Where are my Flapjacks!

by Synthetic Soul

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Comedy
Length: 2183

Peter Griffin comes to equestria demanding flapjacks.

Peter Griffin comes to Equestria demanding flapjacks. Hilarity ensues. Or maybe it doesn't, I dunno.

Published 2014-05-13 23:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-13 23:40:04 UTC

If you'll recall

Story Inspired by this:

It was a nice and peaceful day in Ponyville. It was even more peaceful for one Twilight Sparkle, who was relaxing in her home, The Golden Oaks Library. She was currently reading a book on mythical beings. Spike brought her a warm cup of tea. All was perfect, when suddenly-

*Thwack!* Twilight gasped, and turned her head.

"What in Equestria!" Her door had been kicked down. And standing above her door was the strangest thing she'd ever seen. It was some sort of fat bipedal being. It was hairless except for it's brown mane. It wore a white collard short sleeve shirt, and green pants. It also had glasses, though it was hard to tell. What surprised Twilight even more, was that this creature could talk.

"Wheeere are my flapjacks!" he yelled. Twilight was so stunned that it took her a full sixty seconds to answer.

"W-what? Who and what are you?" replied Twilight. The creature replied, with a still raised voice.

"If you'll recall last night, I sat forlorn across the bed with a nudy magazine between my legs, I requested flapjacks for my morning sustenance."

"I don't even know you, why would I make you flapjacks?" replied Twilight. "I don't even cook, my slave Spike does."

"WHERE ARE MY FLAPJACKS!" screamed the creature.

"I think you have me confused with somepony else," replied Twilight.

"For every minute I do not have flapjacks, I shall break one window," said the creature.

"You most certainly will not!" said Twilight. The creature walked up to Twilight's window, and punched it, shattering the glass.

"Hey!" yelled Twilight. The creature walked up to the next window, and broke that one too.

"Stop it!" yelled Twilight.

"I can't believe this, at this point, you're being as irresponsible as I am!" yelled the creature.

"I'm calling the royal guard!" yelled Twilight.

"Hold on a second there champ," said the creature. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag with a white powder in it. He reached in and retrieved some of the dust, brought it up to his nose, and snorted it.

"What are you doing?!" asked Twilight. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, the creature had a few differences. Its eyes were red, its hair standing on all ends, and its fists were balled.

"I am so freaking ready!" he said through clenched teeth. Then he jumped through Twilight's roof and into the sky above.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash was enjoying a relaxing day off, taking a nap on a cloud. Or at least she was trying to. There was this weird noise, and it was getting louder. It sounded like; 'eheheheheheheheheheh'. Finally, it got loud enough that she couldn't take it anymore.

"What the hay is that bucking noise!" yelled Rainbow. What she saw was a fat creature flailing its arms around. It shot straight past her.

"Whoa! That thing was fast! But nopony is faster than me!" and with that, she shot strait from her cloud, dissipating from the speed. She nearly had to go sonic rainboom in order to catch the creature, but once she did, she was able to keep in time with it.

"You're a pretty fast whatever you are!" said Dash.

"You're a pretty whatever fast you are!" said the creature.

"What?" asked Rainbow.

"Meep meep!" said the creature, who then dashed ahead.

"Aw hewl nah!" said Rainbow, dashing ahead (Get it?). She reached the creature after a few seconds. Suddenly, the creature stopped. Rainbow flew back towards the creature, and then proceeded to hover in mid air.

"Hey, why'd ya stop?" she asked. The creature just floated there. Then it closed its eyes, and sniffed the air. After a few seconds, it opened its eyes again.

"I smell...Sugar," said the creature (you know what, we both know what his name is, I'm just going to call him Peter). Peter suddenly dropped from the air, and landed on the ground, leaving a great crater. He climbed out of the crater, and stood before the most colorful building in town. It looked like a giant Gingerbread house. Peter opened the door, and walked through the door, and into the building. There he stood in front of the counter. Behind the counter was a pink pony, with a pink bubblegum mane. Despite seeing a completely alien creature, she kept her cheery composure.

"Hello, and welcome to Sugar Cube Corner, how can I help you!" she chirped.

"Yeah, I'll have one of those," said Peter. He lifted the glass case off of a double layer cake, and through it. As the glass shattered, Peter picked up the cake, and shoved the entire thing into his mouth. Pinkies jaw hung wide. Only she and Princess Celestia could do that! Peter licked his lips, and then reached into his pocket, and bulled out a brown wallet.

"Yeah, do you take visa?" asked Peter.

"What's a 'visa'?" she asked.

"Oh," said Peter. "I see." Peter pointed behind Pinkie and said "what's that over there?"

"Huh, what's where?" asked the pink pony. As soon as she turned around, Peter grabbed her by the mane, and slammed her head on the glass, knocking her out. Then he took all the bits out of the register, and petered out of the building (get it? no. ok ).

Meanwhile, Twilight was walking around town, searching for the fat creature who smashed her precious windows, On her back was a box, containing the Elements of Harmony, just in case she needed them. She looked to the sky, because the last time she saw the creature, it was flying. In the sky she saw her blue friend, Rainbow Dash in the sky.

"Rainbow! Can you come down here!" she asked. Rainbow lowered herself to the ground.

"What's up?" said Rainbow.

"Have you seen this strange creature around? It's fat, wears a white shirt, and green pants."

"Hey, yeah I saw it. Was pretty fast too. Last I saw, he was heading to Sugar Cube Corner."

"Alright, come with me! We need to get the girls, then we need to find that creature!" Rainbow and Twilight ran towards Sugar Cube Corner. When they arrived, the place was empty.

"Where is she?" asked Rainbow. Twilight looked behind the counter.

"Oh my Gosh! Pinkie!" twilight used her magic to levitate Pinkies body onto the ground next next to her. "We need to wake her up."

"I got it." Rainbow grabbed a cupcake, and waved it by her nose. Pinkie sniffed the oder, and then opened her mouth, swallowing the entire cupcake. Then she leaped into the air, and landed on all fours.

"Hey guys! What's up!" chirped Pinkie.

"Pinkie have you seen a strange creat-"

"Oh you mean Peter! Yep, he was here!"

"Pinkie, you didn't even let me finish. And how do you know his name?" asked Twilight.

"Family Guy is my favorite TV show!" replied Pinkie.

"What's a TV show? Oh, who cares, come on we need to get Fluttershy! Come on, let's go!" said Twilight. Then the three sprinted out the door, and headed for Fluttershy's cottage.
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Fluttershy was busy feeding her chickens. The chickens pecked at the grain on the ground. Just as Fluttershy set the bag of feed on the ground, an animal, the likes of which she'd never seen, ran into view, and punted one of the chickens, causing it to fly out of view. Fluttershy gasped. The creature picked up another chicken by the neck, and punched it, over and over again. He then dropped it on the ground, dead.

"H-how c-could you do such a thing!" cried Fluttershy. Peter turned to her, looking completely calm.

"Eh, sorry, I don't exactly get along with chickens.

Cue Cutaway

Peter is sitting on his couch, reading the newspaper, when suddenly his door is kicked down by a giant rooster. Peter gets to his feet, ready to fight. The rooster throws a sidekick, which Peter blocks. Peter kicks the rooster out the door. Peter leaves the house, and leaps onto the chicken. Peter repeatedly punched the chicken in the face. The chicken throws Peter off of him, and then stands up to fight again. Peter grabs his mailbox and rips it out of the ground. Peter swings the mailbox at the rooster, who dodges, and then delivers a kick to Peters gut. The two continue to brawl in the road, unaware of an incoming truck. The truck driver, seeing the two combatants, swerves to the right, causing the truck, and its trailer to fall on its side. Peter jumps onto the roosters head, jumping higher into the air, over the truck. The truck rams into the chicken, removing it from the fight. Peter lands on his feet and stares at the wreckage. Then he turns, and walks back to his house. In the wreckage, the chicken lies, bruised and beaten on the pavement. But then, a single eye opens.

End Cutaway

"What was that?" asked Fluttershy.

"That was one of my cutaways," replied Peter.

"A what?"

"You know, I already told you once, I'm outta here," replied Peter, who turned and walked away.

"What a strange creature," said Fluttershy.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Pinkie, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash closed in on Fluttershy's cabin. When they arrived, they saw Fluttershy crying over two dead chickens.

"Fluttershy, what happened!" asked Rainbow.

"*Sniff* This weird creature showed up, and punched my chickens...*sniff* to DEATH!" cried Fluttershy.

"Now he's killing chickens! He's gone too far! We have to catch him!" said Twilight. The four left the cottage, and ran towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Meanwhile, Peter had also found his way to Sweet Apple Acres.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a hard day at work for Applejack. She was all sweaty from apple bucking. It was time to get a drink. She left the tree she was on, and started heading towards her house, when suddenly she felt an enormous weight on her back. She looked up to see a large, fat creature sitting on her.

"What in tarnation!" (even she doesn't know what tarnation meant.)

"Whee! Ride em' horsey!" yelled the creature, who started to rock back in forth rodeo style. Suddenly, Applejack's legs buckled under her, and she collapsed under the creatures weight. She screamed in pain as her legs bent the wrong way, breaking her legs.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Why! Oh God Why!" she cried.

"Eh, I'm bored," said the creature, who got up off of Applejack, and just walked away. A few minutes later, Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Pinkie arrived on the scene. They all crowded around AJ, and her broken legs.

"Girls! Thank Aunt Jemimas biscuits y'all are here! This big fat creature went an broke Mah damn legs!" cried Applejack.

"We don't have time to care about your stupid problems. We have to catch that creature! We have the elements, now we need to get Rarity! said Twilight. "Come on, let's go!"

"Ah can't move!" said Applejack.

"Uh, you're so useless! Pinkie, grab her, and let's go!" said Twilight. Pinkie grabbed Applejack and the five ran towards Carousel boutique.

"Ow Mah tail! Ow, Mah bones!" cried Applejack as she was roughly dragged across the ground.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rarity was busy, and in deep concentration, sewing her newest design. Did I mention she was in deep concentration? OK good. Anyway, she only had a few more stitches left...she had to concentrate...concentrate...SUDDENLY her whore of a door slammed open! Startled, she accidentally jammed the needle into her hoof.

"Ahh, Celestia Damn It!" she cried. She looked over and saw the five ponies she was forced to be associated with, had burst through the door that she engaged in sexual relations with.

"Raritah! We need yo' elemunt!" said Twilight.

"Why?" asked Rarity.

"There's a big fat son of a businessmen running around, punching chickens, and breaking legs!" replied Twilight.

"Arg...Fine," replied Rarity, rolling her eyes. The six then left to go find Peter. When they found him, he'd set Scootaloo on fire, stabbed Derpy, and roundhouse kicked the mayor in the face.

"Roundhouse," said Peter. The six readied their elements and approached Peter.

"Your rampage of douchbaggery is over creature!" said Rainbow.

"So it seems," said Peter, eyes narrowed. The elements glowed, and the mane six floated up into the air. Their eyes glowed white, and a rainbow emanated from Twilight's tiara, and connected with the other elements. The girly rainbow shot forward, and blasted Peter with full force.

"Arg...still...doesn't hurt as much...as that time I got my penis...caught in a garbage disposal!" screamed Peter.

Setup Cutaway

I don't feel like doing a cutaway, plus it's pretty self explanatory.

End Cutaway

When the girls returned to the ground, and opened their eyes, they saw the former Peter trapped in stone. Peter was squatted down, but hanging out of his pants, and middle finger pointed towards the six. There was a wide grin on Peters face.

"Well, it looks like we're done here," said Rarity.

"Yeah. I'll have Spike carry the stature to Canterlot later," said Twilight. And that is the tale of how something happened in Equestria. The end.