"Stupid stupid Star Shine," Spike grumbled as he kicked a pebble down a dirt path.

The young dragon was feeling particularly miserable today, all because his one true love decided to chase another stallion today. Yes, it was true, Rarity had another crush. This time it was a fashion producer named Star Shine. Apparently some of Rarity's designs had made an impression on him and he had come to Ponyville to personally request her presence at a fashion show in Trottingham. Of course, Rarity spent the whole time doting over him while at the same time making Spike fetch them both drinks.It wasn't fair to him at all.

Spike loved Rarity, and he has spent over a year waiting on her every whim. Why couldn't she ever love him back? He continued brooding over this point while he continued to walk and kick at pebbles. He was walking down a road that would eventually lead to the Everfree forest. All this stress has made him sick to his stomach, so he was going to see if Zecora had a special remedy for dragons.

Spike continued walking when his purple scaled foot met something that definitely wasn't a pebble.

"Ouch!" He exclaimed and started hopping on one foot. To his surprise, so did whatever he kicked.

"Do you mind?" the object asked.

"What? who's there?"

Spike brushed the dirt off of a half buried tea cup.

"Oh, just the guy who's home you are stepping on you dolt," the tea cup retorted.

"I'm sorry, uhm, mister. You are in the middle of the road though."

"Well if I could see outside of this wretched prison then I would take more care as to where it lands."

Spike was more than a little confused. He hooked his claws around the rim of the porcelain cup and pulled it out of the ground. He then noticed there was a metal lid on it, which seemed a bit odd and out of place.

"Say," began the cup in a sly voice, "you wouldn't mind brushing me off a bit would you? It would be nice to be rid of this irritating dirt."

"Sure thing. I guess it's the least I can do."

Spike started to rub the dirt off. He didn't get very far though, because after the third pass, the cup burst to life. The metal lid flew off, and a huge red storm cloud billowed out. Spike instantly dropped it out of fright.

The cloud wriggled and writhed like a snake. It continued to rise, but still seemed tethered to the tea cup by a tiny wisp of cloud. Spike watched as the end of the cloud slowly took the form of an earth pony. It was dark orange with a black mane and glowing red eyes. The cloud stopped forming into a pony about halfway down its body. It loomed over spike with an elated grin.

"Freedom at last! Hahahaha! Thank you little dragon. It feels soooo good to be out here in the open!"

"Uhm, sure thing mister."

"Well, I'm sure you didn't do it out of the goodness of your own heart, so what will it be? An infinitely large hoard? A couple of lusty dragon dames? Actually you look a bit young for that. Hmmm. Anyway, spit it out youngling!"

The abrupt anger in the cloud pony's voice startled Spike. This stranger's mood seemed to change with no reason or warning.

"Hey, you're a genie aren't you."

The genie in question rolled his eyes.

"Yes of course I am. How can you.. just... GAH never mind make your wish so I don't have to be around you anymore."

"Aren't genies supposed to grant three wishes? And for that matter, aren't they also supposed to live in lamps, not teacups?"

"DIDN'T YOUR PARENTS EVER TELL YOU NOT TO LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH!?"

The ground trembled as the genie grew increasingly angry. The cloud that tethered him to the teacup flashed and rumbled like a thundercloud.

"And for your information," he continued in a pleasant voice, "the rent on lamps is terribly exorbitant. That is a lot of gold I do not have."

Spike had no idea what a gift horse was, but he figured he would keep the unnecessary questions to a minimum.

"I wish Rarity would love me," Spike said to himself.

"What's that I hear," The genie asked enthusiastically, "a desperate cry for love? Well I think I can do that. I'll even make your three wishes for you so I can get it just right."

"I thought you only granted one-"

"TOO LATE, you said the words and your wish is my command. Now, let's see what this 'Rarity' looks like shall we?"

The genie reached down into Spike's frilly green ear and pulled out a small red tinted picture of Rarity. It exemplified her immensely beautiful features as Spike saw them. He wondered if he could hold onto that picture when the genie was done with it.

Spike's thought's were interrupted by intense bellowing laughter. The genie was writhing and clutching his chest as he laughed.

"This is your dearest love? AHAHAHA It's a pony. A PONY. I've heard of playing with your food before, but this is just... AHAHAHAHHH."

Spike looked down in dismay. Everyone, including Twilight, had told him his infatuation was ridiculous. Now even complete strangers mocked him about his love for Rarity. Despite his frustration, he did not protest, he was begining to think he deserved the ridicule.

"Eyy," the genie said in a brand new accent he had never used before, "don't be so down man. I'll hook you up, you know what I'm saying? I'll give you 24 hours of all the loving you could want okay? The moment that pretty dame lays eyes on you, she'll be all kinds of into you, ya dig? Really into you if you know what I mean hehehe."

With that, the genie took out a glowing red cloud in the shape of a heart. He shoved it into Spike's chest as if Spike were made of water.

"And now to make you more pony like," the genie continued in a fancy aristocratic voice.

He seized Spike and squished him into a ball like clay. Spike's stubby arms and legs folded in on themselves until he was nothing more than a purple ball with eyes. With a few whips of the genie's magical hooves, he began to sculpt Spike into a pony. He worked so fast, Spike didn't even notice when he was being dropped. With an "oof" Spike landed hard on his face. As he picked himself up, he immediately noticed a set of purple hooves instead of claws. His legs were super short, and he didn't feel as tall as Twilight or any of the other ponies he knew.He had been turned into a colt instead of a full grown pony. He stared in open mouthed shock at his new body as the genie continued his transformation

"And finally, we man you up a bit."

With a puff of smoke, the genie summoned a big tank with a hose on it. The only defining feature of the large metallic object was a symbol that looked like a circle with an arrow coming out of it.

The genie grabbed the hose and shoved the nozzle into Spike's gaping mouth. After closing it tight, he began to pump lots and lots of gross tasting foam down Spike's throat. The poor ex-dragon felt his body expanding. His eyes bulged out of his head, his joints popped and crackled, and his whole body screamed in protest. The process took several agonizing seconds. Once the hose was removed, Spike immediately began coughing.

"Well, lover boy, what do you think?"

Spike looked up at a hand held mirror the genie was holding in front of his face. He was a stallion now. A full grown, rather handsome pony. He was still purple with a green mane, and still had slit pupils.

"Well I guess I-" Spike cut himself short as he noticed his new pony voice.

"Woah. This is going to take some getting used to. Are you sure this will get Rarity to love me?"

"Oh yeah she will," the genie chuckled, "now go get her stud."

With a snap of his fingers, the genie was gone. The red cloud rapidly sealed itself inside its prison once more. The teacup then launched itself into the air like a rocket and flew off into the horizon. Spike similarly felt himself being lifted off his new hooves. Spike watched as the ground grew further away at an increasingly rapid rate. He was hurtled head over tail straight towards Ponyville. He yelled and flailed around in midair, trying to right himself. He just caught sight of the ground once again as it came up to meet him. The last thing Spike could think was, "This is going to hurt."

Author's Note

Quick FYI, the spicier content has been reserved for chapter two.