LoHAV characters (and other people) Vs. A Rubber Wall?

by Phantaphetamine

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 1963

Not a single one of them expected their next adversary to be... a rubber wall. Furthermore, not a single one of them even expected how difficult it was to take down said wall.

Now then, I am known as the Summoner, perhaps you've heard of me, yes?

Right, so I was in the middle of the Everfree, you know, taking a stroll, trying to prevent myself from going insane from this madness, the usual stuff.

My stroll, however, was interrupted by an old foe of mine. I really want to sigh right now, I've made quite the number of adversaries during my stay here.

Bla bla bla, I ran into a cave, you know, in hopes to loose my pursuer. That, was a mistake in my part, however.

I was sealed in the cave as my assailant blasted the entrance with a powerful magic blast, causing large amounts of rubble to fall on said entrance.

So now I'm stuck here, in this stupid cave, wandering blindly. Suddenly, I found my way out of here, a certain unicorn told me so, unfortunately for me however, the exit was also sealed off by wall… made of rubber.

Well, this can't possibly take too much effort to demolish it, right? I mean, with this book, I can bring it down with ease.

Hey, wait, why's the book glowing red?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-16 02:30:02 UTC

A rubber wall? Are you serious?

   As you may know, I am a human being that somehow winded up in Equestria with a particular book that can summon beings from alternate universes to work for me.

   I am known as the Summoner.

   Of course, whenever I'm not being hunted down, being chased down in a river, getting one of my fingers cut off, I take a stroll in the Everfree. And that is what I'm currently doing.

   I wandered through my usual route, taking in the sights of the forest. Sure, there were a lot of vicious predators around the Everfree, but, that doesn't matter, I have my trusty book to summon things.

  Talking about the book, I currently have no summoned minions right now. Why? I was in a raid, which I was coerced- er, "persuaded" into participating by my bane torturer colleague, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings.

  So, anyways, the raid was simple, there's a big compound stocked with herbs and other ingredients that the changelings wanted in order to prototype some sort of tranquilizer, or whatever it was they were so obsessed about.

  Basically, the plan was this, me and my legion of headcrabs, my minions at that time, would storm the depot, which would cause the gryphons to focus their attention on repelling my army, thus, giving Chrysalis and her changelings an ample opportunity to pillage the cache of ingredients.

  Some sort of signal would be given when the changelings are prepared to leave the area. Yes, some sort of signal, they never specified what it would be, Chrysalis simply said, "You'll know it when you see it."

  Yeah, that was extremely helpful of her.

  It started storming as we made our to our target, no, it was heavily squalling, raindrops pelted me as we marched. And as if this day couldn't get worse, a sandwich I made earlier slipped from my hand and into the cold, cold dirt below. How tragic.

  Things did not go as plan, however, my headcrab army got slaughtered to the point where only a handful of them was left on the battlefield. The gryphon defenders were just too many and overwhelmed my headcrabs, oh, and the fact that they can just simply fly was also an advantage those bastards had.

  Panicky, I un-summoned the remnants of my once terrifying army of head-latching aliens, and summoned a new batch of minions.

  To my utmost astonishment and horror, the book summoned a bunch of ducks. Yes, you heard me right, a bunch of ducks, nothing special about them, they were just ordinary ducks, no laser beams, no rocket launchers, no acid-spit, nothing. If this is some sort of crude joke, it's not funny.

  Thankfully, I was using a tactic that many would look down at, I was hiding under a bush the whole time, so, fleeing was relatively easy for me.

   However, I was unsure whether or not those changelings are done taking all of the materials, so, I waited. Peeking through my leafy cover, I spotted the gryphons, many of them were wielding cross-bows, some wielded spears.

   Although, the cross-bows were probably the downfall of my poor headcrab army.

   Then there it was, a greenish magical flare shot upwards from the compound to the sky, bewildering some of the gryphons. Taking that as the sign to go, I un-summoned my useless, yet adorable swarm of ducks, and made a mad dash back to the area where we agreed to meet up, a nearby clearing.

    Bolting through the murky Everfree, I tripped and fell directly into a mud puddle, staining my dark robes. With an annoyed growl, I continued my dash through the forest. Thunder roared as I traversed through the muddied grounds of the Everfree, drop after drop of rainwater assaulted me, nonetheless, I still made it to the clearing.

    Bla bla bla, I made it back home, not even getting paid and what-not by Chrysalis. Unfortunately, I didn't exactly have spare clothes lying around, so I had to, um, get, er naked to avoid being frozen to death.

    Some sobbing later, I decided to call it a day and headed towards my bed chambers. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes, it didn't take long to fall into the grasp of slumber, despite the fact that I was shivering the whole time, nights in the Everfree is quite cold.

   And then morning finally arrived, stepping out of bed, I head out to reach for my dark robes, with complimentary cloak, and began to walk outside, but not before reaching for my book, of course, never leave home without it. Thankfully, the book was in fact water-proof, so, no need to worry about it getting wet.

   Stepping out of my castle, I noticed that the weather was surprisingly nice today, it was as if the very weather itself was telling me to go out on a stroll. I was skeptical, but, I did take a stroll, despite my suspicion. Like, come on, the sun is shining, and there was not a single dark cloud in the sky.

   And here I am now, walking through the mysterious depths of the Everfree, every once in a while, I'd see something interesting, such as a flower that I wouldn't probably try to remember what it's name is.

   I sighed in boredom as I walked, "Well, this got rather dull fairly quick."

   Perhaps now's the time to head back? Nah, that would be too soon.

   Just in front of me, I saw something, something that I feared, it was Princess Luna. I dove to the nearest bush I could find, and took a look at the midnight blue alicorn.

   She appears to be searching through the forest, no doubt that she's searching for me, after all, I was the one that managed to critically injure her sister.

   As soon as she passed by, I took a sigh of relief, and left my cover, "Phew, can't believe she didn't see me." I said, facing towards the direction she went, "I wonder why she's alone? Doesn't she have guards for this?"

  "There! There he is! The Summoner!" a shout emanated just a few feet away from me. I looked towards the source of it, and big surprise, I saw a pony adorned in armor, with even more ponies wearing the same armor behind him.

   Without hesitation, I scuttled out of there as far as I can. Running for my life, I could hear it, the gallops of those equine guards, no doubt that they were just right behind me.

   Not looking back, I spotted a cave just a couple of feet away from me. Now, it was either head in the cave and risk being mauled to death by a manticore, or get captured, and probably get killed later by Luna. There was no possible way that I could outrun these equine bastards.

  "Oh, screw it!" I bellowed before bolting into the cave. I spotted what seems to be a sizable boulder in the cave. Taking cover behind it, I looked at my pursuers.

   Oddly enough, not a single of them was even trying to chase me, they were all surrounding the cave entrance. Soon enough, the lunatic, Luna, arrived.

   She glared at the cave with a frown, that is, until it changed into a wicked smirk, which slightly confused me. Her horn began to flow with a blue light before she took aim at the upper part of the entrance.

   Realization struck me, "Of course, she's going to trap me in." I muttered silently, but before I could do anything, an exceptionally powerful ray of magic shot from her horn and directly at the top of the entrance.

   The shock-wave was enough to make me stagger downwards and devastating enough to cause rubble to fall down on the entrance, blocking whoever is in the cave from escaping.

  "Oh no, this is bad." I shouted to myself, "Alright, alright, I'll just have to summon an army that can destroy the rubble. No, no, they'd expect that, they're probably waiting at the other side."

    I looked around the cave, expecting to find nothing of interest. And I did find nothing, save for a lit torch being held on the side of the wall with some sort of holder specifically designed for torches.

   How did I not notice that earlier? Ugh, whatever this place is, this is probably some sort of hideout of some sort, which is incredibly bad for me, should whoever inhabits this place be another miniature equine.

   I took the torch with my right hand, and proceeded to go deeper into the cave, walking through the cave, I saw more, and more lit torches.

   I was about to collapse from tiredness, but then, I saw a huge metallic door just across the pathway of the cave. I took a good look of it, suddenly, it began to swing open.

   I prepared for whatever was coming, raising my torch upwards. A familiar mare with a brilliant azure coat, an eye-color of violet, a pale, corn-flower blue mane.

   It was Trixie Lulamoon.

   She shrieked in astonishment as she saw me, causing me to slightly recoil in surprise as a result. She stares at me with wide eyes, before shifting her facial expression with a more annoyed-slash-angered one.

  "Hey! What is the point of point of giving the Great and Powerful Trixie, Summoner!" she yelled in annoyance, well, not exactly yelled, her tone's volume was normal, but just slightly higher.

    Yes, me and Trixie are colleagues as well. Why? I won't tell you, you just have to wait for more chapters of The Summoner to find out, I don't want to give spoilers or whatever.

  "Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you too, Trixie." I deadpanned, "Anyways, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

  "Trixie should be the one asking you that." she replied.

  "I was, uh, running from Luna. I kinda encountered her while taking a walk around the Everfree. And long story short, I ran as fast as I could, I found this cave, and then she proceeds to blockade the entrance by causing rubble to fall on it."

  "Yes, yes, that's quite interesting- Wait, did you say that she blocked the entrance?" she asked, concern obviously present in her voice.

   Now, I was completely panicking, but, I concealed my panic, "Um, let me guess, there's no way out of here... "

   "No, no there isn't!" she shouted at me, "Wait, wait, there is one way out of here." she held the gates opened completely with her telekinesis and pointed a hoof at something.

   I took a look at whatever she was pointing at, to my confusion it was some sort of rubber wall. But, what's most surprising is the fact that this door led to a colossal arena of some sort. The arena resembled that of the old coliseums that gladiators of old fought in.

   Except, the stone used in building this place looked as if it was bronze, and that there was some sort of huge spherical orb attached in the center of the ceiling, illuminating the entire arena.

  I paused before replying, taking my time to process everything, "Woah, I did not expect this, but, if that wall leads to the exit, I'm going to demolish it."

  I grabbed my book, flipping to a blank page, curiously, the book was glowing red aura. Dismissing it, I chanted, "Summon, summon, summon!"

  Instead of the normal red rift appearing, a bluish portal opened on the ground instead, suddenly a hand rose from it.