Fool's Diamond

by LK

Rating: teen
Tags: Rarity, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Spike, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 13140

Spike x Cutie Mark Crusaders and Rarity, humanized.

[HUMANIZED] As Spike grows older, he becomes increasingly confused and frustrated, unable to forget his past life. Perhaps his friends can help him find himself as friendship grows into something more...

First attempt at writing fiction. All constructive criticism is very welcomed, including insulting criticism.

Published 2012-04-06 13:44:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-16 19:12:28 UTC

Chapter 1

P.S. This is a humanized fanfic, if you don't like humanized, than this story probably isn't for you.

Fool's Diamond

Chapter 1

"Finally, jeez that took a while." Spike thinks as he looks at the clock in the Carousel Boutique. It is 1:00 PM, and it had taken at least five hours to find enough gems for Rarity's newest design. He wipes his hand over his face, cleaning off most of the dirt. However, he still has a considerable amount on his purple jacket and green pants. Besides his obvious dragon features, like his odd "ears", eyes, and hands, where every finger ended in a claw instead, his purple and green getup was the thing most people recognize him for. Although his claws are a dead giveaway that it's him, and the fact that all of the people around town call him "dragon-boy". Fortunately for him though, his claws are only a bit sharp, otherwise he would be tearing everything he held.

Looking around he notices something is off about the Boutique, but he can't put his fing-err claw on it. Are the fabrics out of place? No, he had organized them countless times, and everything is in the correct order. The mannequins? Again no, same as they always were. The mood about the place just seems... different. It is a strange feeling, but not really an unpleasant one. It seems neutral, really.

"Spike, are you alright deary?" Rarity's voice from the other room makes him jump, and snaps him back into reality.

"Yeah Rarity, just looking around. I should probably get back to Twilight and do my chores for the day." He isn't sure if he has much work to do at the library, but knowing Twilight she probably has a whole list of things to be done. Rarity walks casually into the room, holding a few gemstones in her hands.

"Alright then, well here's your payment for helping me dig out those wonderful gems." She hands the boy the gemstones. Spike's face immediately shines with glee as he gobbles up the gems sloppily, leaving him with a satisfied look.

As Rarity watches Spike eat his "payment", not caring much for how sloppily he does so, she notices just how much he has grown from when he first came to Ponyville. She never thought much of it before, but as she looks at him now she realizes how handsome his young face is, and those eyes are just the most perfect shade of chartreuse. She tries to think little of it and walks over to her fabrics, attempting to think only of the dress she is about to make.

Spike looks at her and wonders if maybe she has changed just like the boutique, if she has lost some kind of allurement over him she naturally possesses. He observes Rarity and gazes into her eyes, she returns a warm complexion and a smile. Nope, still just as beautiful.

"Hey Rarity, are you back from getting gems?" A slightly squeaky voice calls, Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle walks into the room from the kitchen. She sees Spike finishing up his gems and blushes, not expecting him to be there. She begins looking more at the floor than anything else.

"Oh yes Sweetie, did you need something?" Rarity replies, not noticing the cloud of smoke coming from the stove and pouring into the rest of the boutique. Sweetie looks up at her and finds it hard to perform the simple act of speaking. After a moment she gathers her courage and answers.

"Well, I kinda sorta maybe tried to make a fancy lunch. And it kinda sorta maybe blew up a little." Sweetie steels herself for the lecture she is going to receive. Instead, Rarity's eyes widen, and she immediately rushes into her kitchen to fix the dilemma. Sweetie let out a sigh of relief, happy that she has delayed her torture for a bit longer. While Rarity is gone, Spike takes this time to examine Sweetie a bit, he is a teenage boy, after all. She looks a lot like her sister, and while not as stunning, she is still quite pretty. He has his eyes fixated on her, but notices something different than when he looked at Rarity. He can't figure it out exactly, but it seems like the exact opposite of what he feels about the boutique.

"Hey Spike, something wrong?" Sweetie tilts her head a bit in confusion. Noticing he is ogling, Spike blushes until his face is beet red. As he tries to recuperate from his blunder, it is his turn to find it hard to speak.

"I, err, uh..." Spike looks around nervously. He speaks again when he is calm enough to form a sentence.

"Yeah, I'm fine, and you?" He asks nervously and with an extremely weak smile, hoping she didn't notice he was looking at her that way.

"I'm okay, you know besides almost setting the house on fire." Sweetie raises an eyebrow slightly, wondering what is up with Spike. He laughs nervously, still wearing a weak smile on his face. She smiles, glad he liked her joke, but is still a bit curious as to what made him so nervous.

"Well, I better get going, try telling Rarity she's pretty, that usually lightens her mood." He jokes. Sweetie laughs a bit, with the air of nervousness almost completely gone. Spike walks slowly out the door while waving.

"I'll try, that is if she doesn't kill me first!" She calls back, they both laugh and Spike shuts the door to the boutique, turning to greet the now bustling Ponyville with a smile and a full stomach.

As Spike takes the fairly short walk from the Carousel Boutique to the library, he smiles and waves at the many people he passes, and they return with waves and smiles of their own.

"I still can't believe how nice people are, this is so much better than Canterlot." Spike thinks, still waving at the citizens of Ponyville. He slowly notices his hand, which is noticeably different from an average person's. Bringing his hand down, he remembers how people shunned him as a child for being different. It's something he thinks about a lot, and he can't ever entirely shake it from his mind.

"As if it was my fault I was born this way." His smile quickly turns to a frown as he inspects his claws, a constant reminder of who... and what he really is. As Spike becomes lost in his thoughts he hasn't noticed that he is already at the door to the library.

"Maybe if-"

BAM. A loud thud sounds throughout the library as Spike's face makes full contact with the wooden door. He reels back immediately, covering his slightly bleeding nose.

"Ow." Spike says very nasally as he holds his nose. Trying to regain some sense of place, he realizes he is right in front of the library. Gathering his thoughts, Spike opens the door and walks into a surprisingly clean library.

"Spike, is that you?" Twilight yells calmly from the upper floor as she look down to see the boy covering his nose.

"What happened? I heard a noise at the door." She sees him holding his nose, and becomes slightly worried.

"Well you know, I kinda wanted to walk through solid objects, but the door had some problems with that." Spike grins, his humor slightly wavering through his pain.

"Are you alright? Do you need tissues or anything?" Twilight asks frantically, worried he might have hurt himself.

"Nah, I'm fine Twilight, honest." He gives her a reassuring smile as he takes his hand away from his nose.

"Chirp chirp chirp!" Peewee caws while landing on Spike's shoulder.

"Hey there Peewee, miss me?" Spike smiles as he looks to his shoulder and pets his baby phoenix. Eliciting a faint purr from the tiny creature. He looks around and notices how tidy the library is.

"By the way, why is this place so clean? Did you do this all yourself?" Spike looks around the library, not a spot of dust to be found.

"Oh no, Apple Bloom came over a while ago looking for you, I told her you went out gem finding with Rarity and she offered to stay and clean while she waited for you to get back." Twilight's face turns into one of a deer looking directly into the headlights of a car. "That reminds me! Apple Bloom, Spike is here!" Twilight calls behind her, moments later Apple Bloom climbs down the stairs to greet him.

"Hey Spike! Ah was wondering if maybe we could, uh, go out fer ice cream er somethin'." She blushes a little, trying her hardest not to look at Spike and kicking her foot back and forth nervously.

"What, like a date or something?" Spike raises his eyebrow.

"Well, Ah just, um, just, um, just, um..." Apple Bloom turns completely red in the face and stutters like crazy.

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down Apple Bloom, you sound like a broken record." He begins, confused. "Anyway, I don't know if I can, I mean just had some gems, and I'm pretty full." He scratches the back of his head, trying to avoid looking directly at Apple Bloom's face. Twilight notices Apple Bloom seems a bit sad and insanely embarrassed that Spike rejected her.

"Oh come on Spike, just go with her already." Twilight shoots him a glare, making him uneasy.

"Well I guess if everything's alright here. C'mon Apple Bloom, let's go." Spike quickly offers his hand to her, more out of fear of Twilight than anything else.

"Oh um, alright." Apple Bloom replies meekly and manages a weak smile as she takes his hand. Spike leads her out the door as fast as he can while Peewee flies off his shoulder. Worrying he has incurred the wrath of the librarian, he rushes out of the library with Apple Bloom, making sure not to hit his face on the door this time.

After fleeing from the library, Spike and Apple Bloom walk for a while before Spike notices that they haven't let go of each other's hands yet.

"Oh!" Spike realizes as he reels back, taking his hand from Apple Bloom as fast as he can. "Uh, sorry about that." He blushes deeply, his hands diving into his pockets.

"The pleasure is all mine." Apple Bloom says quietly as she is lost in her own world.

"What was that?" Spike asks, thoroughly confused now. Apple Bloom is taken away from her dream world.

"Oh, um! The uh... Pressure is, uh, too high! Yup! The pressure in ar stove is too high! Applejack's trying ta fix it now." Apple Bloom tries to cover up her mistake.

"Um, okay..." Spike is even more confused than he was a moment ago, but continues walking to a nearby ice cream stand.

"Ugh! That was so embarrassing! Why do Ah have ta say stupid things around him! Okay, focus, just me and him. Now how do Ah get him ta notice me?!" Apple Bloom thinks hard, racking her brain with ideas.

"Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom!" Again, she is snapped back into reality, realizing that she and Spike were at the ice cream stand.

"Apple Bloom, you okay? What kind of ice cream do you want?" Spike waves a hand in front of her face.

"Oh yeah! Ah'm fine! Uh... chocolate please." Apple Bloom responds quietly, a slight frown on her face.

"Alright! two chocolates for the young couple!" The ice cream man exclaims enthusiastically, causing them both to blush severely. Both of them try desperately to look anywhere but at each other as the man gathers their ice cream.

"Here ya go!" The ice cream man hands them both their ice cream, then he turns to Spike.

"Go easy on her, dragon boy." He whispers, winking at Spike.

"Gah! She's not! I'm not...!" Spike yelps as he reels back from the now laughing ice cream man, causing him to fall backwards onto the ground and drop his ice cream. Apple Bloom gives him a confused stare.

"Relax kid, I was just pushing your buttons!" He laughs harder. Despite the fact he was joking, Spike's face was still a visible shade of pink.

"Alright, alright, you got me. Now can I have another ice cream cone?" Spike asks bitterly as he gets up off the ground.

"Sorry kid, no refunds. A man's gotta make a living somehow!" The ice cream man gives him smug smile, Spike shoots him a glare.

"But I don't have any bits left!"

"Well, tough luck kid, now get lost." The ice cream man answers with a stern look.

"Fine, be that way! Let's go Apple Bloom." Spike takes Apple Bloom's hand and walks away sourly. She complies without opposition, and is just glad to be close to Spike again.

After they walked for a decent amount of time, Spike continues to stare straight forward and try his hardest not to look back.

"Maybe if Ah could get him ta try ta eat some of mah ice cream... yes it's perfect!" Apple Bloom thinks up a plan as Spike leads her nowhere, just intent in getting away from the ice cream stand, Apple Bloom doesn't care in the slightest.

"Hey Spike, since ya dropped yer ice cream, maybe ya can have some a mine?" A devious smile creeping on her lips, hiding it as soon as Spike turns around and lets go of her hand.

"You sure Apple Bloom? I mean I was pretty bad-mannered back there, I should probably apologize for being so rude." Spike frowns, looking to see that the ice cream stand isn't visible now.

"Oh come on, what he did was totally uncalled fer. And anyway, if only one of us can have ice cream, then Ah want it ta be you." Apple Bloom is sincere, although she still has ulterior motives in the back of her head.

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks Apple Bloom." Spike sighs, and they smile at each other.

"Hey! There she is! Apple Bloom!" Spike and Apple Bloom turn their heads to the direction of the noise and see Scootaloo with Sweetie Belle waving at them. Apple Bloom's smile turns to a frown, disappointed that she can't have more alone time with Spike. She suppresses a groan.

"Hey Scootaloo, hey Sweetie!" Spike calls and waves back, much more enthusiastic than Apple Bloom, who tries her best to look happy about seeing her fellow crusaders. They are quiet the threesome, really. Sweetie, who is the most pale, but most attractive of the three, and a little bit shorter than Spike. Scootaloo, who is very tan and the most athletic, and stands a few inches below Spike in height. And Apple Bloom, who is sort of a mix of Scootaloo and Sweetie, not as cute as Sweetie Belle, and had a tomboyish side to her akin to Scootaloo. She is in between their heights with a slight tan.

"So, whatcha doin'?" Scootaloo and Sweetie walk towards the two.

"Nothing, just getting some ice cream. But I kinda dropped mine." Spike chuckles, embarrassed.

"Well, me and Scootaloo were just looking for Apple Bloom, but it's getting late, and we should probably get home." Sweetie says glumly as she looks at the big town clock, reading 5:00 PM.

"Oh! You're right! If Ah don't get home soon mah sis is gonna kill me!" Apple Bloom has terrified look on her face.

"Well, I don't have to be home for a while, that is if Twilight can cook her own dinner. How about I walk you guys home?" The three girls blush slightly, followed by a long awkward silence.

"I think that's, uh, a great idea!" Scootaloo finally speaks up, her voice lacking in confidence.

"Alright then, let's get going! Applejack's house is just over there, so let's go there first." Spike smiles at the three, turning their faces even more red. Then the four begin walking to Applejack's house, the girl's faces still red and nervously looking anywhere but at Spike. He is confused as to why they are acting so nervous, but shrugs it off as some girl thing.

"Darn it! How am Ah gonna get closer to Spike with these two hoggin' him!" Apple Bloom notices she is still holding her ice cream, and remembers her earlier plan. She hasn't accounted for Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to show up, but at the moment she doesn't care much.

"Hey Spike, Ah still have some ice cream left, but it's a little melted. Ya did want it, right? I mean, ya did pay fer it." She again tries to hide a devious smile. She holds up the ice cream to him, making sure that it was close enough to her.

"Oh, right, sure Apple Bloom! Thanks!" Spike smiles and slowly leans in to take a bite of her semi-melted ice cream.

"Perfect!" Apple Bloom immediately sticks her face in between Spike and the ice cream cone, leading him into a kiss. Spike's eyes widen as he realizes what is going on. The kiss lasts for several seconds as Sweetie and Scootaloo stand there, shocked at what they're witnessing. As soon as Spike comes to his senses, he immediately pulls away and stands straight as a pole, his face as red as a strawberry. Apple Bloom's is much the same, however his face lacking the satisfied look she has.

"Oh Spike~" Apple Bloom manages to speak in an awkward, almost drunken tone, trying to regain her sense of balance.

"OhmygoshI'msosorryAppleBloomIdidn'tmeantokissyouI'msorry!" Spike blurts out as fast as he can while taking a step back, a horrified look on his face. However Apple Bloom is still in a daze, and dropped her ice cream in the commotion.

"Whoa, did that just happen like I think that just happened?" Scootaloo asks, still in shock.

"I think so..." Sweetie answers, also extremely surprised.

"Ah-Apple Bloom? Ah-are you alright?" Spike asks, with nervousness you can practically see with the naked eye.

"Oh! Ah'm perfectly fine Spike, just a bit, uh, taken back." Apple Bloom finally regains her balance, attempting to act like nothing happened.

"I'm s-so sorry Ah-Apple Bloom! Can y-you please f-forgive me?" He begs while stuttering, hoping she wasn't completely furious at his mishap.

"It's alright Spike! Just an accident!" Apple Bloom manages a smile, but her face is still contorted in bliss. Sweetie and Scootaloo just stare at each other, not knowing what they can say.

"Okay... I guess we should get going then, huh Scootaloo?" Sweetie asks, just as confused as the rest of them, save Apple Bloom of course. At that, they all begin a rather awkward walk to Apple Bloom's house.

"What in the hay happened ta her?" Applejack fumes at Spike after Apple Bloom has gotten home, still wearing the same blissful face as right after he kissed her.

"Well, uh, accidents happen?" He replies with a stupid looking grin. Applejack seems less than satisfied with this answer.

"What in tarnation happened ta mah little sister!?" She yells furiously.

"Nothing, nothing!" Spike gives her a frantic expression as he puts his hands up, acting as if he was just caught by the police.

"Well ya'll are just lucky ya got her home fer dinner." She sighs, fairly annoyed. "An' Spike." He stands at attention immediately. "Thanks fer bringin' her home safe." Spike relaxes a bit at this, hoping after the day he just had he could go home and get some rest.

"Now ya'll better get goin'!" Applejack tips her Stetson hat and closes the door.

"Well, that was exhausting. Come on you guys, the sooner I can get some rest the better." Spike yawns faintly as the three walk nonchalantly towards town.

Spike, Sweetie, and Scootaloo arrive at the Carousel Boutique without any of them saying a word. It took a while to get from the farm to the boutique, but after walking for a long time they finally get to the door. Sweetie walks to the doorstep, but has a sudden change of heart, and turns around instead, Spike and Scootaloo are already leaving.

"Uh Spike." Sweetie says shyly, making him and Scootaloo turn around lazily. Sweetie runs up and kisses Spike, less sudden than his kiss with Apple Bloom, but still just as passionate.

"Thanks for, you know, um, walking me home, and stuff." Sweetie turns and runs inside the boutique faster than Spike can respond, leaving a dazed look on his face.

"What just happened?" Spike looks forward at the door to the boutique.

"I think Sweetie just kissed you." Scootaloo replies, in an equal amount of confusion.

"We should probably get going, huh?" Spike continues staring at the door.

"Oh, um, yeah." Scootaloo looks away, trying to hide the sadness apparent on her face.

As they approach their final destination, the sun has almost set over the horizon, leaving a beautiful shade of orange over the town. They stand next to each other, watching the sun as it drifts down slowly and the world begins to fade into darkness.

"The sky sure is beautiful, huh?" Scootaloo asks, sounding like she is just talking to herself. She keeps a bit of distance between her and Spike as they stop to enjoy the view. She looks over at him ever so often, trying to gauge his emotions.

"Yeah, really pretty." Spike's voice also sounding like he was on a different planet, completely alone. A long silence follows, and it takes a while for one of them to break it.

"So, did you like it?" Scootaloo inquires, looking over at Spike.

"What?!" Spike whips his head to Scootaloo, a surprised look on his face.

"You know, kissing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Did you like it?" Scootaloo asks again, curious.

"Well, uh." He grows nervous as he speaks, unsure of what to say next. "It was weird, it was like a feeling I've never felt before. But it felt kinda good." Spike looks directly at the sun, deep in thought, before blushing deeply as he realizes what he just said. He is uneasy, but he soon hears the sound of footsteps approaching him. He turns to face Scootaloo, just in time for their lips to lock slowly. His eyes widen, before he finally comes to terms with what was happening. The kiss lasts for a long time, the sun completely sets over the horizon. And unlike the other times he was kissed, Spike kisses back.

"I think I like that feeling." Scootaloo whispers after they part the kiss. Spike gives her yet another confused look. "What? All the other girls did it." She tells him boldly as she turns around and slowly begins walking the rest of the way to her door.

"Wait! Scootaloo!" Spike shouts as he grabs her hand. She gives him a troubled look. Spike doesn't know what he wants to tell her. Instead of speaking, he just looks down at his hand that is interlocking with hers, and starts to think.

"This is me? This is my hand? No... this isn't a hand. It's a claw, a monster's claw. Not eyes, monster eyes. Not ears, monster ears. Not..." His mind fights with itself for a moment. "Not human."

Spike retracts his arm immediately, turning around and walking away into the darkness. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

"Spike! Are you alright?" Scootaloo calls after him, worried.

"I... I'm fine, see ya, Scootaloo." He waves weakly as he walks away.

"Yeah, see ya... Spike." She says, so quiet that she can barely hear herself.

It was almost 8:00 PM as Spike gets through the door to the library, and he was ready to pass out any minute, a million thoughts running through his mind.

"Home so soon?" Twilight teases him from the kitchen. Spike just groans, which turns into a yawn. Twilight giggles at the odd noise.

"You want dinner? It's still kind of warm." She says as he walks by the door to the kitchen grudgingly. Her smile turns to a frown once she sees him.

"Long night? You wanna talk about it?" Twilight asks him, but he is already half way up the stairs.

"Yeah, really long. I'll tell you all about it in the morning, okay Twi?" Spike barely manages to speak through yawning. After that he just walks into his room, takes of his shoes, collapses on his bed, and falls asleep within a matter of seconds. The librarian lets out a large sigh as she hears Spike fall face first onto his bed. Spike snores less than peacefully, dreams eluding his grasp.

"Huh, boys will be boys I suppose." Twilight sighs yet again as she accepts the fact she isn't getting any details from Spike tonight. She returns to her books for several hours, however after a fairly long time without sleep, she looks up at her window and sees a gray cross-eyed pegasus flying lazily outside. And... did she have bubbles on her flank?

"Alright, it's either get some sleep or go insane." Twilight reasons as she lays her head down and falls asleep. Oddly enough, the only thing she is able to dream about is ponies.

To be continued...

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Hey, Spike? You awake?" Twilight calls as she walks to his doorway. Spike opens his eyes slowly, turning to look at the clock. It's 9:00 AM already. After realizing just how long he had been sleeping for, he is shocked, followed by not caring in the slightest. It had felt like only a short nap to Spike. Mustering up what little strength he has, He sits up in his bed, eyes still half open.

"Ugh, can't I just sleep a little longer?" Spike replies grudgingly, bags under his eyes.

"Seriously? You've been asleep for over thirteen hours straight, how can you still be tired?" She scolds him, annoyed.

"You're just mad cuz I didn't make you breakfast, huh?" Spike manages a smug smile, despite being half asleep. Twilight glares at him as hard as she can.

"Relax, Twi. I was just kidding." Spike laughs, eventually coming to terms with the fact he isn't getting any more sleep. Twilight groans loudly, eliciting a short chuckle from the boy.

"Anyway, I want you to come downstairs and have the breakfast I just made. It's eggs and toast, but if that isn't good enough for the oh-so-fabulous cook Spike then I guess he can go hungry." Twilight says in a matter-of-fact tone. Spike panicks a little, thinking for a second that she is serious.

"Wait, Twilight! Don't!" This time Twilight laughs at his sudden outburst, before getting a glare from Spike.

"Don't worry Spike, you know I would never do something so mean. Besides, I want to have breakfast with you, that way we can talk about last night." Twilight smiles deviously, causing him to blush severely.

"Crap! She remembered! What am I gonna tell her? That I kissed three girls and that's it?!"

After sitting down to a plate of far from fancy eggs and toast, Spike is hesitant about eating anything, or even picking up his fork for that matter. He is too nervous about the conversation that is to come. Twilight simply drinks the coffee she has made, she looks rather refined, much like Rarity does while drinking her tea.

"So Spike, why don't you tell me exactly what happened yesterday?" Spike freezes. Twilight smiles, glad that she is likely going to get an interesting story.

"Well I, I, er, um, well." He stops, he can do nothing but stare at her in fear. Peewee flies down from his small nest and lands on his shoulder.

"Chirp chirp!" Peewee exclaims, Spike sighs in defeat.

"Alright, alright. I'll tell her." He says, disappointed, however slightly amused at the look Twilight is giving him for supposedly being able to talk to the phoenix. "Well, it all started when Apple Bloom and I went for ice cream, then nothing really happened except for me falling and dropping mine like an idiot." Spike grins faintly, his little encounter with the ice cream man making him think a lot about himself. He didn't even realize he thought about it so much until now.

"Now now, Spike. If you can't learn to laugh at yourself, how can you afford to laugh at others?" Spike remembers what Princess Celestia had told him one day while he was joking with Twilight. He can't really remember the situation, but he remembers that he had said something about Twilight being a bookworm, then she said something about him being clumsy and he took it too seriously. He wouldn't even look at her until Celestia talked to him. Spike pondered endlessly on what the princess said. He knew exactly what she told him, but he couldn't really figure out what it meant. Regardless, he cheered up immediately, even if he didn't know why.

"Spike? Did anything happen after that?" Twilight's voice brings him back from his memories.

"Oh yeah, just thinking." He struggles to continue, not sure what Twilight might have for a reaction. "Well, Sweetie and Scootaloo saw us, but by then it was pretty late, and we all started to walk home together." Spike looks over at Twilight, who is seemingly unfazed by his words, as if he hasn't said anything at all. This only makes it harder for him to tell her the truth. "And Apple Bloom offered me some ice cream because I dropped mine, so I went to eat some, but I guess I tripped or something because instead of eating the ice cream I sort of-" He stops, not wanting to say the next part. Twilight looks at him with an eyebrow raised as he sits completely upright in his seat.

"And you sort of what Spike?" She asks like a mother asks her son what he did wrong, which only makes Spike more nervous.

"I sort of, well." Spike stops again, and Twilight rolls her eyes.

"Just spit it out Spike!" She yells, and Spike lets out a rather unmanly yelp of surprise.

"I accidentally kissed Apple Bloom!" He spurts out. There is silence for a few moments as Twilight's face grows pink. "Well, I don't know how it happened, but it was an accident. She said she didn't mind, and we were fine until I walked her home." Spike announces awkwardly.

"Wow, I knew she had a crush on you, but I didn't know something like that would happen." Twilight thought out loud, surprising Spike.

"Apple Bloom has a crush on me?!" He exclaims, his eyes wide as saucers. She immediately smacks herself mentally for her blunder, after all she did promise Apple Bloom she wouldn't tell anyone. Twilight remembers what Pinkie Pie had told her when Rarity wanted her to keep Rarity's jealousy from Fluttershy.

"Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way of losing a friend!" Twilight smirks a bit as she thinks of how Pinkie kept randomly jumping out of nowhere.

"FOREVER!" She winces, also thinking of how Pinkie kept shouting in her ear. Twilight regains her composure quickly.

"I thought you knew, i mean it was so obvious!" Twilight says a bit too accusingly. Spike is still racking his brain, trying to sort things out. Twilight regrets what she said, and immediately realizes who she is talking to. A confused, growing teenage boy who doesn't know a thing about relationships, and she is yelling at him for not knowing anything. Twilight makes it a point to be more concerned for what he is feeling.

"Spike, I'm sorry, of course you couldn't know that she has a crush on you. I shouldn't have assumed you were as smart as me." She stops as she notices how arrogant she was sounding. "I mean, uh, I shouldn't have, uh, well, thought you were super smart is all!" Twilight tries to recover from her mistake, not realizing that Spike hasn't noticed in the slightest.

"What am I gonna do now?! Does that mean that Sweetie and Scootaloo like me too?!" Spike throws his head back, the only thing he can see was the ceiling, his clawed hands over his face.

"What do you mean Sweetie and Scootaloo? Did something happen?" Twilight asks, just as confused as Spike was before. Spike hesitates again, slowly looking down at Twilight.

"Um, well, after I walked Apple Bloom home, me and Sweetie Belle-"

"Sweetie Belle and I." Twilight corrects in an uptight tone. Spike scowls at her and continued.

"Well, we walked Sweetie home to the boutique. But before Sweetie walked in, she ran up and kissed me. She said it was because I walked her home. Then when it was just me and Scootaloo and we started getting close to her house, she kissed me too. She said it was because everyone else did it, but it kinda felt like she was lying." Spike found himself lost in his memories again, remembering each kiss. It seems odd to him, how they all have an equal amount of emotion, even though they were all really different. It was weird, but it wasn't a bad weird, in fact, it made him feel really happy. Why did it make him feel really happy though?

"Well, that's quite the story Spike, how do you think you'll handle this?" Twilight asks, trying not to let him know how little she knows about the subject at hand. Not having any experience with boys was really hindering her right now. All she has to go off of were those human biology books. She cringes at the memories of human anatomy, why oh why did she have a photographic memory?

"I have no idea, I figured I'd just ask them all about it later and see how they felt." Spike looks troubled, his eyes glued to the table.

"That seems like a good thing to do. I think you should go see them after breakfast." Twilight tries to seem like she knows what she is talking about. Spike nods in agreement and they sit in silence for a long while, finishing their breakfast.

"Hey Twilight?" Spike breaks the silence. She looks up at him silently, signaling him to continue. Spike pauses, acting as if he was in a faraway place, totally ignoring the real world. "What do you think love is?" Twilight seems taken aback by this question, not expecting something like that from her "little brother".

"Well, I guess..." Twilight looks out the window thoughtfully, the two now look as if they weren't having a conversation at all, rather they have both gone off to completely different worlds. "I guess I've always thought of love as a kind of magic, not like Rainbow's and Fluttershy's ability to fly, or Rarity's and my magic that lets me control objects and teleport. I think it's more like a special kind of magic, a magic that everyone has inside them." Twilight finishes, both of them still looking as if they were still on different planets. They sit in silence for a couple minutes, allowing themselves to take a break from an already long morning.

Spike sighs loudly. "Alright, I better get going. Anything you need me to do Twilight?" Spike asks as he walks out the door.

"Yeah, Rarity checked out some books a couple of days ago, can you go get them for me?" Twilight requests.

"Ugh, is she reading those vampire books again?" He says with a disgusted look on his face.

"Afraid so." Twilight sighs. "See you later Spike." She waves as she walks upstairs to her room to study.

"Bye Twilight!" Spike smiles and walks out the door.

As he goes into town he thinks about what he should do first. Spike decides that it would be best to talk to the girls first and get the books from Rarity afterwards, he doesn't need to be carrying around books all day. But since he has no idea where the girls would be now, he decides that he should ask Applejack where Applebloom is since her house is the closest.

As Spike reaches the door of the Apple family's house, he hesitates before reaching out his hand and knocking cautiously. This moment in time seems like it lasts for centuries, Spike actually feels so old he would die any minute, then again he might out of anxiety. Every single little movement or sound he can sense, the small butterflies breezing by his ear before being carried off with the wind, the soothing rustling of the leaves in trees behind him. He is so engrossed in the scenery that he hasn't noticed Applejack standing in her doorway.

"Hey there Spike. Whatcha lookin' fer?" Applejack smiles warmly at the boy. Spike jerks himself into attention immediately, a surprised look on his face.

"Well, I was just wondering where Apple Bloom is." He tries to act nonchalant.

"I reckon this is about what happen' last night, isn't it?" Applejack asks, her eyes narrowing. Spike's face grows pink and he gulps.

"Listen Applejack it's not what you think, it was just an accident!" He says frantically, trying to avoid a confrontation with one of the strongest women in Ponyville.

"If it was an accident, why'd ya wanna see her so bad?" She closes in on the boy, to the point where he actually bends backwards to try to create some distance between them. Her face is extremely serious.

"I just want to talk to her." Spike says defensively, Applejack immediately withdraws and chuckles lightly.

"Relax sugarcube, I ain't mad at ya. She's with Sweetie an' Scootaloo at er tree house, go look fer er there." Applejack smiles at him, and he replies with a nervous grin. "Oh and Spike? Apple Bloom's pretty lucky if ya ask me." She winks and shuts the door, only letting Spike respond with a strong blush. Great, he wants the day to be over already and it's still 10:00 AM. He sighs heavily as the red fades from his face and walks slowly towards the forest.

Spike is inches away from the door to the less than perfectly built tree house before he hears the voices on the other side and freezes. He can hear Applebloom talking in a commanding tone. He peeks through the window.

"Alright, Ah think Ah might have an idea on how we can fin ar special talents." Spike sees Applebloom standing behind some sort of pedestal, apparently the unofficial leader of the three.

"So what's the plan?" Scootaloo asks eagerly.

"It's simple... well sort of. All the grown ups know their special talents right? So all we gotta do is act like wer' grown ups! An' what do grown ups 'ave? Grown ups 'ave boyfriends!" Applebloom shouts loudly, everyone's face turned pink, including Spike's.

"That doesn't really seem like the best idea." Sweetie Belle says quietly, clearly embarrassed.

"I think it's a great idea! What better way to be like the grown ups is there?" Scootaloo exclaims excitedly.

"Um, I guess it could work." Sweetie turns her face away.

"Oh course it will! It's the perfect plan!" Apple Bloom begins. "So we should all pick out who wer' gonna go out with. And since Ah've already kissed Spike, then it only makes sense that Ah'll be his girlfriend." Apple bloom smiles with a smug face.

"Hey! I kissed Spike too!" Sweetie goes straight from being embarrassed to downright livid. "And it wasn't an accident either!" She yells as she stood up. Applebloom's eyes widen in shock.

"What are you talking about? You just ran up and kissed him out of the blue! At least he actually kissed me back!" Scootaloo is standing now, yelling just as loud as Sweetie was. Applebloom and Sweeite stand there with their mouths wide open.

"Wait... you two... kissed... Spike?" She turns to Scootaloo, tears starting to form in her eyes. "An' he... kissed you back?" Applebloom is literally on the verge of balling her eyes out, as is Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah he did! So if anyone should be Spike's girlfriend it should be me!" Scootaloo scowls and points her thumb at herself. Applebloom can't hold it in any longer and begins crying as she runs out of the tree house. Spike panics and hides on the other side so she doesn't see him as she runs back to Applejack's house, leaving a small trail of tears behind her. Spike peers through the window again, Sweetie is now crying in her seat while Scootaloo is sitting in the corner depressed. Spike goes down the ladder and starts walking to get the books from Rarity, he can't bring himself to face any of them.

"It's all my fault, if only I had never gone with Apple Bloom to get ice cream, if only I wasn't such a klutz and an idiot. All three of them are hurt because of me. All I do is cause problems for everyone, I'm just a monster." Spike refuses to look up from the ground as he slowly trudges towards the Carousel Boutique. The sky grows dark and it starts to rain, everyone except Spike goes inside. By the time he gets to Rarity's boutique, he's completely soaked, but he doesn't care in the slightest. Spike knocks heavily on the door, as if he can barely lift his hand.

"Oh my word! Spike, you're completely drenched!" Rarity immediately brings him inside. "Now what in Equestria brings you here in this horrible storm?" She asks as she hands Spike a towel.

"Thanks Rarity. I was looking for some books you signed out from the library." Spike says, not looking any less downtrodden than before. Rarity gives him a confused look but decides to shrug it off.

"Well you can bring the books back after the storm dies down. Right now we must get you into something dry, I can't imagine being in those wet clothes, it must feel like you're in a nightmare!" She says rather over-dramatically. "Now you're just lucky that I have a spare set of clothes for all my friends." Rarity starts rifling through her dresser until she finds an identical set of clothes as the ones Spike is wearing. "Here, take these and go change. There is a changing room right over there." She points at the open door to a small room. Spike walks in and shuts the door halfheartedly.

"What's this mirror for?" Spike shouts through the door. Rarity smiles and rolls her eyes.

"Why it's to see how good you look, of course." She chuckles and begins stitching fabrics together. Spike doesn't particularly enjoy this idea, and just stands there in silence looking at his deformities. Every single time he looks at himself he remembers the countless people in Canterlot who used to yell at him because of how he looks.

"They had every right to be mad at me, I'm not even human." Spike becomes so concentrated on his memories that he forgets he's still in his wet clothes.

"Spike, are you alright in there?" Rarity stops sewing, noticing how long it's taking Spike to get changed.

"Yeah Rarity, I'm fine." The nervousness was apparent in his voice. Rarity knew something was wrong.

"Alright, just let me know if you need anything deary." Spike hears footsteps as Rarity paces around the room, probably thinking of a new design. Still he can barely bring himself to move. Spike sighs deeply and begins slowly undressing. However he doesn't know that the door to the dressing room wasn't completely closed, and Rarity just happens to be pacing right outside the door.

Rarity stops dead in her tracks as a small breeze rolls in and blows the door open quietly, revealing Spike in nothing but his underwear. She instantly realizes how much Spike has grown from when she first met him, he isn't just some naive boy with a little crush on her anymore. He is practically a man now, and he is certainly not the worst looking guy in town. Rarity just stares into space, dreaming of what it would be like to be with Spike. She knows she had some feelings for him, but she never realized that she wants him this badly. In her eyes, he is the nicest, most helpful, funniest guy she has ever met. And no matter how she looks at it, she doesn't want anything more than to be in his embrace.

Rarity stands there, blushing profusely as Spike continues getting into his dry clothes, completely unaware the door is open. After he is fully clothed, he turns around. He sees Rarity, standing there with her eyes fixated on him. Their eyes meet, both looking as if they have stared straight at Medusa. After a while of standing there, staring at each other, Spike speaks up meekly.

"R-Rarity? H-How long have you been standing there?" Spike takes a step back and trips, falling against the mirror. Rarity panics wildly.

"Spike, it's not what you think! I would never do something so naughty!" Rarity tries to defend herself, knowing full well what she had been doing. She slowly begins regaining her composure. "And besides, you have nothing to be ashamed of... you're a very handsome young man." Rarity attempts to calm herself, still blushing quite profusely. Spike just looks down at the floor, more depressed than ever.

"If I have nothing to be ashamed of, then why do I cause all these problems for everybody? I should have never been born, I'm just a monster." Spike starts to cry silently. Rarity walks into the dressing room and kneels beside him. She cups his cheek in her hand, and as soon as he looks up at her she holds him tight and kisses him passionately. Spike sits there, eyes wide as Rarity kisses him deeply. He has dreamed of this moment for as long as he has known her, but it just doesn't feel right. Spike can't stand the fact that Rarity was kissing a monster. He pulls away from her loving embrace with a deep frown.

"Spike, what's wrong?" Rarity asks sadly. "I thought you wanted this."

"No Rarity. I don't." He starts to cry again. "I want to be with you more than anything else, but I just can't. I won't let you be with a monster." He looks at the mirror, now face to face with his own reflection, but all he sees is a monster looking back at him.

"Spike, you're not a monster. You're a human being, not only that, you're the sweetest, kindest, most amazing person I've ever known. And... And..." Rarity stops, If she has ever been sure of anything in her entire life, she knows it's this. "And... I love you, Spike." Spike is shocked, the girl of his dreams has just confessed her love to him. However, he can do nothing but shake his head furiously.

"Just look at me!" He shoves his clawed hand in front of her face. "My hand isn't human. My ears aren't human. I'm not human!" Spike shouts loudly as he recoils his hand. Rarity sits next to him, awe struck by the sight. She reaches out a hand, trying to comfort him.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Spike yells loudly as he lashes out with his hand, lightly scratching Rarity on the cheek. He freezes immediately as Rarity brings a hand to her scratch and winces in pain. Spike slowly brings his hand in front of his face, seeing a small trail of blood running down one of the claws. His eyes grow wide, realizing what he has done. Instantly he runs as fast as he can out of the boutique into the pouring rain.

"Spike! wait!" Rarity runs to the door, but can't see anyone through the storm. She slowly falls to her knees and covers her face with her hands as she cries. The wind blows the door shut.

"Monster, monster, monster, monster, MONSTER!" Spike yells that word to himself so much that it doesn't even seem like a word anymore, however no one but him can hear his screams. He keeps running as fast as he can, far away from the boutique. His face is dripping water and tears as he runs straight out of town. Soon after he doesn't have the strength to run any further. He starts walking, but each step seems like he is carrying a huge boulder on his back. Spike can't take it anymore. He falls to his knees and sobs in his hands. He doesn't want to run anymore. He doesn't want to live anymore.

Spike sits there for a long while, crying loudly. He stops only when he feels a hand resting gently on his shoulder.

To be continued...

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Spike? What's wrong?" Spike looks over his shoulder, he can make out a silhouette of a woman through the rain, but he knows who it was, that sweet voice is unmistakable. Great, now Fluttershy has to get caught up in this disaster that is his life.

"It's..." He tries to wipe away his tears, only for them to be replaced by raindrops. "It's nothing, really." Spike attempts to reassure her halfheartedly.

"Spike, I'm not as naïve as you think I am." Fluttershy scolds. Spike sighs and dips his head again. She mimics his sigh. "I understand." She reminds herself that everyone has secrets they don't want to talk about, and it's best to comfort Spike rather than question him. "Well, we've got to get you out of the rain, follow me." Spike regretfully gets to his feet and follows her. Apparently Spike had ran out of Ponyville and into the field right next to Fluttershy's cottage. He turns his head, now facing the Everfree Forest. Normally, it would have made him feel scared, or at least nervous. Not now. Right now, it seems more like a peaceful place, a place he could go to escape, away from all the people he has hurt.

"Spike, are you okay?" Fluttershy asks as she holds the door to her cottage open for Spike. He turns to her slowly, nodding and trudges into the home without speaking a word. Looking at him, she sees that his face looks like he is practically dead. Fluttershy follows him into her home, more worried and anxious than before.

"Spike, do you need anything? Really, anything you want, I'll get it right away!" Spike walks away from her, responding with nothing. Fluttershy chases him slowly after she closes the door. "Spike? Please say something." He still won't say anything, he has nothing to say. "D-do you need a drink?" She places her hand on his shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He grabs Fluttershy's arm and throws it away from him, now eye to eye with the girl. Fluttershy recoils in fear, she has never seen Spike act like this before. His eyes turn wild.

"Spike, please, something's wrong!" Fluttershy tries to reach out to him despite her fear, only for Spike to slap her arm away in his fit of rage.

"Just..." He closes his eyes and lowers his head, clenching his fists into tight balls. "JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Spike shouts, tears stream down his face. He turns around and runs, but he has no idea where he is going, he doesn't know Fluttershy's house at all. However, he is content with running straight up the stairs, anywhere that is opposite of Fluttershy, or anyone he cares about. He bursts through the first door he can find, slamming it behind him as he bursts into tears. He falls into a fetal position with his back to the door. Fluttershy runs after him and tries to open the door to the guest room, the one Spike ran into. She quickly finds that it's locked from the inside.

"Spike? Spike!" She calls for him, but only receives faint crying as a response. She calms down a little, at least she knows he isn't furious anymore. There is a completely new problem, but she knew how to handle this one better.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Fluttershy!" Spike speaks through his sobbing, making sure she can hear him. Fluttershy leans against the door.

"It's okay Spike, I forgive you." Fluttershy sits on her knees on the opposite side of the door. "I-I don't know exactly what to say, but if you need to talk, just let me know okay?" She tries to comfort him, but he still cries just as much.

"Thanks Fluttershy." He manages faintly through his tears. "I think I need to be alone for a while." He says after his tears subsided.

"Spike, it's okay with me if you stay here tonight, you can go back to the library tomorrow when you're feeling better." She receives no response. "Spike?"

"Thanks Fluttershy." He says again, just as he did before. Fluttershy doesn't know what else to say to make him feel better, if he doesn't talk about it then she can't do much. She thinks that perhaps if she makes him lunch he might feel a little better. Regretfully, she stands up and leaves Spike.

The rest of the day is uneventful, Fluttershy placed the food on the outside of the door and left it there, hoping Spike would be coaxed out of his sorrow, if only for a moment. Occasionally she checks on him, receiving faint, short responses. Several hours pass by, and the sky that was covered with clouds began to clear and reveal a pitch black horizon. The food remains untouched. She wonders whether or not she should bring Spike to the library, but even if she wants to, she can't just forcefully take Spike all the way there, he is far stronger than her after all. She also doesn't want to leave Spike all alone. It's far too dark now, and the only thing left for her to do is hope Spike will be in a better mood so she can take him home tomorrow and explain the situation to Twilight. Fluttershy can't stand it, feeling so useless, but she can't think of anything else to do. She knows Spike is still up, probably still sitting beside the door. She walks up to the door and picks up the plate of untouched food.

"Spike, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." His voice gets sadder every time he responds, Fluttershy grows worried.

"I'm... I'm going to make another plate of food, can you please promise me you'll eat it?" She looks over the food, perfectly untouched, she thinks about just heating it up again, but Spike deserves better than that.

"Okay Fluttershy, I promise." Spike had stopped crying, although his eyes are still bloodshot from the tears. After she goes downstairs, Fluttershy begins the task of preparing a new meal for Spike. She's trying so hard to make it perfect that she doesn't notice the knife she's holding is getting increasingly close to her finger as she cuts, until it's too late.

"AH!" She screams, however her scream isn't very loud and comes out as more of a squeak. The tip of her finger draws a small trail of blood slowly making its way down her finger. Quickly, she grabs a soft tissue from the counter behind her and covers the wound, occasionally revealing it so she can suck on it like a pacifier to relieve the pain. Fortunately, she is done with the food, and doesn't have to use the knife anymore. After a few minutes of either holding her finger or sucking on the wound, she puts a band-aid on it and brings the meal upstairs. Fluttershy knocks on the door lightly with one hand while placing the plate on the ground, just like the first one. There is no response. She knocks harder. Still no response.

"Spike, you promised!" Fluttershy whines through the door.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll eat it." Spike sighs. "Can I please just eat it alone though? I don't want to see anyone right now."

"Alright Spike, I'll go to bed, but you have to eat, okay?"

"Thank you, Fluttershy."

"Spike, please, stop saying thank you, I'm doing this because I want to, you don't have to keep thanking me." Spike is silent again. "G-goodnight Spike."

"Goodnight Fluttershy." He seems a little bit happier, at least Fluttershy has that to reassure her. She walks to her room, a bit woozy from being so tired. She collapses on her bed, falling asleep instantly. Spike opens the door to the guest room and looks down at the food. It does look delicious, although his appetite isn't feeling very good at that moment, actually it's more like the entire day. He ponders for a moment on just dumping the food somewhere, but that would be way too mean to Fluttershy. He turns the plate around a bit, examining the food. He stops when he sees a small pool of red liquid on the side of the plate. Unfortunately, while Fluttershy was trying to tend to her cut, she let a little bit of blood spill onto the plate. Spike cautiously dips his finger in the liquid, curious to see what it was. He holds his hand up, and the blood trickles down his finger to his palm.

"No, it can't be." He thinks. This... this is... His mind flashes to the image of Rarity's blood on his finger. "No no no no no no no!" He picks up the plate and throws it against the wall, making an audible smash throughout the house. His mind goes wild, twisting in between reality and images of accidentally hurting Rarity earlier that day, along with her blood on his claw. Spike feels like he's going to throw up. He clumsily makes his way down the stairs, almost tripping on every step until he finally makes it down and into the kitchen. He frantically reaches around until he finds the knife Fluttershy had cut herself with, which still has a tiny red spot on it. Spike grips the knife in both hands and points the tip at his chest. Tears stream down his face and onto the ground. He brings the knife away from him slowly, with the tip still pointing at him.

"Monster." He utters, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall to the floor. He plunges the knife towards him as hard as he can.

"Why. Why am I like this. Why was I born like this. Why am I a monster?" Spike asks himself, but he knows no one will answer. He can only hope that someone will tell him he was like everyone else. That's all he ever wanted, he wants someone to tell him he is a person. He doesn't want someone telling him it's fine to be different, he doesn't want someone telling him it's fine to be a monster, he doesn't want to be a monster at all.

"Spike, please wake up! Spike? Spike!" He opens his eyes slightly, seeing a small sliver of gray. He turns his head, but gray is all he can see. He knows he is on a bed somewhere, but is unsure where or why. He feels like his eyelids are heavier than normal, and can't keep them open for more than couple seconds. The darkness takes him again.

Spike's vision fades in for the second time, there are more voices, and he can see more colors. Spike can feel a tingling in his chest, right where his heart is. He moves his hand over it. His action is accompanied by various gasps he can hardly hear. He opens his eyes a tiny bit wider and can just barely make out the faces of Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, and three other young girls at the foot of the bed. His eyes feel heavy again, he can't stay awake any longer.

Spike tries to open his eyes again, only to close them tightly when he regains feeling in his chest. The unpleasant tingling is much more significant now. He clenches his hand over the increasing pain, but it has little effect. He curls up, almost in a fetal position while sitting on the bed. He has both hands over his heart, grabbing his skin tightly. He coughs and pants heavily. Through the pain he can hear a few frightened shouts and the sound of someone running. A few moments later a person he doesn't recognize is in the room, Spike can make out some yelling, but his vision is still a bit hazy. The person pushes his torso down onto the bed and gives him a shot of something Spike doesn't recognize, then begins applying something to his chest. Spike feels himself losing consciousness again, and fights to stay awake. He quickly loses.

Spike fully regains consciousness for the first time, although with a throbbing headache and a low, drawn out groan. The pain in his chest is gone, however whenever he moves his hand over his chest, he can't feel anything at all. That person must have made his chest numb. He begins to remember the appearance of the man, and he instantly figures out where he is.

"Ugh, I hate the hospital." He grumbles. "Why am I even here anyway?" Spike looks around the room, the window curtains are almost closed, and the room is dark. He can make out half of the moon through the curtains. Spike slowly turns his head to the other side of the room, noticing the room is only for one person. He won't be able to talk to anyone often. He can't tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Spike? A-are you awake?" A familiar voice reaches his ears. Immediately he turns his head to one of the few chairs at his bedside, the moonlight just barely making the girl visible.

"Scootaloo? Is that you?" He asks faintly, unable to talk as loud as normal. Scootaloo responds with a nod. "Why are you here?" He coughs harshly, gripping his chest. Scootaloo jumps up and is at his side in a second.

"Spike, don't talk so much! You're hurt!" She says, a bit harsher than she thinks she should have. "Um, please." She adds, trying to sound nicer. "And well, I'm here, uh, because they, um, needed someone to stay with you just in case you had a medical emergency, or something." Scootaloo speaks nervously. Spike doesn't notice her nervousness, he just listens to what she told him.

"Okay." He says softly. "Can I ask one more thing?"

"Sure, anything." She replies, lacking confidence a bit.

"Are you still angry with Sweetie and Apple Bloom?" Spike asks, concerned.

"It's, well." She sighs. "It's kind of complicated." Scootaloo begins twiddling her thumbs. "Wait." She pauses, looking directly at Spike. "How did you know I was mad at Sweetie and Apple Bloom?" She squints her eyes.

Spike's eyes dart around the room, "Well, funny story actually." He speaks fast, and coughs loudly as a consequence.

"I said not to talk so much, idiot!" Scootaloo scolds. They hear sounds of steps in the hallway. "Crap!" Scootaloo utters, running to the window, and just before jumping out she stops and looked back. "See you later, Spike." She smiles, is she blushing? Spike can't tell in the darkness. The footsteps grow louder, and Scootaloo takes a leap of faith and drops to the ground below. Spike's heart almost jumps in shock, then her upper body comes into view, and he realizes his room is on the first floor. His hand is brought to his forehead, making an audible slapping sound before Scootaloo giggles at him and runs away quietly.

"What's going on? Was there someone in here?" The man orders, Spike instantly recognizes him as the doctor who gave him that shot earlier. He steals one more glance at the window.

"It's fine, some birds flew in through the window, but they're gone now." He tries to say genuinely. The doctor gives him an odd look before closing the window.

"Are you sure nobody was in here?" The doctor asks again.

"I'm sure." Spike replies strangely, he isn't a very good liar, but he hopes that his feigned obliviousness would be enough to stop the man from asking any more questions.

"Alright, if you say so." The doctor gives him another quizzical look before exiting the room, leaving Spike alone with only a faint brightness from the moon to light up the room.

Spike looks around the room slowly, examining everything from the curtains on the window to the doorknob. Mostly everything in the room is pure white, as most hospitals tend to be. Spike decides there isn't much else to do besides try to get some sleep, however one question still haunts him.

"Why am I here?"

Spike raises his hand over his eyes as they are assaulted by the bright sunlight. He checks the clock above the door in his room, it reads about 8:30 AM. His eyes slowly adjust to the brightness of the room.

"Oh, good morning Spike." The same doctor walks in once again, this time holding a clipboard and writing down notes, Spike assumes he was taking notes on his vitals and whatnot, though he's eager to ask the man why. "Your visitors will be coming to see you any minute now, they've been very caring during your recovery." He says cheerfully.

"Recovery? Recovery from what?" Spike asks. The doctor gives him a very confused glare, as if he is questioning Spike's very existence. Spike realizes he would have been better off if he hadn't have asked at all. "Never mind, I remember now." He says quickly, attempting to save himself from the doctor's intimidating stare.

"I see... How are you feeling today, Spike?" The doctor asks intently. Spike confidently responds that he is fine, yet the doctor seems very confused about his cheery attitude. "Well... I'm glad you seem to be feeling better, you gave all your friends quite a scare."

"Quite a scare? What did I do?" Spike thinks to himself, searching frantically for an answer. The doctor leaves without Spike noticing. He continues to look for what the doctor could have been talking about within his own mind. All of a sudden, his mind is taken back to the time he was at Fluttershy's cottage. His vision is assaulted by the image of the blood on his finger, then the kitchen in Fluttershy's cottage, and finally... The knife. The knife which he attempted to commit suicide with. The knife which he attempted to end his life with, because he thought - no, because he was certain - that he was a monster. He slowly gets up from his bed. He frowns and glares at the door, his green, lizard-like eyes meet the door harshly. His gaze grows cold and angry as his muscles tense.

"Monster." He says as he slowly but firmly walks towards the door. The word used to bring him sadness and fear, but now it has a completely new meaning. His eyes change once again, from anger and coldness to a look of pure determination. He isn't afraid of that word anymore. He doesn't fear it now. He is a monster.

To be continued...

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Mommy, what's wrong with that boy? The children point at Spike and say, inquisitive looks on their faces as they hold their mother's hands, walking along the shimmering streets of Canterlot. He holds his head in shame.

As a young boy, Spike was raised by Princess Celestia's servants, who were very nice, at least towards him. He always thought it was just because Celestia told them to take good care of him, and that they were only acting. Although he had close ties to Celestia, he barely ever saw her, and almost nobody knew of his connection to her. He would go to help Twilight in her studies every day and, while spending time with Twilight was his favorite part of the day, the walk to Twilight's home was ridden with anxiety and depression.

"Daddy, why does that kid have weird ears?" the parents of these children tell them to stop talking about it, or they didn't know the answers themselves. But a lot of the time, they reply with "It's because he's not human, just don't talk to him."

At these answers, Spike tries not to shed tears, he doesn't want seem weak. There are some occasions when he can't control himself, the tears stream down his face as he struggles not to show them, holding his head lower so he isn't seen. He is a bad child, there is nothing he is more certain of. The parents of the other kids don't want them to talk to him for this very reason. He isn't sure why he is bad, only that he is. Each march to Twilight's home becomes more devastating than the last.

"Spike, why are the books wet?" Twilight asks some days, Spike tries to assure her that it was raining outside, despite not being wet at all. Twilight doesn't bother, she only thought of her books at that age. Spike doesn't blame her, he likes his time spent with her, and he doesn't want to ruin it with his sorrow. He never tells Celestia, but he always thought she knew anyway, he is too afraid of what she would say if he is open about his problems. He wonders why he is treated so poorly by everyone in Canterlot, why he is a bad person.

It must have been a day in the summer, as the sun was shining bright and the few clouds in the sky only complemented it's beauty, Spike finally got an answer. He is making his walk to Twilight's home, the same walk he made every day since he was around ten years old. He lost track of the days, but it was well over two years now. The treks never got any easier. As he makes his way to his same destination for what feels like the millionth time, the children point, some teenagers laugh, and the parents avoid any contact with him whatsoever. It is a usual day, as far as Spike is concerned. Suddenly, he is on the ground. His face and chest hurt, and he rolls onto his back, groaning as he looks up. Some older boys had pushed him to the ground. They start kicking his sides and face. He tries to protect his face with his arms, luckily his skin is tougher than most. They laugh as they hurt him, they take the books he was carrying and tear them to pieces, throwing the remains across the street. The other people on the street either don't seem to notice or care, or just watch, unsure of what to do. None of them help. Finally the boys stop, several of them spit on him before leaving. He stays on the ground for a while, his body numb with pain in some places. Still nobody helps him. He thinks that if he tells any of this to Twilight or Celestia, or any of the servants, they might see him as an outcast too, and he might be abandoned.

He doesn't see Twilight that day. After he picks himself up, all he does is get as far away from the city as possible. He doesn't have any bruises or visible wounds. He assumes it's only because of how much of a freak he is. He doesn't know where he is, he only knows that he's far away from where he doesn't want to be. Spike looks around slowly, he's on the side of a road, one that nobody uses much anymore because pegasus flight is much faster than traveling by ground, and more efficient over long distances. There's nobody around, he seems like the only person in the world. There are two large plains that seem to extend forever into the horizon on either side of this road. He sits down on the side of the road, unsure of what else to do. He doesn't want to go back to Canterlot, he doesn't want to go back to anywhere.

"I wish I was dead." Spike clenches his fists, crying openly and curling up as he sits by the road. As he sits there, he ponders on never returning to Canterlot, and that he might be able to find a better place somewhere else. He suddenly feels something on his back. He remembers that one of the boys put something there as he was pushed down. Spike immediately tears it off his back and examines it. It's a large piece of paper, with nothing but a piece of tape and a huge word written crudely on it, as if the word itself was mocking him. "MONSTER".

"Monster..." Spike repeats, trying to comprehend the word in his head, questioning its very existence. After a few moments of thinking, his eyes grow wide and he feels his own hands, his ears, and his teeth. He notices how different they are from a normal person's, and realizes that this is why he was an outcast. It is because he is a monster.

"Monster." He scratches his skin harshly, trying to hurt himself. He cries more, but he isn't sad anymore, he's furious. He hates himself with such ferocity that he wants to erase himself from existence. He screams angrily, as loud as he can, wishing that something would come and end his worthless life. He doesn't want to go back to Canterlot because he wants to find another life anymore, he doesn't want to go back because he wants to let himself die. As his mind fights with itself on whether to go back or leave forever, he feels the day fading away ever so slowly. He doesn't have the courage to leave for good.

He takes a different route each day now, trying to avoid being seen by anyone as much as he can. He wants to fade from this world, unnoticed and alone. Twilight questions why he has been arriving later more often, he tells her that it's only because he's eating a bigger breakfast lately, so he needs more time to eat. Twilight questions this little, and returns to her studies as always. Even when Spike is with Twilight, he feels a deep sorrow in himself. When Twilight isn't making him do something, or whenever he has free time, he only has thoughts about how much of a horrible monster he is. He never seeks counseling, he doesn't want Twilight or Celestia to think that something is wrong with him. Oddly enough, although he wants nothing more than to not be alive, he still cares greatly about Twilight and Celestia's opinions about him. In a way, it is the only thing keeping him alive. He doesn't want the only people in the entire world who have ever cared about him to feel sad because of his actions.

Still, every day for Spike is wrought with depression. He is never physically abused again, but he knows what everyone else thinks about him. He feels guilty, just for being alive. This torturous way of living continued for another three or so years, until finally he got a letter from Celestia, informing Twilight that the two of them would be staying in Ponyville in order to supervise the Summer Sun Celebration. Spike was excited about something for the first time in ages, he was happy to be leaving Canterlot, if only for a short while. When they arrive there, he almost instantly notices that everyone is very friendly and nobody avoids his eyes when he looks at them. He feels like an average person for the first time in his entire life, and he absolutely loves this town. He even developed a crush on one of the residents, who seems to be one of his closest friends now, something he never would have dreamed of prior to coming here. Spike feels accepted in Ponyville, and after only one day there's no place he would rather be.

Even though Spike and Twilight were only assigned to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration, Princess Celestia decides that they would be better staying there permanently, and that Twilight will continue her studies from the town's library. Spike is ecstatic, he wants to stay here forever and never leave. He finally found a place where he can be treated as equal to everyone else.

Spike thinks that the best part about staying in Ponyville is the woman who resides in the Carousel Boutique. Her name is Rarity, and he almost instantly becomes infatuated with her stunning beauty. She is a bit taller than him, her skin as smooth as silk, her gorgeous figure is only complimented by her beautiful face. Rarity is truly the object of almost any man's desires, although she hasn't found any man who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Spike works day and night to please her, his affection for her grew with every passing day, and he slowly forgets about his old life, the life of a freak living in a human world.

But still, every night Spike is haunted with nightmares of his past. He can never escape who he was always told he is, he still believes it himself. He sees himself as nothing but a monster, and he's always cautious about becoming close to others, for fear that he might hurt them later on. Even when he doesn't act like it, he still hates himself. He tries to hide it in front of the people he cares about, but he's not able to see himself as anything but an outcast or a monster. He has been living in Ponyville for a little over four years, and while now completely comfortable and happy with his life, he still wishes he could be a normal human being, he can never forget his past. Over time, this negative part of him grows, and lately his emotions have been thrown into turmoil. Being a monster has become the only way he can identify himself anymore.

Spike stands at the edge of the Everfree Forest. He stares at it for a long time with cold, almost dead eyes. He makes no physical movement whatsoever. He feels empty inside, unafraid of what lies ahead if he steps into the forest.

"That's the Everfree Forest Spike, only horrible things and monsters live there." He remembers Twilight telling him about the forest.

"This is where monsters belong." Spike walks slowly and calmly towards the forest. His previously empty emotions begin to fill with anger and hatred. He does not not hesitate or pause whatsoever as he makes his way inside. He is soon lost among the darkness of the trees.

To be continued...