Twilight Sparkle Goes To Hell

by Dr Atlas

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 9094

And the Devil is just as surprised as she is. Well, might as well give her the grand tour.

Usually when a file says that one of the elements have died, the devil usually thinks its just another pony (or other creature) that is trying to get to heaven. So he burns the file and sends the so called element bearer to his place.
This time its different. Very different.

Published 2014-05-15 23:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-24 14:14:21 UTC

Welcome...

Darkness.

That was all she could see, she couldn’t even see her own hoof if she held it to her face, but as of right now, she couldn’t lift anything, even her own hoof. She wasn’t sure if her eyes were open or not, but she didn’t care about that right now. There was one question that was bothering her more than anything.

“Where am I?” She said, only to hear an echo.

Slowly, she started getting up, the floor was just as dark as the rest of the place, it was nothing but a black void. “What is this place?” She, said out loud. “How did I get here?” She tried her best to answer that question with her memory, but nothing could come to mind, the last thing she could remember was...was…

“Why can’t I remember?” These questions were starting to bother her, and they were making her slightly concerned. Did she have amnesia? No, she still remembered her life, her family and friends. Where are her friends? She remembered being with them a little while ago, she was also with….she knew it wasn’t just her friends, there was someone else there with them, or were there two ponies she was with.

As she finally stood on all fours she took a look around, trying to find some source of light. “Hello?” She was hoping for an answer, just some indication that she wasn’t alone in all of this darkness. With no response, she was starting to get scared. She was alone, none of her friends were around, it was just her and all of this darkness.

“Well well well, Its about time you woke up.” A voice! and it wasn’t hers. She was so happy to hear it, though that voice wasn’t very cheery, its tone was just as dark as this room, it almost reminded her of-

“Chain her.” The voice said in monotone. Almost instantly, she felt something cold and hard wrap around her neck and arms, she immediately struggled. She tried using her magic but something was blocking it off. “I’d suggest not to struggle, but I’m sure you’ll act just like the others.”

Others? What was this voice talking about. She had to get some answers, she started with the obvious one. “Who are you?” She yelled. Instantly her entire body was pulled forward, the chains around her neck and hooves hurt even more, and as she came to a stop she was blinded by some sort of white light.

“Hmm. If it isn’t the so called princess Twilight Sparkle.” The voice said sinisterly.

Twilight squinted her eyes, trying to get some sort of glimpse as to what was talking to her. “How do you know my name?” She asked.

“Oh come now, we both know that's not true.” Twilight couldn’t comprehend what this voice was talking about.

“What?” She said blankly. Her eyes were still trying to adjust to the light, but the darkness that had surrounded her before seemed to make it impossible.

“Dim the lights boys.” The voice seemed to ask to someone else, were there more here than just her and this voice?

“YeS sIr” an even more sinister voice said in response. Twilight was starting to panic, what was with these demonic voices, why was she here, and what was with the chains. The light dimmed down and Twilight could finally see.

She then wished she couldn't. She was stunned to see what was in front of her. It was a beast of abomination, it was the most horrifying thing she had seen, yet it still looked like a pony, it was standing on all fours, its skin was red all over, it was wearing a suit and tie with sunglasses covering his eyes, and on top of his head were a pair of horns, and as for its tail it was long and thin with a head of a spear shaped end, its wings looked like something a bat would have. That tail was swishing back and forth and the expressionless face was staring down on her, she could see her own scared face in the reflection of the glasses. The beast then gave a grin, showing its white teeth and fangs. “Now would probably be the perfect time to tell the truth.” It said.

Twilight was speechless. What was this creature, she had never seen a pony look like this, she had to ask. “W-who….What are you?”

The beast sighed. “I might as well answer that.” He walked up to her and stared at her. Twilight tried to move away, but the chains around her neck and wrists were making it difficult. “I go by many names,” It said. “the master of lies, the fallen angel, the dark one, now that ones my favorite, being dark is pretty cool.”

He continued talking and all the while Twilight started to get the picture. She knew what this beast truly was, but this thing was something that couldn't exist. This beast shouldn't even be talking to her, this thing was- “Or you can call me by my most famous name.” The creature interrupted her train of thought and took off his glasses, revealing his glowing yellow eyes. Twilight could see the small fire in the middle of his iris. He opened his mouth and said. “You can call me...The Devil.” He ended with an evil smile.

Twilight’s jaw dropped, she couldn’t believe it. She heard all about this creature in that forbidden book, and he shouldn't exist. “Theres no way you’re real!” She yelled. The devil just leaned back and laughed.

“Real?" He said. "Tell me changeling, just what is real?”

“Real is...changeling? What?” Did she hear that right?

“Oh for Faust sake will you just drop the act. You know, you’re not the first to do this, you creatures are really crafty, i’ll admit, but you need to understand that doing this.” He pointed at her. “is something that can ruin the entire death cycle. So just drop it.”

“D-drop what?” Twilight squeaked.

The devils eyes started to literally erupt in flames, Twilight could almost feel the heat coming from them. “The disguise you bug. Drop. It. NOW!” He ended with a stomp to a ground, Twilight then saw a green fire surround her. Her heart was pounding, how will she explain that shes a pony, or alicorn in this case.

“I’m not a changeling, I swear!” She yelled. The ring of fire started getting closer to her, Twilight looked around for a way out, but with chains keeping her in place, she was trapped.

“Oh...We’ll see about that you pathetic excuse for a...hu?” The fire immediately died down, making the devil look at her in confusion. “H-how...that...that makes no…Hold on.” He lit the ring of fire again but it had the same result. Twilight looked back and forth worriedly. What was this devil trying to do? After five attempts he sat down and scratched his head. “What is wrong with this spell, it should've totally revealed you by now….unless” He scratched his chin, unable to think of just what to do.

“Y-you need to-” Twilight tried to talk but a yank on the chain stopped her.

“qUiEt!” A voice yelled at her.

“Hey now!” The devil yelled. “Be careful ya imp.” He looked very seriously at Twilight. “She could be the real deal.” Twilight heard gasps around her. “Now take them off!” Her chains dropped and the collar and shackles came off of her. Twilight looked around in astonishment. What was going on?

“What are you-”

“Not now mare, I need to see if this isn't some sort of trick.” The devil put his hoof into his suit and pulled out some flat object that Twilight had never seen before, he then tapped it and held it to his ear. “Yeah...Yeah its me...I know I’m not supposed to talk to you but...but...but...Will you just hear me out….Oh for Faust sake will you just….Yes I will say your name in vain cause this is important.”

Twilight just stared at him, who was he talking to. “Uh...Devil?”

The devil held up a hoof, signaling for her to be quiet. “Not now princess, I’m talkin’ with the big mare upstairs.”

“Who?” Twilight asked.

The devil just turned back to his flat object and continued talking. “I’m sorry what? I was talking to the mare….Her names Twilight….Twilight Sparkle….yes the Twilight Sparkle….I don’t know, you tell me that...What….Season what now….that makes no sense, I thought we were on season f- WHAT!? Why did that happen.”

Twilight was getting concerned, this creature was either talking to himself, or that strange thing he’s holding had a voice that was talking back to him. “How did she….yes I know the file was brought to me….I burned it….Hey hey hey! Calm down, I still have a copy...No I didn't read it….Because I knew it was a fake...Because a princess like her isn't supposed to die, aren't they immortal or something anyway.”

DIE?! Did she hear that right? Twilight almost fell to the floor, was she… “Devil...Is that true!?”

“She’s not...ugh...hold on big F. What did you say?”

“Am...am I…” Twilight gulped “Dead?”

The devil looked at her blankly. “Yeah, you are, now will you be quiet for a bit...I’m still talkin’ to the Faust-er”

It was at that moment that Twilight fainted to the floor. The devil noticed, rolled his eyes, and continued talking through his flat phone. “Hu?...Yeah, she fainted...Well how was she supposed to take it...well how did she die anyway...battle?....resurrection of whom?....Return of the night? What does that even mean….well I’ll admit, that is a nice way to end it, but she’s supposed to be with you...yes I know you’re angry about me not reading the file, but its really not my...well actually it is, b-but I can fix it...I just need to get the file and make sure all of this is true, then I can bring her to you, okay...wait, what?..NO! Nopony has enough power to do that. NOPONY! Yes I will talk in my demonic voice because you know I hate it when they do that...because its stupid when shows do that….look….No don’t worry, I’ll take her with me and show her around while i’m at it, then I can get the file and bring her to you, okay….okay bye...what...oh...uh...yeah...I, uh….IloveyoutoMissFaust.”

The devil then hung up the phone and rubbed his temples. “Man, she sounds just like my mother.” He then rolled his rolled his yellow eyes. “Oh yeah, that right.” He looked over at Twilight. Then he put on his glasses and looked around in the darkness, immediately, four pairs of glowing red eyes looked at him. The devil sighed. “Welp, come on boys...we got a princess to give a tour to.”

Author's Note

Fun fact: This story is loosely based off of another story that I wrote for an english project called "The 7 Floors of Hell"
I thought it would be funny to write a fanfic based off of it. So...Here it is. Hope you like it.

...To Hell

“And then I tell him ‘If you didn’t want me pullin’ your chains, then maybe you shouldn’t of done the same.’”

A cackle of laughter woke Twilight from her slumber, she fluttered her eyes open and took in the scene around her, but it was the same darkness like before.

“Um SiR, i ThInK sHe’S aWaKe.” She had heard that same voice before, it sounded just as demonic to. She felt a slight shove of her shoulder.

“Hey, Wakey wakey princess.” The voice that Twilight could only guess could be the devil said, she grumbled, her sight was finally back and she could see, she was then immediately confused.

“W-where am I?” She asked.

“I thought you were smart Miss Sparkle. Haven’t I told you already?” She turned to her left to see the devil, holding a wine shaped glass with some sort of bubbling liquid.

“I mean...where are we.” Twilight was still a bit dazed, her train of thought was starting to go off track.

“Oh...Well, we’re on a chariot being driven by a centaur, and you’re currently riding in the back with me while the imps ride up front.” The Devil took off his glasses and gave a smile. “It is a pretty swank cart princess, its got the flames in the back and the entire thing’s black coated, you’re mentor would be jealous.”

Twilight finally came to her senses and stared at the devil in astonishment. “How do you know about-”

“Your princess,” He interrupted. “your ruler, your lord and savior, Tia Celestia? Trust me, we creatures in hell know all about what happens up there.” He pointed straight up and put his glasses back on. “You’d be surprised what we know.”

Twilight was astonished, unable to comprehend any of this. There was only one explanation. The only reason why this was happening to her “This isn’t real.” She said.

Satin choked on his drink. “Ahem, what?” He said with a raise of a brow.

“None...None of this is real, how can you know about all of this, and this place can’t be hell, it should be tarta-”

The devil crushed the wine glass in his hooves, spilling the liquid on the floor, where it soaked right through, leaving a small hole. “Don’t. You. Dare. Say. That. Word.” Fire was leaking out of the top of his glasses.

“What word?” Twilight asked. “Do you mean Tart-”

The devil immediately clamped a hoof on her mouth, anger plastered all over his face. “That world does not exist, that is just some stupid, idiotic land that some stupid, idiotic, idiot made up to fool you ponies.” He let go of Twilight and looked away.

“Whenever I hear them call this place….THAT WORD...It tears me apart.” He turned back to Twilight. “I made this place with my DAMN BARE HOOVES you know...And I named it what I wanted it to be, but apparently the mortals think that” He took a deep inhale. “TARTARUS is a real place, and they think THIS Is it!” He stood up from the chariot and lifted his hooves in the air. “Just look at it princess, its beautiful, it is nothing like that fake place.”

Twilight was reluctant to stand, or even move, what was with his voice changing like that? It sounded so evil and demonic. “I-I’d rather no-” A hoof grabbed her and hoisted her into the air. It was at that moment, she sucked in all what hell really looked like.

The devil took a deep breath. “Isn’t it beautiful.” He let go of her and brought both his hooves to his dead heart. “I made this. Me. I. Made. This.”

Twilight looked around at the devils hoovy work. It was worse than what the books said Tartar- or hell, looked like. Much worse. There were rivers that were made of fire, and the street that the chariot was riding on looked like it was made of bones, and in the distance she saw nothing but creatures that were so horrid that she couldn’t even describe the abominations, they were all walking about, just groaning and yelling at one another.

At that moment, the devil leaned in to her ear and said. “Wanna know what those things are?” Twilight jumped in surprise, then she nodded. “These are the souls of the damned, pretty funny when you look at them eh? Just look at how that one moves.” he nudged her shoulder, but Twilight didn’t even respond, she just stared at them.

“What are they?” She asked, her eyes still glued to the monstrosities.

“Don’t they look familiar? Their ponies, just like you.” He poked her chest. Twilight recoiled in pain, she could feel the burn in his touch, the devil chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry ‘bout that, forgot about my fiery touch.” The devil looked up and yelled. “Hey, driver! We there yet?”

“AcTualLy SiR.” An imp in the car said, Twilight gazed at the sight of the creature, his entire body was skinny and red, and his face was that of a ponies, but she could see the bones on it. “YoU’rE sTiLl oN sCHeDuLe.”

“WHAT!?” The devil yelled. “Don’t the idiots realizes I have a princess to deal with?”

The imp shrugged. “WoRk Is WoRk SiR.”

The devil sighed and rubbed his eyes. “What do I have to do today then?”

The imp snapped his fingers and a fire erupted from his hoof, it died down and a scroll replaced its place, then the imp handed it to the devil. Twilight’s eyes were wide the entire time. “How did he do that?”

The devil opened the scroll and glanced at Twilight. “Oh, all imps can do that, makes it easier to bring letters around, your lizard friend would know.” The devil took off his sunglasses and replaced them with reading glasses. “Now lets see here…”

Twilight was starting to lose it, how this guy knew all about her and her princess and now her assistant, she stood up from the cart and looked at the devil in anger. “How do you know about-”

The chariot came to a full stop and Twilight was flung out onto the bone street, the devil didn’t seem to notice and started getting out while he read. “Mmhh. torture the damned on floor two, give a long and cruel speech to the newcomers, take care of pets,” He rolled his yellow eyes “at least that one’s fun, lets see, blaah blaah blaah. Alright, so princess are you ready to-”

“Oww…” The devil looked down to see that he had stepped on Twilight, who was laying on the ground when she flew out of the cart.

“What are you doin’ down there?” He grabbed the scruff of her neck and pulled her up, this time he made sure to tone down the heat of his hooves. “I didn’t hurt ya too bad, did I?”

Twilight shook her head, she was filled with mixed emotions, fear, anger, confusion, and many others she couldn’t think of at the moment. She slowly turned to the devil, her eyes were flaming just like his and the devil could swear that her hair and mane were on fire. She opened her mouth and said….and said…She then fell to the floor in defeat. “I give up.” She groaned.

The devil rolled up the scroll and stuffed it in his suit pocket. “Give up on what?”

Twilight looked up at him. “On all of this, on wondering why i’m here, why this place exists, why you exist, what happened to me. All of this is...is...is…”

“Is what?” The devil felt a little concerned for her, not many souls give up at this point.

“Its just too much!” She stood up and yelled, making the devil recoil in surprise. “All of this is too much, can’t you just tell me!?”

Now the devil was getting really concerned. “T-tell you what?”

Twilight grabbed the neck of the devils suit and said. “Is it true?”

“Is what true? and will you watch the suit, its really expensive.”

Twilight’s face was inches away from him. “Am. I. Dead? Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke or spell or dream that I’m having, just tell me the truth!”

The devil pushed her off of him. “Will you calm down! I don’t even think you can handle the truth!” He dusted himself off and looked up at the princess, the way her face was looking at him, he started feeling pity for her, and he rarely has pity to give. He sighed, knowing he would have to tell her. “Well princess, I really don’t know how else to say it.” Twilight’s eyes were starting to water, the devil hated when mortals eyes did that, it was so gross. He sighed. “Yeah….you’re uh….yeah….you’re dead. I don’t think-”

Instantly, Twilight threw herself on him, the devil could feel the tears on the side of his suit. “Great.” He mumble to himself over Twilight’s crying. “Now I’m gonna need to get this thing pressed.”

“H-How could this happen?!” Twilight sobbed. “Why! What did I do to deserve this? I've always been a great friend, and I love my friends,” She sniffed up the snot that was starting to form on her nose. The devil was on the verge of puking. “and I know that they love me back, why did I have to die like this?” She then dove her head into his suit again, completely soaking it in tears.

The devil hated this part, when he told ponies this. It was always with the ‘why’ and the ‘how’ and so on and so forth, he got use to it over the years since he knew the wretched souls deserved it, but now this pony was an innocent, and as much as he hated to admit it, he felt sorry for this mare.

“Look..uh...Twilight.” He said, though he knew the sobs were drowning out his voice. “The...uh...the good…usually die young?” He patted her back, but after he said that there was a rise in the cries, and he was starting to feel the pressure around his neck from Twilight’s arms. “Smooth D, real smooth.”

He grabbed hold of her hooves and pulled them off of him. Twilight looked up at him, her eyes were like the left side of his suit, drenched in tears, the devil could do nothing but stare at her. This was a pony that he had never dealt with, one that had never done anything wrong, and even did more right than wrong than anyone he had read about in the life reports, but now she was to be sent to a place where she couldn’t see her friends, well, at least until they die, but something like that could take a long time, it was almost making him cry, he didn’t want the mare to see this. He let go of her, looked away, and took off his reading glasses and replaced them with his sunglasses.

“Princess, you need to realize this. Death is a natural thing, it happens to everyone, some are more unlucky than others, and I’m tellin’ you this right now. If Faust wanted you to die, then it was destiny.”

Twilight started wiping the tears and snot off of her face. “Faust...W-who's Faust?”

The devil’s glasses slid down to the point of his nose, showing half of his eyes. “You don’t know who Faust is?” He asked, with a shake of a head in reply from her. He knew that she had never heard of her, Faust was a name that had never been written or even heard of, the devil knew she had erased all evidence of her even existing, you don’t want a creator getting found out now. “Surely you read about her in all those books of yours.” He said with a smile.

Twilight scratched her head. “I think I read it in a book once called the ‘Sacred Scripture.’” The devils eyes went wide, his jaw hung open, and his sunglasses fell off of his face. “Actually, now that I remember, I think you were in it to.”

“T-the S-S-Sacred Scripture….Y-You mean..” The devil started shaking, how did a pony get their hooves on a book like that, and how could she instantly remember a book like that too, that's a poorly written script right there!

“I remember looking at it as a filly when I was wondering around in the library,” She laughed. “Although, I don’t think I was supposed to be in there at my age, I was-”

The devil grabbed Twilight. “You should have NEVER looked at it! That book is nothing but a lie, do you understand?!”

Twilight looked around in a panic. “B-but you said Faust-”

He let go of her and looked away. “I know what I said, but that book is full of lies Twilight!” He picked up his glasses and put them back on, then he faced her. “That book over exaggerated a lot of stuff. For starters, it took her months to create your world, not a week, and Adams Apple and Eval Bevel were not the first ponies she made.”

“What are you talking about?” Twilight was getting a little bit scared, all she could remember reading was the first few pages, then she got bored and looked for another book to read. “I didn’t even read that much.”

“And her friend Megan...wait...how much did you read?” He looked at her very seriously.

“I-I only remember reading a page on what she did, like, how she made all of us, even you. That was until you went crazy or something...I can’t remember. I didn’t really like the book that much anyway.” She started looking away, trying to think of just what it was that book talked about.

“I did NOT go crazy!” The devil yelled. “I was just angry was all. The way she was ruling things, not giving a firm hoof to those who deserved it.” The devil started pacing. “She looked at things in a good way all the time. Once in a while you’re supposed to look at things in a BAD way ya know, that's how you make the bad guys pay, that's how you’re supposed to run the world, you understand?”

Twilight was petrified, “What are you talking about?”

The devil then realized what he was saying, he took a deep breath and regained his composure. “Sorry...I was….I was just getting a little worked up at how the Bible said-”

“What's the Bible?” Twilight said with a tilt of her head.

The devil just gave a blank stare. “How about I just take you to my first task of the day.” He started walking along the bone street. Twilight walked next to him.

“What would that be?” She asked.

The devil smiled. “Torturing the souls of the damned of course.”

...To Floor Two

“STAAAHHHHHOOOOPP PLEEEEAAAHHHAHAHAHSSS STOP!”

“Sorry John, I can't hear ya over all this screamin’ and pleadin.’”

The Devil gave another strong yank in the chains, causing another roar of screams from the stallion, the Devil laughed maniacally while Twilight stood staring at the scene in horror, the stallion was held in the air, and his limbs and neck were chained and connected to a series of other chains, and all of them led to the Devils hooves.

“Come on John.” The Devil gave another pull. “This is something you should be use to, ain’t it?”

Twilight slowly walked up to the Devil, her eyes unable to look away from the chained stallion. “W-why are-”

“I know what you’re gonna say princess, but remember what I said,” He gave another pull, making more screams of pain. “he deserves this.” He ended in a low tone of voice.

The stallion looked up at Twilight, his eyes were filled with tears and his limbs and neck were on the verge of tearing off from the chains pulling. “P-p-pp-le-ase, h-hel-”

The Devil gave a quick tug. “QUIET!” The devil yelled. “Filthy mortal.” He mumbled under his breath.

“Can’t you see he’s in pain?” Twilight yelled. She couldn’t understand any of this, why was the Devil doing this?

The Devil turned to her and gave her the ‘are you serious’ face. “Twilight, let me explain this to you.” The Devil turned toward one of the imps standing guard. “Hey! You!” He held up the chain. “Go crazy.” The imp immediately lunged at the chain and started pulling. The Devil rolled his eyes and turned back to Twilight. “You see that guy right there.” He pointed at the pony crying in agony over the imp stretching his limbs and neck with the chains. It made Twilight cringe, and the devil smile. “That guy is here for a reason, and his punishment is very reasonable to.”

Twilight looked back and forth at the poor tortured pony and the Devil. “But what did he do that was so wrong?”

The Devil clopped his hooves together and another imp flew towards them with a file. “Thank you minion.” The Devil said with a smile.

“No PrObLeM bOsS.” And with that he took off.

The devil took out his reading glasses and opened the file. “Lets see here….tsh tsh tsh, ba da ba ba ba...Ah! Here it is. Let me just read you how he died. ‘At the time of twenty-three hundred hours on [date and year withheld], John Stone came home drunk to find his wife, [name withheld], waiting for him at the couch.’”

The pony thrashed at his chains, causing Twilight and the Devil to look at him in surprise. “Stop! Just stop! Its bad enough to hear it again while I’m-”

“Pull harder and faster imp.” The Devil said unemotionally, the imp nodded and followed his orders. The Devil turned back to Twilight while another cry of anguish was heard behind him. “Now lets see, where was I...Ah. ‘After an angry dispute, John took hold of a knife in kitchen, where he then stabbed [name withheld] several times in the chest. After coming to his senses and realizing his mistake, he slit his throat, hoping to escape from the terrible fate that was soon to come.’” The Devil chuckled. “Looks like that didn’t work, now did it John?” Another cry of pain answered his question.

Twilight's ears were on the verge of going deaf at this point, the cries from this pony were becoming too much for her to handle. “B-but can't you see he’s suffering, how long has he been down here?”

The Devil shrugged. “‘bout a couple years, maybe four.”

Twilight was flabbergasted. “And he goes through this every day?”

The Devil replaced his reading glasses with his sunglasses again. “Not every day, sometimes its not just chain pullin,’ sometimes he gets burned, or his throat get slit several times, or his entire body gets pecked by deviled birds, it all depends on the day and time.”

Twilight continued looking at him in shock. “Do all ponies get treated like this!?”

“Yes, but not by me, the others get taken care of by imps, I just deal with the special ones, and they're not ponies anymore. They're lost souls who have decided to do more harm than good with their lives,” He turned to John, who was now panting from the amount of pain. “just like this one, he decided that the only way to get out of a situation like that would be to off himself, did you even think of your boy John?”

“He had a son?” Twilight asked, she was becoming curious as to why this pony was down here.

The Devil turned around. “Yeah, the poor thing was only a few years old,” He turned to John again, with hate filled in his eyes. “Just be thankful that they found a better family to take care of him.”

Twilight walked up to the tortured spirit, she couldn’t figure out what to say to him, she felt pity, but after what the Devil said, it was as if he actually...Deserved this.

“No!” Twilight yelled. “I-It...he was drunk, it wasn’t his-”

“It WAS his fault, I only read the end of this file princess,” The Devil held it up in the air. “If I read more, then you would be joining me in this chain pullin’ session.” Twilight stood back a bit, realizing the Devil had no sympathy for these souls “This thing never lies,” The Devil continued. “only the ponies that come here lie, and if it said he did a deed that was deemed hell-worthy,” The file went into flames, as did the Devils eyes. “Then it is hell-worthy.”

John lifted his head. “I-I-I was just-”

The Devil smacked him across the face, Twilight gasped and John only groaned. “You were just tryin’ to kill your wife John.” The devil yelled.

“I-I was only-”

“Unchain him!” The Devil yelled. Immediately the chains fell off and John fell to the floor. Twilight looked at him in utter horror, his entire body was to the bone, his ribs were poking out, as was the rest of his bones, and his limbs had marks that Twilight could only guess were from the stretching.

The Devil grabbed him by the throat and took off his glasses, looking him straight in the eye “Listen here John,” The Devil said in a tone of voice that were filing both Twilight’s and John’s minds with fear. “I don’t care what you say or what you think, I don’t care how many times I have to tell you this, but maybe you will listen this time.”

The Devil held him into the air. Twilight could see the pony was trying to struggle, but his limbs were making it impossible. “You are dead, you are in hell, you did something that made you come here, and it is ALL. YOUR. FAULT!” With that the Devil engulfed him in flames. John screamed in agony as his body was melted down to the floor. Twilight shielded it with her wing, not wanting to see any of what was happening, she just wanted all of it to end, to not see any of what this place does to those who have died, she just wanted to go home.

“HAHAHA. Oh Faust! Did you minions see how long he yelled for?” Twilight lowered her wing to see the devil cackling in delight. “I swear, those mortals must have lungs of steel when they die or somethin’,” The Devil turned to Twilight. “and did you see the look on his face when I told him 'it was all your fault'," He said in a sarcastic manner. "I thought the guy was gonna lose it, and when the fire was startin' to surround him-”

Twilight couldn't handle it anymore, she extended her wings and yelled. “Why are you acting like this?!”

The Devil stepped back a bit. “Whoa, calm down princess, I was just-”

“You were just torturing a stallion, and now you just killed him." She started to become infuriated with how this monster was acting. "Do you think that's funny?!”

The devil laughed again and put his glasses back on. “Princess, how can I kill him when he's already dead, if you must know, I just sent him to the other souls to wonder around, and yeah, its pretty funny seeing mortals filled with pain and scream for their lives,” He shook his head and chuckled. “I’m surprised I was able to keep an angry face the entire time without laughing.”

Twilight closed her wings and looked at the Devil with eyes filled with hate. “You are a sick pony, you know that.”

“Actually, I'm the Devil, not a pony, but thank you for the compliment.” The Devil said with a smile.

Twilight opened her mouth to make another comment, but an imp interrupted her. “SiR, tHeRe ArE sTiLl MoRe-”

The Devil sighed and got out his to do list and waved a hoof in front of his minion. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Can ya get a carriage ready for me and the princess to go take care of my pets?”

“Pets?” Twilight anger was replaced with confusion. “You have pets?”

The Devil lowered the list and smiled. “Of course, I got my lap dog cerberus, a boy who’s as loyal as can be, and a seven headed hydra, that cutie lives in my swimming pool.” The Devil started walking to the bone paved street, Twilight followed.

“Why your swimming pool?” Twilight asked.

“Well, where else am I supposed to put her, beside, I use my jacuzzi filled with dragons blood more than that watered down pool.” The Devil sat down at the sidewalk, waiting for the chariot to arrive.

Twilight looked at him in disgust. “Dragons blood!?”

“Well, the gorgons thought it was cool to fill it up with that kind of blood, I'd use goat blood but I realized that doesn't get into your pores that easily. Now will you stop asking and just wait until we get there.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. "I just want to go home." She said to herself.

you will

Twilight's ears flickered a bit, she looked at the Devil. "What?"

The Devil looked back. "What?"

"What did you say?"

"Me, I didn't say anything," He looked away. "it was probably just some screamin' soul in the distance, just ignore it and you'll be fine."

...To The Chariot Ride To My Home

“So let me get this straight...You know everything about-”

“Every. Dang. Thing.”

Twilight reeled back in astonishment. “How can you-”

“Because life reports must be kept up to date in order for the afterlife to know where the souls will be going when they turn over.” The Devil continued to smile.

“Afterlife?” Twilight asked.

“I think Purgatory was another name for it, either way, every place must know the state the soul is in in order for us to know where they’ll be ending up. It all depends on their grade.”

“Grade?” Twilight was trying her best to understand all of this, but it was becoming too ridiculous to make sense.

“They must have a karma grade above a sixty-nine percent in order for them to not be here,” He pointed down. “but instead be up there.” He then pointed up and leaned back in his seat, keeping a tight grip on his wine glass.

"How does that work?" Twilight asked.

The Devil smiled. "Well, all mortals start off with a hundred percent karma grade, but with every action that is deemed hell worthy, they lose a percentage judging on how bad it was. They can get it back if they do something good though, for example, when you first got to that little town of yours, you were acting like you didn't want any friends, that dropped ya down a bit."

Twilight gasped. "I-It did?"

The Devil rolled his eyes. "Oh please, it wasn't that much, it was like a point zero zero three percent drop, but when you killed moon-"

"You mean defeated."

"No, killed, we're in Hell princess, defeat equals killed, its not a fiddle contest, anyway, when you killed her and made all those friends of yours, you got your grade raised to about a seven percent, making your overall at." He thought about it for a bit. "one hundred and thirty two."

"I'm over a hundred?"

"You were one nice kid princess." He nodded and took a sip from his glass.

Twilight shifted in her seat, if the Devil knew all about the ponies lives then what about…“What about moon?” Twilight asked abruptly.

“What about the moon, your mentor’s sister is in charge of that isn’t she?”

“No, I mean, Nightmare moon.” Twilight started having second thoughts about asking this, perhaps it was best to not-

“Oh! Her. Yeah, that mare is currently on floor twelve having so many unspeakable things done to her that the author won't even let me describe it. Serves her right for tryin' to escape.” He took a sip from his wine glass.

Twilight shook her head in disbelief. “W-what?! You mean she-”

“Is a completely different being from your mentors sister?...Yes, she is.” The Devil finished her sentence and continued. “Look princess, I just read what the file says, and if the file says that a soul by the name of Nightmare Moon was created a little bit before it was banished, and then a thousand years later after it was free it got killed, and it had a score in the negatives, then that soul gets a special place on floor twelve. ” He sipped from his wine glass again.

This new information was becoming too much for Twilight to handle. “She got a negative score?”

“Yup, pretty impressive too, she was only active for like, half a day, and she got a score of negative thirty, not to shabby for a villain, but I think that king you ran into might of beaten her for the lowest score.

Twilight’s ears lit up. “Sombra? He’s here too?”

The Devil shook his head. “Nope, his soul is somewhere out in the winter tundra, lucky little-”

“But we blew him up,” Twilight interrupted. “His entire body was blown to smithereens.”

“Yeah, but his horn was still intact, meaning that his soul hadn't crosses and that he is currently regenerating in a cave out there in the cold.”

Twilight looked at him, completely flabbergasted as to what he was saying. “How do you know all of this?”

The Devil took off his glasses and looked at her. “Twilight, we read every word of every sentence of every paragraph of every page of every file. If a file says that a soul with a fifty-six percent karma rate has been reincarnated into a cheese sandwich, which was then eaten, then that sandwich must be taken to hell. Understand?”

“No.” Twilight said blankly.

“Well, I couldn’t expect you to, though I think a certain mutant goat of yours said ‘what's the fun in making sense’ so you might as well think about it like that?”

“You mean Discord?”

“No,” He said sarcastically. “I mean the other mutant goat friend you have. YES HIM!”

Twilight reeled back a bit after he said that, realizing that, the Devil sipped from his wine glass again. “Sorry, it's just that...It's just that I can’t wait to see that guy come here. Oh Faust will it be fun, and I’m pretty sure a thousand or so years will go by pretty fast for that guy.” The Devil was smiling more than usual.

“You mean he’s coming here?” Twilight was a bit shocked by what he said.

“Well duh! Of course he his.”

“But he’s reformed.”

The Devil put his glasses back on. “And?”

“He said he wouldn’t do anything bad anymore.”

“And?”

“He and Fluttershy are great friends.”

“And?” The Devil started to drink from his glass again.

Twilight stood up from the chariot and stared down on the Devil. “He’s a good guy.”

The Devil took a spit take and looked at Twilight in bewilderment. “Good? Princess please, I think it takes a lot more than some little reform to make some guy good again.”

“But he’s changed.”

“Oh really, how? How has he changed? Has he stopped using his powers for bad?”

Twilight thought about it for a second. “Well…”

“Has he helped ponies in any way.”

“Yes he ha-”

“When you weren’t around!”

Twilight sat down on the carriage again. “I-I don’t think-”

“Has he ever shown any unkindness to you or others since he was reformed.”

“It’s just the way he acts.” Twilight said. “He can’t help it.”

The devil rolled his glowing yellow eyes. “Oh yes he can, all it takes is a little torture.” Twilight was about to object, but the Devil drank from his glass and continued. “I’ll tell you the truth, the only way he’s gettin’ to heaven is by finding cures for very rare diseases, using his powers for good, and I mean good good, and to spread that friendship stuff that you mortals have. I could go on, but I don’t think it would help him if you’re not gonna tell him anyway.”

“What do you mean, and torture is not a-”

“What do you mean what do I mean. Twilight, you’re dead, remember?”

Twilight could only look down and say. “Oh...yeah...right.”

“So you ain’t goin’ back and tellin’ others what you saw down here, okay? Doing that could ruin us entirely, got it Twilight....Twilight?” The Devil took off his sunglasses again to see that Twilight was on the verge of tears again, he on the verge of throwing up on the side of the road. “Oh for Faust sake, look, how about I tell you about your other enemies.”

Twilight sniffed. “What do you mean?"

“Well, I can tell you about how Chrissy is currently suffering from a great depression right now”

Twilight leapt from her seat. “What?!”

“Woah, calm down, I thought that would make you happy.”

“What do you mean by ‘great depression.’ Is she dead?”

The Devil shook his head. “Nah she ain't dead, but we've seen death rates for her children go up ever since that Canterlot disaster thing, some of them even died during it.”

“Her...Her children are dying?” Twilight said sympathetically.

“Yeah, they've been starving to death since they couldn't get any love, shame really, that plan was practically their last effort at ever getting food, since everywhere else they've been has kicked them out.” The Devil started to snicker. “And...and get this, some of the ones who were bad enough to come here, said that the last thing they saw, were the crying eyes of their mother as she cradled them to ‘sleep,’ ain’t that just so cheesy.”

He laughed while Twilight was still trying to process that information. Queen Chrysalis’ kind starting to become extinct, and it was practically her fault. The Devil stopped laughing and looked at his wine glass to find out that it was out of red, bubbling liquid. “I’ll tell ya princess, bein’ a mother sucks, especially if you have a lot of kids.” He stood up from the cart and yelled. “Ain’t that right Faust!?”

Twilight flinched at his sudden outburst. “Who are you talking to?”

The Devil threw his glass on the side of the road and slumped down on his seat. “No one.” He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Is there anything else you want to know about how we do things here princess, we still got a lot of time till we get there.”

Twilight just looked away and stared out into the abyss that was Hell.

“Suit yourself.” The Devil shrugged and clapped his hooves. “EY! Imp! Get me another glass will ya?”

Twilight ignored that and rested her chin on the side of the chariot, it was becoming too hard for her to get any of this, it was all starting to get too ridiculous, she just wanted to get out of here and forget this place even existed, but more importantly, she just wanted to-

You will

Twilights ears came into attention again. “W-who said that?”

“Its just another lost soul Twilight.” Twilight turned around and went wide eyes as she saw the devil pouring blood from a decapitated goats head into his wine glass, which he then tossed on the side of the road. “Best you just ignore it.” The devil then lit it on fire, making it start to bubble, then he took a big swig from his glass. “Bleh...I’ll tell ya, this stuff might not have the best taste, but it works wonders on your body, want a taste?”

With that Twilight fainted on the floor of the chariot. Leaving the devil to look at her and shrug, “More for me then, I guess." He pulled out his flat phone again and held it to his ear. "Hey...ya, its me, can you get my zombies skeletons to help carry this girl in case she doesn't wake up, and be sure to get all dozen of them, I don't want to walk either.”

...To my castle

Twilight’s eyes finally opened for a second time, and the first thing they laid on were a pair of skeletons. She then proceeded to fly in the air and scream.

“HEY! Careful with those zombies! There a diamond a dozen you know.” Twilight turned around to see the Devil being carried by similar monsters.

“W-where am I?” Twilight asked a she stood up.

“Is always with the ‘where’ with you. You know, for a princess, you ask a lot of questions.” The Devil motioned the skeletons to leave, which was just them burrowing back underground. “If you must know, were at my home.” He pointed to his left.

“Your ho...home?…” Twilight looked up to see a gigantic castle, filled to the brim with bones, lava, fire, more bones, chains, and...bones.

“It’s not much,” The Devil said. “but at least it’s got insurance.”

“Why are we here?” Twilight asked. No longer caring what she see’s in this place

“Duh, so we can feed my pets. Just like your owl and lizard, princess, I have pets too.”

“They’re my assistants.”

“Same thing. Now, how about we feed-”

*BBBBZZZZZ*

The Devil looked down at his chest, as did Twilight. She tilted her head and asked, “What's that noise?”

The Devil groaned. “Probably something unimportant. Can you let me take this?” He reached into his suit and pulled out his flat phone.

“What is that?”

“It’s a phone. Surprised your kind hasn’t made them yet.” He pushed on it with his hoof and held it to his ear. “Talk to me...HEY...heheHEY Big T, how’s my lovable demon?...No I got time.” The Devil turned away from Twilight and smiled.

“Who are you talking to?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah...Uh hu...well what are you doin’ these days?...Really? Is it boring?...Yeah, thought so...Me?...Oh nothing, just takin’ a princess on a stroll around….what? I’m...I’m sorry, what?” After a few seconds, the Devil went into a state of laughter and faced Twilight. “No way! I thought the file said it was the pink one ...Hey! Princess! Is it true?”

Twilight walked up to him. “Is what true.”

“That you actually...what?” The Devil leaned his ear back into his phone. “Yeah she’s right here, you wanna talk to the mare that wiped your flank?” He snickered as the sounds of yelling we're coming from the phone. “Hey now, calm down big T, it’s not like you’re allowed anymore anyway...How do I know? Are you serious right now...yes, I read it...I did indeed laugh my flank off...because when you get imprisoned by a mare, it’s pretty hilarious.”

“Imprisoned…” Twilight said to herself. “Wait, Devil, are you talking to-”

“Well, maybe if you used actual cages instead of bubbles, you would of looked way more serious...I do give you props for treating Discord like a your bi- Yeah, I read that over so many times.”

Twilight gasped. “You’re talking to him aren’t you?”

“Hold up a second T, Yes princess?”

“Is it Tirek?”

The Devil stared at her for a bit, then he smiled. “Oh big T, I think someone wants to talk to ya...Oh come on it was like….years ago, I’m sure you can…really?...Really?...That long hu.. are you sure you don’t wanna...Alright, fine, be that way...Yeah...Alright...love you too.” He pushed the phone again and put it in his coat.

Twilight glaring at him. “He’s your friend!?”

The Devil raised an eyebrow. “Of course he is, we’ve been friends ever since we were cast down here.”

“But he’s evil!” Twilight was on the verge of losing it again.

“So, I still love the guy. When we first met, I knew we had something special between us, but sadly, he was going down a road of evil.”

“But aren't you evil?”

“What gave you that impression, just because I torture the lost and damned for a living doesn’t make me a bad guy, I just deliver justice in the cruelest of ways. Nothing wrong with that.”

Twilight glared at him while the Devil continued talking. “But anyway, he came to me and said he wanted to not die and rule your world, so he asked me to bring him back to life, and as much as it was against rules of hell, I couldn’t say no to those sexy eyes, so I did what he said and in about a few years, he wound up where he is now. Kinda knew it was gonna happen anyway.”

“In Tartarus.” Twilight said blankly.

“No...In Hell...Where he is currently serving a sentence of negative fifty. Pretty bad, I actually feel sorry for him.”

“Fifty, and you still like him?”

The Devil facehoofed. “How many times must I tell you, we’ve been together forever, evil or not. I still love the guy, which is why I don’t do the torturing. I never hurt my lover.”

Twilight started to calm down once he made that statement. “You guys...love each other?”

“Yeah, ‘course we do, what of it?”

Twilight shook her head. “Nothing, I just….Really? No offence, but I didn’t really take either of you as...well.”

“As what?” The devil narrowed his bright yellow eyes. “Don’t make me take down a few numbers if you don’t like gays.”

“Nonono!...It’s just that.” Twilight had to change the subject. “I still don’t see how you could love him and hate Discord, even if he’s-”

“The most cruel hearted monster on the face of Equestria?” The Devil said matter-of-factly. “Look princess, I don’t know how else to explain it you ya, you see, Tirek had standards, he wanted to rule for a reason, but that goat...psh...he had no reason, he’s an out right, and pardon my french, di-.”

*BBBBBZZZZZZ*

The devil groaned. “Hold on.” He pulled out his phone and listened. “What is it!....What?...Really...wheh, well that’s great, so where is it?...Okay, well I’ll do it once I feed the- Oh, you took care of it?...remind me to give ya time off…Hey, Chillax man...Okay, See ya in a bit.” He hung up and rubbed his hooves. “Welp, looks like patience waits for nopony princess.”

“How so?” Twilight crossed her hooves, she felt like she was being ignored this entire time. Like some third wing.

“Well, the imps finally found your file, and my pets are being taken care of, so that means heaven is just moments away.” He started walking to his castle.

“Heaven!? Now?” Twilight was getting nervous now. She wasn’t ready for this.

“Yup. Now can we get a move on,” He wrapped his bat wing around her and started walking. “The elevator is in my home, we’ll take it to the mailroom at the bottom, then to the top. Got it?”

“N-no.” Twilight didn’t want to go now, she wanted to go home, not heaven.

The devil ignored her and continued walking. “Oh, don’t worry Twi, I heard you get to have VIP access in heaven since your karma's in the hundreds, you luck little mare you.” He rubbed her hair and opened the front bone covered doors to his castle.

“Now, FEAST YOUR EYES! AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR...THE MAIN HALL!”

Author's Note

Why so long.
Well, I learned that I had some strange disorder for this.
Can't remember the name, but it was something about workin' on something else,
and forgetting about other stories while doing so.

but the good thing is that it's back!

right....

guys?