Trixie Writes Hatemail

Dear weird and unexplainable pony, A.K.A Pinkie Pie,

What are you? How do you even exist? How do you even break physics like you do? You are the strangest thing I have ever met. A big, pink mess of a life form who is meant to obey physics. How are you not in a mental asylum? You should be. You are a fucking menace to yourself everypony around you. You need to be shot with something more harmful than a tranquilizer dart. You live above a cake shop. You even work there. How are you not a fat ball of cake and shit? Sometimes I wonder if your deadly or not. You are that insane that you might do something to a pony where you kill them, lose all of your friends and lose your element of laughter. I just hope that it isn't me who is killed by you, you physics breaking scum of Equestria. I've alerted Ponyville police about you. I wont expect to see you on the streets next week as you'll be locked up and the town will be safe from your insanity once more.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.