyway, Twilight, what do you mean."

Twilight explained that there is a legacy about a pony whose horn could attract apples (as in the fruit) but its behaviour could goes against the Apples ( as in the family ) that holds the key to the world's construction or destruction. Rarity nodded and said that that was true. When she about to ask why she came and tha she will never turn her back against her friends even though she was not the Element of Loyalty when Twilight explained EVERYTHING.

"Bad people may manipulate you to destroy atoms, bacteria and molecules. Atoms, molecules and bacteria makes up everything that..."

"I GET IT!!!!"Rarity interupted.

"That is gooooooood."

"Why did you drag the 'good' and where the fuck is Pinkie."

"I am a ninja!"Pinkie shouted as she jumped out of the shadows with a ninja blade. Rarity dismissed it as bullsh*t ( she actually said it).

A turtle exploded twice at that moment. However, it was considered normal in Equestria so nopony cared.

"Rarity, if you become EVIIIIIILLLL, you will die."

"How?"

"By meeeeeeeee"

"Author, please give Twilight back her amazing English and her intelligence."

"Whatever do you mean Pinkie? I concocted a plan to stop Rarity from destroying the world."

"Ok. Author, please make Twilight stupid and not-so-perfect English again."

"What is one plus one?"

"Just do what you did just now."

"Anyway, Rarity, I will kill thou!!!"

Rarity ran with a knife that magically appeared in her hoof. She ripped the space time continueom and became DOCTOR WHOOVES. She battles her arch-nemisis, Twilight Sparkle in PILLOW FIGHTS. P is so majestic!

"I will blast you with my pillow!"

"Me too!!"

They both died then got reborned then fought. Princess Celestia banished both of them to THE MOON where they fought with Moonstones. Luna saw what they did then banished them to the SUN where they fought with fire. They got burned to death. They were magically reborn again then they evolved into dragons.

"Die Twilight Sparkle! You must perish from my fire blast!"

Princess Cadence saw what happened then made them fall in love for no reason. They got married and had kids. Then they fought with WORDS.

"Twilight, you are a bafoon."

Twilight had enough of losing to her and then she did Awkwad Danced! It worked perfectly. Rarity fainted for a second. Then, she beautified her. Twillight attracted stallions after that. She decided, however, to stay true to her love so that she would not lose money. She kissed their children. They kept asking for more and then Twilight's lips stayed in kissing position and her new name was Kisser.

One day, Rarity became evil. She began killing people. Suddenly, she sang 'Let The Fart Go! Can't Hold It back anymore!'. She then farted. The world exploded thrice. Lava poured out of volcanoes. Everyone died.

"I did not die, Author."

Then the author killed Pinkie for the story.

Ok. Not really

Rarity magically survived along with some other ponies. She then went on a rampage because she was evil. Twilight survived. So did Pinkie.

"I thought you killed me"

The author facehoofed then said,"Cause I can! Do you want me to kill you again!"

Pinkie swallowed then shook her head. The author felt victorious, glorified, proud.....

"WE GET IT!" They shouted in unison.

A spirit came and tried to kill Rarity. Rarity kill her again.

"Thou are Rarity and I shall kill thou."

"Author, please!"

Author then slapped Pinkie then limboed in a limo because she can. Anyway, Rarity fought Twilight again. She was a dragon. Twilight then wriggled on the floor.

"Could you please make the story make sense?!"complained Pinkie.

"Never and since when did YOU care, huh? Since when did you have control? I have control and I do not care!" The amazing, glorified and victorious Author replied.

"Whatever."

Twilight challenged Rarity to a massaging contest. Rarity won by 1/1000000000000000000 points but that still counted. Then, Rarity challenged Twilight to a pole dancing contest and Twilight won with all her sexiness.

"I wish I could complain but the Author tied me up."

"Shut up!" The author shouted "You agreed to."

Pinkie slumped.

Twilight attacked Rarity with her sharp table legs. It was so sharp. Rarity retaliated with a knife-that-can-not-do-shit-but-I-added-it-anyway. It was flawless. They had a staring contest but a spirit tried to kill them so they both blinked. Pinkie was a disco~~ntent~~ on the beach. Everyone died.

The end.

RIP.

RIP.

Here lies the fourth wall

It was useless. Basically. The killers were the Author and her nemisis, Pinkie. They killed it by talking. Ironic, I know. But hey, it WAS the Author's fault. She set it on fire.
Not!
Shut up
Why are we still fighting?
I have no idea
This is a grave stone
I KNOW
Then why are we talking and how am I alive?
I have no idea for the first question and I have power and I brought you back.
Let us continue.
It was an amazing friend. We ate cupcakes by the fire. Made by Pinkie. They were amazing. Let us mourn. *teardrop* I wish we had more barbecues. I was going to propose to it. I loved it the moment I saw it. Marry me in the afterlife. I have a ring. I need money.

Here lies Twilight
I mocked her. She was sexy. She was amazing. Pole dancer. She was the embodiment of something. She was amazing, anyway. I need pencils. I wanted to tell her that she was adopted by her parents. She was too sexy to be told. She was brilliant until she went insane going about Rarity being the armaggeddeon. Yes, the legend was a lie. Rarity was actually always evil. Just kidding. BE BRILLIANT. The legacy was really a lie ,though. She loved it so much that she wanted to marry it. BUT DID NOT LET HER. Rest in Peace. I STILL DO NOT LET YOU MARRY THE LEGACY EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE DEAD.

Here lies Rarity
Kiss me. Spike wanted me to say that to you. I am random. The last thing she saw before she did was Twilight's ass. It was then she realised that she was sexy. Rarity was a maniac. LOVE SPIKE FOR ME.

Author's Note

First dude speaking was Pinkie.