Chapter 1: Somethings Never Change
Broadhoof Files: Grey Sunrise
Chapter 1:
Something’s Never Change
The morning started as any other at Broadhoof Memorial Psychiatric Hospital outside Ponyville. Celestia’s sun began to slowly break over the horizon and peer through the slit windows of the patient rooms of the Intensive Care Ward, as Nurse Ratchet insisted it be called in front of the patients.
It never made sense to me calling it that, I know it’s high security, sense my door only opens from the outside.
A crackling voice came over the intercom speaker in my rooms ceiling, the voice of a nurse I semi-trusted; Nurse Ratchet. Calmly and motherly as she was not know to be.
“Grey, It’s time to get up, Oh! You already are”.
The lock tumbler began to clank and move then the doors gears squeaked as the door opened as her orderly Silas held the door for Nurse Ratchet to enter. She then pulled the chair from under the desk so that she could sit in front of me at eye level.
What did I do to deserve an early morning visit form the head nurse, I haven’t even had breakfast. What does she have planed?
“Here is your medicine and water” Offered Nurse Ratchet.
“Thank You” I say wiping my eyes free of sleep.
“Grey, Did you forget about your appointment this morning with Drs. Rose and Applejack this Morning?” questioned Nurse Ratchet.
“I had forgotten it was with the both of them” trying to save myself from the foalish embarrassment that was trying to flush my cheeks.
“That’s what I’m here for sweetie.” Nurse Ratchet came back cloyingly. Brushing my mane with her fore hoof.
By the tone in her voice I knew a needle was in my immediate future. I’ve been under her care too long not to know all of Nurse Ratchets subtle mannerisms.
“Alright Grey, you know the drill, Dr Rose wants to perform an EEG scan to see how your medicine is reacting and to see if your horn is still affecting the severe headaches and hallucinations, We also want to make sure you are still doing good on Dr Rose’s treatment plan.” She continued as her hoof still stroked my russet mane.
All I can do is sigh, if I refuse and fight; Silas holds me down and they do it anyway and I end up bruised and Nurse Ratchet angry with me, not ideal. On the other hoof I cooperate; I get to eat once Rose is finished and all I come out with is a sore rump, a really sore rump. I choose the sore rump. Go on Ratchet do your worst! Thinking of all the physicals she has given me over the years in this place, near laughable, good thing I showered last night.
“Grey, Please lay on your back and give me right fore hoof, Silas can I please have the BP monitor” Nurse Ratchet request of Silas
“Yes, Nurse” Silas replies rolling it to her across the smooth tiled floor.
“Grey, Your Pulse is 100 you need to relax, its just me and Silas, we’ve done this a hundred times before, now I’m going to check your blood pressure.”
The machine begins whirring and Nurse Ratchet pens down the results of my pulse and as the machine comes to a final stop she writes a number down in like fashion. She then removes the cuff and has Silas move the machine back to the hallway where an orderly is waiting for it, switching it for a wheelchair.
A tear began to well up in the corner of my eye. The last time a wheelchair was used I was fully sedated and in a diaper for trying to take on Silas one on one after attacking Nurse Ratchet during a physical for twisting my already sprained and wrapped ankle after a fall down a flight of stairs a few years ago. Not a situation I ever wanted to be in again.
“Nurse?”
“Yes, Grey”
“What’s the wheelchair for?”
“Well, It’s for you; Dr. Applejack wanted me to give you a bit more of a sedative this time than last time due to the panic attack over being restrained for the test.” “Oh, I see” I muster from behind tears that are just beginning to flow from both eyes.
“It won’t be long and we’ll be on our way to see the doctors”
“OooK Nurse Ratchet”
“Be the brave colt I know you are and let me finish without anymore tears, Grey”
Nurse Ratchet then proceeds to take her stethoscope and check my heartbeat and breathing even through the sniffling of me trying to stop crying. She then proceeded with the rest of the full body exam including checking my limiter.
“Now Gray, I know you’re a big pony but the medicine I have to give you will make very relaxed so Doctor Rose can perform his exam so I need to apply this diaper to you just in case, not that anything will happen.”
“Please No, No I don’t want a diaper I’m not a foal Nurse Ratchet”
“I will ask you again” Her tone changing abruptly
“Do you want me or Silas putting a diaper on you?”
As I lay there already feeling violated by her exam going in my sheath, knowing it being for my own good, another tear starting to come to my eye
“I’ll take that as my answer” the Nurse regained her calm demeanor. Her magical aura surrounded my rear hooves and they lifted into the air, tears uncontrollably streaming down my muzzle. Nurse Ratchet quietly singing quietly to me as she knew the process upset me, as she finished she laid me back down and covered my now diapered front with my gown.
“Please turn to your side Gray”
“Which one?” I asked sniffing through my weak tears.
“Your Left, sweetie” Nurse Ratchet ordered softly but firmly.
“Dr. Applejack ordered Diazepam as your sedative, it’s the same you’ve had before” Informed the Nurse.
That’s what I’m worried about.
“Now your going to fell a big pinch” As she plunged the small needle into my flank just above my cutie mark.
“Oww! Sweet Aunt Celestia! Bucking! Horse Apples!” Silas quickly positing a hoof on my side near my flank in the event I decide to turn over on Nurse Ratchet. She then applies one of her trademark foalish bandages she loved to use.
“That’s the big pony I know, Gray, good job; Silas please help Gray into his wheelchair we need to get a hoof on”
I turn my self on my bed and reach for Silas’ outstretched hoof using it to turn myself into my wheelchair. I’m starting to feel slightly groggy but still coherent enough to tell that Nurse Ratchet was telling me not to touch anything and let Silas drive.
“Gray?” Nurse Ratchet asked trying to get my mind off the inevitable exam ahead in her most motherly tone as I was pushed down the hallway toward the elevator.
“Yes?” I replied to her as nicely as I could not wanting to talk.
“Have you received a letter from your Auntie lately?” She asked knowing full well I had, being the one who pre read it and all.
“Yes, She said I hoped I was doing well and would come see me the next time she was able. Not that, that is very often, I miss her so much.” I nearly started crying all over again.
The only family I really ever had was my Aunt Celestia she had me raised in the palace, until just after my ninth birthday when the voices started and her personal physician began monitoring my health more closely. Two years later he suggested to my aunt that it would be in my best interest to have a keratotomy. That is when I was committed here by her royal decree, at the time I thought she was abandoning me but I had no idea that she was saving my life. She told me that Dr. Rose would take good care of me and his treatment would allow me to keep my horn and one day maybe even come home to her. That was six years ago.
“Gray…Gray….We’re here” Nurse Ratchet said.
“You fell asleep on the way here sweetie, I didn’t want to wake you until we got here” She softly whispered in my ear.
“Well good morning sugar cube” a voice came from behind me.
“Dr. AJ?” I said excitedly. Her being my favorite physician. She moved around to my side to help me up from my wheelchair and into a nice comfy chair in the exam room in the middle of which sat a low padded table with straps hanging off of the edge. I knew what to expect but it didn’t make me any less wary of it.
“When your ready I’ll help you on to the table so we can begin, Dr. Rose will be here soon so don’t take too long, ok” reminded Doctor Applejack in her kind caring tone
“Alright, I’m ready” I replied to her.
“Here take my hoof and lets get you laid down so we can start, now take a deep breath, I’m going to hold your hoof while Silas straps you down” Dr. AJ calmly says as she strokes my mane. The table then begins to rise as Silas activates the hoof pedals on the floor. I’m then at eye level with Applejack and Silas’ chin. I hear the door behind me open and a familiar voice call to me.
“Good Morning Gray” Dr. Rose states.
“Morning Dr. Rose” I say from my restrained position on the exam table. Nurse Ratchet comes over and begins explaining the procedure that I know inside and out.
One. Lay Back. Like I have a choice.
Two. Relax. Check.
Three. Answer Dr. Roses Questions. Check.
Four. Stay Calm. So Far, So Good.
“Gray, I’m going to attach the electrodes to your scalp and then Dr. Rose will take over while I operate the EEG readouts ok sweetie.” Nurse Ratchet informs me.
“Ok” I whimper. The gel she uses is warm comfortable in the cool room. She then applies the strap across my fore head just under the base of the limiter. I am now about to fall asleep from immobility. Dr. Rose approaches from behind and touches the top of the limiter with a firm hoof and attaches an electrode to it. A heavy feeling on the end of my horn now exist, not uncomfortable, just peculiar.
“Ok Gray, I’m going to start the test now” He says as a the machines on my sides start whirring and making a scratching on the paper readouts as the needle-point pen flicks back and forth.
“I’m going to ask you a few baseline questions so I can measure how the current flows through your horn, mimicking arcane magic the that is the unpredictable part of your treatment and is the hardest part to control.”
“Ok” I retort calmly and deliberately.
“Lets Begin, Gray how old are you?” Rose Ask.
“Seventeen”
“Good” Doctor Rose Replies.
“Where where were you born?” Ask Rose as he continues his exam with his magic within Gray’s head.
“Canterlot”
“Who raised you in your foalhood?” He solicited me.
“My aunt’s private staff” I answered evenly as I could. Thinking about the letter from the earlier caused a tear to well in my eye. As Doctor Applejack began stroking my hoof and shaking her head at Doctor Rose.
“Very Good” Rose replies dryly, signaling the abrupt end of his questions.
The dull pressure deep within my brain was irksome but not unbearable. Doctor AJ was there the entire time cooing at me trying to keep me from panicking like the last time. I may be seventeen but every day this place makes me feel more and more like a helpless foal. The time was passing slowly as if the clock on the wall that I could see’s hands were moving in reverse. The dull pressure in my head wasn’t helping the situation.
As I lay on the table I hear Doctor Rose sigh as he removed the electrodes carefully and say to Doctor Applejack “We’re done”.
“All done sugarcube, lets get you cleaned up and off this table.” Applejack calmly said to me.
Nurse Ratchet came over to the table and assisted Doctor Applejack in undoing the straps from around my forehead, barrel, midsection and hooves. She then removed the diaper, while Applejack allowed me the use of her hoof to embrace with to take my mind of the situation at the other end of the table. Before I knew the Doctor Applejack was having me sit up on my still sore rump from the earlier shot. Both of them looking at me like a mother at their foal, I then realized what warranted their motherly views. Nurse Ratchet used foal wipes and powder on me leaving behind a scent of a freshly changed foal. My face grew bright red and Doctor Applejack laid a reassuring hoof upon my shoulder and said.
“There is nothing to be ashamed of you are among your extended family, we love you like a little brother, isn’t that right Nurse Ratchet?” She shook her head in agreement. Then added.
“You don’t want a rash now do you sweetie?”
Nurse Ratchet then lowered the table.
“Do you want the wheelchair?” Nurse Ratchet asked semi-concerned.
“No, I feel alright to walk; I’m just hungry” I replied in a groggy tone.
“I’m sure it’s nearly 11:00am almost time for lunch” Ratchet comes back as if to surprise a young colt.
“Doctor Applejack will you look after Gray until your group session with him after lunch period” Asked Doctor Rose
“Of course I will Doctor Rose, anything for one of my most well behaved patients” The kind orange doctor replied.
“Very well Doctor, I will get the results to you once I have reviewed them and you can pass them on to Gray; Gray have a nice day.” Doctor Rose says walking out the door saddle bags full of records, headed toward his office.
“Nurse Ratchet I’m taking Gray to get something to eat” Doctor AJ informs the head nurse.
I shake my head not saying anything, just nuzzling her shoulder happy to be in the comfort of her care, and finally be able to get some food as bad as the food is here. As we calmly walk up the hall from the examination rooms toward the cafeteria not much is said as I am content to just bask in the glow of a trusted physician who has done everything in her power to care for me sense I was assigned to her two years ago when she first was taken on at Broadhoof. We both enter the cafeteria doors and she motions to me to take a seat at one of the benches as lunch doesn’t start for another forty minuets now. Doctor AJ walks up to the lunch-ponies and I can hear them grumbling at her request of an early meal for the two of us as the schedule around here is very strict. On the way to the cafeteria I do remember her saying she had missed breakfast too and was quite hungry and would get us both fed in time. Before I knew it she was on the way back to our table with our salad lunch.
“Eat up sugarcube” Doctor Applejack was beginning to say as I was already hoofing a muzzle full of salad.
“You really were hungry Gray.” AJ pointed out. Lunch between the two of us was uneventful for a change, normally Doctor AJ was too busy with her other patients to pay any mind to a quiet pony who normally sat in the corner by my lonesome, this was a nice change of pace.
“Gray, Are you going to participate in group today?” She ask almost rhetorically.
“Maybe, is Twily going coming today?” I question between bites.
“Yes, Twilight is going to be there.” she comes back with a very worried look on her face.
“What’s that look for? Did a say something wrong?” putting my fork down.
“Oh, no you didn’t say a thing wrong sugarcube, Twilight just….just….won’t remember you.”
“What? I just saw her last week she was acting like always, imaginary dragon in tow thinking she was my auntie’s personal student.” we had our plan on how to handle her sense I actual was the charge of Princess Celestia. Figuratively speaking I could count on one hoof who knew in Broadhoof who I actually was and I liked it that way. I left it to staff to keep my life private from the other patients to them I’m just another crazy pony from Canterlot.
“Well that’s the thing, that was last week, she has had more treatment and it has caused some memory loss.” Doctor Applejack informed me
“That’s unfortunate, I liked her, she was nothing but kind to me” I returned her thought.
“That’s good to hear she will need that as she recovers, this round seems to have been very difficult on her. Also when you see her please don’t bring up the imaginary dragon or your aunt it will upset her and we want to keep her in the group right gray?” she gave as instructionally as she could still trying to sound as if she were trying to be sisterly.
“Yes Applejack, I understand don’t bring up her delusion and don’t talk about my aunt. Fair enough, just don’t make me talk about my aunt either, I just got a letter and it hurts still.” I reiterate that I understand what she has asked of me.
As we both finished our meals Doctor Applejack spoke up to say something to me.
“Gray, we have about fifteen minuets before lunch and forty five minuets before group how about we go up to your room and have a little impromptu one on one session?” whispered Doctor Applejack not wanting to embarrass her charge.
“About what AJ?” I questioned as my faced began to redden as I caught on what she was talking about. I simply shook my head yes.
“Good, I didn’t think you wanted to bring it up in group” AJ continued.
As we both finished our salad and milk we headed for the tray return with our trays firmly gripped in our mouths, we deposit our tray in the return slot and start our walk toward the stairwell to the high-security wing in the once again empty corridors passing by my classroom where Ms. Lulamoon was using her magic to teach as she always did, so glad I got to skip morning classes. Just because I’m in the hospital doesn’t mean I need special education, I had a private tutor for a long time but they said budget cuts said we all had to go to class together again. At least Ms. Cheerilee has me come assist her class as part of my therapy sometimes. Working with the little ponies always made me happy. I do miss being taught by her though she was my teacher when I first came to Broadhoof when I was eleven years old, even though I was only with her for three years she was easily my favorite teacher I’ve ever had.
“Applejack is today an art day? My mind is kinda fuzzy still.” I ask.
“Yup, might just be the meds I ordered for you, but Nurse Ratchet did say you forgot about your appointment this morning. What was that all about you never forget stuff like that” the doctor ask concerned for my wellbeing.
“I don’t know, maybe just a fluke” I reply nervously as to what her reaction might be.
“Ok sugarcube, I’ll note it.” AJ writes it down in her small notepad she keeps in her lab coat she wears.
“As to your question about art class today, yes today is art class, Mrs. Toola Roola is here today, I think today is clay.” Doctor Applejack replies.
I let out a sigh of relief. Art is my escape from this place, even if it is just an hour, its one less hour in this green and white melodramatic house of horrors. Ok my descriptions can go over the top some times but living here can be boring and living on a tight schedule a break like this is a welcome relief. Before I realize it we are in my room and I’m sitting on my bed and holding the letter from my auntie about to pass it to Doctor Applejack so that she can read it and we can talk about it and the other things that are troubling me that I would never bring up in group.
“Wow a two page letter from the Princess, If you don’t mind me asking who are your biological parents.” Ask Doctor Applejack.
“Well I’m surprised Rose didn’t tell you”
“Tell me, no, There’s a gag order of sorts on your file. He couldn’t your aunt requested that no one know and that’s a royal decree, no way around that.”
“Oh, Well, You may already know my mother the most famous resident of Broadhoof Memorial,” the orange pony’s jaw hit the floor at what she was about to be told “the reason my Aunt chose to send me here as apposed to having me receive a keratotomy, my mother is former Princess Luna, and my father is the one who raped her and likely caused her to begin having the multiple personality episodes. So in combination with the schizoaffective disorder she already had she was involuntary committed. At the time she was with foal”
As tears began to stream, the sound of orderlies outsides being called off by Doctor Applejack so I could talk.
“Ten months later I was here a healthy foal taken directly back to Canterlot Castle. So in seventeen years I’ve come full circle, born here and will die he..” abruptly interrupted by Doctor Applejack.
“You will not die here; and you will not lose you horn…or so help me, Gray I take you on as my personal charge from here on.” She says trying to comfort a truly inconsolably sobbing pony, allowing him to soak her white lab coat in tears, he slowly cries himself to sleep on her shoulder as Doctor Applejack post and orderly to watch over the now sleeping Gray Sunrise; as she lays him down sweetly whispering to him I will be right her touching his barrel above his heart.
“Silver Spirit please let me know if wakes up I want him to be able to continue with his day as normally as possible” Doctor Applejack says dryly to the orderly she has stationed at his locked door.
