The Moon is NOT Made Out of Cheese!

by Crackers

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna
Length: 1758

After an argument breaks out, Celestia tells her sister, Luna, as a prank that the moon is now made out of cheese. Of course, Luna goes to see for herself. What she doesn't realise that getting to the moon isn't really that easy.

After a rather one sided argument breaks out, Celestia tells her sister, Luna, as a prank that the moon is made out of cheese. Of course, Luna goes to see for herself, driven on by the hunger she has. What she doesn't realise is that getting to the moon isn't really that easy.

Published 2014-06-10 21:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-10 21:50:03 UTC

"Go and Eat Your Moon''

Luna was hungry. Starving, famishing, whatever fancy synonyms for 'hungry' that Twilight could throw at her. She hadn't eaten for two days; could you blame her?

'Actually, you haven't eaten for only two hours,' her mind told Luna.

'Hush,' Luna scowled and pulled open the fridge door. It was unfair. Celestia made her eat little, saying that Princesses aren't meant to be fat and Luna was already passing the limit, but she had a small suspicion that her sister was pulling her leg. In an evil way. Because Twilight was fatter than her and Celestia had no problem with that.

Her mouth watered and she focused her attention back on the fridge - the empty fridge. Luna's mouth dropped open, her tummy rumbling in complaint. Hadn't she ordered her guards to stock up the fridge? She immediately thought that they hadn't obeyed her orders, but that was impossible. They never refused to do something that a Princess wanted them to do. The only other conclusion she could come to was that the evil force of Canterlot had stolen her food.

That evil force? It had always been more evil than Discord was in the past. Heck, it was more evil than Discord, Tirek and Queen Chrysalis put together. That is evil. And there's only one thing in Equestria that is more evil than the said beings.

Princess Celestia. Luna hurried out of the kitchen, heading for her sister's chambers. Which were, by the way, on the other side of the castle.

* * *

Honestly, Luna was the best Alicorn ever. Foals in Equestria all knew that. So did the adults. The only ponies who didn't know that were Twilight, Celestia, Cadence, Shining Armour, and those pesky Crystal Ponies. She hated them. That was mostly by the fact that she hadn't been there to be crystalified.

Anyway, Luna could do everything. Name something, and she'd do it. Except jumping through rings of fire. And a thousand dozen other stuff. But along with those thousand dozen other stuff, she couldn't run fast. Or fly fast, for that matter. So Luna had a lot of trouble getting to her sister's chambers, which were, as already mentioned, at the other side of the castle. She could have just teleported there, but after reluctantly reading the books Cadence published, she really didn't want to appear in Celestia's chambers. Per usual, the thought that she could easily teleport outside the room didn't cross her mind.

She was the total opposite of her sister. But then, when Celestia had flown all the way to Ponyville just to get a letter from that dog named Spike, she had also caused an earthquake by landing on Twilight's balcony. Actually, Spike might be a dragon instead. She didn't completely understand why he had a dog's name.

'And she calls me fat,' Luna rolled her eyes. But you got the point - herself and her sister were polar opposites and she wanted it to stay that way.

The dark blue Alicorn didn't bother knocking on her sister's door. She just flung it open with her telekinesis. Celestia was sitting on her bed, reading. Ugh. Luna didn't see the point in reading. She had only read a few in her long life. It was kind of humiliating, though, when some foals in Ponyville had read more books than her.

Celestia slammed her book after reading the last page and glared at her sister, "Don't you know what knocking on a door is?" She scowled, "I always knock on your door."

"That's the point." Luna replied nonchalantly. She only received a half-bewildered half-angry look from her fellow Alicorn, but she didn't go into detail, "Anyway, I'm hungry. And I think you stole the food in the kitchen."

"Again," Celestia commented. Luna always came barging into her room when she ran out of food or suspected her sister of stealing something. On several occasions, she actually had stolen something, but even though she pretended to be nice to her sister in public, she was a tyrant inside. But then, to be fair, Luna was an annoying sister. Who could have a sister more annoying than Luna?

Nopony. Well, nopony other than Rarity, of course, but that was only one pony. Luna glared at her sister, picking up on the fact that Celestia was, in fact, not trying to prove her innocence. She was quite convinced that should the older Alicorn go to court for being suspected of committing a crime (which was unlikely, her being the ruler of Equestria, although she had committed several crimes. Stealing her sister's food, of one), she'd not survive a chance. What would Luna do? She'd be the prosecutor, of course.

Seeing that Celestia had opened her book again, Luna stamped her hoof angrily, "Well? Did you take my food?"

"Maybe," Celestia replied vaguely, trying to stuff an ice pole wrapper under the bed as inconspicuously as she could. Fortunately, her sister really didn't seem to see. She rolled her eyes. The food wasn't even Luna's. Their cooks, servants, Celestia liked to call them had said themselves that the food was for both of then. Sincerely, she didn't understand why they couldn't have made two servings so both of the sisters could have one, but, to be honest, there as an awful lot of food in the...well, food she had been served.

She was feeling seriously fat. Was that how Twilight felt twenty four seven?

"That means yes," Luna concluded, blowing out of her nostrils hard.

At that moment, she looked comically like a bull. Celestia wondered what a dark blue coloured Bouffalant would look like. Probably very ugly. There wouldn't be too much difference between the Luna she was seeing now, and the Luna in Bouffalant form.

Luna stomped her hoof again. Celestia didn't really look at bull animations, but she knew that Bouffalants stamped their hooves as well, "Well? Go and get me some food then!"

"From where?" The other pony snapped. She wasn't even listening anymore and had instead preoccupied herself with finding the page she was previously reading. Celestia couldn't be bothered to go down to the cooks, and anyway, it wasn't her that was being hungry. True, she had eaten all the food, but now that Luna was hungry, it was her sister's problem not hers.

"Agh!" Luna exclaimed, fluttering her wings in clear agitation, "Anywhere! Tell me where to get some food!"

Celestia focused on her sister, wondering if she had a screw loose. It was a simple teleportation spell to the kitchen. "Go to the kitchen."

The dark blue Alicorn snorted. Like a bull. "But they take ages to make food," she whined, a hint of petulance creeping into her voice - that was how hungry she was, but Luna knew that her sister wasn't sympathetic, especially towards her, and wouldn't care if she even started crying.

"Just," Celestia gritted her teeth. She wanted to get rid of Luna, but anything she could do would any get rid of her for an hour or two. Unless it was about that stupid, 'priceless' moon of hers. Or about her hunger. The princess's eyes widened. She was a genius! Well, at least she thought so. Not many others did. Anyway, the sooner Celestia got the plan into the action, the sooner Luna would be gone, "Just go and eat your moon!"

As anticipated, Luna looked at her sister with an expression of confusion. Celestia's face in contrast was nonchalant, her fluttering wings the only sign betraying her, "Oh, didn't you know?"

"Know what?" The blue pony asked curiously, her desire to know as much, if not more, than her elder overwhelming her.

Celestia opened her bedside cabinet and took out a pair of cotton buds. Before she put them in her ears, she replied with great gusto, "The moon is made out of cheese. Ponies have been trying to eat some for years, but they were too scared you'd...ah...turn Nightmare Moon on them."

Seeing her sister's mouth drop open, Celestia quickly stuffed the cotton buds in her ears and held them down tight with her magic, feeling apprehensive of the upcoming danger but also relishing to hear Luna's terror.

* * *

It was a normal Friday morning in Canterlot. All the ponies who lived in the place had their noses up - as usual - their heads high - as usual - and they had their eyes closed - as usual. Nopony actually knew how they managed to walk around with their eyes closed, but they could. Every pony else was just...walking around, drinking tea, you get the picture. It was actually quite a happy sight.

But then, all this perfect harmony was ruined by a high pitched scream. That was, to be precise, coming from the Canterlot Castle.

One of the Canterlot mares stopped walking and opened her eyes, looking at her friend, "I didn't know that Princess Celestia had such a high pitched scream,"

"Oh," her friend replied, looking up at the castle in the distance. Her face was completely devoid of any emotion, "That's Princess Luna's scream."

"Oh," the other pony lied, "I knew that."

Together, they walked on ahead to their destination as if nothing had happened.

* * *

Celestia removed the cotton buds from her ears as the screaming died out. Her sister had disappeared; teleported to who knows where. She momentarily contemplated going after Luna. To, you know, make sure she was safe. To make sure she didn't get mugged or bullied or something. The Alicorn put a hoof on her chin thoughtfully, but decided against it. Luna was a big pony now, she could handle it.

She opened her book to the right page and carried on reading as if nothing had happened.

Author's Note

So I wanted to make something that could make people relax on the science things, since for my last story people were arguing over the size of who knows what and how big some stars were, and whilst I don't have anything against you people doing that, I didn't really want to make people start arguing again. I mean, even the best scientists can't prove that the moon is made out of cheese....right?

Per usual, if you find any errors, just say so in the comments - I reply to the comments as best as I can, and even if I don't reply to any of them, rest assured that I've read them!