Brothers

by Dull Mist

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 6467

A genius and a drunkard, the unlikeliest of brothers spend the night getting into trouble

Starswirl the Bearded is a legend, or so the history books say. A founder of multiple schools of magic, a creator of hundreds of incredible spells, and a scientist of unparalleled match, his name is spoken with reverence and awe across all of Equestria.

What the history books never mentioned, however, was his older brother Starswill and all of the troubles that he put the unfortunate genius through. And there's likely a very good reason for that.

This is their story

Published 2014-05-15 01:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-15 00:29:34 UTC

For Science!

It was rainy in Canterlot that night. A thick blanket of cloud stretched from one end of the sky to another dropping torrents of rain on the heads of the ponies below it in the grand city, noble and commoner alike. The denizens of Canterlot not yet indoors rushed through the streets to their destinations, drawing coats and cloaks close to them to stave off the damp chill of the night.

“...The magi-sustainable binding has the load bearing capacity of 153.29 equivalent forces, just enough so that the reinforced flux accelerator and de-accelorator will not collapse under the pressure of both the industrial particle mixer and the...”

Despite the weather being as weary and dreary as it was, the ponies of Canterlot were just as lively as ever, not willing to let a rain interrupt the fun times that they had planned that night. Pubs, concert halls, and social clubs all had lanterns hanging above their doors on on windowsills, promising warm food, a strong fire, and good times within to any who were looking for it. Throughout Canterlot, if one listened very closely, the sounds of merriment and laughter as mugs of stiff alcohol and cups of hot tea were clinked together could be heard around every corner. It was the shelter of these establishments, the places where good times were to be had and good friends to be found, that most ponies out of doors were looking for.

“...If I double the conductivity matrix, the resulting spike of thaumaturgical energy output should send the localized electrical current into over drive which would cause sub-atomic vortex to mix both the inner and outer flows of my magic, which would result in...”

Of course, there were exceptions to every rule, and this was no exception.

High above the city, in one of the tallest towers that Canterlot's castle had to offer, was the domain of young researcher famed for incredible intellect, magical prowess, keen wisdom, and odd choice of musical attire. A young stallion with a dark blue coat and short, neat mane of silver lived here, where the castle stretched highest into the heavens, and he very rarely left.

The stallion glided across the cold wooden floors of his private hold, driven by what some what call purpose, and others would call madness. In actuality, it was a potent mixture of both that drove him from instrument to instrument, checking gauges, metres, and indicators, adjusting the occasional piece as he saw fit. Purpose and madness, mixed with a healthy amount of ingenuity and insomnia.

The bells that lined his long, swishing cloak jingled with each movement. The stallion claimed that they helped him concentrate by overshadowing any background noises with their own merry sounds and keep his mind sharp and focused. It was because of them that he didn't hear the front door to his apartment opening.

“Conditions are optimal...everything is...ready.” The stallion muttered, hovering over his creation that he was about to breath life into. A form lay on a long metal table, a creature made of a mishmash of many parts that the stallion had made with his magic and his wits. It was a creature that the world had never known before.

Not yet, at least.

Outside, as the world continued to storm, an errant spear of lightning flashed down from the sky and struck the long, metal rod that the stallion had painstakingly installed to the roof of apartments. The metal implement glowed red hot as it was struck with enough energy to bring down a full grown dragon, and wires leading from the rod down to his room crackled with barely contained electricity.

“It's time...” He said, turning away from the lifeless form as he eyed the energy fueled machinery around him, whirring buzzing and whistling as they were energized by the very forces of nature. It was now or nothing.

Next to the table, a long lever jutted out of the floor, a red rubber handle with a skull and crossbones on it a warning to foolish and curious ponies to stay away. The wrapped his magical aura around it and braced himself to pull, for while he was endlessly curious, he was no fool.

“For science!”he announced triumphantly to the dimly lit interior of his domain before pulling the lever-

“SURPRISE!”

-and snapping it off right from the base as a pair of hooves closed over his eyes and a voice yelled straight into his ear, startling his concentration and causing him to put much more force into the pull than he had intended. The lever flew out of his magical grip and sailed across the wide expanse of the room, crashing through his a large stained glass window depicting the sun and moon in their everlasting dance of the day and night cycle. It was now sporting a good sized hole where the sun once was.

“Wooaah brother, what are you doing up here? I mean, I know that window was ugly as sin, but you don't need to destroy it. It was a -hic- gift from Celestia for...Celestia's sake!” The decidedly male voice said as it removed its hooves from his eyes.

The stallion took a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes traveling from the sparking base of the lever on the ground to his still lifeless creation to the hole in his window. He knew that voice, and by the Gods above it was the last thing that he wanted to hear right now.

“Brother...” he said with barely constrained fury bubbling just under the calm surface. “Do you know what you just did?”

“Hm? Me? Well...” there was a pause, and the stallion turned to get a good look at the intruder. The two ponies could almost be twins by the looks of them, both had dark coats and silvery hair, and both sported cutie marks depicting magical symbols and runes that most ponies didn't know the meaning of. The only way one could tell the difference between the two was that one was smiling broadly with cheeks tinged red, and the other scowling profusely.

Finally, the intrusive pony shrugged, smiling without a care in the world. “I damn near gave me li'l brother a heart attack, that's what!” he said with a cackling laugh, slapping the angry magician on the back.

Something in the poor stallion snapped. “No you colossal nincompoop! My experiment! You ruined my experiment!” he hollered as loudly as his voice could go, which admittedly wasn't very loud. The other stallion didn't even blink at the verbal assault as he went digging through his soaking wet robes for something.

“Easy there, brother dearest...” he mumbled distractedly as he rifled through his pockets, bringing out all manner of garbage and trinkets. A yo-yo, a bear carved out of soapstone, a tooth that once belonged to a dragon, and one of those ridiculous little black balls that was supposed to tell the future all fell out across the floor, among other things, which only served to fuel the flames of the magician scientists brother. “I'm sure your -hic- super duper important experiment can wait for another day. Besides, isn't your older brother coming over to tell ya how much he loves ya more important than a silly -hic- science project?”

“Starswill...” the younger of the two replied with gritted teeth. “I appreciate the sentiment, but must you be so boorishly, obnoxiously, oafishly-”

“Found it!” the pony know as Starswill cried out victoriously, lifting his prize in the air for the world to see. Clutched in his hoof was an old flask made out of tarnished and worn silver, and he eagerly unscrewed the top and took a long swig of his contents.

“Oh for the love of...” the pony known as Starswirl said, kneading his brow with a hoof as he watched his brother gulp down whatever heinous concoction of his was in that dirty flask. “I should have known.”

The pony let out a sharp sigh as he took the flask away from his mouth, screwed the top back on, and hid it back in his damp clothes. “Aw, c'mon little brother! What are you doing cooped up inside on a nice ol' night like this?” Lightning flashed once more outside the broken window behind them, and the new hole in the glass giving them an unimpeded view of the howling wind and rain. “You should be out 'n' about, living your life! I'm sure that your-” he eyed the mishmash of different animal parts that lay motionless on the table. “-whatever that is...can wait.”

“Whether it can or can't is irrelevent, brother. I have no desire to go out right now.” Starswirl spun his tipsy brother around, making sure that he didn't accidentally knock him over his own hooves, and started to walk him to the front door. “Now if you could please leave so that I-”

He was cut off as a blue aura surrounded his body, lifting his hooves off the ground. “That's spirit brother! Let's ditch this dump and find some real fun!” he said jubilantly as he walked out the door and started down the stairs with his confused and upset prisoner floating behind him.

“Wait, no! That's not what I said you drunken oaf! Put me down!” Starswirl protested, his magic working ineffectively. As powerful as he was, his brother was in a league of his own, partly because he was born with immense magical strength for a unicorn, and partly because of his years in the Royal Guard as a battlemage. All he could do was squirm ineffectively in midair.

The last thing he saw before the door closed behind him as his brother started to painfully sing one his favourite drinking songs was the forlorn and forgotten machinery from his experiment, still powered on and waiting to be used.

The rain splattered ineffectively against the small arcane barrier that Starswirl had conjured to protect himself from the elements, just big enough to shield him from the dismal weather, yet small enough that it protected only him. His brother could soak in the rain until morning came for all he cared, even if the drunk pony didn't seem to at all.

He sighed as he floated beside the teetering and tottering pony, taking occasional swigs from his favourite flask as he made his way down twisting alleyways side streets. Starswirl tried his best to commit the directions they were going to memory so that he would be able to get back when he managed to get away from his inebriated captor, but even his powerful mind wasn't up to the task. Canterlot was notorious for having some of the most confusingly designed streets in all of ponydom, and he didn't get out often enough to know them too well.

“Stars-s-swill...” he muttered, clutching his robes close to him. His shield may have blocked the rain and most of the wind, but it didn't do much to keep the chill out of him. He wasn't as hardy as his older brother, hardened as he was by the rigorous training that he had went through to be accepted as a battlemage, so his teeth chattered and his legs quivered as he tried to talk. “W-where under the m-moon are you taking me?”

The pony looked over at his prisoner hovering beside him and grinned. “Don't worry your fancy little bells ya big lug! We'll get there pronto like, for sure! No need to tie your tail in a knot. Here...” he rummaged through his robes a bit before pulling out something metal and tossing it unceremoniously behind him. “take a whiff of that and you'll feel much better!”

Starswirl caught it in his magic and peered closely at it in the dim light that the night afforded him. It didn't take long for him to recognize it.

“Oh for the love of...” he sneered in distaste at the flask, a picture of a svelte mare grinning coquettishly at him behind a lace fan engraved on the metal. “How many of these things do you have?”

“Eh? What, lost your taste in brandy, have you? Don't worry, don't worry, I'm sure I have some gin in here somewhere...a mite easier on the gullet, it is...”

Starswirl growled as he started to tip over until he was hovering upside down, the blood rushing to his head as his robes fell away from him, dragging across the ground and causing the numerous bells that lined its stitches to ring as it started to soak up water. “I don't want any alcohol, brother!” he snarled, throwing the flask as hard as he could at the other pony's head. It bounced off of his skull without even eliciting a flinch from him. “What I want is to go home!”

“Ah, c'mon you cantankerous crybaby! Didn't mum say the other day that she wanted you out o' that bloody tower and meeting other ponies? You spend so much time cooped up in there that you don't even know the difference between night and day!”

Starswirl fumed as he glared at him. “That's ridiculous and you know it. As for what mother said to me, it has nothing to do with you.”

Starswill looked at the pony with wide, offended eyes. “Swirly! How could you say that?” he asked, the picture of affronted. “I'm your brother for aether's sake! I'm only looking out for your wellbeing! 'Sides...” His eyes turned serious for a moment, and much more lucid seeming than any pony who had ingested as much alcohol as he had right to be. “she asked me to look for you, get you out of your shell and such. She ain't happy with all that hermit business you've been up to ya know.”

Starswirl's fuming stopped abruptly as his brow furrowed in confusion. “She...did? Why didn't she talk to me about it?”

“Aye, she did. As for why she di'n tell ya...” Staswill said before he took another long swig from his flask, breathing a sharp, satisfied sigh as the alcohol burned his insides just the way he liked it. “She might as well have if you spent a bloody moment to see her every now and then, you li'l twit.”

Starswirl frowned indignantly. “I'll have you know that I spoke to her just last...” he paused for a moment to recall the exact day. Surely it couldn't be more than a month ago! Starswirl was many things, a scholar, a magician, and a genius all of unprecedented levels, but he was also a dutiful son, that was for sure. “Just last mother's day!” he finished triumphantly, glad to prove his brother wrong. Now if he would only let him go for a second...

“That was six bloody months ago Swirly, ya daft dodderer.” Starswill growled, digging through his robes for doubtless another piece of alcohol, once again letting loose a slew of knick knacks and baubles from his pockets. In his lapse of concentration, Starswirl started to drift away from the pony, which unfortunately resulted in his older brother floating him headfirst into streetlight.

“Eh? Ah...sorry 'bout that mate...” he said halfheartedly as Starswirl let out a string of dark curses and nursed his sore nose. The upside down stallion glared murder at his older brother, his teeth gritting themselves to nubs.

“Could you...please...put me down?” he seethed. The drunken pony looked at him skeptically for a moment, although his eyes seemed to drift away from him every now and then. Starswirl found himself wondering how much his brother had had to drink already. Knowing him, he'd already put a few bars out of business this night alone.

“Will ya go gallivantin' off to tha' tower o' yours?”

Starswirl opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated. From what he could tell, it didn't seem like going back home to salvage what he could of his experiment was going to be an option. He was going out tonight, whether he liked it or not, and he might as well get there on his own hooves than in the precarious grasp of his drunk off his flank brother. There were probably plenty more signposts and streetlights from here to their destination after all.

He sighed dejectedly. “Alright brother...I'll come with you.” He might as well. If his mother really asked Starswill to get him out of his apartments, then he was going to no matter what Starswirl said. The stallion always was a momma's boy through and through.

Has it really been six months? he thought to himself.

“Tha's the spirit!” Starswill cheered, righting Starswirl with his magic and dropping him on the cobblestone street, very nearly depositing him in a massive puddle. Starswirl took a moment to reorient himself after being upside down for so long, drawing his robes in close before a hoof wrapped around his neck and drew him in for a tight squeeze. “Ya won't regret this Swirly! I'm gonna show ya the time o' your life!”

Starswirl gave his elder brother a halfhearted smile as he tried in vain to pull away. The pungent smell of alcohol wafted off of him as though he had bathed in the stuff this morning. “I'm sure you will Starswill...I'm sure you will...”

“An' mum'll be so pleased! Y'know, you really should see her more often, the only thing the poor lady does is garden all day and talk to that neighbour o' hers. You know, the young one with the muscles who helps clean out her pipes? She says he's a right gentlecolt, but she needs more than just...”

Starswirl suppressed a groan as they continued tramping through the streets of Canterlot, the rain hitting his magical barrier and sliding off around him but still feeling the harsh chill. His brother, alway with a constitution that Starswirl was envious of, didn't give the night a second though as he rambled on and on about whatever crossed his mind. It was at that moment that he did something that he didn't normally do even in the worst situations.

Celestia, I know you're not actually a goddess, but if you're listening...please let me make it through this night. he prayed.

Author's Note

I don't know why I made this.

I've been sick for the past while and haven't been able to muster up the will to write down the latest chapter of The Alicorn Ring, so in my sickness addled mind I recalled a comment mentioning how I misspelled "Starswirl" into "Starswill" and though it would be a peachy idea to write this instead. I don't even know if it will go anywhere, but then again, I hardly ever do.

Oh well. Enjoy, I suppose.

Two Ponies Walk Into a Bar...

“And hear we are, Swirly ol' boy! My second home!” Starswill announced with a proud wave of his hoof as they came to a stop in a mostly abandoned part of the city. The rain had abated to the point where it was just a drizzle with the occasional bursts of wind. Starswirl looked at the where his brother was indicating, and his face fell.

“It looks like an old warehouse.” he remarked. Looking down a wide alleyway nearby, he noticed a large amount of crates, barrels, and pallets stacked haphazardly on each other. In front of what Starswirl was reasonably sure was the front door, there was an old sign that read Keep's. “In fact, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what this is.”

“Right you are, boyo!” The intoxicated stallion cheered as he pulled his brother in close around his neck and dragged him toward the front door. “Used to be that this joint was the place to get only the finest quality salt on this side of the mountain. It was a small business, run by a few eager lads, but when their mines ran dry they had no choice but to sell it to Ol' Bar Keep.”

Starswirl attempted to recoil from his brother, his disgusting breath causing the beleaguered stallion to gag. He was held fast, however.

“W-who?” he managed to choke out from under his brother's grip around his neck.

“The owner! Bar Keep the owner of this fine establishment.” Starswill replied. He winked at his brother. “Don't worry, I'll introduce you.”

His horn flashed with magic, and the door flew open at a blistering speed, crashing against the wall with a bang. Dragging his brother behind him, he leapt inside, knocking Starswirl's head against the doorframe as he did so, the poor stallion stumbling in the hem of his long robes and falling to the ground despite having a strong hold around him..

“Have no fear lads and ladies, your best buddy has returned!” he shouted into the interior of the bar with a wild smile on his face. Before Starswirl could get to his hooves, an empty glass hurled by one of its patrons smashed against the wall just next to his drunk brother's head, sending bits of glass and ice cubes raining on down on him.

“Keep trying Rusty!” Starswill called, his smile not fading for a second. He only got a vile curse in return.

“Heh...s'good to be home.” Finally, he noticed Starswirl on the ground, covered in bits of glass and ice . “Oi, what're you doing down there Swirly?”

The magician quickly untangled himself and stood, teetering slightly as he brushed the broken glass and ice from his robes. “Taking cover you great galoot.” he snipped. “I thought we were being attacked by your drunkard friends.”

Starswill brayed a loud laugh and slapped him on the back. “Naw Swirly, that's just how we say hello! Ain't that right guys?”

“Go sit on a screw and spin!” growled a harsh voice from somewhere in the bleakness. This time, it was a bottle that was thrown across the room, and it sailed high above the two the stallions and bounced off the wall, falling straight onto the back of the head of a pony who was sitting with their head face down on the table. Disturbingly, the pony didn't react in the slightest.

“There, see? They're harmless. Now c'mon, let's not forget the reason we came here.”

Starswirl resisted the urge to sigh as his brother started to walk further into the bar, manouevering around disorganized chairs, stools and tables with patrons sprawled around, on, an sometimes under them. Because I had no other choice? Because you have a habit of popping up at the worst possible times? Because nothing makes your day more than annoying me? He thought to himself. Had he spoken aloud, he would have spat out his words with as much bitterness he could muster.

No, that's not entirely fair. A quieter, more rational voice interrupted. I haven't seen him in months. This is just his way of showing that he cares, like family should. Starswirl was reminded of many occasions that he had heard Princess Celestia herself remark on the importance of familial ties. According to her, as long as it was properly looked after, like a dutiful gardener would the most delicate of flowers, there was no bond stronger or more pure that could tie ponies together. She would always a somewhat sad look to her eyes when she said it too, although Starswirl had never figured out why.

He pushed the thoughts from his mind and looked around. Surely it won't be too... His thoughts petered off into nothing as he got a better look at the ponies frequenting the bar. Starswirl felt a little drop of fear settle in his chest. Scars, frowns, and narrowed, suspicious eyes marked every face, as much so on the mares as the stallions. Each one of them greeted him with foul grimaces and sharp looks, none of them looking the slightest bit inviting for a conversation. Hygiene did not seem to be the popular thing around this area, he could tell from the smell in the air, and he suspected that many of the brown or grey coats that the ponies in the bar were sporting were not naturally so. He found himself quickly making a check of potential exits, just in case, only to find to his dismay that the only one was the door they had came through. He found himself suddenly regretting the decision to wear his favourite robes with bells sewn on the hem, as he realized that he stuck out worse than a minotaur at a ballet recital.

“C'mon then brother, let me introduce you to the fella who runs the place. I'm needing something wet my whistle a bit.”

“O-of course Starswill...that sounds like a...splendid idea.” the scholar mumbled in reply. The actual bar part of the establishment was the one that got the most light, all of which was provided by wall hanging clusters of candles that seemed to be on their last bit of life, the wicks almost burned down to their bases. Considering what the rest of the place was like, with little to no light to be seen from with plenty of little dark spaces where someone could be hiding, Starswirl eagerly followed his tipsy brother into the sparse light.

Starswill grabbed his cloak with his magic and tore it off of his shoulders before slamming it down onto the bar counter, eliciting a number of rattles and clanks from its contents. Where he managed to keep all of those flasks, bottles and whatever other shiny things his brother carried, Starswirl never knew.

“Oi, Keep! Where are ya, ya lazy ol' bastard? Ya got thirsty customers!” Starswill yelled as he took his seat on a barstool that looked to be held together by nothing more than twigs, duct tape, and good intentions. He banged on the table with a forehoof impatiently, causing Starswirl to flinch at the sudden outburst as he took his seat to the left of his sibling, well away from any of the other patrons of the bar. They were all looking the two of them, he could tell, and he just wanted to get through this night intact.

“Brother, could you please refrain from doing that?”

“Why should I? There's thirsty ponies here. Oi, Keep!” He banged once more. “We're waiting!”

Starswirl sunk in his rickety seat, moaning quietly at himself while his brother caused a ruckus. He took a moment to glance around the room, a risky move considering how hard he was trying to avoid eye contact with anyone else, and found that nobody was paying them any more mind. Still, he sunk into his robes a bit, pulling them closer around him to simulate some sort of safety barrier between him and the uncouth ones he found himself amongst. There was no way he was going to be taking off his robes in this place. They were his favourite ones, and many of the ponies had been eyeing them as soon as he walked in. Or at least, he thought they had been.

That's not to say that most ponies didn't eye his robes when he wore them out in public. The bells were rather hard not to notice. He just never noticed them doing so before now, so absorbed in his own thoughts as he tended to be. It just so happened that his mind was currently occupied by the mean, dirty, scarred faces that surrounded him now instead on his experiments and hypotheses as it usually was.

There was a clanking, then a crunching, then the sound of something wooden breaking muffled through the wall. A door opened behind the bar, one that Starswirl hadn't noticed, and Starswill smiled wide.

“Keep! So good to see you again!”

Starswirl watched the figure approach walk out from the shadows that the back room offered, the sparse light only barely defining the features of the bartender. Large as he was, Towering over Starswirl while clearly being quite muscular, the one called Bar Keep didn't make a noise approaching the two. Furthermore, there was something very off with the way he looked. There were more sharp lines and ridges than most ponies had, and he had a wider neck and smaller head than Starswirl had ever seen.

Starswirl's imagination ran wild with possibilities. He was picturing a large, deformed stallion, maybe made so by some birth defect or industrial accident. He imagined a hunched back with a knobby head, sallow cheeks, and beady little eyes.

It would make sense as to why there's so little lig- The magician's thoughts cut off when the fellow stepped into the light, and he instantly realized that Bar Keep wasn't a pony. Most ponies didn't have feathered heads, dark circles around their eyes, golden coloured eyes, and a razor sharp beak covered with a long, jagged scar on it for a mouth.

“How me favourite bird doing, eh?” Starswill said affectionately to the tall griffin who narrowed his eyes at the stallion and said nothing. “I wanna introduce you to my little brother, Starswirl. He's been stuck up in the castle for so long that he's been itching to get out, so I'm showing 'im a good time tonight.”

The gruff griffin looked at Starswirl, and the magician found his breath caught in his throat. Those predator eyes locked on his own, he felt very much like field mouse caught in the corner by a cat. It didn't help that he had never actually met a griffin before in his rather sheltered life, rare as they are in Equestria, Canterlot especially.

“H-hello sir. Lovely e-establishment you have h-h-here...” He finally managed to choke out weakly. Starswill patted him the shoulder somewhat consolingly, as though he understood what his poor brother was going through. Starswirl found it odd however that he hadn't bothered to warn him.

That blasted bugger wanted to see me squirm. He thought to himself with a bitter glance at his brother. Sure enough, he could see the corners of his mouth tilted upwards ever so slightly, and not just because he was minutes away from obtaining more alcohol.

The griffin only studied Starswirl, the hawk like eyes and threatening looking beak making the poor stallion tremble. He cast his gaze up and down the stallion, taking in his clothes and demeanour in less that second, and then much to his relief, looked towards Starswill expectantly.

“Righto! Let's get down to business! It's a special occasion today,” he cast Starswirl a wink as he tossed down a small bag of bits on the table. “so I'll be having a glass of Barley Brandy, Hop's Scotch, and Tipsy Princess Rum.”

“Really brother?” Starswirl muttered as the fearsome bartender nodded and turned away, the noise of bottles clinking together softly filling the air. “Could you not get just one drink instead of three? You're already drunk enough.”

Starswill passed him an admonishing look. “First of all Swirly, there ain't no such thing as drunk enough, 'specially not when I'm fully capable of formin' complete sentences. Second of all, I did order only one drink. We don't wanna be spendin' our entire night here after all, now do we? ”

Their attention was brought back to Bar Keep as he slammed down three bottles of unstoppered alcohol of different sizes and colours along with a short drinking glass. Each bottle let loose its own strong, repugnant smell made Starswirl's nose want to curl up and die. With obviously practiced precision, Bar Keep swiftly poured three splashes of each drink into the cup, shook it, and slid it across the table to Starswill who caught it with his magic and smiled. “Now then, what'll ya be havin li'l brother? It's on me.” he asked as he took a sip and smacked his mouth appreciatively.

Starswirl blinked twice, opened his mouth, and then closed it without saying anything. It's a wonder that he can still taste anything. He turned to the griffon who was now staring at him with an unreadable expression, his yellow eyes sharp and hard enough enough to cut diamond. “I'll...I'll have the least alcoholic drink you have, good sir. A cider, or a wine. Whatever is lightest, please.”

The griffon's eyes narrowed at him, and a hard line appeared next to his scarred beak where his jaw hardened. Without breaking eye contact, he reached under the table, withdrew a dusty bottle, slammed it on the table, and walked away to serve another patron who was at the other end of the bar, a cloaked pony hunched over a bottle who seemed to be looking for another.

Starswirl gulped. “I don't think he likes me very much.”

“'S probably because you keep calling the poor lady 'sir.'” Starswill commented nonchalantly.

Starswirl whirled to face his brother who he could now see was smirking behind his glass. “Brother! Why didn't you tell me that? You know I've never met a griffon before! How was a supposed to tell?” he hissed angrily. Starswill guffawed, and then coughed violently as his unholy concoction splashed into his mouth and went down the wrong hole.

The scientist huffed. “Honestly. You act like a child sometimes.” he muttered, turning away from his hacking brother and looking at the drink that had been put in front him. A quick study of the dusty bottle revealed it to be a bottle of Crab Apple's Hard Cider. Starswill unstopped the bottle, cleared the dust off of the mouthpiece with a piece of his cloak, and took a careful sip. He winced as it burned his tongue, and examined the label again. 15 % alcohol it proclaimed. A very hard cider indeed, although it tasted less like apples and more like the dirt that they grow in.

“Well, how can I be expected to know she's a lady if she doesn't even speak...” Starswirl muttered, eyeing the dangerous looking griffon as she served the pony at the other end of the bar. He flushed at the embarrassment, and took a swallow of the cider. Surely, if he had ever met a griffon before, male or female, he would have been able to tell the difference.

Starswill chuckled. “Oh, you won't be gettin a word out of her, Swirly. Bar Keep doesn't speak much, on account of her 'avin no tongue and all.”

Starswirl almost spat out his drink. “What? Whyever not?”

“The damn thing was cut out. Don't go askin' me why or by who, cus I sure as shit dunno.”

Starswirl wrinkled his nose at the foul language. How his brother managed to get into the royal guard, he never knew, much less the battlemages.

“I'll tell you this though...” Starswill said in a low voice as he leaned in close, almost falling off of his stool in the process. “Rumor 'as it she was part o' the griffon mafia 'afore smuggling 'erself to Equestria, and that for them to let her go, they need to cut out her tongue so she wouldn't go spillin any secrets.” He smiled and shrugged. “S'all hearsay though. Can't trust nothin' you hear in rumour.”

Starswill stared at his brother, and not only becasue the stallion was already halfway done his drink. Honestly, the stallion has the tolerance of a dragon! Rather, he was surprised more at the company that he kept amongst the seedier underbelly of Canterlot. It did seem like something that he would do though, if Starswirl was being honest with himself. He suddenly found himself to be a lot more worried about the upcoming night.

To hell with it. He thought to himself. There's no way that I'm going to live through this if I'm in my right mind. And with that, Starswirl upended the bottle of cider and drank poured its contents down his throat.

He instantly regretted it as he was sent into a coughing fit, the alcohol burning his throat far worse than he expected. The only alcoholice bevereages he was familiar with was the occasional glass of wine he would have, often in the presence of nobles, fellow scientists, and occasionally the Princess herself, although those times were rare. His brother slapped his back enthusiastically as his eyes watered, almost hard enough to send him face planting into the bar.

I probably should have taken that a bit slower.

“'Atta boy Swirly! Now you're getting into the spirit of things! Speaking of spirits...” Starswill banged his cup against the bar, the ice tinkling in the empty glass. “Oi keep, give us a round two, would'ja?”

“Brother, please, I don't really think that I need-” Starswirl began to wheeze, only to be cut off.

“Nonsense! If you ain't at least a little tipsy walkin' outta that door, then I ain't doin' my job!”

Before he could protest any further, Bar Keep was already in front of them, quickly pouring out rum, brandy and whisky another concoction and grabbing another cider for the two of them. Starswill rummaged through his pockets for some more bits for a moment, muttering under his breath..

“I could'a sworn I had another bloody purse around 'ere somewhere...” Starswill said to himself. Bar Keep's eyes swivelled to him and narrowed dangerously. Starswirl noticed this and backed away slightly from the claw that was resting on the bar a little too close to hime for comfort.

“Brother...” he whispered worryingly. From the way she looked at him, he suspected that the griffon liked Starswill more for his money than his charms.

“Dun worry Swirly, I'll find it...” he replied, not looking up.

“Allow me.” said a feminine voice from behind them. A good sized bag of bits, far more than Starswirl would be comfortable showing in this establishment floated in between the two stallions and landed on the bar with an audible thud that must have perked the ears of everybody in the room. Starswill looked up in surprise just as Bar Keep quickly swiped the bag underneath the table and handed the two of them their drinks. “And I'll have a Bucking Bronco, if you please.”

The two stallions turned to see the pony dressed from head to hoof in robes that had been sitting on the other side of the bar, its face obscured by a hood. A leg promptly reached up and removed the hood to reveal a pleasant looking grey mare with a wavy light pink mane smiling at them guilelessly. “Would you two mind if I joined you?”

Before Starswirl could even blink, his brother had hopped off the stool and sat on the one next to it, leaving a space open between them. “But of course!” he said jubilantly. “A couple o' stallions such as ourselves would be right honoured to share your company, Miss...”

“Skies.” she said with a smile as she took her seat in between them. “Sunny Skies.”