Discord Vs Maud

by Natura

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Discord, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 14045

Discord and Maud are perhaps the two strangest Characters one could come across. One is a insane chaos wielding prankster while the other takes after her passion of rocks and remains stoney faced at anything. What happens when chaos meets control?

Discord and Maud are perhaps the two strangest Characters one could come across. One is a insane chaos wielding prankster while the other takes after her passion of rocks and remains stoney faced at anything. The mane six could not get Maud to smile in this alternate universe so what happens when Discord tries it?Join them as they make a few friends but mostly just annoy everyone. So what happens when chaos meets control? I suck at descriptions like so many other people.

Edit: moving the rating up to teen for some violence, peril and some saucy insults, nothing to bad though. Also the first couple of chapters suck compared to the rest in my opinion so i will revise them
Also when sequel is up i will put in a link to it here.

Published 2014-05-13 22:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-29 18:26:47 UTC

Meeting your favourite characters

A.N  THIS TAKES PLACE IN AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHERE MAUD NEVER SMILED AT ANYTHING!

Dear One of my bestest sisters Maud!

Hi its pinkie here, well i’m not really here because this is just a letter but my writings here so I guess i’m kinda here, Oh! Does that mean i’m everywhere I write that's so cool!!! Anyway its pinkie and I know you and the girls had some uhh minor disagreements last time when they tried to make you smile, but you need to come visit again! I have my newest friend here and he’s so excited to see you!  I know if there's one thing to make you smile as wide as a mile it will be Discord my favourite draconequus! Anyway come down I can’t wait to see you!

Love your best pink sibling Pinkamena “Pinkie” Diane Pie.

The train to Ponyville was long and arduous, to Maud it seemed to draw on forever. Not that she minded that much, after all if you work on a rock farm you have to get used to the massive time spent being alone. The rock farm was spread over a large distance to cover as much ground as possible for finding rare geodes and Maud was used to boredom and loneliness. Not that she got bored with her rocks mind you. However as the train chugged merrily past a verdant and rich looking forested area Maud couldn't help but think of what she was doing here. The last time her sisters friends had annoyed her tremendously trying to provoke any reaction. They did not see it but deep down she would always love her family. Especially her pink sister who always made her smile inside despite her efforts to make her smile visible.This brought her back to her main problem while she held no grudges against pinkie pie's friends she was still happy to see them but she had no idea what or who discord was.

" I've never even heard of a draconequus before" thought Maud. All she hoped was that he was not annoying to her.

"Just maybe I will give him a smile to make pinkie feel better, she didn't seem very keen on my rock presents last year" mumbled Maud softly so nopony could hear, and with that last thought Maud gently drifted of to a light slumber rocked slowly by the trains motion on the tracks as it sped towards the distant town of Ponyville.

Discord yawned loudly as he stretched. His long claws on both hands clicking as he slowly rose from his temporary bed on Fluttershys couch.

" Oh Discord you're awake!" came a soft voice that he knew all to well.

" seems that way my dear"replied Discord. He then proceeded to turn his head all the way round in a full 390 turn to view Fluttershy as he stretched his limbs. He gave a devilish grin that he was famed for when he watched her cringe and turn away hiding behind her long mane. She never got used to his quirky antics.

" So my dear Fluttershy what's on the agenda today hmm? Any adventures to conquer or monsters that would make a being as powerful as me soil himself on sight?" As Discord said this he swooped down to her level as to hear her diminutive voice better.

"Umm actually you agreed to help Pinkie today with her sister today" whispered Fluttershy not looking him in the eyes as if he would get angry of her informing him of this.

" Confound these ponies they are so difficult" thought Discord to himself chuckling softly.

  " Why of course her dear sister Maud I think" exclaimed Discord causing Fluttershy to jump slightly. Suddenly he snapped his fingers and appeared at the nearby table. He snapped his fingers again and two portions of buttered toast and orange juice appeared.

"But first we must attend to the matter of breakfast wouldn't you agree" he said as he pulled out a chair for Fluttershy to seat herself.

Fifteen minutes later when all the food had been eaten and Discord had used his magic to help Fluttershy clean a eccentric triple knock came from the front door.

" I-I'll get it I-if you don't mind" spoke Fluttershy.

" By all means my dear I'm not stopping you" Discord replied gesturing his lions paw to the door. Fluttershy nodded slightly and made her way there. As she opened the hard wood door she saw the overly  excited face of one of her best friends looking at her with a wide open smile.

" Hey Flutters I'm here to pick up Discord so we can go visit my sister Maudy Pie" Pinkie started jumping around in excitement.

" Oh of course would you like to come in" Fluttershy offered. " No candoosville Flutters Maud will be arriving soon so we gonna have to reschedule that party!" Pinkie exclaimed still bouncing with every word.

" Oh okay would you like me to get Discord" whispered Fluttershy shyly.

" yuppers that'd be great!" Replied Pinkie.

" Discord Pinkie's here to take you to Maud" She shouted, well not really since her voice only rose a couple of decimals above her original volume. Discord suddenly appeared next to Pinkie who gasped and embraced her favourite draconequus in a massive hug.

" Hi discord-how-are-you-did-you-sleep-well-are-you-excited-to-see-Maud-I-know-I-am... Her tirade was cut of when Discord gently clamped her mouth shut.

"Now now Pinkie don't wear out your yapper for me we need to save that for your dear sister Maud" admonished Discord.

" Oh you will be careful Discord don,t get hurt stay away from the Ever free and be nice to Maud when you see her" Fluttershy worried fretting over several small blemishes in his coat to make sure he looked his best.

" Yes mother have no worry I'll be back before sundown" Discord rolled his eyes sarcastically. As he did so his eyes popped out of his sockets and rolled away.

" Shoot that always happens, need to learn to control that" he said as he inserted them back in. Pinkie no stranger to generally breaking laws of physics herself mearly bounced and smiled while Fluttershy looked faint.

" Alright ready to depart" he smiled as he turned to Pinkie with his trademark one fanged smirk gracing his face.

Maud shifted into the land of the concious as the train began to slow down for Ponyville. She shifted in her seat and rose quietly barely making a sound as she shifted with her luggage bag (full of rocks) to the front of the train. As she did so she wondered what on Earth this "draconequus" would look like. As the train slowly juddered to a halt Maud got her bearings and slowly with her trademark poker face on departed the train as the doors slid open. She squinted as she looked for her sister. There she was a small ball of bright pink that bounced with a giant grin. Slowly her eyes travelled to her companion and widened slightly. Before her stood an 11 foot tall beast. It had brown fur covering its long snakelike body and a long whiplash tail flowing behind it. Her eyes travelled to its head to see to odd horns one white one blue protruding from the surface. Then she took in the sarcastic smile and mismatched eyes with one larger then the other. Those red irises held what she could only describe as pure chaos in them, " This won't be fun" she thought.

"This is going to be hilarious" thought Discord silently planning to crack her surface and get her to smile in laughter. Or scream in fear whichever he felt worked.

" This will surely be funarific!" thought Pinkie entirely oblivious to the looks discord and Maud were sharing. Who's ready for some chaos!

First taste of Chaos for a Rock and a Rarity

Discord grinned inwardly and on the surface as well. Based on his cursory glance of Maud she seemed to possess nothing Pinkie had. Her coat was slate grey and her main a deep Purple. Then he saw her eyes. “Oh ho ho what’s this my dear Maud” he exclaimed in his chaos driven mind. Her eyes reminded him of Pinkie’s light blue but lacking that definitive sparkle that Pinkie had.

“Well we have to change that now don’t we” he whispered to himself so no one would overhear.

Maud almost took a step back when the draconequus known as Discord met her gaze. He seemed to be measuring up like a fresh piece of meat. She shuddered involuntarily making the large grin on Discord’s face grow to one that could have rivalled Pinkie’s. “ Well if he wants to play that game he can try all he wants he is getting nothing more out of me” she declared in her thoughts. Stepping forward she barely managed to raise her  right foreleg of the ground when she was attacked, almost smothered by a large pink mass hugging her fetlocks.

“Maudy-its-so-nice-to-see-you-hows-Inkie-and-Blinkie-is-the-farm-doing-well-are-you-excited-I-am… This carried on for a couple of minutes without Pinkie seemingly taking a breath.

“She should try diving if she can hold her breath that long” Maud mused.

“ Then Twilight was all like Pinkie get out of the volcano it will burn you and I was like well duh…”

“Pinkie”Maud suddenly objected “ its good to see you but must you try to crush me?”

“ She’s right Pinkie we wouldn't want any injuries before the fun started”  Discord objected again eyeing Maud like he was planning to eat her .

“ Ooh no that's not any fun “ Pinkie said. “Anyway Maudy this is my bestest draconequus friend Discord, “Discord say hi!”

“Pleasure to meet you my dear” Discord introduced himself and held a eagle’s claw out in front of her to shake. Maud carefully shook the proffered claw, but when she made contact an invisible electrical buzzer activated and left Mauds hair standing up on end like she had just tussled with a timber wolf. However she managed to keep her composure and   Simply brush her mane down using a hoof .

“ Oh she’s good I'll give her that” thought Discord while pinkie rolled around the floor in laughter causing quite a few bystanders to turn and look at her.

“Ha ha ha that was so good” she cried while rolling around in laughter .You were all like BZHT and then your mane went all POOF like mine!” Pinkie finally managed to gain control of herself after seeing her sister in such an odd state.

“ Very funny Mr Discord, how about we go into town” Maud replied matching Discords slightly frustrated glare with a stoney one of her own.

“ I'm not done yet my dear not by a long shot” Discord thought ,he would win and make Maud get a true reaction if it was the last thing he did. And after this day it might just well be.

As the mismatched trio of ponies and draconequus entered the town square  everything was in full motion it now being the time merchants began selling their wares. Over by the apple stand a orange earth pony mare donning a wide Stetson on her head was helping a very large red earth pony stallion who interestingly enough had the same poker face as Maud on at the moment unload apples from a wagon. “Applejack if  I remember correctly.” thought Maud. Next to her a trio of mares with what looked like flower cutie marks were chatting by their stand  of brightly coloured flowers. That was one thing Maud disliked about Ponyville, the brightness of it all. Who wouldn't agree that a large lateral display of rocks could easily outshine the most bright flowers. She would never understand.

A faint rainbow trail could be spotted in the distance if one looked hard enough. Maud thought she could recall where it came from but it slipped her mind . Above all of these distractions was the noise. Traders shouted attempting to sell their product while Foals played on the ground. Being particularly noisy was this group of three foals  that seemed to be wearing matching capes.

Maud tore her attention away from these distractions to focus on the bright pink and white shop that was sugar cube corner.” Okie dokie Maud you know where we are now, Unfortunately Mrs cake said I've got to work  two more hours to deal with the lunchtime rush bake then we can have some fun, but don’t worry Discord here will take care of you for now, he may seem old and grumpy but he’ll stay with you because he promised and nopony or draconequus breaks a pinkie promise am I right!?”

As she said this she gave discord a glare that almost made him soil himself. In fact it took all of his chaotic will to not make it actually happen with his magic. “ Why of course Pinkie I would never leave your ...uhh bestest sister Maudy Pie alone” Discord said literally sweating buckets, no literally they actually fell from his coat onto the floor while Discord shivered like a foal witnessing his parents kiss for the first time.

“ Well okay then you to have fun!” Pinkie smiled and trotted into the bakery humming to herself. Maud turned to Discord and gave him a look that conveyed her feelings.

“ Oh shut up it’s not like she scares you too” Discord retorted huffing and crossing his arms. Maud almost smiled at his childish behaviour coming from a 1000 year old god of chaos ,but stopped herself realising she needed to be more alert if she were to win this game of keeping a poker face. She turned to Discord and said

“Are you going to take me on a tour around Ponyville Mr Discord?” she asked .

“ Yep” came his short reply.

“Then I'm gonna take you to my own personal piece of chaos” Thought Discord.

Soon after the duo came to a large store that had large dresses and glittering gemstones out front. “ Not that bad but i would have put the diamonds more spread out and in a convex pattern” Maud thought examining one of the dresses in the front window calling upon her vast knowledge of geodes.

“ Our first stop my dear” Discord announced having gotten over his episode from earlier. “ As you can see this shop belongs to a seamstress one named Rarity, she’s stuck up and as stubborn as a mule like most of your sister’s friends. But even I have to admit her dresses ain't bad if I must degrade myself with saying so, care to step inside” He proffered. Maud nodded and followed Discord through the door into the store.

Inside the store a alabaster white unicorn with a long obviously High maintenance Mane styled in curls sat by a long swath of cloth using her magic to delicately unfold it. At Discord and Mauds entrance she jumped revealing pure aquamarine blue eyes that shone with the power of creation. This was obviously the store’s owner and pinkie’s friend Rarity.

As her eyes fell on Discord they shone with distaste but practically almost exploded when her eyes fell on Maud. “ Darling whatever happened to your mane !” she cried jumping up to inspect Maud’s frazzled mane courtesy of Discord’s prank.

“ Discord happened Miss Rarity” Maud said betraying no emotion in her voice or face.

“ Understandable but please don’t call me Miss just Rarity will do ,now to the matter at hoof we must fix your mane my darling ,free of charge for this travesty of a mane!”

“Thanks” thought Maud sarcastically her feelings slightly hurt at the jab to her style.

“Now where are my scissors” Rarity said.

“Oh no need Rarity I've got it” replied Discord who snapped his talons. The room was filled with a bright light. When it faded Both Rarity and Maud’s manes disappeared. Upon seeing her own mane in Discords Lion paw Rarity fainted falling to the floor unceremoniously. When she recovered she began to chase Discord round the store with sewing pins while shouting obscenities bad enough to make a royal guard blush . Discord contorted his body into various shapes to avoid the attacks even going as far as pulling himself in half to avoid Rarity’s pins. “ But I thought you wanted your manes cut” Discord grinned as he hopped around the room laughing like a foal during Hearth's warming eve .When she caught him she forced him to change their manes back to normal or face severe consequences. Despite having twenty sewing needles in his muzzle he grinned and clicked his talons there manes turned back to normal Maud’s now de frazzled. Rarity then booted Discord out of the store. Maud gave a short apology for his behaviour and followed him out.

She found him upside down leaning against the wall as his eyes rolled in their sockets before coming to rest on her. “ what's her problem eh?” he asked. Maud raised an eyebrow.”You're no fun you know that”he huffed Picking himself up he dusted himself off and turned back to her “ Well ready to continue my dear?”

Chicken Wings Hot Sauce and Breaking your Promise

Chicken Wings Hot Sauce and Breaking your Promise

One Hour in the Future

Pinkie hummed smiling with her unique smile as she retrieved some freshly baked cupcakes from the oven. She bounced over to her cupcake decorations and began to furnish the cupcakes with hard rock candies.”I know I can put a smile on Maud’s face if she has this she loves rocks right?” she asked herself. Her smile dropped when she thought back to Maud. She had never smiled at anything. The pranks, sweet treats and parties had never lightened her mood and she seemed to affix Pinkie with a almost distasteful look a lot of the time. “ Oh Pinkie you shouldn't think like that, all those meany thoughts aren't right, Maud loves me no matter what!” Satisfied with her work on the cupcakes she donned her smile and headed over to clock out for her shift.

“ Oh Pinkie thought you should know, there have been some odd noises coming from outside so do be careful” Mrs Cake called after her.

“ Don’t worry you silly billy it’s not like some ominous event that could change the course of the story is about to happen” Pinkie replied giggling. Suddenly her back left foreleg started twitching. “ Twitchy back left knee hmm new Pinkie sense I wonder what that means” She thought as she trotted out of the store.

She exited the shop with her eyes closed enjoying the sounds of birds singing and burning and screaming and hot sauce… “ Wait,what!” Pinkie gasped as she opened her eyes.

What surrounded her was something akin to what Discord would create mixed with a horror movie. Large craters containing cheese that had “From the Moon” stamped on the side embedded in them. The sky outside was A verdant rainbow colour with all the colours blending into each other perfectly. A manticore with its fur coloured pink was looking in horror at it’s pink arm like it might fall off at any second crying it’s eyes out. Near to the manticore a house seemed to become sentient. It caught and devoured any pony unlucky enough to come in the range of it’s rug tongue that snatched them screaming in fear into the house.

On closer inspection the ground looked odd and lumpy. As pinkie took a step on it it let out a huge rumble and a  voice spoke out “ hey you, pink fuzz ball!” Pinkie looked down in this scene of chaos to find a face emerging from the earth. “ Mind not stepping on me?” Pinkie recoiled in shock as the face disappeared into the earth. Pinkie got up and started to gallop, desperate to get away from this chaos infested place.

As she turned a corner she ran straight into a blue substance. Pinkie shook her head as she viewed the shivering ball that had been her friend Rainbow Dash. Except on her face instead of her usual look of brash contempt was a look of horror. Her Violet eyes shrunk to pinpricks and her body covered in sweat.

“ Dashie what's wrong?” Pinkie asked uncertain what to do.

“ What;s wrong Pinkie” Dash exclaimed "look at my mane". Pinkie examined Dash’s mane and gasped in shock her mane once filled with rainbow now hung limp and was completely white, how had she missed that?

“ What happened did someone take your colour, ooh someone’s going to get an unwelcome surprise when I find them!” But she was too late Dash had already flown away and a white trail that followed her flight path slowly began to dissipate. Pinkie shook her head and started to run again. “ When I find who took Dashie’s main some pony's getting a party cannon surprise launch!” Her mind wandered to Discord, would he have betrayed her and not taken care of Maud?

Before she could think further on the subject another distraction took her eye, Floating upside down was Twilight’s tree house. Except it was coloured blue and was on fire.

Pinkie looked around for Twilight but couldn't see her. All of this was pointing to this being Discord’s magic, but he wouldn't do this would he?However her mind went blank when she saw what was next to the house. Maud was tied to a pink and yellow tree with a rubber band. Despite the scene going on around her she looked the same as ever albeit a little dirty. Next to her was Discord eating, was that chicken wings with purple hot sauce?

Then she realised it. Discord had told her he would make her smile but he had gone to far. “ He’s not looking after her ,he broke his promise” she muttered quietly.

She heard Discord’s voice say “ Oh well maybe I took things a bit too far but I blame Twilight for letting me use magic unrestrained” he said as he took a bite from the wing. Ponies were vegetarians normally but these wings were seen occasionally around griffin colonies as a delicacy and were in no short supply despite the fact ponies never ate them.

Pinkie glared at Discord as her mane deflated slightly. He had broken his promise and turned ponyville into his own personal playground. Her mane fell completely as her eyes took a strange sheen.

“ Discord you broke your promise, No pony breaks a Pinkie promise” she yelled. Discord slowly turned around as he faced her his face looking like he might faint from the unspeakable pink demon standing 100 metres away from him. She yelled again throwing herself at Discord to free her sister. Discord turned to Maud said something she didn't hear the she hit him full force in the chest with a hug ( her form of offence) that made his entire body convex.

Discord slowly turned his body after hearing a voice that made him want to jump into a large pit and bury himself there forever.He saw the terrifying sight of pinkie rushing towards him. “ If I die there’s a briefcase under my bed at Fluttershy’s , do be a dear and destroy it won’t you” Discord said strangely calm despite facing the large pink freight train rushing towards him. Maud almost rolled her eyes at Discord’s antics but instead watch as the “pink demon” made contact to Discord causing his vision to fade to pink.

EverFree Beasts, A Rodeo To last the Ages and Some Shocked Faces

Present Time

“Honestly did Rarity have to throw me into that wall so hard? It’s a nightmare living around these insatiable ponies let me tell you” Discord whined as he stretched and twisted his back. “ My chiropractor is going to have my hide when he sees the state I’m in” Maud simply shrugged and walked on. “ I mean this flexible limber body takes time to maintain y’know?” Discord  motioned for Maud to stop and looked around. “ Now where to go next,hmm so many choices so many ponies to infuriate and so little time”

“Ooh I know how about a little soiree to sweet apple acres, where the apples be the best in good ol’e Equestria”  Discord said in a terrible apple family accent.

“Very well” Maud nodded. From what she remembered Applejack was a very welcoming pony if not a bit too friendly at some times. A loud rumbling noise suddenly burst from where Discord had been standing. Maud sharply turned around to view Discord sitting on a Harley Davidson. A large,chrome Harley Davidson with massive handlebars. Not that Maud had any clue what it was.The engine rumbled and thrummed with power while the bikes frame remained steady despite the power coursing through it. Maud took one look and automatically knew that she was going nowhere near it. Discord himself was wearing a biker jacket and a pair sunglasses complete with an evil grin that would make a super villain jealous.

“Care to take a seat?” Discord motioned behind him to the empty patch large enough for one pony.

“No” Maud replied and starting walking away to the dirt path that led to sweet apple acres.

“Spoilsport” Discord mumbled as he clicked his talons and the Harley Davidson disappeared. The sun was now beginning to show signs of setting as discord floated himself to Maud and began walking with her.

Neither talked for a while. A break that Maud finally deserved. As she walked she took in the scenery. A stream gurgled over a brook washing over stones and breaking apart the rocks into sediment. A welcome sight that she was used to in this unfamiliar land. A couple of birds sat on a tree singing a perfect harmonious song together, Bugs and insects of all kinds flitted through the undergrowth and made their own noises.  Maud preferred it this way nice and calm. True the scenery held nothing to the beauty of her rock farm but this was a nice change from the fast pace of the town.

“Ooh look Maud a wittle doggy” Discord suddenly exclaimed causing Maud to again turn sharply to find the disturbance. This path headed close to the Everfree forest and looks like something had come to give her a welcome party. A timberwolf slowly emerged from the bushes. It’s limbs creaking in the gentle breeze as it slowly stalked towards them. The wolf’s bark was deafening as it tried to make sense of Discord. Then  it’s whole body flexed showing of it’s impressive size for a timber wolf,It stood a full three feet above Maud and probably was twice as heavy as her despite being hollow.Drool hung limply from it’s jaw set full with rows of teeth. Scars crisscrossed it’s body showing it had probably been in a couple of fights. Finally the dark green eyes held them with a predatory gaze sizing them up to see if they were a potential meal. Odd that it was alone as timber wolves generally travel in packs. Maud had limited knowledge on creatures such as this but what she knew would have to do. She also knew it’s bite was extremely poisonous and she didn’t feel like a trip to the hospital. Judging from it’s size it probably was an alpha.

“ I would hardly call that a little dog Discord” Maud shifted her weight and eyed the wolf cautiously. The wolf seemed to be wary of Discord as he still towered a good four feet over it.

Discord looked away from the wolf and gazed in her direction. “ Feel like playing a game” He said looking at her with a truly devilish grin.

“What do yo…” Maud was cut of as Discord picked her up and threw her at the wolf. The wolf licked his chops and opened his mouth waiting for an easy meal. Maud resisted screaming and simply closed her eyes awaiting death. It did not come as Discord had looped some string around her midriff and pulled her back.

“ Ohh I was sure I had you there,damn your good at this no emotion game” Discord complained in a frustrated voice, seemingly paying no mind that he had thrown her at a timber wolf. “ Oh well better luck next time” He said.

“ What type of game was that” Maud shouted allowing anger to creep into her voice.

“That wasn't the game my dear that was just me warming up my arm muscles” Discord replied smugly reviling in the fact she had finally shown emotion.”This is the game, it’s called how long can you hold onto a rabid timberwolf without getting thrown off, here i’ll go first”

Discord suddenly teleported onto the timberwolf’s back. The timberwolf grunted and tried to shake him of. As Discord hung on a cowboy hat appearing on his head as he rode the great wolf. Howling the wolf took of along the path trying to dislodge his attacker. As they disappeared down the track Maud facehooved but allowed herself a little smile. She may not want to admit it but Discord certainly was an interesting character to have around.

Sergeant Summer Storm and Private Strum Marley two large pegasi and the only two guards of Ponyville were enjoying a pleasant stroll down the path from sweet apple acres. They had just finished their rounds and were enjoying an apple they always received when they visited sweet apple acres. “ Ya hear that sarge?” Marley said confusion evident on his face as he listened.

“ Yeah I hear it” Replied Storm straining his ears to catch the sound.

“Sounds like a stampede or somthin” Marley suggested

“ Could be… Wait what the” Storm and Marley both jumped back as the largest timber wolf they had ever seen came thundering down past them with what looked like a large brown bat clinging to it’s back. The two howled and Yee Hawed as they made their way down the slope and onward to sweet apple acres.

“ Should I ask Sarge” Marley said dumbstruck.

“ Nope we are off duty best to just walk away and forget what we just saw”

“ Yep” Both stallions walked away without saying another word.

Applejack was up in her room sorting out some bills when a loud thumping noise sounded from outside. “ What in Tarnation!?” She exclaimed as she rushed for her window. She saw what seemed to be the largest timber wolf she had ever seen outside howling and shaking as it tried to throw of… Discord.

The wolf and Discord finally headed for the barn. Applejack just stood there taking it all in. “ Mac you put somthin in ma drink?” She said unsure if what she had just seen was a mirage.

“Nnnope” came the reply. Applejack walked down the stairs to find Mac staring out the door  look of shock pressed onto his normally impassive face. He must have seen the insane duo as well.

“ Maybe we should go check the barn”

“Eeyep”

Apples,Snakes And Secret Cakes

The worn path flew by as Maud galloped as fast as she could towards sweet apple acres. “ We don’t need to get into any more trouble then we are already in” she thought. Shaking her head she increased her speed and followed the wolf’s destructive path hoping discord had not accidently killed anyone on his rodeo.

Maud was not the only pony running at that time as Mac and AppleJack were galloping to the barn as well, following the downed apple tree’s and distressed animals that littered the wolf’s path. The barn slowly came into view over the horizon. Squinting AppleJack could just make out that the barn’s door had been completely blown off it’s hinges and the whole front of the barn’s foundation had crumpled into itself. Sharing a worried look with Macintosh they redoubled their speed to get to the barn before Discord and his mount destroyed their entire farm.

As the apple duo finally made it to the barn they allowed themselves a few seconds to rest. From inside they could hear the faint sounds of Discord’s voice almost completely drowned out by the wolf’s vicious snarls and howls.But as they watched those sounds slowly faded.”Wait a minute, what in tarnation is this?” Applejack said. Mac turned around to see her staring at a pair of reins near the door. Mac took an instant dislike to the object, it didn't feel right. “Ah don’t know but just keep em over there, they ain’t natural”. Mac said nervously as he eyed the object.

“Ah agree with ya there” AJ said as she kicked the reins away.

After a while of listening for any clues as to what Discord was doing AppleJack spoke up.“ What d’ya reckon Mac, should we go in an take a look?”

Mac stood silently complementing the danger of the situation. Many ponies thought him to be a simple apple farmer but hardly any knew that beneath his deflective personality laid a calm calculating mastermind that could beat even Twilight at chess( not that she would admit it!) and AppleJack trusted his judgement completely.

Big Mac straightened up and replied with his trademark “Eeyep”.

The pair of farmers cautiously made their way to the barn door. All the noise the timberwolf had made was gone and so was Discord’s voice. AppleJack steeled her nerves and very slowly and gently nudged the door open with a hoof. She had no idea what to expect next and so didn’t really foresee a seven foot tall timberwolf to come barrelling into her.

Completely taken by surprise AppleJack rolled to the side as the timberwolf sped past her. It appeared to be chasing something not that she paid it any mind as she was stunned by the thought of a massive timberwolf smashing her into the ground if she had not been fast enough to avoid it’s charge.

Big Mac rushed over concern evident in his eyes as he asked “Ya alright AJ?”

“Yeah i’m fine lemme just catch my breath” Applejack slowly stood now eyeing the barn with a bit more caution. All signs of life had now completely vacated from the barn and not a single thing moved in her vision. Slowly but steadily she made her way to the large door that provided entrance to the barn. Big Mac sucked in a deep breath as AppleJack reached out a hoof to open the door. Suddenly she flung it open and with bated breaths the apple farmers looked inside.

What was inside shook both of them to the core and the apples merely looked at what the barn had now become. Slowly they both backed out.

“Macintosh?”

“Yeah?” Big Macintosh replied to traumatized to even speak in his usual way.

“Get my Rope”

“YeeHaw!” Discord yelled as the huge wolf flew down the path leaving nothing but a trail of dust in it’s wake. “ And here was me thinking this day would be boring” Discord chuckled to himself. The timberwolf now only focussed on dislodging the insane draconequus hitching a ride on its back began to buck as it ran. Discord clung on for dear life and then reached down to the timberwolf’s ear. “Y’aint gonna get rid o’ me that easy” He whispered doing his best AppleJack impression. The wolf only howled louder as it began to froth at the mouth. As they crested a hill Discord looked up just in time to see two ponies wearing what seemed like royal guard armour staring at him in shock.

Discord flashed them a very creepy smile that one might say only a mother could love as he sped past. He managed to catch the expressions they were wearing on their faces as he laughed to himself. “You should see the looks on your faces!” He thought to himself. The wolf sensing Discord’s lapse of concentration picked this moment to try and throw him off. It jumped hoping to catch Discord with a hanging branch. But all of it’s efforts were fruitless as Discord merely flowed around the branch and reassembled himself afterwards. “Why would you want me to go?!” Discord cried in mock sadness. “ I thought we had something special!” The wolf howled in misery again failing to throw Discord off.

“Now mush my faithful steed, onwards to sweet apple acres!” As discord said this a pair of reins attached themselves to his claw and paw. He looped them over the timberwolves head and under it’s chin. Discord was having a wonderful time mentally scarring the beast that was known for mentally scarring. “ Why did I never do this before!” Discord wondered in glee.

After another minute of howling, snarling and the occasional “Giddy up!” The rider and his “mount” made it to the gate that signified the start of sweet apple acres. The wolf now sensing it was not as enclosed as it was on the path began to run into every tree carving a path of destruction wherever it went. Discord however was unfazed and continued to dodge all obstacles thrown at him. He bent around a tree then he jumped over one. Then he slid under the ground after jumping from the wolves back to avoid a nasty thicket. Thinking it was free the wolf let out a howl of gratitude only to have Discord reappear on his back and fix him with a smile. “Mush” Discord said whipping the reins.

He almost felt sorry for the wolf after the miserable howl that followed.

The wolf and Discord had now made it to the open area in front of the apple’s house. He ran the wolf in a couple of circles until he got bored. He decided to use his extensive magic to communicate with the wolf, much like Fluttershy. Discord hoped she was no where near or his rump would be roasted over the fire if she found out about his treatment of the gargantuan wolf. “Y’know what I think you’ve earnt your freedom” Discord said casually inspecting a talon. The wolf growled and swung it’s stiff wooden tail irritatingly. “ On one condition” He added grinning evilly. “ You see the barn over there?”

What followed was a huge impact as the wolf crashed through the side of the barn leaving the main door untouched. Discord was thrown from his seat upon the wolf and the reigns flew out the barn. “Uh why does everything want to slam me against the walls today?” He groaned sitting up. The wolf pulled its head out of a bale of hay as Discord sat up. The wolf snarled and barked as Discord stood. It clearly wanted revenge for its humiliation. “ Oh ready for round two are we?” Discord taunted his grin in a mocking pose stretching up to his ears. The wolf’s barking slowly descended in volume as it thought of it’s chances.

“Here let me help you” Discord grinned. He seemingly pulled apart one of the walls of the barn. As he did so a purple haze became visible where the wall used to be. It then materialized to show Discord riding the timberwolf with a plaque that said for all eternity on it. The wolf had seen enough and just ran before the nutty draconequus could do anything else. It left another huge hole in the wall as it exited. “ Well now what to do what to do” He mused bringing a claw to his chin as he struck a thoughtful pose. “ Ah I know, How bout I go get Maud I know she’ll just love to see me again!”As Discord said this he didn't notice the shocked looks of two ponies standing in the doorway to the barn.

Maud huffed and wheezed as she entered sweet apple acres. She had not run for a while and was having trouble catching her breath. Discord and the wolf had moved much faster than her. They were easy enough to follow though considering the unmistakable path of destruction left by the wolf and the pair of terrified royal guards left by the side of the road. Maud glanced over to the farmhouse to see a very tall muscular red stallion emerge holding a length of rope. Maud felt her cheeks flush and inadvertently looked away. “What was that feeling?”Maud wondered. “Almost like I was embarrassed for no reason.” Maud decided to put away her thoughts for now. After taking a minute to compose herself from the running she trotted to where she had seen the red stallion run to.

As maud approached the barn where all the commotion was, she heard some very odd swishing noises like a whip being flicked. So intrigued by these noises she only noticed the barn had two large holes in the foundation of it. “I wonder how…” Maud began but she was soon cut off by another voice with a distinct southern twang.

“Discord! Get back here ya varmint i’m gonna skin ya alive!” Came the voice of AppleJack from the barn.

“Well that answers my question” Maud thought.

With not much choice ahead of her she entered the barn though one of the massive holes in the side. So surprised was she her eyebrows actually raised a fraction. There was the large red stallion standing in the corner with a bemused expression on his face. But that was not caught her eye this time. What did was the orange figure of AppleJack trying to loop her lasso around Discord. The draconequus himself dodged every single one with a sheepish expression on his face.

“Um it was an accident” Said Discord.

“AH’M GOIN TO RIP THAT SMILE OFF YER FACE DISCORD”Bellowed AppleJack.

“Alright have it then” Discord replied. His mouth grew larger and he suddenly detached it from his face and threw it at AppleJack. She recoiled as the smile landed on her taking up most off her vision. “Now for the grand finale” Discord bellowed in a stage voice. He snapped his eagles talons and the rope AppleJack was holding in her hooves turned into a long green snake. Discord’s mouth returned to its rightful owner allowing AppleJack a full view off the snake.

Now everyone has a weird phobia and unfortunately for AppleJack her’s was snakes. She ran off screaming like a little filly as the snake hissed and went the other way out off the barn and into the ever free. Macintosh now realizing he was alone ran straight after her afraid of what might befall him if he stayed around the chaos god long enough.

“Well, well Maud quite the show eh?” Discord said looking over at her.

Maud said nothing but merely regarded Discord with her eyes.

“Oh come on!, That was hilarious why didn’t you laugh?” Discord cried in a mock fashion. Maud simply said

“Shall we continue with the tour”

“Your still no fun y’know?” Discord huffed. “But I’ve never seen a pony that mad before except Princess Celestia when I told the court about her cake eating disorder” Discord said as he walked out.

“Princess Celestia has a eating disorder, never would have guessed.” Maud thought as she followed Discord out off the ruined barn.

Celestia and Luna’s palace

Princesses Luna and Celestia sat patiently on their thrones waiting for the long day of the court sessions to end. In the room a group of business ponies sat or stood one speaking while the rest nodded in agreement.

“So as you can see profits for the cotton industry have risen by 2% in the past year and will continue to rise in the following years” The business pony finished off his presentation.

“Very good loyal subject we will take your proposal into consideration” said Luna shifting in her throne. She still was not comfortable with these courts.

“Indeed and perhaps later on we…” Celestia stopped in mid sentence her eyes widening and her breathing rate increasing.

“Um Tia anything wrong” Luna said waving a blue hoof in front of Celestia.

“ Somepony knows Luna” Celestia whispered. Such was the tone of her voice it caused the business ponies to step back and exchange nervous glances.

“Somepony knows what” Asked Luna cautiously.

“Nothing important” Celestia suddenly straightened up. “ Oh if you see Discord could you send him up to my personal solar office me and him need to talk”

To the left off her Luna could be heard face hoofing.” Not again” she muttered.

EverFree Crusaders

“Once again on another wild adventure” Maud said to herself as she ran through the tangled undergrowth of the forest to find Discord and the source of those screams. She could only wonder who exactly needed their help and how unlucky for them it would be to find their saviour in discord.

One Hour Ago

“ Perhaps we shouldn't try to get our cutie marks in bee keeping” Winced sweetie belle as she pulled a stinger from her side with her teeth as her magic had not yet come into effect due to her being to young to perform magic.

“ Yeah, I’ve gotta agree with ya on that one” Replied Apple Bloom as she too pulled a stinger out her back.

“ I dunno what you two are on about that was awesome!” Exclaimed Scootaloo. Unlike the others she did not get attacked by the bees as she escaped on  her scooter before they attacked.

All three were sitting in their clubhouse after a encounter with the local bee’s nests where they had to make a “Tactical retreat” as scootaloo put it.

“What I couldn't risk myself saving you two, Rainbow Dash can’t keep being awesome without me there” she said when they questioned her “Retreat”

“ Well what do we do then?” Questioned Sweetie Belle after all the stingers had been removed.

“ Well I’m up for something exciting still” Scootaloo added in.

“Ah agree, we need something to spice up our weekend”

“ Wasn't the bees enough” Sweetie Belle turned to Apple Bloom raising an eyebrow.

Apple Bloom shrugged her shoulders and the three fillies went back to thinking of new ideas. After a while of thinking Scootaloo spoke up.

“How about rock climbing?”

“Nah Miss Sunny don’t trust us after we brought down the dam while abseiling no way to get the equipment” Apple Bloom struck the idea down.

“Swimming?” Sweetie Belle added after some thought

“Nope not allowed to after we contaminated the lake” This idea was struck down by Scootaloo.

“ I’ve got it” Scootaloo said suddenly.

“ What is it?” Both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom said at the same time.

“Ya know that old temple of the princesses before Luna turned all crazy?”

“Yeah what about it” Apple Bloom replied.

“ I heard from Rainbow Dash that it contains some really cool things that nopony has taken because their all to scared of the temple”

“Well they should be” Sweetie Belle said before looking suspiciously at Scootaloo. “ You weren’t going to suggest we actually go there? It’s in the Everfree forest. Remember what happened the last time we went there because of the poison joke?”

“ I know but it’s only a short journey and as long as we don’t stray off the path the animals won’t bother us unless we bother them which we won’t”

“Ah’m still not sure, AppleJack would tan my hide if she found out I’d gone into the EverFree”

“ Same here but with Rarity, she seemed really stressed today and was carrying a bunch of needles with her, Best to just leave her without any stress when she’s in those moods”

“Come on guys where’s your sense of adventure? Apple Bloom you said yourself you wanted excitement.

“Ah didn't say I wanted to be a creatures dinner though”

“C’mon please” Scootaloo whined flashing her best puppy dog eyes.

Apple Bloom couldn't deny she was bored and she knew for a fact if you stayed on the path the animals wouldn't attack you thanks to a magic spell Twilight put up. She debated for a bit before deciding.

“Fine I’m in”

“ Cool!” Scootaloo grinned, “How about you Sweetie Belle”

Sweetie Belle sighed “I guess I need to stop you two from getting hurt, Alright I’m in.

“Alright lets go” Shouted Scootaloo racing out of the clubhouse her wings buzzing in excitement as she strapped on her helmet and jumped on her scooter

“Cutie mark relic collectors go!” They shouted before heading towards the forest.

“See, what did I tell you we are perfectly fine” said Scootaloo while performing lazy circles with her scooter.

“ Still not sure if this was the best idea” Sweetie Belle whispered while fearfully eyeing the leering eyes visible on the edge of the forest.

“Ah come on Belle” Apple Bloom admonished. “At least its only a couple more minutes and nothin bad has happened yet”

“ Yeah Sweetie Belle stop being such a chicken”

“You can talk” Sweetie Belle said back to Scootaloo.

“Hey!”

After walking for another couple of minutes without incident the crusaders found themselves outside the temple of the princesses. The walls looked stable enough but the whole building was covered in decay and was rotten to the core. A few statues on plinths littered the castle walls and the statues themselves looked as inviting as the castle.

“Yeah, No I’m not going in there” Sweetie Belle started to back away but she was pushed back by Scootaloo.

“Oh no you don’t, we came this far no point in turning back, Anyway think of all the cool stuff in there!”

“Ah agree with her again” Said Apple Bloom. “Ain’t nothing there that will harm us now since Nightmare Moon got turned back to Princess Luna.”

“Fine, I guess” Sweetie Belle said unsurely.

“ Come on we're wasting time” Scootaloo complained. “I wanna see what's in here” She added excitedly.

As one the group leaded by Scootaloo headed into the castle.

“Whats this?” Scootaloo asked looking up to the shrine that once held the old elements of harmony.

“Sis told me it was a place where they held the old elements” Apple Bloom said reminiscing back to the memory of AppleJack telling her what had happened the night Nightmare Moon attacked.

Sweetie Belle said nothing yet. She was too nervous to look at anything other than the walls watching for movement.

“Hey guys look at this” Scootaloo shouted. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle rushed over to find the pegasus holding a pink ball.

“Ooh that’s really pretty!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. Indeed it was, the ball had glowing wisps of pink and white light emanating from within and veins of energy pulsed through it causing the ball to look both spectral and solid at the same time.

“What d’ya think it is” Apple Bloom questioned.

“I dunno but look at it, Rainbow Dash is gonna be so happy with me when I show her I found something this awesome!” Scootaloo said her eyes fixed on the sphere in her hooves.

“ Are you sure that’s a good idea, taking it back?” Sweetie belle broke out of her staring at looked at Scootaloo.

“Well yeah it hasn't harmed us yet so what could it do?”

After a couple more minutes deciding what they should do they decided to take it home. Scootaloo put it on her scooter and they were about to head back onto the path back home.

“Uh guys d’ya hear that noise” Apple Bloom said straining her ears. They all stopped and listened for a couple of seconds. A low humming noise could be heard from outside.

“Yeah what is that…”

Scootaloo was interrupted mid sentence by an ear shattering roar. Right outside the entrance to the castle stood a manticore. It stood at well over eight times the height of the fillies and looked far more ferocious and animalistic than any book could truly describe. Its jaws held three rows of heavy teeth set in a snarl on its lion head. The manticore's body flexed and rippled as it eyed the three fillies with a deadly gaze. But most noticeable of all was its massive tail. Tipped with a large poisonous barb getting stung would mean almost certain death.

“Ah thought Twilight shielded the path” Apple Bloom gulped.

“Must have missed the castle” Sweetie Belle whispered while slowly backing away from the slowly approaching manticore.

Scootaloo slowly brought the sphere out of the bag and pointed it at the manticore. “This should do something right?”

“Ah dunno try something, hurry!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. The manticore was getting closer now drooling from its cavernous jaws as it closed in.

Scootaloo began squeezing the sphere. Then she tried twisting pulling and pushing but nothing worked. “ Oh come on” She shouted striking the sphere at the top. The sphere suddenly shot a purple beam of pure magical energy at the manticore. The fillies shielded their eyes from the blast.

When the room became visible the fillies gazed upon the manticore. It was frozen in place a look of horror on it’s face. Slowly standing to full height it let loose a massive growl. They noticed it’s eyes had gone red and it looked slightly larger.

“Run?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Run” The other two agreed.

The crusaders then ran out of the back exit to the temple screaming their heads off followed by a very angry manticore attracting everything within a couple of miles to their location, Including a pony and one certain draconequus

Present Time

Maud finally caught up to Discord as they tore through the forest to the screams. “ Tell you what my dear Maud” Discord huffed “Today certainly has been different from my usual schedule” Maud couldn't agree more as she ran equally as tired alongside him.

“Discord you must concentrate a pony’s life is in danger” Maud reminded him.

“Yeah,Yeah I know” Discord replied.

After another minute of running in silence they finally came to the source of the screams in a clearing. A huge manticore that would make the timberwolf from earlier look like a little puppy stood facing three fillies who Maud could vaguely remember as the cutie mark crusaders.

“Discord distract the manticore” Maud said bluntly.

“Like you even had to ask” Discord grinned.

Donning a long poncho and handling a whip and red cloth he conjured from thin air he leaped at the manticore.

“Oi you” Discord shouted.

The manticore turned and growled showing Discord his unnatural red eyes.

“Your mother was a smelly pirate hooker!” Discord grinned using his ability to talk to animals.

The manticore roared furiously at the insult but made no motion to move. He obviously didn’t want to give up his catch of three fillies he now had cornered.

“Oh you want more?” Discord questioned. “Well I personally suggest you go back to your home on whore island!”

The manticore had finally had enough. It reared up on its hind paws now standing a good five foot above Discord and charged.

Discord readied his red cloth and steadied himself as the beast approached. “ Come and get it” Discord taunted. As the beast charged him he swung around flashing the red cloth in the manticore's face as it charged by striking it on the side with the whip as he did so. “Sorry not fast enough my dear manticore” If anything the whip only made it more angry than actually hurting it.

Maud nearly facehooved. Discord did plenty of things she didn’t understand such as the Harley Davidson and basically everything else. She didn’t even know what a Harley Davidson was to start off with! But taunting a manticore. Yep that just took it to new levels.

However it provided an opportunity as Discord was taunting the manticore it gave Maud a chance to grab the fillies.  “Come on lets go we don’t have much time” She said as she approached them.

“Hey your pinkie’s sister aren’t ya?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yes but introductions can wait follow me”

Maud turned back to Discord as he finished another pass with the manticore who was now covered in red marks but not showing a hint of pain. “ Lets go Discord we have to get them to safety”

“Always spoiling my fun aren’t you?” Discord grumbled. “Oh well until next time” Discord addressed the manticore. “Just let me give you a little parting gift” He grinned evilly.

So evil was the grin that it made the manticore stop in it’s tracks. It growled uncertainly as it slowly backed away. Discord’s grin grew in size as he clicked his talons. The manticore was covered in a field of twisting energy slowly twisting around it. When the field disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared the manticore was left with… bright pink fur. “ Oh you look simply fabulous darling!” Discord said barely holding back his laughter. The manticore howled in misery similar to the timberwolf had as it held it’s pink arm in front of it’s face. Still howling it ran through the forest shamed and humiliated beyond belief.

“Well that was fun!” Discord exclaimed turning back to the group of ponies.

“Come on lets go before anything else tries to eat us” Maud said to the three fillies snapping them out of their shock of seeing a manticore completely destroyed by Discord. Together they all ran to the edge of the forest back to the point where Discord and Maud had entered.

“Thanks for saving us Mr Discord and Miss Maud” The three fillies said happy smiles on their faces.

“Well we couldn't just leave you there with a manticore” Maud said.

“Say how did that manticore start chasing you?” Discord asked them.

The fillies ears spayed back in shame as they recounted their story. “ Well we kinda accidentally wound up in the old castle” Scootaloo said chuckling nervously.

“Yeah and then we found this big pink sphere and we took it” Sweetie Belle said looking the other way.

“Then we saw this big manticore an he attacked us so we used the sphere and he got real mad” Apple Bloom admitted.

“Hmmm” Discord said stroking his beard with a claw. “May I see this sphere.

“Sure” Scootaloo said as she took it from her scooter that had somehow been brought along.

The sphere seemed to glow brighter in Discord’s presence.

Discord’s eyes grew to massive proportions as he looked at the sphere.

“Oh how I have missed you pester sphere!” He cried swinging it around in a circle.

“That’s a what?” Maud asked.

“A pester sphere” Discord explained. “It fires a concentrated beam of magic, If it hits the target will grow in size get angry and obtain red eyes” Discord raised an eyebrow. “Surprising I didn't notice the red eyes when I was facing it, too much stuff in my head” He said while shaking his head producing a rattling noise. “ I had it taken a long time ago by those princesses of yours, It must have been left in the castle” He nodded as he clicked his talons making the sphere disappear.

Maud looked satisfied with Discord’s explanation and turned towards the cutie mark crusaders.“Alright, make sure you don’t tell anyone about this, No point needlessly getting into trouble” Maud said

“Okay and thanks again!” Sweetie Belle said as the crusaders rushed away on their next crazy adventure.

“So what next we have still got some time want to cause more chaos?” Discord asked that grin back on his face.

“Lets just get away from this forest I've had enough for one day” Maud sighed.

Discord nodded and together they walked the path back to ponyville.

Twilight's Little Mistake

The air around Discord and Maud buzzed with life as the mismatched duo made their way down the path from the EverFree. Maud sighed like she had done so many times today. All she really wanted was a peaceful day with her sister, But no she was stuck with the Draconequus king of chaos. Deciding to voice her opinions she turned to Discord.

“Perhaps we should just go and wait at the bakery, I would prefer to refrain from getting into trouble again” Maud sighed yet again and looked to the ground.

“Don’t tell me little fibs Maud I know you enjoyed yourself” Retorted Discord. “How could you not when in the presence of Moi?”

Maud flashed him an annoyed look as they rounded a corner. Ponyville finally came into view. Visible as a sprawling utopia of happiness and sunshine. “Better than that forest” Thought Maud. The pair made their way to the entrance of ponyville. The duo attracted a lot of attention while passing through the town, mainly due to their escapades earlier. Many ponies had not come close to becoming comfortable in Discord’s presence. His crazy antics and pranks did not help that fact. Now with the tales of their quest of annoyance spread through the town they openly looked at him in fear and shied away from him. Discord loving the attention had to take advantage. He fake lunged at anyone nearby once in a while. Effectively giving free heart attacks as he went by.

Maud simply watched as they walked not even bothering to stop Discord. She couldn't really do much anyway. “Well,Well what do we have here?”Discord said with a distinctly evil tone. Maud followed his line of sight to Twilight’s tree house, The afternoon sun refracted perfectly through the branches and made it look like it was crafted purely by magic, which ironically it was.

“I know who we haven’t messed with today!” Exclaimed Discord.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to annoy the princesses star student” Maud asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes” Came Discord’s short reply.

“Alright Spike Starswirl’s magical theorem advanced workings of the stars should go on the top left shelf at the back” Twilight ordered reading from a list.

“Yep” Spike replied grabbing a ladder. Spike did love Twilight as if she was his own sister but she could really annoy him sometimes. Today was perfect not a cloud in sight and Twilight insisted he help her reorganise her books for the third time this week. True Princess Celestia was visiting tomorrow but she could let him take a break! She had to bribe him with gems to get him to do it. “Should be illegal doing that” Spike thought.

“What a waste of a good day” Spike muttered under his breath.

“What was that Spike?” Twilight asked looking up from her notes.

“Oh nothing just talking to myself, yep thats all!” Spike said with a fake happy countenance.

Twilight had grown up with Spike she knew better than anyone when he was lying. Sighing she rose and approached him from behind. “Maybe I’ve been working him to hard he is only a baby dragon” She thought.

“Spike listen I know I’m being very annoying at the moment but once the visit by the Princess is over I’ll be less of a grouch” She said with a grin.

Spike stifled a smile she knew just what to say to get him to feel better.

“I don’t know, I think some compensation is deserved for this behaviour, preferably sapphires” Spike said with an open grin.

“I think you do deserve them, I’m sorry Spike you must be pretty ticked off with me keeping you inside all day” Twilight said with a sheepish smile.

“Thanks Twi” Spike said hugging her legs. Twilight hugged him back and they shared a little moment of sibling love.

“Though I wouldn't mind something to make this day more exciting” Spike added.

Oh how he would come to regret those words.

Just as the touching moment between Spike and Twilight was about to end, The door to the library suddenly burst open. Doves flew around the room and a great symphony of music started to play from seemingly nowhere. Discord slid into the library bowing to an imaginary audience as he did so. A couple of minutes later Maud followed looking decidedly frazzled.

“Thank you for your warm welcome mares and gentle stallions” Discord said finishing off his slide looking expectantly at Twilight and Spike. All he got was an annoyed glare and a tired sigh. “Seriously, I thought it was just her!” Discord motioned to Maud.” But all the ponies in this town seem to hate fun, Including the resident dragon of course” Discord added.

“Look Discord while Maud is always welcome here you I cannot trust, I’ve heard of your little adventures around town and you need to stop it!” Twilight fumed pointing at Discord with a hoof.

“What,me?” Discord said in mock shock. “But I’m reformed now, you can’t be so prejudiced on rumours my dear, I’ll have you know those friends of yours have hurt me far more then I hurt them”

“Alright Fine you're allowed in, But one hint of chaos and your rump will be over the fireplace!”

“So much of your mother’s fiery passion in you” Discord remarked as Twilight turned away.

“WHAT!” Twilight shouted as she wheeled back around.

“Nothing dear Twilight” Discord said slowly turning away with a smirk.

With almost literal steam flowing from her ears Twilight took one last glare at Discord before going back to studying. Spike and Maud gave each other a look that needed no explanation and they both turned back towards their partners.

Maud now completely used to Discord made no comment on what he had just said. Instead she decided to get to the point and ask the direct question “ So what are you going to do here?”

“Wait” Discord’s vague response came after a couple of seconds.

“If you wouldn't mind a little more explanation please Discord”

“Something will happen don’t you worry” Discord replied not turning his attention from the book he was holding called “Draconequus an innate guide to their powers and ministrations” Conjuring a reading chair suitable to his size he sat down and began to read paying no attention to Maud.

Maud just sighed and turned away unable to explain Discord’s sudden change in behaviour. He was so erratic it wouldn't surprise her if he was bi-polar.

After a couple of minutes searching for a good book Discord’s words came true as Spike’s cheeks suddenly bulged and he released a gout of green fire and a scroll bearing the personal insignia of the royal sisters. Maud looked up to the sound but Discord merely kept reading.

“ Twilight letter” Spike said snapping Twilight out of her study trance.

“Thanks spike” Twilight said grabbing the scroll with her magic she undid the ribbon binding it and began to read.

My faithful student

I apologise for the shortness and bluntness of this letter but It seems the unthinkable as happened. The event only known as “Cake” has occurred. I know only you and Luna know of the power this could hold if the secret of this operation ever fell into other hoofs. The sources indicate it came from sweet apple acres less than ten minutes ago. I need you to find whomever heard of this and wipe their memories of the incident! Hurry my student because time is of the essence.

Your ever loving mentor

Princess Celestia

“So… what is it” Spike motioned a claw to tell Twilight to read it. Twilight did not respond for a bit but then she suddenly rose and made for the door. “Twilight wait what's happening is Canterlot in trouble?”

Twilight looked back and said “Yes Spike it is. Look after the library while I’m gone” Without further explanation for her odd actions she took off out the door.

“ I love it when a plan comes together” Discord thought grinning evilly.

Discord finally looked up from his book. “Bit rude not saying goodbye don’t you think?”

Spike wheeled around at Discord’s voice. “ Ugh great now I’m stuck here with you!” He moaned.

“What would I do?” Discord asked innocently as if he didn't know.

Spike sighed in frustration he was used to dealing with difficulty due to Twilight’s “little” freak outs, But this was already getting annoying. “Listen just don’t touch anything, if you want me to get you anything I’ll be over at Twilight’s desk. Spike walked off before Discord could reply and annoy him further.

“That doesn’t really help your predicament Discord, Spike will report to Twilight if you try anything” Maud said.

“You want to help?” Discord replied looking down at Maud.

“Just observe”

“Very well let me think then”

“Just one question”

“Yes?”

“What are you trying to do?”

“You’ll see” Discord turned away cutting off the conversation and thought for a moment.

“Got it!” He exclaimed suddenly with a snap of his talons to punctuate the speech.

Maud said nothing because she knew Discord’s plan would become apparent soon enough.

“Oh Spike I need your help!” Discord said in a mocking voice.

“What is it Discord” Spike huffed as he walked over.

“I completely forgot, But Rarity gave me this letter for you” Discord said.

“Really?” Spike said with hopeful eyes not even questioning why Rarity would give it to Discord.

“Oh yes” Discord nodded. “Hook, Line and sinker” He thought. Discord’s power luckily for him allowed him to procure a letter in Rarity’s hoof writing that she wished to see him immediately. “Here you go” Discord said with a straight face barely kept that way from how the dragon was so easy to manipulate.

“Oh wow I gotta get there!” Spike exclaimed happily not so much as glancing back at Discord and Maud as he ran out of the library.

“And that Maud is how you do it!” Discord said.

“Alright so you are now in control of Twilight’s library so now what?”

“ Now we have some fun!”

Maud had been waiting downstairs for ages. Discord was busy romping through Twilight’s personal book collection. She could also hear him muttering. “Well this can’t get weirder. Oh yes it could and as Maud was about to see it did.

A large bang from outside roused Maud out from her thoughtful state. So intrigued by the noise she failed to notice Discord had stopped muttering and talking to himself.

Reaching for the door handle Maud slowly pulled the door open and much like Pinkie was just experiencing saw pure chaos.

The whole square where the library was located was in total disarray. The first thing Maud noticed was something Pinkie did not. The moon that had once been Luna’s treasure had now been replaced with one that looked like a face. With beady red eyes and a mouth with dirty grey teeth. Not that Maud knew it was the moon from the Legend of Zelda. To.To her it looked like a demon from hell had replaced the moon. Tearing her attention from the demon moon she looked closer to the ground.

Most buildings around the library were either turned upside down or disfigured in some way. Ponies ran in all directions to get away as one particular house decided to start bouncing causing earth rattling shakes. The ground was also deformed and split open at regular intervals to catch ponies passing over the traps. Even more chaos became apparent as hundreds of animals from the Everfree including Manticores, Hydras , Swarms of parasprites and bunnies came through the town. Hell, Maud could even see the huge TimberWolf from earlier.

Slowly closing the door Maud turned around to see Discord walking down the stairs with a strange aura covering him as he grinned at her.

“What did you do!?” Maud finally snapped at him.

“Two things” Discord replied with that evil grin.” One I got a decent reaction out of you” He said punching the air in joy.

“And two?” Maud questioned cutting his celebration short.

“Two” Discord said suddenly stopping and looking her in the eye. Maud was slightly disturbed by the look in Discord’s eye, then he continued.

“Two, I’m having fun!”

Final Straw

Before Maud could reply to Discord’s statement Discord flung himself out of the library window. Glass shards landed and crunched underneath his feet as he landed. “What has he done?” Thought Maud. The obvious answer to her was he had gotten his claws on a spell book that Twilight kept in her personal bookcase but she wasn't sure if that was the case.

Not that she was really thinking about that as Discord was now skipping around celebrating in the chaos he had caused. “Oh Maud would you care to join me for a spot of tea?” Discord’s voice carried through the door. Maud had no time to react as she was forcefully brought outside and chained to a small tree by a rubber band.

Discord observed the tree. It was coloured pink and yellow. “No that can’t be” He thought. He checked the tree for life signs. “Wow that tree is literally FlutterShy, Oh well at least she got her wish” Discord thought as he shrugged. Turning his attention back to Maud he began a tirade… Again.

“So cruel I thought we were friends! Not joining me oh the irony!” Discord wailed in mock sadness. For what seemed like the thousandth time that day Maud sighed and shook her head.

“Discord will you just stop for a second” Maud cut in irritated.

“Ohh annoyed are we? Don’t you worry your little pony head no pony will be hurt in fact so many people wanted their day to be spiced up and that’s exactly what I did they should be thanking me!” Discord said as he conjured up a cup of tea and took a sip.

“Ah Earl Hay marvellous don’t you think?” Discord inquired.

Maud simply looked at him in disappointment and annoyance.

“Spoilsport” Discord muttered.

A faint roaring sound assailed their ears suddenly. Discord squinted and looked up, In the distance a faint rainbow trail could be seen heading towards them at supersonic speeds.

“This will be a problem, But I think I know how to fix it” Discord thought grinning evilly.

The sound from the rainbow trail became higher in pitch due to the Doppler effect she would be here soon and Discord knew exactly how to deal with her. Finally the rainbow span and twisted in mid-air to land next to Discord as it cleared the very pissed off Rainbow Dash became visible.

“Discord I don’t know what you did but fix it now!” Rainbow shouted her cerise eyes locked on to Discord’s blood red ones.

“No” Came Discord’s short mocking reply.

“Oh that is it, Stick em up!” Rainbow said as she reared onto her hind legs and began to trot around Discord throwing mock punches.

Discord facepalmed as she did so. “These ponies never learn” he grumbled.

“Ya wanna speak up Discord?” Rainbow asked.

Clicking his talons Discord immobilised Rainbow where she stood and stopped her in her tracks.

“Hey lemme go!” Rainbow said as she struggled against her bonds.

“Hmmm what to do, What to do?” Discord said stroking his beard in thought. He looked up at the sky. “Pinks getting a bit old for the sky don’t you think so Rainbow?” Discord asked.

“Where are you taking this Discord?” Rainbow narrowed her eyes.

“Oh I just think the sky could do with some colour!” Discord exclaimed as he clicked his talons. Suddenly the sky burst into a verdant mix of all the colours in the rainbow. “It’s so beautiful!” Discord said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

“Um is that it” Rainbow asked confused. She thought he was going to douse her in white paint or something like that.

“Oh no just one more thing” Discord smirked as he conjured a mirror and held it in front of her. Dash stared back at her reflection. All the colour from her mane had gone and it was now a dull black and white. “ You should see the look on your face, Oh wait you are looking at it!” Discord rolled around in laughter. Suddenly he let the restraints on Rainbow go and she flew into the air desperate to get away. Discord laughed all the while as she sped off. “Oh my that was hilarious!” Discord exclaimed.

Slowly Discord regained his footing and seemingly forgetting the incident with Rainbow conjured a box of chicken wings and took a bite out of one of the chicken wings. “Hmm needs sauce” Discord said. He conjured up some purple hot sauce of sorts and began to eat that with the wing. “Oh well maybe I took things a bit far but its Twilights fault for allowing me use of unrestrained magic” Discord said noticing Maud’s withering gaze.

Suddenly a loud scream broke both of their attentions from their little argument. Two heads turned towards the disturbance, Discord’s manic grin quickly grew into a worried and horrified expression while Maud took on a look of content.

The ever infamous Pinkie Pie was standing at less than one hundred feet away and she did not look happy. Perhaps that’s an understatement, In truth her mane was flat and all that emotion in her eyes were gone. “Oh dear” Said Discord as Pinkie stared at him.

Suddenly Pinkie let loose a shout “Nopony breaks their Pinkie promise!”. Then she proceeded to leap at the duo at crazy speeds.

“If she kills me and sends my soul for infinite torture to the depths of tartarus there is a case under my bed at FlutterShys destroy it would you” Discord said in an uncharacteristically calm voice. He didn’t really have time to say much else as Pinkie slammed into him like a thunderbolt.

“YOU LIED, YOU SAID YOU WOULD LOOK AFTER HER!” Pinkie shouted standing over Discord. “YOU BETTER STOP THIS SPELL RIGHT NOW MISTER!”

Discord knew Pinkie couldn't hurt him but looking into those deranged eyes he began to rethink on that point. “Alright, Alright I’ll stop the spell just mush off my body and I will turn everything back” Discord grumbled.

“YOU BETTER OR SOMEONE’S GETTING A SURPRISE FROM THE PARTY CANNON” Pinkie said still shouting.

“First I need to get her to stop shouting” Discord thought. Luckily he knew the way to defuse her from this volatile situation. Turning to Maud he released her. “I’m sorry about all the pain, agony and annoyance I have put you through Maud can you forgive me?” Discord said in mock sincerity.

Maud easily seeing through his ruse decided to play along. As she got up she dusted herself off. “You're forgiven” She said.

Pinkie’s mood suddenly went from murderous to happy in a few seconds. Her mane poofed out and she got a happy smile back on. “That wasn't so hard now was it you silly billy!” She said happily.

Discord mentally face palmed he actually considered taking the mare to a psychiatrists for a mental health check-up least it was proved she had a double personality disorder. But Discord then focussed his attention on the town. It was in beautiful shambles and it would be a horrible waste of time to just ruin it but he didn't want another psychotic episode from Pinkie so in his mind it was best to comply. He was meant to be reformed anyway so he should play along for now.

Snapping his talons the magical aura around him disappeared and all the chaos magic was released. The houses stopped moving around and settled down. The ground shook and the fissures that had grabbed running ponies from before regurgitated them back onto the road and closed up. All the wild animals including the pink manticore and giant TimberWolf stopped running around the town and reverted back to normal. Roaring in approval all the animals fled back to the forest desperate to get away from Discord. Finally the sky turned back to its normal colour meaning Discord had returned the colour to Rainbow’s mane. After a minute ponies started to appear around the corners wearily.

“Uhh what happened?” Came a soft voice from near Maud. They all turned to find Fluttershy standing groggily looking around in confusion.

“I made your dream come true” Discord said.

“What was that?” Fluttershy asked.

Before Discord could reply a bright flash assailed their eyes. When it cleared the other elements of harmony and both princesses appeared. The elements were all wearing their necklaces and both Fluttershy and Pinkie’s floated toward their respective bearer and attached themselves to them.

“DISCORD THOU IS GUILTY OF MASS PUBLIC DISTURBANCE AND PROPERTY DESTRUCTION, YOU WILL BE HUNG FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS!” Luna shouted using her royal Canterlot voice.

“Luna voice, and we don’t have the death penalty now that was outlawed years ago” Celestia chided her sister. Luna merely rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Discord.

“Ah reckon we should turn him back to stone” AppleJack suggested obviously still angry over the barn destruction and the snake incident.

“I second that” Rainbow said immediately.

“Hold on a moment” Said Celestia.

The talk immediately died down as Celestia spoke.

“Do you swear you were not trying to harm my little ponies?” Celestia questioned looking at Discord with indifference.

“Oh come off it Celestia you know that’s not how I do things” Discord replied still miffed that his fun had been taken away.

Celestia scrutinized him again. “Well I believe there is only one course of action.” She stated.

Everyone leaned forward anxious to hear.

“Discord because of your experience with the magic of friendship and because you cannot be trusted here you will move to canterlot and become Luna's new friendship instructor.” Celestia said with a big smile on her face damn she is such a troll!

“What?!” Eight voices cried out the only one being silent was Maud.

Discord thought for a moment.” Actually this might not be so bad” He thought as he looked at Luna’s horrified expression. “Actually this might be fun!” Giving Luna his biggest evil grin and a wink Discord prepared for another fun chapter this time with Luna in Canterlot.

Thats it everyone. To those who suffered through my flawed piece of work I applaud you. I am thinking of a sequel for the story with the obvious premise of Discord and Luna. Thanks for reading this story and I hope you liked it!

Interlude1: Into The EverFree

Discord and Maud walked away from the gate that signified the start of sweet apple acres. Well, one walked the other floated on air humming to himself. “ Ahh I’m boored!” Discord whined as he floated back onto the ground. “ Why does nothing happen around here” he continued to gripe. Maud simply shook her head and walked on. Only 20 more minutes of being escorted by a draconequus with a sadistic streak a mile wide to go before she was in the presence of Pinkie who could hopefully put a stop to his antics.

“Ooh I know lets go on an adventure” Discord said happily.

“No” Maud replied.

“But treasure and evil monsters an…”

“No” Maud cut over him.

“Still no fun y’know”

Maud frowned inwardly. During their little escapade in sweet apple acres she forgot how infuriating Discord could be. Suddenly a high pitched scream echoed throughout the landscape even bringing Discord to a standstill. Ferocious roars echoed over the scream as they listened.

“ Someone is in trouble, have no fear Discord is here!” Shouted the draconequus. A deep red cape and blue suit suddenly appeared on him. The suit had a large red D on the front. Maud had no time to wonder what that suit meant before Discord gallantly charged into the forest.

Maud snapped out of her position of thought and internally decided whether to follow Discord.

She eventually decided to. Whoever was in that forest needed help and while Discord was distracting the beast she could evacuate anyone there. Discord was a buffoon but even he wouldn't let someone come to harm. Steeling her nerves she rushed into the forest after him...