My Amazing Fanfiction That is Actually Awful

by wafflesforthewin

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anthro, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 1314

Soooo. This isn't actually my real writing skills or art skills right here. DON'T COME AND SEE WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

You little rebel. I like you.

Anyway. My friend and I were having a fan fiction contest of who could come up with the worst mlp fan fiction. I labored for like an hour or something and created this. I intentionally misspelled things, used not an ounce of my writing skill, and used bad grammar everywhere. TAKE THAT GRAMMAR NAZIS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! …….. Ahem. I didn't win mostly because I just entertained the heck out of everyone. My friend told me to put it on this website. It's my first fan fiction that will actually be online and I am pretty sure I will never publish another one. But lets just see how this goes. PREPARE TO RUN FOR THE HILLS.

I don't own any of these characters. I just pull their strings.

And if you don't get some of these references it's not my problem. But they are as followed- Harry Potter, Dr. Who, Glee, Lord of the Rings, Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, Game of Thrones, Princess Bride, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Powerpuff Girls, The Hunger Games, Warehouse 13, Avatar the Last Airbender, Kingdom Hearts, Star Wars, Spiderman, Frozen, Mean Girls, Twilight, Attack on Titan, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Pokemon, DC comics*, and Adventure Time.

Phew.

*Brony Dick Grayson. No regrets.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-05 00:26:51 UTC

Books are Things You Read

Today were a wonderful day. The sun was shining, sky blue, grass green. Too bad Spike wasn’t actually outside today. He had to instead stay inside and dust Twilights books.

Twilight had said that she had to be going; she was going to meet her best friends Butterfly and Peppermint for a beheading. They were going to exterminate Pinkie Pie today. No big deal really.

Spike wanted to go anyway.

Spike put down the book he was holding. He picked it up again. He then put it down. He picked up another book. He read the title.

How to Travel to Other Plains of Reality for Beginners and Blondes was the title. Spike was both a beginner and a blonde. Sort of a blonde. But not really. No not at all actually

Spike opened the book. He turned the page. He turned another page. It was a page turner.

He then learning that all you needed to go to another dimension was to go and make a soup bunny meat, half of an apple, ten green rubies, virgin blood, and cupcake frosting. The virgin blood was the hardest to find.

  Spike drank the soup. This would show Twilight to hang out with him. He only regretted not saying good bye to Osacar the aardvark.

“Jump, Jump, Hoodle dooo, Clop, Clop, Bang, Bang, Derp the Derbpy, RAZAMAFOO!”  Spike said.

Then he vanish.

Sandwiches

They all went to the next dimension. It had a blue police booth that Dr. Hooves normally used in it. Like what the heck was that about. They were shooted the man the fez.

They shot a bunch of singing kids in one world, they shot a hobbit in another, shot a hitch hiker and his guide to the galaxy, a scary lady dragon trainer, shot a man who said was looking for a six fingered man, shot a vampire slayer her friend named Spike (that was totally not cool, #identity theft), shot some Chemical X regects with no thumbs, a girl on fire, some punks in a thirteenth warehouse, killed a bald boy with and arrow on him head, killed a boy with a giant key, the droids they were looking for, a annoying kid with web slingers, a snowman with a suicidal urge to see summer, and some random guy with four candy canes.

They then had sandwiches.

They shot down some vampires whose sparkle. A warm feeling spread in each of them as millions of voices screamed “Halleluiah!”

Then they attacked on titan, broke bad, and made men mad.

The only met trouble in too places. This kid with weird hair chase after them screaming he had to catch them all. He then through his balls at them. They shot him and danced on his grave.

They lost Gerumble in a dark city universe. They met three strangly dressed humans with masks observing them on a roof. They were to busy shooting people to notice the tree humans. The two females had bats on there chests. The male had a blue bird on his chest and gaudy gautlets.

“What are those things…” said the first female.

“I think their kind a cool in a “trying to kill all Gothamites” sort of way, Cass.” said the second.

“NO THESE THINGS ARE AMAZING, BRONIES FOREVER!” said the male.

“Nightwing is weird, Steph,” said the first female to the second.

“Me and Spike gonna take you down half breeds,” said Kickie.

The first female then immediately took down Gerumble. The second said hear we go and launched at Twilight. The male just stood in aw of all the awesomeness. Rifles went of.

“How can you ponies shoot guns with no hands!” said the second female. “This makes none sense at all. You don’t even have fingers for the trigger!”

“BUCK YOU AND YOUR SCIENCE!” said Twilight as the female went down with a blast from her horn.

It took Annie, Rigby, and Carrot to finish the first female. The male just finally kicked it in gear and was then shot.

They left Gerumble and flew away on an nyan cat.

They had sandwiches again.

They went back to the reality with the droids they were looking for for Yoyos’ wallet. They met a guy with a scary voice and black helmet.

“Spike, I am your father,” said the human (maybe).

“My father! I knew you would came back for me!” said Spike.

They then embraced in a hug. They then hugged some more.

Twilight asked if Spike wanted to stay. Spike said yes. Twilight left.

Spike and his father cuddled. They then throw the football around. They played with Spike’s father’s lighty sword.

Spike’s father then telled Spike he had something to tell him something. Spike listened. Spike’s father open his mask.

It was Pinkie!

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”

“See Spiky, I tricked you. By eliminating these other shows and fandoms you made our show more popular, making I more popular.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”

“Fourth Wall dude. Learn to use it.”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”

Pinkie sighed. She picked up a light stick and stabbed Spike to death. No one would miss him she decided.

Then Pinkie road  Grumpy cat to a land of candy and ate all the citizens and a princess of bubblegum.

The End (Finally!)

“Oh, My Hooves!” said Rarity as she sat up in bed.

She just woke up. She had a terrible dream. It was terrible. Pinkie and Spike and the humans… yeah humans. Those terrible things. Wear did they come from?

She turned to run and tell everpony her dream when she saw herself in the mirror. She began to brush her main, and took some selfies. She ran and made some coffee. The dream could wait for those dress patterns that where just begging to be made.

Last night’s events slipped quietly away. Forgotten. The mystery of the universe and what lay in it. So close, but lost none the less. Never to be repeated with the only question left. Was it just a dream?

Just a dream.

Bacon.

Squish

Spike was suddenly in an alternate universe!

“Yay!” he says.

He then looked around for a few minutes. He got a drink. He looked around again. He suddenly saw something odd.

This squishy, pink thing on two legs with glasses came up to Spike.

“Hagrid, what is Norbert doing here! I thought you got rid of him!” said the squishy thing with only hair on his head and a lightning shaped scar.

He asked him what drugs the squishy thing had been taking. The squishy thing yelped and pulled out a stick. The squishy thing then blasted stuff out of it. He jumped out of the way. He then sprinted towards the woods. The squishy thing didn’t follow.

He then decided to consult the internet at the library, in the castle, that he didn’t notice earlier.

It turns out that the squishy things were called humans. These humans were repulsive and Spike felt it was his duty to destroy all of them. It was the only logical thing to do.

Logic.

Good thing he remembered his shot gun before leaving Ponyville!

He stalked the human for hours. He was alarmed to learned there were many of these humans and decided to drop back into Equestria and get Twilight to help. She said yes. Yoyo, Carrot, Rigby, Annie, Gerumble, Tootsie Green, and Kickie all came to help too. Rainbow was too busy with Apple Jack. You know doing stuff. STUFF. Fluttershy was cleaned up Pinkie bits. A lunar rebellion was going on and ain’t nobody got time for that.

They all then killed the humans and bathed in their blood. Tootsie Green was the best at strangling babies. It was beautiful.

“Why don’t we not do this more often,” said Kickie.

In a unanimous vote they decided to go to all universes and kill all humans everywhere.