Discord Vs Maud

Before Maud could reply to Discord’s statement Discord flung himself out of the library window. Glass shards landed and crunched underneath his feet as he landed. “What has he done?” Thought Maud. The obvious answer to her was he had gotten his claws on a spell book that Twilight kept in her personal bookcase but she wasn't sure if that was the case.

Not that she was really thinking about that as Discord was now skipping around celebrating in the chaos he had caused. “Oh Maud would you care to join me for a spot of tea?” Discord’s voice carried through the door. Maud had no time to react as she was forcefully brought outside and chained to a small tree by a rubber band.

Discord observed the tree. It was coloured pink and yellow. “No that can’t be” He thought. He checked the tree for life signs. “Wow that tree is literally FlutterShy, Oh well at least she got her wish” Discord thought as he shrugged. Turning his attention back to Maud he began a tirade… Again.

“So cruel I thought we were friends! Not joining me oh the irony!” Discord wailed in mock sadness. For what seemed like the thousandth time that day Maud sighed and shook her head.

“Discord will you just stop for a second” Maud cut in irritated.

“Ohh annoyed are we? Don’t you worry your little pony head no pony will be hurt in fact so many people wanted their day to be spiced up and that’s exactly what I did they should be thanking me!” Discord said as he conjured up a cup of tea and took a sip.

“Ah Earl Hay marvellous don’t you think?” Discord inquired.

Maud simply looked at him in disappointment and annoyance.

“Spoilsport” Discord muttered.

A faint roaring sound assailed their ears suddenly. Discord squinted and looked up, In the distance a faint rainbow trail could be seen heading towards them at supersonic speeds.

“This will be a problem, But I think I know how to fix it” Discord thought grinning evilly.

The sound from the rainbow trail became higher in pitch due to the Doppler effect she would be here soon and Discord knew exactly how to deal with her. Finally the rainbow span and twisted in mid-air to land next to Discord as it cleared the very pissed off Rainbow Dash became visible.

“Discord I don’t know what you did but fix it now!” Rainbow shouted her cerise eyes locked on to Discord’s blood red ones.

“No” Came Discord’s short mocking reply.

“Oh that is it, Stick em up!” Rainbow said as she reared onto her hind legs and began to trot around Discord throwing mock punches.

Discord facepalmed as she did so. “These ponies never learn” he grumbled.

“Ya wanna speak up Discord?” Rainbow asked.

Clicking his talons Discord immobilised Rainbow where she stood and stopped her in her tracks.

“Hey lemme go!” Rainbow said as she struggled against her bonds.

“Hmmm what to do, What to do?” Discord said stroking his beard in thought. He looked up at the sky. “Pinks getting a bit old for the sky don’t you think so Rainbow?” Discord asked.

“Where are you taking this Discord?” Rainbow narrowed her eyes.

“Oh I just think the sky could do with some colour!” Discord exclaimed as he clicked his talons. Suddenly the sky burst into a verdant mix of all the colours in the rainbow. “It’s so beautiful!” Discord said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

“Um is that it” Rainbow asked confused. She thought he was going to douse her in white paint or something like that.

“Oh no just one more thing” Discord smirked as he conjured a mirror and held it in front of her. Dash stared back at her reflection. All the colour from her mane had gone and it was now a dull black and white. “ You should see the look on your face, Oh wait you are looking at it!” Discord rolled around in laughter. Suddenly he let the restraints on Rainbow go and she flew into the air desperate to get away. Discord laughed all the while as she sped off. “Oh my that was hilarious!” Discord exclaimed.

Slowly Discord regained his footing and seemingly forgetting the incident with Rainbow conjured a box of chicken wings and took a bite out of one of the chicken wings. “Hmm needs sauce” Discord said. He conjured up some purple hot sauce of sorts and began to eat that with the wing. “Oh well maybe I took things a bit far but its Twilights fault for allowing me use of unrestrained magic” Discord said noticing Maud’s withering gaze.

Suddenly a loud scream broke both of their attentions from their little argument. Two heads turned towards the disturbance, Discord’s manic grin quickly grew into a worried and horrified expression while Maud took on a look of content.

The ever infamous Pinkie Pie was standing at less than one hundred feet away and she did not look happy. Perhaps that’s an understatement, In truth her mane was flat and all that emotion in her eyes were gone. “Oh dear” Said Discord as Pinkie stared at him.

Suddenly Pinkie let loose a shout “Nopony breaks their Pinkie promise!”. Then she proceeded to leap at the duo at crazy speeds.

“If she kills me and sends my soul for infinite torture to the depths of tartarus there is a case under my bed at FlutterShys destroy it would you” Discord said in an uncharacteristically calm voice. He didn’t really have time to say much else as Pinkie slammed into him like a thunderbolt.

“YOU LIED, YOU SAID YOU WOULD LOOK AFTER HER!” Pinkie shouted standing over Discord. “YOU BETTER STOP THIS SPELL RIGHT NOW MISTER!”

Discord knew Pinkie couldn't hurt him but looking into those deranged eyes he began to rethink on that point. “Alright, Alright I’ll stop the spell just mush off my body and I will turn everything back” Discord grumbled.

“YOU BETTER OR SOMEONE’S GETTING A SURPRISE FROM THE PARTY CANNON” Pinkie said still shouting.

“First I need to get her to stop shouting” Discord thought. Luckily he knew the way to defuse her from this volatile situation. Turning to Maud he released her. “I’m sorry about all the pain, agony and annoyance I have put you through Maud can you forgive me?” Discord said in mock sincerity.

Maud easily seeing through his ruse decided to play along. As she got up she dusted herself off. “You're forgiven” She said.

Pinkie’s mood suddenly went from murderous to happy in a few seconds. Her mane poofed out and she got a happy smile back on. “That wasn't so hard now was it you silly billy!” She said happily.

Discord mentally face palmed he actually considered taking the mare to a psychiatrists for a mental health check-up least it was proved she had a double personality disorder. But Discord then focussed his attention on the town. It was in beautiful shambles and it would be a horrible waste of time to just ruin it but he didn't want another psychotic episode from Pinkie so in his mind it was best to comply. He was meant to be reformed anyway so he should play along for now.

Snapping his talons the magical aura around him disappeared and all the chaos magic was released. The houses stopped moving around and settled down. The ground shook and the fissures that had grabbed running ponies from before regurgitated them back onto the road and closed up. All the wild animals including the pink manticore and giant TimberWolf stopped running around the town and reverted back to normal. Roaring in approval all the animals fled back to the forest desperate to get away from Discord. Finally the sky turned back to its normal colour meaning Discord had returned the colour to Rainbow’s mane. After a minute ponies started to appear around the corners wearily.

“Uhh what happened?” Came a soft voice from near Maud. They all turned to find Fluttershy standing groggily looking around in confusion.

“I made your dream come true” Discord said.

“What was that?” Fluttershy asked.

Before Discord could reply a bright flash assailed their eyes. When it cleared the other elements of harmony and both princesses appeared. The elements were all wearing their necklaces and both Fluttershy and Pinkie’s floated toward their respective bearer and attached themselves to them.

“DISCORD THOU IS GUILTY OF MASS PUBLIC DISTURBANCE AND PROPERTY DESTRUCTION, YOU WILL BE HUNG FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS!” Luna shouted using her royal Canterlot voice.

“Luna voice, and we don’t have the death penalty now that was outlawed years ago” Celestia chided her sister. Luna merely rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Discord.

“Ah reckon we should turn him back to stone” AppleJack suggested obviously still angry over the barn destruction and the snake incident.

“I second that” Rainbow said immediately.

“Hold on a moment” Said Celestia.

The talk immediately died down as Celestia spoke.

“Do you swear you were not trying to harm my little ponies?” Celestia questioned looking at Discord with indifference.

“Oh come off it Celestia you know that’s not how I do things” Discord replied still miffed that his fun had been taken away.

Celestia scrutinized him again. “Well I believe there is only one course of action.” She stated.

Everyone leaned forward anxious to hear.

“Discord because of your experience with the magic of friendship and because you cannot be trusted here you will move to canterlot and become Luna's new friendship instructor.” Celestia said with a big smile on her face damn she is such a troll!

“What?!” Eight voices cried out the only one being silent was Maud.

Discord thought for a moment.” Actually this might not be so bad” He thought as he looked at Luna’s horrified expression. “Actually this might be fun!” Giving Luna his biggest evil grin and a wink Discord prepared for another fun chapter this time with Luna in Canterlot.

Thats it everyone. To those who suffered through my flawed piece of work I applaud you. I am thinking of a sequel for the story with the obvious premise of Discord and Luna. Thanks for reading this story and I hope you liked it!