Trixie Writes Hatemail

by Splat

Rating: mature
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Dark, Main 6, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Shining Armor, Random
Length: 3686

The great and powerful Trixie writes hatemail to ponies more succsessful than her and signs them off anonymously, causing chaos.

The great and powerful Trixie has always hated any pony who had more success in life than her, which is mostly everypony. She wanted to tell them what she thought of them, but she was already in enough trouble with the citizens of Ponyville. So she decided to write hate mail to them and sign them off anonymously. This way, no pony would know and she can get her true thoughts off her mind. Some are extremely evil.

Published 2014-05-19 14:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-09 07:03:25 UTC

Hatemail: Twilight Sparkle

Dear disgusting purple tampon, A.K.A Twilight Sparkle,

You are a pathetic, horse faced, whore who thinks that just because she has friends, she is now the best pony in the world. Then you became a princess and you were even more of a walking, mouldy puss ball. Some ponies have houses that get crushed by ursa minors and become homeless, but when your tree house gets burnt down, you get a giant tree like castle. I honestly hope that the power of your element back fires when you use it and you get killed by it, you pathetic, princess sex slave, egghead!

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Fluttershy

Dear Fluttershy,

You are quiet. Really quiet. You are so lonely that you think living with filthy animals counts as solicitation. If you didn't come out of your house, I bet everypony and all of your friends would forget that you even existed. That's how lonely and unimportant you are. Also, you're a door mat. Even your rabbit, angel walks all over you, and he does it even more than your friends. All of the animals hate you. The only reason they show love is because they know that if they don't, you'll go completely insane and fuck them, hard, and murder them, and you'd probably fuck them again. Bestiality committing cunt. I've contacted Equestrian animal care and you will be locked up for animal abuse, you dirty horny whore.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Rainbow Dash

Dear Twilight's lesbian sex machine, A.K.A Rainbow Dash,

You are probably the worst one out of your six friends. You show off how good you are at flying as much as you flash your vagina in front of Twilight. If you were that good, you'd be in the wonderbolts by now. You're going to have to try harder than a sonic rainboom to impress your future mare friend, Spitfire. Just because you have good skills at flying doesn't mean you need to show them off all the time. Everypony has a dream and most ponies dreams come true, yours however, it doesn't look like it is. You try hard, maybe too hard and you will never be entered into the wonderbolts. The only thing you will ever have is your stupid friends and your element of harmony, not much when you think about it, they're probably worth more than your life work when put together, you worthless future sex slave stripper. I've put your name in for a job application as Princess Celestia's personal pet.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Spike

Dear mini purple outcast, A.K.A Spike,

What is the point of you, you little waste of dragon sperm? I mean it. What is the point of you? All you do is hang around with your six friends, do everything what Twilight asks, and also do the same with Rarity. How long before this becomes mixed sexual feelings? It's more noticeable with Rarity. Everypony knows you want to fuck her. It's different with Twilight, instead of fucking her, you draw sexual art of her. I would love to see her reaction to it if she ever found it. Also, you're an orphan. You don't know who your real parents are and what happened to them. Most likely, they ran away because they didn't want you. I don't blame them. You were just lucky that you were opened in your egg by Twilight on her entry exam for Princess Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, that's the only reason you have a good life. Lucky bastard. You don't deserve it, you deserve to be treated by a slave, because that's what you are to Twilight. She makes you sleep on the floor, thats proof. I hope you're abandoned again.

Major amounts of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Zecora

Dear reject of Ponyville, A.K.A Zecora,

No pony wants you here. Why did you ever come to Equestria? To use your voodoo magic to turn everypony into dildos so you could use them? You old, perverted slut! Why don't you leave this land? Even the everfree forest could do better without you. I hope somepony hires Discord as a hit man, makes him comes to your house, shoves Poison Joke down your throat, which then turns your innards into balloons for fun and kills you.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

P.s I hope I'm there to witness it because it would be funny to see.

Hatemail: Big Mac

Dear fattening, greasy McDonalds product, A.K.A Big Macintosh,

By the looks of you, that's what you've been eating your whole life. That explains where you got your name. You are so round, you actually look like a red apple. Learn some English, because all you say is "Eeyup!" It's fucking annoying and is probably very unattractive during sex, mainly because there is no horny ring to it. Just imagine that sound when you cum. Speaking of sex, how many family members have you fucked, you incestuous fat cunt? I am genuinely interested to find out. I hope when you get caught doing the crime, they electrocute your dick with a stun gun.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Apple Bloom

Dear Apple Bloom,

You haven't got your cutie mark yet and you don't know what your talent would be. How stupid could you get, all you need to do is think it through. Every member of your family has a cutie mark related to apples. It's obviously going to be apples. All you need to do to get your cutie mark is hang around that farm more instead of hanging with the pony whom's sister uses her like a slave in a sweat shop to make her shitty, over priced cloths that no pony ever uses and the orphan who only wants to like Rainbow Dash's pussy, then you might get your cutie mark. I hope this advice will help. It should do, you can't get any lower than you are now with those rejects of Ponyville.

Help and guidance, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Braeburn

Dear Appaloosa's sex toy, A.K.A Braeburn,

How many ponies in Appaloosa have you fucked? You better hope that the sherif doesn't inspect your house, you don't want to let him see all of your sex machines around your house would you. But yet again, if he even set a hoof in your house, you would lock the door, gag him, put him in a small cage so he couldn't move and brutally rape him with your strangly long cock. You are a sex addict, you are so addicted, you've turned bisexual so you can have both genders to fuck. I've arranged an appointment with your local guidance counceler to talk to you about it, not for your benefit, but for mine, I don't want to be lured in and fucked, especially by an inbred fuck like you.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Maud Pie

Dear Maud Pie,

You are the most miserable pony in Equestria. Is it even possible to be that unemotional in such a long period of time? What caused you to be that unemotional anyway? Did your father do something "bad" to you when you were a filly. If so, you should get your life sorted out. I wonder if Pinkie Pie done it to you and she was so happy about molesting you, she turned happy. Ugh, thinking about how Pinkie Pie became so happy like that creeps me out and I dare think what you two do with those rock necklaces when you're alone.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Cheese Sandwitch

Dear Pinkie Pie with a dick, A.K.A Cheese Sandwich,

You are like Pinkie Pie, just the opposite sex. Just as crazy and physically impossible. You are a sad, lonely stallion who thinks that the only thing he needs to be cool in life is a rubber duck. I bet you use it as a condom when having sex with Pinkie Pie, most likely it will fail unlike other condoms, because your confetti cum will come out of the mouth. Is that why you call it boneless? Because without your cock inside it, it's... Well... Boneless. I hope you girlfriend, Pinkie Pie, turns you into cupcakes and feeds them to her friends.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Scootaloo

Dear K.F.C product, A.K.A Scootaloo,

There is a reason you are still in the orphanage. It's because no pony wants to adopt you. Even the orphanage regrets taking you in, you unintelligent, flightless bird. Why can't you fly? Did your parents abuse you and break your wings? Stunting your growth and making you unable to use your wings. Maybe your special talent had something to do with flying, but because of what happened to your wings, you will never discover it. You're going to be a worthless blank flank forever. I hope those school bullies push you to far and make you do something over the top. I think you know what I mean, I don't think you're that stupid.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Sweetie Belle

Dear sweat shop slave, A.K.A Sweetie Belle,

I am right, you are a slave to your sister. Have you not noticed? The back of the shop where se keeps you is untidy and covered with clothing materials and it's dirty. While at the front of the shop, it's clean and tidy, with loads of dresses that no pony buys because the cloths are shit. It's impossible not to notice it. You also need to realise that your sister is treating you as a slave. What's next? She put's you in chains and forces you to work? I bet if Scootaloo saw how Rarity treats you when you're alone with her, she would be thankful for her life as an orphan living in the dark, damp allies of Ponyville and I don't blame her. If I had a choice between Scootaloo's life and yours, I would choose Scootaloo's, because I would want freedom in my own home and not get treated as a slave by a relative.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Shining Armor

Dear drug addict, A.K.A Shining Armor,

When I say drug addict, I mean performance enhancing drugs, steroids. Why? Because there is no way you are that fit, I'm guessing that you used them to help yourself get into the Royal Guard team. But I will say that you are hot. But unfortunately, you probably used drugs to change your looks as well but not only that, you're taken by that pink bitch called cadence, or is she still that changeling? I would check before she stuffs her changeling eggs up your ass while you sleep. But let's not talk about your slutty wife. Let's talk about your undeserving sister. She doesn't deserve to be an Alicorn Princess. She didn't get that role for nothing. You have good connections between Twilight and Celestia. Tell me, how many times did you catch Twilight licking Celestia's vagina? Another question. How many times did you join in to become a Prince? I hope you get obliterated while defending the pathetic capital city you call Canterlot and make sure I'm invited to your funeral, because I want to see Twilight's face when you die and she attends her "BBBFF's" funeral.

Tonnes of hate, the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Hatemail: Princess Luna

Dear Nightmare Moon, A.K.A Princess Luna,

Why are you still a princess? If I was Celestia, I wouldn't let you be a princess anymore when you returned from your banishment , mainly because you tried to cast eternal night and kill a lot of ponies. All of that because you didn't like ponies living in the light. Honestly, when I first heard the story of Nightmare Moon, I thought you only did it because you got sunburn and wanted to get revenge. Anyway, I wouldn't allow you to be a princess anymore, I would change your role on Equestria to Molestia's sex maid for a humiliating punishment. This whole world would do better without you, you worthless, chaotic cunt.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony who hates you for almost stopping her birth because you could have killed her ancestor.

Hatemail: Princess Celestia

Dear over powered sex slut, A.K.A Princess Celestia,

I have a few things I need to say about you. First, I'm going to start with your power. You are over powered, to over powered. Honestly, you don't need to be that powerful. I can't even begin to wonder why somepony would need that much power in their magic. I think that is the only reason you became the leading Princess of Equestria, because you forced the previous rulers out so you could become the Princess. So much for being friendly and that "friendship is magic" shit you always say! The second thing is the lazyness of you. All you do is raise the sun and drink fucking Canterlot tea. That's it! If your going to deny it then I will point out something that proofs it. The last time you got captured was because of those black weed things. It grabbed you by the foreleg and all you did was do a scream of a five year old filly. Really?! You couldn't of used your over powered magic to stop it?! What goes on in your head? Let me guess; "Oh no! Something's got my foreleg! I could use my magic to get it off and stop the whole thing from happening, or I could be lazy, get captured and let my personal pussy licker, Twilight Sparkle to sort it out. Again!" It's fucking pathetic what you do for a powerful princess! Speaking of Twilight Sparkle, my third reason. Why did you make her a princess? Was it really because she creates new magic? Or really, was it because she cleaned the left over shit from the walls from inside your ass enough times? I could go on for hours about the crowning of Twilight Sparkle. The forth reason is because you're so perverted, aren't you, Princess Molestia! Ponies say they're just rumors but I know they're real. I hope you piss off your sister so much she returns to Nightmare Moon and defeats you. That would be my early Hearts Warming Eve.

A massive amount of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Tirek

Dear product of sex with two different species, A.K.A Tirek,

Normally I would ask somepony like you to help me in what I'm working on. But you, no, you fucking magic penetrator. I would of helped you become a ruler of Equestria, but because you stole my magic, why should I? Plus, I can't trust you because you betrayed Discord. He once harmed ponies for fun, and yet he still has more friends than you. What are you? What two animals are you made from. Fucking half pony, half some shit else. I hope you realise that because you stole my magic from me, you shall no longer have the chance to be a ruler of Equestria. I hope that three headed dog that's guarding you thinks your a mate for him to fuck, HA. A three headed dog fucking you violently while your in a cage where you can't prevent it! You deserve it!

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Princess Cadence

Dear Princess Sex Pest, A.K.A Princess Cadence,

You are the princess of love. So many sex jokes can be made, I'm surprised that not many exist already. You have an advantage over love and it's unfair. You make ponies live each other, it makes me wonder. How many ponies have you forced to love each other? Another question. Obviously you are a young princess and you're ready for the birds and the bees and is desperate to try it out aren't you? I mean, for it to work, two ponies must love each other, but with you, only you need to love somepony, even if they don't like you, you can make them love you to make your own life perfect and you can try the techniques of sex with him. It's weird and sick, forcing somepony to love and have sex with you? Disgusting! I bet that's what you did to Shining Armor to make him love you. I know he's a feud addict to steroids , but even he can do better than you. What's the next step in the bed you're forcing to do to him? Hardcore bondage?! It's disturbing thinking about it. I hope you get captured and forced into sex yourself and let's see how you like it.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

P.s. I swear I didn't make myself wet down there by thinking of you, Shining Armor and the shaking bed with the bondage chains. I swear I didn't!

Hatemail: Rarity

Dear stupid marshmallow pony monster, A.K.A Rarity,

You are the most pathetic excuse for a unicorn I have ever seen. You are a huge drama queen who needs a wooden plank shoved up your ass to teach you a lesson about not being a snobby bitch. Element of generosity? Yeah right! Whenever you don't get something you want you go on a rampage to get it anyway. You almost destroyed Ponyville because you wanted to make it how you wanted it to look, that happened because Spike gave you a book. Speaking of spike, do you really love him as much as he loves you? You only go near him when you want him to do something and you rearly ever give anything back. I hope you house burns down along with your buissness of shitty clothing that are more fit for strippers than ponies, you worthless, gem stealing, greedy bitch.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Applejack

Dear Applejack,

Do you realise what you are? You're not a work pony who works on an apple farm. Have you noticed? Everypony in Ponyville demands that you do your job and collect the apples. That's all you do, and you don't get paid much for it either. Your not a work pony. You're a slave to Ponyville and you're to stupid to realise it. What is the point of you if you're just a slave for Ponyville, your whole family is. You don't have any indoor manners. No respect for any other ponies things. Why don't you and your worthless family pack up and leave? Your absence will brighten up this pathetic excuse for a town.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Pinkie Pie

Dear weird and unexplainable pony, A.K.A Pinkie Pie,

What are you? How do you even exist? How do you even break physics like you do? You are the strangest thing I have ever met. A big, pink mess of a life form who is meant to obey physics. How are you not in a mental asylum? You should be. You are a fucking menace to yourself everypony around you. You need to be shot with something more harmful than a tranquilizer dart. You live above a cake shop. You even work there. How are you not a fat ball of cake and shit? Sometimes I wonder if your deadly or not. You are that insane that you might do something to a pony where you kill them, lose all of your friends and lose your element of laughter. I just hope that it isn't me who is killed by you, you physics breaking scum of Equestria. I've alerted Ponyville police about you. I wont expect to see you on the streets next week as you'll be locked up and the town will be safe from your insanity once more.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Doctor Whooves/Time Turner

Dear weird two hearted, fake pony from a failed ancient civilisation, A.K.A Doctor Whooves,

What the actual fuck did you do? Why are you here? To destroy our planet too?! Leave this rock and take your blue, shitty, pony rape, torture chamber with you. Your world is dead, gone, destroyed! Why? Because your pledge "to only watch and not interfere" was broken and you and your species decided to join a war that could destroy the universe. You destroyed your own planet you murderer. You killed everyone along with the enemy. Have you now come to our world to start a war and destroy us now? Just leave, no pony want's you here because you bring nothing but death. If you're going to leave, please take that dumb ass Derpy with you. (She can be the next pony to be sexually tortured in that box.) she's a menace to society and herself. Do me a favour, next time you die, don't regenerate, this universe could do better without you.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.

Hatemail: Granny Smith

Dear Granny Smith,

How old are you? Honestly, how are you not dead yet? I bet Princess Celestia is considered young compared to your age. I've always wondered what that odd smell was around Sweet Apple Acres, but I think I know now, it's you, rotting of old age. Every time you fall asleep, I bet your family organises a funeral because they know you're not far off from dying. So you and your family founded Ponyville when you were just a filly? I doubt it for a few reasons. One, Ponyville was founded over one hundred years ago, I know your old and your wrinkles are a mile long, but I doubt that you are over one hundred years old. Two, if you and your family founded Ponyville and you are the oldest generation of your family, wouldn't that make you mayor? There for, in my conclusion, you are a lying, old, hag who should be shot for being a zombie.

Tonnes of hate, from an anonymous pony.