Memories.

I walk across the path I have treaded for years. I know where it leads, but I can never reach the end. It stands beyond my reach, something I cannot find. I wish I could reach it, but even I have limitations. My sorrow and grief has grown over the eons, never diminishing, only growing. It happened years ago, but I never can forget about it.

What was it worth? I ask myself again and again. Why did it happen? Was it worth the greed of one pony to sacrifice the life of everyone else? Was he even satisfied with what he gained? These are questions I ponder while I walk. Ever walking, wandering this decaying land in search of life, for some glimmer of hope.

And yet I know that no matter how long I search I will never find those who are lost to me. They are gone, allowed to leave this land that hatred and greed destroyed. How I envy them, my loved ones, the ones who called me friend. I was honored to call them friends as well. They cared for me, and welcomed me as one of them. I never truly knew why. Yet they cared for me and trusted me, and I betrayed them. They let me return to their midst, let me rejoin them, welcomed me with open arms. I was stunned and baffled by it, but I was touched as well. They cared for me, even after all I had done.

As I walk, I wonder. Why did it happen? Why did he do it? Why was he willing to free what lurked beneath us in exchange for a little power? Would I change it if I could? I would, but there are things even I cannot change. The hands of time tick ever forward and I cannot stop their relentless ticking.

I scuff the hard ground with my hoof. The ground is hard and rocky, rocks littering the burnt earth. The fires that raged here made of more than simply of heat and air. It was a flame of hatred and rage, fueled by the evil that fought here. I hated that day, when all of the land was ringed in flames. The day that the end came and all bonds broke loose. Foul things had crawled along this land that day, destroying any and all in their path.

You sacrificed yourself that day. How I longed that it could have been me and not you Celestia. How I regretted your sacrifice. The flame fell from you like rain from the sky, it burnt this land. They never stood a chance. They burned in their own fire they had created, didn’t they? Those monsters and fell things that he had freed.

You tried your hardest, didn’t you? You kept kindness in this world till the bitter end; you kept it from vanishing like mist in the sunlight. You fought the most out of any of us, but in your own way. Those foul things truly hated seeing light and friendship. They couldn’t approach it, they fell from it. You drove back the darkness Fluttershy; you kept that fire of hope burning till the end.

I sit on a hard outcropping from the ground. I attempt to discern some sound from the echoing silence, but I hear nothing. All life vanished years ago, in the flames that blazed across this land. How I wish that some voice of consolation would come to ease my fears, to give me hope. I know that it is my own fear that causes me to wish this, to wish for something more, something after this. I fear that fate, to wander this barren wasteland for eternity, to never find rest.

I envy Rainbow Dash, the most loyal of us all. She was loyal till the end, and even after that. She saved me. She held them off long enough for me to escape. I couldn’t help myself. I tried to help, but I was afraid. I ran, and my shame has weighed me down since that day.

Rarity, your generosity was an inspiration to all. You gave everything, even your life. Nothing was as pure as what you gave for us. Life. You saved them, your sister and her friends. You gave them a chance to be free, to run from the evil and hatred that this world was filled with.

I wave my tail at the empty landscape. My friends… They saved everyone they could, but even that wasn’t enough. What sought victory knew no bounds. Luna knew it was coming, and sought to stop it. The darkness came at last, but Luna shone like a light in the dark. She slew it in the end, that defiant little princess. I laugh bitterly. Defiance. That was what had caused the Nightmare Moon incident, King Sombra, Tirek, and even my imprisonment. Order and Chaos went hand in hand at times. But now, there was neither. Even my former chaotic nature no longer existed. Nopony could watch what had happened here and stay the same. I shudder at the memory.

I stand slowly. A world without hope… is that a world I want to be in? A world without friendship or light? I laugh weakly. It’s not like I have a choice. There is no way for me to end my agony. Those who could have done so are long dead. I snap my fingers. A glass appears in my hand. Chocolate milk, but even that has lost its flavor to me. I crush the glass between my fingers. Why did this have to happen? An ending that nopony wanted?

I sit back down on the outcropping. What happened here was something that never should have happened. Greed, betrayal, dishonesty, hatred, cruelty and scorn are what caused this fight. The Elements should have stopped it, but they couldn’t. Before they reached tree he had destroyed it. He had mocked them, called them weak, and I had done nothing.

Applejack had been honest to the end, refusing to believe in his lies. In a land so filled with deceit she refused to believe it. She exposed the traitor in the end, and was able to stall him. He killed her in cold blood, and had… I shudder at the memory. I cannot bear to think about it. Her death was the hardest to take.

Pinkie had been grinning to the end. Laughter had endured, and it had given hope and joy. I often wondered what place laughter had as an Element of Harmony, which is why I loved it so much. It seemed so out of place. But I realize now that they didn’t represent harmony, but friendship. Joy was part of friendship, and I felt wonder when I realized it.

Twilight stood with her friends till the end. They were at an impasse, the two of them. She finished him in the end, but at the cost of her own life. She was the second to perish, and hers was perhaps the worst blow upon us all.

I stare up to the heavens, pondering what I have remembered. The stars in all their glory, shining down upon the earth. Oh, what I would give to see my friends one last time, if only to ease the pain. But I cannot reach beyond the veil of death to my loved ones. The dead are at peace, and we cannot bring them back.

Friendship was something that we all needed, to help us through the high times and the low. The joys of it were unimaginable. But I wonder, was the friendship worth it? To have it torn away after only a few years? Was the joy worth the eons of pain that have piled up since that fateful day? Was it worth it?

I think about it for what seems like an eternity. I know not if it was. There is no time where I am left, nothing but the wide expanse of sky. “Yes,” I say quietly, tears filling my eyes. “It was worth it.” I place my head in my hands and cry. “Wait for me my friends. Wait for me.”

Author's Note

I wrote this one-shot to try my hand at sad and dark. I also wanted to see if I could write in first person or create a post-apocalyptic story. I thought about Discord's betrayal and was wondering if it would ever weigh him down. Constructive criticism is welcome.