Chapters “This is so unfair!” Scootaloo whined. “Why does Sweetie Belle get to go off and have fun while we have to go to a lecture?”
“You know why,” Cheerilee said. “Now, Spike, keep her out of trouble, out of a vault filled with magical weapons, away from crusading, and anything else that might cause thousands of bits’ worth of damages.” She held the dragon firmly by his shoulders, staring into his soul. “Promise me you can do this.”
“Ms. Cheerilee, I promise I will keep Sweetie Belle out of trouble,” Spike said as Cheerilee let him go.
“Good, now you two have fun while I take these four to the School for Gifted Unicorns for the education part of this trip… The part that wasn’t supposed to happen,” She said smiling while her eyes screamed in desperation. “Snips, Snails, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, let’s go.”
As the five unfortunate souls left to learn, Sweetie Belle found herself standing next to Spike. “So, Sweetie Belle… have you had breakfast yet?”
She didn’t know what to do. Everything on the table looked tantalizing and at the same time very fattening. At her right sat Spike, who thankfully was giving her hints on what to pick. She grabbed a warm, steaming cinnamon bun, while Spike stacked a mountain of chocolate chip pancakes on his plate, probably intending to give himself juvenile diabetes. They spent most of their breakfast, playfully stealing food from one another. Almost as if to show off, Spike loaded a few more pancakes on a plate and lightly slammed on the side. The food launched into the sky and fell into his mouth as they descended.
“Showoff,” Sweetie Belle chuckled.
“Says the filly that did the same thing during a certain social,” Spike said as he tossed another pancake in his mouth. Sweetie could only pray that everypony else was having as much fun as her.
Snips and Snails looked at the razor in their aura, wondering if they should end their misery. The more they thought about it, the more they wondered whether it was right to kill themselves. In fact, they were just listening to a lecture, a simple lesson about history. Maybe if they truly listened, maybe if they learned something, it wouldn’t seem so bad. In fact, if they weighed their options as they listened, they would see that ….
“And it was in 1303 that Star Swirl the Bearded completed his first book instructing unicorns to not think of magic as a force powered by imagination, but a force powered by will and concentration. In fact it was Star Swirl the Bearded that disproved Old Beard the Grey's philosophy about imagination being a powerful asset to magic.”
...Suicide was the only logical option for them. Before they could slit any part of their bodies, Cheerilee took the weapon, giving them a glare. “Now, if everypony would turn to page 602, we have five more hours of lecture and then a tour of the Star Swirl Museum on Friday,” the professor said. All the foals let out a loud groan as they smashed their heads against the desks. “I feel the same way,” The professor chuckled, “But we must get through the lecture before we go to the museum.”
“What do you mean foals are forbidden from entering until next week!?” Diamond Tiara shouted at the guard.
“Exactly what I meant,” the guard said, “after an incident with two fillies, no more uninvited foals in the castle.”
Silver Spoon sputtered before she could speak correctly. “But we saw a filly enter an hour ago, why is she exempt!?”
“Oh, you mean Miss Belle? Well of course she was allowed in; she was Spike’s guest.”
“But Princess Twilight Sparkle isn’t even here!” Diamond protested.
“So? Look, the drake’s ability to bring guests comes from Celestia herself. So unless you two brats have a retort for that, kindly leave before I make you leave,” The guard sneered. It was time to take a page out of The CMC’s book and take a stand. Diamond Tiara took a deep breath before jumping at the guard.
After breakfast, Spike led Sweetie Belle through the castle. He said that he was going to give her an insider’s tour, showing her everything that most ponies would pay dozens of bits to catch a glimpse of. He opened a large door that was just past a group of patrolling guards that seemed to be ready to kill an intruder on sight. “So where does this lead?” Sweetie asked.
“The one place I’m actually banned from getting to close to. Sweetie Belle let me introduce you to the crowned jewels.” In the center of the room was a crown surrounded by beautifully cut gems that glowed with a miraculous light. “Funny story, I got in here when I was three, stole these things, and caused a riot. Since nopony could find me, everypony thought I was foalnappped by the thieves that stole the gems. But then Princess Cadence found me in my room, sucking on a giant ruby with the rest of the jewels scattered around the floor. In the end, they put the gems back and shockingly, Celestia didn’t even tell Twilight's mom to ground me. She was just glad I was all right... Although she did say not to scare her like that again….” Spike shrugged as he took Sweetie’s hoof and led her out of the room. “Next stop, the castle garden!”
Meanwhile, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo sat in purgatory; next to two bratty fillies that thought they were inherently better than the two blank flanks. No, they were not Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon. They were merely two upper class unicorn fillies that the CMC were forced to spend time with. “Apple Bloom… Kill me,” Scootaloo commanded. “Right now, kill me. I would rather rot in Tartarus then spend a single second more with these prissy little brats or listening to some old guy talk about an over rated, bearded, male Twilight Sparkle.”
Over the past hour, Scootaloo had come to a shocking realization; Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were not that bad. Granted, they were mean, but the two fillies beside Scootaloo made them look like saints. “I cannot believe we have to spend time with these uncouth hicks,” one of fillies whispered to her friend while still being loud enough for the entire room to hear.
“We’re right here,” Apple Bloom said.
“I know, right?” The second unicorn gasped loudly, not hearing the earth pony beside her. “I might just keel over from the lack of class and cutie marks.”
“What foals use ‘keel’ and ‘uncouth’?” Apple Bloom asked herself. It was as if Rarity was teaching these fillies how to be completely unlikeable. Whatever Sweetie Belle was doing with Spike had to be better than this.... Why wouldn’t Miss Cheerilee let small mistakes go?
Sweetie Belle bit into the fresh golden treat Spike had picked. He had brought her to a private section of the garden that only castle staff and the princesses were allowed to visit. In the center was an average looking apple tree that sprouted gold colored apples. The apple was actually really sweet, the flavor of the juice hitting her the moment she bit into it. The only down side was that he could only pick one for each of them. “This is delicious!” Sweetie Belle said as she finished off the golden treat.
“Of course it was, why else would I bring you here?” Spike chuckled as he finished off his own apple. That was about it for the castle tour. All that was left would have been the hedge maze and the section of the garden with the statues. There was the animal garden... but maybe he would hold off on that for now. He had three more days with Sweetie Belle, he needed something he could do with her. He thought of places in the city he could take her, but the only place that came to mind was his favorite doughnut shop. There was also the matter of the dance. Did he have to go to that? Was that day one he had to spend with Sweetie Belle? Would this entire vacation come back to bite him when he asked out Rarity in eight years? Spike was suddenly ripped from his train of thought when he felt a pair of hooves shake him.
“Spike, are you okay?” Sweetie asked. He looked around to see that they had not only left the garden, but now stood outside his room.
Sweetie shrugged, “You took my hoof and brought me to the suites with a far off look in your eye, I tried to talk to you but I don’t think you heard me.”
“Oh… I was just thinking… um... about the schedule Cheerilee gave me. It said something about a dance Friday… what’s up with that?”
“Oh, that?” Sweetie Belle chuckled, “that’s just something Ms. Cheerilee planned for us to end our trip. Nothing more than a chance to dance with our friends.”
“But I’m guessing Rarity saw that there'd be a dance and pulled you into her fitting room?”
“Yup! She dropped everything she was doing and made me the most amazing dress ever! She even managed to get Fluttershy to help with it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she said that it would make any colt ‘swoon’ over me… whatever that means.” Spike and Sweetie Belle sat in Spike’s suite for most of the afternoon, each retelling stories of personal misadventures. Although it was not a day in the city, Sweetie Belle still enjoyed spending time with Spike. Maybe she could take a page from her sister’s book and take Spike someplace tomorrow to thank him for the last two days. Her sister did give her enough bits for food plus a few souvenirs, bits that have since been untouched. Maybe she would even give him a sneak peek of her new dress. Since it was a work by Rarity, he was bound to love it. Her plan was set, take Spike to a café and then show off her dress.
“I am losing it!” Scootaloo cried. “I am going to go mental if I do not get out of this school. Gifted unicorns my flank! I bet most of them think what Princess Celestia does is impressive, but she’s not Rainbow Dash is she?”
“Scoots, we just got to be patient… If Ms. Cheerilee hasn’t noticed we’ve been in the bathroom for the past hour, ah doubt she’s going to.” The two fillies had been sitting in the bathroom waiting until the bell rang to let school out. The school was for gifted unicorns , why should a Pegasus and an Earth Pony care about Star Swirl the Bearded and the difference between a spell and a hex?
“Girls~” They heard from outside the bathroom, “I know you’re in there~” They froze careful not to respond to the singsong voice. After no answer, the voice became more annoyed and firm. “Look, I caught Snips and Snails hiding in the lunchroom and they ratted you two out in less than five second… five less seconds than it takes a non-Wonderbolt with a rainbow mane to clear the skies… I wonder who’s faster.”
Scootaloo nearly lost it, but Apple Bloom held her back. “Ah knew we shouldn’t ‘ave told them our plan,” Apple Bloom whispered.
"They were as desperate as we were; I had to tell them our plan!" Scootaloo said through her friend's hoof.
“Now, Snips and Snails can’t go in there, which means I can’t go in there since they would run the second I let them go…. However, I have no problem waiting you two out. You’ll have to….”
“Jokes on you!” Scootaloo interrupted, freeing her mouth from Apple Bloom’s hoof, “We’re in a bathroom! If we need to, we can just go in here!” With a triumphant grin, she was about to fist pump, until she heard a soft chuckle.
“I was about to say eat... you must have brought food with you when you went into the bathroom… right?” A thick silence fell over the room. It was about 1:15 by their estimates. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo’s stomachs began to growl as they heard a bag open from outside. “Well I’ll just be enjoying a nice, big bag of Nacho Chips… Snips, no you are not having any; I am still angry that you and Snails tried to skip class…. I thought you ratting them out was to get you out of trouble…. Really? You want this to be your reward…? You too Snails? You both understand that you will be in serious trouble once we get back to the hotel, right…? You don’t care, okay….” Cheerilee let out a defeated sigh. “Change of plans girls, the three of us will just enjoy this nice, big bag of Nacho Chips, while you two wait in there for... two more hours.”
“… We can out last her,” Scootaloo chuckled. There was a loud rumble as Scootaloo rubbed her belly.
“Ah think we might need to give up”
“No! Law two of Scootaloo: What would Rainbow Dash do? Answer, she would wait the storm out!”
“Oh look, there’s a prize!” Cheerilee exclaimed, “And it’s a figurine of Rainbow Dash…! No Snips, just no…. Because it’s bait…. JUST EAT THE CHIPS!”
“I do-don't care… I-I… I have like five figurines back home….” Scootaloo said to Apple Bloom, her legs and wings twitching. She could outlast her teacher… She didn’t need an awesome… limited edition… figurine of… Rainbow Dash…. Scootaloo seemed to blink twice only to come face to face with Cheerilee. There was no figurine to be seen and she had dragged Apple Bloom out of the bathroom with her. “There was never a figure, was there?” Cheerilee shook her head.
As Sweetie Belle’s drop off time neared, Spike escorted her to the hotel. While she responded to most of his jokes and questions, Sweetie Belle’s mind was on other matters. ‘Where should I take Spike…?’ Her sister had suggested many quaint cafes, but she wanted to show him how much she appreciated the past two days. Her sister said that generosity needed to be thanked with generosity, but where would he like to go? Better question, why was Ms. Cheerilee dragging four foals by their tails?
“All of you, to your rooms now!” Cheerilee demanded as she released the foals. “I don’t care if you haven’t eaten; I will bring you dinner later tonight.” The foals murmured insults and complaints as they entered the lobby. Cheerilee let out a loud groan and rubbed her aching forehead. She was not paid enough for this. She let out a distressed cry when she saw Diamond Tiara led into the building in chains while wearing a mask that only covered her mouth, followed by Silver Spoon. “What’s going on?”
A guard stopped her and asked a single question, “Are you Ms. Cheerilee?”
She nodded.
“Good,” The guard handed her a round handle that connected to Diamond’s chains. “That girl went feral on a guard today. Poor soul had to quit because he freaked out when he saw Celestia’s and Luna’s crowns. Said ‘beware the tiara’…. Just a question, what training regimen do you keep your fillies to, and are any of them thinking about becoming guards?”
“I-I’m sorry?”
“Well, yesterday a single filly with no fighting experience hospitalized three of my best recruits and Skull Crusher now fears the color orange. Now, today an untrained, girly filly mentally broke a fully trained guard who now fears crowns and the color pink. So come on, what’s the secret?” He said, leaning in too close to the teacher.
“Leave, now,” Cheerilee growled.
“Fine, here’s the hospital bill.” War Trotter dropped the piece of paper and trotted off.
“Silver Spoon, come here.” Silver Spoon took a spot next to her still chained friend. “I am disappointed, very disappointed. Honestly!” Cheerilee shouted at the fillies. “I expected Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Snips and Snails to mess up, but you two?! I was expecting you to be mean, but I also expected you to stay out of trouble!” She let out a frustrated sigh and demanded that both fillies go to their room. “And expect to take notes tomorrow!” she shouted. "Now where is Sweetie Belle... Oh thank Celestia!" To see that Spike and Sweetie Belle looked normal sent surges of relief through her body. Cheerilee happily trotted over to her student and the dragon. “Thank you for still being in one piece. Now Spike, did anything happen?”
“No, we just hung out at the castle.” He answered.
“And that is the one thing that keeps me from hitting the bottle,” She sighed. “Look, I need you to keep doing what you’ve been doing because if this keeps up, I'm going to be watching my entire class on what was supposed to be a vacation… Now if you’d excuse me; I need to yell at a few more students…. WHAT ARE YOU FOUR DOING!?” She ran towards a few foals messing with a food cart.
“Wow, is everyone messing up?” Sweetie asked.
“Mane Six’s Law,” Spike responded.
“What?”
“Anything that can go wrong, will,” Spike explained. “Remember all that stuff that happens back home? That’s the Mane Six’s Law.”
“So what, it applies here too?”
“Yup, how else would you explain the gala incident? So any ideas for what you want to do tomorrow?” Spike asked.
“Nope, I say we just wing and go to someplace nice for breakfast… Maybe a c....” Sweetie Belle realized that her friends were dragging away from Spike. “Wait, No I-I needed to ask him...." She tried to plead with her fellow crusaders but they ignored her. "I’ll see you tomorrow, Spike!” She called as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo dragged her into the elevator. “You guys could have at least let me say goodbye properly.” She huffed as the doors closed.
“Never mind that, tell us you at least went crusading,” Scootaloo begged. After the day she had, Scootaloo could only pray Sweetie Belle got her cutie mark.
“I was going to… but then Spike and I had breakfast, he gave me a tour of the castle, and we talked about the upcoming dance.” Apple Bloom silenced Sweetie Belle by placing her hoof on her mouth.
“Sweetie Belle, we said ya carried our wills!” Apple Bloom groaned. The elevator door opened and the three got out.
“You did, but to be fair I never actually said that I would crusade." Her friends gave her an annoyed look. "Come on, it’s not like me not crusading was bad. Besides, knowing my luck I would probably cause uncontrollable collateral damage.” Sweetie said as the group got to the room. Sweetie used her magic to open the door.
“Great, so we are nowhere closer to our cutie marks” Scootaloo sighed, “What’s on the agenda then?”
"Escape the museum tomorrow," Apple Bloom said, as if she'd been waiting to suggest it.
As Apple Bloom and Scootaloo discussed some sort of escape plan that would probably backfire, Sweetie Belle went over to her suite case to get her pajamas and maybe try on Rarity’s new dress. She opened her suite case to find everything except her dress. “…Hmm, did either of you two move my dress?” Sweetie Belle called.
“No,” her friends answered in unison.
“Well then… That means I left my dress back home….”
As he walked back to the castle, Spike heard a loud, but familiar high-pitched scream coming from Sweetie’s hotel. "I’m sure she’s fine,” He told himself.
When Cheerilee heard the shout in the room across from hers, one thought entered her mind, “Damn these fillies, driving me to drink.” She picked up the phone and called the bar. “Hello this is Room 2351… Oh, you have Appletinis… Well here’s a thought, why not make it a hard Scotch…? Yes, I am aware of my occupation… I’m sorry, do you need to watch a group of kids for five days straight, have little to no love life back home, and are getting to that age where you’re supposed to have kids but no stallion will touch you…? No…? Okay… Yes… Thank you.” Cheerilee let out a groan. She should have just stuck with Big Mac and gotten married in the pit.
“How could I forget it!?” Sweetie Belle frantically tossed clothes from her Rarity stuffed suitcase, searching for her dress as if it would magically appear.
“Why do you care?” Scootaloo asked
“Rarity made that especially for me… I was going to wear it Friday but now… This week is ruined.” Sweetie Belle whined as she fell on her back.
“Your week is ruined... wow. Do you know what Apple Bloom and I are doing? We have a lecture to go to with Snips, Snails, Feather Weight, Truffle, Shady Daze, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon. We will then go to a museum of education while you get to go to some castle, eat breakfast with royalty, meet beefcake guards, and have heart to heart friendship moments with a dragon. I do not think your week is ruined. In fact….”
“Rumble, Button Mash what are you two drinking!?” They heard Ms. Cheerilee scream.
“Add those two to the list,” Apple Bloom sighed. “At this rate, we’re all going to be hearin that lecture.”
“Back to my point,” Scootaloo said, raising her voice. “Can’t Rarity just mail you the dress?”
“Except she can’t! When she dropped us off, she said she was going with her friends to Manehattan for four days!"
“Oh Right, Apple Jack told me about that. Ah’m still wondering what they’re up to,” Apple Bloom shrugged.
“Okay, so that’s a dead end, but for some reason you have it in with a guy with connections. Spike is Twilight’s son, right? Can’t he get you a dress at the castle?”
“Come on, I really doubt he can do that.” Sweetie said. She couldn’t believe it, how could she have forgotten her dress?
Spike did the most spectacular face plant in the history of ever. “So… I hear you and a certain filly had breakfast together… anything I should know about?” Celestia smirked. Spike let out a groan as Celestia continued, “Imagine if Rarity saw you. ‘Scandal,’ she would cry. Oh Spike, how did you become such a playboy?” His reaction of utter embarrassment was too funny not to continue. In addition, the shade of red in his face worked really well with his purple scales. “But what's worse is that I hear you gave Sweetie Belle a golden apple. You know, a legend around that tree is that you can only be pick the fruit while in the presence of your soul mate. Just wait until Rarity hears who you ate the apple with.”
“Okay, NO! I love Sweetie-Rarity, ARGH!” Spike cupped his hands over his face to hide himself. “I blame you for this verbal adultery,” Spike murmured through his hands. He lifted himself up from the floor and left, leaving a chuckling Celestia and Luna, who had been watching the entire time but felt too awkward to say anything.
"Sweet dreams," She called after the dragon, "of course Sweetie Belle will be in them so it's kind of redundant." She could hear Spike groan in frustration.
"Sister... we must ask, why do you insist on jesting with thy dragon?"
Celestia only chuckled. "Luna it's just a harmless joke, plus it's not like I do it exclusively to Spike, I mean there was Cadance, Shining Armor, this one colt a few years back named Photon Wing, and-"
"Twilight Sparkle, we are aware of her crush on the guard named Flash Sentry."
"Oh dear sister, I was going to say you," Celestia formed a devilish grin. "You see, Miss Belle is not here with family or the mane six... she's here on a class trip."
Luna's eyes went wide. "Wait... class trip? That means...."
"That means that an adorable little colt his on his way to see you.... What was his name again? Oh right, Pip!"
"Thou lies! Pip cannot be here! Please, for the love of Faust, tell me he's not here!" Luna cried, shaking her sister.
"Why does it matter?" Celestia asked, perplexed by her sister's reaction. "He thinks you're the best pony in the world, so what?"
"... Sister... tis a Rarity situation," Luna admitted.
Author's Note
Well that was a journey and a half! I hope everyone or at least most people enjoy the chapter.
“… A Rarity situation. Oh sweet Faust. Luna I didn’t know. Please, forgive me,” Celestia begged.
“Tis fine… Tis just… the boy is not as subtle as Spike is with his feelings towards Rarity. We can only blame ourselves though; we did enter his dreams repeatedly. We just wished to learn about the culture changes… but one night, we found something else waiting for us.”
It was two months ago when Luna first realized that Pipsqueak had developed a small crush on her. It was a night like any other. Pip had been helping Luna adjust to the time period, while Luna made sure that every dream he had was a pleasant one.
“Greetings, young Pipsqueak,” Luna said as she entered the young colt’s dream, “tis us, Princess Luna… what is this?” Luna saw Pip standing in front of a dinner table with a neatly combed mane. A violin orchestra serenaded the area. In his smiling mouth, Pip held a large bouquet of red roses.
‘Oh Faust, oh please no….’ Luna silently begged. She needed to think of something fast.
“Uh…” Luna suddenly gasped loudly. “Oh no, Pip we believe our sister is… um… a becoming a villain! One named… uh… Solar Flare! We must leave this dream post haste to stop her!” Luna vanished without leaving a trace, praying that Pip was naïve enough to believe her. Luckily, he was.
Pip dropped his flowers, thinking about how much of a hero Luna was to just rush off to fight her sister. Truly, she was the best princess in the history of ever. He let out a dreamy sigh and turned to the orchestra. “Well gents, time for plan B.” The surrounding area turned into a cave with piles of gold and treasure scattered around. In the center was a stone chest filled with 880 identical gold coins. With his pirate costume encompassing his body, Pipsqueak had been transformed into Captain Pipsqueak, the dreaded pirate of the equestrian sea. Pip quickly turned around and blocked an oncoming sword wielded by the dreaded Grey Hoof the Pirate. The moment the two stepped into the moonlight, they turned into skeletons for reason that only made sense to a young colt.
“We haven’t been in his dreams since,” Luna sighed.
“How do you know about the parts you weren’t there for?”
Luna merely shrugged, “Tis not important. Have thou seen what Pip looks like? If we must describe him, he’s like a puppy and a kitten cuddling in the same bed to stay warm. How art we supposed to crush his dreams!?”
“Easy, you avoid him. Look, all foals except the ones Spike brings are banned from entering until next week. Pip goes home Saturday, so unless he finds a way to bypass our security, you will just have to stay in the castle and avoid him like how we avoid Discord and his little spawn when they comes to visit.”
Luna wanted to poke at least a few holes in her sister’s logic, but she couldn’t. The Mane Six were nowhere near Canterlot, so there was no chance of Pipsqueak running into any of them causing somepony like Pinkie or Rainbow Dash to help him. As far as she knew, Spike had no real relations with any foals except the ones called the Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Huh, we guess thou art correct.”
Unbeknownst to the princesses, in the confines of hotel room 2411, a plan was being reviewed. “And that gents, is how I will get in the castle, find Luna, confess my feelings for her, and have a nice celebratory dinner!” Pip smiled triumphantly as he laid his plan in front of his friends.
“You are taking such a shot in the dark, it’s not even funny,” Rumble said, looking over the plans. “Wait… Dude, why is your plan co-signed by the three craziest fillies in our class? Did you get Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom to help you with this plan? Do you want this to backfire?”
“Ah, come off it. The ways I see it, them dames are just stuck with bad luck when they try to get their Cutie Marks, notin’ more.” Pip rolled up his plans and proceeded out the door. “Rumble, Button Mash, it’s been a pleasure servin’ with you,” Pip saluted the two colts and quickly ran out of the room.
Cheerilee stopped the colt before he was even a foot away from the door. “No. Whatever you’re trying to do the answer is no.” She had a group of eleven foals to look after; she was not rounding it out into an even twelve.
“But Ma’am, I was just goin’ to get food,” Pip lied. “I made a bet with my bunkmates and lost, so it’s my job to get the pizza for tonight… besides, last I checked I have yet to get in trouble so you can’t really hold me down for being good, can you?”
“Pip, if I even so much as hear a rumor about you doing something you shouldn’t, you will be with me and the rest of the class taking notes,” Cheerilee warned.
“Understood!” Pip said, saluting his teacher. Reluctantly, Cheerilee removed herself from her student's path. Running down the steps, Pip dashed out into the hotel courtyard and bumped into a filly.
“Oh, hey Pip!” Looking up, the colt saw a familiar face. The filly was named Dinky, little sister to the famous mail carrier named Ditzy Doo or Derpy as everypony else called her. Dinky was with her friend, Twist, who carried a large bag of ingredients one would use to make candy. She readily helped him up to his hooves and brushed off any dirt that lingered on the colt.
"Sorry about that, love, I was just on my way to get something done," Pip explained, getting ready to run again.
“Oh, don't worry, I'm fine, I'm good... I love you...." Dinky whispered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing! So, what’s up?” Dinky chuckled. 'Play it cool, he'll come to you at his own pace,' she told herself.
“Oh, me? I'm just gettin’ some Pizza,” he lied.
“Wow, so are we!” Dinky declared, not even a second after Pip finished his sentence. “Can you believe this? It’s like we’re tuned in on the same wave length.”
“Wait, pizza?” Twist asked, “But I thought we were going to make candy so I could ask-”
“Later Twist, be cool!” Dinky begged through a smile. “You know, since we’re all going to get Pizza, and this is a crazy idea, why don’t we all go together? You know Twist on one side of say a booth, you and me on the other side, you know nothing too serious, at all, just you and me… and Twist.”
“I… I don’t see why not….” Pip nodded. Damn it, this practically destroyed his entire plan! No, this was just a minor setback. Sure, Dinky and Twist were accompanying him, and maybe Dinky walked a little too close to him, borderline trying to hold his hoof, but this would not stop him, he just needed to think. And think he did. All the way to the nearest Pizza Parlor where he paid for three slices of pizza and sat down with his friends.
“So, Pip, any plans for Friday?” Dinky asked.
“I know I had them," Twist explained, "but then my friend dragged me away from my room where I keep my candy making supplies.”
Dinky only let out a sigh. “Twist, just take him to a bakery or a candy store, and I assure you, if Truffle does not pop the question then and there, he's probably not that into you."
"But what if someone like Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle or Diamond Tiara sweep him up before I get a chance to ask him!?" Twist argued.
"Twist, I'm pretty sure all three of those fillies have their eyes on somepony else,” Dinky explained. "But back to my question, Pip, what about your plans? Bringing anyone to the dance Friday?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.” He was just on a lying streak today. He had thought about it, dreamed about it, and Pinkie even wrote Friend-Fiction about it. It was all part of his plan. He would bring Luna to the dance Friday. They would dance all night, kiss and watch her gorgeous night on a picnic blanket in the castle garden.
“Really? No plans? You know, somewhere out there, I bet you anything that there’s a filly, maybe one that has a horn that would just love if you asked her out on a date. Maybe, she's in this very city.”
Twist made the executive decision to end the string of 'subtle' hints Dinky was giving Pip and decided to skip to her friend's end game. “… Let me ask, Dinky, what does this filly look like? Does this filly have a name?”
“Well, I’m glad you asked that, Twist!” Twist rolled her eyes as Dinky began to describe this ‘mystery’ filly Pipsqueak should ask out. “You see Pip, I'm sure that there is this really cute filly that has a horn, yellow eyes, who’s really talkative, not too talkative, but still pretty talkative. I think her name is-”
“Dinky, hey, Dinky!”
The voice made Dinky cringe. It couldn’t be him, could it? She prayed that it wasn’t him; she hoped to the Princesses it wasn’t him. Dinky slowly turned her head and squeaked, “Ti-Time Turner, W-what’s up?” She screamed inwardly, cursing the names of the names of any and all princesses.
Time Turner was her older sister's boyfriend. He was a good guy for the most part, but he had two major flaws. The first flaw was his nickname for her sister, Ditzy Doo. He constantly called her his little Derp, or Derpy. Thing was, everypony called her Derpy now. She has a name, sure it’s not that much of a step-up from Derpy, but they should still show her some respect!
But as bad as the nickname was, there was one flaw that Time Turner had that trumped all other flaws. That flaw was called Doctor Hooves. Doctor Hooves was some T.V. show from Trottingham that Time Turner was obsessed with, probably because he was a clock maker/time keeper/clock repairer. Dinky hated the show more than anything. She found the Doctor to be annoying, the writing and rules of time travel to be sporadic, and the companions… dear Celestia, she hated every single companion. ‘Oh, Doctor, Doctor, save me, Doctor!’ If you’re put in danger on a daily basis, stop hanging around the freaking Doctor! And would it kill anyone to permanently end the giant salt shaker robots? She saw an episode were there were giant guns that blew them up, why not constantly use the guns when the salt shaker robots are sighted?
“Nothing much," Time Turner smiled, "I’m just in town for the next three days. There’s somepony with a vintage 1839 Grandfather Clock, really rare, really gorgeous. Truly, truly something to behold… you know besides the upcoming 50th anniversary special of Doctor Hooves. Anyway, it’s on the fritz and hearing of my talents, he hired me to repair it. Fortunately there’s a friend of mine who’s letting me use his shed as a temporary workshop.”
Pip saw this as his chance to walk out on his friends, while still leaving them with somepony that would treat them like ladies, “Well, Dinky I see that’s you’re probably going to be busy for a while talking with your… Dad?”
“Sister’s boyfriend actually!” Time Turner corrected.
“Ah, well then, Dinky, Twist, I’ll get going and leave you two here in the capable hooves of Time Turner!”
Dinky lost all color in her face. “No, Pip, don’t leave me here with… him….” It was too late, Pip dashed out of the pizzeria and made his way to the castle. She turned to see Twist still eating her pizza with her hoof on Pip’s pizza box. She turned to Time Turner and gave him a hate filled glare. “I’m going to kill you… I was close to asking him out and you stopped me,” She murmured.
“So Time Turner, see any good shows lately?” Twist asked the stallion as she opened Pip's pizza box.
“Oh please no,” Dinky begged.
“Well there was a new mini-sode of Doctor Hooves; it showed the eighth Doctor regenerating into the War Doctor.”
“… I hate you, Time Turner. I hate you with every fiber in my being,” Dinky whispered to herself, as she levitated her pizza to her face and took a bite.
As Pip made his way to the castle, he looked up to the sky to see the moon shown with a miraculous glow that seemed to be blessing everything that its light touched. He was amazed by it; even Luna herself was wishing him luck on his quest for love. If Luna thought it was possible for him, then he knew that nothing could go wrong.
Luna went all out on the moon and the stars tonight merely to celebrate not encountering Pipsqueak. She was filled with joy for simply not having to smash the young colt’s hopes and dreams. She knew she just had to wait out until a filly he could actually date caught his eye, but until then she would continue to avoid him at all costs. Nothing could go wrong.
Two guards stood out in the front of the castle, the cool night air providing them some comfort after they stood in the hot summer sun all morning. They couldn't complain though, as bad as standing outside all day was, it couldn’t beat the view. There was always the occasional mare that would give them the slight roll of the hips or a teasing swish of a tail, it was about the few things that made being a guard worth while, otherwise it would be one of the worst jobs ever. “Is there any reason you can’t stay still, Battle Cry?”
"Dude, have you read the reports? Little girls are beating the ever-living crap out of us,” The stallion looked at his comrade with a look that made him seem pitiful. “Skull Crusher can’t even look at oranges without having a mental breakdown, and I hear Quick Jab had to quit because he has severe PTSD and he freaks out when he sees Celestia's crown! Look, I don’t know about you, but I have a feeling that I'm a dead horse!”
“Hello gents!”
The voice nearly caused Battle Cry jump out of his skin. Three feet away stood a colt whose coat seemed to be spattered with spots of light brown mud. He was shorter than the average colt, and spoke with a Trottingham accent.
“Careful, I think he can smell fear,” Sharp Blade said. “Look, kid, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no foals are allowed in the castle until next week.” The guard outstretched his wing to block Pip’s way. “So please, get lost.”
“That’s okay, I’m just here to meet Princess Luna,” Pip said with a naïve joy in his voice. They had to give credit when credit was do; he had a burning determination in his eyes, one they could identify with when they were his age. It almost wanted them to let him in… almost.
“That’s nice kid, now run along.” Sharp Blade began to push Pip down the stone pavement.
“Wait, come on, I be real quick, cross my heart!” Pip pleaded.
Seeing that the colt seemed to pose no legitimate threat, Battle Cry grew a backbone. “Look, we have orders from the Princesses, just go back home kid; your parents must be worried sick.”
Pip opened his mouth to argue but he was quickly silenced. His plan had failed. It was such a foolproof one too. Step 1 was easy, leave the hotel. Sure, there was a small bump in the road, but Time Turner bailed him out. Step 2 was to enter the castle through the front gates, unhindered. He never expected the guards not to let him in. How could his carefully crafted plan that he made in less than five minutes with the CMC have so many holes!? Pip sadly turned around and walked away, until he was out of sight.
Not five minutes later did the guards see him dash towards them. “Oh, wow, he’s coming back…. Let me try something.” Sharp Blade held out his wing and waited for the colt to smash into it. Pip jumped and hit the wing with his shoulder. He didn’t even make a dent in the soft fluffy feathers of the guard’s wing.
“Oi, what’s your wing made of, steel!?”
“No, it’s made of feathers,” the guard explained.
Pip tried to push past the wing but his attempts were futile. Stepping into the shadows, he began to think over his plan. In order to fight the impossible, he had to do the impossible. He lacked a cutie mark, he hung out with Button Mash who was certifiably insane, he had absorbed some of that said insanity, and he had a probably hopeless goal that would somehow workout the way he wanted to. In a way, he was already part of a group that did the impossible. He just had to reach down and summon his inner Cutie Mark Crusader and use all the wit and cunning of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
An alarm blared as three guards ran out into the courtyard. “What happened?!” War Trotter yelled.
“A Colt just lit a few bushes on fire, kicked Battle Cry in the nads and screamed Cutie Mark Crusaders: Breaking and Entering-ers!”
“Damn it,” War Trotter growled, “Damn it! Ms. Cheerilee told me that there was a third crusader. So, this colt is Sweetie Belle; I knew that sweet innocent filly I met on Monday couldn’t be part of that club of destroyers. Where’s the colt now?”
“Inside the castle.” Battle Cry whimpered, as tears streamed down his face.
Pip evaded guards anyway he could. They jump and dove for him at various angles, unable to grab him do to his small size. Magical alarms blared across the castle, putting all guards and the princesses on high alert. Spike dashed out of his room, and looked around the hall way only to be met be the sight of Princess Celestia. “Princess, what’s going on?” His answer came in the form of an aura enveloping his body. Spike was tossed back into his room, on his bed as the door slammed shut and locked.
“Stay in there!” Celestia demanded. She cocked her head side to side as if she was about to fight. As far as she knew everything was on the line right now. Besides the few known villains, there were still a few that she feared she’d have to face again. For all she knew, Exhaurire was back with a vengeance. She was not losing Spike, her sister, or Twilight in case she showed up! She trotted down the hall following the loud commotion of the guards only to encounter her sister.
“Sister, what is happening?” Luna forcefully whispered.
“I don’t know, but whatever it is, it has enough cunning or power to surpass all of our guards.” They continued together down the hall, following the screams and calls of all the guards to find a single colt, standing in the middle of the hall.
“Oi, Princess Luna!” He cried as he hugged the princess’s leg.
Luna could only sputter out a few random sounds. Pip was the intruder. Were the guards this worthless that a colt that was able to get this far into the castle? Worst of all, Pip had a look in his eye that made her feel a looming dread. It was only when the young colt was tackled that Luna feel a new emotion, rage.
“Finally! You, my friend are in so much trouble!” Sharp Blade shouted pressing his hoof into Pip’s back, forcing his body into the floor.
“Guard, release him… now,” Luna sighed.
“What?! Tell me you’re kidding!” The guard argued.
“We are not,” Luna breathed, “We order thy, let the colt rise.”
“But Princess, this prick caused-”
“Do not refer to him as that! Whatever Young Pipsqueak did, we pardon him. We will take care of any damages he might have caused. Release the colt, now.” She demanded.
“Princess-”
“Insolent foal!” Luna shouted using her royal Canterlot voice. The guard released Pip and took a few steps back. Princess Luna’s eye glowed with a powerful white light as lightning seemed to strike the ground. Her wings flapped with a distinct rhythm that propelled her into the air and creating a powerful gust of wind. “We are thy Princess, ruler of the night, Alicorn of the Moon! Do you think it is beyond our power to banish thee to the dark depths of my art’s surface!? Hear me when I say run, run for you have angered us!” The guard didn’t need to be told twice. It took only a moment, but he seemed to vanish without a trace.
Luna returned to normal as she descended to the ground. “And as for thou, young Pipsqueak, might we ask why thou has broken into the castle?” ‘Please say it’s to tell us you wish to be friends. For the love of Faust, do not say because I love you’’ She prayed.
Celestia’s jaw dropped. This was Pipsqueak? His parents had to have had some type of foresight because he was small. Like really small and insanely cute.
Before Pip even attempted to answer, Luna found year leg captured in yet another hug. Pip released her and gave her the widest smile he could muster. “Well since you’re my favorite princess ever, I had to get in here to ask you a question,” Pip declared. “Princess Luna,” Pip began with the naiveté found only in clueless colts, “will you go out with me?”
Both princesses fell silent. Pipsqueak actually did it. Without the aid of any of the mane six, he had broken into the castle and asked the one question Luna had been dreading. “Um… Pip, give us on moment, if you’d be so kind.” Celestia pulled Luna into a nearby room.
“Thou said he could not get in here!” Luna growled.
“Yes, and I’m sorry, but there’s no turning back now… you’re going to have to break it to him.” Celestia cringed.
“And how on Faust’s Earth do we do this, Sister!?”
Celestia let out a heavy sigh. She had experienced the same dilemma as her sister hundreds of times and it was never easy taking a young colt’s hopes and dreams, and smashing them until there was nothing left. Over the years, she had found ways to ease the pain, but there was no place that was better for dream smashing than a desert place that opened up a few years back. It was a small desert restaurant; one that specialized in timing. They knew of their reputation as being the place to end a relationship or in Luna's case crushing colts’ dreams, so they would deliver the ice cream the second the relationship was terminated or the dreams were crushed. “If that happens, Luna, take Pip here.” Celestia quickly scribbled an address. “He won’t cry, but you’ll still see his heart break.”
“We’re sorry?”
“If worse comes to worst, you’ll see what I mean.”
Celestia forced her sister out of the room, not before wishing her luck on her journey. Luna slowly approached Pip, holding her breath. Each step she took seemed to widen Pip’s smile until it surpassed Pinkie’s biggest grin. Luna finally allowed herself to breath when she uttered the words, “We know a nice place where we can eat.”
Luna had taken Pip through the streets of Canterlot, guiding him to the restaurant Sweet Swirls. “Are you serious!?” Pip asked as he stared at the sign. Sweet Swirls was one of the most famous desert restaurants in Equestria. “Are we actually going to eat ice cream for dinner!?” He hopped up and down, praying that her answer was yes.
“Of course… a first date should be memorable… don’t you think?” Luna sheepishly asked.
“Yeah, but this is ice cream, for dinner!” Pip excitedly went in and managed to get a table for two. Luna reluctantly followed and sat across from the colt, earning sorry glances from the staff. Around the restaurant, Luna saw crying mares, stallions and the occasional colt or filly. They both ordered, Pip getting a Triple Chocolate Fudge Sunday Supreme, and Luna ordering a single scoop of chocolate ice cream.
“So Pip, how’s Ponyville? Any fillies catch your eye?”
“Only the one in front of me,” He smiled.
“Wow… there’s no sense delaying this,” Luna took a deep breath before continuing. “Pip, we need to talk about our relationship.” Pip gasped loudly, thinking he knew where this was going, and his answer would be yes, he would marry her! “Pip, we art an immortal alicorn princess and thou are a colt….” She tried to choke out the rest of the line but was unable to do so. For the longest time, Luna wondered why this situation was one of Rarity’s worst nightmares, but now she knew why. She couldn’t do it, this was the colt she turned to so she might learn to fit in with her subjects. She wanted an out, anything to stop her from doing this.
It seemed to come like a gift from Faust... or cruel joke from Discord. The bell to the restaurant rang as the last pony Luna expected to see entered, Blueblood. “Thank Faust, I’m not too late!” Blueblood marched up to the duo and glared at the colt.
“Blueblood… What are thou doing here? How did thou know to come here?”
“You can thank Celestia for that,” Blueblood explained.
(Twenty minutes ago)
“She won’t be able to do it,” Celestia said to herself as she watched her sister walk off with a colt that hopped up and down as he traveled beside her. Pip was too cute of a colt, and in all reality, Luna would clam up; her heart was just too big. What Luna needed was somepony with a heart so black, so small that it only had room for its owner.
But first she trotted back to Spike’s room and unlocked the door. “Finally!” Spike marched out of his room. “What, the alarms blare and I get locked in my room? I’m a dragon, a fire breathing dragon! I can take on a lot of things!” Spike was picked back up in Celestia’s aura and placed back on his bed.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have risked it,” Celestia dead panned. Spike huffed and Celestia continued on her search. She went through the castle, keeping an ear open for complaining. When she reached the fitting room, she knew her search had come to an end.
“This suit is not good enough! I need this to outshine every stallion there is! This suit could barely out shine my aunt’s sun!” Blueblood threw a perfectly fine suit at the dress maker, causing her to growl. He stomped out of the room muttering insults. “Oh, Auntie, there you are. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about a problem we’ve been having the last few days. You see, I’ve notice purple scales scattered about the castle and, Blah, blah, I’m a prick, meep, meep, meep.” His whining became noise after a while with Celestia choosing to listen for select complaints. “Can’t we just put your pet in a kennel? I swear, sanitation would increase by 52%!”
“No,” Celestia deadpanned. “Look, there’s a small problem, Luna’s at Sweet Swirls with this colt… Blueblood?” She looked around the hall but found nothing except a trail of dust.
“It took me a good 15 minutes to track this place down, but it’s worth it if it means keeping the royal bloodline free from filth!” Blueblood declared, earning a few glances from the waitresses.
“I know my coat looks like it has dirt on it, but I swear it’s just patches of brown,” Pip explained.
“Not what I meant, you little worm,” Blueblood sneered. “You may live in a little fantasy world where you can get with a princess, but let me tell you how wrong you are. You will never be with any princess, in this or any lifetime.”
“Well, I am on a date with the princess right now!”
“Except this is a pity date,” Blueblood admitted. “Go on, ask her. Ask my Aunt Luna if she sees a future with you, if the answer isn’t yes, then know she just thinks of you as an annoying little colt she felt obligated to take to a desert restaurant before dumping him lack the sack of garbage we all know he is! The answer she’ll give you that lets you know she thinks that is ‘Street Urchin, you’re a nice colt’.” Blueblood said in a feminine voice. The waitresses’ glances turned into glares.
‘He’s just lying,’ Pip thought, ‘Luna wouldn’t have let me take her out if she didn’t like me.’ He turned to look Luna in the eye, who tried to break said eye contact. “Luna, we have a chance, right? I just need to wait six years, right?”
There are times in life where time seems to slow down and other times when it seems to speed up. For Luna, when Pip looked her in the eye and asked if they had a chance together, time slowed to a mere crawl. The only solace she could take in it was she would not be labeled the bad guy, that position was permanently filled by Blueblood. “Pipsqueak, thou are a kind gentlecolt,”
Luna must have tried to let him down as easy as she could, but all Pip heard was “Pip, thou are a pile of trash that no one will ever love. Blueblood was one hundred percent right, actually more. We wanted to hurt somepony, and thou? We knew we could crush thou like a grape. We waited to get thy hopes up before we took a hammer and smashed said hopes into nothingness.” And she did.
Luna saw it; the exact moment Pip’s tiny heart split in half. The image became burnt into her retinas. Everywhere Luna turned; there Pip was, holding his little chest as if a knife had just been driven into it. A large plate of ice cream was placed in front of him to help him fight back the tears. “Excuse me, miss? Can I please have this in a to-go box?” He whimpered, staring at the treat.
It didn’t even take the waitress ten seconds to produce a box for Pip. “Just know, I’m sure somewhere out there, there’s a filly waiting for you,” the waitress said as she patted Pip on the back, which turned into a small, but warm hug. In all her years serving at this restaurant, she had never seen a colt be dropped so brutally, especially by some pompous jerk.
“Thank you miss,” Pipsqueak placed his Sunday in the box and hopped down from his seat just as a few tears crept forth. “Princess Luna, thank you for tonight, but I have to go.” Without another word Pip ran out of the restaurant.
“And once again, the royal lineage is saved, thanks to Prince Blueblood.” He triumphantly smirked before being punched across the muzzle.
“Jack-ass!” The waitress commented. He tried to pick himself off the ground before a second waitress kicked him while he was down. It continued for most of the night. The waitresses had all hit a breaking point, and Blueblood volunteered to be the punching bag
“Wow, I would hate to be that kid,” Time Turner sighed as he watched Pip run out of the building leaving a few tear drops in his wake. Not even a moment later, Dinky and Twist sat down at the table. “There you both are I had to order without you two, what took you so long?”
Dinky took a breath, “Look, Time Turner, you’re really nice.”
“And we all really want to stay your girlfriend’s sister and your girlfriend’s sister’s friend,” Twist add.
A waitress placed Time Turner’s order in front of him. His face fell. “I can change,” he pleaded.
“Time Turner, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry. But hey, if you get married to my sister, we can still be in-laws, and Twist and I can be flower fillies,” Dinky consoled.
Pip ran into the hotel up 24 flights of stairs and knocked on his teacher’s door. “Crap, Pip, what did you do?” Cheerilee said, making weeping sounds.
Pip gave out a whimper, “… Miss. Cheerilee, can I come with you and the rest of the class to the educational part of the trip?”
“What’s the bill?”
“I already paid; it was seven bits. Can I just come, most of my plans were ripped in half,” Pip said, fighting back his tears.
“Oh, no damages to pay? Um… Okay, I’ll see you in the lobby at 7:50.” It was weird, but as long as there were no damages, who would care? Cheerilee closed her door and Pip returned to his room.
“Sup, Pip!” Button greeted. “How was your date?”
“I’m going to bed,” Pip answered.
“Wait, Pip, come on, just tell us what happened!” Rumble tried to coax. Pip responded only by climbing into bed and going to sleep.
Spike sat in his room, unable to focus on his Power Pony Comic. What did Celestia know about love? Last he checked, she was single. The joke about him and Sweetie Belle dating was doing nothing except annoying him. Maybe he should just stop seeing her. At least then, Celestia wouldn't be able say anything about them. He just needed to ditch her. Yet the mere thought of doing so made a pit in his stomach grow. It wasn't anything painful but it did make him feel a twinge of guilt.
“Dang it,” he muttered as he smacked his face with his comic. He couldn’t just ditch her. Teasing or not, Sweetie Belle was his friend, and from all of the letters he wrote for Twilight one thing was obvious, no matter what, real friends stick together. Besides, it didn't matter what Celestia said, Spike’s heart would always belong to Rarity. The pit in his stomach disappeared only to be filled with a new emptiness, hunger. He placed his comic on his bed and almost left the room. He stopped in his doorway and let out a groan. If he went to the kitchen, he’d probably be subjected to more teasing, and any god beside Celestia knew he was getting tired of that. Maybe he would just eat some gems and go to bed.
‘He wouldn’t want to see me show off… would he?’ Sweetie Belle kept on thinking about how Spike loved to see her sister model the dresses she made, but then again, that was her sister. Sweetie shook her head. It was a stupid idea, thanking a colt by showing off a dress. Was she that egotistical? She would just stick to her café plan. Speaking of plans, she could no longer ignore her friends. “So what do you need?” Sweetie finally asked Scootaloo.
“We told you,” Scootaloo sighed, “we need you to read over our escape plan.” In her hoof was a crudely drawn picture of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo running away from what looked like a grey blob.
“I-I don’t know what… Okay, what’s the plan?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Ugh,” Scootaloo moaned, “I think Spike’s rubbing off on you. You see, this is me and Apple Bloom running away from the class after we set of some smoke grenades,"
"Where did you get smoke grenades?"
"Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo answered, "anyway, we then meet up here.” Scootaloo pulled out a map of Canterlot and pointed to a small circle. “It’s some fancy café; you’ll be waiting here with disguises for us when we escape.”
“Ya don’t have to worry ‘bout a thing; we sent a letter and made reservations for four since yer stuck with Spike again. All you need to do is wait at the table we reserved.”
Fancy café? Minus the escape plan that was obviously made in five minutes and would inevitably fail, it was answer to all her problems. “Don’t worry I’ll have you guys covered!” Sweetie Belle saluted.
“Wait, you do realize that we will most likely get caught the minute we step back into the hotel, right?" Scootaloo warned, "Spike can’t be punished, but Ms. Cheerilee will probably come down on us like a hammer.”
Worth it! At least, that’s what she wanted to say. In the countless situations that played out in her head, Sweetie Belle could see all of them ending the same way. She would have to say goodbye to Spike. For some reason the thought of actually saying goodbye to him was, not so much depressing or that much of a degree of sad, but it did seem to drain some of her previous happiness. Why was that? It’s not like she could pretend to not know why. After the time she spent with him, she could admire his kindness.
He didn’t have to do anything for her the first day and he could have said no to Cheerilee’s request that very same night, but instead, he did things that he probably wasn’t too thrilled doing and then the next day, he tried his hardest to show her around the castle just for the sake of making her day nice. Sure, he still talked about Rarity, but as her sister told her, boys will be boys.
She thought back to her thank you plan. Celestia as her witness, she would take him out to breakfast! “I understand and I accept!” Sweetie held her hoof high with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo doing the same.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders, Prison Breakers!” They forcefully whispered, quietly putting there hooves together. Sweetie Belle may have to say good-bye to Spike for the rest of the week plus a few days when she got back to Ponyville, but at least she could do so knowing she thanked him. The rest of the night consisted of the three friends laughing as they mocked Diamond Tiara and debated which Element of Harmony would win in a fight. It was one of the few times Scootaloo didn't punch somepony for saying Rainbow Dash would lose.
The next morning, Spike came a bit earlier than Sweetie Belle had anticipated. According to the plan, she and Spike had to be at the café by 8:45, when Scootaloo and Apple Bloom would arrive at the Star Swirl the Bearded museum. According to her friends, the café was about 15 minutes and 27 seconds away from the hotel and only a mere 3 minutes away from the museum. Apple Bloom managed to find this out by doing more math in ten minutes then she had done in her entire life. It was 7:36. If her friends’ plan was to be a success, she needed to keep Spike occupied for at least 30 minutes. But what topic could get him talking long enough to eat away 30 minutes?
She had to think, what was he obsessed with…? Rarity would know, Spike spent more time with her than… Oh right Rarity. “Hey Spike, what do you think of Rarity?” Sweetie asked innocently.
Apple Bloom smiled when she heard Spike go into Rarity mode, sure most of what he said would be a repeat of the same two traits, but it should eat up enough time for Sweetie Belle to get into position. She felt a tug on her tail, forcing her to turn around. She came face to face with a wicked witch and her flying monkey. “What do you want, Diamond Tiara?” Apple Bloom sighed.
“Whatever you and the other losers have planned for today, it better not hurt our chances with the fillies from Celestia’s school!” Diamond Tiara warned.
“And ah would care why?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Look, let me put this in as simple of terms as I can," Silver Spoon offered, coming out from behind her 'besty', "you don’t like us, we don’t like you. If Ms. Cheerilee sees Diamond Tiara and I getting along with fillies while we leave you alone in a good way, do you think she’ll be as likely to put us together in a group setting like she tried to do on the train ride here?” Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses as she flashed a smile. “Besides, knowing your club, the three of you probably put together an escape plan. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“…Okay, ya got me, we may have a small escape plan in the works….I would stay away from the entrance at 8:47, things might get a little smoggy fer y’all.”
Meanwhile Scootaloo grabbed some essential equipment from her room. Reaching into her saddlebag, she took out two smoke grenades that would be essential to their escape. She remembered when Rainbow Dash bought them for her as a birthday present; her mom called her irresponsible and a terrible role model, but her dad could have cared less, he actually supported it. All Scootaloo had to do was pull the pins and throw.
“And she’s bounteous and good-looking, gorgeous and giving, her hair is like a flowing river and she’s really charitable, and she’s a total knock-out and benevolent!” Spike had been saying different synonyms for beautiful and generous for the past 35 minutes. The fact that Sweetie Belle did not want to lobotomize herself was nothing short of a miracle. “Wow, look at the time!” Spike laughed, “Sorry, anyway. I know an awesome place we could go for breakfast. It’s this place down the street-”
Sweetie’s hoof silenced Spike completely. “That’s great, but I thought maybe we could go to this café I found.” She gave him a smile, “Wanna go?”
Spike mumbled something, but he was completely ignored.
“Great, let’s go!” Sweetie grabbed her saddlebag and Spike, and rushed to the café. They arrived in less than ten minutes. She took a deep breath and turned to Spike. “Well, we’re here,” she said, sounding just a little sad.
“I see that, but Sweetie, I should tell you-”
“Spike,” Sweetie interrupted, “I just want to say… thank you.”
“You’re welcome, but-”
“No, really, thank you,” Sweetie’s tone turned serious, something Spike never really saw before. “Spike, the past two days have been some of the best days of my young life… second only to some of the days I spend with Rarity. To be truthful though, I really can’t name the last time I had this much fun. I just want you to know that you were really, really nice to me and made the trip so far the best I could’ve had.” Behind her words was just a small twinge of sadness, something Spike picked up on pretty fast.
“Why does this sound like a good-bye?” Spike asked. He quickly shook his head. “No, I’m getting off track. Sweetie, look I really need to tell you-” He was interrupted once again as Sweetie wrapped her front legs around him.
“Thank you,” She repeated. “Anyway, I already made reservations, so let’s enjoy this for… 35 minutes, ok?” She released him and walked up to the stallion. This was it, after this one moment, there was no turning back. At least she would give him a proper thank you thank you and good-bye.
She would enjoy the next half hour with him, even if it were her last for this week. However, the more she looked at it, the more she realized, they forged a friendship that could last longer than a four-day gap. Sweetie Belle would see him Sunday at the latest, and maybe then, they both could work with Rarity. The thought of her, Spike, and Rarity sharing the day together; for some reason, it put a smile on her face. “Excuse me, sir? I have a reservation here for four, under the name ScootaBloom.”
“Ah, I see,” The waiter said in a thick French accent. “Yes, now where are you parents?”
Spike knew he had to say something. There was one tiny detail he didn’t tell Sweetie Belle about the café he took her to Monday. However, before he could say it Sweetie Belle began to speak.
“Um… Parents? It’s just me and my friend. The dragon over there, see?” She pointed to Spike whom face palmed.
The face of the stallion fell. “Is this some type of joke?” he asked.
“J-joke?” Sweetie repeated. Her smile was nothing but a memory now. This was going to be her thank you breakfast for Spike, she made reservations via mail, how could this be going wrong!?
“Yes, a joke, something that is supposed to be funny. This is a café worthy of Canterlot’s elite, we would not let children run around here unsupervised. That would drive away customers and ruin our business!”
“What?!” Sweetie Belle asked in disbelief. But Scootaloo and Apple Bloom made the reservations, how did they not allow children in!?
“Yeah Sweetie Belle, that’s what I was trying to tell you,” Spike admitted. “The only café in Canterlot that lets kids eat by themselves is the one Rarity brought up, and they only let kids eat alone on Monday, 12-1.”
Sweetie Belle stood in silence. So she couldn’t even hope to help her friends with their plan. She wouldn’t get in trouble for helping them because she couldn’t help them in the first place… meaning that she could still hang out with Spike! She felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Why was she so happy? Didn’t matter, now she could take Spike to a nice café without Scootaloo and Apple Bloom interrupting.
“Wait, no café will allow us in… without an adult.” Sweetie Belle smacked her forehead with her hoof. So much for showing Spike how grateful she was by paying for a supper fancy, Rarity styled breakfast. She let out a groan of frustration before falling on her haunches. Why could nothing she planned ever go right?
She felt a claw gently pat her back in an attempt to lift her spirits. “Hey, it’s okay,” Spike smiled, “If it makes you feel better, I know this one place I think you’d like.”
Sweetie Belle stood in front of the small shop. “Spike I don’t think Rarity would like me eating here for breakfast,” She gently explained.
“… I won’t tell if you don’t tell,” Spike grinned.
Pony Joe sat in a state of depression. His mortgage was due tomorrow, the tax collectors were breathing down his neck, and he had the most generic name in the world. Pony Joe, what parents name their child Pony Joe? Still, as bad as his name was, there were some names that were far worse. The worst name he had ever heard was Shadow Scythe. He actually had a 100 bit bet ridding on the chance that the kid turned to the dark side in two or three years. Joe snapped back to reality when he heard his door open. It was Spike with a filly. “Well, well, Spike the Dragon… I might be able to pay my mortgage now. So what can I get you?” He quickly handed them each a menu.
Sweetie took a seat with a dejected expression. "Two usuals, Joe,” Spike ordered. Two plates with three doughnuts each slid to a stop right in front of Sweetie Belle and Spike as did two cups of hot cocoa. Sweetie Belle reached for her bag, but as she did she heard Spike say, “Here you go, Joe!” as the sound of two gems hitting the counter broke her fighting spirit.
While Spike happily ate his food, he noticed one glaring problem; Sweetie was just sitting there staring at her doughnuts and cocoa. “Sweetie Belle, is everything okay?”
She didn't answer straight away, instead there was a long silence between them. “… I’m sorry,” she finally murmured.
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” Sweetie Belle repeated, “Rarity told me that if someone was kind to you, you should repay them with kindness.” Sweetie Belle slumped over her breakfast. “I wanted to do something for you today. You’ve been taking me all throughout Canterlot and taking me out to dinners and stuff while I… I don’t know, I just feel kinda bad.” She took a small nibble of a chocolate glazed doughnut. “You’re this amazing friend and I just… well... I just take advantage of you. I mean last night I had this great idea to show you Rarity’s dress and to take you out to breakfast, but both failed before they even began. What I’m trying to say is, I'm sorry I can’t really say thank you.”
Spike took a sharp breath. Seeing Sweetie Belle this sad made him feel… bad. She felt guilty over practically nothing, but still, he should, no, had do something to make her feel better. “Sweetie, you don’t need to feel obligated to say or even try to say thank you. Besides, that little speech outside that cafe made it pretty clear you were thankful. You’re my friend, if I do anything it’s because that’s what friends do. Believe me when I say you are not taking advantage me… in fact if I was going to be completely honest with you I’m not that great of a friend to start with.” Spike chuckled as he took another bite of his doughnut. “I mean, sure I took you out, showed you around the castle,” Spike held his breath for a short moment before continuing, “but let’s not pretend I’ve been a saint all my life.”
“Yeah, I know, but you have your greed under control most of the time.”
“Yeah, there’s that,” Spike murmured as he took a sip of his coco. “But this time it was more along the lines of me ditching you today….” Silence fell as Sweetie’s mouth dropped.
“Is it because the servants were making fun of you because I’m from Ponyville and you're technically Twilight's son?” Sweetie finally asked.
“Well, first off, Twilight's more my older sister than mom, secondly... in a way it was about you… but it was more of Celestia teasing me about you and me dating.” Spike quickly shoved the rest of his breakfast into his mouth.
Sweetie sat staring at the drake before she exploded. “You wanted to ditch me because the Princess teased you about hanging out with me!?” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. She didn’t know exactly how Rarity would react to this but Sweetie Belle knew that it would not be positive, that much was sure, and the nerve! A little teasing and he wanted to ditch her!? “This is just…. I don’t even have a word for this… Um… this is something that Rarity would call bad using one of those fancy words she knows! And to think I was more worried about saying thank you, than I was about helping my friends with their escape plan!”
“Helping your friends with their what?” Spike asked, forgetting the guilt he had once felt.
“W-well, they got reservations at the café so I could wait at a table to give them disguises. Since I was going to be there for breakfast, I thought why not invite you so I could cross off two things on my check list,” Sweetie Belle explained. “But at least I was thinking of you, Mr. Thinks-I’m-Not-Good-Enough-For-Him!”
“Hey I never said I didn’t like you!” Spike quickly bit his tongue. “No, wait, I mean, I like you, just as a friend though, not in the way Celestia talks about it! And I would like to point out that I still stuck with you, Mrs. Escape-Artist,” Spike accused.
“So? I only went along with the escape to say thank you for the past two days!” Sweetie Belle snapped, “I could have cared less how it went because I know that it would eventually blow up in our faces! I almost wanted tell you to forget it and to do something else!”
“Really?” Spike asked, taken aback by the statement. Usually Sweetie Belle was first in line to help here friends out of whatever mess they were in, putting everything else second.
“Yeah… but I would probably second guess that now too,” Sweetie Belle admitted with a grumble. Once again silence fell across the room. Sweetie rotated her stool so she face away from Spike, Spike doing the same. To think she actually wanted to thank him! She even gave him a good-bye/thank you speech before attempting to enter a café. She even hugged him! She never hugs colts! It was mostly because of Scootaloo’s third law, but still.
Spike glared at the bathroom, ticked off that Sweetie tried to use him as a piece in some poorly made escape plan. She probably faked that little speech of hers too. No, she couldn’t have; from that one play he saw her in, Spike knew that Sweetie Belle was no actor. The thank you speech was genuine, she really did feel grateful to him and now he felt guilty again! 'She just wanted to thank me.' He kept repeating that one thought repeatedly, allowing him to say, “I’m sorry; getting teased was a pretty lame reason to want to ditch you.” And just like it had appeared, the guilty pit in his stomach vanished.
Sweetie turned to argue with him again, “Oh yeah well-” Sweetie stopped mid-sentence when she processed what Spike had said. “Well… you….” She didn’t actually expect an apology so fast. It ruined her entire argument and gave her some pit like feeling in her stomach; why did he have to be the mature one here!? “Well… I guess,” She took a deep breath before gathering her thoughts. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for almost including you in an escape plan.” They both began to chuckle. “So when we go back home, does this mean we have to write in Twilight’s diary since we had a small fight?”
Spike shrugged, “What Twilight doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” The area seemed to settle down with an oddly comfortable silence. However, something still felt off. Sweetie Belle still seemed to carry just a small bag of uncertainty with her. “Hey Sweetie, you know, if you still want to thank me, I wouldn’t mind seeing the dress Rarity made you.”
“I don’t see that happening, Spike,” Sweetie admitted.
“Ah, let me guess, not allowed to?”
Sweetie Belle let out a soft moan, “No, I literally can’t. I left it back at Rarity's house.” Her chin rested on the counter as her cheeks inflated. “Thought she would've reminded me about it,” she murmured as if it was all Rarity’s fault.
It took Spike less than two seconds to think of a way to help her out. “Is that it?” He asked, “cause, if you want, I could probably get you one made at the castle.”
Sweetie Belle’s head shot up, “Really?”
“Yeah,” Spike chuckled, “I know this one seamstress at the castle, Honey Suckle, she'd probably be able to get it done for free. She did plenty of jobs for me when I lived here. One thing, she’s not Rarity good, but she’s still a pretty good dressmaker. I’ll just let her know and she’ll have a dress ready by the end of the day!”
Scootaloo’s advice from last night rang clear in Sweetie’s head. 'I stand corrected,' She thought to herself. As Spike led her out of the shop and to the castle, she couldn’t help but feel like she’d forgotten something super ultra-important.
The clock struck 8:45; it was time. Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a quick nod, the code to put the plan in motion. All Scootaloo had to do was wait until the teacher from the School for Gifted Unicorns was close enough to Cheerilee so her grenades would blind both simultaneously. The professor took his time, explaining the history of the museum itself to the large group of children. Each step he took excited Scootaloo to no end. Just one more step and… “Now!” She cried as two grenades dropped from under her wings. With a quick rotation, the tip of her wings unpinned both grenades, sending them hurtling towards the teachers.
It happened to fast for the two of them to see who threw them, but both teachers knew there would be hell to pay when they found out who did. There was a defining bang as smoke began to pour from the containers. Eyes began to burn, foals began to cough as both Apple Bloom and Scootaloo made a run for the entrance.
“Who did this!?” The professor cried as he tried to shield his eyes whiles attempting to bring order to the foals.
With burning eyes, Cheerilee picked up one of the grenades to see a familiar stamp on it.
She crushed the container, before letting out a growl that would chill the soul of any beast lurking in Tartarus.
“Scootaloo, Apple Bloom!” The pair of fillies heard before hearing what sounded like a museum’s door being kicked open.
“Awe shoot, she’s coming!” Apple Bloom shouted as a pink mass slowly gained on them. If they could just make it to the café, Sweetie Belle would be there waiting to hand them their disguises. It would only prolong their eventual punishment, but anything was worth not having to learn.
“Apple Bloom, there it is!” Scootaloo exclaimed. The café was a mere few feet away, and so was Cheerilee. They skidded to a stop in front of a stallion. “We made reservations! It should be under ScootaBloom!” The Pegasus shouted.
The stallion merely scoffed “As I told that one filly and her dragonic boyfriend-”
“Whoa! I have a rule about that,” Scootaloo warned.
“Scoots, not now!” Apple Bloom screamed. She pulled the stallion down to her eye level “You. Table. Show us. Now!”
“As I told that one filly and her dragonic boyfriend,” The stallion repeated, yanking his tie out of Apple Bloom's hoof, “we do not seat children unless they are accompanied by a parent!”
“What!?” The fillies screamed in unison. They tried to think of some type of contingency, but it was too late, a shadow was cast across them. They turned to face a demon from Tartarus. Her eyes were dyed a light green as purple wisps of mist emitted from them. They didn’t dare run, there was no longer any point.
“Oh, there you are!" He gave Cheerilee a kind smile. "If you’re ready, I will show you to your seats!” The stallion happily sang.
“… No,” Cheerilee said in deep, calm voice that seemed frighten a passing Iron Will. The stallion, for some reason, felt fear for himself and for the fillies, but said nothing for he would only call upon the wrath of the school teacher, “You two, museum, now.” The two fillies gulped, but did not fight their fate.
Their teacher, who had since lost the glare in her eyes, dragged them back to the museum. “You two are in so much trouble,” Cheerilee hissed, leading them into the museum. A mare sat at the entrance desk, ready to hand Cheerilee a piece of paper. "2563 bits for collateral, is that enough for you?" The mare nodded and wrote the number on the ticket, erasing the original 2345 bit fine. Cheerilee took the ticket, giving Apple Bloom and Scootaloo an anger filled glance. "Is everypony else ok?” She asked in a more happy tone, regrouping with the two classes. The foals seemed to calm down, returning to their respective group of friends. All except one group, that is.
“Pipsqueak is still in a catatonic state!” Button Mash cried as Rumble tried everything to wake their friend up from what ever trance he was under.
“Don't worry, he’s been like that since last night,” Cheerilee admitted. To be truthful, the catatonic state coupled with the aura of a shattered perception of reality and the scent of smashed hopes and dreams seemed almost familiar. It was like the time Snails fell in love with her and she had to smash his heart as if it was a glass bottle. That wasn’t important though, at least she knew that there were still a few students that could stay out of trouble... even if they were in a catatonic state.
“Wait here.” Spike said as Sweetie Belle stood in front of a decorated door. She nodded her head, but she didn’t actually hear the drake, she was too busy being bedazzled by the door. It must have cost a fortune, that or Rarity came and simply had to accessorize it. The frame was incrusted with gems of all types, mainly sapphires. The handle of the door seemed to be made to look like glass, but Sweetie assumed that it was actually a large diamond. The rest of the door was covered in a pattern that Rarity might fawn over: ruby, emerald, and a topaz, followed by a cobalt, amber and finally an amethyst, all in neat vertical rows.
Spike entered the room and saw a mare editing what looked like a suit for Prince Blueblood. “'It’s not good enough',” the mare mocked. “'It needs to show up any stallion that walks in the room, that suit can hardly show up my aunt! Do we just pay you to be lazy?' Ungrateful little prick.”
“Um, Honey?”
The mare turned and was shocked to see a familiar face. “Oh, wow, Spike, longtime no see! How’ve you been?”
“Um good, look can I ask you for a favor? You see there’s this filly and-”
“Ooo, Spike, a filly, you say? Do tell,” she purred. She wasn’t really that interested… well actually she was, but at the same time it was still a good excuse not to work on Prince Blue Prick’s suit.
“Well, um… you see, there’s this dance she’s going to on Friday and she kinda forgot her dress at home. Do you think you can make her one?”
“Wow, not even on your first date and you're already spoiling her!"
"No, not you too! Look, I just need a dress made without the 'you're dating a cute filly' joke!" Spike yelled.
"Wow, so after talking to me like that, do you expect me to just drop my current project to go on this impossible mission to make this random filly a new dress?" She asked pretending to be offended. She was actually all the more giddy, she never mentioned the filly being cute. "It’s a good thing that you’re highly respected by three princesses, otherwise the answer would be no! Talk to Celestia, see if she has any old dresses she never tried on, bring it to me and I’ll give it a quick edit,” she smiled before she started pushing Spike out of the room with a list of instructions. “If you can’t find the Princess, then go to her room and follow that list step by step. It isn’t the first time I’ve been asked to make someone a new dress from one of her old ones. Just ask Twilight, half of her dresses were Celestia's at one point. Just send the filly in so I can have a general sense of dress size and color!” She said before forcing the confused dragon out of the room.
Spike found himself in front of Sweetie Belle, “Okay, Honey needs you to go in there, I’ll be doing something else,” he said, looking down at his list. Spike picked dashed down a hall leaving Sweetie Belle alone in front of the door.
Sweetie Belle causally rotated the diamond doorknob and silently swung the door open. The room looked like her sister and twelve other mares had torn through it. The only empty spaces was a small platform in front of a row of curved mirrors and mannequins that hosted several dresses and suits. In the center of it all was a single mare with a golden coat of fresh honey and a braided, burnt orange mane.
“Um… are you Honey...? What’s going on!?” Sweetie Belle was caught in the mare’s magic and placed on the pedestal in the center of the room,.
“Ooh, so you’re the filly,” The mare gasped. “Wow, Spike said cute, but that might be an understatement. I’m sorry; where are my manners? Honey Suckle, dressmaker extraordinaire.” She talked a million miles per second, editing a suit as she scrutinized the young filly before her. “So what’s your name? Cutie Pie? Sweet Pea? Come on, a cute filly needs to have a cute name.”
The statements made Sweetie Belle turn a light pink before she answered, “Sweetie Belle.”
“Wow, that is a cute name. So I hear you need a dress… let’s see what I’m working with here….” Measuring tapes wrapped themselves around every part of Sweetie Belle, only to unwind a few seconds later. “Hmm… I can only hope Spike gets a dress that works for you,” The mare said as she examined the filly. “Something in blue… maybe a mix of silver around the neck… that could work.” She giggled. “So, how did you come to meet Spike? Let me guess, laid some of his charm on you, right?”
Sweetie Belle blushed as she tried to keep her eyes glued to the floor. “Um… I’m not… He’s… We’re not….”
“Awe, no need to be shy, I think young love is adorable. Let me say; you know how to pick them. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Spike is that if he likes you, he’ll move mountains for you.”
“So… um… where is he now?”
“Oh, he’s just on a small errand,” The mare smiled. She wasn't hearing a denial!
Spike stood in the most forbidden doorway in all the land, the entrance to Celestia’s bedroom. He searched the castle high and low, but there was no sign of the Princess, it was as if she vanished into thin air. He took a deep breath before entering the chamber. He didn’t know why Celestia would have kept foal sized dresses, but questioning it would be more trouble than it’s worth. He looked at a list of instructions. “Step 1: Look for a wall with a few missing tiles.” He saw the wall on the opposite side of the room. He sat down in front of it, wondering what to do next. “Step two, slide the tiles across the wall.” He pushed on one of the tiles to see that it moved up, down, left and right. He moved the tiles in a random order until he heard a click.
A section of Celestia’s wall slid open. He was disappointed that all he found was a row of books, something that Twilight had an abundance of back at Golden Oaks. He moved a single tile and the wall slid shut. “Okay, let’s try this again.” He moved the tiles randomly, this time revealing a collection of photo albums. To his shock, Spike saw some of them said Spike Year 1, 2, 3-7, 8-9, Ponyville years. Reluctantly, he flipped through the pages of Spike Year 1. Most of them were just of him with Celestia or Twilight doing stuff, or him wearing embarrassing baby clothes. It was not until he reached the back section that he slammed the book shut. “This is getting weird,” he muttered as he put the book back. Spike began to move the tiles sporadically until he heard a third click. This time a pile of reports from Twilight spilled onto the floor. “OH COME ON!” He shouted.
“Looking for something?” A soft voice asked. Spike froze and then slowly turned around. “Hmm, if Twilight was caught snooping in my room, she would be groveling at my hooves by now,” Celestia playfully explained.
“Um… Let me explain,” Spike stuttered like a bandit caught in a bank vault.
“I’m all ears.”
“… Sweetie Belle forgot her dress in Ponyville, so I said that I could get one made here, but Honey Suckle said she need a pre-made dress to get it done by Friday; she then said that you probably still had one of your’s or Twilight’s old dresses, so I broke in here to find them, following directions I got from Honey," Spike quickly explained on a single breath. "Then I found a baby photo album and there was a section laybled Tickle Fight and that freaked me the heck out!”
Celestia stood in silence as her eyes darted around the room. "And what did you take away from that?” She asked as her eyes focused on Spike.
“You keep photos of me.”
“Okay… moving on. What do you need?”
“I need a dress in size… I don’t know… 10 year old filly?” Spike answered.
Without a second thought, Celestia gently moved Spike away from the wall, levitated the letters back into the wall and sealed the compartment. She quickly arranged the tiles so that a fourth section of the wall opened to reveal a pristine line of dresses. Celestia levitated a dress with three shades of blue out of the line and gave it to Spike. “Anything else?”
“Yeah, just one more thing,” Spike began. “Why do you have fifty secret compartments in your room?”
Celestia couldn’t help but think back to the day she planned her bedroom.
(Many centuries ago)
The filly hopped around as the builders asked the princess for her preferences. “I want a wall right there that has movable tiles that have like bazillion combinations, so that when you slide them in a certain order a wall opens up!”
“We can do that,” The head contractor nodded. “Can we just ask why?”
“Because it’ll be cool,” Celestia happily answered.
“…Because a princess must have her privacy. Now run along, I’m sure there is a certain filly waiting for you.” Spike ran off. Celestia moved tiles around until another compartment slid open. “He must never know.” Inside was a stock of cakes and a mini-fridge filled with milk. She took out a hearty piece of chocolate cake, looking around to make sure a certain Pegasus was not watching.
Spike brought the dress to the dressing room, finally allowing Honey get started on the hard labor and freeing Sweetie from a barrage of questions. The fitting process took about 3 hours, but Honey was far off from being done. She said something about making a dress so good, Sweetie would shine brighter than any star in the sky, including the sun that the Princess raised each morning. “It’ll take time, but I should have it done by tomorrow.” she smiled. Honey helped Sweetie out of her dress and hung it up, finally freeing the filly. Spike and Sweetie Belle left the room, thanking Honey for her kindness. When they were both outside and the door was closed, Honey turned to the suit Blueblood had given her. “How about we put you to good use?” she chuckled mischievously. Honey had one goal in mind: Make the perfect suit in case a drake lands himself a filly dressed in blue. “Oh, but what about Prince Blue Prick?” Honey asked herself. “Oh that’s right, I don’t care!” She laughed as she began to change the suit into something that someone would appreciate, even if they didn't show up their aunt. If worse came to worst, she'd just pander to Blueblood's ego; that's what everypony else did.
“Finally!” Sweetie said as she stretched, “I swear, everpony at school must have had a better day then me!” Spike led her into what looked like small break room. Sweetie Belle nearly jumped onto a couch that rested on the far wall that and sunk into the soft cushions. Spike sat next to her as she let out a groan forged from pure exhaustion.
“Come on it wasn’t that bad.”
She barely opened her eyes. “Have you ever stood in the same spot for three hours as someone tried to edit a dress you were in?”
“All the time; do you not see me at your sister’s house?”
“I do, but you only help her with a few major projects... or when she needs the trash taken out. Besides, she only lets you help because you’re so cute when you ask. It’s like trying to say no to one of Fluttershy’s baby pandas.”
“Oh, but that is where you’d be wrong,” Spike grinned. “You see Sweetie Belle, Rarity doesn’t allow me to help because I’m adorable, it’s because I’ve swayed her with my manly charms.” Spike smiled triumphantly, “It’s only a matter of time before we both confess our mutual feelings for each other.”
Sweetie Belle, as well as the rest of Ponyville, knew of Spike’s ‘secret’ crush, and like most of the town, she wanted to ask one question, “Spike… hypothetically, do you really think Rarity thinks of you like that? I mean don’t get me wrong, you’re a real gentlecolt... drake… it’s just, well, how would Apple Bloom put this? There’s an age gap wider than Ponyville Gorge.”
“Of course! Have you met me? I’m the picture of manliness!” Spike stood up and began to flex his arms. “Oh yeah, I'm looking good, looking real good!” The drake seemed to flex for what seemed like a good five minutes, giving himself complements every few seconds He finally stopped when he heard a small snigger. “What’s so funny?” He asked, falling back down into a sitting position.
Sweetie Belle stopped chuckling, “Nothing….” She said, trying to keep from laughing. “I just… You,” She buried her face in a nearby pillow. After a few minutes Sweetie Belle lifted her head with a smile stained on her face, “I’m sorry you flexing and talking to yourself is just… the funniest thing I have ever seen.”
“You sound too much like Twilight,” Spike sighed. “What do you think? I have a chance with Rarity, right?”
“… yeah… sure you do….” She closed her eyes and hoped Spike would take it at face value.
“Knew it!” He fist pumped. “I told Twilight!”
“Yeah… you did.” As the two made small talk, Sweetie’s eyelids slowly became heavy. It was odd; it was as if something just sucked the energy out of her. She felt too lazy to actually get a couch pillow, so she made do with what she had.
“Sweetie… what are you doing?” Spike asked, feeling her soft mane on his lap.
“I’m tired and your lap is really warm; it’s the perfect pillow,” she said with a smile. Sweetie turned so that she was facing Spike’s chest. She shifted her head in an attempt to find the perfect spot, causing him to become flustered. It was all in good taste though. Being a dragon, Spike's natural body heat was on par with the warmest blankets and pillows, whist her mane provided a softness that couldn't be beat.
“Um… Sweetie Belle… I kinda need you to maybe not lay on me.”
“But Spiiiike,” she whined, “If I, a gorgeous filly, don’t get my beauty sleep, I can’t be certain I would be able to ask the colt of my dreams to the dance.” Her head turned on his lap, “Even if I did, he would get one look at me and say he would rather date a rock. I would return home, heartbroken!” She threw her hoof over her head to add a dramatic effect. “And then I would do nothing but weep for the rest of my foalhood!” She opened one a single inch to see a small internal battle raging in Spike; all he needed was one little push. “And then Rarity would get involved! Oh, the thing’s she would ask! I would have no choice but to tell her everything.” Rarity, Spike’s greatest weakness, the mere mention of her could get him to do the impossible or cause him to bend to someone's will. “And I mean everything, Spike! Her face would twist in a fit of betrayal and disgust! She would forever hate the drake that not only caused my heartbreak, but the drake that seemed play with my heart for three whole days! Imagine it Spike, because you wouldn’t just let me use you like the comfy pillow you are, you destroy any chance you have with Rarity.”
“Let’s not get hasty!” Spike snapped, “my lap was practically made for sleeping on.”
Sweetie Belle turned her head so she faced the door, simply to hide her triumphant grin. She managed to break Spike with a simple scenario; maybe she could use him as a blanket as well. She hid her grin and then turned to face Spike again giving a soft whimper before closing her eyes.
After a long day with a snack break every hour and a half, Celestia proceeded to her workroom for some piece and quite, until something adorable caught her eye. "You are kidding me." She wished she had a camera. Celestia tried to fight the urge, but she finally let out an amused giggle.
“Do not say a word,” Spike growled quietly, careful not to disturb the sleeping filly on his lap.
“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t,” Celestia whispered, walking away from the scene. Spike sat still, careful not to move a muscle. At least he avoided Celestia’s jokes this time. She probably got tired of teasing him about hanging out with a girl. After all, there were only so many jokes a pony could think of before the well went dry. And the fact Celestia returned with a cameria….
“No, wait!” Spike was silenced as a rapid succession of clicks sounded off. Out of the camera developed 2 pictures, each of a smiling filly fast asleep on a blushing dragon’s lap… wait he was blushing?! “What are you going to do?” Spike mouthed as a sudden chill shot up his spine. This was bad. Worse than bad, this was horrible. Who knows what she would do with those pictures. Celestia merely trotted out of sight with the pictures in hoof, but not before she gave Spike a face that made him truly understand why Discord would sometimes call her Trollestia. He tried to move but stopped when he felt Sweetie Belle stir from her slumber. “I am really starting to hate today.”
Sweetie had been asleep for a good four hours, sometimes mumbling something about happiness and her cutie mark. Her eyes finally fluttered opened as she let out a yawn and stretched her legs. “That was a nice nap…. How long was I out?” She asked rubbing her tired eyes.
“Four hours,” Spike answered, “and I think Princess Celestia is going to black mail me.”
Sweetie Belle lifted her head off the drake’s lap and “Wow, I can only imagine how Scootaloo would react to this,” Sweetie Belle said as she hopped off the couch.
“What?”
“Oh yeah, you’re not part of our club. Scootaloo has these three major rules, first one is that no matter what, Rainbow Dash wins at everything and is right about everything, second is that everything a we do must be something Rainbow Dash would approve of otherwise known as 'What Would Rainbow Dash Do' rule, but the third and most important rule is the about the Crusaders and colts.”
“NONE OF US DATE!” Scootaloo shouted at a reluctant Feather Weight. Her and Apple Bloom were forced to sit on a bench for the remainder of the day. Leaving the bench without Cheerilee's permission would result in a call home to any and all parents, siblings, and idols that may exist. “So you can take that cute face of yours and jump off a cliff, because I am not going out with you, ever!”
“I just wanted to know if you’ve seen Shady Daze…”
“Go away!” Scootaloo interrupted, pointing to a different section of the museum.
Feather left with his head down and his tail between his legs.
“Don’t you think that was harsh?” Applebloom asked.
Scootaloo pulled her friend in. “Look, Bloom, I’m doing this for us. Remember the story? A few months ago, like the night of Hearts and Hooves Day, Rainbow Dash was ranting to me as she drank some water labeled Everfree Vodka….”
“And that is how you’ll lose your friends!” Rainbow wept as she drank more of the strange smelling concoction, “first the gorgeous one finds whoever ponies ship her with, and then the farm pony, your best friend, runs off with a Pegasus, a freaken Pegasus, because she thinks he’s cute and he likes her pies. But it won’t stop there, cause then you find that the colt you set your sites on was stolen by some egg headed bitch, and then you hear they got married at the bottom of a pit, and you know that not even a Sonic Rainboom could break that up…!” Rainbow bawled her eyes out in her stupor, stopping only to drink more of the strange water. “Then you see that you lost your friends to their relationships and you die alone. No friends at your side, nopony to give you love, just alone!” Rainbow Dash chugged more of the drink and wept before hugging her number one fan. “And that is why boyfriends suck!”
“To this day, I have not forgotten that wisdom. I refuse to let any colt break us apart before and after we get our Cutie Marks! I see you there, Button Mash! Sweetie Belle isn’t here, so you keep on walking! Apple Bloom, to keep our friendship alive, we must stay strong in the face of… Rumble I see you looking at her so turn your head!”
“So, this little nap will be kept between us?”“I will not tell anypony, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“Good. Hey, it’s getting late, mind escorting me back a little early?"
"No problem," Spike smiled, his mind on the photos that Celestia had taken. It should have been a short walk back to the hotel, with Spike trying to get information about Rarity out of Sweetie Belle. However, the two seemed to be going a bit slower than usual. He didn't pry too much and only got Sweetie explain that Rarity saw her life as a romance novel.
Rarity's life as romance novel. Spike could work with that. Two species forbidden to love by the laws of society, their friends and family trying to hinder their relationship… only nopony would actually care if a dragon and a unicorn got hitched. Hell, it would probably be seen as a Pegasus getting hitched to a griffin, and Celestia knew that barely anypony cared about that. Spike stopped when he came to the entrance of the hotel. “Here we are, safe and sound…. You’ll tell Rarity that I got you here safe and sound, right?”
"Yup!”
“Great!” Spike was about to go back to the castle when he remembered something important. “Oh, wait, Sweetie, tomorrow I won’t be able to hang out. Celestia needs a scribe for some summit and guess who’s lucky enough to be selected,” he sighed.
“Is he you?” Sweetie playfully answered.
Spike nodded. “Don’t worry though; I’ll make sure that you’ll be able to get inside the castle. I’m kind of a big shot with guards… probably heard about my deeds in the Crystal Empire.” He slyly bragged.
“Okay, but I’ll see you Friday though?”
“You can count on it! See you later!” Spike said as he walked away.
“Bye!” Sweetie called. Sweetie Belle went into the hotel and went straight to her room.
Later that night, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom finally returned to the room led by Miss Cheerilee. “Well, Scootaloo, I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear all about your misadventures this week and every insult you flung at Truffle!” She wanted to continue yelling, but only let out a sigh. “Just… both of you stay in your room for the rest of the day and be thankful that your little smoke grenade incident wasn’t mistaken for a terrorist attack!” Cheerilee slammed the door and went to her room.
“She’s got a point, Scoots,” Apple Bloom agreed as she removed her child leash. “Ah can’t believe you said that to Truffle.”
“It was for the best.” Scootaloo fell onto the floor and nearly passed out. “So, Sweetie Belle, how was your day?” She asked as she sat in a chair.
Sweetie Belle laid on the bed humming to herself. “It was good… I just spent the day with Spike.”
Scootaloo could feel that something was off. It was as if something felt lighter, more joyous. Jumping on the bed, she came face to face with Sweetie Belle. “Say Spike’s name again.”
“Spike,” Sweetie Belle said. The second she said the dragon’s name, a slight smile began to spread across her face.
“No,” Scootaloo uttered as she backed up. “You didn't, you couldn't have, I wouldn't let it happen!” She hit the wall as reality dawned on her. Her friend fell for a colt… drake. “Damn you…” Scootaloo fell to her knees and looked skywards. “Damn you SPIIIIIIKE!”
“Damn you SPIIIIIIKE!” The second Cheerilee heard those words she rushed out of her room and smashed open the door to the CMC’s room.
“What happened!?” She cried, rushing to Scootaloo’s side, checking over her to see if she was burnt or scratched.
“He did it, that monster did it!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she pounded against the floor. “He destroyed this group!”
As Spike ate dinner, he heard a loud shout, “Damn you SPIIIIIIKE!”
Shrugging, he continued to eat his pile of gems. When he finished he made for his room like no tomorrow. Unfortunately, this meant that he had to pass Celestia’s workroom. “And how was your day today, you little stud?” She smirked.
Spike cringed at the joke. “Please, Princess, she was feeling tired, I let her sleep on me. I thought it would help me with my chances with Rarity."
“Understood," Celestia nodded, "if you can’t have Rarity, her little sister must be the next best thing.” Spike groaned as he faced palmed. “So when’s the wedding? Should I get another dress for Sweetie Belle from my room?” Spike let out a louder groan before continuing to his room. Celestia let out a chuckle and continued to review her work. “Goodnight,” She called.
"Goodnight!” Spike sarcastically shouted back. “Wait!” Spike rushed back and stood under the doorway. “What did you do with the pictures you took?”
"Oh, don’t worry, they’re… safe,” Celestia grinned. Spike tried to think what safe meant, only to see the photo album marked Spike: Ponyville years. So that's what safe meant... well as long as both photos were in there, who was he to complain?
Rarity let out a sequel of delight, one that took the hearing of every pony in the room. "Girls, get Princess Cadance and an Equestrian Postal Service cart, because we are going shipping!” She cried, holding a picture of Sweetie and Spike in her aura. She turned to see her friends writhing on the floor, each holding their bleeding ears. “Ugh, come on girls this must be the 9th time this week I shattered your eardrums, just shake it off!”
Author's Note
That was both hard and very fun to write. Fun Fact: this is actually the longest chapter I have ever written, ever.
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Day 4 (Cheerilee's and The Cutie Mark Crusader's Day)
“I don’t get it, out of anything you could fall for, why a dragon?” Scootaloo asked. She had been walking back and forth for a good thirty minutes, interrogating Sweetie Belle about her ‘friend’. Scootaloo would have asked her about Spike the other night, but she went straight to sleep before she could be interrogated. “Out of all colts to go girly for,” Scootaloo said with a shudder, “what could have caused you to like Spike?! He is a librarian, a comic nerd, somepony that if he gets too greedy, turns into a monster! What on Earth is the appeal?!”
“I don’t like Spike like that!” Sweetie defended. “All he did was show me around and Canterlot Castle, nothing more.”
“Is that why you smile when you say his name!?” Scootaloo pointed out. Although Sweetie was smiling, the smile was barely visible. “Admit it, Sweetie; you’re in love with him!”
“I’m not! Scootaloo, I do not like any colts, or drakes for that matter!” Sweetie declared.
Scootaloo looked into Sweetie Belle’s eyes and saw a flicker of guilt, as if she was hiding something. “What are you hiding?” she whispered angrily. Sweetie did something, something she would feel anger towards. “What did he do?”
“He got me an awesome dress. I don’t know what else to say! Besides, how do you think Rarity would react if Spike and I dated?”
Meanwhile, in the city of Manehattan, Rarity had a conversation with Princess Twilight Sparkle. “Please?” She asked her friend.
“No.” Twilight responded.
“Please?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Please!? Twilight, come on! Look at the picture again!” Rarity levitated the picture and shoved it in Twilight’s face. “It’s my sister sleeping on Spike’s lap!” She turned the picture around took a quick glance at its contents. “And he’s blushing. Just do it!”
“Rarity, I am not going to make a love poison so you can force your sister and Spike into a relationship!” Twilight shouted.
“Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, I’m not forcing them together one bit. A lady does know her boundaries after all. I’m merely suggesting that we make them realize their feelings for each other they probably never knew they had, as we control things in the background without them knowing.”
Twilight could only face hoof.
“Let me tell you, she would be against it!” Sweetie declared.
“Sides Scoots, don’t you like a few colts? What about Rumble and Featherweight? Ya sure do act weird around them.” Acting weird was an understatement. Following Rainbow Dash’s drunken advice, Scootaloo had sworn off all colts. Every time either of the two came even remotely close to her, she would enter a rage mode and would then insult and yell at them in various ways.
“Yeah, I do, but you don’t see me flirting or even talking with them. I won’t be the reason we split up.” Scootaloo huffed.
“We won’t split up,” Sweetie Belle consoled. “Spike is in a meeting today so I promise you, nothing will happen between me and him. Besides, he’s just a really cute friend, cool friend… I meant to say cool friend…. I’m gonna go get my dress…. Bye girls!” Sweetie said as she quickly left the room.
Cheerilee was feeling this depressed. Cheerilee had felt down before, but this was different. She was beginning to feel empty, emptier than she had ever felt before. The more she spent time with her students, the less fulfilled she felt. Normally she wouldn’t be bothered by the thought, but then there was another feeling, loneliness. Sighing, she dragged herself out of bed as she did every morning and went to the lobby to collect her foals.
Her personal plan for this little field trip had been doomed from the start. She planned on at least meeting one stallion, but so far the only stallions she had managed to gain the attention of were guards, and that was because they usually needed to hand her a bill or two because her foals couldn't stay out of trouble for one single day! Her students... at the moment, she only felt distain for some of them. They were the reason that no stallion would notice her this week.
War Trotter sat reviewing the files of the foals that had attacked and beaten his troops, and the files of the attacked troops. It was overwhelming. How were foals no older than 10 able to take down his recruits? Their Cutie Marks said they were the best of the best, it made no sense. It was probably do to the training they received from the tactical master, Cheerilee. Somepony like her should have been on the guards watch list, but she probably used her temptress like charms to fool everypony that came near her, but he wouldn’t fall for her cunning tricks, he would stay vigilant and defeat her at her own game. It was funny really, if it were not for her students, War Trotter would have probably never even noticed her.
“She said he was a cute friend, Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo argued as the two entered the lobby. “Just hear me out; if we hurry we can probably break into the castle and save her from herself. Just look, it’s spreading!” Scootaloo pointed to the center of the lobby. For some reason, Twist was hugging Truffle Shuffle close, giggling as she did so. “This right here, this is what Sweetie Belle will turn into. She’s going to go all mushy on us!” As Scootaloo gave her third anti-love speech that morning, Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and left to congratulate Twist.
“Twist give Truffle some breathing room…” Cheerilee called. Twist ignored her. She seemed to hug Truffle even tighter, intent on snapping his spine. “It means stop hugging him!” Cheerilee forcefully yelled. Twist responded by letting Truffle go and moving just a few steps to her left. “Good, thank you.” Cheerilee took tally of the foals. “Strange, where’s Pip? Has anypony seen Pip?” She asked, looking around the room.
“I’m right here,” Everypony turned around to find Pip entering the hotel. It was like seeing a different pony for the first time. He was wearing thick dark sunglasses, a dark grey shirt and a jet-black over coat. His collar as popped up and he combed his mane downward so that it partially covered his glass’s left lens.
Cheerilee was taken aback by his new look, but soon found herself asking the one question on everyone’s mind, “Pip, what’s going on?”
“I’m simply following my path in life,” Pip answered. “You see, I’ve come to realize that the only true path to walk is the path of darkness. How fulfilled are we, Ms. Cheerilee? Do you think we actually care about what you teach us when you know that it will all be for not once we have obtained our Cutie Marks? Tell me, is this where you thought you’d be when you were our age? We act like we have friendship and love, but do we? Just look, you and me, we have nopony. Nopony to love us, to hug us, to be there when you have a creepy nightmare. Ponies like you and I have no pony but ourselves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to join my friends.” Pip flipped his hair and left to talk with Button Mash and Rumble.
“That’s not helping me.” Cheerilee muttered.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo watched as Pip walked past them. “Does Pipsqueak think he looks cool?” Apple Bloom asked.
“If he does, he shouldn’t. The Neo look was deemed uncool by Rainbow Dash one year, two months, three days, 6 hours and 35 minutes ago.”
“Do ya have a bible about Rainbow Dash?”
“Do you not?” Scootaloo asked.
“Okay everypony, let’s go, you all still have a class to attend,” Cheerilee called in a monotone voice as she walked torwards the hotel's entrance. For the first time in a long time, Cheerilee led her students without even trying to make eye contact. Pip had a point, what was her purpose? Everything she taught would eventually fade away into her students respective trades. She would just be another face out in the crowd, remembered as somepony that punished them on their class field trip. She was nothing. The only bright side was that after this sorry excuse of a vacation was over, she could retreat to her house for the summer. Just one more day of a lecture, a museum tour and a dance on Friday. “Oh sweet Celestia, the dance!” She nearly screamed.
While wallowing in self-pity, Cheerilee forgot to hire a DJ. It was still manageable though, all she needed to do was find a struggling DJ that could work on short notice. Cheerilee led her class into the School for Gifted Unicorns and brought them to Lecture Hall 374. Entering the class room, she quickly explained her situation to the hosting professor. The professor merely nodded, motioning her to go. “Kids, you behave for Professor Page Turner, and I will see you all in a few hours." Cheerilee left the room in a hurry, determined to finish her errand before her class did something illegal or worse.
As Cheerilee’s class took their seats, Page Turner opened his textbook. “Now if everypony would turn to page 60, we’ll talk about the history of explosives!”
Apple Bloom’s head shot up. Explosives. Cutie Mark Crusaders: Demolitionist. It was so simple, so obvious, yet it never once crossed her mind. Apple Bloom had a few seconds of explosive training the first day in Canterlot when she blew up a stockpile of weapons. With her help, the Cutie Mark Crusaders would be demolition masters by the end of the day. All she needed to do was talk it over with Scootaloo. “Hey Scootaloo, how hard do ya think it will be to blow things up… What are ya doin?” She asked, noticing Scootaloo looked like she was taking notes.
“I’m making a list of things I can do to break Sweetie Belle and Spike apart if they become a couple. Turns out a hatred potion is just as easy to make as the love poison we made a few months back.”
“Scootaloo, if ya can make a chart detailing this, why couldn’t ya help me and Sweetie out when we made that chart detailing the food chain?”
“Because, unlike that, this is important! Now, if Sweetie Belle saw Spike kissing Diamond Tiara, what would her reaction be?”
It was official, Cheerilee hated her life. It took her some time, but she had found a DJ. Unfortunately, that same DJ seemed to act like the world's most punch-able pony. “So, you think you can afford someone with my talent? Think you can waltz on in here, thinking that I’ll sell my soul for some cheap gig?” The DJ said as she spun around in her swivel chair. “Well, you thought wrong!” The mare said, stopping in front of Cheerilee. “I’m Vinyl Scratch. I’m awesome. I just hit my payday. I don’t need no teacher telling me what to do and I don’t care what your flier says!” Vinyl took the poster Cheerilee had obtained during her search and threw it in the trash.
Cheerilee merely placed a letter on the desk in retaliation. “When I came in, your doorman asked me to give this to you. I don’t know what it is, but the fact it says ‘Past Due’ can’t be good.”
Vinyl Scratch merely nodded as she moved the letter out of sight. “... Okay, so maybe I would sell my soul for a gig… what’s the pay?”
“550 bits.”
“1500,” Vinyl offered.
“675,” Cheerilee retaliated.
“1325?”
“825, Final offer.”
“Deal!” Vinyl shouted in excitement. “Okay, just tell me the time and place and I’ll be there moderately early, Mrs….”
“It’s Ms. Cheerilee,” The teacher said.
“Cheerilee, huh? Nice to meet you. B.T.Dubs, sorry for the way I acted, my first rule of DJing is making it seem like I’m unattainable."
"Does that not backfire?"
"Oh, no, it constantly does. It's probably why I can't make rent most of the times. My roommates keep telling me to stop, but you just have to go with your gut you know?"
"I do and the last time I've gone with my gut; I drank a love potion and nearly got married in a pit in the middle of an orchard. The first time I went with my gut landed me a job I am slowly starting to hate, and against a ratio of 0 to 2, I am going with my gut right now in hiring you."
"If it means anything, you're gut is not wrong this time, nothing I do ever goes wrong ever, you know besides a few business deal, but I can also say that nothing distracts me! Except my roommates…. but one has a late night show tonight so he’s sleeping and the other one…” Vinyl’s ears began to twitch as she turned around in her swivel chair. “You are freaking kidding me, she said she was going out.” Vinyl grumbled.
“Vinyl!” A mare called, barging in on the two. “What have I said about putting empty milk cartons in the fridge?!” The mare took a breath and calmed down just enough to not yell. “Vinyl,” She said, marching towards the unicorn. “I like to think of myself as an exceptional roommate. I always pay rent on time, I rarely get mad when you can’t cover the full rent and I have to chip in to pay, which is always! I didn’t become livid, when you told Neon he could stay with us, and I didn’t go off on you when you tried to have camera ponies film our lives for some stupid reality show. All I ask of you is one little thing, throw the milk out when it’s empty! Seriously, how hard is that…!? Who’s this?” She asked, finally noticing Cheerilee.
“Octavia, this is Cheerilee, Cheerilee this is my roommate, Octavia. Cheerilee is going to be helping me pay rent this month.”
“I get it, last minute wedding DJ, right?” Octavia asked. “Look, I know you think you want a DJ, but band is, what Vinyl would say, ‘where it is at’. I assure you, whatever Vinyl can play; a band could play it better.”
“Oh jump off a cliff!” Vinyl exclaimed, “My music is ten times more memorable than your prissy little orchestra! I can turn literally anything I hear into music and make it good!”
“Right, because everypony wants to hear ROMP, ROMP, R-R-R-R-R-ROMP ROMP-ROMP-ROMP!” Octavia said, mimicking Vinyl’s music.
“Dub-step is amazing and will never go out of style, unlike… LudWing Van Big-head!”
“200 years! The music of Ludwing Van Beethoven has survived 200 years!” Octavia argued. “Dub-step is just random sounds tuned to the same base line that, come a few years, will be forgotten like that Gun Gun Style Guy!”
It was not long before a stallion wearing thick shades walked out of a room rubbing his eyes. “Can you two stop fighting?! I have a late party tonight and I need at least some sleep… Oh, I didn’t know we had a guest,” The stallion paused. “Hi, I’m Neon Lights… I see you’ve met my roommates….” He extended a hoof, which Cheerilee took.
“Hi, I’m Cheerilee… And yes I have. They are interesting to say the least. You wouldn’t happen to be a DJ, would you?”
“Um… I am, why?”
“Well, the one I was hoping to hire is preoccupied at the moment,” She sighed. Seeing the two mares fighting like children began to give her a migraine. She rubbed the sides of her head, shutting her eyes tightly. The voices of the two mares raised in pitch until they seemed to match the tones of fillies that she would teach. For the first time in her life, Cheerilee felt like she was going to snap and do major bodily harm to the nearest child.
“Are you okay?” Neon asked, looking over the stressed mare.
“Hmm… Oh i-it’s nothing… I’ve just been thinking about my life recently and I keep thinking… where am I going?” She sighed as Vinyl’s and Octavia’s fight intensify. “I used to love my job. When I saw one of my students excel at a subject or show genuine interest in a subject, it gave me some joy… but now I just keep looking at the clock thinking ‘how long until I can go home?’ And when I look at my students, I don’t see bright incorrigible young souls, all I see now are kids that will move on to whatever their Cutie Marks tell them to move on to and I would have been a waste of their time. I just don’t want to be bothered anymore… with anything.”
“Do I know what that feels like,” Neon said, putting his arm around Cheerilee. “Look, I’ve been caught in a rut too. When I first started DJ-ing it was the best part of my life, but after like a year and a half, I began to feel empty and sleep deprived… then there were the hallucinations and other things….” Neon said reflecting on his personal demons. “Anyway,” he recovered, shaking his head, “I was stuck in a run-down apartment, I was up late all the time, everypony thought I was Vinyl’s sidekick, and the one mare I actually liked wouldn’t give me the time of day.”
“So how did you get through it all?”
“Well, one day, when I was contemplating quitting my job for the sixteenth-thousand time, I began to toy around with one of my old recording sets. What I didn’t know at the time was that I had left the window open. So, I was messing with one of my songs trying to make a decent remix and when I finished and played it to make sure it was tolerable, I hear a voice call out and ask if I could play another song. I look outside and on the sidewalk was a colt that had been listening to my remix. Seeing the kid happy just because I played a song was refreshing, probably because he didn’t need to be drunk to enjoy it. I’ve never forgotten that kid’s smile, and thanks to him, my love for music was re-ignited.”
“Wow… But wait, what about you being single?” Cheerilee asked.
“Oh, well, the mare at least knows my name… But I think she’s more focused on her than she is anything else.”
“Is it the unicorn over there?” Cheerilee pointed to Vinyl who was pretending to strum a violin.
“You’re not even mocking the instrument I play!” Octavia shouted. “It’s called a cello, not a violin and you could at least try adding a convincing sound effect!”
“I can’t, because whenever I hear your music, I fall straight to sleep! The only thing your instruments are good for is when I smash them after I drop the base!”
“I knew it! I knew you smashed my cello!”
“Sweet Celestia, no!” Neon said, urking a little. “Vinyl is like my sister. The thought of us is just… Ugh,” Neon shuddered.
“Hey screw you, tons of stallions want me!” Vinyl proclaimed angrily.
“Yes Vinyl, because stallions just love when a juvenile mare with horrible tastes in music leech off of them,” Octavia sneered.
“At least most of my boyfriends can stand to give me a second date!”
“As I stated before, I broke up with them after the first date!” Octavia shouted.
“Sure you did,” Vinyl sarcastically chuckled.
“Anyway, just don’t give up.” Neon told Cheerilee, getting the conversation back on track. “Now about this job you’re offering…. What is it exactly?”
“Don’t gig block me, you prick!” Vinyl interrupted as Octavia rolled her eyes.
“He’s not, I am,” Cheerilee told Vinyl, before returning her attention to Neon. “I need a DJ for a dance tomorrow that I have planned for my students,” Cheerilee explained.
“Wait, as in, music fit for kids? As in, a dance that would end at 11:00, at the latest?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’ll take it!” Neon shouted trapping Cheerilee in a tight hug. “Oh thank you! It has been weeks since I slept at night! Just pay whatever you feel is fit and send me the location; I’ll be there 30 minutes early to set up!”
“Okay… how’s 900 bits?” Cheerilee asked.
“900 is perfect!”
“900!? I was only getting 825, and that’s after I haggled!” Vinyl wined.
“Dear Luna, you can’t even argue without getting distracted!” Octavia groaned, winning back Vinyl’s attention. “Seriously, buy some Adderall, it’s cheap and it will keep you focused!”
“Yes, because being focused is the best thing ever, Mrs. So-Focused-On-Her-Job-Her-Cooch-Is-As-Dry-As-The-Freaking-Desert!”
“It’s not dry, and I’m not that kind of mare, Vinyl! I don’t need a stallion to make me feel good about myself!” Octavia said, turning red with embarrassment and anger.
“Right, which is why you have battery operated friends in your bottom draw!”
“Ignoring them,” Neon instructed Cheerilee, as Octavia began yelling at Vinyl about personal space and respecting the rooms and locked draws of other ponies. “Thank you for this opportunity.”
“No problem….” Cheerilee said as she began to head for the door. “Before I go though, how long will I be depressed about my lifet?”
“Oh, well it varies. You just need to remember why you’re doing what you’re doing,” Neon explained. “For me, I love playing music, and I’m happy when ponies enjoy the music I play. Sure I could do without the late nights, but if one pony that’s not too drunk can say he liked what I played, I’m happy.” Neon opened the door for Cheerilee, “Oh, and I’ll see you tomorrow at…?”
“8:00 pm, Marritrott conference room.”
“Great, see you then!” After Cheerilee left, Neon closed the door and attempted out the fire that was Octavia and Vinyl. “Hey girls can we just say that both types of music have their ups and downs?”
“This isn’t about the fucking music!” The two screamed in unison.
Cheerilee picked up the foals late in the afternoon and guided them back to the hotel. Although most of the foals were covered with ash, smelled of cannon powder, and part of the school seemed to be missing a wall, the professor, Page Turner, assured her that everything was fine and it was only to be expected. So, under his instructions, they were all off the hook and the damages were written off as an unfortunate accident.
With little to do, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom went to their room to relax after a long day at school and for Apple Bloom, mixing a bit too much explosive materials together. When they entered the room, Sweetie Belle was there on one of the beds, hugging a pillow close to her stomach as she buried her face in it. “Hey Sweetie Belle. So what happened with you ‘cute’ friend today?” Scootaloo asked.
Sweetie Belle mumbled something into her pillow.
“I didn’t quite catch that,” Scootaloo said. “Wait, did Spike break your heart?! Please say Spike broke your heart! Nod if Spike broke your heart! If he did, I will personally see to it he gets what’s coming to him.” Scootaloo excitedly declared. Scootaloo couldn’t help but imagine what Sweetie Belle would say after she kicked the stuffing out of Spike.
‘Wow Scootaloo, you were right about Spike,’ Sweetie Belle would begin as she apologize to her. ‘To think I was in love with him! If it weren’t for your words of wisdom, I think I might have made a mistake and gotten us disbanded, because like Rainbow Dash said, boyfriends tear friendships apart, and it must be true because Rainbow Dash is always right! You’re so awesome Scootaloo!" She would praise, after all, you had to be awesome to be Rainbow Dash's surrogate little sister. But Sweetie wouldn't stop their, she would continue by saying, 'Also you have a normal and healthy fixation with Rainbow Dash, regardless of what your parents, Rainbow Dash, and therapist say! Also, my sister stinks, so does Apple Jack! Rainbow Dash is the coolest pony in the history of ever!’ Scootaloo smiled as she patiently waited for Sweetie Belle to nod her head yes.
Sweetie Belle bit her lip as she reflected on the noon she had spent with Spike… She had been so nervous that it was close to embarrassing! He didn’t break her heart though, in fact, because of him, she was excited… Because he was such a cool friend and no. other. reason. Sweetie Belle shook her head no and tensed her body even more, as if she was trying to become one with the pillow.
“Sweetie Belle, you’re shaking your head no…. If you're saying he didn't break your heart then what happened?”
Sweetie mumbled something into her pillow.
“What?” Scootaloo asked, trying to make out what she was saying. “Oh I get it," she gasped, "he came onto you and you shot him down like a plane.”
“No… and I don’t want to talk about it. It’s stupid.” Sweetie Belle said, removing her mouth from the pillow.
“Sweetie Belle, whatever it is, ya can tell us, we promise, we won’t laugh,” Apple Bloom assured.
“Okay, but… can you promise you won’t get mad?” Sweetie asked.
“We promise,” Apple Bloom said.
“… I asked Spike out.” Sweetie Belle admitted.
Silence fell and the reactions were mixed. Apple Bloom only let out a sigh, knowing what would follow, while Scootaloo’s face twisted in a fit of confusion, anger, and betrayal. “Damn you…. Damn you Spike!” She yelled as she looked to the ceiling.
“SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT SPIKE!” a voice from the floor above them demanded.
Author's Note
Wow, that took waaay longer than it should have. But then again, I'm in college now, I can't help it if I get delayed. Anyway, hope you readers enjoy.
It was only the start of the fourth day of the school fieldtrip and already it had become the loudest. “He said yes!” Twist proclaimed, dancing around excitedly. Foals gave the filly room as she jumped in the air and spun around, landing next to her crush. “See this colt?” She proclaimed, pointing to Truffle, who in turn waved to the crowd in the lobby, “He said yes to go to a dance with me! In your face Diamond Tiara!” Twist began to giggle uncontrollably as she trapped Truffle in a tight hug.
Dinky smiled as she watched her friend. She wished she could be excited about asking a colt to a dance, but the goal seemed unreachable at this point. Two nights ago, Pip became unresponsive to anything but Cheerilee’s orders. Anything anypony else said to him seemed to go in one ear and out the other.
But as unattainable as the goal seemed, it would not stop Dinky from trying. She just needed a place to start. “Hey, Rumble good buddy,” She said as she tapped on the colt’s shoulder. “Have you seen Pip?”
“No, I haven’t.” He said, nervously looking around the lobby. “He left late last night saying that he knew what he had to do and hasn’t been around since!”
Dinky felt a pure rage begin to build. Rumble had let the world's most devastated colt out into the streets unsupervised. The worst case scenario was that he’s dead in an ally after jumping off a building the best case sceneario was that he was in an alleyway crying his heart out. She was going to murder Rumble… until the door to the lobby opened.
“I’m right here,” Everypony turned around to find Pip entering the hotel. It was like seeing a different pony for the first time. He was wearing thick dark sunglasses, a dark grey shirt and a jet-black over coat. His collar as popped up and he combed his mane downward so that it partially covered his glass’s left lens.
It took Rumble a moment to see what was happening, no, had happened. “I feared this day would come.”
“What day?” Dinky asked, her rage subsiding.
“The day one of my friends went emo. Look, Dinky, I know you like Pip and all-”
“What makes you say that?” Dinky laughed. “I don’t like Pip! I mean, he’s just like, he’s Pip!”
“Hearts and Hooves day last year, you were really not subtle when you gave him your card.”
“What do you mean ‘not subtle’?”
“You screamed ‘I love you’ at the top of your lungs. Most of the class knows you like him, except Pip himself... and Cheerilee is talking to Pip, that’s going to end badly.”
“Pip, what’s going on?” Cheerilee asked.
“I’m simply following my path in life,” Pip answered. “You see, I’ve come to realize that the only true path to walk is the path of darkness. How fulfilled are we, Ms. Cheerilee? Do you think we actually care about what you teach us when you know that it will all be for not once we have obtained our Cutie Marks? Tell me, is this where you thought you’d be when you were our age? We act like we have friendship and love, but do we? Just look, you and me, we have nopony. Nopony to love us, to hug us, to be there when you have a creepy nightmare. Ponies like you and I have no pony but ourselves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to join my friends.” Pip flipped his hair and left to talk with Button Mash and Rumble. Pip flipped his hair and walked over to Button Mash. “Hello, Button. Do your days still carry the illusion that there is some fantasy light to looks towards in this world?”
“I guess… is this cosplay? Cause if so, you are pulling it off flawlessly.”
“It is not cosplay, my naïve friend. I have merely realized that all the illusions we build, all the walls we paint, it will all come crashing down on us. You smile now in hope that somepony might care for you, but in the end, no pony will. Think about it, we’re born, live life as we fulfil some tramp stamp’s orders and in the end, die the way we were born, alone.”
“Wow, Emo Pip sucks,” Dinky said, thinking of plan to help the colt out. “Okay, his hearts been shattered, right Rumble?” She received a nod. “Great, I’ll swoop in like a vulture, tell him he’s loved and then we live happily ever after. Break!” Dinky tried to approach Pip, but was stopped by Rumble.
“Dinky, that is the worst plan I have ever heard. Pip does not need a savoir sent from heaven in his time of need. My brother says that if you ever comfort a mare, make sure you have a group of friends with you, otherwise they you’re just their rebound date.”
“And that’s a bad thing because?” Dinky did a circular motion with her hoof, asking Rumble to continue.
Rumble held his breath, before continuing. “Well, I don’t know exactly why, it’s just that Thunderlane constantly tells me that rebound couples hardly ever workout. I guess he just needs some support? I don’t know. But, I know one thing, Thunderlane would tell me that Pip does not need you, he needs friends.”
"I'm his friend!"
"Yeah, and I need you to stay like that. So Dinky, do not try anything, okay?”
“I guess,” Dinky huffed. “But, let’s say I-”
“No,” Rumble responded.
“But what if-”
“No.”
“But-”
“No, Dinky.”
“Ugh! Fine!” Dinky groaned. “I wouldn’t know how to win him over anyway…." She admitted. "So what do we do?”
“Well, if living in Ponyville has taught me anything, it’s that most of our problems can usually be solved like an animated show whose main theme revolved around friendship. So, we just need to show him he has friends!” Rumble declared.
“Wow, you must have been up all night, because that in no way sounds like the start of a poorly thought and executed plan. Please continue,” Dinky smiled.
“Good to know you agree. I think we should get Pip a small gift that lets him know we’re there for him. That will solve this problem. You wouldn’t happen to have a toy related to Doctor Hooves, would you? He loves that show.”
“Are you kidding me!? I hate everything about Doctor Hooves!” Dinky moaned.
“It’s ok, you don’t have to like it. Just take Twist and find a hobby shop of some kind. Hobby shop owners are usually nerds, right? Just ask about… I don’t know… a Sonic Screwdriver. Buy one, gift wrap it and then give it to Pip. Got it?”
“I don’t think a hobby shop owner is as good as the one stallion I probably need to apologize too,” she sighed. “Also, I’m pretty sure Twist isn’t going to help, she looks like she’s too busy hugging Truffle.”
“It does not matter if you bring Twist; just go get the screwdriver from somewhere while Button and I make sure Pip doesn’t go full emo. Good luck Dinky!” Rumble said as he ran to join Pip, Button Mash, and the rest of the class.
“Doctor Hooves, of course Pip likes Doctor Hooves, every colt the girls in my family date seem to like Doctor Hooves!” She grunted as she kicked imaginary dirt. “Ok, so if I were Time Turner, where would I go to fix a grandfather clock?” She stood deep in thought until it hit her like a sack of bricks. She just needed to find somepony that owned a shack with a blue door.
“So, Pip, I see you’re going with the emo look. How’s that working out so far?” Rumble asked, trying to strike up a conversation.
“It is wrong to think of this look or any look working, as clothes are only visual representations of our true emotions. As you can see, my emotions are but a dark void.” Pip explained. “You should realize that this pathetic little life is pointless. We live and we die, we are dust in the wind when it comes down to it. We will be mourned for but a moment when we pass. And when our loved ones pass and we ask if we’ll ever see them again, our only answer will be never more.”
“Wow, Dinky’s right. Emo Pip does suck….” Rumble said with a sigh. He could only hope that Dinky was doing a good job getting that screwdriver.
“Oh you have got to be kidding me, this is just desperately lame! Ga!” Dinky moaned before she banged on the 1:1 scale Tardis replica that served as an entryway to a shack. “Time Turner, get out here, I need to talk to you!” She stopped when she heard several locks click before the door opened.
“Well, look who came crawling back. Let me guess, you want to have a big heart to heart moment of clarity with me before I forgive you, right? Well jokes on you because I already forgiven you! So come on, give your surrogate bro a hug!” Time Turner said with open arms.
“No." Dinky said, "just no. First off, I already have a brother, remember? You met him when you wanted to ask my sister out.”
“Don’t remind me,” Time Turner shuddered. “I had to sit in a jar of jelly for 3 hours. I don't know why though.”
“He was testing your worthiness. Second, I’m not here to win you back, however, I do apologize. I’m here because I… I….” Dinky took deep breath. “I need your help. Do you have a Sonic Screwdriver? I really need one.”
Time Turner's perception of reality had just been shattered. Dinky actively taking an interest in anything related to the Doctor was nothing short of a dream come true. “Are… are you for real? I thought you hated Doctor Hooves.”
“I do, but as of right now, I really, no, desperately need you to give me a Sonic Screwdriver.”
There was a long silence between the two. Time Turner kept on playing back what Dinky said in his head. She desperately needed a Sonic Screwdriver. He would give one to her in a heartbeat, but first he had to be sure she was ready. “Dinky, do you know the weight of what you ask?” Time Turner finally asked.
“I don’t know. A fraction of a pound? It’s a toy screwdriver, it shouldn’t way that much.”
Time Turner motioned for her to enter the shack. When the two were inside, Time Turner sighed as he placed a hoof on the grandfather clock he had been working on. “Dinky the Sonic Screwdriver isn’t just a toy; it is a tool, a weapon. The Sonic Screwdriver is not meant to harm, but rather to fix and to repair. To wield such a tool….” Time Turner paused, on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry.” He wiped away the liquid pride and continued. “To wield such a tool is a humbling sensation that very few experience. It must never be used to close pathways, but rather to open them so that ponies like you, Dinky, can see the awe and wonder of time itself…! Also it makes a cool sound and lights up when you press a button.”
Silence fell once again, but this time it was Dinky who was left speechless. “… My sister is in love with you,” Dinky finally sighed. “Oh sweet Celestia, my sister is in love with you.” She rubbed her forehead, before speaking again. “Time Turner, I don’t care. I really don’t care. Also, I’m pretty sure your Doctor mostly uses his Sonic Screwdriver for breaking and entering. Thirdly, it's not for me. You see one of my friends went emo, and according to a poorly thought out plan, I need to give him a present to save him from the pit of darkness he’s in.”
“Oh, I get it,” Time Turner nodded. “Let me guess, heartbreak?”
“I think so,” Dinky nodded.
Time Turner nodded and opened his tool box. He took out a large copper and silver rod with a green light attached to the top. “Dinky, what I give you, know that it is one of the most important objects in existence.” Time Turner said, presenting Dinky with the awesome weapon that was the Sonic Screwdriver. "Dinky, this device has the power to open many paths, as stated before... but right now, it has the power to open and direct a colt’s heart."
"Yeah, got it, thanks," Dinky rushed as she grabbed for the screwdriver.
Time Turner pulled away at the last moment, before Dinky could grab it away from him. "Seriously, Dinky. If you say the wrong thing or present this in the wrong way, the colt could continue on his path of emo-ness. No, worse, say the wrong thing, the kid might fall in love with you!"
"That’s…" Dinky's expression jerked, thinking she misheard. "Time Turner says what now?" Dinky asked as the gears in her head began to turn.
"Well, in times a hearts break, colts become either extremely malleable or extremely hardened," Time Turner lectured. “Save them from their heartbreak in the wrong way, and they latch onto you like a Dalek’s plunger.”
“Interesting,” Dinky nodded. “The analogy made me want to bash my head against a wall, but that's beside the point....” Dinky took the screwdriver and began to look it over. “So hypothetically, this little toy could get me a boyfriend?”
“Yeah, but you really wouldn’t want that.”
“You say that, but then you don’t actually know that,” Dinky corrected.
“Dinky, do you know why your sister loves me and why I love her?” Time Turner asked, ready to get down on her level.
“Ditzy Doo has some really weird tastes in guys and beggars can’t be choosers?” Dinky said flatly.
“No, good joke, but no. It’s because we genuinely care for one another,” Time Turner explained. “I know that if I ever need someone to brighten my day or to hold close, Derpy is right there. And if your sister messes up and needs some comfort, I’m right there… I mean sure, Muffin Master usually comes on at the same time as Doctor Hooves, and I have missed who knows how many episodes, but I don’t focus on that because I love her. Do you understand?”
“Totally,” Dinky lied. She didn’t even attempt to understand what he was saying. “Well Time Turner, if you’d excuse me, I have a colt to win over… to the side of harmony, yeah, that's it, harmony.” Dinky grinned as she tossed her newly obtained Sonic Screwdriver into the air. “See you next time you’re over for dinner!”
“That’ll be Monday! See you then!” He waved. Time Turner smiled as he watched as Dinky innocently trotted away, humming happily to herself. “That’s going to be my little sister one day,” he chuckled. Could he ask for a better one? No, he couldn’t. Dinky was so innocent and kind and understanding, he loved everything about her in a very platonic way. Sure she said some hurtful things, constantly pointed out the flaws of the most awesome show ever made, but he was willing to overlook that because Dinky was naturally goodhearted.
“My Little Pippy, My Little Pippy, gonna get a boyfriend manipulatively,” Dinky sang as she toyed around with the screwdriver. Maybe Doctor Hooves wasn’t so bad after all. Thanks to that show, she was about to get a boyfriend.
Dinky had some time to kill before the class came back from their little field trip, so what could she do in the meantime? Lunch? No, she would do that with Pip, her soon-to-be boyfriend. Perhaps she could go shopping for her brother and sister. No, the muffins here were deemed too expensive and gaudy by Ditzy. Maybe if she could find a large enough jar of jelly she could get something for Jelly Doo. Of course, he was very picky when it came to jelly, and refused to look at jam. So whatever she bought would probably end up in the dumpster, or Jell Doo would burn it at the stake for spreading heresy.
As she contemplated what to do, she bumped into the stallion. Dinky tumbled onto her haunches, while the stallion stood, glaring at her. “Sorry about that,” the stallion said in a monotone voice. He helped Dinky to her hooves and picked up the screwdriver with his magic. “Huh, I’ve seen this before; this is that thing that my friend can’t shut up about. A Sonic Flashlight, right?” He asked handing the screwdriver back.
“Good name, but no. It’s called a Sonic Screwdriver, or in this case my golden ticket!” She giggled.
The stallion’s brow raised, “Golden Ticket?”
“This baby is going to open up a lot of pathways for me,” Dinky said with a wicked grin. She didn’t know why she was telling some random stallion this. Maybe it was just because she had committed the perfect crime had to tell somepony so she could get it off her chest, or perhaps she was just too happy to think straight.
“… Look, I know you’re young, and probably watch a lot of T.V. but you do know that breaking and entering is illegal, right?” The stallion asked.
“Not those kinds of pathways,” Dinky smiled.
The stallion looked over the filly and laughed as he shook his head. “You’re about to get a colt, aren’t you?” He chuckled.
“What?” Dinky gasped too loudly to be taken seriously. “Just because I have something that’s from some T.V. show, you think I’m going to use it to get a boyfriend? Is that what you think a sweet, innocent filly like me would do?”
“Yes,” the stallion nodded. “Let me guess, he’s in his emo phase, he’s spouting crud about darkness and life being meaningless, and you plan to swoop in like an angel from above,” He stopped as Dinky rolled her eyes. “And you have heard this speech before, right?”
“These things might be true… and the 'no don't do it' speech might have come up before….” Dinky admitted.
“Thought so,” The stallion said. “You hungry? I’m about to get lunch and would not mind the company.”
Dinky thought it over. On one hoof, this guy could be a predator, on the other hoof, he was a unicorn stallion with dead emotionless eyes and a flat facial expression, so one utter for help and the guards wondering the streets would take him down faster than he could say, ‘no, it’s not what you think’. “… I guess, but just know, I have mace,” she lied.
“You won’t need it.” The stallion led her to a small café and the two were seated immediately. “Coffee and Hot Chocolate,” The stallion ordered. “Are you okay with hot chocolate?”
“I guess,” Dinky shrugged.
“Cool. Now, this colt, what’s he like?”
“Small, energetic, fun, likes to play pirates, helps me with math, need I say more?”
The stallion shrugged as a coffee mug was set in front of him. “Just your plan… I mean I already know it and I know the speech that others have given you. Let me tell you right now, they’re all wrong.” Dinky perked up. “Yeah, let me say this with absolute certainty, you and him will make a great couple. It will be blissful for a while, you’ll have disagreements, but you’ll work through them.”
“Is this supposed to discourage me?” Dinky asked. “Cause what you’re describing sounds awesome!”
“At first, it is. It’s the most awesome thing in the entire world,” Stallion said as he took a sip of his coffee. “And the colt will thank you. He’ll want to make sure you never hurt or feel pain like he did. It’ll be like one of those bat pony romance movies that you fillies seem to be into. Now, for the other speeches you heard, did they go in depth of how it will end?”
“Not really, they just said don’t do it cause it won't work out, no other explanation. Why is it worst-case scenario with everypony? I already know every relationship I take up has a chance of heart break,” Dinky groaned as she was given her cup of Coco.
“That’s just it, for you there is only a small chance of heart break.”
“Come again?” Dinky asked as she sipped her Coco.
“The colt, whoever he is, will wake up each day after a certain point and he’ll see you differently,” The stallion explained. “But he’ll brush it off the first few times, after all you’re his angel, you saved him from the pit of despair he was in. But one day, it’ll be clear as day to him. He does not love you; after all, what is love anyway? He’ll ponder it, but he won’t come up with a definitive answer. Thing is, he also wouldn’t dare end it with you. He knows too well what heartbreak is like and doesn’t want you to feel it. Of course, it’s moronic to say this is always the case. After all, love works in ways I can’t hope to understand. But usually, the colt will just sit there, hoping that he’ll wake up one day and poof, he feels those loving feelings again.”
The stallion paused to take another sip of his coffee. “You love him after all. That is, until you go through the same thing. And that is why you shouldn’t toy with him, not yet at least. He won’t hurt you, but there is a large possibility you will hurt him. Maybe he'll be relieved or maybe he'll take it worse than when you found him. Again, ponies work in ways I don't understand. Now I know what you’re thinking, what do I know about any of this? Let me say, I talk from experience, I’ve talked to ponies about this, hell, you can say looking at love logically and giving advice is my bread and butter.” The stallion admitted. “But the fact of the matter is you run the risk of messing the colt up beyond belief with each move you make.”
The stallion paused and took anouther sip of his coffee. “So my advice, let his heart heal and strengthen. Let him learn; help him learn that when it’s not there, and I mean when it's obviously not there, he has to cut those ties. Let him see that not only does he deserve better, but he also needs to let you find somepony you deserve, somepony that will love you, somepony better than he is… But then again, what do I know, right? After all, I’m just some random unicorn you bumped into on the streets.” The stallion finished his coffee and placed a few bits on the table and got up. “Here, order something for yourself, my treat. Just remember what I told you, okay kid?”
"Wait, I don't get a name? Seriously!? Come on, I hate mysterious stranger type ordeals! At least let me know your Cutie mark or backstory!"
"If I see you again, I'll tell you everything, okay?" The stallion said with a soft chuckle.
“Fine,” She huffed as the stallion walked away. For a little while, Dinky sat in silence. “Right, like I would mess Pip up,” she mumbled. Dinky ordered a chocolate éclair and had a nice snack before returning to the hotel.
It was late in the afternoon when the class returned, and Dinky was waiting in the lobby with the screwdriver.
“Great!” Rumble said as he approached the filly. The fact she managed to get a screwdriver was the best thing that happened that day. Most of the day had been listening to Pip's view on the pointlessness of life. “So what are you going to tell him? Did you get that guy you got the screwdriver from to write some don’t feel bad about yourself Doctor Speech?”
“Not really,” Dinky said as a smirk of pure evil spread across her features. “I was just going to tell him how much he’s loved... by me.”
Rumble’s once joyous expression began to fall as he put the pieces together. “No, you wouldn’t. I told you not to!”
“Yeah, you did… I think.”
“Y-you think? Weren’t you listening?” Rumble asked.
“I was, but you did a poor job at explaining why I shouldn’t use this to get Pip to love me. I don't know what Thunderlane said exactly, for all I know, you miss heard him! So, thinking about this logically, this is all your fault. I’m just a victim of circumstance,” Dinky excused.
“I did a great job of telling you why you shouldn’t do it!” Rumble defended.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Dinky said.
“Back to the point! I can’t allow you to do this Dinky, if you force my hoof and I will stop you!” Rumble threatened.
“You’re adorable," Dinky said.
“Really? Cause let’s face it, I’m stronger, faster, and I control the weather! What can a unicorn filly with no magic do against a Pegasus that helped make a tornado?” Rumble asked, slightly pushing Dinky back as he tapped on her chest.
“… Oh come on Rumble, Truffle Shuffle isn’t fat!” Dinky said loudly. Almost instantly, Twist came out of nowhere and tackled Rumble. It took less than five seconds for her to start putting him into submission.
“How dare you!” Twist screamed as she punched Rumble across the muzzle.
As her friend did her dirty work for her, Dinky lifted the Sonic Screwdriver with her aura and proceeded to look for Pip. It was just too easy. Her journey was just smooth sailing from here on out. “DINKY!” The filly heard her name called. She turned to see Button Mash approaching her. “I heard everything, and I agree with Rumble!” He said. “Your somewhat, but not really that evil as much as it is manipulative plan ends here! I’ll show you what the hero of Minecraftia has to say about-”
“Hey Button Mash, is that Sweetie Belle making out with that dragon guy behind you?” Dinky interrupted.
Instantly Button Mash turned around and surveyed the area. “Where!? I don’t see her!” He screamed in horror as he looked for Sweetie Belle and the dragon guy. Button had been infatuated with the filly for a while now, though he never actually took a single step forward with admitting his feelings for her. In fact, most of the time, he just screamed ‘Minecraft’ and then ran away. He would be darned if he lost her to a dragon.
“But I was so sure I saw her! Maybe you just need to keep looking Button. I’m sure you can find them and steal her away from him,” Dinky lied.
“Okay, thanks Dinky!” Button Mash said as he continued to search for the non-existent couple.
With that five second road block out of the way, Dinky continued her search. Looking around, she saw Pip, clad in black cloth; entering an elevator and heading upstairs. She entered the second elevator and hummed along to the music as the elevator brought her up to her prey. When the elevator stopped at the correct floor, she saw Pip at his door, placing his key card into its slot. She hid the Sonic Screwdriver behind her, hoping to surprise him with it. “Pip!” She shouted as she ran towards the colt.
Instantly, the colt turned around. “Ah, Dinky, I see you have come to-” Dinky pressed her hoof against his lips, silencing him.
“Save it… and take those glasses off,” She commanded as she took Pip’s shades off. “Look, I know that you probably went through something painful, but you can’t let that get you down.”
“Really?” Pip sarcastically commented against her hoof. “Do you know what it’s like to have no love, from anypony? To have no pony? To have the pony you devoted yourself to tear your heart to shreds!?”
“Enough with Emo Pip!” Dinky loudly begged. “And you do have love, you have m… you have m… you have m….” As hard as Dinky tried, for some reason she couldn’t say ‘me’. What could be stopping her though? It was three little words, what was stopping her?! She gave it some thought, and realized what was holding her back. It was the random stallion’s words of wisdom. She tried to ignore what he said, but soon saw, in a small way, that he might be a very small fraction of a percent right. She inwardly screamed not to, but she knew what she had to say. She was going to regret this.
“Look, this is going to sound like some after school special, so bear with me.” She said. “You have a lot of love Pip,” Dinky began again, “because you have many friends. Sure, there might have been a filly or mare that didn’t like you, but let’s face it, you probably weren’t what she was looking for, and given some time you probably would have found she wasn’t what you were looking for.”
“But how do you know that?”
“I don’t,” Dinky said. “But I do know that if those feelings are truly, 100% not there, they aren’t there. The thing is, you shouldn’t let that get you down. It would be a crime to lead somepony as cool as you on. If they don’t love you, the way you love them, you can’t let them letting you go hurt you so much, because they know you deserve better and they probably just want you to be happy. Now, going against every fiber of my being, my advice is that you give yourself time to heal.”
“You’re going to remember this heart break for a while, but if you ever find yourself dating later on in life and you find that you don’t love her like you should or you don’t love her the way she loves you, and you know that it's impossible to love her like you should, then don’t focus heartbreak that comes from a break-up. Instead, focus on what you able to find after the break-up." Dinky said. "If you don’t feel those feelings towards her, then she deserves better, you both deserve better! And when you feel heart break, never go Super Emo. Mainly cause it's not attractive, but also because you’re never alone. Just look at all the ponies you have to lean on. You have Rumble, me, Button Mash, Twist, me, Truffle… maybe, Apple Bloom and her friends if you want your cutie mark, me, Snips and Snails but only if nopony else is available, your parents, did I mention you have me?”
Pip nodded.
“Good, now lose the emo look, I think you maybe starting to bum the class out.” Dinky pulled the Sonic Screwdriver from behind her back and gave it to Pip. “Here, Rumble, Button Mash and I chipped in to get this for you… I chipped in like 50, maybe 65 percent, not that it’s too important, I’m just saying.”
Pip looked over the toy. It was a limited edition replica Sonic Screwdriver that the 11th Doctor used. He had always wanted one. The 11th Doctor was his favorite of all time. He just couldn’t believe it, his friends actually gotten one for him. “Wow, thanks Dinky…” He said as his smile and original, non-emo hairstyle returned. The more he reflected on the speech, the more his happy-go-lucky demeanor returned. “Your right… Thank you.” Just then, from the elevator, Rumble dragged himself to the room, bruised and broken.
“Pip, don’t do it! She’s manipulating you!” He cried.
“Oi, Rumble what are you talking about?” Pip asked.
“You don’t have love from just her; you have a lot of ponies that care about you! You have me and Button Mash-”
“I know, that’s what she said,” Pip interrupted.
“Of course she said…! She said.... what?” Rumble asked, obviously delirious from his injuries.
“Rumble, are you okay?” Pip asked. "You look like you went through Tartarus.”
“I… I thought she was going to make you fall in love… manipulatively….” Rumble murmured.
“Actually, thanks to her, I think I might take some time off from even thinking about relationships, after all, I’m like ten. I might as well just play with my friends and my new Sonic Screwdriver!” Pip declared as he held up his new toy, pressing the button on the side. He let out an excited squeal. “It even makes the cool sound it does on show!”
“Yeah, it does… so how long is this relationship break going to last?” Dinky asked, “I know you need time to heal and all, but give it too long and you’ll turn stone cold…. You only need like a day or two, right?”
“I was thinking a few weeks actually. Thanks again Dinky, for the speech and the screwdriver.” Pip gave her a hug, which she reluctantly melted into.
“It was no problem Pip,” she said with a whimper. “No Problem…. ” Pip let her go and went into his room.
“You didn’t go through with it,” Rumble said in amazement. “Wow, that’s a relief!”
“Stop talking, I’m regretting it more and more each minute,” Dinky admitted.
Pip came back into the hallway with three bags packed with coats, shirts, and several pairs of dark sunglasses. He had been restored to his original happy self. “Come on Rumble, Dinky, let’s return theses clothes and get my money back! Geronimo!” He said as he used his screwdriver.
Just then, Cheerilee passed the group with Twist following closely behind. “Do I even need to tell you how much trouble you are in?” She asked Twist, who carried a look of shame.
Dinky cursed herself as she watched her friend led away. “Hey Pip, can I call in a favor, as a friend?”
“Sure love, whatever you need!”
“I’m going to have to punch you,” She admitted low enough so only Rumble and Pip heard it. “Twist shouldn’t go to that field trip alone tomorrow. Sure she has Truffle, but I think she could use a friend.”
Pip turned his left cheek to her. “Here, this is my bad side, swing away!” He offered.
“You are going to make some filly… hopefully me… very happy one day. HEY MS. CHEERILEE!” Dinky called, earning the teachers attention. She swung with all he might, nailing Rumble in the side of the face.
“You said you were going to punch Pip!” Rumble wept as he held the side of his face.
“I did, but then I thought, I don’t want to punch Pip, I like Pip! I’ll see you tomorrow,” she told Cheerilee, who stood speechlessly in the center of the hallway.
Meanwhile, Button Mash sat in the lobby, searching for Sweetie Belle and the dragon guy. “You know what? I’m going to look for one more hour, and then I’m going to my room…! Make it two hours, just in case."
Author's Note
The Final Part of Day 4. Enjoy!
Just a quick question, is it wrong that I love writing Dinky the way I write her? Anyway, this is the picture that is the very base of my head canon for Dinky Doo's Family.
Sweetie Belle woke up early like she had done everyday prior. However, today her face felt warm. Sweetie Belle quickly walked into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Both her cheeks were bright red. From previous experiences, bright red cheeks could mean one of two things. The first being that she was sick, and needed to spend the day in bed. The other reason was a that she had a dream that raised a red flag. She hoped it was the former. She dug through her toiletry bag and pulled out a thermometer. Placing the device under her tongue, she found her temperature was an underwhelming 97.1. “Oh no….” She said with a whisper. The cause of her blush was the dream she had. Last night, she had a dream about Spike. However, it was not romantic.
It was just a dream about the two of them having a friendly picnic on top of a hill, under the shade of the tree. Afterwards, they watched the sunset, as friends do, with Sweetie Belle’s head resting on Spike’s shoulder in a very friendly manner, which ended with her kissing him on his cheek. However, the kiss was a friend kiss. What followed was Spike smiling and then planting one on her lips in a very passionate, yet friendly, manner.
“Stupid Spike!” She forcefully whispered. She fell for a dragon, the one thing she said she wasn’t going to do. This wouldn’t had happened if he wasn’t so nice to her these past few days. Showing her the best places in the city, and rescuing her from Blueblood like some knight in shining purple armor. This was all his fault… and that dress he got her didn’t help either! The worst part was she was still excited for her date with him tonight, if it could be called a date. She let her head fall against the counter as she let out a sigh.
“Hey Sweetie Belle, nice to see you this morning!” Scootaloo smiled.
“Scootaloo, if it makes you feel any better, I made tonight a friend date,” Sweetie Belle said with her head still on the counter, hoping Scootaloo didn’t see her red tinted cheeks.
“Just hear me out. I’ve been thinking, you naturally falling for Spike is impossible, so that only leaves one explanation; love poison.”
“Scootaloo, stop,” Apple Bloom called from her bed. “She already told us that she made it a friend date, not a date-date… Ya are sure you didn’t make it a date-date, right?”
“I must have said the word friend at least three times when I asked!” Sweetie Belle declared.
“…. Is he holding somepony hostage? Did he capture Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo asked. “Sweet Luna, he did, didn’t he!?”
“Scootaloo, just calm down, there ain’t no date… fer most of us anyways,” Apple Bloom said, as she came to drag Scootaloo back to her bed.
Scootaloo seemed to stare into space for a short while until her face lit up like Las Pegasus at night. “I got it!” Scootaloo cried. “He’s blackmailing you!”
Everypony let out a groan.
“What?” Scootaloo asked, sounding offended.
“As much as I would love to be asked the same question over and over, I have to get ready for today,” Sweetie Belle said as she took her toothbrush from her bag.
“Just do me a favor, do not fall for him!” Scootaloo cried.
“… Too late for that,” Sweetie Belle murmured.
“Come on I need to get going!” Spike begged as an aura held him in place. “Please, Princess, Honey Suckle, have mercy on a poor dragon’s soul!”
“Spike, you’re being fitted for a suit, don’t be dramatic about this,” Celestia demanded.
“Besides, shouldn’t you look your best before you sweep a girl off her hooves?” Honey Suckle asked.
“Why does every mare I meet keep saying that!? I. Do. Not. Like. Sweetie Belle.” Spike firmly stated.
“Right, you only got her dress, you’re going to a school dance with her, and you pretty much spent the whole week spoiling her. You clearly hate her. Now hold still, this suit needs to be perfect.”
Sweetie waited around in the lobby for a good half hour for Spike, but he didn’t show up. Maybe it was for the best; after all, if she was having feelings for Spike, maybe it was best to avoid him. Actually, maybe that wasn’t the best answer. Spike was at Rarity’s house most of the time, so there was a high probability that she would run into him sooner or later. She needed help, real help, unbiased helpful help, she needed….
“Button Mash,” Sweetie Belle said, shaking the sleeping colt.
“Oh, hey,” Button said, barely awake. He had stayed in the lobby the entire night, looking out for the dragon guy and Sweetie Belle, but he had no luck finding either of them. Fortunatly, years of playing video games with a bunch of farming quests had given him an iron will to stay at a task, no matter how much of a delusion it was. “How’s it going?”
“Good. Can I ask you something? Say that I like this guy, but I don’t want to like him the way I do, in fact I want to stay friends, what should I do?”
“Well, that’s a stupid question,” Button Mash stated. “If you want to be somepony’s friend, be their friend, no pony says you have to date them. Those feelings you have are probably just a small crush, don’t put too much emphasis on it. Just enjoy the time you do spend with him. However, on the off chance that there is something there, I say go for it. Who knows, maybe he likes you just as much. He’d be a moron not to. Sure, there are something’s some ponies might dislike about you, but overall, you’re a sweet filly who’s super cute. He’d have to be blind not to like you. Just remember, friendship first. So go out there, and be his friend.”
“Wow, I was expecting something a bit more… nonsensical. Thanks Button!” Sweetie said before leaving the hotel to find Spike.
“Goodnight, Diamond Tiara,” Button said as he leaned the side of his head back on the receptionist desk.
“Wow, Button that was really mature of you,” Rumble said, having heard everything. “Seriously, that was awesome! I thought you wanted Sweetie Belle all to yourself, but look at you, you practically told her to go out with another colt.”
Button Mash’s blood shot eyes shot open. “What did I just do!?”
“You gave Sweetie Belle awesome advice on her guy trouble. Unbiased advice at that. I thought you were going to tell her to date you to make her crush jealous. Boy was I wrong…. Button? Where’d you go?” Rumble said, looking around the hotel lobby for Button Mash.
“No! Sweetie Belle, wait!” Button Mash screamed, running out into street. “I was lying! Date me to make him jealous! Make him jelly!” He screamed at the top of his lungs.
Scootaloo watched as Sweetie Belle left the hotel. “Applebloom, you’re going to stay single for a while, right?”
Applebloom sighed as she repeated the same answer she had said many times before. “Scoots, ah will not leave ya even if ah do get a boyfriend.”
“You are not answering! Just tell me!”
“No, you’re freaking out over nothing! Come on now, we’re going to be late. I bet you anything that if we’re good this time, Ms. Cheerilee will probably not tell our families everything.” Applebloom rushed ahead, leaving Scootaloo behind in her state of worry.
Scootaloo gave chase, unwilling to give up. “No! I’m already loosing Sweetie; I don’t want to lose you too!”
“You are not losing us! Just stop with yer insanity for three seconds!” Apple Bloom demanded. “Look, I don’t wanna answer yer question, is that such a crime?”
“It is if you’re seeing a guy! Just-”
“No! The answer is no! Look Scoots, ah’m yer friend, but if you can’t respect ma decision for one messily second, then why don’t you just leave me alone?” Apple Bloom groaned.
“What?” Scootaloo asked.
“Leave. Me. Alone.” Apple Bloom repeated. “Ah’m about to have ma family breathen down ma neck when we get back, and ah don’t need a forth pony adding to it! So, until this field trip is over, leave me alone and don’t talk to me about dates! Ah’ll see ya later.” She said walking off, leaving behind a devastated Scootaloo. Broken and probably friendless, Scootaloo joined every foal as they gathered around their teacher.
Cheerilee did a head count only to find that something was terribly wrong, almost her entire calls was gathered in the lobby. “What’s going on? I didn’t punish half of you,” She said.
“We know,” a colt said. “The city is just really boring.”
“Yeah, there are too many ponies here.”
“I get lost twice per day!”
No. This couldn’t be happening. She needed some piece today! “I hear your concerns but I will tell you all that this is the last day of the field trip. Meaning it’s the last day for anything fun. Although I cannot demand that you all leave and avoid your punishment, I can say that I will face away from you all for a few moments. If you so happen to run away, I will do nothing to chase you down, nor will I tell your parents, as I will most likely forget that you ran away. Who knows, if you run away, maybe I’ll sleep this week off like a bad hangover and nopony will hear anything.” Cheerilee turned around for a full minute, praying that her kids could prove that they weren’t bent on having her quit her job. She turned around and nearly wept. “Why is everypony still here?”
“The city is really, really boring,” Tootsie Flute clarified.
“Just… no pony blow anything up,” Cheerilee sighed.
“No promises,” Apple Bloom retorted.
The class began to leave, forcing Rumble to drag a weeping Button Mash alongside him.
After joining Page Turner’s class, both groups went to the Princess Museum, a very old museum that for some reason, dedicated itself to detailing the lives of the princesses new and old. For Scootaloo, it was a chance to talk to a Princess that confused her greatly. “The CMC is finished,” Scootaloo said, looking at the wax figure of Princess Cadance. “You said love brings ponies together, but I just lost all my friends to love. Why are you so cruel?”
“You make this too easy, I don’t even know where to start,” a voice said from behind Scootaloo. It was Diamond Tiara, the meanest, most spoiled filly in the entire nation. Actually, since meeting a few fillies from the School of Gifted Unicorns, that title was up for debate. Diamond smirked evilly as she strode over to Scootaloo, “First off, you must be really lonely if you have to make friends with a wax figure. What’s the matter? Did Apple Bloom’s southernisms overload that little brain of yours?”
“No! She said that I should leave her alone for the day, so that’s what I’m doing… not that you care….”
“Apple Dolt disowned you? This I have to hear! Did she finally realize that you’re a loser and decided to ditch you to save what little dignity she had left?”
“No! She over reacted! I was just worried because Sweetie Belle seems to be falling for Spike, he’s the dragon that lives with Twilight, and so I was really worried because Rainbow Dash said once that once my friends got boyfriends, I was going to die alone because relationships suck! What’s worse was that when I confronted Apple Bloom about her love life, she didn’t want to talk about it. Of course, being as awesome as Rainbow Dash and caring about my friends, I decided to keep on asking and so she over reacts and-”
Diamond Tiara began to laugh hysterically. Scootaloo stood in shock at first, but the feeling soon turned to anger. Of course, she would laugh at her. She opened up to her worst enemy and Diamond Tiara merely laughed at her. What else was a spoiled little brat supposed to do? Taking pleasure in her pain, typical Diamond Tiara. “What’s so funny!?”
“Y-you make it too easy!” Diamond Tiara wheezed. “P-please, tell me there’s something else I can add to the list!” She gasped as she began to laugh again.
“List?” What list was there? All Diamond Tiara ever listed was the Cutie Mark-less foals in their class, and Scootaloo already knew about that list.
“The list of what makes me better than you and those other black flanks. First I’m prettier than you, next I’m more talented, smarter, more creative than you are, and now this? Thank you, oh thank you, you four legged chicken, for proving not only the above, but for also allowing me to see that I’m a better friend than you!”
The statement threw Scootaloo through a loop. Diamond Tiara thought she was a better what now? “What do you mean you’re a ‘better friend’ than I am?”
“Exactly what I meant. Add better listener to the list.” Diamond Tiara stopped laughing and regained some of her composure. “When Silver Spoon has the courage to ask one of her bi-monthly crushes out to Sugar Cube Corner, do you know what I do? I tell those colts that if they break her heart for the wrong reason, I break their legs. I have had to give that speech more times then I care to count, but what do you do? Squeaky Belle, not so shockingly, sets her sites on a weird little dragon, and instead of making sure he treats her the way she should be treated, you’re not only off sulking in the corner caring about nopony but yourself, but you start pestering your other friend about her love life until she leaves you. It is hilarious!” Diamond Tiara said with an evil grin.
She shot her a smug grin before continuing. “The funniest thing is though, is that you worry about things that could never happen in a million years, all because your overrated role model said they might; it’s soooo pathetic. You three a practically welded together. The only reason you would be scared would be if you’re a little control freak that can’t stand when your friends have thoughts of their own! So you know what? Go ahead, call me a selfish, spoiled, mean little filly, but you can also add good friend to that list.”
Scootaloo stood in silence as Diamond Tiara walked off. Did she just make sense? Worse, did she have a point? Was she being selfish? Should she support Sweetie Belle in her quest to get Spike? Should she have been fine with Apple Bloom’s answer? Two voices sounded off in her head, one was of Rainbow Dash, the other of Diamond Tiara. One snarled and spat angrily, demanding Scootaloo do as it said like it was a demon attempting to possess her. That one was Rainbow Dash’s voice. Diamond Tiara's voice was smoother, if not a little more sarcastic and challenging. “… Frack,” Scootaloo sighed. “Diamond Tiara’s the voice of reason this time.” Scootaloo sighed as she headed towards the door. She had to make things right, even if they were never really messed up to begin with.
“Halt!” A high-pitched voiced colt demanded. “Under command of my teacher and Ms. Cheerilee, I say none shall pass…! Until we finish our tour of the Princess Museum.”’
“And who are you?”
“I’m a hall monitor,” the colt explained.
“… You know what? I really don’t have time for this.” Scootaloo sighed. There was one thing she knew about guys, they couldn’t resist a challenge. She inhaled deeply before shouting loudly, “I bet my class could take on Page Turner’s class!” That one statement was like unleashing all of Discord’s power at one time… or at least that’s what she expected. Instead, the colts of both classes began to laugh.
“Seriously Scootaloo?” Snips chuckled. “Are you that desperate to see us fight each other?”
“Such a poor manipulation tactic,” a colt from Page Turner’s class added.
“Seriously, I’ve seen better strategies from the noobs on Starcraft,” Button Mash added.
“I don’t know whether I should laugh at you, or hug you knowing that you’ll never going to live this fail down,” a colt laughed. “How weak do you think the bonds we share are?”
“You see Scootaloo, we all learned something today,” Pip began. “We are only as strong as our bonds with one another. Just look at me. My emotional state was like a roller coaster the past two days, but my friends stood by me, because they cared. They gave me the strength to get better.”
“We are all friends here, and friends don’t let petty things get in the way of what’s important,” a unicorn colt said. “For you see, without friendship, life is just not worth living. Sure, you may have small disagreements, but look at FPS and Button Mash over there,” he said pointing to the two colts. “FPS really likes First-Person-Shooters, and Button Mash likes Minecraft and RTSs, but instead of hating each other, they sat down and listened to each other’s opinions. In doing so, I think it’s safe to say, they discovered a rare, but bountiful type of magic. In fact, I think we all have!”
“It’s the magic of friendship, and once you have the magic of friendship, nothing can destroy it, not even a pony like you.” A colt triumphantly declared.
“I think we all know why she failed truly failed though. It’s ’cause we all know who’d win, right guys?” a very girly sounding boy’s voice asked.
“Well, yeah,” Snips chuckled.
“Of course,” A colt form Page Turners class agreed.
“My class,” every single colt said in unison. Silence fell as the colts locked eyes with each other.
“I’m sorry, it sounded like you just said you guys would win,” Shady Daze said, glaring at a few of the colts.
“Come on Shady,” Button Mash said, getting in front of his friend. “Let’s not let our egos tell us what to do.”
“Oh look, a Minecraft player that hates a challenge, what a shocker!”
Button paused as he turned to face the colt that spoke. “Excuse me?”
“Well, I’m just saying that real gamers don’t need to play sandbox games. Real gamers actually enjoy a competition,” The colt said as he walked up to Button, showing him no respect.
“Oh, right, because Demand of Army is such a good game. Tell me, did they release a new game yet or did they just re-release the same game like the last fifty times?”
“At least my game has a story. Tell me, did anyone else waste their lives building something from a fantasy world?”
“Don’t challenge me! I’m a gamer with nothing to lose! My love interest probably made out with another colt, I literally having nothing to live for!” Button Mash threatened.
“Bring it, NOOB! Smash! You and me! Kirby VS Kirby!” Slowly more and more arguments grew until it reached the boiling point. All it would take was one shove and chaos would erupt, starting a war between the two classes. That shove came in the form of Apple Bloom, who fell to the ground with a thud.
“That’s it!” Shady Daze shouted. He tackled the colt in front of him and the war began. All around there were colts punching, biting, and slapping each other, or in Button Mash’s case, getting out his Joy Boy, linking up to another colt’s Joy Boy, and having a match in Smash, five stock, all items on.
Pip was punched across the muzzle, but he quickly regained his footing and was about to strike back, but Dinky intervened and began to pound the colt that dare hurt her Pipsqueak.
Snips and Snails fought valiantly… against each other. “Get off me Snails!” Snips demanded as Snails did nothing but hold his friend in a headlock. “Come on, headlocks are so cheap! Plus you’re bigger than me!”
Rumble tried his best to fight back, but alas, being at the bottom of the totem pole meant that he was destined to fail. Three colts ganged up on him and began to mercilessly pound him. “Button Mash, help!” Button ignored him though, as he was launched into the sky yet again because his opponent kept spamming down + B, the cheapest of Kirby’s moves.
The sound of screams and violence filled the air. “And with that,” Scootaloo took the hall monitor by his sash and head-butted him, knocking him out. If worse came to worst, she’d blame it on somepony else. “Wait,” She said realizing one of the most important things she had to do. “Apple Bloom!” She called as she ran into the war zone. She quickly found her friend and helped her to her hooves, “Apple Bloom, I’m sorry and you were right, I was being paranoid. I shouldn’t have acted like that. You and Sweetie Belle are my best friends and I should take into consideration how you guys feel.”
“Did Rainbow Dash tell you that?”
“No, you’re probably not going to believe this, but it was Diamond Tiara.”
“Yer right, I don’t believe that.” Apple Bloom.
“Anyway, date whomever you want, just as long as he makes you happy. Now I have to get to Sweetie Belle. Stay safe!” Scootaloo said as she ran to the door.
Apple Bloom took it for what it was worth. Considering Scootaloo was willing to start a war just to say sorry, really said something. Sure, Scootaloo could have just said sorry to her, and then apologized to Sweetie Belle later that day, but it was the thought that counted. If she was being perfectly honest, she was out of line with what she said to Scootaloo and didn’t really mean a word of it. “I forgive ya, Sctoots!” Apple Bloom called.
“Thank you!” she called back as she left the museum.
“So anyway, if you’re really looking for a date, I know this one guy in the science department, a little nervous, but he’ll loosen up once you get to know him and…. Wow.” Page Turner could only watch at the magnificent display of violence and discord that the foals crated.
It was like watching Discord handcraft a scene were the line between friend and foe was blurred. Everywhere he looked; there was one colt or another having his face slammed against a wall or the floor, fillies argued about petty things, which soon escalated to mass of girl fights. The only three to be spared was a silver filly hiding behind a much more dominate pink filly that wore a tiara, and the filly that blew up his classroom yesterday.
Cheerilee simply stared on in horror. She could argue that Page Turner’s class started the brawl, but she knew she would be wrong. “I… I don’t know what to say,” She admitted. “I must look like a horrible teacher.”
“No,” Page Turner consoled. “You could have hoped to stop this; It was bound to happen.”
“Really? Bound to happen? How so? No offence, but my class doesn’t exactly look that violent.”
“I know that,” Page Turner chuckled. “No foal looks violent. This is just what happens when you fill a room with a gifted class with a class of losers.”
“I suppose s…. Wait, what?”
“Well, my class is from the school of gifted unicorns, the top school in the nation. If it weren’t for Princess Twilight urging Celestia to allow your class visitation rights, I don’t think your foals would be able to catch a glimpse of the school. Look at them! Most of them lack cutie marks and those that do have them are left low paying jobs.”
Not wanting to fight and desperately wanting to follow Twilight Sparkle’s examples, Cheerilee tried to ignore the blatant insult and proceeded to kindly explain why her students did have futures, even if they weren’t they weren’t part of the .1% of Equestria.
“Well… With all due respect, Feather Weight has really turned the Foal Free Press into something to worth reading with Shady Daze. Although he’s not the brightest of my students, I find myself going to Snips whenever I need my hair trimmed and styled. Diamond Tiara can lead a group of foals to success on anything, and Silver Spoon knows exactly how to calm anypony down as if she’s their own mother. Sweetie Belle’s voice could probably charm a raging monster, Scootaloo does amazing tricks on her scooter, and Apple Bloom is a pro carpenter, they just need to realize it. Sure, they probably wouldn’t get into to your school, but who does? Last time I checked, your school only takes 25 students per year! Do you even take Earth Ponies and Pegasi?”
“We take on 27 students, and no, our school name should make that obvious. Look, all I’m saying is that you shouldn’t set the bar too high. Just look at that retard, where do you think he’s going in life?” He asked, gesturing to Snails.
“… I’m sorry?” Cheerilee said as a rage began to build.
“Right, my mistake, that ‘special’ child. Seriously, his cutie mark is a snail, is his talent being slow? What can you do with that?” He laughed.
It was at this moment that Cheerilee had epiphany. It was what Neon Light’s had described the day before. She remembered why she taught. It was to give her students a chance. A chance to grow, a chance to learn, a chance for somepony to believe in them when utter jackasses like Page Turner wouldn’t bother with students he didn’t see as the cream of the crop.
She taught to provide a future for kids because they were worth the effort! However, she also had another epiphany, one telling her that the magic of friendship didn’t exist, and that the only true magic was the magic of kicking the crap out of the stallion that just called one of her students a retard. “Stallions that want to be savagely beaten say what.” Cheerilee quickly stated with a smile.
“What?” Page Turner asked. Cheerilee gave Page Turner a swift kick to the groin. The professor fell to his side as he softly moaned in pain. Cheerilee began to kick Page Turner with all her might, ignoring any pleas to show him mercy. Soon, everything went dark. When Cheerilee came to, she didn’t know how much time had passed, but considering that Page Turner’s snout was bent in a way she didn’t think possible, it was probably too long.
There was a sudden crash as a large group of guards rushed into the room lead by the current captain, War Trotter. “Men, take care of the children, I’ll handle the mare,” he said with a growl.
“Wait, Sir, before we go, I have to ask… don’t you think it’s weird that we’re doing this? We’re the military,” A cadet said. “Shouldn’t we let the police handle this?”
“Do we even have a police force? Cause I thought that we were the police force,” another cadet said.
“I have question, if we are the police force, then what about towns like Ponyville? When I visit my sister, I never see any guards or law enforcement in uniform. Do the ponies there just trust that there are no psychos or murderers around, or is it just the honor system where if you say you’re not a psycho they just take your word for it? What happens if there is a murder? Do they just ask everypony ‘did you kill this guy?’ and just expect everypony to answer truthfully? If so, how many unsolved murders are there?”
“I have a question!” A third cadet raised his hoof. “When Nightmare moon attacked, why did we do nothing? Unlike this, that seemed like an instance that should require military action. What if Princess Twilight and her friends failed, were we just supposed to shrug and say ‘Welp! All hail her majesty, Nightmare Moon!’?”
“We have the steam engine and video games, but Dodge Junction has never even heard of indoor plumbing, does nopony else notice the anachronisms of this country?” Another cadet asked. “I know it has nothing to do with Military VS Police, but buck it, I’ve noticed for too long and have never said anything about it!”
“Has nopony noticed our win/lose ratio with foals this week? I feel like this will end very badly.” A stallion stated.
“Can none of you focus?!” War Trotter shouted. “Look, I know that some things don’t make sense, but buck it, we live in Equestria! We just ignore those things! Who cares that we never see police, or if we are the police, or if the police and military are one in the same? Who cares that we constantly just leave the fate of the whole world to at most, nine ponies. So what if we’re supposed to be a medieval society that for some reason has both flash lights and oil lanterns? We are ponies damn it! Magical, talking, technicolor ponies!”
“I guess, but that makes for a very poor argument,” a cadet claimed. “If we just ignore things, does that not just make us ignorant?”
“Isn't ignorance bliss? Just look at the time Discord took over. For us, it was horrible, but talk my kid and he’ll say he’s still waiting until the magical sugar rainclouds come back.”
“For the love of…. Can we just do as we rarely do, and bring order to a situation?!” The command was met with numerous murmurs of doubt. “Anypony that follows my lead will be taken out to drinks tonight.” There was a sudden spike in moral as the guards all rushed forward. However, the moment the guards stepped into the line of fire, it was a slaughter.
The savage foals somehow over took the guards in mere seconds. The two guards that tried to pry apart didn’t even know what happened to them, but somehow they found themselves pined to the ground as a third colt assaulted them. Feather Weight, despite his size, somehow K.O’ed three guards with the help of Shady Daze.
The Unicorns from Page Turner’s class showed just as much ferocity, using advanced spells and hexes to overtake most of the guards. Seeing it as a potential lawsuit, most of the guards ignored the fillies.
By luck or by skill, two guards managed to apprehend Button Mash and Rumble, while the colt Button Mash was playing against ran away. The two guards slammed the two against the floor, putting them in a daze, before cuffing their hooves behind their backs. “So does this mean we’re the best guards ever, or does this mean we just don’t suck?” One guard asked the other.
“Considering that every guard here is being taken down by ten year olds, I’d say that we’re about top ten.”
War Trotter, wanting to drink heavily after seeing ten year olds beat his battalion at a ratio of 54:2, focused on the mastermind behind this incident, Cheerilee…. Who was he joking? There was no mastermind or supreme strategist. If anything, this was just his solders suffering from Storm Trooper syndrome. The students were the teddy bears and his troops were the super advanced, highly trained soldiers, and for some odd reason, the former was winning. Still he had a duty to do, and that meant prying the mare off the stallion…. He was actually impressed that Cheerilee was able to make a muzzle bend that way, or a leg. He didn’t know a leg could bend that way.
In a weird way, he found the mare somewhat attractive, most mares he knew never showed this much ferocity or passion, and he found it strange and exotic. Talk about dead on arrival though. ‘Oh hello Ma’am, I’m going to arrest you. BTW, do you want to go out for coffee later?’ It sucked but it couldn’t be helped. “Ma’am, step away, from the stallion!” He said, grabbing Cheerilee’s shoulder.
The teacher turned faster than he anticipated, her hoof outreached. She made contact with the captain, the force of the hit sending him to the ground. Many thoughts rushed into War Trotter’s head, but all he could do was touch the part of his muzzle that the teacher had hit as his face turned a deep red.
Cheerilee was speechless when she realized what she did. She just assaulted an officer of the military or perhaps the law…. She didn’t know. Either way, she probably committed a felony. She should just quit now because the Teacher Association of Equestria was going blacklist her when they found out about this. No, she was doomed from the start. The second Apple Bloom caused an explosion she should have just gone back to Ponyville.
Seeing their C.O. in trouble, the two guards that apprehended Button Mash and Rumble tackled Cheerilee and cuffed her. “Three for three, we’re awesome!”
Meanwhile, one of the unfortunate guards mustered the strength to slam on the emblem that laid in the center of his chest armor. The emblem was enchanted for one purpose; it would act as an S.O.S. Once used, the emblem would send the troops’ location to a stallion who was only to be called when no other option was available. After seeing such horrors, it was time to call that stallion.
A stallion wearing a black overcoat, a buckle and an emotionless flat expression entered the museum only a few minutes after the call was made. As an earth pony, the School for Gifted Unicorns didn’t hold much weight with him, however, this was a call he couldn’t ignore… literally. He was certain to be fired if he didn’t respond to the call.
Entering the museum, he did not know what to make of the scene. He would say he was shocked, but then he would be lying. He had a simple solution to this, something that would get the foals under control in less than ten seconds. The thing that bothered him was why none of the other guards tried it. “Who wants a piece of candy?” The guard asked loudly.
The entire room stopped. Most of the guards looked on in awe as the earth pony continued talking to the foals, calming them without moving an inch. “Will the foals that want candy please dispel any spells or hexes they have effecting any guards and sit down in a quiet, neat circle,” the stallion demanded.
Instantly, the children did as asked. Soon there was a circle of 57 foals, waiting to receive a treat from the stallion. “And would the guards please release those two foals that are cuffed? They’re children, not criminals,” Button Mash and Rumble were both released and joined the circle. Most of the foals carried several bruises, but overall, the injuries could have been worse for them.
“Okay, now if every foal and the stallions I reluctantly call guards will follow me, we are going to take a short trip to the castle… while that teacher takes a quick trip to the hospital...” he said, gesturing to the ravaged Page Turner. Almost robotically, the foals and guards followed the stallion to the nearest exit. “You coming War Trotter?” the stallion asked.
“Yeah, I’ll catch up. I’m just really comfortable right now, so I’m going wait here… until I’m not as comfortable,” He said as he kept his hind legs closed. When everypony, especially Cheerilee, left, War Trotter looked down at his waist. “… Down boy.”
Sweetie Belle waited. Spike was being fitted for a suit for the dance, and she was forced to wait outside until he was finished. Of course she was given a special privilege. She was allowed to go anywhere in the castle, except the fitting room and the dungeon. If she wanted to, she could visit the gardens or even the hedge maze. She could raid the kitchen for snacks and not get in trouble. Of course, if she were even slightly overweight, Rarity would shun her. If she really wanted to, she could see the throne room and take the time to memorize each stained glass window a thousand times over. Sweetie Belle was a simple pony though, she decided to go into the gardens.
It was calming in the garden. Sweetie Belle sat watching the animals go about their peaceful lives. A few even acknowledged her presence and some were bold enough to get close to her to see if she was a threat. Of course, she came prepared. When a bunny or a bird would get close enough, Sweetie Belle would spread some food, earning their trust and even getting to pet them, before they got board and went back to burrows. For once, everything seemed peaceful, until Scootaloo tackled Sweetie Belle.
“Sweetie Belle, thank goodness! Okay, I got maybe five seconds, so here we go. I’m sorry! I’m sorry for acting the way I’ve been acting these past few days. I should have considered your feelings, and supported you in any decision you made whether I like it or not. If you want to date Spike, I will support you. I just want you to be happy!”
“Oh, wow, thanks… not sure why you apologized, but this is good. What about what Rainbow Dash said?”
“In this one instance, she might have been less right then she usually is,”
“You mean she was wrong?”
“No, Rainbow Dash is never wrong.” Scootaloo stated. “she was just less right this one time. Now, brace yourself, the guards will be here any second.”
“Guards?”
Almost instantly, three guards tackled Scootaloo and began to unleash high level restraining spells on the filly. A fourth guard jumped in seconds later, binding Scootaloo in a strait jacket and muzzling her. “Holy crap… we did it, we took her down!” The guards began to cheer and celebrate, hi-hoofing each other over the unlikely victory they had obtained.
“What…. What?” Sweetie asked in shock and confusion.
“That filly just took out five guards,” A guard explained. “Apparently, she goes into a Saddler Rager type rage if you say that some mare named Rainbow Dash is wrong. Now, the threat has passed, we’re all safe. Come on boys.” The guards collectively dragged Scootaloo away leaving Sweetie Belle to wonder one thing, where was Scootaloo’s cutie mark?
The stallion wearing the black overcoat knocked on the door to the fitting room, waited a second, and then barged in, not bothering to wait for a response. “Celestia, we just arrested 59 foals and a teacher. I released two on the account that they wouldn’t last two hours in juvy, so… Yeah, I am not wasting my time anymore than I already have. They are now your problem,” He said, leaving the room.
“Who the hell was that?” Honey Suckle asked.
“…. The only guard capable of pulling what he just pulled,” Celestia answered.
“Why? Is he like stronger than you or something? Did he defeat you in combat?” Spike asked.
“Good joke,” Celestia chuckled. “No, he can do that because he has the one thing many ponies, including Twilight, lack: common sense. If you’d excuse me, I need to take care of this.” Celestia trotted to the detention wing of the castle. To her shock, Cheerilee sat in one of the interrogation rooms. Celestia opened the door to see if what she was seeing was real. She was, it was the teacher hosting the dance tonight. She stared down at the table, a well of shame mixed with content filling her eyes. "You’re that teacher War Trotter keeps talking about…. Excuse me, I need to get something,” Celestia said with a smile.
Cheerilee was not expecting the Princess herself; in fact, she was expecting some type of law enforcement. The best she could do now was grovel and hope she would be banished to some far off land and then thrown into a dungeon in the place she was banished to. She held her breath as she waited for the princess to return. After a short while, The Princess returned with a folder and a lit candle.
Placing both items on the cold steal table, Celestia opened the folder and began to skim its content. “So, you kicked the crap out of one of my teachers. Not only that, but you seemed to have backed hoof my new captain of the guard. I didn’t even know War Trotter could be backed hoofed. So let’s cut to the chase, this folder alone, this single folder, this file containing a very detailed report, can put you away for a long time. If anything were to happen to it, I could only assume that the story my guards tell me are lies. Lies told by embarrassed guards that want revenge.” For some reason, Celestia turned around and looked at the wall. “You know, this is a nice looking wall, I could stare at it long enough so a teacher could burn a file.” she vocalized.
Was she serious? Was she honestly saying to burn the file? No, this had to be sometype of entrapment technique, a way for Celestia to add more time to her sentence. Cheerilee resisted the urge to destroy the evidence, she wasn’t about to become more of a criminal than she already was.
Celestia turned around. “Hmm. Well, good thing nothing happened to that file. I would lose any reason to punish you if anything happened to it.” Celestia picked up the file and began to wave it around sporadically. “This file is super important, you know?” Celestia stopped waving the file just above the candle’s flame, allowing it to catch fire. “Oh no! The file!” She said in an over dramatic fashion. Her horn lit up, and the fire grew in size, reducing the file to ash within seconds. “Whelp! I just lost everything! Looks like I can’t keep you or your foals here. Too bad.”
“Princess, I’m afraid I don’t follow. I assaulted a stallion, and I would happily do it again,” Cheerilee said.
“You did. You assaulted the most tribalist teacher I know. One that I want to fire, but can’t because he’s literally the best magic teacher there is. A teacher who, thanks to a spirit of chaos, will think he was attacked by a manticore. Now you just go ahead and host that little dance you had plan.”
“How did you-”
“I have my sources, now run along. You don’t want to disappoint those foals of yours.”
“But they caused a riot; I don’t think a dance is-”
“You know what? I am going to be straight with you,” Celestia said with a firm glare. “You will have that dance.”
“I… I just think-”
“Listen here; I have missed most of my son’s his young life. It’s safe to say, that he doesn’t even know I am his mother. So you can bet that I’m not losing the chance to see him off on his first date to who I guess will either be my former student, her mother, or her moronic prick of a brother that stole two irreplaceable moments with my son from me ! So you can either have the dance, or you can enjoy a one way ticket to the sun, are we clear?”
“Transparently,” Cheerilee fearfully answered.
“Good.” Celestia said, returning to her usual calm domineer. She did not enjoy that one bit, but it had to be done. “You and your students are free to go. Don’t worry about the guards; they won’t even remember anything from this past week once the help is done with them.”
Discord and his daughter, a pink filly named Screwball, wore black three-piece suits as they stood in front of a mass of guards, holding a small liver cylinder. “Gentlemen,” Discord began, “for the sake of this reference, I am Agent D, and this is my partner, Agent S. This silver rod is a neuralyzer. I ask that you all look at the center red piece.”
“Daddy, can’t you just snap your fingers and wipe their minds?” Screwball asked.
“Hush, Screwy. Daddy has wanted to do this for a while now. Either way, we get three hours to cause chaos in Manehatten,” Discord said as he pressed the button on the rod and a bright flash lit the room. “Okay, gents, what day is it?” Discord asked.
There were various responses. A small percent, including those assaulted by Scootaloo, Pip, and Diamond Tiara, said it was a week ago. Others merely cursed when they felt wedding earrings on them, wondering if they got drunk and hitched to some random mare in Las Pegasus the night before, which according to them was three years ago. Some asked where they were and what their names were. Many couldn’t even remember if they were male or female. “I think we might have over cooked some of them… and possibly ruined a few marriages and lives….” Discord sighed. “Okay, if you think Twilight Sparkle is a princess, leave. The rest of you, we are going to try this again.”
“And. We. Are. Done.” Honey said as she carefully finished her adjustments. “You can take-” Before se could finish, the suit was carelessly thrown on her face as Spike rushed out of the room. “…. Wow, thanks Honey. It’s nice to know that I have someone like you to make my suits for me at no cost,” Honey said, imitating Spike's voice. “Oh, no problem Spike, I actually enjoyed putting off some of my other jobs to make you and your girlfriend those clothes. No problem what so ever.”
It always helped Sweetie Belle to talk about her problems with ponies. Whether or not they were actually ponies didn’t matter, what mattered was that they listened. For her, the only animal that didn’t get bored with her after she fed it was a small porcupine. “So he’s really nice, and I don’t know why, but he looks super cute in an oversized top hat… I still think I should take Button’s advice, but what do you think I should do?”
The porcupine blinked.
“What’s his name? Spike…. No he’s not a porcupine, he’s a dragon.”
The porcupine blinked.
“No, Blaze is not a cool name for him,” Sweetie Belle answered.
“Hey, Sweetie Belle!” Spike called as he slid to a stop. “It’s over, it’s finally over! The fitting is done! Who’s this?” He said, pointing to the porcupine.
“Oh, Spike this is Spines. Spines this is Spike, he’s the dragon I was telling you about.”
The porcupine blinked.
“Hush you,” Sweetie said. “So Spike, now that you're done, what are we doing today… and can Spines come?”
“Um… I don’t know, whatever you want I guess…. And why not? He isn't permanent though right? I can only imagine what Rarity would do if you showed up home with a porcupine in your bag."
“It is safe to say that our current relationship will not last past today,” Sweetie Belle answered. “And I do have one idea, but you have to promise me you’ll do it, no matter what.”
Spike shrugged. “I promise. So what are we doing?”
Spike made a mental note that would stick with him forever. Always ask what you’re agreeing to before you say yes. He had spent the past hour making various food for Sweetie Belle, himself, and Sweetie Belle’s new friend, Spines. He didn’t know why but, Sweetie Belle seemed to be happier than usual. He supposed it was her new friend Spines. Somehow, Sweetie Belle was able to translate the porcupine's blinks, much like how he was once able to translate his own pet’s squawks. Still, Spike noticed the look Spines was giving Sweetie Belle was weird. It was as if the porcupine was trying to say, ‘nice job sticking to that one kid’s advice’ in a flat and highly sarcastic manner.
Spines blinked.
“I know,” Sweetie Belle whispered, “But come on, the opportunity presented itself. What was I supposed to do? Not have Spike make us a fantastic lunch in the manner that’s similar to the dream I had?” The question seemed to answer itself. “Okay, you’re right, but it’s not like I’m using his shoulder as a pillow!”
Spines blinked.
“It doesn’t matter if I want to, so long as I don’t do it. Besides, you don’t see a tree on a hill that overlooks a sunset, do you?” Sweetie asked as she took a bite of her sandwich. “And I don’t see you complaining about the berries he got you.”
Spines could not retort. His berries were good, and he would not trade them for anything. The only thing he could do was change the subject. Spines blinked.
“The dance? Oh, it’s not for another… Spike what time is it?” Sweetie asked as Spike passed her a carrot cupcake.
“I don’t know, I thinks it’s about 2?” Spike shrugged.
“Not for another six hours… well, four,”
Spines blinked.
“You’re not a girl. You don’t know how long it takes to get ready!”
“It shouldn’t take more than thirty minutes.” Sweetie Belle turned to see Scootaloo and Apple Bloom.
“You guys!” Sweetie Belle squealed. She trapped her friends in a tight hug. “I thought you two were in trouble… along with half of our class.”
“We were, but then the whole class got arrested, then we all got released, and fer some reason, none of the guards remember Scoots assaulting anypony. Not even the guards she assaulted.”
“It’s like I have some guardian angels watching over me that can magically wipe minds,” Scootaloo stated. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom sat down with Spike, Sweetie Belle, and Spines. The foals spent the remainder of their time talking and enjoying the food Spike provided. Sweetie Belle introduced her friends to Spines, who Scootaloo said would make a cool pet. “It would be awesome!” Scootaloo stated. “You could train him to shoot his spine and chase away ponies you hate!”
“That sounds kinda stupid,” Apple Bloom deadpanned.
“That sounds awesome!” Spike disagreed.
“So are you keeping him?” Scootaloo asked Sweetie Belle as she picked Spines up.
“Um… I don’t know. How would Rarity act?”
“Better than my mom would!” Scootaloo said. “Seriously, she won’t me or my dad do anything! ‘Oh, that’s not lady like, you need to walk like this!’” Scootaloo mocked. “‘No, no, no! This toy is much more dignified for a lady to play with, put that down now!’ Then there was this on time, so annoying! ‘Scootaloo put that pin back in that grenade, now!’”
“Wait, you have parents?” Spike asked a bit surprised.
“Of course I do!" Scootaloo said, taking offense. "Just because you don’t see them doesn’t mean I don’t have them. It's not like we can’t all be birthed by royalty. I’ve been meaning to ask, now that Twilight’s a Princess, does that make you a prince?”
“I don’t think so… last I checked, I don’t think it extends to assistants.” Spike answered.
“Wait, assistant? I always thought you were her brother or something.”
“She hatched him Sweetie Belle. Twilight’s his mom,” Scootaloo said.
“Let me break this up, Twilight is not my mom,” Spike said.
“Told you,” Sweetie Belle smirked.
“Sorry, but she’s not really my sister. I mean, she’s like my sister, but it was never like Twilight’s relationship with Shining Armor….”
“Wait, then who’s your mom?” Scootaloo asked.
“Scoots!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“What? It’s a fair question.”
“… I don’t exactly have one,” Spike murmured.
“How do you not have a mom?"
"Sweetie!" Apple Bloom said, mortified she would ask a question like that.
"I'm just asking! What about Twilight’s mom?” Sweetie Belle asked Spike. “It’s not like she could ignore you, right?”
“She didn’t ignore me, but it’s complicated. Do you guys sometimes get hugs from your family but they give you this half hug because you probably annoyed them or they feel angry?” The CMC nodded. “I only got those types of hugs, but they feel really halfhearted. I also get these weird nuzzle hugs from Princess Celestia, but that might be because I'm here to help her.”
“So what, you only quarter hugs? Wow, even I get full hugs, and I disagree with my mom on everything!”
“I just met Spines, and we’re on the level of full hugs,” Sweetie said, while Spines rested on her head.
“Can we please move on to another topic?” Spike asked.
“That’d be fer the best,” Apple Bloom agreed. “So what’s y’all plan for tonight?”
“Avoid all colts!” Scootaloo stated.
“Dancing,” Sweetie said, glancing at Spike as he placed the last of his snacks on the blanket. “What about you? Do you have any plans?”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “None worth mentioning.”
“So, just a question, I’m I going to be the only guy there with a filly?” Spike asked.
“Well, Twist is going with Truffle and that’s about it,”Scootaloo stated.
“Speaking of tonight, ah think we should start heading back. It’ll take some time fer Scootaloo to get ready.”
“I will fight being put into a dress to the death,” Scootaloo stated.
“Okay, I’ll see you guys later ,” Sweetie Belle smiled as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo left, leaving her and Spike, but mostly Spike, to clean up.
After Cleaning up their mess, Spike and Sweetie Belle came to the fitting room where Sweetie’s dress was kept. They both entered the room, only for Spike thrown out. “You. Wait. Outside.” Honey commanded as she slammed the door shut.
Spike sighed as he picked himself up and rested next to the door. Two hours must have gone by and the only pony to even try to acknowledge him was Princess Celestia. She was on and on about the way to treat a filly and other things that Rarity had already lectured him about. “Now, when you dance with a filly, you have be mindful of other couples and her hooves, do not step on her hooves. Just do what you’d normally do when you dance with a filly… and I’m not talking about that shuffling you did at the wedding.”
“If I can’t do that, then how are Sweetie Belle and I supposed to dance?” Spike asked.
“… Spike do you not know how to dance properly?” Celestia asked.
Spike merely shrugged. “I was going to ask Rarity to teach me some time in the future and-” Celestia covered his mouth stood up, and knocked on the dressing room door.
“Excellent timing, she’s ready. She has a porcupine glued to her leg, but other than that I think she looks good.” Celestia walked past the mare and sat down next to a dressed Sweetie Belle.
“Hotel Name and Room number,” she demanded. “You’re not in trouble, I just need to know.”
“Marritrott, room 2415,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Okay, good. Spike will pick you up at 7:45.” Celestia’s horn lit up and there was a bright flash. Sweetie Belle was gone.
“… Where did you send her, and why did you do that?” Honey asked.
“Too her room. I just found out something that I once thought lost to me. It turns out, Spike doesn’t know how to dance,” Celestia said as she left the room, picking up Spike in her aura. “Come on, I'm teaching you to dance.”
In a large flash, Sweetie Belle landed on her bed. “You okay Spines?” She asked, rubbing her eyes. The porcupine merely fell on the bed and began to joyfully nestle into the covers. “You’re okay,” she sighed as Spines happily fell asleep.
"... So, I'm guessing Spike messed up and made Celestia mad?" Apple Bloom asked, trying to rationalize why Sweetie Belle appeared out of thin air.
"I don't think so, when I saw her face, the princess looked really happy. By the way, you both look really good!" Sweetie said, admiring her friends.
Scootaloo grumbled bitterly. She whore a simple pink dress that covered most of her midsection and all of her backside. Her mane was combed in a way that was not awesome and would get her impeachment from office as president of the Rainbow Dash fan club. She knew this to be a fact as she herself wrote the by-laws. To make matters worse, the dress had a built in frilly necklace that came with a cute pink butterfly ornament that looked similar to Sweetie Belle's sapphire heart choker. According to the Fanclub’s by-laws, this, coupled with the pink dress, was reason for a permanent ban from the club.
Meanwhile, Apple Bloom wore a shimmering red dress with a necklace that looked like it was made out of apple leaves, with a bright ruby apple in the middle. Her mane was fashioned similar to Applejack's while her pink bow was replaced with a sparkling green one. The red fabric seemed to flow into a light pink saddle that rested on her back.
"You guys look so pretty!"
“You mean girly," Scootaloo corrected. "Imagine if Rainbow Dash saw me now, she would shun me. This day can’t get any worse.”
There was a small knock on the door. “Hey guys, can we have a word?” Feather Weight asked.
“It just got worse,” Scootaloo said. Feather Weight was a colt someone could say Scootaloo liked, but not in a crush like way that her friends thought. It was a totally, non-girly take on liking a colt. She would take the dreamy thoughts about him and burry them deep inside herself and then smash those thoughts.
“Please, the sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can get a suit on!” Rumble added.
Scootaloo lost all color in her face. In truth, there was not one, but two colts she liked…. Yes, as lame as it was, she liked two colts. It was like those crappy romance novels Silver Spoon brought to school. She knew what this was about; they were both going to ask her out! She knew this would happen if she were excessively awesome! Why did she have to emulate Rainbow Dash? How was she supposed to crush both their dreams at the same time!? “W-we can’t let them in,” Scootaloo said.
“Come on, please this will only take a second! Then I can deal with the fallout of this visit when she says no!” Rumble said.
“I promise this will only take a second! It's only a small gift!” Feather Weight said.
“Ah’m letting them in.” Apple Bloom trotted to the door much to Scootaloo’s protest, and let the colts in. Feather Weight quickly handed Apple Bloom a large bundle of flowers and trotted off, leaving Scootaloo in shock. Apple Bloom mumbled angrily under her breath and placed the flowers on her bed.
This left only Rumble and Button Mash. “Button Mash? What the hay are you doing here?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Well…. Wow.” Button said as he caught a glimpse of Sweetie Belle. His heart seemed to race until it came to a full stop. His mouth became dry and his brain ceased functioning. She was breath taking. How was it possible that one filly could look like that?! All he wanted to do was profess his undying love there and now, but after seeing her, he found himself unable to do so.
“….” Rumble waved his hoof in front of Button’s face. He was unresponsive. “Okay, it’s up to me to do this then. Sweetie Belle, after we were arrested and then released after a black coated guard laughed at us, saying that we wouldn’t last two hours in juvy,”
“Both y’all wouldn’t last two minutes, let alone two hours,” Apple Bloom commented.
“Thank you for that much needed commentary. Anyway, Button wanted to ask Sweetie Belle if she would go to the dance with him, even though I advised heavily against it for various reasons…”
“… Wow, this is awkward. I’m already going with this one really nice colt. His name is Spike,” Sweetie Belle admitted
“What?” Button said, waking up from his comatose state.
“I’m going to the dance with somepony else. Somepony-”
“That doesn’t talk about videogames at every given opportunity, whose things don’t randomly burst into flames, or who doesn't scream for ten minutes straight when they get brain freeze?” Rumble interrupted.
“Somepony that can actually pay attention to social situations?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Oh I know! Somepony that doesn’t cry at the drop of a hat!” Scootaloo guessed.
“Come on, that was a very emotional moment. That stallion just dropped his hat like it meant nothing to him!” Button defended.
“I was going to say somepony really sweet, and kind, and generous....” Sweetie drifted off into thought for a few moments before getting back on track. “I’m sorry, but I have to say no.”
Silence… at least that was what came from Button Mash. Rumble merely sighed, took Button by the tail, and began to drag him back to their room. “Come on Button, I’ll swing for some apple juice. By the way, you look cute, Scootaloo.”
“Thanks…” She said, slightly turning red as the two left. “Yeesh, I would hate to be Button right now… So you and Feather Weight… is that a thing?” Scootaloo asked.
“No Scoots, it’s not. Trust me; Feather Weight is not ma type.” She mumbled something else under her breath, but Scootaloo didn’t bother to listen.
“Oh, so nothing’s happening then, cool,” Scootaloo nodded.
Spike slowly swayed to the flow of the playing music, mindful of every move he made. Celestia had been something of a drill sergeant the past hour. Although she didn’t yell, she was very firm with her commands and in her dancing. It was weird, but she was dead set on teaching him to dance.
Something else that bothered him was her reaction to being told this wasn’t necessary. He gently explained he wanted Rarity to teach him so he could lay down his signature charm on her and finally get that magical kiss he’d always dreamed about. However, the mere mention of this would cause Celestia’s eye to twitch and her body to tense. “Just focus on the subject at hand,” she told him through her smile.
Besides Spike's one comment, Celestia was over the moon. For the first time, she had obtained a moment, a true bonding moment with Spike, and she was milking every second of it. “Now, it’s important that you lead, and make sure you support her. If you take her hoof, she’s going to be standing on only 3 legs, that’s awkward for a filly.”
“I think I got it, Princess,” Spike sighed.
“No sighing, it’s unattractive,” Celestia chided.
“Princess, no offence, but I need to get ready! Sweetie Belle’s probably waiting for me.”
“Fine, go ahead,” Celestia said, letting Spike go. This was what she hated about boys they were so impatient! Still though, the dancing was fun… for her at least.
Spike quickly scampered to the fitting room, and quickly knocked on the door. Honey Suckle opened the door and dragged him into the center of the room. In ten minutes flat, Spike was dressed in his suit. “Okay you look perfect… except for that top hat. I suggest burning it.”
“Not happening ever.”
With his suit on, Spike made his way to the castle entrance only to be stopped by Celestia. A bag of bits was dropped at his feet. “These are for you. Just in case you and your little friends decide to do anything after the dance,”
“Oh, okay, thank you.”
“Oh and be home by 11, 11:30 at the latest. If you’re going to be late send a letter, but the reason better be because you’re escorting your friends back to the hotel.”
“Um… okay, good to know.”
“Also, don’t use the bits to buy comics, they are for both you AND your friends.” Celestia stated.
“Hmm… seems fair, I have to go, I’ll see you later Princess,” Spike nodded.
“Okay, have fun!” She called. “Don’t talk to strangers, even if they say they know me! Stay away from drugs; I made them illegal for a reason!”
“I know!” Spike said.
“Send me a letter on what you’re planning to do before you do it! If you need anything, send a letter, I will send a guard!”
“Good-night princess!” Spike called. It was at times as this he wondered why Celestia acted the way she did. It felt nice knowing some pony cared, but still the degree she took it was just weird. He couldn’t focus on it too much though, after all, he had Sweetie Belle to think about, as well as reviewing his very quick dance lesson.
Scootaloo looked outside the room to see if Button Mash, Rumble, or Feather Weight were there waiting for her or her friends. She closed her eyes and listened for any crying. Nothing. That was good. “Okay, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, let’s go, we’re clear.”
“Okay, see you later Spines!” Sweetie Belle told the sleeping porcupine.
The three fillies walked down the hall, only to stop at the sound of a snicker.
“Oh, looky here Silver Spoon, three blank flanks trying to look like they matter! It’s so cute!”
The three of them turned to see their archenemies standing in beautifully made dresses. “Darn it, they both look good!” Sweetie Belle said with a growl.
“You two go on ahead, I’ll handle them,” Apple Bloom said. Her friends nodded, and went to the lobby.
“Silver Spoon, why don’t you go ahead? I’ll chat with Apple Dolt,” Diamond Tiara said. Silver Spoon ran past Apple Bloom, excided to go to the dance. “So, why do you want me alone? Is it so-”
“You pushed me to start the brawl,” Apple Bloom said.
“Who me? I pushed you? Oh, Apple Dolt, you should not make such accusations! After all, nopony saw who pushed you, so I guess it’s your word against mine,” Diamond Tiara sighed. “Oh well.”
“No, that’s what ah’m saying, you pushed me specifically to start the brawl.”
“Wow, after one accusation, another one just pops up! Why would I want to start a fight? After all, I already know I’m better than everypony, so by extension, I have the better class, even if I do have to share it with you, your friends, and Snips and Snails.”
“Yeah, ah was stumped at that part, then a thought came to me, Sctootaloo said that you made sense, something that ah wasn’t willing to believe. Then I remember something Scoots told me while we were arrested, if she just assaulted the safety patroller, somepony would have ratted her out to the teachers, and then nothing, no apology to me, no escaping. Yet in a brawl, who knows who attacked who. I think you wanted to help her out.”
“So that’s your crazy theory? Lame. Lame. Lame. As if I would start a fight just so Scootaloo could say sorry to you and Sweetie Belle. I think you’re too stupid for your own good.”
“… I never said anything about Sweetie Belle. How did ya know about her? Unless Scootaloo told you about how she was treating Sweetie Belle. Then there was the fact the all the tension was started by a very girly sounding colt. Someone that seemed to know exactly how to tear the magic of friendship to shreds. Ah don’t know about you, but that colt kinda sounded like you.” There was a sudden change in tone when Apple Bloom was slammed against the door of a room.
“Listen here and listen good,” Diamond Tiara hissed. “You can think whatever it is you want to think, but the difference between you and me is that I have at most, three ponies I actually care about. The chicken is not one of them, understood? I don’t need you saying stupid things to ponies when you don’t know what it is you are talking about! You know me, I know me. Unless you can go into my head, keep that little mouth of yours shut.” Diamond Tiara let Apple Bloom go and stormed off.
Maybe it was Scootaloo's insanity rubbing off on her, but what just happened was exhilarating. Not because she was slammed against a wall, but because she pushed Diamond Tiara that far. Usually she was cool and collected; to have her act like that was amazing. She had to tell Scootaloo.
The elevator door opened and Scootaloo broke away from Sweetie Belle. “Hey, I’ll see later, I have something I need to take care of.”
“Okay, see you soon!” Sweetie Belle said as she ran off. Scootaloo began to walk around the lobby. She didn’t really have anything to do, but walking around was better than feeling like a third wheel while Spike and Sweetie Belle had their date. She stood watching her classmates pass her. Some foals were with dates, most were not. She noticed Twist and Truffle happily walking to the conference hall, while Diamond Tiara stomped there with Silver Spoon. Dinky sadly parted with Pip, who went upstairs to reunite with Rumble and Button Mash.
Scootaloo noticed Apple Bloom running from an elevator with a happy look on her face. Apple Bloom nearly tackled her and began to tell about her experience. The story put an evil smile on her face. For the first time in a while, Diamond Tiara couldn’t hope to ruin an event for them.
It was almost 8:00 and Neon Lights had just finished setting up his booth. Tonight would be a great night for him. After all, he would get to sleep at a decent hour, and thanks to all the foals present, there was little to no chance of having a sip of alcohol, meaning no head-shattering hangover the next morning! Tonight was about him, his selections of songs, and Vinyl Scratch. “Wait, Vinyl?” Neon asked as his friend got up into the booth.
“Sup Neon! Guess what? I got kicked out of the apartment for a few hours! Her majesty queen Octavia can’t seem handle my tunes. Her eardrums weren’t even bleeding that much. B.T.Dubs, is this the gig you stole from me? Cause I have some really good songs lined up for the party!” Vinyl smiled.
“Are they appropriate for foals?”
“As long as they grew up in an area were screwing the opposite gender at age nine is appropriate and blasting up a guy with magic and killing him is legal, of course…! 25% of your profit, and I will only provide commentary,” Vinyl said.
“15%” Neon said.
“Deal.”
Spike entered the lobby and scanned the area for Sweetie Belle. He had to keep an eye out for a blue dress; problem was that 50% of all fillies seemed to be wearing blue. He began to walk around the lobby, scanning every area at every angle. However, his search ended when he found Sweetie Belle gracefully walking towards him. “Spike!” she waved.
Stunning was the only word that popped into Spike’s head. Sweetie Belle looked stunning. She wore a sky blue dress with blue colored lace. Across the dress was a line of silver fabric that went under a light sky blue trimming, while she wore light blue slippers on her front hooves. On her neck was the silver choker complete with a gleaming sapphire heart. Words, Spike had to use words. It took Spike a few times, but he finally did manage to say something after a long string of stutters. “Y-you look amazing,” he stammered out.
“Why, thank you, kind sir,” Sweetie said with a smile as she lightly bowed. That was something Rarity taught her when she was younger. She never thought to actually use but knowing how Spike danced, it was not likely that her bow was going to be the most embarrassing event of the evening.
There was a pit growing in Spike’s stomach the closer he moved to her. He took deep breaths and offered his arm to her. “Um, so, you ready to go?” He nervously asked. Why was he so nervous? So she looked pretty, so what? He wasn’t going to let it affect too much. After all, they were just two friends hanging out, nothing more.
Sweetie Belle looped her leg through his arm and gave a nod. The two went up a flight of stairs and came to the entrance of the conference hall.
Author's Note
With this semester done, I was finally able to finish day 5. Anyway, one night left, and maybe , again, maybe a bonus chapter, and then I will finish my first fic. Wow, this took longer than I intended, thanks College and Life!
Spike opened the door to the conference room and held it open for his friend. All around foals danced at their own pace with their crushes or their friends. The song playing was light hearted and seemed to fit the atmosphere that the foals brought with them. There was punch and cookies by the door. One of the two D.Js cheered as she watched the dance progress. “Wooooo! Snail Colt! Work it!” The white one called to Snails.
Nopony could tell exactly what Snails was doing; some thought he was having a seizure, others thought it was awesome, while other colts like Snips were starting to become envious that Snails was earning praise from D.J. Pon-3 herself.
Spike began to relax a little bit. The dance wasn’t some huge date, but rather a small get together for friends. Spike led Sweetie Belle to an empty section of the dance floor and released her leg. The two began to dance, joining the other foals in their revelry. For a single moment, since the start of the week, it seemed like everypony was happy.
Well, not everypony. Diamond Tiara was still angry from the conversation she had with Apple Bloom earlier that night. Silver Spoon stood by her, trying to get her to have some fun, but failed. Diamond Tiara’s attitude only worsened as she saw Apple Bloom and Scootaloo walking towards her. She scowled and prepared for the teasing that would soon ensue.
When the pair reached them, Apple Bloom was the first to speak. “We want a real truce,” she quickly stated.
“Wait, what?” Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara asked in unison.
“Apple Bloom, what are you saying?” Scootaloo asked. “We have a way to make fun of Diamond Tiara. Sure, it’s stupid and childish, but we get make fun of her ! We’d have to be crazy not to take this!”
“Plus, we already have a truce!” Silver Spoon added.
“True on both accounts,” Apple Bloom nodded. “But if ya hadn’t noticed, this entire week has been crazy and the truce we have right now, that’s just what we do normally. ‘Sides, did that plan of yers go anywhere? Ah don’t see none of them fillies from that unicorn school here.”
“Well, I thought things went well, but Diamond Tiara said the fillies were lamer than you guys,” Silver Spoon shrugged.
“That right there, crazy! This has been one big crazy, nonsensical week fer everypony! Diamond said that fillies with cutie marks were lamer then us! Then she gave friendship advice to Scoots! The class assaulted the darn military and got away with it, and Sweetie Belle didn’t get in trouble fer the entire week! So fer tonight, let’s just go with it! Let’s do the most crazy thing we can do, and act civil. We pretend that there is no hatchet at all, just fer tonight. When we get back to Ponyville, then we can will the hatchets back into existence, and start trying to kill each other again. Deal?”
There were low murmurs, but all three fillies reluctantly agreed.
“Good,” Apple Bloom smiled. “Now, since that’s taken care of, Scoots, Diamond Tiara, show each other one sign of kindness.”
“… You were .001% as awesome as Rainbow Dash for what you said today,” Scootaloo said, looking away from Diamond Tiara.
“You are not that worthless for a four legged chicken,” Diamond responded.
“That’s as good as we’re gonna get,” Apple Bloom stated.
Button Mash laid in his bed, his cheeks still stained with tears. “I don’t get it, Rumble. I loved Sweetie Belle since I first saw her; I still remember the day we first met, exactly as it happened.”
It happened little over a year ago. Some dragon had just moved into town, and no girl outside his family had even considered talking to Button Mash, until today. “Button Mash, you have some jam on your face,” Sweetie Belle said as she passed the gaming colt, heading to her desk. It was a critical hit. Button Mash was instantly smitten.
“How did I lose her to a dragon? I’m the underdog, doesn’t that mean I get the girl and win the prom king and queen crown together?”
“Button Mash, have you ever once had a real conversation with Sweetie Belle?” Rumble asked looking up from his shirt which he had difficulty buttoning. “I really do mean that. Name one meaningful, conscious conversation that you two have had that would justify you using a very strong word like love.”
Button Mash thought as hard as he could, “She told me I had jam on my face! She cared about my appearance!”
“That’s it?”
“Yes!” Button admitted.
“It’s a mystery why she likes someone else,” Rumble said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, who are you, who are any of us to say she would be a better off with you than the dragon? He seems nice, and according to Sweetie Belle, he has been nothing but nice. Just let it go.”
Button Mash heard what Rumble was saying, but he truly understood what Rumble meant. “So what you’re saying is… I need to do something drastic and expose him as the jerk he is, brilliant!” Button stated.
“Exactly… wait, no! That is not what I’m saying!” It was too late, Button rushed out of the room with a devious smile on his face. Rumble cursed to himself. He should have just let Button Mash complain. Rumble had at most, thirty minutes before Button Mash caused some type of disaster, one that would probably result in the CMC murdering him, as well as Pipsqueak and himself. Rumble rushed to the bathroom door and began to pound on the surface. “Double time Pip! Button Mash is probably pulling something stupid, we got have to move!” He said.
Pip jumped out wearing a suit that looked oddly familiar. It wasn’t a tux, it was a brown tweed jacket with elbow patches, a dress shirt, a fez and bow tie, “I’m already ready!” Pip said, gently tossing his screwdriver on his bed.
“Really Pip?”
“Bow-ties and fezzes are cool,” Pip shrugged.
Dinky couldn’t go to the dance tonight. Knowing that she crushed her own chances with Pip, at least for a short while, she instead sat around in the hotel lobby, shifting in a chair. She didn’t have much to do since Twist chose to spend her time tonight with Truffle. She watched the ponies in the lobby, taking a few moments to memorize each of their faces. None of them seemed to interest her, until she spotted a stallion entering the hotel, reading a large book. He was a unicorn stallion with dead emotionless eyes and a flat facial expression.
Dinky swore she saw him before, she just didn’t know where. Then the memory hit her like a ton of bricks. He was the stallion that helped her help Pip! She quickly jumped out of her seat and rushed over to the stallion, walking with him when she was close enough. “Hey! Mister Dead-eyes! Hey, it’s me, Dinky!” She called. The stallion seemed to ignore her. “Hey, I’m the foal you gave advice to Thursday! Remember? You sabotaged my chances with my crush!”
The stallion peered over the pages his book and gave her a glare. “… Yes, I remember you,” he said, resuming his reading.
“So, we met again, can you stallion up and tell me your name now? I was really ticked when you wrote me off.”
“A deal is a deal. My name is Heart Mender.” He said, proceeding to turn a page in his book
“Heart Mender? Wow, here I thought it was Heart Crusher. Seriously, is it possible for you to smile?”
“No. Canterlot Academy made sure of that.”
“Do you have an earth pony twin brother in the guard or something? I swear I saw a guard that looked just like you. He had the yellow eyes, black hair, brown coat; the only difference was he was an earth pony and instead of a suit, he wore some black overcoat.”
“I’m an only child.” The stallion said as he adjusted his glasses.
“Oh… so why are you here? Are you a pro hotel reviewer or something?” Dinky asked.
“No, I’m a relationship counselor. I have a several clients in this city. One of them owns this hotel and gave me a three nights free. It was his way as of saying thank you,” He said, turning the page in his book.
“Do you do anything else?” Dinky asked.
“I’ve written several books on building and maintaining a healthy relationship, marriage, you name it. However, in my spare time, I answer question put towards me by fillies I met a little over a day ago. So if you don’t mind answering one of my question, how did things go with your crush?”
“He’s no longer emo and he is avoiding relationships for a while.” Dinky smiled. “I regret doing what you told me to more and more with each passing second,” Dinky said with a smile. “So if you’re like a love expert, are you like Princess Cadance?”
Heart Mender slammed his book shut and adjusted his glasses. “No, I’m nothing like her. Want to know why?” he asked with a chuckle.
War Trotter sat with the stallion wearing the black overcoat as most of the guards drank their youth away. “You do know all of them have amnesia, right?” the stallion asked, staring at his mug of untouched hard cider. “You did not have to buy drinks for anypony.”
War Trotter shrugged, “I don’t expect you to get it. A stallion’s word is only as good as he makes it. If I went back on my word, what would that make me?”
“A stallion that didn’t want to pay a crap load of bits for a battalion that just got their flanks handed to them by a bunch of kids? The thing that still boggles me is that they lost to foals… We’re all grown stallions. Were they poisoned? Were they just hesitant to smack around some kids? I get it if they were, Celestia knows I couldn’t hit a kid, but still.”
“Kids? Why would we need to try if we had to fight kids? They’re kids, we could take them with no effort!” A passing stallion said.
“Wait, did you just say none of you would try when fighting kids?” The stallion asked.
“Yup, why try on an easy win?”
“None of them tried to fight their hardest,” War Trotter said.
“Actually, maybe they did, it was probably just too late to do anything.”
“This answers so much. Well it happened; no guard but you and I remember it. I vote we just let it go, Dark Blade” War Trotter said, downing a mug of cheaply produced alcohol.
“You know my name’s not Dark Blade,” the stallion deadpanned.
“Kid, I don’t care what the hell your name is right now. My battalion lost to foals, most of them think it’s three weeks ago, and I think I met the mare of my dreams only to have her backhoof me.”
“And then you stayed on the floor of a museum, pitching a tent,” The stallion added.
War Trotter mumbled a few insults under his breath and downed another mug of alcohol. He decided to get hammered tonight; he didn’t care how much cheap cider he would need to consume, so long as he could block out the memories of the last week.
However, his plans came crashing down the moment Princess Celestia walked into the bar and tapped on his shoulder. “Excuse me, War Trotter; can you do me a favor?”
War Trotter let out a rough sigh. He knew it was disrespectful and normally would never even think of doing it, but the alcohol had loosened him up to the point where he didn’t care “Why don’t you ask Darko Hell-Blader over there?” War Trotter said, motioning towards the stallion.
“Still not my name,” the stallion responded. “Also, unlike you, I can say no.”
“He's right.” Celestia clarified. “Now, do you remember that teacher that was brought in? Well, she’s having a little get together tonight at some hotel and I need you to go out to this address and do me one huge favor,” Celestia began whispering information into his ear, making his eyes grow wide. “Do you think you can do that?” She asked.
“Wait, wait, wait, hold it. You mean she was released? How, why?”
“Because the union,” she said. “Now can you please do this for me? Spike, he’s the dragon that stays with Twilight, is there. He represents an irreplaceable asset and Faust knows what kind of harm they might present to him if left unattended. So please, just go there and make sure no one blows anything up.”
War Trotter dumped his third mug of cider on the floor and walked out of the bar.
“So the military is so expendable we can be rationed out as security guards for a school dance. It’s official, we have hit rock bottom,” The stallion sighed.
“The military is not expendable,” Celestia stated. “The royal guards are meant to protect all members and assets of the royal family, Spike falls under those categories. Ergo, shut up. Besides, if your little sister was placed in an unsafe environment, say a room filled with potential predators, murderers, and/or arsonists, you would not use any of the stallions at your disposal to make sure she was safe?” Celestia asked.
“… No comment,” the stallion sighed, not wanting to give into her logic.
Cheerilee stood watching her foals have fun for the first time in days. The fact that everything was peaceful was a welcomed change from the insanity of the week. It was even better knowing that she had at least two ponies to talk with, though one of them were cheering and commenting on her foals. “So, how goes the existential crisis?” Neon Lights asked as he left Vinyl to her commentary.
“So much better. You were right; I just needed to remember why I was doing my job. See these foals? I’m trying to provide them a future, so when they stand up by themselves, they can make something of themselves…. Though I will admit it really does suck being single still.”
Neon shrugged. “You can’t expect all your problems to be conveniently solved in less than a week. Come on, it’s not like a stallion will just walk in this room and ask you out.”
Before anyone knew it, a familiar stallion ran into the room, out of breath and carrying a letter. “Hi,” He said, introducing himself to Cheerilee. “I’m War Trotter, we had a run in at the princess museum.”
“Yeah, you’re the guy I back hoofed…. I’m so sorry about that. Some jackass insulted one of my students and I was just in a berserk mode…. Again, I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Oh, it’s fine, I hardly felt a thing. Before I forget, this is for you, from the princess. It’s nothing too big just a small notice.” He said, handing her a letter.
Cheerilee took the letter and skimmed it’s contents. It read, ‘Enjoy the security guard I hired for you, XoXo, Celestia ’. “Hmm, considering what my class and I did, this is shockingly lenient.”
“Well to be honest, no one but me, Demon Slayer or whatever the kid’s name is, and the princess know about the museum, everypony else forgot. H-hey this will sound kinda weird, but are you free tomorrow morning? I know this coffee place and I wouldn’t mind some company to talk to.”
“Hmm… so is this like a date?” Cheerilee asked.
“… It is whatever you want to think it is,” War Trotter responded.
“You know what, why not? This week has been crazy enough, might as well finish it with something normal. Celestia knows doing something normal would be a nice change of pace…. So, anything interesting happen after I was released from custody?”
As the two ponies began to talk, Neon stood in awe. Was this because of him? Did he solve a problem for a mare though simply wishing it? Maybe he could solve his own romance problems. “It’s not like Octavia will run in here and declare her love for me!” He said, keeping an eye on the entrance. Nothing happened.
“Ooh, used your ‘it’s not like’ wish on someone else. Tough break Neon,” Vinyl said, patting him on the back. “I wish I could help you, I really do, but I used mine up a long time ago."
"On what?” Neon asked.
“A responsible roommate that can stand me, duh.” Vinyl laughed. “How do you think I got Octavia? Do you think it was because we’re friends? No, it was magic.”
Pip and Rumble frantically scanned and rescanned the dance floor, searching for Button Mash. “Dude, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know it’s going to back fire,” Rumble said. Button Mash had a habit of making huge problems for the three of them, sometimes five if Feather Weight and Shady Daze were involved.
“Um, Rumble, I think I see the bloke up in the cat walks,” Pip said, pointing up.
Rumble looked up to see Button Mash climbing a ladder, carrying a large cylinder container. “Sweet Celestia, is that paint?! Okay, we have to move. I’ll go on ahead, you find Dinky and get her to give you a speech that can calm him down!”
“Why Dinky?”
“Because, she helped you out of your emo phase in less than a day! This is similar! Just ask yourself, what would the Eleventh Doctor do?”
“Find something to do that's more fun?” Rumble’s expression fell. “Okay, I’ll find Dinky,” Pip said as he ran in a random direction.
Rumble cracked his neck and began to climb the ladder Button Mash had scaled. He was thankful that is was far off from the party and partially out of Cheeriliee’s line of sight. Actually, everything was out of her line of sight, she was flirting with a guard. Carefully taking each step, he scaled the ladder until he reached the top of the catwalks. “Button Mash!” Rumble called. Button was about to tip a very large container of paint over the edge of the catwalk.
“Hey Rumble!” He naively called. “Do you think you can you help me? This can is a lot heavier than I expected,” Button sighed. “Still, can you believe that they have catwalks? It’s almost like I’m the luckiest colt alive! So are you going to come help?”
Rumble was about to lose his mind. The fact Button Mash was acting as if this happened everyday was a definite red flag. “No, I’m not going to help you, Button! What you’re doing is insane! What’s your plan anyway?!” Rumble shouted, his voice failing to reach the room below.
“Oh, that’s easy. I’m going to tip this paint over the edge of the cat walk, it will all dump on the dragon, he will yell at Sweetie Belle since he will foolishly think that it’s her fault, then, when Sweetie Belle’s heart is broken in two, I’ll swoop in and save her like Link would Zelda. But then I’ll have a change of heart, where I try to set her and the dragon back up, but the dragon is done with her, he’s leading on another filly, one he considers better than Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle will then think back to the kindness I showed her, and she’ll realize she loves me, then we profess our feelings for each other, and we all live happily ever after.”
“Button Mash, you cannot be serious.”
“Oh I am. You see my feather friend, with the free dance happening, the dragon is merely shuffling around in a single spot, coupled with the fact that Sweetie isn’t in that close of a proximity means that she will only get a few drops on her. I have this all figured out.”
“What if he moves and you miss him? Worse, what if you hit Sweetie Belle?”
“Are you kidding me? I can’t miss. After all, I’m the good guy in this scenario, the good guy always wins at the end of a game or a movie. Come on Rumble, this isn’t rocket science,” Button Mash chuckled.
“Good guy? Button, you are so not the good guy! If anything, you’re the bad guy; you are totally the bad guy!” Rumble shouted.
“No, the dragon is the bad guy! He stole Sweetie Belle. I’m the gamer. By default, that makes me the good guy, Sweetie the girl I like, who doesn’t know that she likes me back, and the dragon the bad guy. I’ve watched like every underdog movie ever made and I’ve played Ponysona 4 like a bazillion times! Rise and I always go out by the end of it.”
Rumble’s eye began to twitch. “Well, when you put it like that, that is dumbest thing I have ever heard! You are the bad guy here!”
“Wait, we can’t just say that!” a voice shouted. Pip’s head appeared at the top of the ladder and he climbed to the top of the catwalks, out of breath. “Rumble you can’t just label him the bad guy. That could destroy our friendship!”
“Pip, you’re siding with him!?” Rumble asked.
“Ha! Take that, Rumble! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a dragon to expose.”
“Whoa, whoa, no to both of you.” Pip shouted. “Listen, just because you are not the bad guy, doesn't mean you're the good guy by default, Button. What you’re doing is obviously wrong.”
“Okay, so he is the bad guy here,” Rumble said.
“No, he’s not,” Pip answered. “Look, I heard from the bloke that Dinky was talking to that Shining Armor once did this exact same thing to some bloke at Canterlot Academy; we all know who Shinin' Armor is, right?” Rumble and Button Mash nodded. “Ok, now was the bloke bad guy? No, but his actions was not that of a good guy.”
“… Pip, can we get to the point?” Rumble asked.
“Sure, but this might take a while. We have to get every detail hammered out. I found Dinky in the lobby, and accordin' to her and the stallion she was hangin' around with, it is important to look at things from Button’s perspective, and we can’t do that if we don’t understand his current disposition!”
“I don’t get what Pip is saying, but I agree!” Button proclaimed with his hoof still on the large tub of paint.
“I hate both of you so much right now,” Rumble sighed. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”
Meanwhile, on the dance floor, Spike danced with Sweetie Belle the only way he knew how, shuffling his feet. This however, rendered his friend speechless, except for her amused giggles. The music was pounding at near maximum volume, energizing the surrounding foals, but it suddenly came to an abrupt stop.
“Okay, everypony, you all having fun!?” Vinyl Scratch shouted. There was a loud chorus of yeses. “Nice! Now who here has special somepony to call there own?!” She shouted into the mic. Only two foals partnered up, Twist and Truffle. “Anyone else?” Vinyl asked. Nopony moved an inch. “Come on we have quality guys here ladies! The Snail Colt, he’s awesome and single!” Nopony even attempted to move. “Wow, okay then; to those of you that do not have dates, you should have tried a bit harder. It’s not bad; it just means you should feel bad.” Vinyl said as Neon hit a few switches on the record booth. The lights dimmed and several light beams in the shape of hearts turned on illuminating the gym with a gentle pink glow. “To the foals that don’t have dates, move off the dance floor, cause we about to slow things down. Hit it, Neon!”
Neon gave his friend a glare as he flipped his record and the music made a drastic shift in tone from party songs to a slow playing romance song. Twist and Truffle got close and began to gently sway with each other. The site made many jealous foals and Scootaloo pretend to vomit, while Spike and Sweetie Belle stayed in their spot. Sweetie looked at Spike, and Spike looked at Sweetie, both their faces turning a slight tinge of pink.
“Y-you know, I’m kinda tired after that whole first part. I might just sit this one out,” Spike, looking away from Sweetie as he spoke.
“Oh… um, yeah. Ok, no problem,” Sweetie said, sadly looking down.
Unfortunatly, the two did not go unnoticed. “Not happening!” Vinyl shouted into the microphone, catching Spike trying to wiggle out of his dance. “If the dragon in the room will grow a pair and dance with the cute filly in blue, I think everypony here will appreciate it.”
Spike froze as he felt what he thought was a hundred eyes looking at him.
“Come on everypony that does NOT have a date,” Vinyl shouted, “Here is your chance to not be lame! Pres-sure-him, pres-sure-him, pres-sure-him!” she began chanting.
“Pressure him, pressure him, pressure him!” The foals said, joining in. Soon the only phrase being chanted was ‘pressure him’.
“Just dance with her!” Diamond Tiara shouted.
“Yeah!” Scootaloo added. “Even if it’s super girly and gross!” There was a loud whack. “Ow! I’m not saying don’t do it, Apple Bloom! I’m just saying it’s gross!”
Seeing that Spike was put on the spot, Sweetie Belle decided to help ease his nerves a little. “You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to,” She whispered to Spike. Truth be told, she really did want to dance with Spike, however she didn’t want to force Spike into anything too serious, at least not yet.
Spike was torn in all actuality. Part of him wanted the night to end here. After all this would be his first real dance, it shouldn’t have to be forced, but rather something he wanted to do. The problem was he did want to do it, a lot. He didn’t know if he wanted to do it for himself or Sweetie Belle, but some small part of him gave him a push.
Spike gently took Sweetie Belle’s left hoof in his claw and guided her other hoof to wrap around his waist. With his free claw, he gently grabbed his waist, helping her balance on her hind legs. This was what Celestia called an advanced dance, it was only explained, never practiced, but Spike was able to figure it out as they practiced the basic three-legged dance. “A-are you okay with this?” Spike asked as he began to move rhythm of the music.
Sweetie Belle was thankful that the room was so dim; otherwise, Spike might have seen her red cheeks. “Y-yeah, it’s fine,” she managed to squeak.
Vinyl smiled at her triumph. “To all the foals watching those two dance, the lesson here is that peer pressure is okay and should always be given into!” Vinyl said into the mic. “Remember foals, if everyone else is saying you should do something, you should!”
“Ignore her,” Neon said, taking the mic away from his friend. “That is terrible advice! Vinyl, I'm cutting you off from commentating,” Neon said.
Meanwhile, Apple Bloom, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and Scootaloo stood on the sidelines watching Spike and Sweetie Belle dance. While the song played, Sweetie Belle tripped and almost fell, but Spike was quick to catch her and help her balance again. This time, she had one hoof on his shoulder, one around his waist, while her head soon found itself resting on Spike’s other shoulder, with Spike focusing on keeping his dance partner on her hooves. They had moved from their original section near the center of the dance floor, to near the back of the room. The sight of the two made Scootaloo gag, while Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom stood indifferently, though, Diamond Tiara shook uncontrollably, as if she was repressing something. Silver Spoon sighed dreamily.
Apple Bloom felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Shady Daze. “Um, excuse me,” Shady Daze said nervously. “Um, Apple Bloom, c-can I have this dance?” He asked.
Apple Bloom gave him an angry glare and turned her head away. “If ya recall, ah said that we’d dance if ya were discreet. Having yer best friend send my flowers is not discreet.” Apple Bloom huffed.
“You said I couldn’t do anything direct, I did not deliver them,” he said, exposing the loophole, “Feather Weight did. All I did was happen to buy a bouquet of flowers, like orchids, lilacs, and tulips. These were flowers that just so happen to be….”
“Ma favorites,” Apple Bloom muttered, remembering the kind gesture. “Look ah said ah wanted-”
“Will you just dance with the colt?!” Diamond demanded, already fed up with the banter. Her eye was twitching and she seemed to be grinding her teeth as if she desperately wanted to say something but couldn’t. “Come on, you’re putting him in the dog house because he sent you flowers. He must be horrible boyfriend if he sends you your favorite flowers.”
“Especially if they’re like, forbidden love flowers!” Silver Spoon added. “He likes you so much that he sneaks them to you? If you don’t want him, I’ll take him!”
Scootaloo had nothing to say about whether or not Apple Bloom should dance however, one question did peak her curiosity. “Wait, since when are you dating Shady Daze?! Why are you dating Shady Daze, he’s Shady Daze! No one cares about him!”
“I’ll just ignore that.” Shady Daze muttered.
“First off, ah care about him!” Apple Bloom said. “We started dating about three months ago, a week before Babs came to visit. You were still crazy about us not having boyfriends, so decided not to tell ya about him.”
“There was a reason the photos I took of you three in the mud never made it to the papers,” Shady Daze said. “So considering that I was awesome for doing that, the fact we’ve been dating for three months, and the fact that Scootaloo isn’t trying to kill me, can we please just have one dance?”
“Fine, ah guess ah can forgive ya fer sending me flowers. Side’s ah think if ah don’t Silver Spoon might pounce on ya. Let's go,” Apple Bloom said as she followed Shady Daze to the dance floor.
“And another noble warrior falls victim to the curse that is love,” Scootaloo sighed. “So, which one of us is next? If it’s me, put me down. You have my permission,” she told her new frenemies.
Up in the catwalks the colts sat discussing, stuck trying to determine Button Mash’s character. “Oy, I think we got this. Although the actions of Button Mash can in no way be considered good, or even neutral, we can say that the wish to expose the dragon as he is, in fact, a worthy goal,” Pip said.
“Right,” Rumble agreed. “However, to be considered a even a fraction of worthy goal, the dragon guy, whose name is Spike, must have at some point in time, have shown less than honorable intentions about dating Sweetie Belle.”
“Yes, and although Spike basically titan morphed into a dragon and rampaged through Ponyville that one time, he has not shown a single intention of hurting Sweetie emotionally or using her for an ulterior motive. However, Spike’s personality could be pompous and self-centered, meaning that if he was put in danger, Sweetie Belle would become his meat shield,” Button stated.
“Yes, but until we can determine that factor, it is a fact that spillin' paint on him is wrong, even if Button would be proven right.” Pip said. “Movin' on, Button Mash can in no way be considered a ‘bad guy,’ as such an accusation would misinterpreted his actions as being cruel for cruelness’s sake.”
“We can, however, define his actions as a hurt soul seeking to gain that which at the moment is unobtainable through questionable means. This would make him a 'sympathetic antagonist'. Although we cannot condone his actions, we can, to an extent, sympathize with him, as we may have done the same thing in his shoes.” Rumble clearly stated.
“I think we settled it,” Pip said.
“I’m glad we could work this out,” Button smiled. “Okay, now we can go around in circles trying to talk me down from spilling the paint,” Button said as he casually sat on his haunches. Unfortunately, his body brushed against the container, tipping it over and spilling out the paint. “Oh crap!” he called.
Down on the dance floor, Silver Spoon coyly shifted in her spot, her eyes briefly meeting with a colt’s from across the room. There seemed to be a mutual, unspoken connection between the two. When they shared a glance, the colt would give a soft, welcoming smile, forcing Silver Spoon to smile, blush, and flirtatiously turn her head away. “Um, Diamond, I’m going to… get some punch,” she said after a short while.
“Going on a date, got it,” Diamond Tiara translated. “Have fun,” she said as her friend happily trotted across the floor.
“So look’s like it’s just you and me,” Scootaloo huffed. “So, what happened with the fillies from the School? I don’t buy that they were lamer than us. Admit it, they rejected you.”
“No,” Diamond scoffed. “As expected they accepted me no issue, but they were just too stupid to notice Silver Spoon’s value. They said she was a follower, and that they would never let a follower into their stupid circle, so I dumped them.”
“Wow, I thought you would have dumped her,” Scootaloo stated.
“You thought wrong,” Diamond said. “Silver Spoon and I are a package deal; you get both of us or you get nothing.”
“Wow,” Scootaloo said, shocked by the revelation. “… So why aren’t you trying to dance?” Scootaloo asked changing the subject.
“I-I never really found anypony worth my time,” Diamond sighed.
“Really? Nopony?”
“No pony.” Diamond shrugged. “I leave the romance stuff to Silver Spoon.”
“She does seem to act differently, well, so are you but she’s just so-”
“Gooey and romantic?”
“Exactly! She’s sighing and running off to a colt that smiled at her, it’s like she thinks she lives in a world of fan-fiction.”
“Well… she doesn’t think she lives in one... but she has written one where she marries Soarin of the Wonderbolts, another few where she helps a cursed beast of the Everyfree Forest find love, at which point he turns into a hot colt, a literal ton of fan-fics where she dates a bat pony-”
“Ugh, she’s one of those?”
“Unfortunately, but you learn to stand it. The thing is Silver Spoon knows she is a romantic. Exhibit A, she just saw a colt smile at her and now she probably thinks that destiney has bonded the two together forever. Look at her, she just rolls with it!” The moment Diamond Tiara gestured to her best friend, there was a loud splash followed by a loud shriek.
In the center of the dance floor, Silver Spoon stood covered in red paint. For Silver Spoon, everything around her stopped as all eyes fell on her. There were looks of pity and looks of shock, but snickers and looks of amusement overtook most of the students.
Diamond’s body began to shake as a dark scowl spread across her features. She was ready to kill all the students that would dare snicker and laugh at her friend, but something snapped her out of her rage towards the student body. She heard a very loud, shrill ‘oh crap’ from above. Looking up to the catwalks, she saw three colts who looked down towards Silver Spoon. Her rage seemed to break as she began to grit her teeth into a fine white powder. Her body quaked as she began to walk towards a close by ladder. “Scootaloo, since we have that truce, you, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle take Silver Spoon to our room, I need to take care of a few things.”
Apple Bloom had been dancing with Shady Daze for no more than a few minutes when suddenly, Silver Spoon was covered in a large amount of paint. She and Shady Daze looked towards the filly, whose entire face and body meekly trembled. Scootaloo motion for her to get over to Silver Spoon, while Diamond Tiara stormed off in a random direction. “Um… ah might need to take care of this,” she said, letting go of her partner.
“Really? I thought you hated her though.”
“We have a truce. Don’t worry, I’ll make this up to ya,” She said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.
Spike and Sweetie Belle’s dance felt slow. Spike was very careful with his movements, always trying to do his best to help his friend balance on her hind legs. However, something else made him move slowly. He was moving slowly to give himself time to think.
Something about Sweetie Belle was making him have a heaviness in his chest, a feeling that suddenly appeared when she rested her head on his shoulder. The soft tune of the song did nothing to calm that feeling. He couldn’t begin to understand it, but there was something about Sweetie Belle that seemed different. Was it her scent? Maybe, it was weird on several levels, but she smelled like freshly mixed berries. Her coat, at least the parts of her coat still exposed, felt soft like a cloud. However, the biggest change seemed to be her eyes. He couldn’t describe it but there was a shine to them he hadn’t noticed before.
Sweetie Belle, however, knew exactly what she was feeling. Joy? Yes, she was filled with joy. Worry? She was nervous to take a breath, but there was something else. She couldn’t describe it, but it felt warm. Something about the way Spike held her that made her feel lighter than air.
The music seemed to slow as she lifted her head from his shoulder. There was one moment when they caught a glimpse of each other’s eyes that made both their hearts skip a single beat. The two stood motionless, staring deeply into the other’s eyes. It was a moment were nothing seemed too stupid, that the slightest gesture could feel right.
If Spike had followed his first gut instinct, it would be for him to hold her close to him, though he didn’t know why. Sweetie Belle was about to follow her first instinct, and move her head forward, but instead they were ripped from their moment by a loud cry. The two looked to see Silver Spoon standing in the middle of the room, covered in red paint. “What the heck?” Spike asked.
“You killed us,” Rumble said as he saw just whom Button hit. “You crazy colt, you just killed us all!”
“I swear she wasn’t my target! Blame Spike, he moved!” Button said freaking out.
“Do you think Diamond Tiara is going to care about who you were trying to hit or who moved!? You hit Silver Spoon! You just signed our death warrants! The kindest thing Diamond Tiara can do to us is ruin what little social reputations we have left around school!”
“I don’t want to die!” Pip wept as he broke down into the fetal position. “Someone get a speech to calm her down!”
“There are no speeches for this!”
“Wait, maybe we can shift the blame!”
“On who, Button!? There is only two questions to be answered, ‘who tipped the paint?’! Answer: The three colts on the catwalks! ‘Who did we hit?’ Silver Spoon! There is no shifting the blame or saying only one of us did it, Button. We are all dead!” Rumble shouted.
“Why are there catwalks in a conference room even?!” Pip wept.
“This sometimes doubles for acting competitions; the catwalks are used for lighting! Almost the entire first three floors are made for major club competitions and business conferences of all kinds!
“How do you know that?” Button asked.
“It was in a pamphlet in the lobby! Darn it, Button, why do you need to be insane!?”
“Love makes us insane!”
“You don’t have the right to say you are in love!” Rumble shouted, “You have barely talked to her!”
“I think I know what you three really are,” a cold, malicious voice said. "You three are dead."
The three colts turned to see Diamond Tiara, on top of the catwalk, slowly walking towards them.
“I want my mommy!” Button wept.
“I want my brother!” Rumble wept.
“I want the Eleventh Doctor!” Pip wept.
Silver Spoon stood as her emotional barriers began to break. Well, they were more along the lines of smashed when she noticed the colt that had given her the kind smile laughing at her misfortune. Neon and Vinyl desperately tried to put on a song to lift the mood, while Cheerilee broke away from War Trotter to try to distract the foals from Silver Spoon’s predicament.
Meanwhile Apple Bloom and Scootaloo converged on Silver Spoon, shielding her from the crowed. They looked towards Sweetie Belle and motioned for her to help. “Um… I think I need to go….” She told Spike, who was still holding her.
“Oh, okay,” Spike agreed. Both didn’t move an inch. “Mind if I come with you? I could help,” Spike offered.
“Yeah, w-why not?” The two went over to Silver Spoon and helped in leading her out of the room.
Once she was away from her class, Silver Spoon silently cried as she followed the CMC and Spike to her room. “Why are we helping her? I thought she’s our enemy,” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Bloom.
“We have a truce fer tonight, tomorrow morning we’re back to hating each other.”
“Oh, okay… hey, where’s Diamond Tiara? Shouldn’t she be here?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“She had something to take care of,” Scootaloo said as she tried to comfort Silver Spoon.
Diamond Tiara glared at the colts as the backed up into the rails of the catwalks. “Wait, it wasn’t us!” Rumble pleaded.
“Then who was it Rumble?” Diamond asked. “And before one of you heroically comes forward, saying take him and spare the others, the answer is no.”
“It was the Daleks!” Pip shouted in a desperate attempt to save their lives.
“So Daleks, stupid tin cans from a stupid T.V. show, covered my friend with paint. You expect me to buy this?”
“We would pay you any amount of money if you did,” Button said.
“Hmm, well when you put it like that, Rumble’s first.” Diamond Tiara showed no mercy with her assault. She punched Rumble across the muzzle turned him over on his stomach, and began to bend back his front right leg. “My leg doesn’t bend that way! My leg doesn’t bend that way! My leg doesn’t bend that way!” He cried in anguish. There was a series of loud snaps as Rumble let out a blood hurdling scream that failed to reach the dance floor below.
“Now it does,” Diamond stated as Rumble passed out. She turned her attention to the other two colts.
“Please, Button didn’t mean to hit her with the paint, he was aiming for the dragon!” Pip wept.
“And what? He didn’t think about what happens if the dragon moves?”
“I didn’t think I could miss!” Button pleaded.
“For the love of Luna, please, we have parents!” Pip cried as he back up to the end of the catwalk.
“Pip, I will put this in words you will understand. Exterminate.” Quickly, Diamond Tiara kicked Pip in the groin. He let out hurt squeaks as he fell to the floor. “Hey, Button Mash,” Diamond Tiara said, as she slowly walked towards the remaining colt. “A Pissed Off Diamond Tiara appeared, looks like you sent out yourself.”
“I am shocked and impressed you know enough about that game to reference the battle sequence.” Button Mash said as he cowered in fear. “I’m sorry! I am sorry! I’ll do anything, just have mercy!”
“…Button Mash used grovel and beg like the worm he is. It has no effect on the Pissed Off Diamond Tiara. The Pissed Off Diamond Tiara used ravage assault.” Daimond Tiara grabbed the colt by his shirt and punched him across the muzzle several times, “It hit several time(s). A critical hit. It’s super effective.” She said, dropping him.
“Please, I’m knocked out, I fainted!”
“Sorry, but your Sturdy made you endure the assault. So what do you do now?”
“Um, I run away?” Button Mash said.
“You can't run from a trainer battle,” Diamond Tiara stated.
That did not stop Button Mash. He tried to run past her, only to have Diamond grab him. His life flashed before his eyes, most of which were the hours he spent in front of a screen with friends. He was punched several times until he fell against the bars of the railing. “Please, I’m sorry, I’m so sahahahary!” He wept.
“Yeah? Well, you can tell your dentist I’m sorry,” Diamond said. She delivered a kick to the back of Button’s head.
Diamond climbed down to the dance floor and went upstairs to her room to join the CMC, the dragon, and Silver Spoon.
Diamond entered the room only to hear the shower running, with Silver Spoon missing from the group. There were soft sobs coming from the bathroom, which only burned Diamond Tiara further. “Hey Dragon guy, do you think you can do me a favor? I need Button Mash, Pip, and Rumble fixed up ASAP.”
“I’m sorry?”
“There was an incident. Do you think you can get that chaos guy to heal them? You work with the princesses; I would think you could pull some strings.”
“I guess I could send a letter, but what do I tell her?” Spike asked
“The truth,” Diamond said.
“You want me to do what?!" Discord's feigned scream of shock echoed through the castle, as he stifled his laugh. Discord loved these little late night calls, it meant that Celestia wanted, nay, needed his help. And did she need his help. Celestia had shown Discord a letter detailing a very brutal, and hilarious, assault. Of course just giving in and saying 'I'll do it' was off the table, he needed something in return. “Tia, Tia, Tia, I can't just heal those colts, I’m not a charity worker. I mean, yes, I could use my magic to solve all problems in the history of ever, make world peace and solve world hunger, but I don’t for one reason. I need something worthwhile in return. And yes, I could just be happy that I helped my fellow pony, but what you and Fluttershy don’t get is that I get nothing but a thank you.” Discord said. “Screwball and I can snap our fingers and get whatever we want! What can you possibly give us-”
“Just name the town and you get an hour to cause chaos in it,” Celestia interrupted.
“Ponyville,” Discord said.
“The Elements, both the gems and Twilight and her friends, are off limits,” Celestia said. “But before you retort, I’ll give you an extra hour.”
“Give a pass on Rarity and a mare of your choosing, and I’ll settle for an extra thirty minutes,” Discord smirked.
“Very well... You get Pinkie Pie. One more thing, as always, Spike is off limits,” Celestia said.
“That might cost you,” Discord said, stroking his goat beard. Of course Spike was off limits, talk about overprotective. She never showed favoritism his foot. One day though, he would screw with that dragon harder than any victim he had ever messed with before. He just had to wait.
“I’ll give you a pass on Rainbow Dash. Also, Fluttershy will be brought here to tend to Philomena so she doesn’t try and guilt you into stopping, but you only get the original hour, max.”
“Deal! Pleasure doing business with you, Princess. Now if you excuse me, I need to heal three colts.” Discord snapped his fingers and appeared on top of some catwalks in a random hotel, before Celestia could negotiate any further. “This is so beautiful. Such glorious chaos,” He said to himself, wiping a tear from his eye. One colt was a Pegasus, another colt a very small earth pony, and the last colt owned a beanie similar to the one his daughter owned.
He used his magic to check each of the colts. The results were that one would likely never walk again, one would never have children, and he was 95% sure that the last one was dead. It was a good thing he was a boarder line god with a soft spot for kids, otherwise this type of beating might actually have real-life consequences and at least some blood. Seriously, there was no blood at all.
He snapped his fingers and the beanie colt’s teeth were in his mouth, whiter than they had ever been. Discord even gave him thirty-two bits just to show up the Tooth Fairy. He snapped his fingers again and pegasus's leg was fixed, he could now enjoy the gift of walking. Finally, with one final snap, the very small colt was healed. He could now have children when he got married. “Hmm, imagine if I actually used my gifts to better pony kind…. Oh, wait, that’s right the unemployment rate, the mortality rate, and the poverty rate seem to be non-existent! I swear if I went full chaos, this world would fry.” He muttered before returning home in a flash.
Diamond Tiara let out a sigh as she entered her bed room. The fillies that were her temporary allies sat around in silence, with the sound of running water going off in the hotel's bathroom. Diamond knocked on the door to the room only to hear the soft sounds of sobs, mixed with the sound of the shower running. She took off her dress and entered the bathroom. As she expected Silver Spoon sat in the shower, crying her eyes out, with no trace of any paint on her. “Hey,” Diamond said, “You okay?”
“No,” Silver sniffled. “Why would they do that? I didn’t even do anything to them!”
“We don’t have to; they kinda make fun of themselves. I wouldn’t take it personally though,” Diamond Tiara said, entering the shower and giving her friend a comforting hug, letting her cry into her shoulder as the water drenched them both. “It’s Button Mash, he’s just naturally stupid. Remember when we had to write a book report about The Old Stallion and the Sea ?”
“His presentation was about how some green thing blew up his boat in some game.”
“Exactly, and then he was shocked when he got an F. He’s just some stupid colt; he probably thought that what he was doing was a way to ask you out.”
“It wasn’t very romantic. I thought you had to give the girl a sign you like her before you asked out, like Shady Daze and his flowers. You don’t embarrass her,” Silver sniffled.
“That’s what makes them so stupid,” Diamond said, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
“I can’t believe I actually feel sorry for Silver Spoon,” Sweetie Belle stated as she waited for the two fillies to exit.
“I know, right? This feels weird. It’s like if Celestia teamed up with that bug queen thing at the wedding.”
“Do you think we should do something for her?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah don’t got a lot of bits left, but I could swing fer a candy bar or somethen.”
Spike suddenly perked up as he felt in his coat pocket. He still had the bits Celestia gave him; there was more than enough for a treat. “Hey, guys, do any of you want ice cream?”
There came a loud knock on the bathroom door. “Hey, guys,, I know this is so not a good time, but I have some bits if you guys want some ice cream or something,” Spike offered, jingling the bag of coins.
“I heard Ice cream,” Diamond Tiara sang, “and it’s Sweetie Belle’s dragon that’s paying. I’m thinking about getting a float, and I know you’d like a Sunday,” she tempted. “So come on, cheer up?”
Silver Spoon nodded, turned off the running water and the pair began to dry off. When Silver Spoon’s hair was braided, the two exited the bathroom and left to get some well-deserved snacks with their new, temporary friends.
The party had ended a half hour after Silver Spoon was drenched in paint. Neon had been paid in full, with Vinyl taking 15% of the profit. War Trotter left, making plans to meet the teacher at a coffee shop early the next morning before she left for home, Heart Mender gave Dinky a business card, in case she ever needed help with any future relationships. Leaving Cheerilee to deal with Pip, Rumble, and Button Mash, who she found on the cat walks.
“We swear! Diamond Tiara kicked the ever living crap out of us!” Button pleaded. “I was curb stomped!”
Cheerillee did not believe a word any of them were saying. All of Button’s teeth were still in his mouth, whiter than they had ever been, and for some reason he had 32 bits. “Oh I’m sure Button Mash, and Rumble’s leg was bent a way it shouldn’t be,” she said, looking at Rumble, whose legs were all fine and unbroken. “You three are in trouble, a lot of trouble. However, your punishments can wait until we get back to Ponyville. I’m sure your siblings and parents are just dying to hear about tonight.” There were three loud groans, as they mentally prepared themselves for the punishments they would receive.
At an ice cream parlor close to the hotel, Apple Bloom had ordered a large cookie dough ice cream cone, Scootaloo ordered three scoops of a rainbow ice cream, and Silver Spoon got a hot fudge Sunday. Diamond sipped a fizzy vanilla float, while Spike got two scoops of pistachio and Sweetie Belle mint chocolate chip.
“Thanks for this,” Silver Spoon said as she ate her ice cream.
“Don’t mention it,” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, it’s Spike that’s paying, so feel free to bleed him dry,” Apple Bloom said.
“Hey, where is Spike? I might need a refill,” Diamond huffed.
“He’s outside with Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said, putting a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. “Hey I know that I said I would let the whole no relationship thing go, but do you guys think you can give me a pass on something?”
“Whatever you need,” Diamond said, finishing her float. "But only for tonight."
Spike and Sweetie Belle sat on the edge of the side walk in silence enjoying their treats. There was a small gag between the two, something that, while not needing fixing, Sweetie Belle rectified, scooting just a bit closer to Spike. Though the air was warm, there was a slight heat irradiating from the dragon that the unicorn found comforting.
"Hey Spike? Thanks for dancing with me,” Sweetie Belle said, looking at her friend.
“No problem, I actually had fun,” Spike said, looking at the stars. Sweetie Belle carefully scooted just a hair closer to Spike until they were only two slight movements away from touching. Spike absent-mindedly placed his claws to his side, putting one of them on Sweetie Belle’s hoof. Both realized the position they had placed themselves in and quickly scooted away from one another. “Sorry,” Spike apologized.
“I-it’s fine…." Sweetie said, trying to ignore a growing feeling in her chest. "Hey um… Spike… do you mind if I tell you something?” Sweetie asked.
“Yeah, sure, what is it?”
Before Sweetie could answer, the remaining foals exited the ice cream shop. “Hey, Sweetie Belle, I think it’s time to go. We need to be at the train station early, remember?” Scootaloo said, nudging her on her shoulder.
“W-wait, I was… I need to…. Um…” Sweetie stammered. She turned to Spike and tried to think of something to say but failed. She decided to just do the first thing that came to mind. In an instant, her body moved.
Spike was shocked as he felt a soft, warm pair of lips press against his cheek. He tried to move, make a sound, anything, but found himself frozen. “I just wanted to say, thank you, for everything.” Sweetie Belle quickly dashed ahead of her group. For some reason, the heaviness in her chest was replaced by a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. She turned and called to her friends, urging them to hurry.
When they stopped smirking and followed Sweetie Belle, Spike stood alone in the curb; his claw touching the spot of his cheek that Sweetie Belle had kissed. After a few moments, when he could function as a normal dragon, he began his short journey back to the castle. He kept on rubbing his cheek as he walked down the road. He had no idea what he was feeling, but he did know one thing, he was strangely happy. He had many questions about the kiss, but they could wait. After all, he would see Sweetie again soon. Until then, he had plenty to do to pass the time.
“Hi Spines,” Sweetie Belle greeted as she entered her room. The porcupine opened one eye, and lazily rolled off the bed. Sweetie Belle picked him up and got into her bed, laying Spines down on a spare pillow. The porcupine blinked. Sweetie Belle giggle to herself before answering, “It was nice.”
“And Gross,” Scootaloo said. “I can’t believe you kissed Spike!”
“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said.
“I know! No freaking out. I can still say it is gross though. So when we get home, if we’re not too grounded, what do you guys want to do?”
“I say we crusade!” Sweetie Belle said, raising her hoof. “We’ve all had a nice break and The Cutie Mark Crusaders even have a mascot now!” She said, lifting up the porcupine.
“Seriously, what’s the deal with the porcupine?”
“Spike took too long to get me, we bonded, I’m keeping him,” Sweetie Belle answered.
“If ya say so,” Apple Bloom sighed. “So, what do you think we should try next time?”
“Oh I know, Cutie Mark Crusaders: Chemists!” Scootaloo said.
“Best. Idea. Ever.” Sweetie Belle agreed.
Spike finally stopped rubbing his cheek just as he came to the entrance of the castle. The moment he entered, he was greeted by a smiling alicorn. “You’re back early,” Celestia said. “Sweetie Belle and her friends aren’t doing anything they shouldn’t, right?”
“No, they just had to head back early,” Spike said.
“Hmm, so I’m guessing things went well then?” Celestia said. “I don’t think your smile can get any bigger.”
It took a moment, but Spike finally realized that he was smiling, “Um… yeah, I guess… I’m kinda, tired, is it okay if I go to bed?” He asked.
“It’s okay, but you and I are spending the day together tomorrow. After all, you owe me for getting Discord involved with your friend’s little fight.”
Spike sighed as his head bent downward. “Understood. Good night, Princess.”
“Goodnight, Spike.”
Spike navigated through the endless halls until he came to his room. He hopped on his bed and pulled the last of Celestia’s diaries. He was excited to read this one; the date it had put it only a year away from when she first met Twilight, the same day he was born. He opened the book up, and began to read.
Author's Note
The End... or is it to be continued? ... It's the second one, defiantly the second one. Anyway, what did you guys think of it overall? I'd like to know why anyone favorite or like the story. Also, if anyone has any questions about why I chose to writes characters the way I did, I'll try to answer them as best I can, also I'll try to answer any shipping questions the best I can without giving anything too big away.
Several alarms in several rooms began to go off rousing most of the foals on the 24th floor. Rumble, Pip, and Button Mashed peered out of their room to see if it was safe to enter the hallway. “Okay, I think it’s safe,” Button said, slowly stepping out of the room. Rumble and Pip reluctantly followed, their bags taken down by an overworked, underpaid bellhop.
They had to be careful; one mistake could cost them their lives. After last night, Diamond Tiara replaced each of their top fears. The dark seemed less dark to Pip, Button Mash thought ceramic dolls with empty, soulless eyes were actually kinda cute now, and Rumble felt like he could stare the animatronics at a pizzeria in the face without flinching. But Diamond Tiara? She was terror incarnate.
“Okay, if we can make it to the train, and if Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon don’t hate us too much, we should be able to make it back to ponyville with minimal damage sustained, and if anything goes wrong, Pip will take one for the team.” Button Mash said.
“Wait, why me?! You got us into this; you should be the meat shield!” Pip complained.
“Pip, Button Mash wouldn’t last more than a couple of seconds against those two… or anypony for that matter,” Rumble said.
“And I would?”
“Well, no, but you’re the small, cute, hyper one, she’s way less likely to kill you than she would Button, or me for that matter. In terms of survival rates, yours is the highest.”
“Yeah, and plus, Rumble and I have parents, we have something to lose!” Button pointed out.
“I have parents to, you bleedin’ moron! Just because I can’t bring you blokes to my house, doesn’t mean I’m an orphan!” Pip shouted.
“Well… you weren’t curb stumped!”
“At least you got money out of your beating!” Pip argued. “I felt two pops when she kicked me!”
As his friends argued about who should be the meat shield in case things went south, Rumble had a moment of genius. There was one thing they didn’t try, that could effectively resolve everything. “Guys, just stop!” Rumble shouted, gaining the attention of his friends. “Let’s face the facts, we messed up and, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think we should apologize to Silver Spoon.”
“But they’re bullies! If anything, we deserve a sorry!” Button argued.
“Thank you for stating the obvious, Button!” Rumble laughed. “Look, if we try to avoid them, we’ll just freak ourselves out and eventually get pounded for something else we do in the future,” Rumble stated, his voice returning to it’s serious, slightly high pitched tone. “Look I know it’s risky, I know stupid and we’ll probably get the crap beat out of use again, but at least we’ll have whole heartily apologized. Besides, you two owe me a risky and stupid moment, and I have the scars to prove it. So trust me on this.”
“But Rumble we want to live,” Button Mash stated. “Think about that. All of us, including you, want to live. You are saying we should commit suicide. Notice the conflict of interest.”
“Button Mash, did I mention that since her dad's rich she might have a diamond sword?”
“We must apologize to her this instant!” Button proclaimed.
After hours of showering, Diamond Tiara had finally managed to wash the smell of losers, lamers, and weird dragon thing off herself. Silver Spoon was finishing her own shower, and since she loved to have her mane braided perfectly, Diamond knew she had at least thirty minutes before Silver Spoon was ready.
She didn’t mind. In fact, Diamond Tiara was just glad she would ever have to look back on last night ever again. In fact, last night never even happened. She and Silver Spoon just shared a horrible, collective nightmare. It would never be more than that.
There was a knock on her hotel room door, followed by the sound of a complete and utter loser. “Um, Silver Spoon, can we talk?” It asked.
Diamond Tiara opened the door, her expression dropping several miles as a result. “Oh great, Twiddle Dumb, Twiddle Dumber, and Twiddle Mentally Challenged, what do you three want?” She respectively asked Rumble, Pip, and Button Mash.
Rumble pushed Button forward and motioned for him to say something. “I wanted to tell Silver Spoon that I’m… what am I again, Rumble?”
“Sorry,” Rumble sighed.
“Yeah, scared out of my mind!” Button said. “So are we cool? I think we’re cool. Can I have a diamond sword now?”
“Twiddle Dumber, translate,” Diamond demanded.
“He meant to say he’s sorry for last night, even though you two dames harass most of the class and kinda deserved it in a way,” Pip said.
Diamond’s eyes began to narrow. “Hmm, it sounded like you said you were sorry, but then you said something that sounded like ‘punch me, punch me, for the love of Celestia, just punch me!’.”
“No!” Pip said without a moment’s hesitation. “I meant to say we’d do anythin’ to make it up to you!”
Diamond was about to make a smart retort, but then paused. “Anything?” Diamond Tiara said, arching an eyebrow. Anything sounded good, no matter who was offering it. She could make them her slaves if she wanted. However, their actions didn’t hurt her, they went for her best friend, her only friend. Sure, she could force them to carry her and Silver Spoon’s bags, get the three of them to give them hooficures, or have them do their homework for a month, but what would they learn? Nopony actually saw what she did to them last night, so an example still needed to be made. An eye for an eye as it were. “You know, why don’t you three wait here, while I think of a few things?” She said, smirking.
The three colts waited ten minutes before Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came out of their room. The fillies smirked as they dragged the colts into the room. Thirty minutes passed and the colts left the room, reluctant to serve their sentence. Button Mash, Pipsqueak, and Rumble walked down stairwell with scowls on their faces. “You had to say anything, didn’t you?” Rumble said, glaring at Pip.
“I thought we’d have to carry the dames’ bags, I didn’t think they’d make us do this! Besides, does it matter much? We’re alive and both them dames forgave us. Who cares if we look horrible?” Pip defended.
“Come on, you guys, it’s not that bad. Just think of it as a think of it as a quest. The second we get home, we level up!” Button said, trying to put a positive spin on it.
“Button, here’s a side quest for you. Shut up,” Rumbled sighed. “Come on, I bet if we hurry, we can avoid everypony and make it to the train station with what little dignity we have left.” Rumble said, opening the stairway door leading to the lobby. The three stepped into the lobby and only to be caught in a large flash.
“Looking good boys!” Silver Spoon called, laughing at them with Diamond Tiara. About fifteen other students were with them, all of them laughing as hard as possible.
The request that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had was simple, they wanted to put make-up on the three of the colts. Unfortunately, the make-up was not subtle. All three of them wore the brightest Red lipstick, had bursting blue shadow on, complete with fake eyelashes, and had the pinkest shade of blush anypony could imagine. Button and Rumble were complete with a black beauty mark on their left cheek.
“Et tu, Shady Daze?” Rumble asked when another camera flash dazed him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll probably shred the pictures,” Shady Daze said. He would not shred the pictures.
Scootaloo’s official Rainbow Dash Alarm Clock was loud and obnoxious, just like the mare herself, because Applejack and Rarity were cooler. At least that was what Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle told themselves.
The three fillies moaned as they dragged themselves out of bed. Last night had to be a dream, or rather a collective nightmare. They were nice to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The mere thought of it chilled their souls. Well, it chilled the souls of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, Sweetie’s mind focused on another part of the night. Specifically, her time spent with Spike.
“So, about last night, are you and Spike a thing now?” Scootaloo asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
“Just shut up,” Sweetie Belle groaned as she picked up her porcupine. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo proceeded to collect what little things they still had left on the floor and placed their belongings in their bags. The three fillies slowly and miserably dragged their things onto an elevator and descended to the lobby. Passing a large group of laughing foals, the three friends headed straight for the train station. They arrived at 7:15, before any other pony in their class, including Cheerilee.
As the scheduled departure time drew near, more and more foals poured onto the train station, with a flushed Cheerilee being the last to arrive. Unfortunately, her coffee with the guard she met last night ran a little longer than planned, though fact she was smiling was a good sign. Cheerilee hurried the rest of foals onto the train after a quick head count.
An attendant took Sweetie’s bags and placed them in a random compartment, before attending to the other foals in need of help. She took a seat across from Apple Bloom and next to Scootaloo. The three of them sat across the row from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Nothing was said between the two groups; they simply turned their heads towards the window and intently looked towards the scenery.
At eight o’clock, a final call was made and the train began to pull out of the station.
Sweetie Belle sat on the train in a trance with one question still lingering in her mind. What was going to happen now? She had kissed Spike, and she knew he wasn’t going to think that it was nothing. What she had done could make things awkward when he came to Rarity’s shop. She knew for certain that she was going to be on the receiving end of many jokes and various forms of teasing. At least she could be glad that with the end of the field trip, school was officially out for the summer.
Summer. She always loved summer; she loved it even more now that she had a pet. He was unofficially her pet of course, as her parents still needed to okay him. With Spines around she would at least she have somepony to talk to if Apple Bloom and Scootaloo couldn’t hangout.
Sweetie Belle continued looking out the window, deep in thought until she was snapped her back to reality was the sound of a whistle blowing. Sweetie Belle looked outside and saw that the train was coming to a stop at Ponyville. Most of the foals’ guardians were there, waiting to pick up their children. The train stopped with a small jerk and the doors opened. Most of the foals collected their things, and rushed off the train, but Sweetie Belle waited until her friends were with her. When they were together, and Scootaloo scared off Shady Daze, the three took their first steps off the train, ready to return to their normal lives and start the glorious event that was Summer Break.
Author's Note
The End, officially this time.
Spike the Dragon was called on official Canterlot business. It wasn’t the first time, nor would it be his last, but he felt annoyed. Princess Celestia had procured him his own private car; no, this was not why he was annoyed, he was annoyed because three of his friends had forced their way into his room. It was not any of the Main Six, it was the CMC or Cutie Mark Crusaders: Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, his beloved’s little sister. Their class was apparently scheduled to spend 5 days in Canterlot on an extended end of year field trip to see the sites of the capital city. Unfortunately, the CMC shared the same train as Spike.
Seeing as they were supposed to sit with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, The Crusaders were more than happy to enter Spike’s humble room. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were talking about how they would see the Castle’s guards and how cool it would be to get cutie marks in self-defense or as foot soldiers. Spike could only imagine the amount of bandages they would need to fix that adventure… or the amount of money that it would cost to fix.
The train came to a halt early in the afternoon, just as Celestia’s sun peeked in the sky. With his duties heavy on his mind, Spike made his way to the Castle while the CMC made their way to their teacher. When he reached the castle, he was met with a warm welcome. Like always, Celestia stood at the gates with a smile. “Welcome, Spike,” She said as she used her magic to draw him close to her head. She nuzzled him a little too affectionately.
“Princess, this is getting weird,” Spike said after a while, trying to free himself from the aura. He was placed on the ground as the Princess blushed from embarrassment.
“I apologize, Spike. I got carried away. Now, the summit is Thursday. So until then, please, enjoy yourself these next few days.”
Spike smiled, “I always do Princess.” He knew exactly where to go. When on personal trips, Celestia made certain to procure Spike a small suite; his room as he liked to call it. Spike dropped his small bag of belongings in his suite. It was just as he left it the last time he came. There was even a row of his Power Ponies comics still above his dresser, waiting to be read. “I hope that you enjoy the accommodations,” Celestia smiled.
“Everything’s great,” Spike said as he hopped on the bed, slowly sinking into the cloud like mattress. Sighing, he closed his eyes. Celestia took this as her queue to leave. Spike dozed off for just a few moments, only to wake up to the sound of three fillies.
“Come on Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo begged, “if the guards catch us, we’re in big trouble.”
“But aren’t you two looking for the training room?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Yeah, but we're kind of near the personal suites.... I really don't think we're supposed to be here.”
The door to Spike’s room opened and the fillies turned around. “Why are you three in here? Do not answer that, I already know why,” Spike sighed. “Look, I can tell you how this ends… It ends badly. Guards will find you, Celestia will bail you out because the case of the murderous, school fillies sounds stupid, and then Ms. Cheerilee keeps you on the world’s shortest leash for the rest of this trip… Tell me I am wrong,” Spike demanded.
“And yer solution?” Apple Bloom inquired.
“…I cannot believe what I’m doing,” Spike muttered. “Follow me.”
There are times when fillies would be left in shock. For the CMC, this was one of those times. When the drake talked to the guard in front of the training room, the Guard was as submissive as any servant in the castle was. “So do you think you can show them around, maybe give them a quick run through with some practice weapons? The stable foam ones, I mean.”
“I don’t see why not,” The guard saluted. He opened the door and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo ran into the training room, giggling uncontrollably. Sweetie Belle let out a soft sigh as she followed her two friends.
In the first few minutes, Sweetie Belle was being pushed to her limit. “Come on!” the head guard shouted, “Trot faster you piece of trash! Are you a stallion or a filly?!” Was it a legitimate question? She was a filly! She was a filly, not a colt wanting to join the army! She liked tea parties, going shopping with her mom and sister, playing dress up, and not running around as some roided out stallion yelled at her. “Come on, two fillies are already done! Those two fillies make you look weak! Actual ten-year-old fillies are worth more than you! Do you hear me you piece of trash?!” He kept on flinging insults at her, slowly breaking down her emotional barriers. “If you can’t handle this then why don’t you just leave!?” he shouted. “Go into the hall and cry, you worthless maggot!” Sweetie tore from the training group, tears welling in her eyes, and ran out into the hall. “Why did that filly just leave?” the guard asked himself. Shrugging he continued to yell at the colt he had been yelling at the entire time, “Lieutenant, did I say you could slow down!? Keep trotting! I mean come on, I’ve been yelling at you since the start of this session and you still suck! The filly that just left had more brass then you did!”
For some reason, Spike waited outside the door for a few minutes. He expected the CMC to come out in just a few minutes, begging to be led to the lunchroom or the kitchen to earn a cutie mark in fine dining or eating, but after twenty minutes, only Sweetie Belle came out. She let out an exasperated sigh and leaned against the wall, keeping her eyes shut. “Just don’t cry, you not worthless,” she silently said to herself. The guard was just like Diamond Tiara; his opinion meant nothing… right? She rubbed her eyes dry before leaning against the wall.
“Are you okay, Sweetie Belle?” Spike asked.
She let out a small hmm, and opened her eyes. “Oh, hey Spike. Yeah I’m fine…” She sighed. “Just trying to get my cutie mark… as always… doing things that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo suggest… getting hurt in someway... like always…. ” Sweetie mumbled the last part under her breath, but it was enough for Spike to understand.
“So, I take it you don’t exactly like what they suggest?” Spike asked.
“It’s not that…” she whimpered. “I mean it is fun and all, but we always try things that… I hate. When I suggest that we get cutie marks doing modeling or sewing, they just pretend to gag saying that’s too girly or not as awesome as something Rainbow Dash would do.” She closed her eyes again, letting out a sigh before opening them again, “the thing is, I am girly. I’m a girl! I don’t know…. I just want to do something a little different for once.”
Spike saw exhaustion in her eyes. He could understand doing something that he didn't really want to do. The least he could do was help her out for a day. “Would you rather go into the city?"
"... Sure, I wouldn't mind it."
"What do you want to do? All you have to do is say it and I’ll be up for it.” It was something Twilight had hammered into his head, reaching out the hoof/claw of friendship to someone that could use it.
“…Would you mind doing something girly?” she asked sheepishly.
Sweetie Belle felt a surge of joy as she showed off yet another dress she would probably never buy. Spike sat patiently giving her feedback. The enter day he went to every store she wanted to enter, letting her try on every dress she wanted to. Luckily, the clerks saw it more cute than annoying. She didn’t crusade; instead she just had fun with a friend. “So how do I look?” she smugly asked, twirling.
“I would say you look good… actually amazing, but not as amazing as Rarity. Sorry, but you still have a while to go before you look as good as her.”
Sweetie let out a loud humph, “Is that anyway to talk to a lady?”
“No,” Spike said, “but come on, you’re like number two on my top ten mares/fillies…” Sweetie Belle merely turned her head, trying to look disgusted but coming off as amused. “Okay… You’ve twisted my arm. Look me in the eye and I’ll take you to the greatest place in all of Canterlot… besides the castle.”
“… I’m listening….”
Meanwhile, Scootaloo savagely put a recruit in his place after he said the most disrespectful thing in the world, “This will teach you!” Scootaloo’s hoof met the colt’s face. It was well deserved though. Again, the colt had said the dumbest, blaspheming thing in the entirety of the world. “How dare you! Say what you said again and I swear to Celestia, I will end you!”
“Sir, shouldn’t we stop her!? I don’t think Skull Crusher’s leg should be bending that way!”
The commander nodded in accordance and sent two colts to pry Scootaloo off of the recruit. When they got close to the filly, they were smacked across the muzzle and given an equally savage beating.
While this happened, no pony noticed Apple Bloom break away from the group. She entered what one of the guards described as the weapons vault that would get a stallion executed for even thinking of going in there and using anything. Inside there were mostly enchanted spears or armor, but one weapon stood out amongst the rest. It was a simple orb. One that had a sign under it that read ‘Do Not Touch’. Apple Bloom was an adventurer though, about to get her cutie mark as part of the royal guard. Touching the orb would probably give her awesome powers or even more experience for managing weapons. She reached out her hoof and touched it. “Explosive armed,” the orb said, coming to life with a bright light, “Detonation in thirty seconds... Please get home safely and have a nice day.”
“Well… let's just cancel that….” she tried to stop the countdown by touching the orb again.
"Detonation in 22 seconds…" She touched it again. "15 seconds…" She tried one last time. "Nine seconds… if you have not yet figured it out, touching this form of explosive will only significantly speed up the countdown…" The orb finally admitted. "Eight seconds…. Seven Seconds…”
Apple Bloom dashed out of the room only to slam the vault door close, praying it would contain the explosion. She silently counted down to zero until she heard a muffled boom. The door held, but the crevasses seeped out a thick black smoke. Nothing went unnoticed. “...You touched The Orb… didn’t you?” The head guard asked.
Apple Bloom saw that Scootaloo had been restrained using a coat meant for a dangerous mental patient. “….How much trouble are we in?” Apple Bloom asked, knowing what would happen next.
Sweetie looked through the endless rows of ice cream. Spike said this shop had the best choices, but she didn’t know one place could have this many flavors. “Are you going to decide?” The clerk asked. “Look, I need you to either make a choice and pay or get out.”
“Mm. I guess I’ll have… Mint Chocolate Chip!” She finally decided. The clerk loaded a cone with two scoops and handed it to the filly.
“I guess that you’re paying?” The clerk asked Spike.
“I have a choice?” Spike said, putting a diamond on the counter.
The stallion let out a gasp as he gawked at the gem. “Kid, I think you just saved my marriage.” The stallion pocketed the gem and returned to his work.
Sweetie Belle ate her ice cream with a satisfied smile. “Thanks, the others would have probably dragged me to safety when they saw me look at the first dress shop.”
“Do they hate it that much?” Spike asked eating a small spoonful of ice cream at a time.
“I don’t think so, I think Apple Bloom just wants to find her cutie mark in something Diamond Tiara wouldn’t do in a million years and Scootaloo wants to earn Rainbow Dash’s respect. Spike, what time is it?”
The Dragon shrugged, “I don’t know, late afternoon? Why, meeting your boyfriend?” He playfully asked.
“No, but I need to meet Ms. Cheerilee at the hotel for check in, if any of us are late for curfew we have to follow Ms. Cheerilee’s original class schedule.”
“What’s so bad about that?” Spike asked, finishing off his frozen treat.
“Twilight helped Ms. Cheerilee make it.”
“Oh, so you’ll be doing ultra-boring stuff,” Spike sighed. “I’m sorry, if I knew I would have stopped her.”
“Look, the Hotel is right around here, think you can drop me off?” She batted her eye lashes.
“…Why are you...?”
“Rarity said that whenever I ask a colt do something, I should bat my eyelashes to give it effect.”
“Oh… Okay, why not?”
Cheerilee couldn't even think straight. Getting a call about the CMC causing 25,000 bits worth of damages was not how she wanted her 'educational' trip to go. "You three...!”
“Two,” Apple Bloom corrected, “Sweetie Belle left before Scoots hospitalized them three recruits and before ah blew up the room and incinerated every single weapon,” Apple Bloom admitted.
“Sorry, force of habit. You two are in so much trouble! First off, Scootaloo, why did you attack the first army recruit?!”
“He said something so wrong that I had to take action! He said that Shining Armor could take Rainbow Dash in a fight. What was I supposed to do!?” Scootaloo asked, angrily.
“Not attack him! You put that poor colt in critical condition! And Apple Bloom, when you see a sign that says ‘Do Not Touch’, why do you ignore it?”
“Come on we were victims of circumstances,” Apple Bloom answered. “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s Spike’s!”
“So Spike forced Scootaloo to attack and beat three recruits and you to blow up an armory?”
“Well… no… but come on! We can’t be the only ones that messed up!” Scootaloo argued.
“You’re not,” Ms. Cheerilee sighed, “Snips and Snails were being Snips and Snails; they’ll be joining you two on the trip to the Star Swirl museum tomorrow, The Princess Museum the day after, and the… incredibly long lectures for the next four days.” The CMC and Cheerilee let out frustrated groans just as Sweetie Belle entered the room.
“Am I interrupting something?” all heads turned to see Sweetie standing next to Spike.
"Just us getting yelled at," Apple Bloom mumbled.
Cheerilee let out a sigh as she faced the young filly. "Okay Sweetie Belle, what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"The damages, how much money are we talking? 1000 bits, 10000 bits?"
"I just got Ice cream with Spike... I didn't do anything except window shop."
Cheerilee could hear a choir of angels sing. For the first time in a long time, one of the CMC didn't cause massive property damages. Instead she went... shopping like a normal filly. She even charmed a dragon that stemmed from a relatively high class family to take her around the city. But how... why? Her answer lied with the young dragon, he was what kept Sweetie Belle out of trouble! He was what would keep her from hitting the mini bar during her stay! All she had to do was keep them together. "Spike~" Cheerilee said in a song like voice.
"Um... Yes, Ma'am?"
"Can you do me a favor? This is huge! Since Scootaloo and Apple Bloom are unable to keep Sweetie Belle company, I need you to make sure that she does not cause thousands of bits worth of damages.... Can you do that?" Her eye began to twitch as did her smile. Spike could tell she was close to snapping. "Here's a schedule of check in times and class events.... you literally need to make sure she comes to the one on Friday and only the one on Friday if you choose to keep her."
“O-okay, I can do that." Spike took the schedule. "I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Sweetie Belle,” Spike waved. He quickly made his way out of the hotel before Cheerilee’s psychosis could deepen.
“Bye Spike!” Sweetie Belle sang. “So, what did I miss?”
“Wow, that much?” Sweetie Belle said as she nestled into her hotel bed.
“Yeah, I think the only reason we didn't go to jail was because I showed up War Trotter’s top trainee and Apple Bloom destroyed every weapon that was labeled as 'Too Dangerous for Anypony to Wield,” Scootaloo mussed. “But I have to say, four days of school is going to suck. What about you, what did you do?”
“Me? Well, Spike showed me around, we went into a few stores and I tried on some dresses, then we got lunch at a Café my sister said I had to try, we went window shopping for a little while longer, and then we got ice cream,” She mussed. “It was the best day of my life…! Aside from the Sister Hooves Social.”
“Well I hoped you enjoyed having fun ‘cause our will falls to you,” Apple Bloom said cryptically.
“I’m sorry?”
“You are the only crusader that is free to roam the city, and as such, the only one able to carry our will. Earn your cutie mark, for us,” Scootaloo urged. “And pray that we don’t die from boredom… Why did Twilight need to get involved in our class trip? Doesn’t she know that the point of an educational end of year field trip is not to learn?”
Sweetie Belle let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, blocking out her friend's 'I Hate School Speech'. She needed her rest for tomorrow.
“You spent the day with whom?” Celestia inquired as Spike ate his dinner, smirking as if she heard a joke.
Spike shrugged as he munched on his pasta and gems, “Just Sweetie Belle.”
“So does this mean Rarity is no longer the object of your affection?” Celestia asked with a large grin.
“I never said that! I was asked to keep her out of trouble and to make sure she shows up at these times.” He handed Celestia a sloppily folded schedule. Celestia skimmed the document, her wide grin growing wider.
“Well I think it’s very sweet that you would escort Miss Belle during her stay… and might I add, I wish I could see you dance with her.”
“Yeah, I thought…. Wait, what?” Spike grabbed back the schedule from Celestia and skimmed down to the last item of the list that said Dance. “… I swear to you, I did not know about this last part.”
“Oh Spike… I can just imagine it, you escorting the blushing filly to the ball room.”
“No,” Spike retorted.
“She nestles into your shoulder, swaying to the flow of music.”
“No,” Spike repeated.
“And then you two make eye contact,”
“No,” Spike continued.
"You two close your eyes and lean in.”
“No!”
“And you share your first kiss.”
“No, no, no!” Spike shouted.
“Spike, I’m only teasing. Still though, just make sure to treat her opposite of how Blueblood treats mares.” Celestia smirked, “I suggest you get to bed after you eat, ladies like when their dates are on time.”
Spike let out a sigh. He was never going to hear the end of it. Before Celestia could continue to tease him more, Spike left for his room. He needed to erase the image of Sweetie Belle and him kissing out of his head.
Author's Note
My first fic. Feel free to point out any lingering mistakes and issues.
Day 4 (Spike and Sweetie Belle's Day)
“Spike, it’s time to get up,” Celestia gently cooed.
Spike could feel the tip of a wing gently stroke his head. Slowly, he opened his eyes. “No, never, let me sleep forever,” Spike begged. He went to sleep late last night and he didn’t want to get up at six in the morning. He felt a cold burst of air as the covers were torn from his body. Letting out a moan, he slowly lifted himself from the bed. Celestia used her magic to lift him up and place him on her back. Spike knew what to expect as she trotted down the hall. They entered a dressing room and Spike was taken from Celestia.
Many cloths were pressed hard against Spike’s hide and spun in a circular manner. Part one of looking good for a visiting king was having a well-polished hide. Of course, this meant that Blueblood’s personal groomers had to wipe his entire body down and then polish every single one of his scales.
“I don’t understand why you’re wasting time and talent on the dragon,” Blueblood whispered to Celestia as he watched his groomers waste their talents on the interloper.
Celestia’s body grew tense, “Blueblood, he has a name and you will address him as such.”
“Of course,” Blueblood sighed. “Any other interlopers that I can expect to see in the castle?”
“None that I know of,” She answered with a sigh.
After two hours of polishing, Spike was finally placed on the ground. His hide glistened like the do on the morning dew the clung to the grass and he shot off light like a mirror. “I am so glad that I can blind Equestria’s enemies,” Spike sarcastically mumbled. He couldn’t get distracted by his shining body, it was eight o’clock; the Griffin King was set to arrive at nine, giving Spike an hour to prepare for Sweetie Belle’s arrival. Spike quickly ran off, allowing Blueblood to make good use of his groomers, much to their dismay.
Spike had one job; he had to make sure Sweetie Belle could get through the front gates of the castle. He ran the entire way to the castle entrance, stopping only when he saw the two stallions that stood guard. “Excuse me, guards?” he tapped on the stallions’ legs. The guards stood at attention, saluting the dragon. “Uh… yeah, hi. Look, a filly’s going to come by later today to pick up a dress. She has a white fur, curly pink and light purple hair, and green eyes. If you guys see her just let her in, okay?”
“Sure, yeah, we could do that,” One of the guards answered. With Sweetie Belle taken care of, Spike ran to the throne room, arriving with 25 minutes to spare.
Taking his place, he stood at the side of Celestia’s throne. He couldn’t hear much, probably because he didn’t actually care to listen, but from the parts he did catch, Celestia and Luna privately talked strategy for the upcoming summit and judging by the conversation’s intensity, this was probably a discussion of war… or worse. If things went south, he would probably need to abandon his job as a scribe and become an awesome dragon knight that everypony loved and respected.
He could see it now, he would be muscle bound, powerful, a true dragon knight in the eyes of all. Even Rarity would swoon at the mere sight of him. He could just imagine how the Griffin King would react. He would probably surrender the mere second he saw Spike.
Fan fair began to play and the king entered. Spike’s mouth dropped and his eyes widened when he finally saw the king. “Greetings my friends!” The king laughed as he approached the princesses.
Scratch that last thought, the griffin king would probably laugh at Spike. Spike felt small, smaller than he normally did. The king spoke with a loud booming voice, one that could be heard on the other side of Canterlot if the king wanted it to, and every step he took seemed to shake the room. To back up his over powering size, the king was buff. He looked like he could bench-press the castle and then crush it in his bare talons. It was almost as if his skin shrunk to emphasize every muscle in his body. Spike was pretty sure his muscles had muscles. The only question Spike had was what stopping this guy from killing everypony in this room and taking over Equestria?
“Celestia, so good to see you again!” The king laughed as he pulled Celestia into a hug. The princess merely laughed and whispered something into the king’s ear. The king chuckled and released her, moving onto Luna.
“Greetings, King Beefcake,” Luna said reaching out her hoof.
“I see Celestia told you my nickname.” The king said. “Oh, princess, no need for hoof shakes, we’re all friends here!” He grabbed the out reached hoof and pulled Luna in to a tight hug, much to her protest.
“So you must be Spike!” Beefcake said, turning to the dragon as he released Luna.
Spike could only nod.
“I take it you’re the scribe for this meeting?”
Another nod, followed by a frightened squeak.
He laughed. “I was sure that Celestia would have hired you for security. After all, I hear dragons are quite the formidable fighters.” He ruffled Spike’s spines and preceded with the conversation, “So, how did a princess get a dragon for a son? It must have been quite the tale!”
“Well I was found as an egg and hatched, true story. Also, Twilight is more of my… actually, I don’t know what she is…. Friend, I guess? But either way, she’s not my mom,” Spike answered.
“Wait, you think I refer to Princess Twilight? I always thought your mother was-”
“So!” Celestia interrupted, “I say we begin the summit going, Spike, please go into the meeting room, we will join you shortly.” She gave him a wide grin, shoving the dragon and her sister into the room. the door closed and Spike took a seat in front of a pen and parchment and waited for the last two royals to enter.
She couldn’t help but feel a little excited. After all, she was about to get her new dress. Sweetie Belle smiled as she approached the two stallions. “Excuse me, sirs? I’m here to pick up a dress.”
“We know, just go on in,” one of the guards told her. Sweetie Belle smiled as she pranced into the castle. Now started the hard part of Sweetie’s journey; finding the fitting room so she could get her dress.
The meeting had been going on for almost an hour, and already Spike was ready to kill himself. His head began to bobble up and down as his eyes began to fail him. As each second past, his grip on the pen loosened and his wrist’s movement began to slow. What made it worse was the topic being discussed. He couldn’t even pretend to care about what to serve at the Equestria Games. There was literally one griffin team from the Griffin Kingdom. There were no other reasons why griffins were coming besides that one team. Maybe if he fell asleep he could dream of Rarity… and a mountain of ice-cream. As he drew closer to his dreamland, Spike felt his shoulder tapped. He turned and found Luna giving him a look of disappointment. He forced himself to wake up and write again.
Prince Blueblood was a simple stallion; all he ever asked for was that everything be perfect every second of everyday. And with his mane fashioned to his liking, everything was perfect. He looked and smelled divine, his fur was softer than anything he could name, and the lizard his aunt let into the castle was held up in room somewhere attending a summit. Life was good… except for that filthy street urchin that roamed the halls for some reason.
Her mere appearance wanted to make Blueblood vomit. She had a disgusting, unkempt curly mane with a white coat that was obviously dirty from her time outside on the streets. Why such a filthy unicorn was allowed into the castle was a mystery. “No, no, no!” He declared, marching up to the filly.
Sweetie Belle wasn’t given a chance to respond. Before she knew it, she was trapped in Blueblood’s aura. “Hey, what are you doing?!”
“What does it look like? I don’t know how a disgusting child such as yourself managed to get into the castle, but let me be the one to take you out!”
Spike’s eyes slowly closed as the jokes and conversations between Celestia and King Beefcake became jumbled. When his eyes finally fell shut, he expected to have a dream involving Rarity, but instead he heard a soft scream. His eyes slightly opened. He tried to hone in on the scream, but faded into the noise that came from the summit he was supposed to transcribe. He shook off any lingering feeling of concern and closed his eyes once again. When he did though, the scream became clearer.
Spike’s fully opened his eyes. He swore he heard something that time. He shut his eyes one last time and tuned out the chatter from the summit. Spike thought he was imagining things but the cry for help was real.
It wasn’t a scream of peril or one of utter despair, no, it was a scream of annoyance. It took a second to put a name to the voice, but the high pitched, squeaks and voice cracks were unmistakable. After all, he had heard them a thousand times before. It was Sweetie Belle. Whatever was happening he felt obligated to help. After all, he did promise she would be able to enter the castle without any trouble. “Princess,” Spike whispered, tapping Celestia’s leg, gaining her attention. “Um… I think I hear Sweetie Belle screaming for help.”
Celestia let out a sigh, as she closed her eyes. She remembered when she hated being in summits, well, she still did, but at least some of the royals like King Beefcake made it enjoyable. “If you wanted to leave, you could at least try to make a better excuse… You can go; I’ll have Luna transcribe the rest of the meeting.”
Spike bowed and quickly left the room, following the screams that that had kept him from his nap. It was lucky he had superior hearing; otherwise, the cries would have gone on unnoticed by anypony that could actually do anything about them. He felt just a twinge of anger when he saw what was happening and who was causing Sweetie Belle to shout. “What do you think you’re doing!?” Spike asked with a growl.
Blueblood turned to see Spike running over to him. “Oh, great,” He mumbled, “What do you want, Interloper?”
“First off, you know that’s not my name. Second, what are you doing to my friend!?”
Blueblood rolled his eyes as he let out a loud groan of frustration. He should have known the dragon let the filly in; why else would someone so dirty and annoying be allowed in? “I am just taking this filthy creature you call your friend and depositing of her outside in the streets where she belongs.”
“I’m not filthy!” Sweetie Belle snapped.
“Oh please you have a layer of dust around your coat that makes it look like you just crawled out of a dumpster!” Blueblood declared. It was true, while the unicorn in his grasp had only an ivory coat; Blueblood had an overly perfect, pristine snow-white coat. The difference was overly taxing.
“Don’t talk to her like that!” Spike demanded. “I invited her into the castle. You can’t just throw her out!” Spike was growing angrier with each passing second.
Blueblood let out another one of his famous sighs, “… Look, Interloper-”
“Spike,” Spike corrected.
“Yes, yes. Look, as royalty to Canterlot we cannot allow street urchins to roam our halls, it would look undignified! Dare I say, barbaric!”
“Can I say something?!” In response, Blueblood used his magic to hold Sweetie’s mouth shut. She let out a few muffled screams, but fell silent when she realized Blueblood was not paying attention.
Spike growled lowly, but knew there was a simple way to deal with this. “I might not be a royal pony, but I do know one thing, my word holds weight with Celestia. What if I went and told her what was going on right now, what would she say?”
“… She’s in a meeting,” Blueblood countered.
“Yeah, she was also in a meeting during your and Twilight’s incident five years ago and you saw how fast she came. Wanna make the same bet again?”
Blueblood froze. Anyway he looked at it the dragon was right. Interloper was Celestia’s pet… her favorite pet. In any situation, the lizard was worth much more to Celestia than he was, and he was a prince. Then there were the insults he flung at the filly that vainly thrashed in his aura. If Celestia did get involved, it was a battle he would lose, and he wouldn’t just lose the battle, he would probably lose his personal groomers... worse, he would be forced to share his groomers for the rest of the dragons stay! “Okay, you win, Interloper.” Blueblood said, dropping Sweetie Belle on the ground. “But see to it she doesn’t spread her street germs everywhere.” Letting out a sigh of disgust, he left down a hall.
Spike clenched his fist. “Jerk… Are you okay?” He asked as he helped Sweetie to her hooves.
Sweetie Belle kicked some imaginary dirt at Blueblood. Rarity had told her that the Prince was a grade A Primadonna, but trying to kick her out because she looked ‘egg-shell white’ was pushing it. “Yeah, thanks….”
“So what were you doing before he showed up?”
“Looking for my dress,” Sweetie explained. “I was trying to find the fitting room, but then that jerk stopped me! Luckily, you showed up. Wait, aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting?”
“I was, but scribes are easy to replace. Besides, the meeting wasn’t too important. Wanna hang out?” Spike asked. “We could get your dress together if you want to.”
Sweetie Belle nodded and walked next to Spike. Normally, she would have felt embittered about what Blueblood had said to her. She would have normally focused on the insults and become angry, or at least pouty, but Spike proved to be quite the distraction, somehow getting her to laugh every other minute.
Spike on the other hand was happy just to have someone to talk with. Being slightly more mature for his age somewhat isolated him from other colts. In addition, his long hours in the library kept him from really making any friends outside the Mane 6. Although the CMC were his friends, calling them close friends was a bit of a reach. Well, calling Scootaloo a close friend was a reach. Apple Bloom and Spike had a small bond between them; they both knew the value of hard work. Moreover, he and Sweetie Belle had grown close over the past few days. Reflecting on his little vacation with her made him smile. If he were given the chance to go back and do things even slightly different, he would probably turn down the offer unless of course, it was a chance to spend the week with Rarity, but then again that was a no brainer.
Honey was in the middle of editing Sweetie’s dress. She just loved how it was coming along. She couldn’t lie, this dress was probably in her top five favorites. She heard the door to the room open. “Hey Honey Suckle, how’s the dress coming?”
“Not done yet,” Honey said as she continued to edit the dress. “I still need about two hours. Until then, you two need to entertain yourselves.”
Spike and Sweetie Belle let out groans of frustration. They walked out of the room and began to aimlessly roam the halls. Spike tried to think of something they could do. They could go to the castle gardens and see the animals, but then again, the animals were scared of ponies ever since Fluttershy’s incident at the gala a year ago. He was about to suggest they sit in his room and do nothing, when he had a brilliant yet potentially dangerous idea. “Hey Sweetie Belle, this is a weird question, but have you ever been in a Princess’s bedroom?”
Prince Blueblood entered the fitting room only minutes after Spike and Sweetie Belle left. He had come to collect his suit and like everything else, expected it to be perfect. “Dress maker is my suit ready… what on earth happened!?” He saw that his suit was significantly smaller than when he last saw it.
“Oh it’s you,” she sighed. Honey put her tools down and went over to a desk. She opened a draw and took out a flask. Taking a quick swig, she placed the flask back into the draw and closed it. She had practiced the speech a thousand times, but it made her stomach turn now that she was actually going to give it. “Well, your highness, I spent a long while trying to make the suit presentable, but then I had an epiphany, your request is impossible!” Honey said, dramatically turning around. “You asked me to make a suit that makes you shine brighter than any stallion there is, but how can I when you already shine brighter than any stallion there is?”
Blueblood was about to argue, but then thought about what she was saying. She was right. “Well… I suppose that’s a valid excuse, but why shrink it?”
“Well, there’s a filthy little reptile running around. I know it’s not much but I could use this suit to make him look presentable… although, I don’t think presentable is even a possibility.”
“I understand completely. You’re right though, it might not help. I’ll leave you to your work.” Blueblood respectfully bowed to the seamstress and left the room.
Sweetie Belle didn’t exactly know why she was so close to Spike. Maybe it was instinctive, that if she stayed close to him she wouldn’t get in trouble for being in Celestia’s bedroom. “Spike, I really don’t think you should do that,” Sweetie pleaded as Spike slid tiles around Celestia’s walls. “What if Celestia comes back?”
Spike didn’t pay attention to Sweetie’s pleas; he only seemed to care about the task at hand. He smiled when he heard a loud click as part of the wall opened. “She’s in the meeting room, so I wouldn’t be too worried.” Spike hopped for the best as a section of wall slowly began to open, while Sweetie was just shocked a wall was moving. The newly opened one had a row of books. Some looked like they hadn’t been touched in ages, while others seemed to be brand new. Spike took five books from the shelf he flipped through the contents and grinned. However, before leaving Spike noticed a folded up piece of paper in the back of the compartment. He shrugged, took the piece of paper, and placed it in one of the books. “Okay now we can go.”
Spike moved a tile and the row of books became hidden. However, much to his and Sweetie’s collective amazement a separate compartment opened. “Oh, so this is where she keeps her cake,” Spike nodded.
Sweetie Belle could only stare. In total, there were sixteen cakes, though some had more pieces missing than others.
“Want some Triple Chocolate Heaven, or the MMM?” Spike asked, reading from the labels. Taking a few steps forward, Sweetie looked over each of her options. She took a slice of Carrot Cake and took a small bite. It was the best cake she had ever tasted. Spike stole, no, borrowed three more slices of cake “Okay, now we can go. If reading Celestia’s personal thoughts while eating cake does not kill 2 hours, Twilight has found a way to stopped time.” Taking up the books and the Slices of cake, the two foals snuck into Spike’s room with only about fifty percent of the castle staff seeing them.
Celestia let out a painful gasp as she held her hoof to her head.
“Princess what’s the matter?” King Beefcake asked.
“I heard a slice of cake cry out for me and then silence.” Celestia got up to leave, but was stopped by her sister. “Come on, Luna, I only have one slice of Triple Chocolate Heaven left!”
“You are not leaving us alone with King Beefcake so you can check on your cakes! Besides, we’ve done nothing but joke and make fun of nobles, and talk about his daughter and Spike.”
Celestia let out a moan as she sat back down. Time slowed to mere crawl for Celestia. The jokes she once enjoyed were now annoying. She tapped on the table nervously like a crack addict that needed a fix. She had to move quickly. There was only one slice of each of her favorite cakes left and she swore she heard two more slices of cake cry out in horror. She read over the calligraphy Luna had written. She cursed when she saw that it was mostly jokes that poked fun at nobles and at their respective loved ones. The main purpose of this summit was to decide on a menu for the Equeastria Games. If she wanted to save her cakes, she would need to finish this now. “So, Beefcake, what would you like us to serve at the games? I don’t mean to rush things, but I do think we should get down to business. So what would your subjects enjoy?” Celestia asked, passing a clean sheet of paper to Luna.
Beefcake shrugged, “We would be fine with anything to be honest. Just serve what you were originally going to serve.”
“Good, I declare this summit resolved,” Celestia said as she dashed out of the meeting room.
“Hmm… Was that just so she can check on her cakes?”
“Yes,” Luna deadpanned. “Our sister has a problem. We think had it been anyone but the dragon, the reaction would have been worse.”
While sharing laughs at Celestia’s expense, two hours flew by for Spike and Sweetie Belle. They didn’t read anything too embarrassing, it was mostly just entries about childhood crushes on certain guards and days that Celestia seemed to be swamped by the first world problems of nobles. Spike saw the time and got Sweetie Belle’s attention. Helping her to her hooves, he covered Sweetie’s eyes as they made their way to the dressing room. “Okay, are you ready?” Spike asked, arriving at their destination. Sweetie’s only response was a nod followed by an excited giggle. Spike gave Honey the signal. The mare pulled back the curtains and Spike released Sweetie. There was a long silence as Sweetie stood looking at the dress with a blank face. “Do you not….” Spike was interrupted as Sweetie wrapped her legs around his neck.
“I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it! Thank you!” Sweetie then hugged Honey’s leg. “Thank you for making it for me!”
She loved it, and why wouldn't she? The main dress was a sky blue with blue colored lace that looked to be a blue version of the fabric her sister made when she went to Manehattan. Across the dress was a line of silver fabric that went under a light sky blue trimming. The dress was complete with a silver choker with a heart shaped sapphire embedded in it. “I’m going to look amazing!” She had to wait though; her sister said that a lady only showed off her dress when it came time for the event she was to attend. She was on cloud nine right now and somehow, it was all thanks to Spike. She could have sworn that he only did stuff like this for Rarity.
Spike chuckled happily as Sweetie Belle pranced around her dress, singing happily. He didn’t know why but it felt nice knowing that he, in a way, made her smile. What was weird was the fact that he felt his stomach begin to twist and his insides jerk. Before he knew it, he let out a stream of green fire into the air that ejected a scroll. Spike caught the letter and gave it a quick read. All it said was, ‘Urgent, send the filly home and come alone. Celestia.’ Spike looked up at Sweetie Belle. “Um… I might need to cut this a little short. Celestia just sent me a letter.”
Sweetie Belle’s face fell and inch, but she managed to keep a good portion of her smile. “O-Ok… See you later than?”
“Maybe, I don’t know, it says to send you back to the hotel… maybe we shouldn’t have raided her cake storage.”
“Oh… But I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Of course, until you leave, Ms. Cheerilee expects me to make sure you don’t blow anything up,” Spike chuckled, “you’re basically stuck with me.” Spike turned to head out the door. In all possibility, he probably wouldn’t see her for the rest of the week. Twilight once ate the princess’s cake, and she wasn’t allowed to read her text books for the rest of that month, instead Twilight was forced to spend time outside.
“Wait, before you go anywhere… Can I ask you something?” Sweetie Belle asked, grabbing Spike’s arm with what little magic she had.
“Sure, what is it?”
“Well… I have a dance I need to go to Friday, an awesome, amazing dress to wear, but I, a sophisticated lady, do not have anypony to escort me.” Upon hearing this, Honey leaned in closer to the two, taking in every word that came out of Sweetie Belle’s mouth. “So, as a friend, do you want to go to the dance with me?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“You mean… like a date?
“A friend date; it means absolutely nothing more than we’re friends,” she quickly explained.
“I don’t know…” Spike gave it some thought. On one hand, Rarity might find out, think he had moved on, and he would lose his chance with her forever. On the other hand, did it really matter at this point? He practically spoiled Sweetie Belle the past few days. Plus, she was giving him a look so cute he couldn’t think of saying no. Sweetie prepared herself to be turned down until Spike said, “You know what? Yeah, why not?”
“Great! It’s a date…. A friend date… because we are friends…. Bye Spike!” She said as she forced him out of the room and into the hallway. She quickly shut the door and leaned against it. “Well… that was embarrassing.” She looked up to see Honey struggling to contain her smile and laugh. “What’s the matter?”
“Oh, nothing, just watching. Want me to escort you to the courtyard?” Honey asked with a stifled laugh.
“Sure.”
Spike stood in the hallway, utterly confused by how Sweetie Belle had acted. He didn’t linger on it too long though, Celestia still needed to see him. He made his way back through the castle and went directly to Celestia’s bedroom. Spike stood in the doorway but looked down at the floor. Celestia sat staring into her cake stock. “Triple Chocolate Heaven, The MMM and The Great Wall of Flavors… all gone.” She whimpered. “Spike, can you tell me what happened today?”
Spike held his breath, thinking the worst things possible. Celestia didn’t even turn around to face him. He was dead, no banished, probably to the sun because he committed the worse crime of all; he ate Celestia’s cake. “Um… I kinda took four slices of cake and ate them… by myself…. I then ran into Sweetie Belle, we had a few laughs over some books and then she asked me to go to her dance with her…. I think that sums up what happened.”
Celestia opened her mouth to scold him but then quickly went silent. “Wait, you’re doing what with whom now?” Celestia asked.
“Well, Sweetie asked me to if I could take her to her dance… it wasn’t too big a deal so I thought, why not?”
Celestia remained silent until she finally found the words she was looking for. “Spike, that first night you were here, you know I was joking when I said those things, right? You know you don’t have to do anything with any filly, right?” Celestia asked, hoping Spike would come to some realization that fillies should be the last thing on his mind.
“Actually, I completely forgot what you said. The jokes just kinda got jumbled after the billionth time I heard them. It’s not that big a deal, right? I’m not marrying her, it’s just to hang out. So if we’re done here,-”
“We’re not done!” Celestia called. She had to think long and hard about his punishment. On one hoof, Spike stole her cake, and that crime was punishable for a week at the very least.
On the other hoof, this was a very missable moment, seeing Spike off on his first date. Celestia had missed a lot of his firsts, first steps, first word, first crawl, first spaghetti; first meeting with Santa Pony, first Nightmare Night candy offering, the list went on. If she let this first escape her, Twilight Velvet, Shining Armor, Twilight or Cadance would get to do it instead and ruin it for her.
Oh how they ruined moments for her. Shining Armor took him trick or treating and to see Santa, probably to use Spike so he could hit on mares, showing them how responsible and caring he was. Meanwhile, Cadance saw him crawl while Twilight Velvet saw him walk. She could still remember the worst of it though. During her first year as her student, Twilight Sparkle ran Celestia’s throne room one day and shouted, “Princess, guess what, Spike started talking!” She was not missing something like that again.
“Spike, you’re grounded for the rest of the day,” Celestia said. Spike sighed happily before he left for his room. “Before you go, did you take anything else from my room?” Spike quickly shook his head, eliciting a sigh from the alicorn. “You may go, but you stay in your room, understand?”
Spike nodded and continued on his path. At least it was only a minor punishment. When Spike entered his bedroom, he didn’t hesitate to look through one of Celestia’s diaries. Even though he was grounded, he could still have fun.