The gym teacher

        I woke up to the annoying sounds of my alarm clock. Sluggishly, I outstretched my hand and grabbed empty space in an attempt to reach that fucking clock. Finally, after a few frustrating attempts, I grabbed my alarm clock and smashed it against the far side of the wall "Bullocks, that's the fourth this week…" I mumbled half asleep as I rose up from my bed, rubbing my eyes in the process "I need to stop throwing my alarm clocks..."

I then took a glance towards my fancy sh'mancy wristwatch; it was five A.M in the morning. I grunted in annoyance but stepped outside my apartment nonetheless, I did my morning exercise routine and stepped back inside, drenched in sweat and feeling like shit. By the time I was clean, it was already six thirty. I grabbed a cup of coffee and drank its contents in one, single gulp, feeling the holy nectar slowly rejuvenate my energy.

I rose up, sighed, and headed out of my apartment. I opened up the newspaper as I casually strode through the streets of Canterlot, heading towards the castle for yet another agonizing day of work. Nothing in the newspaper caught my attention, spare for some fugitives that took refuge in the deserts, a few hate crimes and all sorts of bad shit. But this world wasn't Earth, I can't believe I'm saying that, but I kinda miss Afghanistan. It didn't help that I was stationed in Canterlot, training a bunch of good-for-nothings so they could have a fancy 'Guard' badge and a good lawyer in case they kill a prostitute.

Yes… I'm the definition of miserable; life is too calm, in a bad sense. I have a nice job, not too shabby apartment (in the capital no less), and nothing bad ever happens here, fan-fucking-tastic...

I took a turn as I entered the palace's grounds and paced all the way towards the barracks, I went to my office and changed my clothes so I was now wearing a military uniforms, I went back to the courtyard and idly watched the scene in front of me, the guards already started their training, humans and ponies alike. A human guard approached me and saluted, I returned the gesture.

"Sir…" the guard stammered

"What is it cadet!" I snarled, clearly not in the mood.

"I- I have been sent by Sergeant William, he wants to see you right away…" the guard hurried to say.

I nodded and turned around briskly "Dismissed." I howled before starting walking towards Sergeant William's office. The walk took about five minutes, and during that time, I couldn't help but wonder why William would ask for me… again.

it was really confusing; I didn't step out of the line, at least not during the last month. Sure, there was the occasional disregard of the rules but that was hardly any reason to summon me. Then happened the most annoying thing I could've ever experience. I bumped into Daniil Millovich…

"Watch where you're going you prick!" He hissed with a heavy Russian accent.

"Go fuck a Latvian you twat, I don't have time dealing with you." I resorted with a hefty amount of venom in my voice as much as I could spare.

Daniil scowled but continued walking past me, swearing in Russian along the way "That Dracula arse…" I muttered silently.

The rest of the walk was uneventful and soon enough, I stood in front of an all too familiar door. I knocked twice and waited for an answer.

"Come in…" came a gruff voice from the other side of the door. Gulping, I opened the door and stepped into the room, saluting as I spotted Sergeant William "At ease soldier!"

I relaxed my posture but only a little, a sense of dread crept along my spine "I was informed you wanted to see me, sir?"

William nodded "We need to… talk, about your recent actions, regarding your squad."

"What do you mean? I've trained them to be the sharpest knifes." I answered truthfully, truly baffled as to why I was here, when it comes to my squad, I'm as devoted as a... as a... Oh who am I kidding, they are a bunch of Muppets, every day starts with a warm up that consists of thirty crunches, twenty bicycle crunches, thirty toe touches, twenty reverse crunches, fifteen side plank hip lifts to each side, thirty more crunches, forty russian twists, thirty more bicycle crunches, fifteen oblique v-ups each side and ten leg lifts, simple right?

"Is it now? Because three squad mates passed out during workout yesterday and another one got rushed to the hospital after having an asthma attack!" William all but barked.

"It's not my fault they can't deal with basic workout!" I tried to defend myself.

"Making eight laps around the ENTIRE perimeter is not a basic workout; this is Equestria we're talking about godammit! Not Afghanistan!... I'm sorry Alex but…"

"Don't do it William, don't take this away from me…" I pleaded, the military was MY everything, without it, I was nothing, both my father and brothers served and died in the army back on earth, I was bent on continuing our family's legacy. William simply shook his head.

"I tried Corporal Brindley, but the higher ups demand your immediate release…"

I fell on a nearby chair, trying to understand what the hell had gone wrong "What am I going to do now?" I asked, not sure what to do from here.

William put his hand on my shoulder, which I swatted away, William scowled but decided not comment about that "You will be paid for this month though." William tried to cheer me up, with little success.

I rose from the sit and left the room, not wanting to speak anymore, William tried to call me back, but I had none of it. I decided to go to the only place of solace in this hell of a country, Vlad's pub.

I entered the pub and sat across the counter "Beer please..."

Vlad barely looked at me as he handed me the mug, I looked at the liquid inside for a moment with a sigh, gazing upon my own reflection, the small scar above my upper lip barely visible...

Deciding that it was enough temptation, I took a big ass swig from the mug and slammed it back on the counter, almost drinking the entire content, I scrunched my face and let the taste linger on my tongue.

I sighed again and emptied out the mug "Fucking ponies…" I muttered "Fainting on my watch…"

I heard murmurs to my side and turned slightly to see a group of bat ponies, none of them looked very pleased, not that I cared. Bat ponies were weird, cool, but weird.

"More…" I simply said while tapping my mug on the counter, Vlad quickly took the mug off my hands and handed me a full mug "Thanks sweetheart…" Vlad simply ignored me, asshole… This time, I wasted no time drinking as I downed the entire mug in a few seconds.

'What am I going to do now?' that particular sentence replayed itself over and over in my mind, I was lost… It felt weird, I always knew what to do, always have a backup plan (even if it wasn't a great one), and maybe I needed to unwind, blow off some steam…

I thought about it, trying to organize the messed up thoughts in my head, and in a rare moment of drunken clarity, I decided that I needed something new, something fresh, a change of scenery. I needed to move out…

"Thanks for the drinks Vlad, take care of yourself you magnificent bastard…" I handed him the bits for the beers and headed home, now with a new aim…

I was back in his apartment; it now felt emptier than ever. I sighed and started packing; I found a small flat for rent at Ponyville and decided to move there, the place looked nice enough, small, rural town, quiet as well, a drastic change from the bustling metropolis known as Canterlot. As I packed, an old photo fell out on the floor; I picked the photo and smiled fondly at it. It showed me on a hospital bed, my body was wrapped in casts, despite my pitiful condition in the picture, I smiled at the camera. I remembered that moment well, it was when my vehicle accidently activated a land mine, I was the only one injured badly. Around my scruffy form, stood my former squad mates, all of them smiled at the camera. I closed my eyes as a particular sense of nostalgia washed over me. I tucked the picture inside my pocket and continued to pack what little I had.

At about midnight, I was already packed and ready to leave. I already sent my stuff to my new flat in Ponyville, I sat inside a train cabin, my mind racing a mile a minute as I thought about what I was about to do "No going back now…" I murmured.

I took a final glance towards Canterlot before tearing my gaze from the window and folding my arms together.

"Fucking assholes..."