GFPverse Part 1 New Place New Problems

by fleur party

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 7411

Twilight opens a rift, and what comes out of it can change equestrian history forever

Twilight opens a rift, but what comes out of it could change equestrian history forever. (This is clop-free, just heavy sexual innuendo's and things later that might make me need the tag. Also, if you would like to see a less dark side of my OC and a more developed story I am introduced in Princess Maxxi's Running While Preggers. So go show Maxxi some love and read her series!)

Big thanks to my new editor Wertmon505, with his help the story should become a lot better in due time. This is starting to turn into a collaboration between me and Wertmon, some of the scenes you are reading were suggested or edited heavily by Wertmon so until otherwise I am calling him my Co-Author!

This story is a crossover between the human world and equestria, but is not completely an HIE.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-11 22:49:34 UTC

The One Chapter To Start Them All

Twilight Sparkle, fourth known Alicorn, loyal follower of Star Swirl the Bearded, famous beyond extent. This is all a normal life to her. Until she unintentionally lets something into equestria that will possibly change it forever.

   Twilight scampered into her new crystalline library, much bigger then the old one, with more space and fashion and also works as a council. After the old one was destroyed by Tirek she had been trying to rebuild her book collection. This was no ordinary book, the arcane writings on the heavy tome almost glowed with power as she ran into her new bedroom and slammed the door with her magic, giddy with excitement. She opened the old dusty book with her signature magenta aura and with a simple flip of a couple pages she found what she was looking for. The pages title read Philosophy and Spells of Dimensional and Time Travel.

Eagerly, even for one who usually devoured every last fact, Twilight flipped to the part about spells. As she saw the spell she was looking for her heart fluttered and she felt filled with success.

   "Alright, here we go. This is what I was looking for. I can't believe Celestia granted me access to the private Canterlot archive! I have to remember to thank her," She said to herself as she sheepishly remembered immediately running off after she had what she came for. For the past week Twilight had been studying Dimensional things and what not after reading an Equestrian, where are we now?magazine, related to the science of magic, and one of the few she subscribed to, that inspired her to go to work on the untouched study which lead her to the private Canterlot archives. Now, here she is staring at the private journal of her idol Star Swirl the Bearded, about to read a spell from him all about it.

  After taking all the necessary precautions, namely binding and sealing wards to both prevent unwanted eldritch abominations from crossing over and keep those she summoned from tearing her apart, she proceeded to recite the spell over and over in her head. Once every last word of it was crystal clear she took a deep breath, closed her eyes..., and spoke.

   "From the depths of Tartarus to the skies up ahead rip a hole in reality for both I and them," She chanted, once Twilight felt the magic fade away she opened her eyes, a bit skeptical about the incorrect grammar presented at the end of the spell. Nothing happened, their was only silence. She waited and waited for something to happen, but nothing.

   "Oh for the love of Celestia, it must have been an unfinished spell," She said disappointed.

   "No wait, it can't be... He has every fact and note jotted down," the purple alicorn mumbled to herself curiously. She shook off the strange antics and decided it must have not worked and he simply gave up.

   "I should probably go tell Celestia about this unfinished spell when I give this back to her."

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I walked down an alley way bored out of my mind listening to Bloodlip by Veela on my IPod. It was supposed to be a normal hang out with my friends I had my "Party Bag" as I called it slung over my shoulder. It contained everything for a party, from Shasta Cola, to my Ps3, to my controllers. Everything was packed. As I walked down the alley I heard yelling in a doorway to my left. I stopped and listened to all the commotion,

   "I TOLD YOU TO HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY BY THIS WEEK!" said a vicious voice full of anger.

   "I-I'm sorry dude, it's j-just I don't get paid until next week," said a second timid voice.

   "YOU AND YOUR DAMN EXCUSES MIKE!" the vicious voice said with venom. The timid voiced man named Mike grew in anger and yelled back at him.

   "YOU KNOW WHAT!?FUCK YOU," said Mike.

   "DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!" The venomous man nearly screamed. Before I could figure out what was about to happen I heard the click of a trigger and a gunshot.

   "Oh SHIT," I said, ready to take off running until the man stepped out of the doorway and spotted me.

   "Hey you! Give me that bag and get the fuck out of here!" He yelled pointing the gun at me and grabbing my shirt collar. I could tell he wasn't trained by the way he held it at me because my brother taught me from his police academy training, he learned how to spot a trained gunman, so I wasn't as intimidated by his extreme antics. And like hell he was getting my Cola. So I tried to stay calm and collected to benefit both parties. I was shaking like hell in a winter.

   "Whoa man, calm down...No one needs to get shot, if you steal from me you won't get anything valuable, it's all useless crap man, now let me go man!" I stated back to him putting up my hands.

   "Don't make me shoot you too kid! Just give me the damn bag!" He said slightly less menacing. I lost my cool at his non-willingness to cooperate, that and the hand on my collar with the gun pointed at me. I'm not good at controlling feelings.

   "Don't be stupid man! I'm not giving you my bag and you're going to accept that! Now fuck off and let me go!" I said struggling to get loose from the attackers grasp. There was a loud whack as I punched him across the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground. I only then began to process what I just did to the man with a loaded gun. I started to run, and I heard the man behind me cursing as he staggered as he got up and then suddenly...

A blast of thunder, I heard the click of a trigger and a deafening boom as a sharp pain stabbed into my shoulder. I looked down to see the red of my blood slowly forming a staining circle across my shoulder. Slowly seeping my shirt red, I turned around in shock to face the guy who just shot me. Another boom rang out, and more seeping red appeared on my stomach, then another, and the seeping red appeared on my left thigh. My killer only looked at me with cold eyes as I slowly died. Suddenly, there was the faintest sound of sirens.

   "Oh shit! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" panicked the once menacing man, before a look of shock filled those cold eyes and he turned his attention beside me. I slumped, and fell to where the man was staring, instead of feeling the hard brick wall; I felt like I was falling into a blue void of emptiness.

Just before I blacked out I wondered to myself in my head in shock.

"Is this what it feels like to die?"

Then all went black...

    What appeared to be the next day I woke up in a place... Ermm... Not home. I was in a forest, and one with a freaky vibe like it's about to do whatever it can to kill you at that. I immediately noticed my Party Bag laying slumped on the ground next to me.

   "Yay! Party Bag you made it!" I laughed, still shaken up and traumatized but wanting to lighten what mood was left, until I noticed something.

My body no longer seared in pain, with a mixture of relief and confusion I thought I died and went to heaven (but surely this, admittedly scary forest couldn't be heaven), until I felt good enough to get up on my legs to walk, so I tried, and fell..., I tried again, and fell again. I soon looked at my legs to see the problem. What I saw made me scream like a little gir-yell in panic. My clothes gone, and replacing my body was the body of an...equine? I frantically examined my hooves and features with a mirror I scraped laboriously and with much effort from the party bag with my new-found appendages.

   I had a radiant minty green coat, grey muzzle and hooves, my same green eyes, a purple and green mane, I even appeared to have kept my glasses and watch, and I, to my very great surprise and joy, also had wings. I got up and stood on all fours before it hit me like a speeding train.

   "Wings!?! What the hell!" Maybe this was all a dream I thought to myself, already starting to get frantic...maybe I'm comatose. Maybe I'm in a hospital and this is a dream... I sat there silently, thinking over the idea becoming a possible reality. That's what I thought until I got hit over the back of the head by the tail of a huge beast, I had stayed in one place for too long and one of the beasts of the forest had found me. I slammed into a nearby tree from the tremendous force that would have certainly broken my previously human body's back or some bones at the least, I shuffled around with my vision blurred trying to regain my composure and dizzily looked up at the...I had literally no idea what the hell it was.

   I gasped, shocked at seeing the mythical looking beast after processing it for just a second, Of all the predators I did not expect a goddamn mythical beast, It was big and burly with the tail of a scorpion and a bunch of other scary shit thrown in. I would have rather taken on King Kong. Just as I started to black out from a mixture of exhaustion and shock I saw the beast get hit by a magenta beam of aura as it grew closer, and then all went black once again...

What The Hell's A Ponyville?

  I woke up, fell off the small cot I was placed on, and hit my head. Yep.

   "God damn it! Aghh! Well this is certainly a splendid start to the morning..." I said to myself grumpily.

Once I could see clearly I looked at my hooves, I could feel them and was again reminded this is no dream. It was odd having no fingers; I kept wanting to flex them only to have nothing happen as I stared at my hoof… which was a dull grey unlike my coat, oddly enough.

I rubbed my temple with a hoof "Oh no, this can't be happening, what the hell is going on?" I said as I fought down the rising frustration and panic at my situation.

I rolled about uncomfortably trying to gather my bearings and asking myself what kind of hell I was sent to when a mare stepped into the room, slamming open the door as she came in. Wearing a Stetson, she also donned a blond mane and orange coat with a tattoo of three apples on her butt (or is it flank?).

  "Ey, your awake! Well mornin' sugarcube!" she said so happily it was almost creepy. Unfortunately she... surprised me.

   "EEEE!" I yelled like a little girl jumping back up onto the cot. "Where am I! Who are you! What's going on!" I said in complete panic mode now. She raised an eyebrow,

  "Ya bump yer head sugarcube? Yer at- oh calm down, you're at Sweet Apple Acres, right outside of Ponyville," She said calmingly.

  "What in the hell is a Ponyville?" I started to calm down as I said that, turning my panic into interest in learning more about my location. She looked at me oddly for a second before a look of realization dawned on her.

   "Ya must not be from around here, one o' them foreigner folk. Ponyville is a town in Equestra. How do ya speak such good Equestrian, and where are ya from anyway?" she asked curiously. Ponyville?  I thought do towns here have horse related puns for names? I must have looked confused for a second because she just started giving me an impatient look.

   "Ummm, I studied...it... at, um, stall-i-ongrad univ-ersity" making up a horrible lie on the spot and praying to whatever god was out there that the mare in front of me either didn't know it didn't exist or the place actually existed. Did I mention I am bad when I am put on the spotlight? She saw right through the obvious lie and started getting a little more demanding.

   "Ya want to hide somethin' sugarcube then that's fine with me, but if yer going to get up and dragged out of the everfree by mah friend I need to at least know yer name. Mine's Applejack, AJ for short." She said awaiting a response.

   "Mine’s George," I said awkwardly. She gave me a weird look again that was just dying to comment on how bad I was at covering up things.

   "Jus' George?" She said suspiciously. Oh no, think of something umm, what matches my personality.

   "George Fleur Party! GFP for short!" I said proudly, and then I wanted to facepalm at the dumb name... but sadly I had a hoof, and actually facepalming with a hoof (facehoofing I guess) kind of hurts. She chuckled at my awkwardness, her suspicion melting away, and looked at me.

   "Ok GFP I don't know about you, but now I definitely know yer a foreigner, so I guess I'll up an' give ya a break. Explains why ya were off in the Everfree forest. That place is mighty dangerous, best steer clear next time." She said knowingly. "If mah friend Twi didn't hear ya scream like a lil' filly ya would've gotten yourself killed by that manticore. Good thing she was walking back from Zecora's when she was... Off gettin' some of that smelly lavender shampoo stuff."

She said as I turned red in embarrassment.

   "So that's what attacked me?" I thought to myself.

    "She saved ya, brought ya here, and we patched ya up. Ya have a lot to learn about this here town and its people, and since yer all patched up now I won't feel sorry fer kickin' ya out on yer flank. You should go visit Twi- her full name's Twilight Sparkle by the way." She said a-matter-of-factly. "She owns this here town's own lil' library, well ah guess its more of a castle now though. You seem like one o' the smart type, I'm sure you'll like 'er. Just keep following the farms path into Ponyville and look for the giant crystal tree. You'll know it when you see it." She said helpfully.

   "Alrighty, thank you Appl-" before I even knew it she had lead me to the door and sent me on my way.

   I made my way down the dirt road until it started turning into cobble. Soon enough I was walking around in town, occasionally drawing attention from strangers because of my awkward fumbling excuse of trotting. A pegasus mare with bright blonde hair and a grey coat finally trotted up to me casually.

  "Umm excuse me, sir, are you ok? You seem a bit off balance today," She asked worriedly.

  "Oh ummm, yes... I uh... I am just feeling dizzy. A lot of people are staring though...," I lied to her, until I noticed her crossed eyes.

  "Don't feel bad, I can be a bit clumsy too. My eyesight does that to me, my name is Ditzy Doo. But everyone calls me Derpy," She said smiling warmly.

  "I am GFP, nice to meet you Ditzy... Thank you, you're very kind but I must be going," I said, smiling and slightly happier.

  "Alright! See ya GFP," She said, happy to have made a new friend.

30 Minutes of pointless wandering around Ponyville and getting mixed up in distractions later...

There's the library, in its full crystalline glory, rising into the sky. I stared at it's beautifully carved crystal features, anything this beautiful in the real world would cost billions. Applejack sure wasn't lying when she said I would know it when I see it. In fact it almost hurt my eyes. I stepped up on the doorstep and knocked.

   I heard the gentle clop of foot-no,  hoofsteps coming to the door (man I will never get used to this) the door opened to reveal a lavender Unico- no, Pegas- no..., Wait what, an Alicorn? Heh- didn't see that coming.

   "Sorry sir, but the library doesn't open until 9," said the lavender mare as her eyes adjusted to the glare of the morning sun once she stepped outside. Finally her vision cleared and she saw the stallion before her. She let her magic die out and the aura around the door went away. "Oh! Wow, you’re that Pegasus from the Everfree I saved. That manticore sure got you good, you screamed like a filly," she chuckled.

   "Heheh... yeah... it sure did..." I said, the conversation growing awkward for a moment as I rubbed the back of my head blushing slightly...(what is it with this body and blushing, I almost never blush) recalling the pain. Trying to save the conversation from the evil clutches of awkwardness I spoke up after a moment's silence. "Thank you for that... I would have died if it weren't for you. No matter how strange all this is right now." I said as sincere as humanl- Ermm... Equinely possible. She looked at me smiling but with curiosity.

   "Thank you, but it is no big deal, it’s my job as a princess, but I couldn't help but notice you said something was strange? May I ask what?" She asked, her curiosity growing with every word and detail. A princess… hmmm, maybe she can help me out.

   "We can talk about it inside," I said hesitantly. "But I did hear something about being a princess? Wow, that pony Applejack said for me to meet the town librarian... I didn't know I would be meeting a royal librarian. I love literature, your highness of books," I said, bowing jokingly towards her. I was not flirting...yes- not flirting at all…

   "Oh, why thank you Sir Purple Mane." She remarked back smirking at the comeback. "Maybe you and I can study sometime, prove if you do actually like books? Or what made you become cocky enough to wander into the Everfree forest alone?" She smirked. Ouch, that stings, she can certainly joke around when she wants too.

   "I think I might hit you up on that sometime to prove you wrong, But for now can we go inside... we need to talk about that which is strange." I stressed its importance with a look of seriousness on my face. Hopefully this will go as planned.

   "Sure, if it is important I guess I could open a bit early, come in," As I walked in with Twilight I spotted a green and purple chubby little dragon cleaning a bookshelf.

   "Whoa, a dragon!? Sweet!" I said with awe. The dragon looked over at him curiously and then smirked proudly.

   "Yeah, Twilight raised me from an egg, and now I live with a princess. I am pretty sweet," He stated, proudly milking the situation at large for all his ego is worth. "I'm Spike, who’re you? Did Twilight finally get a special somepony?" He joked. Twilight blushed profusely and then rolled her eyes while I stood there slightly confused.

   "N-No! Spike your chores are done for now go... Do something; hang out with Applebloom and the others now shoo. I need to talk with... What's your name?" Twilight asked.

   "Oh um...George Fleur Party or just GFP," I said awkwardly to her.

   "That's an odd name," She said chuckling uncontrollably.

   "Ok I’ll leave you two alone," Spike said laughing as he walked out the door.

   "Alright, now that that’s over, what did you have to ask me about," she asked curiously.

   "Oh, right, of course" I clear my throat and speak. "You look like the smartest mare I can find here so you will be able to make sense out of this, please don't think I'm crazy because I don't know if anyone else can help me." I said to her.

I then let the story spill out to her. "My real name is indeed George, but I was a human, you don't know what they are but I do, we live in a world called earth with no pegasi, unicorns, or even magic. But that is where it gets weird; I ran into a robber and got shot by his weapon known as a gun. As I was swept into unconsciousness I fell through some blue hole... instead of hitting a brick wall. That was about two days ago. I think I’m in a new dimension because in this world magic apparently exists. So I need to ask, do you think something like that's possible?" I said gasping for breath. Twilight blinked, with sudden realization she gasped with joy.

   "Sweet Celestia it worked! This is possibly the greatest discovery in.... well, a long time for Equestria!" She squee'd excitedly.

   "Wait, that's it? Y-you don't think I'm crazy or anything...No questioning? No nothing?" I said confused. I suddenly found myself questioning HER sanity.

   "What’s going on right now?" I asked myself in my head. Maybe asking her was a giant mistake…

"Oh, of course, let me explain to you further why I believe you," She said. "Let me keep it simple, a couple days ago I was studying into dimensional thaumic conjuration and regurgitation spells from Starswirl the Bearded. When I tried one of the spells I thought it was a dud. To say the least I was disappointed but now here you are, you have no idea half the terms we use, yes I noticed, and you popped out in the middle of the everfree claiming to come from a different dimension. It adds up to say the least and it just being a coincidence and you being a lunatic is unlikely." She examined proudly. "Oh oh oh! I know! We can be study buddies! I will teach you about Equestria and you can tell me about your home and people. Sadly you can't just show me because the portal altered your genetic structure and coding all in all."

  I got lost in her ramblings long ago and I only imagined to get out a

  "So, if I went back through it would alter my genetic coding again and send me back to Earth! That's great! I'm still getting used to this whole pony thing though." I said excited. "But for now, can you find a way I can get home?" I asked her hopefully. She suddenly looked at me, trying to overlook the look of dread on her face.

  "Y-yes of course I will look into it." She said nervously. I raised an eyebrow at her but decided it must be part of her insane antics.

  "Thank you. Is there any where I can stay while you do this?" I asked unsure about this staying with this half-sane mare.

  "Yes, we have a guest bedroom down the left hall. You can go now and unpack your things if you'd like to stay here." She said kindly.

  "Oh, wow thank you! I won't be any trouble I promise." I said leaving her to check out my new room. I stepped inside and immediately dropped my Party Bag down next to the door.

  "Ho-ly...Shit..." I gasped. The room was crystalline with random Crystal patterns carved into the walls, and then their was the big ass bed in the center of the room. Along with a walk in closet (Ponies don't wear clothes so I don't know why), and a big bathroom. I was home...for now at least.

The Day Out

   I woke up early in the morning, only I didn't wake up, I never wake up this early. Yes, indeed, I was woken up. My suspicions confirmed when I rolled over to the edge of the bed grumbling, to see a certain purple alicorn looking at me.

   "Good morning George!" She said excitedly. I just stared at her for a minute processing what's happening.

How on ear-Equestria can she be this awake this early....

   "Sup," I managed lazily. I slowly crawled out of bed and sat up. Quite awkwardly, seeing as I am an equine now. As soon as I straightened out I felt a very sharp pain go through my left wing as I had slept on the damn thing. "Ahhh!! I think I fucking slept wrong," I said, my wing cramped and stiff. I sat there for a bit groaning about the intense pain that comes when you're a pegasus that rolls around too much in their sleep.

   "This is way more funny to me than it should be," she said stifling a laugh at my pain. You bitch...

   "This mare has issues..." I thought before shaking my head to clear it of grogginess. "OK, note-to-self, when I go to sleep I need to tie myself to the bed..." I said, flapping and stretching my wings. "Twilight, can I ask you why you woke me up so early..." I said grumpily.

   "Because that's the time I wake up, and I like to be on schedule." She said simply, “and first on the schedule is breakfast.”

   "What schedule? It's like a... Saturday... I think..." I said as I followed her into the dining room, embarrassed I didn't even know the date. Come to think of it, do ponies even use the same days and dating system we- I mean humans do?

   "Actually, it's a Monday, and you're going out with me today, you need to learn about this place and... species, before you go taking up residence in my house."

Well, it seems we do use the same names for days of the week.

   "Hey, but... in my defense you offered t-..." She cut me off abruptly.

   "Ah, no buts! You're going out and you're going to like it." She said authoritatively. I sighed and groaned, no use in arguing with a crazy mare...note to self- get her to turn me back to human as soon as possible.

   At this point in time I had sat down in one of the chairs (also crystal by the way, seriously what is it with this place and crystals) and started to eat, I tried grasping the silverware with my hooves, but just ended up knocking them off the table.

        At that point I decided to just plunge face first into my meal (which oddly enough was eggs, pancakes, and apples. I would have killed for some bacon to complete the meal but, beggars, after all, can’t be choosers, I am going to miss bacon... A lot...) like the animal I am now, and I have to say it was pretty satisfying, especially when I had finished and looked up face covered in breakfast to see Twilight’s annoyed look at my actions as her horn lit up and my face was cleaned off.

   "Fine. But I'm not going to go to any fru-fru spa or something if that's what you had in mind." I stated.

   "Actually, That's a great idea George! We can get you used to your body, less worked up, and less tense before we start! Oh... and... I kind of have a coupon I need to use still." She said sheepishly, but with a hint of vengeance toning her voice for me making such a mess (I wonder if sh'e always this unnecessarily vindictive). I just blinked a couple times wondering if she even heard what I just said I won't do... Ok yep, I see it in her eyes, she does and she doesn't care...

   "Oh hell no! Uh uh! No way! You'll never catch me alive!" I said, preparing to attempt to fly away out of the bedroom window, which was conveniently open. I spread my wings, took a running start, closed my eyes, and jumped... I didn't feel like I was flying all that much so I opened my eyes. Staring back at me was Twilight as I was wrapped in her magenta aura. She had me in her telekinesis... Uh oh...in that moment also running through the back of my head was the realization that I didn't know how to fly in the first place and subsequently promised myself that I'd learn.

   "Oh no you don't, you're coming with me." She said happily, as she dragged me out of the bedroom, back down the left hallway, and down the stairs. As she dragged me with her magic I tried to squirm and claw free until I saw Spike...

"Help me!..." I said desperately. "She is trying to make me go to the spa!" I said, despising the girlish name and everything about it. Spike looked at me and started laughing "Good luck! She's a fighter." He said holding his side's at the torture his friend was putting on me.

   "Oh YOU LITTLE SON OF A BIT-" I was cut off abruptly as I was dragged out the door and it was shut, blocking me from the little green and purple menace of a dragon and eliciting yet another mental promise to myself, this time to have my revenge on that overgrown lizard.

   I would like to say that I calmly accepted my fate and went quietly but I was levitated, kicking and screaming to the spa.

   "Oh calm down you're making a scene, the spa isn't that bad, plus it will only be a massage." She said reassuringly (though the twitch in her eye indicated murder was about to be committed if I didn't shut up). I looked at her hesitantly for a moment and stopped struggling.

"No mud bath, no fru-fru? Just a massage?" I said unsure of the situation, or whether to classify getting massaged by a female is 'fru-fru in a man's definition or just hot... Ermm, not by a mare though, that's just weird.

"No mud bath, no fru-fru. You have my promise." She said sincerely.

"Alright... Maybe just a massage..." I said. I sighed, she could have told me that earlier I thought.

As we entered the spa the secretary at the desk looked up and smiled.

   “Ah, Princess Twilight, just in time for your appointment and- oh, who’s this?” the mare asked.

    “This is George, he’s a newcomer that arrived last night,” I raised my eyebrow at that, but accepted it as introducing a pony as an otherworldly monster  that she summoned wouldn’t go over too well, "and please, don’t call me princess, I’m still the same Twilight…"

     I stopped listening to the banter to look around the room; it was painted a light blue with a white tile floor with small specks of every color of the rainbow dotted on the floor. There were small plants in the corners of the small waiting room giving it a welcoming and relaxed atmosphere.

   “…-George, come right this way,” the mare (I missed her name) said snapping me out of my reverie, and walked through the set of double doors to the right of her desk Twilight and following after. We walked through a hallway going straight back passing three side hallways and seven doors of various markings until we arrived at two doors across the halls from each other marked ‘massage’.

“Alright, Princess your room is on the left and George yours is on the right,” she said before walking back to her post.

I entered my room very hesitantly to find a small, no more than ten by ten feet, with one of those weird massage tables, you know the ones that look like large ironing boards with a hole for your face to look down at the floor and a bright pink pony with a blue mane with a flower blossom tattooed on her bu-flank.

   “Velcome George, I am Aloe Blossom and I vill be giving you your massage today. Now come, lie down on zee table and ve shall begin.”

And so I got on the table and the massage began slowly.

You know what, I totally take back all my comments about massages, this mare… just-damn! The way she uses her hooves on my back is downright magic. She’s getting all the muscles I never knew I had and working out all the accumulated stress with only her hooves, it felt so good that I couldn’t suppress a sigh (which was not a moan I swear) of relief the way she worked me. Seriously, how is it possibly to be so dexterous with those hooves and give such a heavenly massage? Not to mention that flank... So round and that musky smell coming fro- wait what!? No! That's wrong, what am I, a horse fucker ( besides, Twilight's is much bet-shit!) I let the incident slide away... After I made sure I didn't get a boner from those thoughts (Which I totally wouldn't have anyways, though I did get a funny feeling in my wings, oddly enough). I spent the rest of the massage in a blissful haze and was startled when Aloe said my time was up.

“Thank you Miss Blossom, that massage was.. err... simply amazing.”

“It iz noszing, I assure you, I do my best for all my customers."

(You sure do... Heheh- AGHH! NO! I have to get out of here... there are more mares outside any- oh fuck I need to get out of here...)

As we walked out of the room I saw the door to the lobby closing just as the rump of a particular purple pony princess I knew disappeared through it, and headed towards it while my masseur headed down a near-by hall, probably to take care of another client. I didn't stare at her flank as she left, I swear...

   As I headed through the doors (they were those two way swinging push doors thankfully) Twilight was waiting and, looking much less likely to murder me, when she spoke up,

   “So, how was your time at the spa, not as bad as you thought it would be, huh?” she said.

   “Yeah, hehe-... It was pretty good, I may go back one day,” I said, ...as long as there is more flan- "ERGHH! NO!" I accidentally thought out loud... Oops...

   "What is it, are you ok?" Twilight asked me startled but worried.

   "Y-yeah... yeah I'm fine... Just remembered something and got a little stressed out." I lied through my teeth. She looked at me with sudden sympathy. I had no idea what it was about until she spoke up a couple seconds later.

   "Oh George... Don't worry... You don't have to stress yourself out on how you'll get home. I am... working on it" She said calmingly, like a mother to her baby... Or in this case a mare to her alien friend who was magically teleported into her care. She patted me on my back and gave me a hug (which caused my wings to get that feeling again and even twitch a little, seriously, what's with that?.)

   (Damn it Twilight you're not making this current predicament any better with your adorableness...) I thought to myself in my head as I looked to the sky. As I looked up I slowly saw Rainbow projectile hurtling right towards us. It was yelling so it wasn't an object... Wait, that was another pegasus, and they aren't slowing down... Uh oh... Split second reaction time then kicked in. "Twilight! Watch out!" I yelled pushing her out of the way before getting impaled in the side by the speeding Pegasus... "OOF!" I gasped from getting nailed in the side before tumbling to the ground with the pegasus. They really need speed limits here... Twilight yelped as she stumbled back away from the carnage due to my push. The Rainbow maned bullet currently laying on top of me apparently didn't even notice me... She looked over at Twilight, who was just getting over her confusions to what just happened.

   "Heyya Twi, sorry about that... Man that landing was softer than I expected," She said confused. "I was trying out a new trick that was bound to get me into the Wonderbolts!" She said sheepishly, still standing on me (with her exceptionally toned legs and fla-STOP IT.) Twilight looked over at her irritatedly and then spoke up.

   "Well it's not me you should be saying sorry to Rainbow Dash," She said glancing down to me as I silently groaned in my mind, still slightly dazed.

   "Huh? OH! Sorry man! I didn't mean to crash into you like that. This is like way more awkward now," She said embarrassed, as she stepped off me (with her toned flank and absolutely sexy wing-STOP IT! Bad George, bad! You are NOT, I repeat, NOT a horse fucker, no matter how hot those wings a- AAUUUGGHH!)

   "No problem..." I said grunting as I got up. Twilight looked to me and then back at... Rainbow Dash... Weird name... But I guess Twilight Sparkle isn't any less weird... Especially since mine was George Fleur Party now...

   "Actually Rainbow he isn't just any random Stallion, this is George," Twilight said, introducing me to the Rainbow maned battering ram. Rainbow blinked, and then blinked again as she just looked at me. Then she fell over on her side crying out in a fit of laughter...  (Man if this was a story people wouldn't be nearly as confused as I am right now.) Once the laughter subsided she finally got up and looked at Twilight, who was giving her a glare that would kill the devil.

   "Hehe- Oohhh man you mean to say, out of game Twilight got a colt friend," Rainbow chuckled. Coltfriend? I looked over at Twilight who no longer had a glare but had a frustrated blush.

   "I am plenty 'in game'! And he is not my coltfriend!" She said blushing... Coltfriend there it is again, is that like a boyfriend and also, what is it with this place and horse puns?

   "Yes, your totally in game Twi, and sure he isn't," She said with saracasm then fixed her attention on me. Oh god it is like a boyfriend. Wait... This is good... Time for a little revenge.

   "So how did you manage to get the little bookworm out of her tree?" Twilight looked over at me and I just grinned. I am a sadistic bastard...

   "Like I do all the bookworms, lure them out with a book on a hook," I said, not completely satisfied with the embarrassed look on her face. Rainbow Dash was laughing.

   "How is she? Is she as obsessed with books as it seems?" Rainbow said, barely able to control herself.

   "Indeed, we need to get a psychiatrist pronto," This was it Rainbow Dash fell on the floor in a laughing fit again and Twilight was so embarrassed she looked like a tomato. I grinned, my job was done. Until Twilight magically conjured a zipper and zipped my mouth shut, and by that I mean my lips literally turned into a zipper and zipped shut, let me repeat that my mouth LITERALLY turned into a zipper AND ZIPPED ITSELF SHUT. Seriously, do you know how utterly fucking terrifying for you body to be so radically altered at the whim of a random entity? My eyes widened and I freaked out, rolling on the ground attempting to scream and trying to unzip my lips. I then looked to Rainbow, who was laughing even harder due to my hysterics at this point, for support as Twilight glared a thousand suns at me but she was to busy laughing to notice. Twilight did some stress relief thing with her forehoof and looked at me calmly, still smoldering with anger underneath. Like, she was literally smoking...(Have I ever mention how utterly terrifying that seemingly innocuous little purple pony is?) She gritted her teeth and spoke.

   "We are going home, Now..." She said simply. Only god knew what was in store as she dragged away with her telekinesis.

   "MMMmmmmMmmm!!!" I cried out to Rainbow Dash in distress but she was still laughing, as I was slowly dragged off by Twilight.

Soon we reached the house, Twilight, having now let me walk on my own, and being a little calmer, opened the door for us. Only to reveal the dragon menace snickering.

   "So how was it Twi?" He said with a smirk. Her mane was a mess and she was one huge puffball of distress from all the occurrences as of late.

   "Horrible, Spike," she said pushing him to the side and walking into the house. There was an awkward pause before Spike gave me a weird look.

   "What did you possibly do to her? I have seen her get frustrated before or even mad but just... sheesh..." he said looking at me weirdly. I just silently walked by... and stepped on his tail as I did, on purpose, eliciting a yelp from the little bastard and walked away. By the time I was near the staircase leading to the halls I was talking to myself.

"I think I should go apologize..." I mumbled to myself. I paused for a moment, then walked up the stairs and down the right hallway. I came across a door that only turned out to be a bathroom (Which, surprise surprise, was crystal as well.), I shut the door swiftly and kept walking. There are so many doors in this place how did I find my room? Soon I came across a door with a crest like the tattoo on Twilights flank.

   "Of course," I sighed, I then opened the door. I had trouble getting the doorknob due to my hoof, but I managed, then I slid inside.

"Hello? Twilight?" I looked around to see Twilight pouting on her bed. She looked over at me glumly.

   "What is it George," She said ill-tempered. She looked at me pouting but she is so easy to read I could tell she was just a little sad.

   "I just came to say I am sorry for teasing you back there." I said sincerely, but of course she is a female none-the-less so she pressed the subject.

   "If you're so sorry then why did you," She said grumpily back to me.

   "Because... there isn't anything exactly fun here and teasing certainly is fun, not to mention, Rainbow so far was the closest thing to fun, look, I'll make it up to you. Do they have alcohol here?" I asked curiously to the purple pouting adorable alicorn. She gave me a funny look then proceeded.

   "Yes, they do but I don't see wha-" I cut her off excited at the discovery of booze.

   "Great! Once I get some money you and I are going to get some drinks" I said gleefully to her.

   "Well, I- I never have been much of a drinker before but I guess so..." She said nervously.

   "Wonderful! Now I am tired so excuse me as I pass out in my bed." I said yawning at the time of day. She was smiling again at my stupidity.

   "Alright, night George," She said yawning...Adorkable! That's what she is! I know now!

   "Night Twi," I said, she looked over at me and blushed.

   "Did you just call me by my nickname?" She asked. Did I just call her by her nickname? Oops.

   "Huh, I guess I did," No time to dwell on petty nicknames the power of sleep awaits me!

And when I finally found my room, I did. (Though I had some quite frankly uncomfortable dreams about sexy blue and purple wings and flanks of all colors... which, disturbingly enough, I enjoyed immensely. seriously what the hell is wrong with me?)